February 25th, 2010


For all their talk of engaging online and being so technically advanced, sometimes politicians painfully show just how of touch they really are. Most Twitter users at some point in the last week would have received a message from one of their followers or friends that said “haha is this you?” with a link. Classic spammer trick, it then spreads to all your followers. Harriet Harman has gone into full hysterical mode claiming in the House of Commons that her account had been “hacked” when Alan Duncan, a new gaffe-potential convert to the Twitterati, replied to what he thought was a genuine message from his old sparring partner. Far from Twitter proving this lot are in touch, more often than not it makes them look like morons. Perhaps it would be a more appropriate use of MPs time to be working on fixing that £178 billion deficit rather than messing around trying to look like they are down with the kids.


  1. 1
    Paul B says:

    As is very often the case – a link to the story would be great. I and many others would much appreciate it. Would make this blog so much better if there were links. Damn shame.

  2. 2
    RantinRab says:

    Fuckwits, one and all.

  3. 3
    Dack Blog says:

    Great header.

  4. 4
    Tennerpants says:


  5. 5
    Dack Blog says:

    Is she nursing a Nokia injury?

  6. 6
    BROWNED OFF says:

    Just read Nick Cohen’s piece. Excellent recommendation Guido.

  7. 7
    George Osborne says:

    Lady Gaga should just lend David Cameron her balls….

  8. 8
    doom head says:

    what a moose

  9. 9
    SOACFOAD says:

    270,000 civil servants due to strike, BBC webiste lead news story – Bridge turns back on England – Fucking Beeb.

  10. 10
    MadArthur says:

    Anyone over 5 years of age using twittering or what ever ought to be shot. Alternatively, they could be the next PM

  11. 11
    Lomax says:

    If anyone here understands Twitter, please explain the post to me. Thankyou.

    p.s. WTF is it?

  12. 12
    ozzie bird says:

    Any truth in the rumour that Malcolm ‘Three nipples’Powers[S.E Labor]is still trying to get signed up to any leadership bid endorsed by H.H.?Previously he was given the knock-back on account of the bad publicity that had attatched to his name following reports about his vile habit of showing off his ‘three nipples’..[hence the nickname-for those not at the cutting edge of pre-election politics.]

  13. 13
    Regime Change (Bring it On) says:

    Perhaps the dreaded Harm Man will now bring out new Equality Legislation for Twits.

  14. 14
    poppicker says:

    No more than in the rumour that Powers is Lady Gaga’s sister…

  15. 15
    Jac says:

    What a bloody surprise. Harriet Hapless does it again :)

  16. 16
    Anonymous says:

    I should imagine that a muffled tweet is what passes for a thundering orgasm in the D

  17. 17
    Regime Change (Bring it On) says:

    She just looked in the mirror

    ” Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

    How could you be so cruel……”

  18. 18
    Hugh Janus says:

    “….it makes them look like morons.”

    I think we already know what they are Guido. By their actions…

    Any more reports of keyboard hacking? No, I didn’t think there would be.

  19. 19
    Martin Day says:

    Conservatism Is a Scam

  20. 20
    50 Calibre says:

    Silly bitch…

  21. 21
    twittertwatters says:

    It’s another way of dropping yourself in the sheet when you’re pished.

  22. 22
    Hugh Janus says:

    It’s for self-important little people who think we have the slightest interest in what they are doing at any given moment of the day. Utterly dreadful.

  23. 23
    Steve Expat says:

    Is there anyone out there who doesn’t think that Harman and Duncan are a pair of stupid fuckwits desparate to appear ‘cool’?

  24. 24
    50 Calibre says:

    nobody really knows, you know…

  25. 25
    Ole Demon Eyes says:

    She is probably hunting for the red slippers as we write…….

  26. 26
    Doc Trough says:

    I should imagine that a muffled tweet is what passes for a thundering orgasm in the Dromey household. Must be like table-ending Nefertiti – in her current state.

  27. 27
    Steve Expat says:

    If she can’t use Twatter then no-one can.

  28. 28
    Hugh Janus says:

    Harperson is to IT what McBust is to shrewd financial management.

  29. 29
    Steve Expat says:

    Certainly looks like she got hit by something

  30. 30
    Hugh Janus says:

    This is the stuff of nightmares. Kindly desist.

  31. 31
    Hugh Janus says:

    The current version is, certainly.

  32. 32
    Gentleman Johnny says:

    For a moment Cameron spoke candidly and said too much tweeting made one a twat. I take it that most of our dear political elite are ardent followers of the twitter

  33. 33
    Stepney says:

    Some famous Harman tweets:

    “Am not happy Debretts has drpped me. Don’t they knw who I am?”

    “Just seen new waiter in HoC t room. Phwoar. Nice buns”

    “Fuck, Think I hit it. Shit. Wng mrror has come off Coppers coming. Will txt latr”

  34. 34
    DisgustedOfMitcham2 says:

    It’s a way of telling the world that you had a cheese sandwich for lunch. Why that is a good thing, I couldn’t tell you.

  35. 35
    Doc Trough says:

    Should have taken some professional advice:


  36. 36
    Lord Jack of Grunwick says:

    How dare you suggest I sleep with my wife. What do you take me for?.

  37. 37
    You Can Teach An Old Dog New Tricks says:

    There are plenty of night classes – sorry “Adult Community Learning Courses” – available for a modest fee. Maybe some of these MPs should think about enrolling in a course on ‘Computers for Absolute Beginners’, ‘Introduction to Internet and Email’, or similar

  38. 38
    doom head says:

    read nick cohen-mcdoom is a class a loon

  39. 39
    Mandy's Right Hand Man says:

    Twitter accounts generally aren’t ‘hacked’ in the way the BBC piece suggests. Websites promising hundreds of followers harvest username and passwords from people dumb enough to hand over their details. My money is on HH having signed up to one of these to boost her followers….

  40. 40
    Cyco Billy says:

    Working on fixing that £178 billion deficit? You mean like working on fixing that banking liquidity crisis? Which didn’t really mean much work at all, seeing as some City wide boys at Standard Chartered just happened to have made one earlier and all they had to do was wheel around to the Treasury and let the rabbit pop out of the hat. McRuin and his Darling (especially his Darling, who could barely contain his panic up to that point) were so delighted that someone had thought all about this beforehand that they could hardly look a gilt horse in the mouth, especially as their overweening sense of entitlement had long ago crippled any capacity to think for themselves and resulted in permanent infantile regression 24/7. And so it was that the money well was put into operation (the rest is history) and they all went to bed, and lived happily ever after in cloud Lalaland, dreaming fixatedly of imagined tory perverts, which would be merely their subconsciouses telling truth to power, there being no other connection remaining with reality, political, ecognomic or otherwise.

    The hoons will be working on fixing the £178bn deficit just as soon as their pals in the City wheel in the solution. No prizes for guessing who will be paying.

    So when does the wild rumpus begin?

  41. 41
    Harridan Hardperson says:

    Hi voters! I’ll be standing for Labour leader in 10 weeks after Gordon leaves us fucked at the election. I’d welcome your support!

  42. 42
    Carry On Don't Lose Your Head (1967) says:

    If you’re an MP, it’s a way of showing the world what a tosser you actually are.

  43. 43
    Susie says:

    Oh dear, the Telegraph’s fashion writers have been at the magic powder again… Just read this report covering the McQueen funeral…


    “Ms Campbell was one of the last mourners to leave the church wearing a severed hat, black gloves and a jacket with oversize shoulder pads.”

  44. 44
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Its what you do when you have absolutely fuck-all-else to do !

    Thats why the cabinet spend all their time sending childish messages about fuckall.

    Oh and Sarah-Lesbo-Brown sending messages about baking fucking cakes !

  45. 45
    Cyco Billy says:

    Caption competition.

    Harriet Hamster: “Damn, I forget to blow Union Jack. That’s why it was at half-mast this morning”.

  46. 46
    jgm2 says:

    How about ‘Basic Maths’

  47. 47
    Tubby Tiger says:

    Hello Martin, are you not in the gay chatroom anymore? It is me your Tubby Tiger! Grrowww l. X

  48. 48
    jgm2 says:

    Brain-freeze. But without the ice-cream.

  49. 49
    Steve Expat says:

    Fuck off back to your own little world, the one where the white single home-owning Christian man is the most discriminated person in the country.

    Equality my arse.

  50. 50
    Anonymous says:

    ‘Computers for Absolute Beginners’? Nope, too high a level. They need the ‘Computers for Thick Thieving Fuckers’ course.

    Perhaps they can claim it on expenses.

  51. 51
    john miller says:

    I’ve emailed Harriet loads of times and never even received an auto acknowledge.

    Na na na not listening….

  52. 52
    Kim Novak says:

    Saw Harperson’s limo leaving Downing Street the other night. Surprised that her not very subtle personalised numberplate was HH40W

  53. 53
    Susie says:

    And another…

    ‘Assisted suicide: Debbie Purdy welcomes new guidelines
    Debbie Purdy, the woman whose legal case led to the new guidelines on assisted suicide has said the change will allow her to get on with her life.’


  54. 54

    Fuck off c­u­nt, or I’ll bitchslap you like a number ten secretary.

  55. 55
    Carry On Don't Lose Your Head (1967) says:

    These people are idiots. It’s incredible they have the nerve to stand for election or pretend they are running the country effectively once in government. Could we have a full medical of all prospective parliamentary candidates along with a psychological evaluation and IQ test? We need to ensure all psychos and Prezzers are rejected for the public good.

  56. 56
  57. 57
    temper tantrum at bedtime says:

    Bullyboy Brown is just a big spoiled baby really:

    “Gordon Brown repeatedly shouted at Tony Blair “you ruined my life” in a showdown that led to the former Prime Minister leaving 10 Downing Street, it was claimed last night.

    Mr Blair described the confrontation to aides later as “ghastly” and “terrible”

    “In a two-hour showdown in September 2006, Mr Brown demanded that Mr Blair set a date when he would stand aside, and fix it so that no one stood against the Chancellor at the time, according to Mr Rawnsley’s book The End of the Party, which has put the Prime Minister’s temperament centre-stage for the past few days.

    “Who do you think is better than me? Do you think there is anyone who is better than me?” it quotes Mr Brown as saying, before dismissing potential rivals. John Reid was “far too right-wing”, he said, Alan Johnson was “a lightweight” and David Miliband was much too young.”


  58. 58
    Our 'azel Blears says:

    I’m going to slap the bitch ‘arman.

  59. 59
    KN says:

    There are at least 7 psychopaths at the top of the Labour Party or working for them:

    Brown, Balls, Mandelson, Draper, Byrne, McBride, Whelan, Campbell.

    Sorry, that’s eight.

  60. 60
    Doc Trough says:

    I’m torn between a David Nixon or Heinz Wolff lookalike.

  61. 61
    Demetrius says:

    But they are down with the kids, they always have been. They never grew up and never want to grow up.

  62. 62
    jgm2 says:


    Potentially damning news tomorrow for all those blow-hard Labour jackasses and their ‘sustaining the recovery’ bullshit…


    Won’t that be something? 300bn squandered and still not out of recession (although let us be honest 0.1% was only ever a rounding error).

    And can you guess what the story will be if it turns out we are -0.3 on the fourth quarter? Yeah. It would be worse under the Tories.

    I wonder how long the recession would have to last before the Maximum Imbecile conceded that just borrowing more money to keep public employees in the manner to which they had become accustomed was, after all, counter-productive.

  63. 63
    jgm2 says:

    That certainly explains their economic performance.

  64. 64
    Jethro says:

    …well, sham, certainly – and by that I do not mean Champagne!

  65. 65
    Jethro-the-Pedant/Peasant says:

    Sorry, S.E., but it’s ‘desperate’ – comes from the Latin, spero, I hope; despero, I give up.
    I went to a Grammar School, you know!

  66. 66
    Tom FD says:

    Didn’t David Wright claim his Twitter was “hacked”? Didn’t Derek Draper claim his emails were “hacked into”? Didn’t Harriet Harman claim her web site was “hacked”? (Actually that last one was, simply by typing her username and password into the admin page, “Harriet” and “harman”!)

  67. 67
    Call me Infidel says:

    it makes them look like morons

    Something many of us have been aware of for some time. The standard of politicians continues to plumb new depths. Yet still 30% of those who can be bothered to drag themselves to a polling station would give them another go.

  68. 68
    MacAdder of MacAdder says:

    Is there any truth in the rumour that a new social networking service especially for politico’s is under dvelopment? I understand it’s going to be called Twatter.

  69. 69
    Tachybaptus says:

    Well, at least it wasn’t a severed head.

  70. 70
    Jethro says:

    Loons are pleasant, loons are amenable (“Come on, now, Denzil, time to take your sweeties…”), loons are positive(‘Iss a lovely day, Mr. Jethro, idn’ it!’ ‘Yes, Char., jest get in before we get soaked both!’), loons are good. But this is Mr. Hairy-palmed Hyde we’re talking about, Mr. Changeling, Mr. Incubus, Gordon the Ripper. This is a Broadmoor candidate, a Marquis de Sade de nos jours, a Beria, a Himmler, a Pol Pot.

  71. 71
    Jethro says:

    Do you want underwired, or lightly-boned?

  72. 72
    Mad as hell and won't take it any more says:

    You missed English

  73. 73
    Jethro says:

    Mine’s WD40 – no, make that a double!

  74. 74
    Jethro says:

    Well exactly, I mean who’s going to arrange for the tasteful photo-illustrated articles ‘chronicling’ her last days/hours/moments? Who’s going to shoulder the responsibility of ensuring that ‘I did it my way’ always accompanies any commercial use of those pictures? Who’s going to ensure that the right people get custody of all this kitsch?
    Who? Never heard of him. Max what?

  75. 75
    The Bible says:

    Then Athaliah rent her clothes, and said, Treason, Treason. (2 Chronicles 23:13)

  76. 76
    Minekiller says:

    No it’s called “Fuckwitter”

  77. 77
    Tachybaptus says:

    Loons are elegant, and excellent parents: http://tinyurl.com/yghfl8v

  78. 78

    […] **Update** Seems the Leader of the House thinks she was hacked. […]

  79. 79
  80. 80
    PD77 says:

    Don’t give them an idea like that, it’s basd enough already.

  81. 81
    Moss Bros says:

    They rent their clothes from me.

  82. 82
    PD77 says:

    Bad not basd, sorry ’bout that.

  83. 83
    Barnabas Scudamore says:

    I couldn’t agree Guido !

    MP’s have no NEED, to be on twitter.

    They might like to be on twitter.

    They may think it’s cool to be on twitter.

    They might think its “keeping up with technology” to be on twitter.

    And as for claiming your account has been “hacked”, good god, they’ll be claiming the earth is flat or the moon is actually made of cheese !

  84. 84
    Jethro says:

    ‘Come on, Doris: it’s time to go.
    I’ve been, I’ve been!
    No, Doris, it’s time to go and vote! You remember, that nice Mr. Churchill – or was it that nice Mr. Lloyd-Dragon or something, or was it … not Lord Kitchener!…No: I know who: it was Lord Salisbury. Either that, or it was Mr. Gladstone. Anyway, it was one of ‘em, whoever: gave us the right to vote! So you and me, Doris, are going to do just that: we’re going to toddle off to the Polling Station (it’s only a few hundred yards, mostly level.)
    Who’re you votin’ for, then?
    Mr. Gladstone – or it might have been Disraeli – made it a secret Ballot: just to stop people threatening and intimidating people. I won’t even tell you, Doris, and you won’t tell me.’
    ‘What d’you mean, I’ve already voted? I haven’t put a toe, let alone a foot, in here…?’
    No, John, but your postal votes have already been registered…
    Postal vote? But we live here?
    Yes, John, but if you’re incapacitated, and not easily able to come to the Polling Station…
    Well, I come here all right: here I am, and I’ve got my Voting Card in my hand – and Doris has got hers, haven’t you?
    No: I gave it an ever-so nice young man, who said he’d take all the pain out of the paperwork – and save us the trek up to the Station: gave him yours too, ’cause I know how breathless you get… …’

  85. 85
    Susie says:

    Now there’s a surprise… knowing McQueen’s penchant for the macabre (and just plain hideous) with his skulls and dead bats etc.

  86. 86
    Susie says:

    Ten… Straw’s pretty bonkers too, as well as the menopausal Harriet.

  87. 87
    Barnabas Scudamore says:

    My typing is getting worse !

    I meant to say, I couldn’t agree more Guido!

  88. 88
    Susie says:

    Would that be that Ugandan yellow cake recipe Campbell gave her from his dodgy dossier?


  89. 89
    Phoney Bliar says:

    Mine’s WMD45

  90. 90
    PD77 says:

    At least you didn’t say you were hacked ;).

  91. 91
    Mr Ned says:

    And heterosexual.

  92. 92
    Unsworth says:

    Apparently it’s curable now. See your GP for a referral.

  93. 93
    Blackadder2 says:

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    If you can’t manage to do this yourself, our Direct Labour organisation will be happy to assist, in line with the new guidelines issued today by the DPP over the Suicide Act 1961, focusing on the motives of the aider, we do care about you and we would only help you top yourself if we thought we were being kind, which we are.

    If you have any queries, please call our automated switchboard and dial extension 666 and ask for our Change Management department.

    Yours Faithfully,

    Your Caring Council

    Your Council, Equality or Death!

  94. 94
    Cheese Sanwich says:

    Agree, it’s fucking demented!

    Could do with some pickle tho.

  95. 95
    Cheese Sanwich says:

    What sort of cheese was that?

  96. 96
    Cheese Sanwich says:

    No, it’s not, I’ve been to the dark side and you can’t make a proper sandwich there.

  97. 97
    Iain m says:

    The BBC last night spent the first 13 mins on the staffs nhs row and the 3 mins on darling/ brown yet sky headlined brown darling. Tonight farage gets taken apart on q/t but hain is allowed to minimise and downplay darling tearing brown apart. BBC is corrupt and labour biased. How does fucking brown get away with this obvious hypocracy it’s unbelievable, we were denied a referendum and brown lied and it just goes on and on, blatant split in government in full public view brown puts on an act with darling (who was clearly embarrased by browns chewing up To him) in full view even cameron says any closer they’d be kissing yet he gets away with it. Hopefully the polls will confirm brown drifting away!

  98. 98

    […] you?” followed by a web link. The link didn’t seem to take me anywhere. And then I read this on […]

  99. 99
    Jonas Savimbi says:

    Is that the same J. Dromey who – when the Marxist MPLA government in Angola was torturing and executing British citizens – hurried over to give his full backing and support? To the Marxists, of course.

  100. 100
    Funambulist says:

    Just a big soiled baby really.

  101. 101
    Sally Down The Alley says:

    That’s me!
    Still, I’m sure that those dirty, oiky, little working class peeps, will never find out, that I actually rather enjoy taking the wee wee out of them.
    I’m true liebour, don’t ya know!

  102. 102
    Sally Down The Alley says:

    Twits and husbands. Oh hang on, that’s the same thing, isn’t it?

  103. 103
    Mandlebum says:

    think you need tablets not sweeties jethro !

  104. 104
    witless says:

    didn’t realise alistair’s wife was there

  105. 105
    Biffo says:

    Sounds like a Little Britain confrontation between Sebastian & the PM!

  106. 106
    REEVO says:

    AaaaH! but you fail to understand Guido, current M P’s let alone government are in the main, useless.

    The current crop are, “muddlers” everything they touch turns to poo, because they “are” poo, (poo in, poo out) so knowing this they busy themselves tyre kicking and/or blaming somebody else for their constant stream of fuck ups

    Harman is your standard retard Politician!

  107. 107
    Gobshite says:

    And he could lend her some of his make up.

  108. 108
    Gobshite says:

    She looks like a villain from a Scooby Doo episode.

  109. 109
    Gobshite says:

    Any other Bond villains we need to know about, besides Scaramanga?

    Lord Paul looks suspiciously like one.

    And Goldfinger has stolen all our gold!

  110. 110
    Hugh Janus says:

    A touch of the prematures, try to hold on until the comp actually appears.

  111. 111
    Special delivery for miss Harman says:


  112. 112
    Lynne Truss says:

    “Separate” comes from the Latin “separare” but that doesn’t stop millions of fuckwits spelling it “seperate”.

  113. 113
    Exile Brown now! says:

    …with savings. And a pension.

  114. 114
    Goldfish says:

    And that orange twat. Can’t remember his name.

  115. 115
    Goldfish says:

    Hain. Useless tosser.

  116. 116
    Airey Belvoir says:

    Waist measurement.

  117. 117
    GREMLIN2 says:

    Yep that sounds about right!

  118. 118
    Francis 'Mad Frankie' Howerd says:

    It’s all because we don’t have open vowels like the Italians.

    I said ‘vowels’, missus. Oh, please yourselves.

  119. 119

    Social comments and analytics for this post…

    This post was mentioned on Twitter by mariogreat: MG Self-Harman http://bit.ly/axEmdj

  120. 120
    Do you look stupid? says:

    Hi, I’m Dave Cameron. Vote for me. I care about Change.

  121. 121
    Uncle Vanya de Caesromagus in the Land of East Angular, now part of EUrine-Land says:

    One sees that Hapless Hariette Harperson’s Hubbie Jack Dromey has been successfully parachuted in as a Liarbore candidate for the Gen Election by the NEC of ZaNu-Lab. Some of the local Liarbore Party members were not too happpy about this….

    Just like the way Pa McBalloon was parachuted into his Kirkarldy constituency by the Old Time Marxists of the Old Liarbore Party. ‘More of the Same’….. mind you it’s likely that the Party faithful, the daft, naive and brain dead of Birmingham, Erdington will vote for him…. Lets hope that the other local votors vote for another party…. the Limp-Dicks maybe…!!!

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Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”

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