Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View
Another Twittish Tweet from Kerry McCarthy | BBC
What’s the Point of Our Anti-Business Secretary? | Ruth Porter
HuffPo Hiring Pro-Iranian Mehdi “Act of Desperation” | Fox News
Krugman is Seductive, Simplistic and Unrealistic | Jeremy Warner
Lower Taxes, Higher Growth, the Statistical Evidence | CPS
Bash the Unions, Gatecrash the Quangos | ConservativeHome
I Told You So: Euro is Doomed | Douglas Carswell
PM Speaks for the Nation When Bashing Balls | Quentin Letts
Time for an Alliance | Dan Hannan
Farage’s Plan | ConservativeHome
Guardian Open News is a Failure | Heather Brooke
Balls Calls for Deeper Cuts | Speccie
Lessons from the Thirties | CPS
PMQs Idiots | Harry Cole
Jon Cruddas is Not the Messiah | Dan Hodges
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Lord Lamont told ITV News…
“I think the PM is just human and Ed Balls is a pretty irritating person”
Looks like the pot’s calling the kettle brown?
looks like Rich and Mark didn’t realise that it should have been Lord Paul to Lord Ashcroft or Brown to Cameron to make the pot calling the kettle correct
Nah, it was Osborne doing it this weekend about Lord Paul to draw attention from Ashcroft.
What kind of fucking stupid name is Lord Paul anyway?
Rather a good one I would have thought.
Apparently it takes two people to come up with this shit
Good Morning
There was this couple admiring a picture in a gallery. It depicted three, naked black men sitting on a park bench. There was a slight anomaly on the picture that had the couple staring and discussing it for ages – the men on the outside had black penises whilst the man in the middle had a pink one.
As they stood and stared they were joined by a well-dressed man in a suit who introduced himself as the curator of the gallery. “I see you’re admiring this fine piece.” He said. “Yes, it’s had us perplexed for ages now.” They replied. “You’ll be wondering about the pink penis then?” He asked. The couple nodded enthusiastically. “There are several opinions on this and if you’ll permit me I’ll go over them with you?” The couple were all ears.
“One opinion,” continued the curator, “is that the black men feel oppressed living in a white man’s world and the picture shows them repelling the white man – surrounding him with their blackness. Indeed, so powerful are their feelings, the sole white man has turned black himself. His penis is all that’s left of his whiteness.”
The curator let the couple talk about this new input until they’d dried up.
“Another opinion is that the men on the outside are gay and by crowding the man in the middle they are turning him gay also. His pink penis is all that remains of his straightness.”
The curator stayed with the couple for some time, discussing more possibilities but then excused himself as he had other things to attend to.
As the couple talked among themselves about all the new aspects of the picture, a voice from behind them said, “Would ye like tae know aboot that picture? The real facts, like?”
The woman said, “And you’d know more than the curator of course?”
The man replied, “Aye, I should, I painted it.” With that the couple asked him to explain the mystery of the picture and the pink penis.
He said, “They aren’t really black at all, they’re white – all of them. You’ll ken frae my accent I’m Scottish and we still have working mines in Scotland. Those men are miners and the one in the middle went home for his lunch.”
Tit!
don’t give up the day job.. not that they would miss you if you did
Piss poor cartoon, as per usual.
Used to be a Welsh joke…
Used to be a joke
Lord Paul doesn’t pay 20% of his parties funding in target wards thoiguh does he
Is that the kitchen we see in the background in the Cameron web videos?
329 MPs owe a total of £138,046 in bar tabs at Parliament NAME THEM
http://bit.ly/bQAbgD
Jeremy Clarkson deserves a knighthood:
Clarkson for PM!
Obviously the pot calling the kettle black but who are the pot and kettle?
Shouldn’t be an electric kettle either.
Well it looks like Osborne and Lord Paul to me. But then I’m just a thick pleb so what do I know.
Genius from Chris Morris:
VOTE LABOUR
A CONSERVATIVE VOTE IS A WASTED VOTE
ooh, hark at her!
Obviously, if you love being deeply in the Brown stuff – got to concede – a Conservative vote might not achieve your goal.
On the other hand, if you are sane, it’s a no-brainer.
Here’s our latest slogan-
“Buggering Britain’s Future”
Snappy isn’t it?
Or, in view of the figures on single parenthood, how about ‘Buggering Britain’s bastards’?
Boo hoo, I’m so human and touchy feely.
Clean my rocking horse Martin Day, before I hit you.
(boo hoo)
The Brown/Morgan interview last night highlighted the fact that Brown’s first reaction to any question is to lie.
When asked last night when he had driven a car last his initial response was to claim that “I have a driving licence but I haven’t been driving for a while” but when pressed he admitted that it was “when I was 21”.
That is nearly 40 years ago!
NEW LABOUR = “why tell the truth when a lie will do !! “
Er, no wonder this administration is so vehemently anti-Motorist.
The real question is: “Does he still have a Licence, or was it surrendered on health grounds?”
That is a fair and reasonable question.
McDevious has never been a driver. He dabbled with trying once when a student but chucked it partly because of sight problems but also because he just did not like it.
Goes along way to explain his total lack of empathy with motorists.
All he had to do was say this but as usual he spun a dishonest line.
He has spent a life taking taxis tho. for the last 13 years a driver has been provided courtesy of the taxpayer !
Now isn’t that convenient for him.
Spot on, cue election Punch and Judy show.
No amount of fresh paint over the cracks can save these
pair of yawn mongers.
Diversionary entertainment for the voter, except these days the voter knows the jokes on them!
Dont say the magic word Ash***t!!!!
A…a…a…shcroft !!! (sniff)
Sorry. Allergic reaction.
George Osborne is not fit for purpose.
He is a hoon of the highest order
” … a decimal point had been put in the wrong place ” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mr Balls said: “These are more dodgy statistics from the Tories, who will stop at nothing to talk Britain down.
“They are so out of touch with family life in Britain that they believe over half of teenage girls in the poorest areas fall pregnant.
“How low can David Cameron go? He should immediately withdraw this misleading document which is an insult to communities across our country.
Shadow chancellor George Osborne told Sky News that a decimal point had been put in the wrong place.
If you will learn to cut-and-paste properly, it is important to edit the result rather than repeating a whole sentence. It makes you look like a work-experience boy.
I do apologise,Sir.
There is a lengthy waiting list for the computer course at the prison in which I am in custody at present.
I am doing the best that I can and perhaps you can help me in my rehabilitation
hello tat
still using other posters names are we?
Ashcroft, Paul? You should have a look at Tony Blair’s tax situation. He has stated that he is out of the country 3 weeks out of four which would make him eligible for zero income tax on his overseas earnings. Have a look at that!
lets hope the book “The Ghost” keeps coming true then.
It makes me cross to see these upstarts styling themselves ‘Lord This’ and ‘Lord That’ when all they’ve done is lick the bottoms of those pols who happen to have a brief interval of power. My family received its hereditary knighthood because of centuries of service to (yes, and ownership of) our local community. Our service to the Tudor and Stuart monarchs was part of the loyalty we owed to them. We didn’t expect to be ennobled for it, nor were we.
Nowadays it seems you can buy a peerage for the price of a London flat.
125% mortgage?
Lord Beast it is
£21.95 actually, online
http://www.lordtitles.co.uk/lordship%20standard%20lord%20title%20sir%20baron%20become.html
Just checked, decimal point in thw wrong place, should be £2.19, no refunds available.
Very cheap!
I had a friend once called Martin Day – he was a fine chap – but you Sir are clearly a twat. I assume you are aged about 18 – take a tip – keep your mouth shut until you know what you are on about.
“William (HAGUE), before it is too late, ask yourself what almost busted Marks and Spencers. It was a failure to ask itself why its traditional customers had gone away, and trying instead to entice new customers who had never liked what M&S had traditionally sold. What has saved the business is getting back its former customers.”
http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/normantebbit/100025975/im-sorry-william-hague-but-your-disregard-for-lost-tory-voters-could-let-brown-back-in/
Who was Kate Garroway dining with at HIX Oyster and Chop House last night? It certainly wasn’t Derek Draper.
why was he black?
Was he light on his feet and have a perfect frame?
Why? Was he clean, well dressed & had a decent haircut? Definitely not Dez Draper then.
Was he eating with a knife and fork? Deffo not draper….
As if anyone needed telling there’s no difference between liebour and the cons.
The only thing that will change is for the first 4 years after tally ho cast iron gets to be PM you’ll be sick to death of the phrase “because of years of labour mismanagement, we have to … ” before every unpopular policy is announced. Exactly as liebour did after 1997, and in fact they only stopped saying it after they had been in power for 10 years, presumably even the slowest retard could work out the line is a bit thin after that long.
But in this case it will be true
I thought things were pretty bad after Labour was thrown out in 1979 after they “broke” the Country but it’s gonna be even worse come March/May or whatever this year. Brown and Labour have totally f***ed up the UK Economy and it will take at least 10 years to put it right and get us back to where we were pre-bust.
AND unemployment will continue to rise for the next 18 months at least as the axe starts to fall on the previously recession free public sector(whoever wins the election)with VAT absolutely certain to rise to 20% whether it be a Labour or Conservative Government and further flight of companies and investment from London if Labour should manage to hang on in power.
The next few years are going to be pretty bleak for everyone in the UK make absolutely no mistake on that be it Cameron or Brown in No10
Why only London? Companies and investment have been draining from the rest of the UK for decades. Some of us have warning of the dangers of that for nearly as long; it’s unfortunate that the situation had to get so bad before politicians of all hues started to recognise it.
The economy has to be stimulated on all fronts, especially those fronts that can generate export earnings or reduce our dependency on imports – so, financial services, manufacturing and engineering consultancy, food production, tourism – all can make a contribution. Government policy must move towards a tax system and regulatory regime that allows all those -and others – to grow in a solid and permanent way.
when Labour came into power, they inherited a healthy economy. Whoever, gets in after this lot it will literally take years and years to get us out of the hole that Labour have made. And isn’t it always the same the labour government leave the country in a total mess after they’ve had a stint of trying to govern.
so the pot is calling the kettle … err … orange?
It is an art indeed to produce cartoons every week with a chuckle factor of -10
Sponge Bob Square Pants meets Desmond Tutu ?
another crap effort from Budget cartoons inc skid @ mark !
Surely that should have bene the other way round? And an electric kettle that doesn’t get black? Good idea but a bit weak in the execution. Better look next week, guys!
But meanwhile… Brown bares his soul whilst Miliband plots against him. “Vote for me! I am the rightful Banana Man!” Yes, of course you are, Miliband!)
maybe it is the all new PC version. Cant call a kettle black, cant call a spade a spade or a harriet a harman
Often wondered who draws which bit
Whichever it is, they really shouldn’t bother.
Mark does the drawing, Rich just holds his pencil while he’s thinking.
obviously no lead in it`
And not a lot of thought either.
“you don’t want the vessel with the pestle, you want the chalice from the palace!”
This cartoon is particularly piss poor this week. Knocked up at breakfast was it?
ops sorry Cameron spouting on tv I lost my train of thought
Not impressed, then?