Crowd Sourced Gossip : We Are All Watching Them Now

Guido is very much enjoying the growth of @eyespymp – in just a couple of days it has garnered nearly 1500 followers and is starting to bear more fruit than even its predecessor. Guido hears that some MPs are up in arms about invasion of their privacy and that hacks are chortling away. Though people are often too quick to dismiss her, Nadine was the first to clock that the Lobby might not be laughing for long: “The hacks are going to realise that @eyespymp may yet bite them on the bum!And indeed the penny is starting to drop.

Yvettte Cooper was outed earlier lunching with Polly Toynbee in the Atrium restaurant on Millbank. Whatever tit-bit she was trying to plant in tomorrow’s Guardian has had its source well and truly blown. Former hack-pack totty turned yummy-mummy Gaby Hinsliff* has had a moment of enlightenment:wow. @eyespymp is going to make it hard for lobby journalists to protect sources. start looking for more obscure lunch venues.” Lazy hacks might have to actually trundle even further than Shepherd’s at this rate.

*Is it just Guido that thinks Gaby might be missing the cut and thrust of Westminster life? She is tweeting away all day and he has seen her byline more times since she went to live a life of domestic rural bliss than when she was working for the Observer. Poor Mr Hinsliff must be close to a “it’s Twitter or me” moment.

Campbell Takes More than 45 Minutes to Explode

Everyone knows Bad Al used to make ends meet writing soft-porn for Forum magazine. The question is has the experience of the years since those sex and drink filled days made his saucy prose any better? Judge for yourself, here is the sex scene verbatim from his new novel Maya:

“She wasn’t wearing a bra. I reached down to cup her breast. She breathed in sharply, leaning towards me. I felt dizzy. I took a deep breath, my hand immobile for a few seconds, just holding a breast that had fed so many fantasies, so much frustration. It felt better than the best of any fantasy.

Then I indulged in another fantasy. I gripped the expensive fabric of her green dress in my two hands and I tore it. With a shimmer, the silk fell away to her waist. It was the first time I had seen her breasts. Though there were several highly erotic scenes in ‘An English Rose Abroad’, Maya had never been filmed naked from the front. Now there they were, perfect objects of desire, my hands touching them and my lips moving down to kiss them. I ran my tongue around her nipples and then into the valley of her throat and up to her lips. ‘Kiss me,’ I said, and as she did I felt both her hands on my shoulders, then running down my back, up to my shoulders again, as our tongues ended a two-decade courtship, circled each other again and again, till I sucked her hard into my mouth, and she me into hers. She grabbed at my belt, helped me open my trousers, then force them to the floor as she pulled me on top of her. My hands fell away from her breasts but I wanted them back there, to make that moment of first contact endure. I raised my self up so that I could keep my mouth on hers but also touch her nipples once more, than I moved down to kiss them, and as I kissed and nippped and bit, she grabbed my hair, tugged it hard and behan to emit little gasps, momentary bursts of sounds that said to me I was giving her pleasure. Her pleasure was now my sole ambition. She brought her mouth back to mine, then tugged on my shoulders and I was lying on top of her, the outside of my thighs touching the inside of hers. I felt her calves on mine as she locked her legs around me, our tongues danced around each other once more, and she was wriggling beneath me, her hands on my hips, then she was pulling me towards her, directing me to everything I had ever hoped for. I thought the walls were going to fall down as we stroked and screamed our way through hours of pleasure to the union for which my whole life had been a preparation.”

So it took more than 45 minutes to explode then…

GMTV (Guido Morning TV) : Who Got It Wrong?

+++ UK Preliminary 4Q GDP Anaemic +0.1%, -3.2% On Year +++

A rounding error rather than an end to recession…

UPDATE : Reflect that we have had £200 billion of quantitative easing and all we get is this – most of that went on giving foreign gilt investors an exit rather than bank loans to enterprises.  Subtract the mirage of the Keynesian car scrappage scheme from the figures and we are really still in recession.

Quote of the Day

Foreign Secretary David Miliband on a visit to Serbia said

“I come to Serbia as a proud friend of Kosovo, sorry, of Serbia…”



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Jeremy Corbyn at his leadership launch:

“Labour is stronger.”

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

Guardian Media Group’s Losses Total £173 Million Guardian Media Group’s Losses Total £173 Million
MCGINN WHIPPED LABOUR MPS TO “KEEP UP THE PRESSURE ON JC” MCGINN WHIPPED LABOUR MPS TO “KEEP UP THE PRESSURE ON JC”
VICTORIA’S SECRET LINGERIE AND 5 STAR HOTELS: WELSH GOVT’S £7.5 MILLION CREDIT CARD SPEND VICTORIA’S SECRET LINGERIE AND 5 STAR HOTELS: WELSH GOVT’S £7.5 MILLION CREDIT CARD SPEND
OWEN SMITH HIRES TOP PFIZER LOBBYIST TO RUN CAMPAIGN OWEN SMITH HIRES TOP PFIZER LOBBYIST TO RUN CAMPAIGN
HAMMOND FIBS AND SAUDI SLAVERY SLIPPED OUT ON DUMPING DAY HAMMOND FIBS AND SAUDI SLAVERY SLIPPED OUT ON DUMPING DAY
MATTHEW ELLIOTT ON WHY LEAVE WON MATTHEW ELLIOTT ON WHY LEAVE WON
OSBORNE GIVEN “SH*T” ROOM WITH NO VIEW OSBORNE GIVEN “SH*T” ROOM WITH NO VIEW
5,000,000 SIGNATURES: FEW POLICY CHANGES 5,000,000 SIGNATURES: FEW POLICY CHANGES
CORBYNISTAS USED CODE TO HIDE CASH-FOR-VOTES PLOT CORBYNISTAS USED CODE TO HIDE CASH-FOR-VOTES PLOT
First Lady Michelle Obama Carpool Karaoke First Lady Michelle Obama Carpool Karaoke
PMQ’s Sketch PMQ’s Sketch
How to Reach Westminster Politicians How to Reach Westminster Politicians
OWEN SMITH’S 999 EMERGENCY OWEN SMITH’S 999 EMERGENCY
MELANIA BORROWS FROM MICHELLE MELANIA BORROWS FROM MICHELLE
MAY: I WOULD PRESS NUCLEAR BUTTON MAY: I WOULD PRESS NUCLEAR BUTTON
New Uber Rival Tries to Get Unions Onside New Uber Rival Tries to Get Unions Onside
SMITH’S £200 BILION “NEW DEAL” PLEDGE BUSTED BY MCDONNELL SMITH’S £200 BILION “NEW DEAL” PLEDGE BUSTED BY MCDONNELL
CONGRATULATIONS MR AND MRS UMUNNA CONGRATULATIONS MR AND MRS UMUNNA
UKIP SEEKING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF “OILY” SMITH UKIP SEEKING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF “OILY” SMITH
FALLON WELCHES ON £1,000 PIERS MORGAN BET FALLON WELCHES ON £1,000 PIERS MORGAN BET