‘Lots of Love, Bad Al’
Not content with a bad novel set to flop, bad Al Campbell is still trying to flog copies of his other work of fiction – his diaries. Via his website he will be donating £7.50 to Labour from every sale of the unwanted trade copies otherwise destined to be pulped. Guido is not sure how successful this campaign will be given that you can get a copy of the book for a quid in Poundland or a free .pdf of it here. In a bid to encourage people to fall for the fundraising gimmick, bad Al will be signing copies with a personal dedication. You can send him exactly what to write directly from his website without having to pay.
What would you like Bad Al to say?
Got any scag?
How appropriate for New Labour, paying via Paypal, a service that pretends to be a bank, but is not a bank, and despite taking your money and hording it, is not regulated as a bank. That’s why they can and do stop accounts and holding people’s money for ransom for no reason other than it’s someones time of the month / someone farted in the office / it’s a full moon.
New Labour and Paypal go together.
Noticed the http://www.arrestblair.org/ site started with Paypal and withdrew the account. I wonder why???? !!!
And causing the deaths of tens of thousands of civilians & hundreds of troops.
That would do for a start Mr Campbell.
Paypal and Ebay is run by ZaNu like na.z.i.s the like of whome Harperson would be thoroughly proud.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1246724/Dads-Army-board-game-banned-eBay-inciting-racial-hatred.html
Funny this, I’ll have to check into it. I have been using PayPal two or three times a week since they began and haven’t had any problems. When I contact them by email however, it becomes very embarrassing. They answer my email reasonably well, then an hour later, I get another email from someone also answering my email, and hey! I get a third email within the next hour answering it as well. They are all bery helpful, in fact too helpful and I get embarrassed.
Maybe it will end? Is this what you are saying?
Ampers
(No connection whatsoever with PayPal, other than I use them with my Google account, and also to buy when other companies have a link on their website.)
Ooops, I mean my eBay account!
Hate to be the odd one out here but David Kelly was quite happy to help the south Africans and the Israelis develop ethnic weapons. You know, the type of weapons that eradicate “inferior” races based on their genes so YOUR superior race can rule the world.
Nice. 16 Microbiologists who worked for the Israelis (including Kelly) turned up dead in just 4 months.
Google David Kelly, Nes Zions
SSKQUEEEERRKK!!! PSITTACOSIS!!! (shiver)
Was it all the Joooooos Old Holbonkers or was it the New World Order Lizardpeople BildyBurger Kings ?
fucking conspiracy nutter
Let’s ask David Kelly what he thinks
Now fuck off back to your own blog you posturing cock end.
Gordon Brown is a loser.
Would a signed copy of mad Al Campbell’s book be worth even less than an unsigned one?
I admit it, I admit it all, Can I cut a deal and drop Tony in it?
Message: kill yourself you fucking war criminal.
I think Guido’s dedication is best, but yours is a close 2nd.
LOL (4)
Just do it
yeah, but it’s to you, not him
Oh dear the Labour trolls are gettting upset.
Good. Go top yourselves.
You fucking retards.
They’re coming to take me away ha ha!
Hi Ali, can you just write in mine,
‘To Holy Tony, the man who doesn’t do God from Ali, the man who’s a total stranger to the truth’ ?
Wouldn’t touch anything he wrote with a barge pole.
Love the name, the clever use of the £ sign which means sooo much to Tony.
Name: Gordon
Email https://email.number10.gov.uk/Contact.aspx
Dedicated to: Tony
Message: Told you so, you are mentally flawed.
Name: Tony
Dedicated to: Alistair
Message: I have a cunning plan on how we can make Labour electable once more
Think Guido’s email says it all.
OT
I thought these full body scanners were supposed to be voluntary i.e. if you didn’t want to be scanned at airport you could opt for a more complete body search – now it seems that MCR airport will not let you fly if you refuse to go through scanner.
I look forward to holidays in the UK
http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/s/1191056_airport_body_scanner_compulsory
Do they offer the complete body search for internal flights – if so, much cheaper than visiting Spearmint Rhino
Do the full body scanners offer an x-ray mode to find bombs secreted inside a human body? Either up the kyber or stiched into one’s folds of flab?
No, they are completely useless unless you have obligingly strapped a gun to your chest or are wearing sticks of dynamite around your waist. If you cunningly secrete plastic explosive somewhere in your body then they are absolutely useless although they do give the operators a good laugh and something for the Christmas party.
Could have loads of fun with a few fake tattoos there.
A few squarish dark/black patches, a couple of squiggly lines, and a large red button with a message – something along the lines of` “press here to meet Allah”.
not a the moment… so it’s only slightly better than being felt up or having your kids felt up by strangers but they are working on it so it can even detect an explosive liquid over a drinkable one.
Except we’ve all panic bought the old version now so will continue to have to be stripped of our lube and other liquids.
Not with a barge pole
Not even with your barge pole!!
Not with a barge pole.
For: Robert Maxwell
Message: I miss you Captain Bob
Sod his diaries, all the information on New Labour that anyone would want to know about can be found here: http://eotp.wordpress.com/category/new-labour/
Dedicated to:Joseph Goebbels
Message:In homage and admiration,your son.
To: Fat Charlie Whelan
Sorry I punched you at the Red Lion. Next time save yourself a fat lip by waving the White Feather
I’d like him to say ‘sorry’, for being the biggest c*nt………..ever.
Dedicated to: Students of Politics
Message: Critics of the political – pornographic paradigm can fuck off. Politics and pornography are interwoven wefts of the same dirty linen – just look inside or read my latest crap for definitive proof.
Can i have 45 minutes to think about it?
Name: the late mrs slocombe.
Dedicated to: mr peacock
Message: have you seen my pussy?
I’d be no use to you, Mrs. Slowcum; I’m always looking for Miss Quicky.
Downloading the PDF now. Here’s a thought: you could spread a little mischief by selectively tweaking a politial memoir then offering it for free on the internets. Play your cards right and you could probaby start a war – an artillery exchange across a disputed border at the very least.
Shits to the right of me, shits to the left of me, and me – the biggest shit of all – right in the middle.
best from a proven liar, pornographer, and one of the most sinister and evil influences on British politics ever.
If ONLY Al had remained as an honest, decent pornographer! But instead, he had to go over to the dark side…
OT: Nice to see Nadine Dorries giving that jumped up little squirt, with a Napoleon complex, Bercow a lesson in the traditions of the house. As the police shout “Speaker” as he walks down the corridor, every MP should shout back “Wanker”.
Yes, she done good!
http://blog.dorries.org/Default.aspx
one twat ignores another twat. who cares?
indeed, I’m going to enjoy watching Bercow loose his seat on election night.
Well done Nad!
Keep up the good work.
That blog was OK until the bit where she suggests millions of tourists come to see the speaker wear silly clothes.
(OK – so she meant “traditions” – but its wierd to link the two things together).
PS: I might pay to see MP’s playing musical statues with the speaker, well not really, I’d like to see it for free on youtube.
There once was a time when the Serjeant at Arms knew that Parliament could not be searched in the manner it was in the Damian Green farago
a shout of wanker seems about right
Very moving Guido, what a horrible cover up. 70 years?! FFS.
Well Hutton has now U turned and given the Doctors access to the post mortem and other papers. They are pressing on with a legal challenge to get a Coroner’s Inquiry and if they do the papers will be made public in Court.
Even here labour is failing, finally to cover up its lies and dirty tricks.
RIP Dr Kelly.
Name: Gordon Brown
Dedicated to: Peter Watt
Message: Sorry – Our find-raising hasn’t been the same since you left!
….or, mea culpa.
Reminds me of Alan Partridge and his book ‘Bouncing Back’.
Can Campbell have a second series ?
Dedication to Andrew Gilligan from Alastair Campbell.
I’m a failed writer and my reputation is in shreds. You are a rising star and award winning journalist.
There is a God!
We could ask Campbell why and how Tony Blair landed his 5 Million a year job at U.S. Investment Wankers, sorry Bankers, J.P. Morgan ?
Probably because of Tony’s Iron Grip on the regulation of the Scum Bankers
Quid Pro Quo as they say in the City Boardrooms
Name: Tony & George
Dedicated to: All the british service men and women KIA
Message: For What.
Oh God what have I done? Please forgive me. It’s all going dark. HELP…………..
Why did you split from UB40?
i like this
He is a one in ten, unemployable, left handed, gay, scottish, unelected, and anything else that puts him into this statistical grouping.
“Dear X, I found this book about a slimy, scum-dwelling bottom-feeder and thought of you.”
I never knew it was so painful to be in labour!
As a former Porn merchant, allegedly, Blair, Mandelson and Brown enjoyed gay sex with each other. Blair and Mandy became an item for a while, which led to Cherie being fucked by Lord Derry Irvine, who had her over the table with his wig on.
Now as another Rat >Boomtown< said; Give us the fucking Money
‘As a former Porn merchant’ – leave the new owners of West Ham Utd out of this, or else!
We didn’t have that kind of fun at my constituency surgeries on Saturday mornings.
I like Guido’s suggested dedication very much. I might order a copy with that dedication for myself.
If I pay an extra £10 will Bad Al get Cherie to sign it for me as well?
well said.
To: Andrew Gilligan
Dedication: I wanna sex you up
Im sure this website thingy costs money, so here is a wheeze for Guido to make a few bob.
Guido, go buy as many poundland copies of the lying cock jockeys book as you can for a quid (admittedly its giving money to that berk, but he/the publisher are still on for a big loss)
Next, flog them to us punters for, say, £2-3 or whatever you think you can get away with. However, you dont post the books your punters buy, instead you pledge to burn all of them in a giant (hopefully!) bonfire at an appropriate date (hmm…election occuring soon) and bung the video on this site. All in the name of entertainment and a big fuck you to that shitbag Campbell-end.
The irony would be, YOU would make profit from the schemeing shitbags book and produce some publicity whilst burning them at a time and place of your choosing…plus bonfire…guido fawkes…there is a link…im not sure what…I bet you can think of something.
Also it would be great if you could sell/burn more that the Labour donation version.
Just an idea, i’ll only charge 10% for it.
has the bell gone, yet?
you have confused me already, and its only Monday!
hate labour, cambell et al but remember, those that start by burning books soon burn people..
Only witches, and only those who weigh the same as a duck.
Who will be chosen to light the fire?
To: John Major
You always were a bigger and better man than me, Sir John, but now everyone knows it. Sorry I lied about you. Yours sitting in a pool of urine in the doorway of Dixons shouting at myself in a Scottish accent, Alistair
***Applause***
Dear Mr Big Al,
can you show my wee boy how to play spin, cause he is shit.
regards,
Andy’s Mum
to: whom it may concern
message:
I am not a killer
I am not a killer
I am not a kiler
la la la la la
la la la la la
I can’t hear you
.
.
.
To Maya.
“Maya, Maya, pants on fire.”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1247403/Labour-war-Blair-sons-glamorous-friend-chosen-safe-seat.html
she won by a nose.
Fucking hell, last time I had a ride on something with a face like that it had four legs and was wearing a saddle
is she blind and deaf? why else would she be seen with that cooont sion simon???
Answer: clearly both
Having clicked on the link and seen the picture it is worth noting that the phrases “strikingly attractive” and “degenerative eye condition” both occur in the same article.
Damn it all Guido
We’re all in this together
To: The Electorate.
Message: Sorry about the lies and spin. Getting power for Labour just to inflict badly thought-through policies and disasterous wars on the country was, in retrospect, a mistake. I should have stuck to the porn. Sorry.
I was taking a nice relaxing shit earlier, when some strange bloke opened the door and started screaming at me.
In the end I had to pull up my trousers and get off his doorstep.
To: John Scarlett
Message: Sex it up baby
The stamp of a true SIS man, taking his name from a Cluedo character!
He did it with the candlestick in the library – pervert!
OR….
It was Reverend Green ( Bliar ) who waged illegal,aggressive war against Colonel Mustard Gas ( Sadam ) but first had to get Mrs Peacock (Big Bad Al ) to help him bump off the nice Professsor Plum ( David Kelly )
They aranged for it to be done in the woods with a blunt knife.
Interesting moment just now on Radio 5. Richard Bacon interviewing Vinnie Jones.
RB – “Is it true you’re Conservative supporter?” (Obviously said along the lines of “Eh? Are you quite mad? Surely you should be Labour like all us BBC types?”)
VJ – “”Yes”. Went on to explain that they are defenders of both the monarchy and the countryside.
RB – “Is it important to defend the monarchy?”
VJ then explains that his son is in the Life Guards.
Bacon’s a cock. The whole premise of “Are you a Tory” was done to make it clear that Vinnie was wrong, wrong, wrong. I’d love to have seen Vinnie land one on the coke addled twatmonkey.
It would been a bit difficult to have seen vinnie land a blow on that Bacon c*nt via the radio
Unless of course it was one of those new inclusive (carbon neutral) Braille radios
The Monarchy is the only thing standing between our Sovereignty and a complete fascist takeover.
Sadly, even they are doing a piss poor job of defending said sovereignty.
As for that shit-for-brains turd, Bacon. He is a treasonous little shit.
he is just crying out for a good waterboarding. He would not last 20 seconds.
Just ask that other apologist for torture, Christopher Hitchens. At least he had the balls to put his money where his mouth was in support of waterboarding and endured some himself. He didn’t last 10 seconds. He soon changed his mind about it not being torture too.
You just can’t rely on Krauts and Greek spivs who are more loyal to their European cousins than they are to the citizens of Great Britian I guess.
Even barge poles wouldnt touch Campbellend
A Barge pole wielded by a leper aimed at that bagpipe sucking prozac snacking twat would have the good taste to prefer to be be stuck up the lepers arsehole rather than shake hands with that fucking c*nt
Guido, it wouldn’t be a first for your suggestion.
Does anyone remember when James Purnell auctioned off a signed copy of the Hutton Report signed by no other than Ali Campbell and Cherie Blair.
Bollocks here is the link:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2006/may/23/labour.uk
I’ll bet he has to have a fair sized team keeping the true edited out of the comments section of his blog
http://www.alastaircampbell.org/vlog.php
That was supposed to be: the truth edited out.
You think Blair gives two shits about you mental boy????
He’s rich and powerful, and you are shit on the killer’s shoes.
Laughing at loony boy, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
“You think Blair gives two shits about you mental boy????
He’s rich and powerful, and you are shit on the killer’s shoes.”
As a good Catholic, Mr. Tony will no doubt be worrying about his eternal soul. I bet Old Nick is ordering extra fuel ready for his arrival.
To: Alistair
From: The Clan McDonald.
Thank you for proving that you still cannot trust a Campbell.
“I love Dave ever since I had to let him take me roughly after losing THAT bet with Gordon”
.org domains are really only supposed to be for non-profit organisations, so campbell’s deliberately used that to try and pretend that he’s some kind of charity. what he’s done there isn’t technically illegal, or even against domain registry rules, but it’s fucking misleading and typical of the kind of underhand shit that he is.
and….
http://www.alastaircampbell.com redirects to the bbc news website.
http://www.whois.net/whois/alastaircampbell.com
How odd.
The words in my book will stay against my name until the last syllable of recorded time. I want to die.
Yours spinning in hell.
A. Campbell
Dedicated to: Malcolm Tucker
Message: I know you’re a fictional character right? I mean I didn’t completely fucking pickle my brain on those all night benders with Sally Bercow. Although we did once get so fucking pissed we pickled her pet dwarf for a laugh. Good times, happy times, except the existential angst, alcoholism, sociopathic craziness and all the fucking sad bully boy shit. God I hate you Malcolm and I hate myself, BUT you aren’t like me at all right? There is no way your persona is based on me in any way.
Dedicated to: Damian McBride
Message: Told you the next time you spilll my Guiness, I’ll turn you into a school janitor. Voila !
I am trying to get a message through to The Right Honourable John Prescott in the hope that he reads this blog.
Prezza (or do your prefer Chipolata?)
I have some cast-off ladies who are causing me trouble with their demands for Ugandan discussions. Would you mind if I send a job lot across to you for servicing. I am in a spot of bother at the moment.
Yours
Jacob(Big Boy) Zuma
“I am one of the pre-lumps of excrement that makes up the pile of crap that is Gordon Brown and I shall happily kill myself at a time suitable to you”.
comment from Big Al. “I’ve always had my problems because when I was a child, my bath toys were a radio and a toaster”.
Second comment from Big Al.
“Every woman I have ever met, including Princess Diana, has fallen madly in love with me. Most of them wear my bath water in a vial round their necks. One lady wore my jock strap as a gas mask.”
Wonder woman is a fictional character
My book brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “Pulp Fiction”
Name: Nick Clegg
Dedicated to: John Terry
Message: Still someway to go before you catch up with my thirty
Dear Mr Campbell,
What are your views on assisted suicide? Death by a thousand cuts?
Big Al says….
” Yes, my problems stem from childhood. When I was six, I had an imaginary friend, whom my parents preferred to me.”