Gordon’s Bananas
Award for the most obscure story in this morning’s papers has to go to The Telegraph. Apparently Gordon is cutting down his intake of Kit-Kats, and replacing them with bananas. Sources close to the Prime Minister’s snacking preparation confirmed that he will now only eat Kit-Kats when under “extreme-pressure”. So that must be fairly frequently then.
Gordon better watch out though, too many bananas can have a dangerous effect. Eating up to nine bananas a day, such as the Prime Mentalist is reported to be doing, can cause a build up of potassium. This can cause gastrointestinal problems, kidney failure or even cardiac arrest.
It is not known whether David Miliband has decided to try a different type of coup.
Does cutting out the KitKats mean that Broon is trying desparately to avoid going bananas?
“too many can also cause bloating, wind and frequent trips to the toilet. ”
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2843206/Gordon-Brown-dumps-KitKats-for-banana-diet-in-Election-run-up.html
Aren’t bananas needed when you’re popping MAOIs like no tomorrow?
The Fyffed Fifer of Eskalith
Wow! What a SCOOP!
I think that’s SSRIs
Man walks up to the night kiosk at an all night garage.
‘Can I have a KatKat chunky’.
The large girl behing the glass gets up, goes round to the shelves and comes back with the chocolate.
The man suddenly becomes angry.
‘I wanted a normal Kitkat you fat bitch!’.
It’s the way ya tell ‘em
By inserting a banana into his mouth horizontally, Gordon gives uses the aforementioned fruit as a frame to fix his saggy face into a sort of ghastly smile.
It’s known as the ‘Joker’ perma-grin.
http://faustiesblog.blogspot.com/2009/11/eu-like-soviet-union-says-pravda.html
is he cutting out 2 fingers or 4?
Kit Kat. Do they do a Fist Edition?
They do a ‘Chunky’ version. Will that do?
After I saw the GREAT Guido fawkes on News night I thought I had better have a look at his blog. He put it to some facelss tory and I was rather impressed.
Now I am on his blog site and its more like Private Eye….
How disappointing…
They do a dark version, and they do a limited edition orange version.
Whats the difference between Mandy and a Kit Kat ? You only get four fingers in a Kit Kat !
(Sorry, but somebody had to remember it.)
Oiks! no class
We use Ferrero Rocher chocolates on a string
Oh Ambassador! you are spoiling us.. Ohohhh! OooOOOOoooohh! Ohh!
it’s called the ‘Bullingdon tuckshop’
Tuckshop?
I think the great helmsman still likes to receive a full compliment of 4 fingers, and a thumb if possible.
A fist. forgive me I’ve got no bananas
In all the excitement,I kind of forgot,but seeing that this is a four finger Kit Kat – the largest in the world – and can blow your huge gut out even further,you got to ask yourself the question,Brown;
“Do I feel lucky?”
Well,do you – you piece of excrement?
We have Gordon on Bananas, Kit-Kats and onions, we’ve also put him on Thatcher’s diet of 28 eggs….Problem is no f*cker wants to go in the bunker to see how he is!
Not after 28 eggs anyway.
Will the Prime Minister please come down from the chandelier and answer the question!!
Answer the question! Are you off your rocker Bercow?
what’s the difference betweem a kit kat and goron broon?
you only get 4 fingers in a kit kat.
The do a John Prescott Kit-Kat in Hull, with 6 fingers!
To be fair 2 pans, it has been our county speciality well before chocolate came to these shores
I like two fingers of Bourbon in the afternoon.
3 fingers for each of his women.
Gordo “ook” Brown would make a good Librarian for any Terry Pratchett film.
1/ Hides Books.
2/ Throws stuff.
3/ Deformed.
4/ Likes Bananas.
Poor Casting.
1. The Librarian has a brain and uses it,
2. The Librarian can count.
3. The Librarian is likeable.
4. The Librarian is a useful member of society.
Good points. I was just thinking of something suited to his “skills” once booted out by the electorate.
I heard him singing in his bath once, ‘Do ‘ave a badada’.
I know an old PM that ate lots of fruit…
http://donottrustthesepeople.blogspot.com/2010/02/poetic-pisstaking.html
All that Lieboring support for Cadbury’s didn’t last long then did it.
We told Labour that we would have to drop Fruit and Nut because unpopularity.
Lord Mandy and Brown told us to go and f**k ourselves.
Kit-Kat is made by Roundtree MacIntoshThat other great british chocolate manufacturer, owned by Nestle a Swiss company !
but made in Poland!
Fat facts:
3 Kit Kat bars = 165 calories
9 bananas = 972 calories
Quite a habit, 9 a day. Must eat into his £400 food allowance.
It´s fare trade.
and the right thing to do.
He gives them Millions of pounds in aid
They send him bananas
Fair trade the Labour way !
Because it’s the right thing to Chew !
Well you are what you eat.
He’s yellow and bent!
Bring on the kidney failure…….. Or the cardiac arrest – preferably in the middle of PMQs.
What would be most telling were such a delicious thing to come to pass would be the complete disinterest displayed by both sides of the House as he lay there on the floor struggling for his last breaths. There would be a good minute or two which would pass while all (un)concerned dispassionately watched the fucker twitching away before they remembered the cameras were on and they’d better look as though they’re trying to ‘save’ him.
Haha! I can picture it now!
Mouth to mouth?
No, Balls to mouth.
PLEASE!!!!!!!
Hi! . . . . I just wanted you to know that I am very, ….. very, ……. very ……. rich!
And while I thank the millions of you who voted Noo_Boring_Liars!
I have to say I only ever eat foi-gras and truffles.
It’s coz I’m worf it.
What’s wrong with Kit-Kats? Lovely biscuits. Lovely, lovely biscuits.
Even better deep fried, Jimmy.
The entire Labour Project has gone bananas – http://whogoeshome.co.uk/?p=364
Can Liebore still afford bananas?
They will also make him shit blue lights.
Can you post a link or is that a personal experience? Or please explain
Quite well known natural remedy/old wives tale based on fact Bananas are a natural laxative and recommended for constipation. Check it out by googling – Bananas/laxative/constipation.Anyone who has given their baby/toddler mashed banana can well testify to the dramatic effect.
If you eat too many – the effect can be………………..Gordon better lay off eating too many of them before PMQs(nuff said surely I don’t need to paint you a picture ?)
I think he should eat many more on Wednesday mornings.
I’d love to see Bruin at the despatch box and watching Harman get spattered by a monster splashfart!
She likes that you know.
Why. Shit will come out of both ends.
Aye! – an’ it helps wi’ ma jobbys!
9 a day puts you up there with the ultra marathoners , and serious endurance racers. Fuck knows what effect it would have on the metabolism of a sedentry loony. However, we can speculate that it would be :
A) Spectacular
B) Unpleasant
Have you never heard that saying?
Here’s a photo taken inside Gordon’s bogpan:
http://www.momorialcards.com/images/blue_lights.jpg
so thats what was hovering over Norway
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/12/09/article-1234430-0787DEA4000005DC-908_634x348.jpg
Thank you Willi
With reference to previous post, do you think they will be ‘plantain’ questions for our glorious Chimp at PMQ’s?
(Via megaphone)
WE HAVE TRACKED YOU USING YOUR IP ADDRESS!
THROW DOWN YOUR LAPTOP AND COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!
It’s a PC!
Contstable Sergeant actually sir!
I still don’t find him ap-peel-ing.
Is he under cardiac arrest?
Milliband ingests his bananas anally, this being his principle orifice.
What a wonderful image. Fairtrade bananas, of course.
Oh, is that a typo, cos I thought they were fairytrade ????
the great helmsman prefers a nice big stiff plantain
administered firmly
organic fair trade Sarah says.
Well it’s where he speaks from most of the time.
Appears to like them particularly bent, judging from the pic.
Yep, its all in the curve…
The curve hits ‘his’ Gorgon-Spot
Well, you can at least slip the odd Prozac into a banana, or perhpas something a little more stronger and permanent.
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/health/can-bananas-cure-depression-442526/
Paraquat? DDT? Ricin?
We’ve got it all at Asassinations-R-Us, Langley, WV.
107 calories in a 2finger kit-kat.
On average, a banana has between 100 and 110 calories.
Just saying.
http://thisisdigitalpr.blogspot.com
is there a problem with the interaction between chocolate and SSRI anti depressants?
SSRI is unlikely.
MOARI might be different.
whats up with us Maori
E’s are good
E’s are good
I hope Gordon realises that despite their anti-depressant qualities, bananas are not a replacement for his medicine……..
http://www.ehow.com/about_4673835_depression-whey-protein-bananas.html
And deep frying them would not help either
For information on what to do if a great big homicidal maniac comes at you armed with a bunch of bananas, see the Monty Python sketch, circa 1969.
No, but when you throw them at people they make a satisfying splat sound, and don’t cost as much as Nokias.
I think bananas also contain a high level of tryptophan which could allow him to produce some much-needed serotonin – which migh lead to him having a greater degree of empathy with people – Oh My God, I think they might be on to something! Lets hope the potassium kills him first!
If McDoom’s serotonin levels dramatically increase he will go from depressed moron to Saviour of the World – again. Well, that’s what it will feel like to him. Do we really, really need that?
will make you feel lethargic, hungry and, eventually, render you impotent.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2843206/Gordon-Brown-dumps-KitKats-for-banana-diet-in-Election-run-up.html
passed that stage, what’s next?
more nokias
Gordon already thinks he’s the most impotent person in Britain. Sorry, important.
GB’s obsession with bananas is caused by those monkey gland extracts he injects. Ook!
I don’t care what McTwat shoves down his throat so long as he finally chokes on it.
He stole my pension too…
I’m going to smoke the skins, but only if the other medicine doesn’t work
Clearly the other medicine doesn’t work.
Good cos that will kill you.
Brown likes to get his hands on as much fruit as he can, if you get my drift.
I don’t get it.
Our Glorious Leader does it for the good of the planet.
He has worked out all the figures and so it must be true.
It also means he can tax people more.
You could always invest in my Green Bank
As in a banana is a herb
Banana flitters.
I fcking KNEW Milliband wasn’t that shit stupid as he appears to be.
Everytime his name was mentioned in the the press every political journo fluttered their eyelashes and fanned their faces in wonderment at his massive intellect and prodigious courage and political nouse.
And there was I thinking what a bunch of clueless tossers they were and what a cowardly twat HE was.
In the end it tuns out they were bang on the money – banana-boy has being trying to kill mad Macfucker with wind and potassium.
Milliband? Fcking genius more likely.
My name is Bond, Milli Bond.
the Hunts a loon
Death by banana is too good for him.
You’re killing me!
How to Relieve Depression With Bananas
Contributor
By eHow Contributing Writer
Article Rating: (5 Ratings)
Millions of people suffer from depression around the world and some proven home remedies can help relieve some of the symptoms of depression. Bananas have amazing vitamins and minerals that have been scientifically proven to help with depression as well as heart disease, menstrual cramps, leg cramps, energy and even hangovers. Learn how to relieve your depression with bananas and to eat them in a variety of ways.
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Difficulty: ModerateInstructionsThings You’ll Need:
Bananas
Step 1Peel the banana and try cutting the peel into tiny little pieces. Mix it with juice, milk or other fruits for taste. You can even blend it with ice to make it more smooth for you. The peel can ease depression symptoms.
Step 2Wake up in the morning and take a few bananas from your fridge and peel them. Cut the bananas into smaller chunks and put them on a plate. Drip some honey onto them if you like. Enjoy them slowly and peacefully.
Step 3Eat bananas throughout the week to relieve your depression symptoms. Eat a whole banana every day for at least one month to see results and relieve any aches and pains that come from your depression.
Step 4Take a banana to work with you. Whenever you begin to feel stressed or have any depressive thoughts, take five minutes to breathe and eat your banana. Notice how stopping your thoughts and nourishing your body can ease your depression.
Step 5Ask your doctor about the benefits of bananas. Your physician can give you some suggestions on how to fit these tropical fruits into your diet. Also, look for supplements out on the market that you can add to your everyday diet.
I do believe ol Mc Mental is done for
“By eHow Contributing Writer”
You mean some cnut got PAID for that?
Next week: the benefits of breathing.
Before enjoying your first banana, go out and buy the largest carton of toilet tissue you can carry home. You know it makes sense.
He needs watching everywhere now. As his vision deteriorates, and his mind starts to shut down.
Not even a Super man can take the work load he inflicts upon himself, due to his Paranoia, and inability to delegate hardly anything.
The Chump is a Chimp
About banana overdose: This medical knowledge of bananas appears to be from “the sun”.
He should stick to Kit-Kats.
Have a break McTwat.
Make it last at least as long as the rest of your rotten life…
Bananas, or rather Potassium, is good for treating depression. For the potassium-deficient individual, the most common signs of depression are anxiety, discontent, and tearfulness, often without provocation.
And Nokia throwing?
Oh, yeah. That and secretary shoving.
And Red Ragging, bullying and snot-eating?
There’s recycled potassium in snot
The side effects of O/D’ing on bananas is starting to show
arms getting longer
scratching top of head
ears sticking out picking nose and eating it
thumping fist on table
next he’ll start Jacking Off to an audience !
Some how PMQ’s will never be the same !
and letting one go in front of Adam Boulton
I didn’t realise it was my turn
Let’s hope he gets a taste for potassium and moves on to shooting up on the chloride!
That’s the Alistare.
Is there no end to McLoon’s self-inflicted “media catastrophes” ?
“Bananas in pyjamas are coming down the stairs,
Bananas in pyjamas are coming down in pairs,
Bananas in pyjamas are chasing Gordon everywheres,
‘cos on Wednesdays they all try to catch him unawares! “
Get him back on the pills, or else the wastepaper bin will be attacking him next.
I’m beginning to feel very sorry for the PM. It is a horrible thing to lose a child, as the parents of Gordon’s ever-increasing list of victims in Afghanistan will testify. If he hasn’t managed to reconcile himself to his loss after all this time, he really should seek counselling, as further loss of self-control might be construed as a cynical attempt to get a sympathy vote in the GE by various unkind people.
The best thing we can do for Gordon is to make sure that he gets a good, long rest, free from the trials and tribulations of office, just as the Electorate did for Winnie, (who the Left vilify as the Butcher of Tonypandy), in 1945. Mind you, that will be the only thing that Brown will ever have in common with the Great Man.
Well,he could have something else in common with the greatest Englishman of all time – Winston did it on 24th January 1965.
But we can be assured that there won’t be a state funeral for this odious man – simply send him back up the A1 in the back of an “R” reg Ford Transit van or will he want to be buried in Moscow along with the other traitors?
Churchill’s mother was American. He’s therefore half-English.
Something similar to O’banana, then, who’s half white.
I would personally donate a bespoke bin liner marked bag full of shite.
But only when Blubber Brown’s body lies amouldering inside.
Err, the only thing Churchill and Brown have in common, other than losing a daughter in infancy. Churchill’s daughter Marigold died at 2 years 9 months. Whether he managed to ‘reconcile’ himself to this, as you apparently insist he should have done, someone else will perhaps explain to you.
If one loses a child, the pain lives on. “they do not die, who live in our hearts”.
However one learns to live without allowing the loss to affect ones’ ability to function without embarrassing ourselves and others in our daily lives. I feel for Gordon the man. The PM is a totally different matter
‘I feel for Gordon the man’.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
So do I (NOT).
Please don’t feel sorry for him.
He’s a complete sociopath. Judging by his personality/history, I think he mentioned and cried about it in public because he wanted to get more votes by appearing to be more human; he really is that evil.
If he was human, he would have simply said “I can’t talk about that, it’s still too painful”.
Please don’t get taken in by him. He said he wouldn’t use his family for political reasons, then he got his wife (twice) to introduce him to the labour conference as a national hero.
Feel sorry for his family, but not for him.
here here
It’s a sign of ‘ill breeding’ to wear your heart on your sleeve.
Obviously losing a child is a traumatic experience but when Brown was riding high a few years ago he took an implied swing at both Cameron and Blair by saying he would never use his children for political advantage. Then he does this!!!!!!
Not only did he take a swipe at Cameron he then had his wife, the very next day, come and provide covering fire at the conference.
I agree will all above and think on this when call me Dave did the stupid photo shoot at the Remberance day parade when Gordoom got wind of it instead of saying “well thats up to him if wants to look crass go ahead i`m having non of it” NO CHANCE what did Gordoom do “WHAT GET ME A F****IN PHOTOGRAPHER NOW AND GET ROUND TO THE POPPY FIELD ASAP NO WAY DC IS UPSTAGING ME” speaks volumes about the vile ignorant shallow twat does it not!
Perhaps Brown can try to stuff a banana sideways down his throat and then choke until no longer breathing.
In fact,I am sure the country will chip in to buy the monster a pallet of bananas to help him complete the task.
Gordon Brown – evil,lying,fraudulent,soviet spy who just happens to be the unelected Prime Minister – you could not make it up.
Does it say anywhere that he peels these nine daily bananas?
There is a God. Dodgy Met Commander Ali Dizaei’s nine lives just ran out – unanimously found guilty of misconduct in a public office and attempting to pervert the course of justice. Sweet !
So that’s a promotion alongside the ridiculously named Cressida Dick (not sure she has ever experienced one,actually) and a few months R&R alongside the murderer of Ian Tomlinson?
This country is bankrupt – morally and economically.
Izzy wizzi lets get Dizaei
But why did it take so long?
i guess, like, it’s the long arm of the Law, innit ??
I think we all know the answer to that one.
Well the rotten state of the socialist-led CPS is your answer:
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23803410-prosecution-blunders-let-criminals-escape-justice.do
Note its sterling record in Tower Hamlets – home to Banglaland’s Top Trougher.
CPS’s problem is that its affirmative action/luvvie-empowerment employment practises over the past 13 years, have disastrously prejudiced its professionalism.
Iz it becoz e iz black ?
Nobody was prosecuted in the Brazilian shooting case. So why Dezaei? His life in prison won’t be a happy one.
Ooooo. I’m putting blue eye liner on him when he gets here
4 years for the Dizaei Rascal!
He’s Bonkers.
‘ misconduct in a public office ‘
Why has this offence not been applied to the troughing pigs?
I think we should be told.
MP’s off to Court for false accounting, Snr Police Officers convicted for perverting the course of justice …… you’d think we were living in a corrupt dictatorship.
So when’s McMental going to get done for false accounting ?
That, perverting the course of Prudence and in control of an economy whilst unfit under the influence of megalomania, delusion and Peter Madlesson (sic).
What about handling stolen pensions, fencing gold a rock bottom prices, giving away other peoples sovereign powers, and in posession of a private slush fund to name just a tiny few more!!
and Blair for mass murder
He’s been killing fellow roman catholics during a Church service, too, you mean?
Nah, mate! That’d be… bananas!
It’s not a dictatorship, it’s an oligarchy.
Anyone see Labour apologist Stephen Pound reviewing the newspapers on Sky last night. That bastard needs a red hot poker right up his arse. Lying Hunt.
Mmm a student of history perchance ?
“On the night of 11 October while lying on a bed Edward II was suddenly seized and, while a great mattress… weighed him down and suffocated him, a plumber’s iron, heated intensely hot, was introduced through a tube into his anus so that it burned the inner portions beyond the intestines. —”
Who will rid me of this tiresome Prime Minister?
We will, if you’d give us half a chance.
Just give me a red hot poker and the opportunity and I am your man!
Edward II got shafted because Parliament decided that the Monarch and the Monarchy were not the same thing. Now, if we could persuade the European Court (who now make UK law) decide that the the PM and the PM-ship were not one and the same thing…….
The reason it was done that way, was to kill him without leaving external evidence. So how did we come to know about it?
I was there and took photos.
go to
http://www.pokeruprectumouch.com
Several contemporary sources criticised Edward’s seeming infatuation with Piers Gaveston, to the extent that he ignored and humiliated his wife. Chroniclers called the relationship excessive, immoderate, beyond measure and reason and criticised his desire for wicked and forbidden sex. The Westminster chronicler claimed that Gaveston had led Edward to reject the sweet embraces of his wife; while the Meaux Chronicle (written several decades later) took concern further and complained that, Edward took too much delight in sodomy.
Hence the red-hot poker gay rights was a burning issue clearly
Piers.
There’s the link!
Blubber Brown with Moron.
Quick, copy/paste a dossier from the interweb, and, within 45 mins, the use of that poker will be legal.
Get Alistair on the phone if he’s not too busy having a breakdown, and let’s start to lean on Goldsmith right away. Send him to the Tower to get his opinion changed if needs be.
mmmmm . . . must try that as my birfday treat
Can Mandy use a poker though?
What’s thre difference between a microwave and Peter Mandelbum?
A microwave doesn’t brown your meat.
What was up with his makeup?
He looked like some mad Pantomime Dame.
He reminds me of a Toby Jug
Without the patriotic connotations, one assumes…
Oh no he didn’t.
What a hypocrtical smarmy shit Stephen Pound is. Telling us how there were loads of jobs in Ely but the Brits don’t want to take them, so they have to bring in immigrants.
He didn’t explain that it’s his party’s mad benfits culture that’s caused the Brits to sit on their arses rather than work cause working costs them money.
Yep. The massive effective rates of tax on low earners who work is just crazy.
Some people who go to work actually get less money even before the cost of working an effective > 100% income tax.
One of the reasons I favour a Land* Value Tax => equal Citizens Dividend and no income tax is that it would mean it always pays to work.
*Property costs less costs of the buildings.
“Stephen Pound, Ealing North MP, who claimed £111,000 in 2003-04, said it was the equivalent of 3p each year for each of his electors.
“This is not about filling our boots,” he said. “This is not about trousering a lot of money. This is about the money it takes to do the job.”"
Here: http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2004/oct/22/houseofcommons.uk
The fucking imbecile. 3p per year for each of his electors? What a load of shit. That would be 33 electors per pound. So if he’s scamming 111K then that is 33 x 111,000 electors. Or 3.3 million electors.
That is some fucking monster constituency you’ve got in Ealing pal. Half the fucking population of London. At that rate we’d only need 20 MPs for the whole UK. Less – because you’re talking electors – not those under 18.
With maths like this is it any wonder these Labour imbeciles have completely shafted the economy?
New-Labours Socialism is narcissistic, it’s all about them, and they’ve done pretty well out of the economic shafting the rest of the population suffered.
I suggest you watch Mad Nad’s TV spectacular tonight as she tries her hand at living on benefits
breasts bra’s cash expenses and cheating
it’s got em all
Lovly jubbly and by the way Pete Price of Radio City is a fucking twat.
What a hypocrtical smarmy shit Stephen Pound is. Telling us how there were loads of jobs in Ely but the Brits don’t want to take them, so they have to bring in immigrants.
Plenty of jobs paying shit, rock bottom wages he means, wages he wouldn’t get out of bed for in a million years.
Perhaps if property prices and rents were not so sky high in this country, people could afford to work for shit, rock bottom wages.
But no. The chattering classes in this country want a low wage, low skill economy with sky-high property prices and rents. Guess what, you cant have both.
Actually they want a High Rent-seeking economy (economic success with no work involved via government entitlement).
Over time this actually destroys the economy.
It’s not just the chattering classes who want sky-high property prices. Every twat seems to want sky-high property prices. So they can re-mortgage the fucker and ‘release some of the equity tied up in their home’ and go swash-buckling into their local BMW showroom and buy a brand new X5 to park on their fucking dr*ve. Oh, and with the money they ’saved’ by ‘haggling’ with the white-socked salesman treat themselves to a couple of weeks at the Touessrok in Mauritius.
Fucking plankton.
It’s called an econonic boom by a Liebour government, madness by everyone else.
JGM2,
MW calls the Home-ownerists.
http://markwadsworth.blogspot.com/
People have been brainwashed into thinking the simple necessity of a roof over their heads should be an ever increasingly expensive luxury.
The roof’s got cheaper, it’s the land under their feet that’s got less affordable.
We could cut the price of houses at a stroke. Simply relax the planning laws. Let everybody buy themselves a nice place in the country at affordable prices.
Nah the #1 problem is that the credit supply is too high, rather than the house supply is too low.
But yes Nimbyism is problem #2.
Better idea would have been to limit Britain’s population, thereby reducing housing demand and preserving our countryside at the same time.
Instead, thanks solely to immigration and its consequences, we have rapid population growth. House prices are guaranteed to remain insanely high, while more of our countryside is destroyed trying to keep pace with demand, demand generated in places like Devon, Shropshire or Hampshire by white flight from the big shithole cities.
Nope Credit is too high. Britain isn’t full (apart from full of NIMBYs). Land isn’t scarce. It’s just that Nimbys don’t want houses built near them as that lowers the chances of them earning lots of money from property.
Immigrations main problem is the benefit bill. It’s main causes are 2 fold.
1. Benefits paid for turning up.
2. Benefits paid to indigenous population in a way that prevents them gaining from working.
Solve those 2 rather than a draconian 1 child policy or caps on travel.
It’s not just the chattering classes who want sky-high property prices. Every twat seems to want sky-high property prices. So they can re-mortgage the fcker and ‘release some of the equity tied up in their home’ and go swash-buckling into their local BMW showroom and buy a brand new X5 to park on their fucking drive. Oh, and with the money they ‘saved’ by ‘haggling’ with the white-socked salesman treat themselves to a couple of weeks at the Touessrok in Mauritius.
Fucking plankton.
Stephen Pound is a rubber faced turd and am looking forward to him getting thrown out at the election, so I never have to look at his stupid mr punch face ever again.
correction – please use my preferred term – ‘investment’
Watch out, more loonies in the judiciary:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8500712.stm
“Sikhs should be allowed to wear their ceremonial daggers – known as Kirpans – to school and other public places”
Jedis should bring their light sabres.
And jihadists their bombs
Amy Winehouse should bring her crack cocaine.
And Kerry Katona should bring her big fat arse.
and drug dealers should be allowed to walk round with killer dogs – oh, they already do.
I-slam is a religion of peace.
HAHAHA hehehe
that why me own peace loving civilised Christian God told me personally to bomb this shit out of em
I sure did and it all went just peachy
Iraq’s now a democracy and that sucked in anti-democratic Alky Ada into a free fire zone so we could kill Jihadis over there rather than here.
So yes I totally agree.
A Sikh mate has one. It’s blunt. As blunt as a Scotsman’s Dirk should be. Not as blunt as Brown, obviously. But still pretty blunt!
Should be fun at Gatwick.
and hoodlums their Glocks
I have just blogged on this halfwit
http://www.frankfisher.org/?p=173
I dread to think what the local Gurkha kids are going to take to school.
One things for sure, I won’t be giving them less than an ‘A’!
Very noticeable that Gorgon Brown’s hand no longer shakes when he loses his temper during his PMQ spats with Cameron. Is this change down to an increased consumption of bananas or a reduction in intake of Kit Kats?
An acceptance of the inevitable will sometimes do that.
FOC I knew someone whose had would shake like that when he was very stressed. A change in medication stopped that from happening. Wonder if it’s the same with Brown?
Oh, here is 5he missing ‘n’ from the above post.
And here is the “t”, for which I have accepted your “5′ in full payment.
A quick wank before PMQs settles me down nicely. You should try it.
Agreed.
He was talking to your wife.
So, Harriet has some use then?
What Gordon Brown PM omitted from the above was that it is not his own penis that he is wanking.
Problem is Gordon you have to stop your hand jerking after the wank
a banana inserted just before seems to be working well.
Beta-blockers are/were commonly prescribed for tremor, quite effective as I remember.
Time to go long on Kraft
So now it’s official.
Gordoom IS going bananas.
Pull my banana.
I enjoy nine bent fruits a day.
It’s a well known fact that if you stick a banana up your bum it will make your eyes water.
Wrong palm tree, its a coconut
In Gordons, case you got the nut bit right.
then use a cucumber
it’s the Bullingdon vegetable of choice
Is that an F1 high-breed?
I am delighted to announce that I have granted a request to David Cameron in order that the Opposition Front Bench can welcome Gordon Brown to PMQ’s this wednesday with their rendition of “The Banana Boat Song”
I am tempted to join in the chorus
“Daylight come and I wanna go home”
ORDER…I trying to listen to that planted question from the right honourable New Labour backbencher!
Has one become a banana republic
Along with the planted “jokes” from the Rt Hon PM.
I like a nice ripe banana in my nappy
Go on Gordon, have another banana.
This will be the 10th you’ve had today.
It’ll do you the world of good.
And just a leetle waffair-thin mint?
Joke City.
What’s bent, yellow and goes well with nuts?
a traffic wardens hat
Applause
Just thought I’d let you know that the pickfords removal lorry will be there in just 88 days, on its way to Edinburgh.
Not long now Gordon, you can have a real good cry then eh?
Shame on the Torygraph for swallowing his story
I don’t know, thought there might be a joke in it
what a frightful degenerate!
me Dave, Billy Hague and Clarke always use a cucumber
it’s just so much more hygenic
Well, butter my buns and call me a biscuit.
The message here is simple : Gordon’s a normal bloke, just like you and me.
Gordon is a regular guy. He is nagged by his wife, has a sweet tooth and doesn’t pay enough attention to his health. Like you and me, he likes to swig a can of beer in front of the ‘footie’ and thinks the Arctic Monkeys (or whoever) are ‘really cool’.
And just like you and me, he is a raging egomaniac; a sulker who flies off into blind rages at the merest trifle; and a power-crazed lunatic who harbours a deep, festering resentment at anyone who dares to question his judgment.
He’s normal, Gordon – just like you and me.
He sounds like my kind of guy.
he reminds me of an ex-boyfriend
I too think Gordo’s a normal guy just like I was once!
But I would say that ‘cos I’m Chief Inspector Dreyfus!
And I’m trying to kill myself without bananas
Banana split?
As a pill-popping, unbalanced egomaniac, I have to agree.
Yes, I too like to physically manhandle workmates and shout at them and bully them, just like Gordon. It’s normal, it’s what we normal people do
Normal people like to throw printers around the room and tell a lie to one group of people one day and then a completely contradictory lie to another group of people the very next day. Normal people put curses on entire industries, because that is what normal people do.
Not just industries, Mr Ned. Only a few weeks after Bruin jumped on the bandwagon the wheels fell off the global warming hoax. Uncanny.
So it’s official: we are now a banana republic.
jack straw squirming before the Chilcott Inquiry – what a shifty man he is!!
he was the worst student union leader ever snivelling self serving who did nothing for students and everything for himself
One of us then!
and now all students do fuck all
He has just the right profile and character to be Socialist, and especially to be a member of Brown and Blair’s coterie of corrupt incompentents.
As he went to a public school in Essex he also believes in equality of opportunity for labour lovies, which must be why he is MP for Blackburn.
THE HOONARABLE JACK STRAW
‘An utter disgrace to every high office he has held, Jack Straw has, typically enough, evaded the widespread loathing attracted by Blair, Brown, Mandelson, Campbell and the rest, despite being one of only three ministers to remain in the Cabinet since 1997′.
Don’t forget, his dad was a coward, his son dealt drugs and his brother is a sex offender. Nice family.
Barbara Castle got him to a t.
They didn’t let off those that fought for them in the First War.
I don’t think Jack’s dad’s trick of saying,
“Oi, I refused to fight you lads, I’m a big fan of your opera and hate the fucking English. We are looking forward to our new life in the East when resettled.”
” The British army. All chinless wonders. Isn’t that right Mendledome.”
was going to work.
My name is actually Jack Straw
And I’ll never ever be poor.
I’m sly and conniving
Ducking and diving
Just watch me talk of the War.
My name is actually Jack Straw
I don’t know what principles are for.
Drugs dealt by Will
Processed by the Bill
Brought a caution and nothing more.
SQUAAAWK!!! SOCIALISTS! (peck) socialists!!! (chirp) SOCIALISTS!! (flutter)
Agreed – excellent viewing!
I can bend any which way you want
Calorific value of 1 medium banana: 114 calories
Calorific value of 2 fingers of Kit Kat: 106.5 calories
Diet fail!
Gordon usually goes for the full fisting.
I expect all the KitKat workers to be made redi=undant in the very near future, shortly followed by plaque & pestilence laying waste to the chocolate empire.
That would be a plaque to commemorate Rowntree’s, yes ?
Now of course owned by Nestle’s, so McDoom’s curse could have wide ranging effects, just when we thought the Swiss Frank was safe.
Who’s Swiss Frank, your cousin?
Yeah I thought that looked odd, I guess it should be the Swiss francs, no relations.
Not too many people know the influence the Frankish Swiss have over their chocolate company.
brother of Swiss Tony
its well known gordon wears a corset to get that butch the bulldog look what he doesnt need is less kit kats but stronger elastic
Funny you should say that. My wife only remarked to me the other day that the Prime Mentalist was all “stuffed up just like he is wearing a woman’s corset”.
So it is true!
Does this mean there’s a Split between milliband and Gordo?
Get your coat.
LMFAO !!
I’ve pulled?
Here. Have 10p. You know the rest.
Sorry, wrong gender AC1
I was replying to GOM’s “Get your coat”(you’ve pulled) message. But Guido’s threading does leave alot to be desired. At least it can count properly now.
By the American comedian Guy Marks, from 1968: who could he possibly have had in mind?
Oh, Your Red Scarf Matches Your Eyes,
You Closed Your Cover Before Striking,
Father Had The Shipfitter Blues,
Loving You Has Made Me Bananas,
Oh, You Burnt Your Finger That Evening,
While My Back Was Turned,
I Asked The Waiter For Iodine,
But I Dined All Alone,
Oh, Your Red Scarf Matches Your Eyes,
You Closed Your Cover Before Striking,
Father Had The Shipfitter Blues,
Loving You Has Made Me Bananas.
Brown eating Bananas because when you are Prime Mentalist of a Banana republic, it is the right thing to do.
What is the betting Fyffes goes into administration as some Banana blight hits the crops this year.
The Jonah curse is among us
He loves bananas, he gets down on his knees and likes to unzip one (from a bag that is), feeling its firm and strong texture, then he enjoys peeling back the skin from one end smelling its fresh pungent aroma. then he likes to lick the end with just the very tip of his tongue, darting it around the top peeled back part. Then he runs the tip of his tongue around the top about an inch down, pushing his tongue into its juicy flesh, he can create a groove around the circumference, creating a helmet effect. Once the helmet is formed he likes to pop the helmet end fully into his mouth rolling his tongue around and around the end, the taste is divine. And then his bad arm (the one that has a mind of its arm and Gordon called Josef), takes hold of the banana and forces it further and further down his throat, “noooo Josef”, he tries to call out, but is forced to gag on the banana deep throating it as it rams up and down his throat faster and faster, “Josef noooooooo”, but the banana is forcing its way into his throat, turning to a warm mush……Gordon knows he must bite it to stay alive and not choke, he must fight the asphixia, but not yet… the feeling in his loins is rising, and naughty Josef is working his magic, “yaas oh yaas”, he cries as he gets to the vinegar strokes, on the banana, he bites down hard, and removes the end in one bite…. Elation, fireworks go off in his brain, and God whispers well done in his ear… Coming around he is glad as always that nobody has seen, and he smiles knowingly that there are some more bananas and some clean underpants in his desk drawer. The end.
You Bastard! You hacked my PC! I was gonna make some money out of foody porn.
you couldn’t write comedy like this .. gordo the great banana addict now. what a bunch this lot are
Do bananas make you cry, or just make your eyes water?
Moi Lard?
SE-LG. I hear you are a hero.
S. Moi Lard?
SE-LG. And that you tackle every challenge with dignity.
S. Moi Lard?
SE-LG. Tell me what that means.
S. Moi Lard?
SE-LG. And have a fresh young boy sent to my room.
Give the man a break. He is trying to support local farmers – someone told him they are from Fyffe
My mate Dave is a window cleaner and every month he has a job cleaning his local church windows. One day on top of his ladder cleaning away, he looks through the window and sees the Vicar having a wank over the font, a couple of seconds later the Vicar shoots his wad all over the place, looks up and sees Dave looking at him. Highly embaressed he picks up his trousers and runs off to the back of the church. After cleaning the windows, Dave goes and finds the Vicar to get paid and instead of the usual tenner Dave gets, the Vicar gives him Fifty Quid and begs Dave not to say anything to anyone. A month later Dave returns to the church to do the job again and the Vicar said to Dave that after his last visit the High Bishop came around to inspect the church and he commented on how clean the windows were. The bishop asked the Vicar how much he had paid to have them cleaned.”Fifty Pounds” said the Vicar, “Fucking hell” the bishop said “He must have seen you coming!!!!”.
8/10
is that in english or american points?
Belgian
What is the point of your crap postings?
Answer none.
Now fuck off.
Lord mandy is walking along the beach and finds a bottle washed up. He opens it up and a genie pops out.
“For releasing me I will grant you one wish”
Mandy produces a map of the world and asks for world peace and prosperity for all.
The genie replies that he is not a miracle worker and asks for something a little more realistic.
Lord Mandy asks that Brown become a great PM, that all the UK debt goes away and that the Labour party become the natural and worthy party of government loved by all.
The genie stretches out his hands, takes a deep breath and says;
“Gimme another look at that map.”
9/10!
Picture reminds me of Alan Partridge , ah haaaaaaa
Eating up to nine bananas a day, such as the Prime Mentalist is reported to be doing, can cause a build up of potassium. This can cause gastrointestinal problems, kidney failure or even cardiac arrest.
I live in hope. It’s the only way we’ll get rid of him.
God Richard Bacon is almost swapping spit with the vile Alistair Campbell right now. Bacon only reading our nice comments about his new boyfriend. You can hear Bacon cooing at Alistair.
Bacon allowing attacks on Tories (of course)
It’s on AlJaBeebya. What did you expect?
What you cannot see on radio is the magnum .44 that Campbell has pointed at the berk’s head.
No, it was “The Real Thing”.
http://www.lostwackys.com/images/products/coke.jpg
…must be one of his rasher interviewees?
Bacon the drug taker and ex Blue Peter presenter. What more could one expect
When is Straw going to breakdown and cry under interrogation by the Chilcott eunuchs.
And why are they being almost searching in their questioning of Straw, whereas Blair and Campbell were given a free run.
Perhaps Straw didn’t go to the right public school in their opinion.
Whatever, Straw is now talking a load of old bollocks.
‘Bullshit always baffles Brains’.
Wilkipedia
‘Straw’s first marriage, in 1968, to Teacher Anthea Weston ended in divorce in 1977. They had a daughter, born in March 1976, who died after five days because of a heart defect.’
Time for some blubbing from this foul parasite too?
NuLabour. Home of banana-loving death-ridden repulsive brokendown wretches.
“Eating up to nine bananas a day, such as the Prime Mentalist is reported to be doing, can cause a build up of potassium. This can cause gastrointestinal problems, kidney failure or even cardiac arrest.”
We can but hope.
Mr Brown said: “It’s not fair that so many people already struggling with the loss of independence – who have worked hard all their lives and saved for their retirement – are faced with the prospect of running down their savings or selling their homes to fund their care.”
well, that begs the question:
“seeing as you’ve been in power for 13 years, why the fuck did you create/maintain/worsen such an “unfair” system in the first place then, you sick fuck?”
It does indeed. And pray tell did the person posing questions ask precisely that?
It’s all that bitch Thatcher’s fault.
[Gordon] Because it filled our coffers and kept the minions in their place.
Surely there must be someone out there on a grassy knoll…….? Please?
So why should other people (including their own children and grandchildren)pay for their care?
How is that more fair?
I wonder if eating bananas will help reduce his misogynist attitude when he flings terrified secretaries from their chairs? And will it help reduce his habit of throwing fax machines around in a fit of demented rage?
Ladies and gentlemen, we have an ill-tempered, crooked, lying, incompetent, autistic, misogynistic sociopath running the country. But at least we only have 10 more weeks of him left.
….that long eh?
Well … he might slip on some of the banana skins he now flings around the office.
Fried Mars bars and Iron Bru five times a day will put an end to Browns ambitions.
only if thrown with zeal and good aim
Frozen mars bars are fucking hard
Frozen mars Bar? You wanna try a feckin’ Nokia.
Brilliant – just spilled my afternoon tea!!
Guido – dont’ you think it was interesting that harriet jumped in this morning to say CMD was prejudicing a trial, then Labour suspended its three MPs? She clearly had no idea what was coming…
Ferrets in a sack, once again. Broon panics, once again. The man with the poorest political instincts in Britain, is PM. How?
John Prescott was the only competition I had.
Well you did kind of ‘fix’ the competition by ensuring only lick-spittles, arseholes and incompetents were given any cabinet posts.
Jack Straw being an example of all three.
Correct – but it did not stop the useless Telegraph peddling the story for all it was worth.
Joke.
Mandy…… YUP?
Gordon……YEP.
Joke?
the 2 dogs
Yip Yap
I’ve got enough money to start my own Banana Republic. I’m rich off the blood of dead Iraqis.
I thought it was robbed Brits
ALERT Jack Straw’s stuttering, floundering and having a ‘mare on Sky right now (Chilcot)
HELP !!!
Would it help if I cried ???
He’s gonna cry!!!!
He IS whimpering!
He’s cringing and snivelling, tears must be imminent?
It’s the right thing to do.
I wonder if he does that trick where you peel a banana about half-way down, eat the end of the banana, then fold the stem part forwards over the top? It looks just like a yellow penguin, which takes us back to Kit-Kats.
Classic “Mc Mong”
http://shenyuepop.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/human-evoloution-parody.jpg
There’s always Ritolin.
The perfect thing to complement Gordon’s banana diet a: splash of this.
There was once an old man from Fife
Who married a fragrant young wife
thier sex life was twisted
she’d four finger fist-him
but now instead kitkats its bananas from fyffes
only 88 days to go, then you can cry as much as you like all the way back to scotland, dear Gord.
I went to scotland once, it was closed, they were all down the pub!
Jack Straw is speaking very slowly, stuttering and stammering with long pauses between his words.
Here is a lawyer choosing his words very carefully to satisfy the inquiry and not incriminate himself at the same time. Why is nobody on the panel interviewing him in more depth?
Because it’s a whitewash inquiry that was designed from the outset to be flimsy and worthless?
Typical Labour f**k-up – even their flimsy and worthless inquiry is causing problems!
‘Cos he’s a lawyer, and they’re not.
But not an International lawyer.
My usual software can’t record the Iraq Inquiry video stream – does anyone know how the videos (‘oral evidence’) can be downloaded?
try real player with the download button
I can’t wait for the election. Gordon will lose and I’ll finally be able to get a quickie divorce and end my career as a professional beard. I’ll get custody of the child. Of course the father will be allowed regular visits. But first I have to get his address from the clinic that provided his sperm.
Does an item of meat-moistening equipment have visitation rights?
The kids’ birth sign is pyrex.
I did not have sex with that woman.
A banana does it for me every time.
That La Senza ad is very distracting. I have to be careful Pauline isn’t around when I whack one off to it.
Feb. 8 (The Sun) — President Barack Obama invited Gordon Brown to a Feb. 25 meeting to discuss ways to get an increase in the world production of bananas through Congress.
Obama said he wants Gordon Brown “to put his ideas and bananas on the table.”
Great news for all warmists.We are still doomed.
Vancouver has the warmest winter in the history of…..er Vancouver.
Now get out there and scare your kids shitless.
Well, UAH global temperature posts the warmest January on record.
I have to wonder, were all the ocean temperatures for the UAH recorded on a collection of boats that happened to be berthed somewhere on the equator? Because by geographical area of landmass, most of the Northern Hemisphere suffered the coldest December and January for 30 years plus!
That’s just weather.
Who’s starting the betting that Labour’s defeat will finally push Harridan Hardperson over the edge and send her totally bonkers? I’m hoping she’ll go so nuts from losing power, she’ll start doing somersaults live on TV whilst singing “She’ll be coming round the mountain when she comes”
Yo aren’t really suggesting that up until now she’s been sane, are you?
Regrettably she is probably sane enough. The whole ‘equality’ thing is just a convenient bandwagon for her to ‘champion’. She no more believes in equality than the Grand Mufti of Jeddah.
There’s Labour imposing all female candidate short-lists to pack with starry-eyed blow-ins and yet she wants to set up her husband with a ‘safe’ seat. And this was the bloke who had to pretend he didn’t know what the arrangements were and where the money was coming from in the cash-for-peerages accounts.
I think you imply that she’s not bonkers already?
4 years for the bent bastard cop
You have the right to a mouth full of pillow while I give you an arse full of cock.
It should not be a cock. It should be a chairleg with razor-blades embedded in it.
I’m just picturing some thin lipped screws smirk as the twat asks for rule 43.
Evening Standard has a nice piece on Liz Forgan’s help a Stratford Cabbie programme.
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23803234-anger-at-pound-431-taxi-ride-for-head-of-arts-council.do
£431 for a cab ride to London, and did she pay for it herself?
She is a member of the Scott Trust, fully paid up guardianista/bbc self help brigade. Wiki biography implies that she has had little experience of work in the private sector.
She looks like she was dragged under the taxi from Stratford to London
Dizaei just got 4 years, described as a ‘criminal in uniform’, former head of the ‘black police’ association. been charged with criminal offences before, been investigated for corruption before.
Yet managed to reach that level in the ‘force’
Wonder why?
Accused investigating officers of ‘racism’ there really needs to be a rolleyes smilie on these blog comments.
Wait there is more – accused of spying for Iran, accused of using drugs and prostitutes……after his stretch inside he could stand as a Labour MP.
Four years for 600 quid and abuse of arresting powers? Whoever set the police on Damien Green (was it Jack Straw, Gordon Brown or Jacqui Smith) should be shitting broken glass in that case.
Maybe that is what is on Straw’s mind at Chilcott…
More likely to be that if Blair takes a contract on Straw after Straw’s performance at Chilcot, Straw will not be able to raise the funds to lift it.
That would focus his mind.
He is Iranian – won’t that be the smoking gun that will allow Brown to launch nuclear bombs by tomorrow morning at Aach My Dinner Jad and his mob.
This could be “Dodgy Dossier -The Return”
Don’t forget there are thousands like this scum in the Police Force,getting away with it.
April 2nd 2009 – Ian T*mlinson goes home and is m*rdered by one.
That other female Asian copper who was running a fucking brothel with her husband last year.
Are there any other types of brothel?
Oh yes!!
Don’t worry, Call Me Dave’s on the case. He’ll be sorting all this type of shit out once he’s in power – in between rolling out the red carpet for Africa’s gay community.
How else are they going to keep the number of people with AIDS rising?
Worth Repeating. Only 10% of Africans were Homosexuals last week. They now claim it’s 100%
I’m not good with figures cos I attend a bog standard comp, but what about the other three-quarters?
whatever happened to this case – police still hiding / losing the evidence?????
A high level of midi-chlorians?
O/T But when i read stories like this I tend to think ‘only under new labour would…’
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/8504308.stm
To me this man is a product of the New Labour obsession with race, equality and social engineering. I actually think that if the victim of this Dizaei chap had been me (i.e. white and english) this would not have gone anywhere. Its only because he tried to fit up another immigrant that I think this has been dealt with.
This is a man who has played the race/equality card far to many times and its only through that he has managed to become a senior police officer in my opinion.
oh, whilst typing this it has been announced he has been jailed for 4 years… Its a good job it wasnt Cherie Blair presiding or he would have got off with a small fine and the thanks of the court for doing a good job.
Slot gob would have PROMOTED him and insisted on 3 Hail Mary’s in the court.
Here’s my CV
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/lawandorder/7136169/Ali-Dizaei-timeline.html
Just like me, he’s being picked on cos he’s Asian.
He’s an Iranian Moz actually but still deserves it.
Anyone translate the rest of the jabber on here.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8504926.stm
I see that criminal piece of shit Commander Ali Dizaei has at long last been found guilty at Southwark Crown Court of Misconduct in Public office and attempting to Pervert the course of justice which should now finally rid the Met of one of its biggest shysters.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/lawandorder/7136172/Ali-Dizaei-found-guilty-of-misconduct-after-framing-businessman.html
Or promote him like the grotesque Cressida Dick…..what a name,you simply could not make it up,but obviously here parents did.
It will be the nearest to Dick she ever gets, I thang you, ba-dum tish!!
I used the same joke earlier but it was moderated.
She worked in a chip shop before joining the police or was it a Brazilian Takeaway?
As kids, our household was a hotbed of socialist activity.
Big name union leaders would eat us out of house and home while calling my dad a ‘southern gobshite’.How he laughed.
I remember a couple of guys from the Broadwater farm community defense committee visiting.
My father was beguiled by the stories of police brutality, and one of the kind fellows demonstrated police choke holds on my mother upstairs.The banging was terrible.
Being sat on the knee of Roy Hattersly and given the benefit of his wisdom has made me and Dave what we are today.
Wibble.
Why are we picking on them just because corruption is part of their culture?
What’s the other part?
Child Abuse.
He has been suspended on full pay since September 2008. I hope when they sack him, they backdate it to that point and get the money back that this piece of shit has been paid.
I can’t help it, the phrase ‘Iranian policeman’ just doesn’t inspire any confidence. It sounds like ‘Biritsh cuisine’, ‘Australian culture’, ‘American chocolate’ or ‘Jewish sporting hero’ to me.
an interesting part in all of this is the misconduct in public life bit. What the fuck do the MPs think they’ve been doing all this time and shouldn’t all of them be charged with the same?
He’s been investigated twice by the IPCC…..that’s not the same……surely can’t be.
If Britain would like to resurrect its manufacturing industry, get rid of Industrial Tribunals – http://tinyurl.com/yj89xpb
All bi men obviously have a honeymoon period for a while after they get married, where the fruits of the forest abound. Then it’s just too much temptation to get back to unzipping something more substantial, tasty and phalic.
O/T but I am reading the biography of Duff Cooper.
This man took his wife,Diana Manners, to the Royal Opera House one night,said he was quickly going round to some friends,went round to another Diana,had it off and then got back to collect the married Diana by 11pm.
And he went on to be a trusted Secretary of State for War etc etc.
Ahh,those were the days.
If that was the duff one, imagine what the fully-working Cooper must have been like!
BROON’S SYNDROME
Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by dramatic, emotional behavior, in the same category as antisocial and borderline personality disorders.
Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include:
Believing that you’re better than others
Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
Exaggerating your achievements or talents
Expecting constant praise and admiration
Believing that you’re special and acting accordingly
Failing to recognize other people’s emotions and feelings
Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
Taking advantage of others
Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
Being jealous of others
Believing that others are jealous of you
Trouble keeping healthy relationships
Setting unrealistic goals
Being easily hurt and rejected
Having a fragile self-esteem
Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional
Although some features of narcissistic personality disorder may seem like having confidence or strong self-esteem, it’s not the same. Narcissistic personality disorder crosses the border of healthy confidence and self-esteem into thinking so highly of yourself that you put yourself on a pedestal. In contrast, people who have healthy confidence and self-esteem don’t value themselves more than they value others.
When you have narcissistic personality disorder, you may come across as conceited, boastful or pretentious. You often monopolize conversations. You may belittle or look down on people you perceive as inferior. You may have a sense of entitlement. And when you don’t receive the special treatment to which you feel entitled, you may become very impatient or angry. You may insist on having “the best” of everything — the best car, athletic club, medical care or social circles, for instance.
But underneath all this behavior often lies a fragile self-esteem. You have trouble handling anything that may be perceived as criticism. You may have a sense of secret shame and humiliation. And in order to make yourself feel better, you may react with rage or contempt and efforts to belittle the other person to make yourself appear better.
When to see a doctor
When you have narcissistic personality disorder, you may not want to think that anything could be wrong — doing so wouldn’t fit with your self-image of power and perfection. But by definition, narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of your life, such as relationships, work, school or your financial affairs. You may be generally unhappy and confused by a mix of seemingly contradictory emotions. Others may not enjoy being around you, and you may find your relationships unfulfilling.
If you notice any of these problems in your life, consider reaching out to a trusted health care provider or mental health provider. Getting the right treatment can help make your life more rewarding and enjoyable.
I’m far too busy saving the World, prole.
I did notice at this morning’s cancer propaganda speech (I simply could not stomach listening to the whole thing as I had more enjoyable things to do, like eating a freshly laid dog turd),that Brown was continuously getting the words of his speech wrong.
And there was a strange thunping noise that someone else referred to – it was Brown thumping the lectern.
Can you imagine the rages that this monster must have if anything goes against him – no wonder the stories of the bully boy Brown are so widespread – he is a grotesque monster.
you appear to know far too much about Gordon McTwat..are you sure you’re not breaching client confidentiality ?
Maybe Gordon has been reading this website:http://bit.ly/dwID4o
“Increase your hormone levels (and imagination) with bananas. With high levels of potassium and vitamin B to increase sex hormone production in our bodies, bananas are very popular for an aphrodisiac. It is widely believed that the similar shape between a banana and a male penis is the main reason for the banana being on the aphrodisiac lists.”
all the better to screw us all with?
A P.M. from way north of the Trent,
ate bananas until his knob bent.
To save himself trouble he put it in double,
but instead of coming he went.
I once knew a girl who’s party trick was to get a peeled banana into her mouth sideways and before you ask, no it wasn’t slotgob. Funny though she never did let me get anything else in it.
It would have been like sticking it in a letterbox.
Gordon is used to bananas.He was brought up in Fife.
He’s just a Geest in England
Somebody is guilty of plantain him here.
I think we might have identified one of Gordon’s problems – it’s all those banana skins he keeps stepping on
And his eyesight was damaged during a football match when he was caught unawares and struck in the face by a banana shot.
Your all racist twats
You’ll not be currying favours for a while.
Can you also play the Islamophobic card ??
I wonder if he will be radicalised in prison? His politically correct bollocks has infiltrated so far into prison that there are terrorist cells being run from prison that cannot be touched for fear of the screws being had up for racism. I wonder if any of his brethren will be waiting to train him to strap a bomb on?
He won’t have a fun time.
Nothing to do with being a phob, here’s a moderate in action, welcome to UK 2010
http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2010/extreme-brainwashing-islamic-kid-p1.php
355 Hum the first line, and I’ll busk it.
wheres me teatowel ?
Bully for you.
Sorry if already posted but
Met chief Ali Dizaei JAILED for four years for perverting the course of justice
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1249382/Ali-Dizaei-GUILTY-perverting-course-justice.html?ITO=1708&referrer=yahoo
Hahahahahahaha!!! Hhoohohohohohohoh… Mwhahahahahahahaha!!!
Dont bend down to pick the soap up eh lad!
perhaps, just perhaps, the worm has turned
Swwwooooosssshhh…
He always was a foul corrupt piece if shit. The Met wanted to nail him far earlier but couldn’t so long as the politically correct, political place-man Blair was at the helm.
I hope he also has to pay back every penny he screwed out of the Met for alleged racial discrimination.
I have an idea for a new reality TV show. Watching these establishment crooks in prison getting a good kicking, or “falling down the stairs” as it should be called.
The show could be called “I am an establishment crook, watch me fall down the stairs”
That would be a ratings winner!
Dizaei bites the dust…much improved result after the last charade. Wasn’t Vazzy baby and his bent ‘bought on the internet’ qualified solicitor involved ? slimey bastard deserves all he gets…hopefully plenty inside
Send him down
Plus of course bent coppers have a very rough time in jail. There’s bound to be a few he’s fitted up over the years in there.
He’ll have to hide in the secure wing with the nonces.
Re MAOI-s, Gordon better be careful with the skins, as they one of the things that dangerousy react with these happy pills.
http://www.gp-training.net/pal/therapy/maoi.htm:
“Avoid broad bean pods (the beans themselves may be eaten), avocado pears, banana skins (the banana flesh may be eaten) and canned figs.”
He could always try smoking them for a legal high.
Who said he was actually eating them ?
don’t warn the twat ..in fact encourage him to take anything you can think of to get the most dangerous reaction possible….. hopefully at best spontaneous self combustion
What did you expect a fucking over grown APE to eat ?
Apes are intelligent compared to Maximus Imbecilicus McSnot but he remains yellow and bent.
LOL
OT, Jack Straw is currently blaming the French and Claire Short for everything at the Chilcott whitewash.
Normally i’d be all for blaming the froggy bastards but not this time.
Some big boys came along, did all the damage, then ran way before I could stop them. Honest.
Just tuned into Chilcot Inquiry and enjoying watching this muslim bird giving the jew Straw a good slapping.
Isn’t she a Hindu?
They’re all the same aren’t they?
Straw giving evidence is like trying to nail jelly to a wall.
Another of his unctious”bonmots” was that it was the neo-cons to blame too for rushing matters. ” Look, Sir Laurence (it’s Sir Roderic actually -Jack that asked the question but never mind) I’m not saying that if we could have made the neo-cons take a vacation in the country without a telephone things wouldn’t have been a lot easier.Of course they would !” Ooh he’s a card our Jack is !!
The French did veto the second resolution. They also said that “so long as the inspectors on the ground are continuing their search and doing the job that the UN has tasked them with, and so long as they continue to receive total co-operation that the UN inspectors are reporting that they are receiving, then they would continue to veto military action as there was no need for it whatsoever, because the inspectors only required another 4 months to finish their search.”
They also said that if the UN weapons inspectors found any evidence of WMD programs or hidden stocks of WMD, or if Saddam stopped co-operating then the French would fully support military action against Iraq.
The French could not rule out Saddam having WMD, but from seeing the same intelligence estimates as the USA, Britain, and others had put forward to the UN, they also said that they saw nothing that proved Saddam retained WMD.
The French were correct.
They will be insufferable if they ever find out.
No, They will be MORE insufferable if they ever find out.
La vie en rose.
No. makes no difference.
We always knew we were right.
And they will be more insufferable from Dover
And thr French want to shack up with the British forces…..they don’t learn do they.
I thought that was just a british mp wanting to borrow helicopters.
Dammit, I hate it when the cheese eating surrender monkeys are right, it goes against all my principles as an Englishman to admit that.
DAMN YOU BLAIR, DAMN YOU FOR MAKING THE OFFICE OF PRIME MINISTER MORE REPREHENSIBLE THAN THE FRENCH!!!!!!
Tony Blair: lower than a frenchman.
you could just point out that the irish, germans and russians were right too. Ah. perhaps as a true englishman you’d prefer to praise the french.
(PS: Chirac is actually my third least favourite frenchman, however he was smack bang in the middle of WW2, and actually asked to go to war in Algeria.)
More BBC Bias:
“Up until now the prevailing wisdom has been that all parties have suffered equally from the expenses scandal” – Gary O’Donoghue, BBC political correspondent.
Well a clear majority of the MPs caught troughing are labour. The entire top 10 in the amount stolen in cash terms are all labour MPs
Yes, many tories are involved and the tories do indeed have there share of serious troughers, but nowhere near as many as labour.
But the BBC want to report that both parties are equally as bad.
What a load of bullshit!
Oh and it is by no means a coincidence that whenever a labour MP, or a BBC correspondent raise all this sleaze, that they only mention duck-ponds and moats. They never go on about back-bedrooms in someone-else’s house claimed as a “main residence”. I am still waiting for jackboots Jacqui to be tried for that fraud. Trying to create an image in the public’s mind that this is actually a tory scandal, rather than a labour led, whole house scandal.
spot on.
The lovely Ben Bradshaw blaming the tories, and defending the indefensible – (new labour).
The word ‘wisdom’ is a typo for ‘propaganda’.
personally bananas or kit kats i just wish he would fuck off and die
Julie McBride and Andrew McKay are taking a lot of flack, but Sweaty Balls and his ladyboy wife deserve it just as much, and there hasn’t been a peep about them. The whole damn shower need to come clean, and repay the money. None of them deserve a golden goodbye, apart from a bucket of piss over their heads.
Whats yellow and smells of bananas ?
Monkey sick !
Two years in chokey for Ali Dizaei. That made my day! What an utter Hunt. I met him once and the guy just oozes slime. I suspected him of being dodgy long before all the accusations came out. He’s finally got his comeuppance. Fucking try-hard wideboy. I hope the other inmates find out he was a copper. Dizaei Rascal will have to suck for his dinner in the slammer.
I think it is FOUR years in the Chokey.
What a fucking result. What a fucking Dog he is.
I thought in our mad penal system that 4 years automatically meant 2 years unless you managed to reoffend while inside.
No, he’s got 2 years inside and 2 years suspended on licence. His career wll still be fucked anyway. When he comes out, he’ll just be a regular thick wideboy instead of a wideboy with police powers. Maybe he’ll stand as a Labour MP. They like people who are corrupt thugs.
perhaps he could use a ‘straw’..hairlip won’t help
they all have tellys now, they’ll know, i’ll shout it over the wall if needed
This is a clear case of racism.
No ‘guset’ in our country would do nuffin wrong.
Innit.
I was savagely attacked with a kebab and intend to appeal against this unjust verdict
Iz it coz you is Iranian?
No, it’s coz you is a fucking sleazy wideboy Hunt. Bye Bye, Dizaei Rascal.
When Labour lose in 10 weeks, I hope Harridan Hardperson becomes leader. That’ll guarantee Labour will be out of power for at least 10 years!! Go on Harriet, stand for leader! You can do it!
You’ll still know where to find her then – in the House of Corruption.
You have to wonder at the collective wisdom of a party that contrived to make Gordon Brown leader without even bothering to have an election. We all kknow that Brown’s judgement is flawed and that he is unfit to govern, but there must be a lot of Labour MPs with equally questionable judgement too, to allow this man to become PM. It would not surprise me in the least if they decide upon Harriet when Gordon’s catastrophic premiership comes to an end.
There are very deep divisions in the Labour party over the current leadership, and who should replace him. Brown an d co are having to look over their shoulders all the time, to see who might be planning to knife him in the back next. There’s even talk of another coup attempt before the election.
they’ll never put the hairminge in office as leader..lightweight brain,terrible performer and won’t take it up the chuffer box
I’ll do anything if I’m desperate enough
If I support an invasion of Iran, can I have another human rights envoy job, like when Tony made me human rights envoy to Iraq in return for supporting the war? By the way, I’m no one’s patsy.
Don’t remind me of that detestable woman.
Someone mention pasty?
I think this settles the matter:
Splendid william “oh ive never yes ive never seen a straight bannana ” nice tune to do some decorating to .
Ok all weed need is footage of ed davy ratting on us on lisbon and photo of clegg and his jaw moving like a terry gillian cartoon , there we have lib dem anthem .
I demands a ensuite wiv no dusky buggers close by. I will not be showerin for 4 years as I have a dreadful habit of dropping soaps.
I will be keeping all of the compo gained under the watchful fatherhood of Iain Blair, the Dodgy Coppers Copper.
Ali Dizaei arrives in prison !
he is shown to his cell
on entering he is confronted by a 6’8″ 25 stone convict
Hello my name is Ben what’s yours ?
Errr Ali !
Well Ali which bed would you like top or bottom bunk ?
Err top please Ali replies
And which cup would you like Ali Red one or Blue one he says?
Err i’ll have the Blue one
Ali think’s it’s not that bad in here after all
After about an hour the big guy say’s
“In here we like to play games ” like mummies and daddies !
Which one would you like to be Ali ?
Ali thinks Oh shit what am i going to do now ?
so he thinks and says errr i’ll be daddy !
Oh ok thats good says the big guy
Now come over here and suck mummies Dick !
Jack the Straw organised this case to alleviate the heat on him during the Chilcott inquiry. A thought too far?
‘Do you know I was once a senior copper?’
While his cell-mate says:
‘No, but you can hum it into the pillow while I ream your arsehole out’
What will Brown do next when he loses the election? Will he
A) Write his memoris
B) Go into the House of Lords
C) Join the Tories in a desperate bid to cling onto some sort of power
D) Kill himself
He will end up in Broadmoor !
Answer:- A, B, and C
Well – three out of four ain’t bad.
Shit as New Labour is, they did give us that MILF Caroline Flint. You can tell she’s a real goer in the sack. Hopefully she’ll lose her seat and get her own TV show where she can flash as much thigh and cleavage as she likes. Poor autistic asexual misogynist Gordon, he didn’t realize what a honey he had in his cabinet.
…Is Nadine into the GMILF category?
Just 12 weeks till Brown’s out and Cameron’s in! Yipppeeee! And if any New Labour trolls are here, shouldn’t you be following Directive 452 from Millbank to read Herr Campbell’s memoirs all the way through and then post a glowing review on the internet? Run along before you’re sent to New Labour re-education camp, where they’re currently still re-educating that Holocaust survivor who dared to heckle Jack Strawman at the New Labour Rally, sorry, I mean conference.
You have to wonder whether this is an attempt to disrupt the MAOI-diet meme exploiting the confusion over banana pulp (no issue) with a case report once of an MAOI adverse incident involving banana peel.
It also begs the question, if the man is a kit-kat fiend why did he not mention this in the Mumsnet biscuit-gate incident…
Ha ha ha, guess where this has been!
485 Or, since this seems to have turned into ‘Caption Contest’,
‘Here, Gordon, good Gordon: fetch!’
Is david (I got no bottle) Milliband saying” has anyone seen Peter Lord Mandelbum he`s dropped this, I don`t want it it smells like it`s gone off” oooohhhh saucy
I prefer it that way.
Clears the passage for the banana.
Watch Andrew neil on todays DP show bbc Iplaye you hear him say of camera RE big blubber Al he says “so he doesn`t have to answer the bloody question” nice 1 andy
Doctor! doctor !
Yes what seems to be the problem ??
I like Bananas.
Well there is nothing wrong with that I like Bananas.
You do !
You must come and see my collection I have thousends of them !
[...] What a bastard eh? [...]