February 25th, 2010

Self-Harman

For all their talk of engaging online and being so technically advanced, sometimes politicians painfully show just how of touch they really are. Most Twitter users at some point in the last week would have received a message from one of their followers or friends that said “haha is this you?” with a link. Classic spammer trick, it then spreads to all your followers. Harriet Harman has gone into full hysterical mode claiming in the House of Commons that her account had been “hacked” when Alan Duncan, a new gaffe-potential convert to the Twitterati, replied to what he thought was a genuine message from his old sparring partner. Far from Twitter proving this lot are in touch, more often than not it makes them look like morons. Perhaps it would be a more appropriate use of MPs time to be working on fixing that £178 billion deficit rather than messing around trying to look like they are down with the kids.


118 Comments

  1. 1
    Paul B says:

    As is very often the case – a link to the story would be great. I and many others would much appreciate it. Would make this blog so much better if there were links. Damn shame.

    Like

    • 120
      Do you look stupid? says:

      Hi, I’m Dave Cameron. Vote for me. I care about Change.

      Like

    • 121
      Uncle Vanya de Caesromagus in the Land of East Angular, now part of EUrine-Land says:

      One sees that Hapless Hariette Harperson’s Hubbie Jack Dromey has been successfully parachuted in as a Liarbore candidate for the Gen Election by the NEC of ZaNu-Lab. Some of the local Liarbore Party members were not too happpy about this….

      Just like the way Pa McBalloon was parachuted into his Kirkarldy constituency by the Old Time Marxists of the Old Liarbore Party. ‘More of the Same’….. mind you it’s likely that the Party faithful, the daft, naive and brain dead of Birmingham, Erdington will vote for him…. Lets hope that the other local votors vote for another party…. the Limp-Dicks maybe…!!!

      Like

  2. 2
    RantinRab says:

    Fuckwits, one and all.

    Like

  3. 3
    Dack Blog says:

    Great header.

    Like

  4. 5
    Dack Blog says:

    Is she nursing a Nokia injury?

    Like

  5. 6
    BROWNED OFF says:

    Just read Nick Cohen’s piece. Excellent recommendation Guido.

    Like

  6. 7
    George Osborne says:

    Lady Gaga should just lend David Cameron her balls….

    Like

  7. 8
    doom head says:

    what a moose

    Like

  8. 9
    SOACFOAD says:

    270,000 civil servants due to strike, BBC webiste lead news story – Bridge turns back on England – Fucking Beeb.

    Like

  9. 10
    MadArthur says:

    Anyone over 5 years of age using twittering or what ever ought to be shot. Alternatively, they could be the next PM

    Like

  10. 11
    Lomax says:

    If anyone here understands Twitter, please explain the post to me. Thankyou.

    p.s. WTF is it?

    Like

  11. 12
    ozzie bird says:

    Any truth in the rumour that Malcolm ‘Three nipples’Powers[S.E Labor]is still trying to get signed up to any leadership bid endorsed by H.H.?Previously he was given the knock-back on account of the bad publicity that had attatched to his name following reports about his vile habit of showing off his ‘three nipples’..[hence the nickname-for those not at the cutting edge of pre-election politics.]

    Like

    • 109
      Gobshite says:

      Any other Bond villains we need to know about, besides Scaramanga?

      Lord Paul looks suspiciously like one.

      And Goldfinger has stolen all our gold!

      Like

  12. 13
    Regime Change (Bring it On) says:

    Perhaps the dreaded Harm Man will now bring out new Equality Legislation for Twits.

    Like

  13. 14
    poppicker says:

    No more than in the rumour that Powers is Lady Gaga’s sister…

    Like

  14. 15
    Jac says:

    What a bloody surprise. Harriet Hapless does it again :)

    Like

  15. 16
    Anonymous says:

    I should imagine that a muffled tweet is what passes for a thundering orgasm in the D

    Like

  16. 18
    Hugh Janus says:

    “….it makes them look like morons.”

    I think we already know what they are Guido. By their actions…

    Any more reports of keyboard hacking? No, I didn’t think there would be.

    Like

  17. 20
    50 Calibre says:

    Silly bitch…

    Like

  18. 23
    Steve Expat says:

    Is there anyone out there who doesn’t think that Harman and Duncan are a pair of stupid fuckwits desparate to appear ‘cool’?

    Like

    • 65
      Jethro-the-Pedant/Peasant says:

      Sorry, S.E., but it’s ‘desperate’ – comes from the Latin, spero, I hope; despero, I give up.
      I went to a Grammar School, you know!

      Like

      • 92
        Unsworth says:

        Apparently it’s curable now. See your GP for a referral.

        Like

      • 112
        Lynne Truss says:

        “Separate” comes from the Latin “separare” but that doesn’t stop millions of fuckwits spelling it “seperate”.

        Like

        • 118
          Francis 'Mad Frankie' Howerd says:

          It’s all because we don’t have open vowels like the Italians.

          I said ‘vowels’, missus. Oh, please yourselves.

          Like

  19. 26
    Doc Trough says:

    I should imagine that a muffled tweet is what passes for a thundering orgasm in the Dromey household. Must be like table-ending Nefertiti – in her current state.

    Like

  20. 28
    Hugh Janus says:

    Harperson is to IT what McBust is to shrewd financial management.

    Like

  21. 32
    Gentleman Johnny says:

    For a moment Cameron spoke candidly and said too much tweeting made one a twat. I take it that most of our dear political elite are ardent followers of the twitter

    Like

  22. 33
    Stepney says:

    Some famous Harman tweets:

    “Am not happy Debretts has drpped me. Don’t they knw who I am?”

    “Just seen new waiter in HoC t room. Phwoar. Nice buns”

    “Fuck, Think I hit it. Shit. Wng mrror has come off Coppers coming. Will txt latr”

    Like

  23. 35
    Doc Trough says:

    Should have taken some professional advice:

    http://www.tom-watson.co.uk/teens/

    Like

  24. 38
    doom head says:

    read nick cohen-mcdoom is a class a loon

    Like

    • 70
      Jethro says:

      NO!
      Loons are pleasant, loons are amenable (“Come on, now, Denzil, time to take your sweeties…”), loons are positive(‘Iss a lovely day, Mr. Jethro, idn’ it!’ ‘Yes, Char., jest get in before we get soaked both!’), loons are good. But this is Mr. Hairy-palmed Hyde we’re talking about, Mr. Changeling, Mr. Incubus, Gordon the Ripper. This is a Broadmoor candidate, a Marquis de Sade de nos jours, a Beria, a Himmler, a Pol Pot.

      Like

  25. 39
    Mandy's Right Hand Man says:

    Twitter accounts generally aren’t ‘hacked’ in the way the BBC piece suggests. Websites promising hundreds of followers harvest username and passwords from people dumb enough to hand over their details. My money is on HH having signed up to one of these to boost her followers….

    Like

  26. 40
    Cyco Billy says:

    Working on fixing that £178 billion deficit? You mean like working on fixing that banking liquidity crisis? Which didn’t really mean much work at all, seeing as some City wide boys at Standard Chartered just happened to have made one earlier and all they had to do was wheel around to the Treasury and let the rabbit pop out of the hat. McRuin and his Darling (especially his Darling, who could barely contain his panic up to that point) were so delighted that someone had thought all about this beforehand that they could hardly look a gilt horse in the mouth, especially as their overweening sense of entitlement had long ago crippled any capacity to think for themselves and resulted in permanent infantile regression 24/7. And so it was that the money well was put into operation (the rest is history) and they all went to bed, and lived happily ever after in cloud Lalaland, dreaming fixatedly of imagined tory perverts, which would be merely their subconsciouses telling truth to power, there being no other connection remaining with reality, political, ecognomic or otherwise.

    The hoons will be working on fixing the £178bn deficit just as soon as their pals in the City wheel in the solution. No prizes for guessing who will be paying.

    So when does the wild rumpus begin?

    Like

  27. 41
    Harridan Hardperson says:

    Hi voters! I’ll be standing for Labour leader in 10 weeks after Gordon leaves us fucked at the election. I’d welcome your support!

    Like

  28. 43
    Susie says:

    Oh dear, the Telegraph’s fashion writers have been at the magic powder again… Just read this report covering the McQueen funeral…

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/fashion/fashionnews/7317114/Alexander-McQueen-funeral-fashion-world-bids-farewell-to-designer.html

    “Ms Campbell was one of the last mourners to leave the church wearing a severed hat, black gloves and a jacket with oversize shoulder pads.”

    Like

  29. 45
    Cyco Billy says:

    Caption competition.

    Harriet Hamster: “Damn, I forget to blow Union Jack. That’s why it was at half-mast this morning”.

    Like

  30. 47
    Tubby Tiger says:

    Hello Martin, are you not in the gay chatroom anymore? It is me your Tubby Tiger! Grrowww l. X

    Like

  31. 51
    john miller says:

    I’ve emailed Harriet loads of times and never even received an auto acknowledge.

    Na na na not listening….

    Like

  32. 52
    Kim Novak says:

    Saw Harperson’s limo leaving Downing Street the other night. Surprised that her not very subtle personalised numberplate was HH40W

    Like

  33. 53
    Susie says:

    And another…

    ‘Assisted suicide: Debbie Purdy welcomes new guidelines
    Debbie Purdy, the woman whose legal case led to the new guidelines on assisted suicide has said the change will allow her to get on with her life.’

    Eh???

    Like

    • 74
      Jethro says:

      Well exactly, I mean who’s going to arrange for the tasteful photo-illustrated articles ‘chronicling’ her last days/hours/moments? Who’s going to shoulder the responsibility of ensuring that ‘I did it my way’ always accompanies any commercial use of those pictures? Who’s going to ensure that the right people get custody of all this kitsch?
      Who? Never heard of him. Max what?

      Like

  34. 55
    Carry On Don't Lose Your Head (1967) says:

    These people are idiots. It’s incredible they have the nerve to stand for election or pretend they are running the country effectively once in government. Could we have a full medical of all prospective parliamentary candidates along with a psychological evaluation and IQ test? We need to ensure all psychos and Prezzers are rejected for the public good.

    Like

  35. 57
    temper tantrum at bedtime says:

    Bullyboy Brown is just a big spoiled baby really:

    “Gordon Brown repeatedly shouted at Tony Blair “you ruined my life” in a showdown that led to the former Prime Minister leaving 10 Downing Street, it was claimed last night.

    Mr Blair described the confrontation to aides later as “ghastly” and “terrible”

    “In a two-hour showdown in September 2006, Mr Brown demanded that Mr Blair set a date when he would stand aside, and fix it so that no one stood against the Chancellor at the time, according to Mr Rawnsley’s book The End of the Party, which has put the Prime Minister’s temperament centre-stage for the past few days.

    “Who do you think is better than me? Do you think there is anyone who is better than me?” it quotes Mr Brown as saying, before dismissing potential rivals. John Reid was “far too right-wing”, he said, Alan Johnson was “a lightweight” and David Miliband was much too young.”

    http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/politics/article7040041.ece

    Like

  36. 58
    Our 'azel Blears says:

    I’m going to slap the bitch ‘arman.

    Like

  37. 61
    Demetrius says:

    But they are down with the kids, they always have been. They never grew up and never want to grow up.

    Like

  38. 62
    jgm2 says:

    OT

    Potentially damning news tomorrow for all those blow-hard Labour jackasses and their ‘sustaining the recovery’ bullshit…

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2010/feb/25/uk-could-still-be-in-recession

    Won’t that be something? 300bn squandered and still not out of recession (although let us be honest 0.1% was only ever a rounding error).

    And can you guess what the story will be if it turns out we are -0.3 on the fourth quarter? Yeah. It would be worse under the Tories.

    I wonder how long the recession would have to last before the Maximum Imbecile conceded that just borrowing more money to keep public employees in the manner to which they had become accustomed was, after all, counter-productive.

    Like

  39. 66
    Tom FD says:

    Didn’t David Wright claim his Twitter was “hacked”? Didn’t Derek Draper claim his emails were “hacked into”? Didn’t Harriet Harman claim her web site was “hacked”? (Actually that last one was, simply by typing her username and password into the admin page, “Harriet” and “harman”!)

    Like

  40. 67
    Call me Infidel says:

    it makes them look like morons

    Something many of us have been aware of for some time. The standard of politicians continues to plumb new depths. Yet still 30% of those who can be bothered to drag themselves to a polling station would give them another go.

    Like

    • 84
      Jethro says:

      ‘Come on, Doris: it’s time to go.
      I’ve been, I’ve been!
      No, Doris, it’s time to go and vote! You remember, that nice Mr. Churchill – or was it that nice Mr. Lloyd-Dragon or something, or was it … not Lord Kitchener!…No: I know who: it was Lord Salisbury. Either that, or it was Mr. Gladstone. Anyway, it was one of ‘em, whoever: gave us the right to vote! So you and me, Doris, are going to do just that: we’re going to toddle off to the Polling Station (it’s only a few hundred yards, mostly level.)
      Who’re you votin’ for, then?
      Mr. Gladstone – or it might have been Disraeli – made it a secret Ballot: just to stop people threatening and intimidating people. I won’t even tell you, Doris, and you won’t tell me.’
      ‘What d’you mean, I’ve already voted? I haven’t put a toe, let alone a foot, in here…?’
      No, John, but your postal votes have already been registered…
      Postal vote? But we live here?
      Yes, John, but if you’re incapacitated, and not easily able to come to the Polling Station…
      Well, I come here all right: here I am, and I’ve got my Voting Card in my hand – and Doris has got hers, haven’t you?
      No: I gave it an ever-so nice young man, who said he’d take all the pain out of the paperwork – and save us the trek up to the Station: gave him yours too, ’cause I know how breathless you get… …’

      Like

  41. 68
    MacAdder of MacAdder says:

    Is there any truth in the rumour that a new social networking service especially for politico’s is under dvelopment? I understand it’s going to be called Twatter.

    Like

  42. 78

    […] **Update** Seems the Leader of the House thinks she was hacked. […]

    Like

  43. 79
  44. 83
    Barnabas Scudamore says:

    I couldn’t agree Guido !

    MP’s have no NEED, to be on twitter.

    They might like to be on twitter.

    They may think it’s cool to be on twitter.

    They might think its “keeping up with technology” to be on twitter.

    And as for claiming your account has been “hacked”, good god, they’ll be claiming the earth is flat or the moon is actually made of cheese !

    Like

  45. 93
    Blackadder2 says:

    A message from your Council

    Dear Service User,

    As we hope you know, we at your local council are committed to providing the best service possible to our customers and users. We are committed to providing our services in a fair, equitable and non-discriminatory manner, and provide services equally on the basis of need, without discriminating on the grounds of race, sex, disability, age, sexual orientation, or religion (including belief or non-belief in Anthropogenic Global Warming). We strive to ensure that your human rights are protected, and that we comply with our statutory obligations under the Human Rights Act and the Equality Bill, which we are committed to welcoming and following, even if it is not actually law yet. We also wish to protect the Environment from the numerous risks that life presents, and to ensure your Health, Safety and Welfare.

    We also want you to know that we are compassionate in our provision of services, and we care about you and all our users.

    With a view to ensuring non-discrimination in the provision of services, we have decided to supply you with a free low-carbon plastic bag and seal, with a view to achieving a reduction in carbon emissions from your household, to protect the environment and preserve the Earth for future generations.

    We would be grateful if you would place the aforementioned bag over your head and seal it (don’t worry, it’s photo-sensitive and bio-degradeable, like you) and keep on breathing in the same air. This reduction in your oxygen supply and re-cycling of dangerous CO2 emissions will help the Environment, acidify your blood, and help us reach our targets for filling abandoned properties with possible Labour voters in a possible marginal seat at the next Election, using our new powers to seize empty properties for the public good.

    If you can’t manage to do this yourself, our Direct Labour organisation will be happy to assist, in line with the new guidelines issued today by the DPP over the Suicide Act 1961, focusing on the motives of the aider, we do care about you and we would only help you top yourself if we thought we were being kind, which we are.

    If you have any queries, please call our automated switchboard and dial extension 666 and ask for our Change Management department.

    Yours Faithfully,

    Your Caring Council

    Your Council, Equality or Death!

    Like

  46. 97
    Iain m says:

    The BBC last night spent the first 13 mins on the staffs nhs row and the 3 mins on darling/ brown yet sky headlined brown darling. Tonight farage gets taken apart on q/t but hain is allowed to minimise and downplay darling tearing brown apart. BBC is corrupt and labour biased. How does fucking brown get away with this obvious hypocracy it’s unbelievable, we were denied a referendum and brown lied and it just goes on and on, blatant split in government in full public view brown puts on an act with darling (who was clearly embarrased by browns chewing up To him) in full view even cameron says any closer they’d be kissing yet he gets away with it. Hopefully the polls will confirm brown drifting away!

    Like

  47. 98

    […] you?” followed by a web link. The link didn’t seem to take me anywhere. And then I read this on […]

    Like

  48. 106
    REEVO says:

    AaaaH! but you fail to understand Guido, current M P’s let alone government are in the main, useless.

    The current crop are, “muddlers” everything they touch turns to poo, because they “are” poo, (poo in, poo out) so knowing this they busy themselves tyre kicking and/or blaming somebody else for their constant stream of fuck ups

    Harman is your standard retard Politician!

    Like

  49. 111
    Special delivery for miss Harman says:

    Shaddup

    Like

  50. 119

    Social comments and analytics for this post…

    This post was mentioned on Twitter by mariogreat: MG Self-Harman http://bit.ly/axEmdj

    Like


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