February 8th, 2010

Guy News : Yeo! Tory Policy Confusion, Lie Action Replay


  1. 1
    G Brown says:

    Bananas ahoy!

    This makes me rummage about in my front junk.


  2. 2
    Dack Blog says:

    I like a bit of political whiff-whaff.

  3. 3
    The Primate Minister says:

    Who hoo hhoo gives a f*ck?

  4. 4
    Sir William Waad says:

    That Guido head is distinctly scary. It reminds me of a valet I once had and gives me a sickly-sweet feeling of being groomed. I think you should leave creepy ugliness to the pols.

  5. 5
    Captain Black says:

    You are Jonathan Ross with a beard disguise and I claim my £5…!

  6. 6

    That’s odd. I had a valet that looked Tim Yeo.

  7. 7
    EU straight banana auditor says:

    I’ve heard you prefer benders.

  8. 8
    BillyBob ... reduce crime, prison numbers and the benefits black hole? Stop immigration !! says:

    poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, Tim, perhaps he will think about the consequences of his shady dealings in future…………..

    So Labour will provide one on one cancer care 24/7 ?? now that is a promise they know that they cannot provide…..

  9. 9
    Joey Joe Joe says:

    I remember Rory Bremner’s joke years ago when Yeo had knocked up some woman.
    ” To all single mothers out there, I just want to say: Yeo!”

  10. 10
    BillyBob ... reduce crime, prison numbers and the benefits black hole? Stop immigration !! says:

    Hmmmmmmm Commander Ali Dizaei, after his shower upon arrival in prison, I hope he does not have a really big sore bottom…….

    Black Police Association, now desperately trying to disassociate themselves with their ex Great Leader……….

    all, a bunch of corrupt c*nts!!!

  11. 11
    Sir William Waad says:

  12. 12
    Rivermill Resident says:

    Nothing against Di or the kids but Tim is a grasping cock. Time the voters kicked out his kind of sleaze.

  13. 13
    The Ghost of Westminster says:


    This one is a stretch and I think you will end up in court one of these days if you keep making these giant leaps.

    Its a bit strange that you think MPs who make contacts as part of their job shouldn’t ever engage with those contacts for fiscal gain at some point in the future. You meet people at one function and then do business at another. Unless the work is undeclared I really don’t see an issue unless you can prove that they created the first publicly funded/subsidised event for personal gain. Note the word PROVE.

    Of MUCH MORE concern are MPs that have basically created or helped find funding for some publicly funded quango which they then start doing consultancy for. Spending tax payers money for yet another tax payer funded job is just a farce. I know 1 Labour MP who has done this. Fancy a scoop?

  14. 14
    Mullah Yoghurt says:

    He will be claiming asylum in Iran next to flee the شيطان بزرگ

  15. 15

    ..”Just had news that all hell let loose at Yarlswood asylum detention centre, which now seems to be completely locked down, 18/20 women have been in the yard since 12:00 pm, no outdoor clothing, intermittent snow.

    About 70 women locked into one of the corridors, no open windows, sounds of distress coming over the phone. Massive police presence. Nothing on news.”……

  16. 16
    Engineer says:

    I can categorically state that I have never had a valet, in either the carnal or employment senses.

  17. 17
    Jimmy says:

    So what exactly are you accusing him of doing?

  18. 18
    BOO HOO M and BUST says:

    It seems that Ali Dizaei has already started to earn points for good behavior
    He’s only been there two hours
    and already he’s polished several prisoners “helmets “

  19. 19
    Nice But Dim Tim says:

    I usually wash the car myself

  20. 20
    BOO HOO M and BUST says:

    Torch the fucking place !

  21. 21
    Send for Brown! says:

    Send in Brown, the Jonah curse of the world.

  22. 22
    streamfisher says:

    You’ve given me no choice but to post the last episode in this sorry affair, after the Enchanter comes “well he’s not one of us, he’s not covered in shit”

  23. 23
    Martin Day says:

    lol – At least you have the bollocks to have a pop if you think there is a problem!

  24. 24
    On the buses says:

    From The Daily Mail;

    “A Muslim bus driver stunned passengers when he pulled over and started praying in the aisle – with the engine still running.

    The driver parked without warning then rolled out a fluorescent jacket as an improvised prayer mat.

    He took off his shoes, knelt down facing Mecca, and began to chant.

    The prayer session held up the bus for more than five minutes with no-one able to get on or off”.

  25. 25
    George 'Anal Beads' Osbourne says:

    Gordo’s as camp as a Tory Shadow Cabinet member

    I’m free ducky

    mwah xxx

  26. 26
    The Screaming Eagles says:

    New Times Poll out this evening:

    Tories: 43 + 3
    Labour: 27 – 3
    Lib Dems:19 N/C

  27. 27
    Brown and out says:

    There’s only poll that matters and its the one Brown is petrified of calling.

    History will recall this last 13 years as a very dark period for Britain.

    And Brown will be beaten at the poll that matters with a record swing away from Labour.

  28. 28
    BOO HOO M and BUST says:

    O/T 15,000 troops in widely advertised offensive in Afghanistan with half the British deployment taking part !
    i have a problem with just one small point The Americans are on the same mission !
    They are supplying ais support and ground troops
    i always thought we fought on seperate battlefields because the Gung Ho Johnny, trigger happy Yanks would end up killing more of our lads than the taliban
    God Help Them !

  29. 29
    Mr Ned says:

    Of course they cannot provide it, but why should they give a shit about that? They will be screaming from the rafters that the tories are not providing it and that labour would have done for the next 5 years.

  30. 30
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am man enough to make jokes about my bananas

    A banana and a vibrator were on a table. Banana says to the vibrator, ” I don’t know why the fuck you’re shaking for ?, the bitch is going to eat me !”

  31. 31
    Jonty Pryor says:

    Back to Conservative Home please, young man

  32. 32
    MingeMunchersRus says:

    I will say this once again..I did not have sexual relations with that valet…

  33. 33
    EU Dave is a communist puppet says:

  34. 34
    BOO HOO M and BUST says:

    Breaking News Ali Disaei Has just been named captain of Wormwood Scrubs naked leap frog team !

  35. 35
    BillyBob ... reduce crime, prison numbers and the benefits black hole? Stop immigration !! says:

    Exactly………………. and what I have said many times, a scorched policy ! The c*nts have had 12 years to get it right…… the f*ckers could not lie straight in bed!!

    Chris Mullin is a C8nt also !!

  36. 36
    BillyBob ... reduce crime, prison numbers and the benefits black hole? Stop immigration !! says:

    hmmmm by the end of the week he will be reinvented as Ali’s Bin Rimmin !!

  37. 37
    Jimmy says:

    It would be more convincing if you bothered to put in the correct numbers for last month.

  38. 38
    streamfisher says:

    Get a bigger scoop from an ice cream van, its common knowledge to anyone that even takes a cursory ( curse and curse again) interest in politics that this should be taken as read, all the sinecures from companies that love to have an insider M.P on board or an ex-insider (Mod contracts a speciality). This lot could clean an elephants carcass dumped in the lower waters of the Amazon quicker than a million bulimic piraña. Just my opinion you understand.

  39. 39
    charlie says:

    Guido, loved the Yeo part. One thing always bothers me with your Guidograms – the production values are shit.

    It would probably help if the others on it knew their lines. Some decent lip syncing on the animated head would be good, too. Would only take a few minutes extra and then I would enjoy watching them, instead of feeling like I’m watching someone’s GCSE coursework.

  40. 40
    Jonty Pryor (Labour Liar) esquire says:

    My trolls are lame, not enough cash in the bunker piggy bank to recruit better.


  41. 41
    anon,anon,anon.... says:


  42. 42
    JL says:

    Tim Yeo is the most odious creep in the Tory Party. Cameron should dump this spiv before he does the party any more damage.

  43. 43
    Ali Dizaei-Rascal says:

    I’ve been found guilty of misconduct. I’m a lying, corrupt, arrogant shit. Can I stand for Labour when I get released from chokey in 2 years?

  44. 44
    Ali Dizaei-Rascal says:

    Iz it coz I is Iranian?

  45. 45
    Anonymous says:

    Also he wants Cameron to bite “We can’t afford” it and Gordo will look like a hero.

  46. 46
    Al says:

    Jimmy, you tool. You get bitchslapped most times you appear here. You must like it.

  47. 47
    Abu Bonanza says:

    We are most upsets at the unholy conviction of our brother, Abu Dizaei. He is martyr! We wills not rest until he and all heroic brothers are liberated from evils infidels! Allah cackbar!

  48. 48
    The guys cock says:


  49. 49
    David Cameron says:

    The weekend is a bit like my cock.

    Not long enough.

  50. 50
    polar bear says:

    fuck off Prof Jones.

  51. 51
    Anonymous says:

    If Tim Yeo is under the impression that we have forgotten his previous trespasses and have forgiven him then he should be made aware “HAVE WE FUCK !”.

  52. 52
    Caroline Flint's Bit-on-the-Side says:

    Not enough cash because Gordon’s Brown funnelled it into his private slush fund of which he claims to know nothing? There’s his moral compass again, working overtime!

  53. 53
    Anonymous says:

    The (Times)poll will do for me Eagles.Very ,very nice indeedy.May cannot come soon enough.Just imagine a Labour free-BBQ summer !sunny, alcohol drenched days and no Labour Parteh.Bliss.

  54. 54
    Anonymous says:

    The most disturbing thing about the Dizaei case is the fact that this man was continually promoted up to the Rank of Commander in The Metropolitian Police. Disgraceful.

  55. 55
    AC1 says:

    Quick get a plane ready to send them back. Don’t care where.

  56. 56
    MingeMunchersRus says:

    in house gang bang by the sound of it

  57. 57
    Hur Hur Hur says:


  58. 58
    Anonymous says:

    I have no time at all for Mr Yeo.

    I wrote to him a few years back as my MP. I questioned the expenses of MP’s then – and their inflated pensions of £100,000 or more, which had been publicised in one of the broadsheets that week. He wrote back denying everything. I found his letter to be patronising and arrogant. I threw the letter out about 3 months ago as we’re clearing out ready to emigrate.

    Shysters. The lot of ‘em.

  59. 59
    Nice But Dim Tim says:

    Have not heard much mention of this in the media.

  60. 60
    Anonymous says:

    Gordon says:- Of course you can. We take anyone these days.

  61. 61
    nell says:

    No Tory Bear in Tripoli this week? I do hope mr megrahi is keeping well.

  62. 62
    Belgian & Brussles c.unts should keep out of UK politics says:

    They need to recruit more Goober Gobbler trolls from Belgium

  63. 63
    Ker-plunk says:

    13 of New Labour have done to this country what Bill Clinton did to Monica Lewinsky: brought it to its knees.

  64. 64
    Phantom statistics says:

    you must have imagined it

  65. 65
    How long before the internet is totally censored by the fascists in power? says:

  66. 66
    shelling-out says:

    I think it improbable that the other prisoners will share your views. I doubt they’d take kindly to a senior met police officer sitting at the same table with them at breakfast. With a bit of luck, some of the crims he put away will already be there.

    We can only hope. :-D

  67. 67
    Ker-plunk says:

    13 years of New Labour have done to this country what Bill Clinton did to Monica Lewinsky: brought it to its knees.

  68. 68
    Mick says:

    He is too! LoL

  69. 69
    Newly arrived Mrs Face Veil wants to ask an important question says:

    Which way to the DSS? Oh, and death to the west.

  70. 70
    Anonymous says:

    Yeah but it does loads for race relations, doesn’t it.

  71. 71
    Anonymous says:

    here is a spreadsheet on google containing the members register of interests dated 3 Feb 2010. The contents have been extracted from the pdf file that you can find on the parliament website.


    You can of course see Mr Yeo’s relevant details on the sheet labelled “09”

  72. 72
    Anonymous says:

    67 Oh yes many many times.Surely anyone who hates Labias Stasi state and mashed up economy must be counting the days even got mi Election Countdown Widget 114 days and ten hours MAX til we see the back of this miserable lot.Innit.

  73. 73
    Anonymous says:

    I do remember he said that as an MP he wouldn’t get a pension worth much more than about £30,000 per year, and he didn’t know of any other MP who would get more than that either. What a liar and a hypocrite he is.

    Really wish I’d kept it now.

  74. 74
    Old Nick Heavenly(real dimwit) says:

    Full time care for one terminal cancer patient is a two person job!

  75. 75
    nell says:


    gordon is eating nine bananas a day to look ‘radiant’ for the GE.

    I think he might need a facelift to achieve that one.

    As for the bananas , well that many will just give him the runs.

    I think it’s more the case that gordon really has gone bananas!

  76. 76
    Hariet 'Double Standards' Harmen says:

    I hate all men aoart from my husband who will get a blind eye turned in Leyton and Wanstead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  77. 77
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    You are lucky the trougher was a Tory. Had it been one of the nuliebor gobshite’s BBPravda would have shut you up a long time ago!

  78. 78

    Would you like a go on the upper house young man?

  79. 79
    Who voted for the war parties? says:

    Spare us your fantasies.

  80. 80
    Anonymous says:

    If that’s radiant, then someone needs to go to Specsavers.

  81. 81
    A| says:

    you need to start looking at the website you are posting on dear
    can’t miss it
    big story Guido covered further down love

  82. 82
    Moley says:

    Just the opposite.

  83. 83
    Anonymous says:

    I know. Sorry Moley. I was being sarcastic.

  84. 84
    British Militia says:

    AGW is proganda designed to instil fear in the population (similar to the War on Terror). It is used to justify global governence without popular consent and poplulation control.

  85. 85
    streamfisher says:

    Gordons 5 a day (Pledges), no more chocolate Hob Nobs or Kit Kats, the bunch of Bananas that are sitting in front of him around the table are called a Cabinet.

  86. 86
    South of the M4 says:

    To cover 24 hours, 365 days a year it will take 5.2 people.

  87. 87
    Anonymous says:

    Fellow Sickipedian, huh?

  88. 88
    nell says:

    There’s a rumour doing the rounds that mr harpy harriett is going to be parachuted into Birmingham Erdinton, the seat that sion simons is giving up as he pursues the job of mayor of birmingham and hopefully a peerage in the HoL.

  89. 89
    I B Seldom-Lucid says:

    Especially if he fitted them up.

  90. 90
    Fifes Bananarama says:


  91. 91
    Anonymous says:

    Yes. I heard they were going to give Union Jack a safe seat, now he’s got nothing left to “treasure” in the labour party.

    This is Cronyism at its best.

  92. 92
    nell says:


    Interesting announcement from chilcott that documents they are viewing suggest a contradiction to the public evidence they are receiving from people like bliar and straw.

    I thought chilcott was going to be just another hutton labour whitewash – I am beginning to wonder and hope ………………..

  93. 93
    Kirsty Walker says:

    “experts warned that Mr Brown’s obsession with bananas could led to health problems – including indigestion and frequent trips to the toilet.”


  94. 94





  95. 95
    English Radical says:


    Do us all a favour & nurture an opinion.

    Just one.

    Go on, impress us.

    We are waiting.

  96. 96
    Anonymous says:

    Is anyone watching Dispatches, about Royal Mail?

    I’m not surprised they’re going bust. Their workers are a load of shiftless good-for nothings.

  97. 97
    English Radical says:


    Do us all a favour & nurture an opinion.

    Just one.

    Go on, impress us.

    We are waiting

  98. 98
    Jimmy's Stewart says:

    That screaming you hear is arrogant twat and former Met Commander Ali Dizaei being royally buggered by his cellmate. Justice at last.

  99. 99
    Al says:

    You are a bell end.

    How’s that for starters?

  100. 100
    Charles Bronson says:

    I’ve never been a Tory but it’ll be worth having them win just to wipe the smug smiles off the faces of this disgustingly crooked New Labour lot.

  101. 101
    Bert says:

    Watching UK Border Force. Illegals arrested and deported. Love it.

  102. 102
    RSVIP says:

    It’s not a case of proving it just exposing it.

    Now people know about their little rackets they’ll take more care in future.

  103. 103
    nell says:

    Indeed he did and I posted on it at about 2.15 before I shot back to work.

    But that’s no reason to let the story die, as I’m sure even Guido would tell you.

    The story shows gordon’s eccentricity and I think that will be exposed even more over the coming days and weeks.

  104. 104
    Jonty Pryor says:

    Gavin Esler a Tory? Now I know you’re fucking cracked.

  105. 105
    RSVIP says:

    Using the mayor’s limo as a private taxi.

  106. 106
    andy says:

    Interesting article on PB.com about all the dodgy polls out lately.


    A 10 point lead is now enough to give the Tories a comfortable majority.

  107. 107
    fiction writer says:

    I love a good story.

  108. 108
    Completem bollox says:

    Screaming eagles you are completely full of shit and I don’t want your dirty £5

  109. 109
    Anonymous says:

    For anyone wanting to skip the middle-man and interested in seeing where he’s getting these jokes from, wander over to http://www.sickipedia.org

  110. 110
    BJ banana says:

    You give good opinion.

  111. 111
    Anonymous says:

    Oops – that’ll teach me not to refresh before posting…

  112. 112
    Cunt watch says:

    That policing pledge advert is getting a lot of air time tonight. Hunts

  113. 113
    RSVIP says:

    ‘There is a lot of fibre in bananas. A lot of volume in means a lot of volume out.’

    In other words, he is full of shit.

  114. 114
    nell says:


    Too many bananas gives a potassium overdose.

    Symptoms: Irritability, vomiting, diarrhea, irregular heartbeat.

    I wonder how all that interacts with patients who are taking anti-depressants?

  115. 115
    anon,anon,anon.... says:

    ask him for a copy….if no joy, FOI request

  116. 116
    Jonty Pryor says:

    He was born in Glasgow so he must be a socialist, you fucking numpty.

  117. 117
    Anonymous says:

    Badly, I hope.

  118. 118
    Anonymous says:

    Contradictory? Surely not…….

  119. 119
    nell says:

    There have loads of local swings that cannot be predicted by these national polls.

    We are living in a very unusual political time. 340 members of the HoP are running away from the next election. They are all discredited in their own constituences. The majority of them are labour.

    To name just one – labour’s philhope in corby – a labour constituency if ever there was one. And yet he is totally discredited, locally, because of his massive troughing. The chances are that Corby and East Northants is now going to swing to the tories.

    National polls cannot predict these local traumas and there are going to be hundreds of them.

  120. 120
    nell says:

    Tsk sorry ‘There have to be …….’

  121. 121
    Martin Day says:

    Fuck Labour and Lib Dems!!!

    Lib Dems are on about supporting the Labour party!!!!!!

    No way should Nick Clegg be supporting 5 more years of Gordon Brown!!!!!!

    Lib Dems are just part of Labour – A rebranding of Labour!!!!!!!!!

    Fuck them both thats what i say!!!!!!

  122. 122
    Anonymous says:

    A desperate effort to regain confidence. My Dad was a good copper. He’d be apaplectic if he saw what’s happened to the force now.

  123. 123
    Not a Labour man says:

    Your too right – the Lib dem are too close to Lib Dem!!!

    Both need defeating!

  124. 124
    Engineer says:

    It is often said that middle managers rise to their level of incompetence.

    Perhaps, too, it says much about attitudes within the management of the Met. One good thing to come out of it is that it might prick the bubble of political correctness, so that decent coppers (if there are any left) are less hampered in getting on with doing a decent job of keeping the rest of us safe from thugs and con-men.

  125. 125
    Anonymous says:

    Thank God we’re leaving the UK. 5 weeks to go!!

  126. 126
    anon,anon,anon.... says:

    You might ponder that some 50% of a banana’s genes are common to Gordon.
    Perhaps he’s looking for the remaining 50%

  127. 127
    Anonymous says:

    It won’t make any difference now. We leave the UK in 5 weeks.

  128. 128
    Peter Madlesson says:

    I think you’re confusing ‘valet’ with ‘varlet’

    They made a film about him; ‘How deep is my varlet’.

  129. 129
    tory dalek troll says:

    You must be a fucking socialist….you’re leaving us to clean up the mess as per fucking usual.

  130. 130
    Anonymous says:

    Quite. Things could get a bit messy for Mr Desai.

  131. 131
    udderly 'orrible says:

    ex-Prof Jones threatened to top himself, perhaps Bad Ali could turn his attentions to some of these bent climate scamming academics, help them out as it were?

  132. 132
    biffo says:

    They call it rough justice, and boy is he gonna get it rough.

  133. 133
    Peter Handlesmen says:

    There was me thinking I had nothing in common with him apart from both being CLINTS.

  134. 134
    Engineer says:

    A few years ago, my professional responsibilities included the design of steam pipework, including some rather large ones. One of the problems one has to overcome is to ensure that the thermal expansion that occurs as metal pipes are heated to steam temperatures is properly allowed for, and one way of doing this is by using expansion bellows. The designer has to be careful to support and guide the pipe properly near one of these devices to prevent it’s failure by squirm.

    Jack Straw today demonstrated that he is a poorly-designed axial expansion bellows. Quite small loads applied cause him to deflect significantly, and in front of Chilcott, he failed by squirm.

  135. 135


    Guido sober


  136. 136
    John "Three chicken tikka masalas" Prescott says:

    I’m hungry.

  137. 137
    streamfisher says:

    Big in some cases, ask Tony (but don’t expect to get a reply).

  138. 138
    European Court of Public Opinion says:

    No, it’s cos you’re a bent copper.

  139. 139
    nell says:

    Well I hope it’s somewhere warm and sunny. If it’s Spain and you’re anywhere near Denia go enjoy the nightlife/restaurants along the Plaza.

    Sardinas, King Prawns, Alioli, Conejo al Ajillo. Oh Dear – my mouth’s watering now!!!

    And you can still keep up with us here via the web. But perhaps then you should rename yourself ExPatAnonymous or something?!! I’m going to be green with envy.

  140. 140
    Out Now says:

    Just goes to show what happens when positive discrimination takes over.

    Not only is the House of Lords full of dusky crooks (mentioning no names, Uddin, Paul etc.) it’s also true of Plod and most other government-influenced organisations.

    Promotion on merit is good – positive discrimination is crooked.

    The proof is now out there for all to see.

  141. 141
    Engineer says:

    Just before spring (seasonal and political).

    Don’t worry. Those of us that intend to hang on in there will make this country Great again. It’ll be hard work, there will be setbacks, and it’ll take a while, but it’s a job worth doing. Because it’s our land.

  142. 142
    Brit says:

    And they are not brits.

  143. 143
    Engineer says:

    Have another Diary Secretary and stop complaining.

  144. 144
    anon,anon,anon.... says:

    watching a bbc4 prog on Britain’s past ambassadors and Foreign secs. Hurd and Haigh commenting

    how on earth can GB end up with this pile of shit. No manners, background, sense or knowledge of History.

    How can our present Ambassadors communicate with in any meaningful way with gobshites like millinana and bustingagut.

  145. 145
    Odds Bodkins says:

    This was not about one stupid lapse in self-control. On the contrary, the man clearly has a criminal mindset.

    He will feel at home among his new acquaintances, though the bland diet and prison routine will take a bit of getting used to. And for someone used to getting his own way, so will subordination to the screws and tough nuts in there.

  146. 146
    nell says:

    He obviously has not listened to Pachauri – the UN’s IPCC Guru who says that in order to save the world environmentally, the whole world must go vegetarian.

    Oh Dear Prezza perhaps you need to find a less exacting gravy train!!!!


  147. 147
    South of the M4 says:

    But does he have a vent valve to release the pressure?

  148. 148
    Gordon ( SoldGoldAtThe ) BottomBrown says:

    Here. have one of my bananas.

  149. 149
    Engineer says:

    Better make that a vegetarian Diary Secretary…..

  150. 150
    Wacist Watch says:

    U all wacists. Him inoscent.

  151. 151
    Engineer says:

    You know he’s lost it when a jet of steam issues from each ear. If his safety valve has failed, he could suddenly fail catastrophically….bit like Campbell nearly did on Marr’s show.

  152. 152
    anon,anon,anon.... says:

    Or better still a Dairy Secretary

  153. 153
    Blue on Blue says:

    Is this widely advertised military operation part of the massive and extremely costly government advertising campaign currently under way on TV, radio etc etc, designed to make Winston love the Labour party, I mean government, and all its deeds?

  154. 154
    nell says:

    You can’t beat the endless skies and the sunsets across my Fens.

    When we were younger we spent our January’s and October’s in Spain but we were always home for most of the year. Now we are home forever. And like you Eng we shall fight for our land.

    What we need to do is beat this scottish stalinist crew back beyond Hadrian’s Wall. When we’ve done that we can reclaim our heritage!!!

  155. 155
    biffo says:

    No thanks, you never where it’s been.

  156. 156
    Engineer says:

    Are you thinking of Zac Goldsmith’s not-often reported quote, “How Green Was My Valet”?

  157. 157
    Crime Doesn't Pay says:

    Sign here for your book deal, and here’s a £100,000 advance.

  158. 158
    TheCourtOfPublicOpinion says:

    I hereby declare I do solemly promise to tell every canvasser whomsoever asks me which party I shall be voting for, between now and May, that I shall be voting Labour.

    Then after their annihilation, when they say “but we seemed ok in the polls”, I can ask them how they like being fucking lied to for a change.

  159. 159
    Old Nick Heavenly(real dimwit) says:


  160. 160
    Gordon ( SoldGoldAtThe ) BottomBrown says:

    Tossed salad ??

  161. 161
    Peter Handlesmen says:

    Is that a typo for ‘Tossed a lad’ ??

  162. 162
    Average Voter with Average IQ says:

    Actually I thought the PMs newly announced banana policy was much more interesting and exciting than all that boring political stuff from the Leader of the Opposition about cleaning up Parliament, and changing the MPs privileges. Haven’t they got enough privileges already?

  163. 163
    Ali Dizaei says:

    I live the lie!

  164. 164
    Dracula says:

    After Yeo, more woe: ConHome reporting that the Tory PPC for Westminster North has resigned at a constituency meeting over “internal tensions”. Dave won’t be pleased.

  165. 165
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    You stand a good chance of making leader. After the last 2, as least you’ll be a convicted criminal.

  166. 166

    That Ben Bradshaw, just on the news wittering about some corrupt shit, doesn’t he look like the domineering mother out of Pink Floyd’s Wall?


    Domineering mum

  167. 167
    nell says:


    G’Night Folks. God Bless. My thoughts tonight are with our lads in Afghanistan as they fight this Big Battle that gordon has set up for them from the comfort and safety of his drowning street sitting room!!!

    I particularly like michaelyon’s nickname for aintbustingagut ‘ bullshit bob’ which he took from our own troops.

  168. 168

    Poor Gordon. Another squaddie dead in Afghanistan – more now than in the Falklands, but he cant’ even enjoy that victory over Thatch, cus the damn country is landlocked and he *knows* he’s not going to be able to sink a battleship.

    Nothing goes right for Gordon.

  169. 169
    albacore says:

    There’s no need to feed the trolls, PC Cowards.
    The Lib/Lab/Con axis is drowning in its own diarrhoea and it just can’t stop passing more.

  170. 170
    christy says:

    To Engineer.
    Yes you needed stay bars to support the bellows because by necessity the bellows needed to be thin enough to expand and contract and I have seen in my time stay bars tightened up too much with awful results.
    On Strawman my idea would be one of his legs tied to each leg of an expansion loop with no give and of course superheated steam.
    OT.Straw pedigree seems to be G/G Grandfather Walter Straw german/jewish immigrant(In Germany Straw spelt as Stroh)he married a woman called Ann?that led to Arthur Wittacker Straw born 1888 in neepsend Yorks this was his G/Father and in turn led to his father Walter Arthur Straw.
    I’m musing here that the Whittaker bit could possibly be the surname of Ann.

  171. 171
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    It was the strain of trying to remember which spin he was recounting. If he loses it with Marr, ffs, wait until Paxo gets near him.

  172. 172
    Mr Ned says:

    The war on terror is a Rockefeller backed route to a NWO, whereas the Global Warming/climate change scam is a Rothschild backed route.

    Both are intended to herd us to the same destination.

  173. 173
  174. 174
    christy says:

    To Engineer.
    Look at 187 for a laugh you will know what I mean.

  175. 175
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Don’t do half a job. Let’s beat them back beyond John O’ Groats.

  176. 176
    Dack Blog says:

    My gut feeling from every poll/commentary I read is that voter apathy is being underestimated. Most people I know think ‘they’re all the same/they’re all as bad as each other/ we’re totally fucked whoever gets in/ fuck the lot of ‘em’. They’re not apathetic in a ‘can’t be arsed’ sense – more that they don’t think anyone is worth/deserves their vote.

    Unless the campaign hots up and polarises so that people are clearer re which ‘side’ they’re on/are more inclined to vote to keep a side out as much as get one in – I think turnout will be low.

    Maybe that’s not properly reflected in the polls as people are reluctant to admit they may not bother (not that I’m that ‘in the know’, I admit, as I simply don’t have the time to look at them in depth).

    Jeez… I’m actually interested in the whole shebang, and I can barely bring myself to face the ballot paper.

  177. 177
    Maladroit Labour Chump says:


    This royal throne of kings, this sceptred isle,

    This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,

    This other Eden, demi-paradise,

    This fortress built by Nature for herself

    Against infection and the hand of war,

    This happy breed of men, this little world,

    This precious stone set in the silver sea,

    Which serves it in the office of a wall

    Or as a moat defensive to a house,

    Against the envy of less happier lands,–

    This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England.

    W Shakespeare, “King Richard II”, Act 2 scene 1


    This Royal Doulton of Labour, this septic pile,

    This dearth of magnanimity, this piece of shite,

    This other England, semi-paralytic,

    This fucking mess built by Labour for itself,

    Again infected by their illegal war,

    This crappy breed of men in Gordon’s shitty world,

    This festering hole steeped in misery,

    A Nokia stuck in the wall of an office,

    Such an offensive scrote in the House,

    The politics of envy from less happier Mands,

    This fetid plot, scorched earth, unreal, once England.

    Gordon Brown, Dickhead II, Act of Vandalism scene of crime

  178. 178
    Jonty Pryor says:

    Yes indeed,the sooner Martin Day is thrown out of the Conservative Party,the better.

    It’s all his fault,the little scrote and foul mouthed twerp

  179. 179
    Wavy Davy Bullingdon Gravy loves to eat his Greens says:

    You could deposit your shit in my spiffing Green Bank

  180. 180
    AC1 says:

    They’re hardly likely to vote Labour though.

  181. 181
    Engineer says:

    Quite surprises some people the amount of damage an over-constrained steam line can inflict on it’s surroundings.

    I wonder if straw would make good thermal insulation? A practical test by wrapping Straw round a steamline would be the best way to find out….

  182. 182
    Turnip Taliban says:

    Dave will be leading the troops over the top will he nell?
    Or will he be supporting the carnage from the safety of his sitting room?

  183. 183
    Mr Ned says:

    The association of black police officers (a fascist racist organisation if ever there was one, why aren’t the fascists in the anti-nazi league attacking this blatantly racist organisation?). Sorry, I digress. The association of black police officers have said that they were “surprised” at the prison sentence. That just shows how far the balance has swung far too far in favour of people of colour in the criminal justice system. It get’s so that crimes are not investigated if the suspect is black for fear of the white investigating officer being unfairly and unjustly branded a racist.

    This particularly foul and dishonest and overtly racist officer who was imprisoned today was taking the piss out of the system. We need a party in power that will redress the balance.

    We need to remove ALL the remaining racist elements in this country. White racism has almost been eradicated and it exists in pockets, but it is severely frowned upon as being utterly socially unacceptable.

    We need to target black and asian racism to do the same. There is an amazing amount of overt, blatant racism in the black and asian communities and it MUST be tackled with the full power of the state. If this does not happen soon, there will be one HELL of a backlash!

  184. 184
    Heir-to-Blair Tony Cameron says:

    don’t worry all the deaths will stop in a few weeks when I get in

  185. 185
    streamfisher says:

  186. 186
    Mr Ned says:

    A very accurate one. It’s not just the MPs, the Lords are as bad.

  187. 187
    House of MacSaxe-Coburg-Gotha says:

    That our Sovereign signed away.

  188. 188
    Tim Fyffe but dim says:

    If you enjoy something yellow and bent in your mouth, maybe Thailand would make an excellent holiday destination, but 9 a day?

  189. 189
    The Guardian says:

    sweaty sock type person as 9 a day coordinater

  190. 190
    Kings Heath Lad says:

    I don’t think there is much apathy, most people I speak to are hurting at the moment whether on the bread line or the affluent due to the banking crisis. People are pissed off with the body bags from Af ganistan, the bankers bonuses, looming spending cuts, the uncertainty of global warming, immigration, worthless pensions, stealth taxes, job security, M P s expenses etc etc. Its going to be close polling day but I think one big juicy scandal or cock up a few weeks before will seal the deal.

    No apathy here, my business is fighting the recession with absolutely no help from the banks or No. 1 0, I’m happy to argue with the canvassers what ever their party colour and I will not not waste my vote!!

  191. 191
    Anonymous says:

    It was our land, too, but 6 redundancies between us has put paid to all that.

    So, Tory Dalek Troll, we’re not leaving you to clean up the mess as usual, we’re just sick and tired of having to keep doing it ourselves!

  192. 192
    anon,anon,anon.... says:

    NN Emily showing a bit of leg now

  193. 193
    Anonymous says:

    Liars need good memories. Perhaps he got his wires crossed and knew he’d be humiliated.

  194. 194
    Ted Bundy says:

    The way prison overcrowding now is you’ll probably be out in time to stand at the next General Election in May.

  195. 195
    anon,anon,anon.... says:

    I advertised the position this morning. It has now been withdrawn.

    It’s Passion Fruit tomorrow.

  196. 196
  197. 197
    Newsnight says:

    Funny you should have noticed Kirsty Wark’s leggy exposition the other night Guido. …there seems to be a competition going on judging by Emily Maitlis who clearly threw her hat in the ring during tonight’s final segment.

    In the words of the common man: ‘Phwoar!’ [choke]

  198. 198
    Dack Blog says:

    You’re kind of supporting my point by saying that you’ll ‘argue’ with canvassers ‘whatever’ their party colour – suggesting that you don’t have confidence in any of them.

    Which party represents you? Which party do you trust? Which party do you – really – believe has the ability to sort this mess out?

    In my case – and from what those around me are saying – it’s ‘none of the above’.

    No point confusing being angry/frustrated with not being apathetic. Most want to vote for something. Not against everything.

  199. 199
    Anonymous says:

    Let’s hope Mr Desai’s prison experience is more character-building than the police.

  200. 200
    Dack Blog says:

    Or for anyone else.

  201. 201
  202. 202
    anon,anon,anon.... says:

    Can’t wait to see the opposition waving bananas and Kit Kats at PMQs

  203. 203
    caesars wife says:

    Kirsty still gets my vote .

    NN wreaked a bit of hand of ben and gentleman George Younger was in a Ben Chris , Maitless sandwich , bit wierd going on Ashcroft on both conservative mps , all very Ben ,,although loved it when the moment came and Geaorge turned it round to nom dom Labour piers ,they didnt give him much of a chance to explain his wise and considered views , which is a shame . Chris Huhne showing off his new whiter that white suite .
    Conservatives made some usefull positions today with the voters.

    taking a break from blogging for a while

  204. 204
    Maladroit Labour Chump says:

    Giving one another high Fyffes ???

  205. 205
    AC1 says:

    I disagree. Voting FOR someone is democracies flaw. Most people know who they want to vote against. They don’t know many people well enough to really vote for them. hence tactical voting etc.

  206. 206
  207. 207

    Gordon’s sympathy vote PMQ’s checklist.

    Glycerine drops
    1/2 an Onion
    Toothpick to jab under fingernail
    Box of Kleenex
    Government borrowing figures

    Enough to make anyone cry.

  208. 208
    Moley says:

    There was a time, inte not too distant past, when the Lib Dems were position ing themselves to the left of labour.
    That was when labour was still trying to pretend it occupied the centre ground.

    The Lib Dem Leopard is not going to change its spots, which are bright red.

  209. 209
    Bob Enweave says:

    The party machine in the pursuit of the media image chews up individual initiative. Until the electors choose on merit rather than loyalty we are doomed to the path of soundbite politics and actors instead of leaders.

  210. 210
    Felix the Cat says:

    Sharon Stone’s doing thursday night facing up to Blunkett.
    Let’s see how his labrador stands up to a grilling.

  211. 211

    Some of our MPs are taking this ‘Come Dine with Me’ thing a bit too seriously.

  212. 212
    BOO HOO M and BUST says:

    I think most of the country would like to give Gordon
    A bunch of Fifes

  213. 213
    Man on Clapham Omnibus says:

    A Muslim bus driver stunned passengers by pulling over mid-route and beginning to pray in the aisle.

    The driver stopped the bus without warning before removing his shoes and, using a fluorescent jacket as a prayer mat, beginning to chant in Arabic.

    Passengers said they feared the driver could be preparing for a terror attack.

    No one was able to get on or off the vehicle during the five-minute prayer session.
    HT Daily Mail

  214. 214
    Kings Heath Lad says:

    You hit the nail on the head with this one, I run a tight ship with my business and this how a country should be run. Its like Nu Lab culture of borrow and spend mirrors society greed for credit. For to long people have lived and relied to much on credit or benefits and now there is a massive bill to pay. Cut backs will just cost more suffering as will over spending, so which is the right and which is wrong? I have 16 people working for me and stick a big wedge of cash into No. 1 0 via taxes but I sickens me when a 60 hr 6 day a week commitment from me is just wasted on quango’s or reviews or expenses or bloody gov TV ads , un winable wars etc etc
    So confused, angry and frustrated seems to sum up what most people feel because unless you visit a site like this one how else can you really see what’s happening out there as the popular media (b b c , s k y , newspapers) seems incapable of being unbiased. Nice one Dack Blog your blog has given food for thought.

  215. 215

    I’d prefer to invite him to an American gas pipe testing session ;P

  216. 216

    Well she did look a bit of a heifer, so vegetarian dairy secretary might still be apt…

  217. 217
    Sam says:

    From this week’s Open Europe newsfeeds:

    “The Guardian notes that a report from MPs has today warned that the European Union’s Emissions Trading System (ETS) is failing to deliver vital green investment after a collapse in carbon prices. The Environmental Audit Committee is calling on the Government to introduce measures such as a new carbon tax to push the price of carbon from its level of €15 (£13) a tonne to what the MPs see as a more credible price of €100, in order to encourage the investment needed in new technologies.

    Tim Yeo, Chairman of the Committee, said: “Emissions trading should be helping us to combat climate change, but at the moment the price of carbon simply isn’t high enough to make it work. The recession has left many big firms with more carbon allowances than they need and carbon prices have collapsed.” He added, “If the Government wants to kick-start serious green investment, it must step in to stop the price of carbon flat-lining. Ministers should seriously explore the possibility of a carbon tax and must press the EU to tighten up the overall caps in the Emissions Trading System.”
    Guardian report here: http://tinyurl.com/yc52rqw

    “Ofgem warns of power blackouts and soaring energy bills to meet EU rules
    The Times reports that energy regulator Ofgem has warned of power blackouts and spiralling consumer prices, and raised the prospect of partial renationalisation of the industry in order to maintain the UK’s energy security…”

    “The Mail reports that Ann Robinson, of the price comparison website uSwitch.com, said energy bills could reach around £5,000 by 2020 in order to cover the required investment.”

    AGW is a massive scam and is constantly being pushed by Yeo (my MP) and the Tories, whose ‘envoronmentaql’ spokesman he is. The taxes resulting are already making life impossible for pensioners and the poor who can’t afford even this winter’s higher heating bills. What they propose will have many dying of hypothermia, chest infections and other cold-related illness.

    AGW fanatiscism is also already costing lives as food prices in the third world rise steeply due to land being sequestered for biofuels.

    And it’s all based on junk science (aka computer modelling). Read all about it on the wattsupwiththat blog, now getting millions of hits per week. Many scientists, inc physicists, geologists,. meterologists, and other relevant skilled such as statisticians post there – it’s become the main clearing house of info and articles on the AGW scenario.

    And on Sunday Phil Jones (disgraced Director of CRU) had the gall to compare himself to Dr David Kelly. The man has no shame.

  218. 218
    You Couldn't Make It Up says:

    He wants to ‘green tax’ us all to kingdom cum so he can send all the proceeds to Al Gore, George Soros and Raj Pachauiri!

    I’ll be doing my bit to get the UKIP candidate elected in South Suffolk

    Btw have you been following the bit about all the BBC pension fund being tied up in, (and run by the manager of) some huge ‘carbon tax trade’ company? No wonder the BBC keeps pushing the AGW scare for all its worth

  219. 219
    You Couldn't Make It Up says:

    Not to mention the foul anti-semitism in the Asian and black sectors, which go back many years. It’s so bad now there are police guards on Jewish schools.

  220. 220
    You Couldn't Make It Up says:

    He’s probably the only one prepared to go along with spouting Dave’s Anthropogenic Global Warming shite, as advised by Zac Goldsmith and Jonathan Porritt (all millionaires who can afford the £5000 pa heating bills) we’ll get when the Lib/Lab/Con green taxes are in place. The dear leader’s useful idiot

  221. 221
    You Couldn't Make It Up says:

    The number of public service ads on TV right now is making my blood boil. Doesn’t that lot know the country is BROKE?? It’s all on BORROWED MONEY for which the taxpayer picks up the interest!

    And Johnny Hurt should know the difference between ‘less’ and ‘fewer’ even if this uneducated lot in Milipede’s Environment don’t

  222. 222
    You Couldn't Make It Up says:

    Did anyone notice we had CRUPhil Jones, Alastair Campbell, and both Sarah and Gordon Brown all crying on TV within 24 hours. Enough to make a grown man weep

  223. 223
    You Couldn't Make It Up says:

    A friend of mine lives in a London (East End) former council block. She tells everyone never to post anything of value there – the posties nick everything. Been going on for years.

    Very much depends where you live. Our postie here in the sticks (a woman) is terrific

  224. 224
    UKRAP says:

    You are wasting your time. UKIP feature in Gordon’s dreams. You know the one he has when he manages to hold onto power.

  225. 225
    NAZIS at the door - what the NWO elites want says:

  226. 226
    cliff says:

    since Gordon came to office it hasn’t stopped raining

    since Campbell started to sob I haven’t stopped crying

    oh dear

  227. 227
    Whistle while you work says:

    Glad you bracket Bee n Pee and UKIP together. One a bunch of loon racist thugs the other a diluted old man version in cardigans.

    Both shit.

  228. 228

    Have a full refund and fuck off.

  229. 229
    Cynic says:

    Funny how those who preach liberalism are in fact the most illiberal and intolerant of the lot.

  230. 230
    REEVO says:

    With the antics of people like YEO and the U K’s most dominant political parties it is no surprise to UK voters that the next parliament will be turning away from a deeply flawed system. The voter now knows he/she DOES NOT have a voice they now know they have been ignored on important matters, fleeced, deceived and until now largely despised by Westminster.

    System tinkering will only mask the symptoms it won’t cure the disease that riddles Westminster.

    Voters are well aware that 52% of their MP’s should lose their jobs, indeed parliament could happily lose 52% it would not make a scrap of difference the other 48% would still have little enough to do!

    Expenses cheats have been named, now they should be punished in LAW, proffering up half or dozen or so sacrificial MP lambs isn’t going to put things right.

    M P’s have and are still failing to care for the people that voted them into the job, MP’s own skins are their primary concern!

  231. 231
    Sing Loud and Clear says:

    More Fawkes’ fascism. You can’t moderate free speech.

  232. 232
    CannyCookie says:

    Lose the crap head. Too amateurish and cheapens the video clip.

  233. 233
    NorthernGit says:

    enjoyed the newsnight effort Guido but don’t think you scored a single hit on yeo.

  234. 234
    HEAVYMAN says:

    Well said Guido!

    I’m actually noticing a gradual improvement in the production values and, as ever the content is second to none…keep up the good work!

  235. 235
    Der Fuhrer says:

    Gott und himmel.vas mine dream

  236. 236
    Ding Ding says:

    I caught mine putting a sorry you were out card through. When I ran after him he said it was from the day befor.He had tried to deliver the day befor. It was 20 minutes later I realised the day befor was a Sunday. My old battered up AB face must have shit him though as I’ve never seen him since.

  237. 237
    You Couldn't Make It Up says:

    Firstly, a Cameron victory wouldl not lead to any difference in policy on the substantial questions facing the country, namely the EU’s control over us, and Green taxes (interconnected).

    Secondly, a hung parliament might lead to a substantial realignment of political parties, whcih is desperatley needed. ]]I’m not goign to use my vote to *appear* to sanction a party whose stance on the big questions (as well as many smaller ones eg grammar schools) if in firect opposition to my own. Not even to get rid of Brown.

    If he got back in with a tiny majority we weoudl be in Callaghan / Healey country very fast, and there woudl be a new election, Poetic justice.

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Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”

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