Friday Caption Contest (Devine Edition)
The Iranian Model is Hitler | Lawrence J. Haas
No.10′s Andrew Cooper Should Look at this Poll | Douglas Carswell
Livingstone Has Form on Homophobia | ConservativeHome
Investors HBack Over RBS Meddling | CityAM
Riddled With It | Pink News
I Went Mad in the Seventies | Ken
Guy Newsroom Splits | Indy
Polly’s Voodoo Polling | UK Polling Report
Labour SpAd Backs the Bill | Mark Wallace
Guido Goes for the Lobby | Press Gazette
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Max Clifford says…
“Most people want to read nasty things about people, not nice things.”
DisgustedOfMitcham2 says:
Maybe if they really wanted to “decontaminate the Labour brand” with business people, they shouldn’t have totally buggered up the economy?
Just a thought.
Err…soz Guido, but WTF is it?
You got me bang to rights – the porn collection is over there.
Jim Devine Channel 4 interview, car crash telly.
Video here —-> http://tinyurl.com/ygxr9um
and here – he’s lost his fucking mind
http://bastardoldholborn.blogspot.com/2010/02/jim-devine-loses-his-mind-live.html
Quote: ‘this happened when I worked in the Union this happened when I worked in the Health Service’
Absolutely pure comedy gold.
Unbefuckinglievable!
Oh wait a minute – its Labour.
\\\\Sits back down////
Gordo would do no better if he tried to give a truthful answer
“Unhappy-looking unknown older man in bland suit points at cupboard.”
“Over there’s where I keep my trough”
good idea but bit slow and not over funny old shag
it is wierd. That air raid siren still gets a reaction from me.
The mantra of the beast:
“Going forward, we will do the right thing for hard-working families”
Heheh.. Very good
New memo shows Blair lied at Chilcot enquiry. War was planned by Blair and Bush 1 year before invasion
http://bastardoldholborn.blogspot.com/2010/02/breaking-blair-lied-at-chilcot.html
Of course he lied.
See all those shirts, that Clerk in the Fees Office authorised payment for all of them.
And one day while looking for a fresh baby to eat, I discovered the gateway to Narnia.
Ah canny keep shittin ma breeks -ah’m running out o’ spares-Wonder if I can claim for a new arse oan ma expenses?
‘Wud ay look better in this suit or me blue one over there when I’m in the dock’?
Scottish Zanulabour Working Class Thieves are fucked !
stationary cupboard over here..
De ye like ma shelving?
OK let’s start by claiming my cell as a second home, next I need a 42″LCD over there…
Can you take out a second mortgage on a cell
Certainly dear boy, how much are you looking for??
We can do the curtains for 10K and redecorate it for only another 20K.
Flocking marvellous
great!
I normally wipe by dick on that shirt afterwards.
Lol !
Yes we want the shirt of your back Mr Devine.
“Welcome to my new home, rather cramped and enclosed though”
That’s the closet with all the skeletons in it.
John Terry leaves shirt behind shock
Get the fuck over there.
And assume the position.
*
*
*
*
IN BLHOOUWSZE SHAMPLAY
ASSO ASSAY EYESAY
EYE SAYGE
SEW EYE SAY
SOSSIDGJHIS$2Z
STUMPKIN
*
ASTA
Troughing gave me this fine triple chin and this Pickles-esque gut.
So where the fuck has all that shelving gone to?
I hope I get interviewed by Inspector Guido, he let Yeo off the hook on Newsnight…
But I asked for a private members cell
Career’s down the toilet….
Bugger – a blue shirt!
And they thought I was Labour cos I was troughing.
Look I told you I had the shelving work done, honest I paid £2,326 for it.
“I don’t care if you’re Osama bin fecking Laden, that’s my bunk.”
“It’s a privilege…”
“Yes, mate, could you put the plasma over there while I think about where we can have the other one delivered to. Um…..you don’t do fitted wardrobes, do you?”
“In the name of God GO… And iron my shirts woman…”
I can assure the House there was 60 metres of shelving there when I left this morning.
Me? I don’t DO dirty laundry!
Must be what they call Devine retribution.
You just leave your clothes over there, while I get changed….
“No, Mr Devine, this is the sort of cuffs you will be wearing”.
I may be old, but I still get hot.
That’s the closet with all the skeletons in it . . . and the door won’t shut properly.
“Yes, that cupboard is about the same size as my cell will be.”
What do you mean, you paid for it and you don’t like that shade of blue?
‘Och, wee Gordy’s ‘angry’ are ye? Get in bloomin’ line, yah too late, mood misreading, self-obsessed numptie’
“And that’s all my friends dry cleaning I get done for them,no receipts needed.
Now let me show you all the shelving I’ve got stacked upstairs.”
I’ve become such a bloated trougher I can no longer get in any of those.
That stuff there, that’s the furniture Michael Connartist sold me.
And it’s shit.
Good thing i wasn’t paying for it.
Chaytor, get back in your second home.
Simply devine.
“So zis ees where the leetle girl was sleeping that night. Zee patio doors were not forced and zere were blood spots behind this settee. In exactly, zee place where zee sniffer dogs re-acted to cadaver and blood scent……oh hang on, this isn’t who I think it is, is it…..?
Heather’s in there, officer.
You’ll find Heather’s body in there, officer.
Heather Brooke? No, this is my Swedish PT.
Sorry but Heather Brooke is INVINCIBLE.
She is the 2010 version of the Supermarine Spitfire, a F-15C w/ a WA tailcode that can swoosh through the sky and shoot down ducks & secrets like Douglas Bader… and if I may say so with better legs.
Perhaps the message should be, “Over there is my shotgun and buckshot for shooting ducks. Problem is, every damn time I build a duckhouse some ginger b—h in a F-15 shoots it up.”
Yes I’ll take the shirt off your back, put over there with the others.
The Tyrannosaurus Rex had almost disguised itself as a human, but the tiny arm was such a giveaway.
Devine: ‘Bad boy,naughty boy, get back in your bed’
Fido:’Fuck off,you aint my dad’
Fat thieving c.unt takes the piss with his Thalidomide comedy routine.
Trotter transplant a success
I shouldn’t be compared to a pig.
They are thoughtful, intelligent animals who make a really positive contribution to our quality of life. I am none of those things.
Now get out there and clean my moat
I can see what you are up to.
That pink sark hingin up insae mines, it belongs tae mah boyfriend!
What I do is dress up in one of these tradesman’s overalls so those dizzy pricks in the expenses office think the bill getting handed in is legit. Now cmon and I’ll treat you to a pie and a pint.
If you think im going into the naughty corner you would be wrong.
Over there’s the stuff taxpayers bought me this week!
“THAT’s 6 metres of the shelving, and the other 60 is currently holding up all ma empties.
The fucking noo”.
Why are you looking at me? That horrible rotten smell is coming from over there.
“see you, son, you’ve just gotta raise yon arm, kind o’ like the boy Lenin done, and that Huhne did alright, likesay, I mean, wi’ uncle Joe, like eh”
OK Elliot, the bogs over there and I managed to get some curtains put over the bars.
The PM’s been taking the shirt off your back for years, and he’s finally thrown in the towel.
Panorama:MPs squalor special.
“65K plus expenses goes facking nowhere mate…look at the mold in that corner eh,facking outrageous. You fink barry obama would put up wiv it?
My arse he would,and, and me facking furniture..its shit I tell ya.I’m gonna complain to my facking MP”
I’m a little tea pot
Short and stout
Here is my handle
Here is my spout
I’m a tube of toothpaste
on the shelf.
I get so lonesome
all by myself.
When it comes to night time,
then I shout.
Pull the lid off,
squeeze me out.
“As you can see, I have never claimed for a cleaner”
I’m daddy tonight, Eliot, and you are mummy so get the ironing done, bitch.
Lloyd Grossman – ‘Through the cell keyhole.’
“Now THAT’s real workmanship. I charged it to the taxpayer all by myself.”
“and over there are the negatives of Gordon and the rocking horse.”
There’s only one cupboard per ex-MP. I’m in the bottom one.
Labour: my arse
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/labour/7165655/Ricky-Tomlinson-to-stand-for-parliament-against-Labour-candidate.html
I don’t blame him. She’s got nothing to do with Liverpool.
Urgh!
Tomlinson is a perfect example of a fucking ugly socialist. Hard left, eh!
I’d give him a hard left, right in the fucking balls!
And he’s about as funny as cancer, that goes for that c*nt Izzard as well.
Why do you want to establish contact with Tomlinson’s genitals? Were you incorrectly weaned as a child?
Meh.
I don’t agree with his views necessarily, but he was a Trade Unionist way back and at least seems to stick to his principles.
It’s the trendy celeb lefty wankers I can’t abide – middle class backgrounds, big house in nice areas pretending, to be part of the downtrodden masses. They can have their views but don’t pretend to be something you’re not just to be ‘cool’.
Tomlinson is filthy rich, the only difference is he’s a scruffy c´nut looking and stinking like a Liverpudlian docker even when in his villa in Spain
As well as a five-year-old detached house in the Aigburth suburb of Liverpool, the Tomlinsons own a two-bedroom townhouse in Albir, near Benidorm, and a three-bedroom pent-hous at Altinkum on Turkey’s Aegean coast, where they have also ordered a second, to be finished next year.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/property/article-1187692/Actor-Ricky-Tomlinson-building-riverside-retreat-flat-pack-chalet-Estonia.html#ixzz0egEJKBGR
STOP PRESS
Blair lied at chilcot Inquiry
http://bastardoldholborn.blogspot.com/2010/02/breaking-blair-lied-at-chilcot.html
He may be hard left but at least the man’s got principles and he’s an honest Commie. Went to prison for his beliefs too.
Can you imagine any of the current shit shower standing up to be counted?
Not a chance.
In his 2003 autobiography, he admitted that between 1968 and 1972, prior to his involvement with trade union politics, he was a member of the National Front
Way to go Ricky. That’s the way to treat these fucking wanker careerist blow-ins. ‘Euan Blair’s friend’. FFS.
That part of the story is a bit crap. She’s got all sorts of Labour party connections and is clearly a parachuted candidate.
Its just a bit of tabloid fluff to mention E.Blair-ironically the Daily mail did a better job- it appears the closest link is being seen drinking together 6 years ago.
Oh and did you forget to mention she’s Sion Simon’s girlfriend? Small world!
And how, in fuckity fcuks name, can you be selected for a Liverpool seat and NOT know who Bill Shankly was? Or who sang Ferry Cross the Mersey?
I mean do these numbnuts EVER do any fucking research?
Neoptism is…never having to know jack-shit.
Who the F*ck was Bill Shankly?
Oh ya, I think he was like one of those funny type men from the past who spoke with a common accent and spat in the street – amazing yeah
For some time, many of us have wondered who is ‘Jack Shit’? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, ‘You dont know Jack Shit’ Well, thanks 2 my efforts u can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Shit is the only son of Awe Shit who married Oh Shit, the owners of Knee Deep ‘N’ Shit Inc. In turn Jack Shit married No Shit. The couple had 6 children: Holy Shit, Giva Shit, Fulla Shit, Bull Shit, & the twins Deep Shit & Dip Shit. Deep Shit married Dumb Shit, a high school drop-out. After 15 years, Jack & No Shit got divorced & she married Ted Sherlock & became No Shit Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Shit married Shit-Happens. Bull Shit travelled the world & returned home with an italian bride, Pisa Shit. So tell me now you don’t know Jack Shit!
Luciana BERGER – is this the latest reincarnation of the Borgia family ?
Not unless she’s converted and become one of those “New Christians”!
Mazeltov!
Luciana Berger, 28, is described by the Torygraph as the girlfriend of
Sion-cunting-Simon – he managed to get a girlfriend?
Now she’s got what she wants (safe seat) she’ll drop him like a ton of hot bricks.
I reckon Ricky Tomlinson must be good odds for that seat, against a public-school champagne socialist who’s never heard of Shankly.
First of hopefully many well-known local independents challenging ‘safe’ seats with troughers or parachutist incumbents.
BTW there’s a good rumour going round Rutland (my parents’ constituency) that a ‘respected local’ will stand against the somewhat unpopular Alan Duncan – Would be so good if that fucker loses his seat!
Go Ricky Go Ricky go go go !
I’ll say. Duncan defeated! Now that would be good indeed. Any idea who the possible opponent is?
Anon, if I knew who it was I would have given him £100 for the campaign and printed his name here, just in case anyone wished to follow my example!
Watch this space!
She must be a retard !
beard
I’m pissed off with all this shit being written about Toyotas. As a satisfied Prius owner, I just unplug the extension cable when I want to fucking stop.
I think you will find it is a lexus (which also has a problem with the brakes).
The only Lexus that had a problem was the US ES350, which is a rebadged Toyota Camry, not sold in Europe. Dealers were told to change the carpets, but the hire car in the report had not had this done.
yes i went on the totota joke web sites as well
but the jokes were all shite and not worth posting
as you can see !
yes i went on the totota joke web sites as well
but the jokes were all shite and not worth posting
as you can see ! American humour = fucking rubbish
” I’m trying to get used to living in confined spaces”
**Applause**
My new Toyota is great, didnt know it had cruise control?
Any ideas how to turn it off?
“The car in front is a Toyota”
Because the accelerator’s jammed and the fuckin’ brakes don’t work.
Great slogan, slitty-eyes !
O/T
TERRY AXED AS CAPTAIN – GOOD
Now for Brown
So
So!
My client will not be recieving 1.4 million from Chelsea in a secret payment and therefore I shall not be getting my 20% of it
Just had John Terry in, he’s bought his wife a Toyota Prius – Bloody nice bloke!
So what!
Looks like you’ve fallen for this story too.
John Terry sacked on the same afternoon that the expenses scandal reaches a climax – coincidence??
Potential civil war in Pakistan? Jet strikes in the west bank? Israel warning Syria?
I wish John Terry well as the captain of the England football team
Ahm tellin ye, it wasne mah fault.
Him that did it, wee Gordy – he’s hidin’ in yon closet aine he wonna come oot.
Robin Cook is followed by Robbing Crook.
Brilliant!!
I have to say the girl in that Anne Summers ad is a bit of a fox. Strangely reminiscent of Nigella Lawson but without the extra six stone.
“In a few months time, my arsehole’s going to be the size of that cupboard over there”
Its already going from sixpence to half a crown, five times a second.
So much so when I fart, either people think it’s an earthquake or only dogs can hear me
now listen I’ll say this once again…I did not have sexual relations with that woman…jacqui smith nor with the blow up in that cupboard
Devine Retribution.
I
Devine Comedy
Just this once, I am with you on this one, Devil.
The Chief Rabbi agrees…
Trinny & Suzannah finally admit they are unable to make an individual more socially acceptable !
Is that the geezer who played a cat on Celebrity Big Brother?
George Galloway
He was looking old and fucked on Newsnight last night.
Yes but he told them c*nts what he thought of them !
That’s the one!
Respect!
It was a stunt I’m really embarrased about, luckily my day job is trousering money from Paletinian terrirists.
Ah yes, one mans terrorist anothers freedom fighter and all that stuff, I still remember when we were killing British troops people thought we were terrorists, now look at us!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menachem_Begin
But he can’t have been a terrorist – Maggie met him and shook his hand, the murdering bastard.
Carrington always was a wise old cove…</a.
Takes the shirts off my back Kelly!
Didn’t take long for him to get his face in the trough. He was only elected to parliament in 2005.
He had however a lifetime of scamming. Previously, a Unison official.
Previously, a Unison official. Well, that explains everything, a lifetime of scamming.
Yes put the slop bucket in the corner there would you. And can I have a receipt for it? Couldn’t add a couple of zeros could you?
Hi! . . . . I just want you to know that I am very, ….. very, ……. very ……. rich!
And me missus, – she’s done pretty well too.
But in comparison, this poor sad f * * * * * has bugger all.
But hey! – Trust me!! I’m a straight kinda guy!
And all b’cos YOU probably voted Noo_Lie_Bore!
“It’s all fucking MFI crap – I just added a few thousand quid on the receipt.”
ma arms too short tae get in ma aen pocket
I remember Martin Brundle say that David Coultard was”first out of the taxi and last to the bar.”Scots are tight with their money:Fact.
Eh lad thou ‘asn’t be t’ Yorkshire then!!
Excellent!
Jaqui
£1500 poons a week and yae can sleep there
…As long as yer man doesnae keep me awake wi his wanking.
The Chief Rabbi agrees…
You have to feel a bit sorry for this guy – not only has he been caught up in the expenses scandal, he looks a bit like George Galloway..
Unbelievably , if what I’ve read is right, this man is only 56 years old. He looks ancient.
That’s what having several homes and being on the fiddle does for you…
Its the Picture of Dorian Grey without the benefit of the portrait in the attic.
that’s a diet of deep fried mars bars and young boys for you…
Did you say ‘feel sorry’?
FFS.
Aye! – yon comrade was’nae as bright as ma’sel.
Coz ah’ve niva been cort ye ken,
An’ nuthn’s ma fult ye un’stn!
You’ll find David & Elliot hiding in that cabinet.
‘Progressive’ MP shows off the shirts he’s taken from taxpayer’s backs.
An ma cell at Barlinnie willnae be as big as yon cupboard
I shouldn’t be compared to a pig.
They are thoughtful, intelligent animals who make a really positive contribution to our quality of life. I am none of those things.
I just steal taxpayer’s money and say nice things about Gordon Brown so that when I get caught thieving, he will say nice things about me. Just wait until he gets back to No 10. I will have his total confidence in all that I do. He will say so.
It’s all Thatcher’s fault and it started in America…
a’m desgusteed that a’m being maade a scapegoat for the scandale of expunses
it wer no me…me mate gordo said dip yer wick boy afor the flame is snuffed..and besides when i wer at unison we ferking stuck together snitchey rats these investigater basterds
“This is room where I bum sheep.”
Only a Devine intervention can save me from the pokey
Nobody believes me, but its just over there that a woman dressed in a blue Hijab materialises every night.
There’s me shirt!
What did he spend his ill gotten gains on ?
the place looks like a fucking homeless shelter !
what do you rxpect from socialist scum – they want to steal the money but they don`t know how to spend it.
I know how to spend your money as I am a woman of taste (and total integrity). Dave Cameron is marvellous!
Sorry, I`m used to being anonymous these days, but it is ME.
What attracted you to that ugly C*nt MacKay ?
you could have done so much better
even i would slip you one after a few beers(for a fee )
Go away you nasty bitch, nobody wants to hear from you. And you have not escaped prosecution yet Kirkbride.
“NORMAN STANLEY DEVINE!!”
Scots Oat’s, just add hot water and stir = Porridge!
He’s been troughing his ex’s he’s bound to have some snout!
You don’t half look like Fletch, doesn’t he Mr McKay?
Look my friend, I told you when you came in we can’t guarantee to get it completely clean. See that sign. No refunds.
They caught me stealing from the public purse
and thats why they cut my hands off !
Hey Nadine I had a dream about you last night , have ye ever seen aman we a haggis down his trousers !
In the doctor’s surgery, where all conversations are privileged by the sanctity of medical confidentiality.
Devine- er Doc, I have a real problem. Its been developing for years but become much worse lately. You see , I can’t pee over the edge of the trough.
GP—— Fuck off , you fat fuck.
NO…Uddin.., get out there and face the music!
Right lets try again !
Go into that corner and try again to pick up the soap without bending down
because if you can’t you will be surrounded by more “private members that in the HoC”
What a difference an E makes……………….http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Film/Pix/pictures/2008/05/28/divine.jpg
That’s where I stashed me snout and its all gone, how am I going to get my head in the trough again now?
@ 150, you beat me to it.
No it wont work ! if your going to plead insanity
then claiming your wardrobe as your second home wont wash !
Och
Laundering is a hobby of mine
“MP gets shirty”
Labour party lingerie range
Of course I claimed for the F****** Superman suit – OK you caught me – I AM SUPERMAN – but don’t tell anyone, arright?
Look, just below ma blue underpants is ma glory hole, you go in the cupboard, I slip ma old knob through yon hole and we all make like we’re fucking the taxpayer!
you’ve been a bad prime minster … get in your box!
And the ATM plugged into the public purse was right here before I got caught.
Fuck, can’t think of a caption. I have just been looking at some of the webbing on La Senza link.
That shirt is the only thing I have ever paid for in my life. It came out of my first wage packet.
The exercise book is in that cupboard there – don’t tell him that I grassed him up please.
I’m more than a little bit pissed off at the irony that me driving my toyota means I will now be taking part in dancing on wheels.
“You can get your own jive, Jimmy – that’s my stash.”
Five foot nine, so Devine, plays left back for
palestineBarlinnie“Harrods? No, all my shirts come from Primark! And if ye’ll come back later, I’ll have had time for my wee lassie to have created some fairly authentic looking receipts using Photoshop to prove that point! -Oh, bugger! Did I say that out loud?”
OT
Am i late? has everyone seen this?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8501131.stm
Hmm, was it made using one of these? I hear Gordon and Alistair use one of these to print money with.
http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p224/tracyc_2007/Screenshot2009-10-21at235548.png
Very On/T, that could nail Blair if true, a proven liar at last. Not so strange the Beeb has it tucked away in their back pages, It should be the main headline for gods sake, might shake the chilcott enquiry drips up a bit.
Why would those Welsh blowhards only release it now and how did they get it?
This could be rather interesting if true:
Memo ‘shows Blair Iraq war deal with Bush’
The leader of Plaid Cymru’s MPs has said he has a memo showing Tony Blair and George Bush struck a secret deal to invade Iraq a year before the 2003 war.
Elfyn Llwyd told the BBC’s Straight Talk he had written to Iraq Inquiry chair Sir John Chilcot to say he would be prepared to hand the document over.
Chilcott will pretend never to have been contacted or indeed even heard of such a document. Just as Brown pretended to know nothing about the 50K excercise book.
The enquiry will proceed serenely to its predetermined conclusion – nobody was guilty of anything – it was all a big misunderstanding – oh dear – how sad – never mind. Lessons will be learned – need for better communication.
Please find enclosed my invoice.
Chilcott.
Can someone please explain WHY Gordon Brown is speaking about John Terry? What on earth has this to do with our PM? He’s not even English and shouldn’t he be sorting out the corruption at Westminster?
‘cos it distracts him from the pound and the FTSE in freefall, and 3 of his own MPs charged with fraud..?
Glad you noticed.
They’re all busy obsessing about some dickhead footy twerp, and the grunters’ expenses. Total issue = about £1.5mill x 2
Whilst meanwhile the whole economy slides down the pan,
Total issue = X billion billion
Talk about ‘worrying about the deckchairs’, I’m afraid the county is fucked and deservedly so.
The country will always be fucked while:
Every £2 rasied in tax results in £3 in government spending;
6 million are unemployed and another 6 million work for the State;
Taking a job involves a marginal rate of deductions of 98% compared to being on the dole;
£200,000,000,000 was printed to get 0.1% growth in a single quarter (subject to revision)…
The double dip is starting – hold on to your hats, this will be a long and nasty ride…
c.eng, take a look at the chart on here – we are in good company, surrounded by Ireland, Greece and Spain!!!
http://ftalphaville.ft.com/blog/2010/02/04/141681/chart-du-jour-sovereign-risk/
I managed to drink 8 beers without visiting the toilet once.
My pants were pretty soaked though.
Devine in his prison cell points to the shirt that keeps getting lifted while carrying out his prison sentence.
I have done far worse than this little trougher..
But no one can catch me…
Teachers have reported a rise in the number of “slovenly” parents dropping children off at school dressed in their pyjamas.
Luckily for them I’ll never cause any such trouble; I like to sleep naked
“Gordon hides in that cupboard when there’s bad news about”
“I think Mecca is that way Baroness Udin”
I do hope they have removed her passport so she can’t go anywhere just yet.
I wonder how long it’s going to be before we know if they are going to charge her as well?
It was the system made me do it.
And, as Our Great and Glorious Leader has declaimed:
Nothing am my fault.
An explanation might be that they have more leads to something more extensive and need the time to prepare any case(s). Pure speculation I admit, but once an investigation starts, it often, I speak from experience, finds more than at first suspected.
Let’s wait and see.
Obviously more to the empty house than first meets the eye…
Or, alternatively, the CPS just want to make the fat pig sweat for a little longer…
Tony Blair made me (like a Mafia Don)
He will solve the problem…
Parliamentary Privilege is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
Rio Ferdinand as new England captain – that’s the best fucking joke I’ve heard in ages.
Nice one Capello – you replace a serial shagger with a cokehead.
Choice.
sell sell sell
jonah backs england.
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/4/20100205/video/vhd-prime-minister-backs-capello-over-te-686f718.html
We might just be ok he only said ” I hope they do well ” could not see if he had his fingers crossed
Aye and while we’re at it let’s crack down some serious crime such as this: http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20100128/tuk-stunned-driver-fined-for-blowing-his-45dbed5.html
After all we can make some more money for the Champagne socialists to fritter away
Fabio wanted Nigel Reo-Coker as captain, but it got lost in translation, so we end up with Rio, Fergie’s Cokehead instead.
cokehead is his nick name around the club ! TRUE !
hey fuck all this MPs expenses lark
I just been booted out of the England captains job. Its not funny. Hope it doesn’t affect my £170,000 a week pay agreement….jeez
Fat old Huhne in Thai ” massage parlour” instructs masseuse
just put on that blue shirt my dear and then I’ll shackle you to the couch and we can play fuckingtories
( ere Guido ,why does c–nt come out as Hoon? )
‘cos Hoon (Geoffery) is a cunt?
Come on Steve, how’d you do it then?
Don’t you dare!
Lots of practice!
Much more important and interesting is why, somehow, in certain comments it still comes out as Huhne
I mean c.unt
Synonymsbot
It’s interesting that two of the four MPs charged with false accounting are prominent climate change cultists. It’s too small a sample to be statistically significant but, well, a certain expertise in fiddling figures can be very helpful in that area.
Accountancy Can Be Sexy.
Chapter 1…..
Double-entry bookkeeping.
The Chief Rabbi agrees…
He won’t need those shirts soon.
Or the shorts and trooosis
Coz he’s gonna be so H O T!
ANYWAY – anyone wanna sign my petition banning whatever it is we’ve thort of this week?
“Not me Officer, I’m George – the thieving bastard you’re looking for is hiding over there”
….and just so you know, she’s got a big fat face and oversized glasses, not from Specsavers®
HMP will let me wear ma blue shirt?
Aye! ma curtains cam’ fra’ the Johnny Leweas lust.
Ah anly accupt tha’ bust!
O/T That john terrys shag !
has she been paid to keep quiet by some one ?
you dont go to max clifford unless you have something to sell
so whats going on ?
Guido,
You do realise, that you would never get away with this, if you lived in the USA, and may not even in your hideaway in some Irish bog – if memory serves me right. I have never commented on your blog before yesterday and only occasionally read it, because occasionaly someone writes something that is even funnier than anything on Craig Murray’s.
Anyway, I will give you “Pig Hero of the Week”, though you really could do with going on a Presentation Course, a lot of which is about not saying anything when the Pigs are Grunting on Live TV. If you Gabble Back at Them when they are Grunting, some of your Words will be Missed.
But well Done Anyway
Love & Peace,
Tony
The Chief Rabbi agreees….
Is that Craig Murrey loon still ranting on about his sacking by Jack Straw from the Foreign Office after getting drunk and behaving worse then John Terry let loose in an Uzbekistan brothel?
No no no, I’m Jim….. Gordon’s in there…… it wasnae me …..
“To the wardrobe with you, you little taxpayer!”
Never mind the lost expenses I’ll soon be receiving my thalidamide compensation
Nice one.
“Over there’s my shotgun and buckshot. Problem is every damn time I want to shoot ducks some ginger hottie in her WA tailcode F-15C with “NEWSBROOKE” along the side is lighting the burner and either strafing or bombing my duck house with some City U students trying to curry favour with her! Damn Americans!! Be careful with that gun… and officer, I did NOT expense that… yet!”
O/t just been on sky news Labour has had an idea where they get pop stars to appear live at schools across the country
they were at brentwood high school where pixi lott was live
i think they said the event is labours year of music to show kids what you can achieve !
all these kids will once again have their dreams shattered by this government
as i would guess less than one kid out of ever 500 schools actually make it !
Meanwhile while we are all obsessing about some dickhead footy twerp, and the grunters’ expenses. Total issue = about £1.5mill x 2
The Pound and the FTSE are sliding down the pan. Total issue = X billion billion
Anyone for deck quoits ?
In the name of diversity
All can be fiddled..
That is the joy of it…
“No, it was not a typing error, I did not mean ‘spare us a load of shirts’…………………………!”
Ooooooo………………..
http://bastardoldholborn.blogspot.com/2010/02/breaking-blair-lied-at-chilcot.html
Sincere wishes to Tony and Cherie :
Fuck off. Stay Away. Die soon.
I only spoke to the CPS because I thought it was the Crown Prostitution Service.
If you can find any dodgy vat receipts in that cupboard, I’m the captain of the England football team!
Right Sir! Could you now close your eyes and try to touch the tip of your nose with you index finger?
On with the Ladies gear,out the window
and I’ll be at the channel ports by midnight.
Smokin.
How much would I get for these shirts on ebay?
Cellmate: “That crapper is mine!”
Devine: “And what am I supposed to use?”
Cellmate: “I don’t give a shit!
Just don’t use that.”
Devine: “Okay, bud. We’re going to
get one thing straight right now…. That is yours” Click.
And over there are the shirts I took off the taxpayers’ backs.
Fuck you all, Jimmy
Testing Testing Huhne?
FAIL
Damn it!
Steve’s a сunt, he’ll tell you how to do it.
Testing Testing, again, Hoons a Huhne!
F**K
c-u-n-t, сunt. Easy
you Huhne!
I wear to fuck – that is 30 grand’s worth of shelving.
Its a financial stimulus to help the locals with their Buckfast habit.
Another problem on the horizon for “Straightsortaguy” Tony(?) as Welsh MP ready to provide copy of secret memo written by Bliar to Bush to Sir John Chilcot
“………. the contents of the memo were “in direct contradiction of many, many statements by the ex-prime minister in the House of Commons, including several questions he answered to me”.
Asked if he believed it could be the “smoking gun” that anti-war campaigners have been looking for, he said: “It could be”.
He said the memo had “become somewhat historical” but it was relevant to the Chilcot inquiry, which was why he had written to the Iraq inquiry chairman.
Mr Llwyd added he was ready to disclose “everything he knew” to Sir John and his committee.
He told interviewer Andrew Neil that whether the inquiry quizzed him in public or private was “up to them” and he was now waiting for a reply from Sir John. ”
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8501131.stm
Everybody thinks I’m a straight kinda guy.
I’m feeling kinda blue.
PROSECUTE JULIE KIRKBRIDE!
Agreed. Her fraud is far worse and far bigger than the four.
Agreed.
Agreed. The Kirkbride scandal will run and run unless action is taken now.
You are absoloutely right. The Kirkbride scandal will run and run unless action is taken now.
Even if I stand over their I am a thief.
This cribbed by albeeb from Evening Standard.
Quite put me off my tea…
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23802730-gordon-brown-sarahs-my-hero-she-tackles-every-challenge-with-dignity.do
poor cow how on earth did she fall for that twat…what do we think first attracted her to the then chancellor..she f’ucking needed specsavers
Any chance Capello can sack the House of Commons? 12 minutes, we need Capello as leader.
HOT DEAL !
Tell all your female friends that I can get 100 tampons for £1
No Strings attached
o/T
WTF…….
http://portal.campaigncc.org/content/what-after-copenhagen
“The infomation of potential Earth gains sent out to every large and small building company in the Uk and or the world via volunteers, ie the retired and school children, at ecoplaza. This then creating a boom in the farming and production of hemp creating green investment and many green jobs. This then opening up other markets for the use of hemp as fuel, food, fibre, clothing etc. Each acre of hemp absorbing huge amounts of CO2, more than forests do etc. On one hand we need to have a plan on the other organisational models and on the other build the belief that we really can save the planet.”
“The speaking of English type words impaired by consumption of hemp”
You do realise that hemp is marijuana dont you ?
for each acre of hemp smoked would increase CO2 dont you think mmm? mmm ?
Yeah, three hands in the final rhetorical flourish trumpeting the writers earth shattering insight
how are they so cheap…second hand ?
Divine considers prison survival strategy
After Mr Devines death we have finally found a post politics career that McMental can easily slip into,
Touring gay clubs and belting out Hi NRG Queer anthems whilst in full drag.
Im happy for him.
I don’t think Beast that gordon has the wherewithall to perform as good as that in drag.
He’s squirming now on C4.
My goodness what was that??!
But the three young dancers had nice umm…physiques!
have you ever seen such an ugly jacqui smith as this ?
Look there is no room for the shirt with the arrows on
Thats the corner I shagged Nadine, she wants it, still wants it,i’m off to Chelsea now to get old of that dirty Frog bird as they say one swallow makes one fat old Scot happy.
In my cell I will get a Gordon Brown Sky sports subscription to watch the clydesdale league and can smoke me 100 tabs a day man, see its not all bad, come on nadine you know you want it baby come tio the daddy
Devine is on Cahnn 4 News losing Labour and Scottish Labour votes with every second of his utterly ludicrous lies
‘it was a Labour Whip who told me to do it!’
or as we all know he is saying ‘a big boy did it and ran away!’
fucking disgusting shameless scum
he’s going to jail
Rather put him on the end of a rope, all but admitted criminality. Will now claim he can’t have an unbiased jury after Krishnan’s interrogation.
Like the oriental system of justice, very cheap and effective and more importantly, won’t do it again, but can you claim the cost of the bullet on expenses, but there again have it on me.
That is quite clearly some blue stationery I bought for £5,000. My mate can do a receipt and I haven’t benefitted financially
Labour MP Jim Devine this evening broke down and confessed to ‘moving money around different accounts ‘ when questioned by the Channel 4 goldfish. Mr Devine appeared to be flustered with the line of questioning and in trying to explain his actions implicated himself further with wrong doing whilst he was working at the NHS and the unions.
Meanwhile Gordon Brown was asked earlier whether he felt he owed the tax payers an apology for over claiming £13,000 on expenses. He refused to comment but shouted from the toilet cubicle that he was in that ‘he was getting on with the job’
How did the police come to investigate this six only and not the other three hundred plus? jacqui and margaretmoran come to mind!
And why have we not heard from HM Customs and Excise about any investigation and possible prosecution of those mp’s who attempted to evade paying their capital gains tax? the carrot topped one comes to mind as a good example!
Good to know that baronessu is still sweating tonight not knowing whether she’s going to be prosecuted or not.
Guido we must keep up the pressure and force more prosecutions !
Leettle pigs… Leettle pigs. Let me come in.
Don’t worry about the hair on the chiny-chin-chin
[...] H/T Old Holborn via Guido [...]
arms out wide sir, I’ll be around in a minute
I promise to be very very drunk – http://twitter.com/SirTrevSkint
Ah enjoyed ma books an’ their musty smell
But noo ah suck cocks in th’ ol’ Bar-L.
New Freemason’s signal:
MP in trouble, please assist.
See, there’s my Everton shirt. I play on the Left Wing.
Devine looks like a typical Scottish Labour mafioso — overweight, purple-faced, bottle-nosed, and with the kind of expression on his face that Glaswegians give you just before they glass you. (To be fair, that describes Guido as well).
Caption obvious: “I want an HD TV set in my cell. It can go over there next to the wardrobe.”
I HATE blue! I can’t even look at a cutty sark in blue. What about Divine Brown? OK. OK. No jokes about if you can swallow that you can swallow anything.
The public are so pissed off with this filth that most of them wont bother to vote
the polls now showing only a 7% tory lead
and taking into account floaters and undecided voters the lead is only 3%
so with cameron trying to lose the election it could be another full term for brown
unless the tory party replace him now !
http://ukpollingreport.co.uk/blog/
You need to take a wider and deeper view of polling. And especially you need to discount YouGov polls completely.
The YouGov President is the husband of that baroness ashton person that gordon made the EU Foreign Minister – the one that’s been such a failure from day one that the french and the germans are loudly condemning her.
YouGov is shamelessly labour oriented – so it can’t avoid showing that labour are losing in the polls, given current trends, but it weights its questions in such a way that it limits the percentage.
To get a proper picture you need to take account of all the other polls and also over a longer period of time.
it’s all the polls fault nell
when will these Liebore fools learn
we don’t want any floaters thank you very much
Labour having a cat fight in safe seats now ==giggles==
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/low/england/merseyside/8500319.stm
Now who would you fancy…
http://www.labourlist.org/uploads/thumbs/L_ca0b86f2-26b3-9d04-617d-dfdb0dc3e453.jpg …
“This is about the size of the cell I will be living in for the next few years, and this is the corner where “Razor” will be making me his bitch”.
Don’t gloat too much – plenty of Tories have had their fingers in the pies.
None more so than East Herts District Council, a Tory Shire held by Cameron as shining torch of competence.
Pathetic.
As Galloway stated last night on Question Time – the whole lot should be rid. The only thing I have ever agreed with him about.
The fuzz and HMRC are looking for more scalps, make no mistake.
Is your house in order?
Hang on… George Galloway? Who, somehow,always affords handmade suits and clothes?
Dave Nellist = Socialist. George Galloway = Gallowayite. In it for himself.
and handmade shoes, not clothes. Sorry!
I’ve put the incendiary device in that cupboard.As soon as you get my call from Belize I want you to press this button.
It wasn’t me gov.
I was under duress at the time.
Have you tried the NEW labour whip.
http://www.hertsandessexobserver.co.uk/hertsandessexobserver/DisplayArticle.asp?ID=481833
Here you go my luvvlies….what a Tory shire gets up to when CCHQ is busy deciding waht Policy it will be this week.
But young Sir Alan has overpaid on his repayment….
These old grandees (sounds like a bit of knackered furniture not fit for purpose)
http://www.hertsandessexobserver.co.uk/hertsandessexobserver/DisplayArticle.asp?ID=481910
I made a honest mistake.
I was only doing what Jack Straw was doing
He made a honest mistake for 5 years with his council tax claim.
He isn’t going to court
WHY AM I is it because I IS a Scotsman
Innit
no it isn’t my ginger toupee..Hazel for fucks sake put yer kecks back on
no sarah sits in me fridge in there when gordon wants to slip into something cool
Ahm ha’ing a new khazi installed in the beedroom tae practis fur when i gae doon
“And this is the space Bubba and I will be sharing…”
Devine – So Inspector Stanley, you managed to track me down to my secret hideaway, how did you manage that?
Stanley – Livingstone, I presume…
And that’s where the plumber lives
Remember, I reported myself to the police because I was innocent
In Glasgae we call this a ‘stationery cupboard’ ’cause it disnae move
Look Look – some shameless, lying, low life thieving bastard’s burgled my house !!!
*
*
*
*
DGJYHOBBSZ FOUR THE BUOYS
http://www.irannegah.com/Video.aspx?id=1579
AZ HAYMASH MHAQKBARF WHOOD SAY
EGGM#
MA SHAG BON
*
ASTA
In English???
*
*
*
*
in
IN
IN
INGHELYSH
ORE
IN
YNGHLYSH
ASIN
BRUTISHTOSH
ORE
PYQKTISH SUKKER
AZIN ALASKAHAN
BOSHBHOD
*
ASTA
Super-Trougher blames it all on the invisible man!
Cells just get posher
That’s where the voices came from, they said it was all legal, and above the Skirting board.
1689 English Bill of Rights does not apply to you Jock.
*
*
*
*
TYMELOQKXS2Z TUYU SUKKER
LEDDLOQKXSZON15SO9*M8*
1509
1500 + 9 RAOUWNDSZ DAOUWN TWO A 6*
ASSEW ASSAYASSO
TAI BON LAYRD
AS KILLAEKRANQKEY OF AULD BAYLEYOLE WHOOD KNOT SAY
A RAYVEN
WUN OF YEURWROPESZ BYGGEST RAYVENSZ
*
ASTA
*
*
*
*
HAI GUISE
EYES LAND
EYESLAND
EYESCLAND
GNU EYECELAND
GNU YORQK
AMERRAEKA
WELL KHUMM TWO SKHOTLAND
CYA WEN EYE CYA
BLAQK SAND
*
ASTA
“See that bloke there? He did it.”
“But there is nobody there.”
“That’s because he is invisible. I call him Lawrence.”
“Wall!”
“Plug!”
“Curtains!”
“Drink!”
“Feck!”
“Arse!”
And this is where I keep my brain.
‘To err is human, to sin Devine’.
Labour MP condemns Chadri-wearing levitated midget.
Lol – you loony.
That’s got to be worth 2 tee shirts!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Where’s Guido when he’s needed, downt pub!
Devine, “git oooot”!
interviewer,”But that’s a cupboard”.
Devine,”Bastard whip said it was the back door”.