Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Crowd Sourced Gossip : We Are All Watching Them Now

Guido is very much enjoying the growth of @eyespymp – in just a couple of days it has garnered nearly 1500 followers and is starting to bear more fruit than even its predecessor. Guido hears that some MPs are up in arms about invasion of their privacy and that hacks are chortling away. Though people are often too quick to dismiss her, Nadine was the first to clock that the Lobby might not be laughing for long: “The hacks are going to realise that @eyespymp may yet bite them on the bum!And indeed the penny is starting to drop.

Yvettte Cooper was outed earlier lunching with Polly Toynbee in the Atrium restaurant on Millbank. Whatever tit-bit she was trying to plant in tomorrow’s Guardian has had its source well and truly blown. Former hack-pack totty turned yummy-mummy Gaby Hinsliff* has had a moment of enlightenment:wow. @eyespymp is going to make it hard for lobby journalists to protect sources. start looking for more obscure lunch venues.” Lazy hacks might have to actually trundle even further than Shepherd’s at this rate.

*Is it just Guido that thinks Gaby might be missing the cut and thrust of Westminster life? She is tweeting away all day and he has seen her byline more times since she went to live a life of domestic rural bliss than when she was working for the Observer. Poor Mr Hinsliff must be close to a “it’s Twitter or me” moment.

Campbell Takes More than 45 Minutes to Explode

Everyone knows Bad Al used to make ends meet writing soft-porn for Forum magazine. The question is has the experience of the years since those sex and drink filled days made his saucy prose any better? Judge for yourself, here is the sex scene verbatim from his new novel Maya:

“She wasn’t wearing a bra. I reached down to cup her breast. She breathed in sharply, leaning towards me. I felt dizzy. I took a deep breath, my hand immobile for a few seconds, just holding a breast that had fed so many fantasies, so much frustration. It felt better than the best of any fantasy.

Then I indulged in another fantasy. I gripped the expensive fabric of her green dress in my two hands and I tore it. With a shimmer, the silk fell away to her waist. It was the first time I had seen her breasts. Though there were several highly erotic scenes in ‘An English Rose Abroad’, Maya had never been filmed naked from the front. Now there they were, perfect objects of desire, my hands touching them and my lips moving down to kiss them. I ran my tongue around her nipples and then into the valley of her throat and up to her lips. ‘Kiss me,’ I said, and as she did I felt both her hands on my shoulders, then running down my back, up to my shoulders again, as our tongues ended a two-decade courtship, circled each other again and again, till I sucked her hard into my mouth, and she me into hers. She grabbed at my belt, helped me open my trousers, then force them to the floor as she pulled me on top of her. My hands fell away from her breasts but I wanted them back there, to make that moment of first contact endure. I raised my self up so that I could keep my mouth on hers but also touch her nipples once more, than I moved down to kiss them, and as I kissed and nippped and bit, she grabbed my hair, tugged it hard and behan to emit little gasps, momentary bursts of sounds that said to me I was giving her pleasure. Her pleasure was now my sole ambition. She brought her mouth back to mine, then tugged on my shoulders and I was lying on top of her, the outside of my thighs touching the inside of hers. I felt her calves on mine as she locked her legs around me, our tongues danced around each other once more, and she was wriggling beneath me, her hands on my hips, then she was pulling me towards her, directing me to everything I had ever hoped for. I thought the walls were going to fall down as we stroked and screamed our way through hours of pleasure to the union for which my whole life had been a preparation.”

So it took more than 45 minutes to explode then…

GMTV (Guido Morning TV) : Who Got It Wrong?

+++ UK Preliminary 4Q GDP Anaemic +0.1%, -3.2% On Year +++

A rounding error rather than an end to recession…

UPDATE : Reflect that we have had £200 billion of quantitative easing and all we get is this – most of that went on giving foreign gilt investors an exit rather than bank loans to enterprises.  Subtract the mirage of the Keynesian car scrappage scheme from the figures and we are really still in recession.

Quote of the Day


Seen Elsewhere

Does Europe Really Want Britain to Quit? | Nick Wood
Immigration Nation | Hopi Sen
Tories Choose Anti-Israel Candidate in Rochester | JC
Osborne’s Daycare Obsession is a Time Bomb | Kathy Gyngell
BBC Marr Pinko Trying to Ban the Queen | Speccie
Eric Hobsbawm: Companion of Dishonour | Standpoint
Guido Party Gossip | Iain Dale
Russell Brand Comes Out as 9/11 Truther | Guardian
Health Revolution is Underway | Fraser Nelson
UKIP Gets Professional | Red Box
Kelly Tolhurst Wins Rochester Open Primary | BBC


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”



Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS


AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,545 other followers