January 19th, 2010

Suspicious Elvis Seen in Hereford

Picture credit : Nick Vaughan“I’d rather see DC live than Elvis”.


174 Comments

  1. 1
    Throbber says:

    Nice one Centurion, like it.

    • 2
      Mr Ned says:

      That’s another monitor covered with coffee!!!

      Brilliant!!!

      • 8
        Mr Ned says:

        O/T but has anyone seen the latest fuckmuppetry of the labour party re binge-drinking?

        Banning promotions in pubs and manditory ID checks? But no banning of promotions in supermarkets.

        Why do the labour Government hate the British Pub??? They are murdering a British institution.

        • 30

          the pubs don’t contribute to party coffers

          • TaT's 'special' Gay Friend says:

            And the Co-Op and Sainsburys do. Which other supermarkets have the Labour party in their pocket? This really is cash for Policy.

          • Sarah Tweets says:

            ‘Nowt wrong with getting a bit of Elvis stardust, Dave won’t mind. Wish that blubbery, saggy faced excuse for a ‘husband’ Gorgon Frown had a bit of glamour.

            Now, I will not be off now to Kent, where I will not be meeting somebody who can give me what cannot be had at home’. Ciao luvvies!

          • Add to that the fact that NuLabour supporters would rather have a madrassa down their street than a nice warm pub (you try finding a pub in one of our fast expanding Muslim ghettoes), and you have the basis of Labour policy down pat.

        • 40
          jgm2 says:

          Manadatory ID checks. Of your voluntary ID card.

          Loving it.

        • 52
          Plotter says:

          New Labour hate pubs as they are social places were people can get together and plot the downfall of New Labour at the coming election. Smash the plotters who’ve had enough of New Labour Communism! Get rid of their places of talk.

          • Thats News says:

            Perhaps they forgot Lord Sainsbury doesn’t back Labour any more?

            But jokes to one side, there MUST be a reason as to why they want pubs closed down and are not hitting supermarkets, too?

            Who benefits from this policy?

          • Toe Knee Blur war crimes trial next Friday says:

            Teach/Nanny the kids not get fat and eat healthily at school and then encourage teens to binge drink threw cheap supermarket booze. That makes sense how? keep the nation pissed and hopefully mask the truth, sound familiar, try USSR and Vodka!

          • normal person says:

            you beat me to it

        • 59
          Anonymous says:

          Because people talk in pubs.
          A channel of communication they cannot control.
          Small businesses formed from the conversations can show up or be competition for the unwieldy, expensive public/ private-but-huge-and-mates-with-gov’t-so-might-as-well-be-nationalised companies.

          They also have a good time there, which isn’t pre-organised, pre-planned government controlled fun.

          Best to make people drink on the streets so that the police can control and beat them – remind them who’s boss.

        • 64
          TheCourtOfPublicOpinion says:

          And naturally, like the smoking ban, all the HOC bars will be exempt.

          • Steve Expat says:

            The HoC bars have “All you can drink for a tenner” andd “double up for 50p” promotions? Must go there sometime…

        • 77
          The Bottle Fed Triplet says:

          These Labour geezers, always making new laws! So who needs the new laws? Use the old ones, they work. All these prats in the street, falling down drunk. Bang them up for drunk and disorderly and leave the rest of us to enjoy a little wine in peace.

          New Labour, making the many suffer because of the few.

          • George Dixon says:

            The plod these days are a socialist control force, they don’t care about law and order, they are uniformed tax collectors.

            If a crime does not contribute to plod coffers, they are not interested.

        • 136
          Dick the Prick says:

          Mr Ned, Sir, I commend you to walk over to Mr Dick Puddlecote’s site and engage with some fury. He is an admirable and staunch observer of all things of a banstabatory nature.

        • 140
          Natalie Rowe's favourite customer, George Osborne says:

          From the Tories Green paper on public health “We will treble duty on alcopops, we will significantly increase tax on super-strength beer and we will more than double tax on super-strength cider.”

          That’s from the “tax cutting” tories.

      • 11
        Hang The Bastards says:

        FFS Guido – Is it a slow news day ?

        The country is on its knees, we want to get rid of these useless twats and all you can put up is a photoshop created during a bored 1/2 hour.

        Get a fkin grip lad !

    • 19
      Concerned Voter says:

      He looks more like Bella Lugosi as Count Dracula to me..

    • 31
      Changing faces says:

      So just run this past me ONE more time, New Labour said they would not be attacking the character of the opposition party politicians. What changed? Scum McBride back?

      Do New Labour like reveling in the pathetic school playground attacks? When will New Labour ever grow up? Do New Labour not see how pathetic New Labour come across?

    • 43
      Anonymous says:

      Works well as an anti-ID card/paedo DB slogan.

      Was going to concentrate the dave/elvis name, but you get Davis – well that works too!

  2. 3
    TaT's 'special' Gay Friend says:

    That is funny, but also highlights the need to replace Camerons visage with that of the dear leader in a Soviet Era Hat. You know the furry type that they wore when reviewing all those Military Parades. Think GJB would have some difficulty ridiculing his own features in PMQT. There again he does have a lovely balanced sort of humour.

  3. 4
    Snake Hips says:

    Uh huh huh

  4. 5
    Apagusta says:

    hair brushed ?

    • 35
      All shook up says:

      At the last election with William Hague as Conservative leader, New Labour were VERY vocal to the idiot masses that “you could NOT trust a slap-head”, and so they voted that pathological liar Tony Blair back into power.

      Today New Labour are painting on more hair onto Tory leaders head.

      How times change. LOL

    • 47
      Morrissey says:

      ..and parted.

      Typical me, typical me, typical me. I started something
      and now I’m not too sure.

  5. 6
    Daves_Bunker says:

    Think it definitely makes him look less like Data.

    Is this a sound-byte by Widdecombes 60-minute makeover team?

  6. 7
    MingeMunchersRus says:

    good idea…tat’s special gay friend but a busbee pulled down to hide thefeatures would be good or preferably ‘a la man in an iron mask genre’ a full metal version with one eyehole and enforced mouthhole for obvious insertions of bullshit.

  7. 9
    Moley says:

    This is what a viral campaign is all about.

    Every viral poster, every spoof, invites comparism in the voter’s mind between the two presidential candidates.

    Under the surface of the conscious mind, the campaign will be doing its job, and the more the campaign is attacked and ridiculed by Labour, the better it does it.

    Presidential candidates?

    Time to stop pretending; that is what we have got, but with none of the proper safeguards that a system designed that way from the outset should have.

    Why is Gordon Brown throwing away money in all directions on climate change, foreign aid and disaster relief without any Parliamentary authority?

    Guilt.
    Guilt about the Iraq war, and the knowledge that Britain was the bad guy; in the wrong; the aggressor.
    Guilt cannot be expiated with other people’s money. It’s the guilty party that has to wear the hair shirt, not the innocent.

  8. 13
    anonymouse in the Treasury skirting boards says:

    There is a good review and there is a bad review, but the worst thing for a play is no review.

    Keep ‘em coming!

  9. 14
    genghiz the kahn says:

    is this one of banksy’s wall coverings.

    vote dave get elvis.

  10. 17
    resurgemus says:

    Computer screw ups cost £ 26 billion under Labour.

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/labours-computer-blunders-cost-16326bn-1871967.html

    Don’t worry, it’s only money, we can always print some more !

    • 25
      Mr Ned says:

      That is the equivalent of 13 pence on the basic rate of income tax for a year.

      • 39
        TaT's 'special' Gay Friend says:

        A mere detail. A mere detail. Just think how well those consulatants have doen. Just like the Bankers

      • 45
        That sinking feeling says:

        Are you working in the private sector? Then you’re up for paying for all that waste (as the UK’s private sector sinks into oblivion).

        • 65
          Toe Knee Blur war crimes trial next Friday says:

          I thought computers were going to increase efficiency ,reduce paperwork and therefore make financial savings so that funds could be spent on things like NHS or Education, so remind me again what the hell have Nu Lab done for us in the last 13 years, answers on a postage stamp!

    • 102
      Thats News says:

      17, it depends if they have re-programmed the computerised printing presses.

      • 143
        resurgemus says:

        Yes they are in the process of doing so.

        All new notes will have an extra zero added to them. Wallets are out and hold alls are in for 2010.

        The good news is that this gives wheelbarrow manufacturers one years advance warning to gear up for high demand in 2011.

    • 123
      Groucho says:

      Saw some Labour lickspittle on the news last night trying to blame the IT consultancies for ripping off the government.

      That’ll be the same Big Five consultancies that keep ripping off the government and delivering late/not at all, over and over again then? What sort of cretin awards new contracts to suppliers that have let them down badly in the past?

      Here’s what happens:

      Suppliers invited to tender.

      One of the Big Five puts in a bid that massively undercuts the competition.
      Nobody in public sector procurement spots that the work could not possibly be done so cheaply.

      Nobody spots that the supplier has not delivered/been late/overspent several times on previous contracts.

      Contract awarded and work starts.

      On delivery date, supplier regrets to inform the government that the work is nowhere near finished and they will need lots more money and time to complete it.

      Its too late to give the work to someone else, so the government caves in and hands over the money.

      Project finally delivered, years late, millions (or even billions) over budget and with only a fraction of the functionality originally specified.

      And repeat.

      • 154
        Throbber says:

        You forgot….. Partners of said consultancy become multi multi millionaires.

      • 168

        123 here’s what really happened:

        A contract is put out to tender. The successful bidder designs the system. Then someone from the government size asks for another feature to be added that was not on the original spec.

        They are told this will cause a delay as the entire system will have to be re-designed, but insist on the change. There are delays as the new feature caused problems with the core code which must, therefore, be re-designed.

        The civil servant who introduced this change is replaced. His replacement wants to know why the project is so late and over budget. At this point the replacement decides to have the new feature removed. Which means that the code has to be redesigned again. Either that or he/she wants changes of their own. Which stops another part of the system working. Which must be redesigned. But then the code must be re-worked. Then a minister is shown the system and asks why it cannot perform another function not really related to the project. This is added. Meanwhile the launch date is pushed even further back and the cost escalates. Beyond all reason.

        This is why my Brother-in-Law tries to avoid working on government IT contracts.

  11. 18
    Uncle Si says:

    I have a strange image in my head, Broon paintbrush in one hand,black paint in the other ,sitting on Mandies shoulders
    ” TO ME TO YOU, TO ME TO YOU’, FOR GOD SAKE WILL YOU KEEP STILL MANDY, I THOUGHT YOU WERE USED TO HAVING A MAN ON YOUR BACK”

  12. 20
    Dave Cameron says:

    You ain’t seen nuthin’ yet.

    At tomorrows PMQ’s I will lead the Opposition front bench in a cover version of “Blue Suede Shoes”

    When the electorate see me in drapes.crepes and a quiff I will gain a landslide victory in the election.

  13. 21
    labour hump on my back says:

    Fuck the picture what about the 26 billion yes billion wasted on computors by Brown and this labour goverment..FFS

    • 46
      Gordon ( SoldGoldAtThe ) BottomBrown says:

      It was the right thing to do because it created more jobs and with that came more donations from grateful IT company bosses.

      I call it wealth distribution, that’s how I abolished Boom and Bust in 1997.

      • 141
        Groucho says:

        Unfortunately the jobs mostly go offshore. The IT consultancies don’t hire UK technical staff these days. The work is either shipped off to India or teams of cut price foreign contractors are brought in (charged to the client at full UK rates, obviously).

        You are right about the donations. Remeber the Cash for Legislation scandal a while ago? One of the Lords involved was taking money from a certain US IT firm in exchange for legislative changes that would provide the firm with easy access to the personal data of UK citizens.

  14. 23
    Doc Trough says:

    A little less ‘Big Conversation’
    Put Snottie in traction please….

  15. 24
    Question master says:

    Suddenly the posters look very clever! How do those advertising chaps get to be so lucky?

    Soon, Mandy and Brown will realise that the posters are working and try and get some of their own – the ensuing mess will be a right laugh!

  16. 29
    Cleethorpes Rock says:

    Makes you wonder what would happen if there were posters of Brown’s face all over?

    Maybe the Tories should just put those up instead.

  17. 32
    Anonymous says:

    Imagine having a giant picture of that smug git attached to the side of your house. It could knock thousands off the value!

    • 74

      My BiL has just had his kitchen done – big job, walls knocked through, huge space, very swish, cost £££. I went round – “Hey, very nice – did you see David Cameron doing that chat to Nick Robinson in his kitchen? Looked just like this”.

      His face fell.

      Even the thought of David Cameron can depress house prices. Mind, imagine a kitchen designed by Gordon Brown? A cupboard full of twixes and kitkats,a vast medicine cabinet, several bins full of brackish vomit and soiled underwear…. Nothing else. Nothing else apart from madness and decline.

      • 78
        jgm2 says:

        I’m pretty certain the Maximum Imbecile will have fabulous kitchens in all his taxpayer sponsored accommodation. And I’m also certain that there is hardly a single meal that he doesn’t bill us for. Including the fine ‘British’ roast that his missus apparently twittered to an expectant world on Sunday.

        I paid for that fucking roast. I hope she does him a chicken next week and he chokes on a bone the incompetent jackass. That’ll be my bone that did it too.

        • 87
          Maladroit Labour Chump says:

          Will Sarah be having a ‘full British breakfast’ at our expense next ??

          After all, Liebour would like to eradicate the word ‘English’ from everyone’s lives, wouldn’t they ?

          • Eating for the Olympics says:

            Judging by her thighs,it’s the Little Chef Olympic breakfast every day.

          • jgm2 says:

            What is so laughable about all this political twattery from the wife of ‘I don’t use my family in politics’ Brown is the contrived nature of such language as ‘British’ roast.

            Nobody does a ‘British’ roast. Nobody does an ‘English’ roast. The fuckers got their meal confused with a ‘Full English breakfast’ then realised they couldn’t say that because that purple-faced buffoon Alex Salmond would make a big deal about a ‘Full Scottish Breakfast’ not being good enough for the incompetent jackass so they contrived a ‘British’ roast.

            But no fucker has a ‘British’ roast. They have a fucking Sunday roast. There’s no ‘English’ or ‘British’ in it.

            But Brown doesn’t use his wife for political reasons. Fuck no. Because he said so.

            Cnut.

          • Benny says:

            In one fell swoop jgm2 has perfectly plunged a dagger into the heart of Sarah Twiiter (she loves it up the shitter)’s rubbish contribution to Gordon’s delusions. Her carefully managed but shithouse propaganda is another nail in the Labour coffin – as if there was room for any more.

          • I gather she prefers a ‘Full Sapphic Fish Supper’, preferably from Kent…

          • Australian says:

            jgm2:

            “Alex Salmond would make a big deal about a ‘Full Scottish Breakfast’”

            That would be the Full English Breakfast with a couple of Deep Fried Mars Bars and a large bottle of Buckfast on the side, I assume…

      • 88
        Brown - not long now. says:

        Brown 1970′s cabinets hanging from their hinges.

        Filthy dirty plastic floor with stains from who knows what.

        Bits of toe nails lying around the floor (from his feet,not the reporter himself – he’s half buried in the back garden under the overflowing wheelie bins).

        Crumpled handkerchiefs covered in decades old snot and other body fluids shoved in to drawers that fall out.

        Piles of screwed up letters that were going to be sent to war widows.

        Picture of Leonid Brezhnev on the tiny fridge containing a 3 year old milk bottle which could be used by Pilton Down Chemical Labs to wipe out the entire Taliban.

      • 101
        Al says:

        Been laughing like a looney at your inventory of Brown’s kitchen.

        • 111
          jgm2 says:

          Brown’s kitchens will be supplied by John Lewis like his TV.

          It’s his idiot vopters in Kirkcaldy who’ll be making do with kitchens such as you describe.

  18. 41
    Barbershop says:

    Bugger me,I’m rushed off my feet this morning with bookings from fellas wanting to have haircuts like that spoof poster on your site.
    The cheques in the post Guido me old mate

  19. 53
    Eine says:

    this been done by Wanksy?

  20. 54
    genghiz the kahn says:

    what about posters of brown on a rocking horse…..labour coming first

  21. 55
    Sister Chutney says:

    “Labour’s computer blunders cost £26bn’

    Just think how many Audi TT’s the wankster IT “consultants” have bought with that

  22. 58
    TaT's 'special' Gay Friend says:

    Wait till you see the one with a big cock going into Dave’s mouth.
    Very very funny.

  23. 61
    Tapestry says:

    The Brown & Blair Saga – musical inspiration – Elvis Presley.

    Gordon sings -

    Ever since my Tony left me
    Gotta find a new place to dwell
    Down at the end of Downing Street
    At Heartbreak Hotel.

    I’m gettin so lonely, Tony
    I’m gettin so lonely.
    I’m gettin so lonely – I could die…

    Well Tony’s tears keep flowin’.
    Cherie’s always dressed in black.
    They’ve been so long on lonely street
    They’re aint never gonna come back.

    Tony and Cherie -

    We’re gettin so lonely Gordon
    We’re gettin so lonely
    We’re gettin so lonely – we could die.

    Altogether -

    Well now we’re outa Parlment
    We got nowhere else to go.
    We shoulda booked The House Of Lords
    But we wanted to make more dough.

    we’re gettin so lonely, Davy
    we’re gettin so lonely
    we’re gettin so lonely, we could die.

  24. 66
    The Dirty Rat says:

    Ha ha ha.

  25. 72

    Amusing, but…

    “We’re caught in a trap.”

    And it really isn’t funny.

  26. 75
    Sir William Waad says:

    …….but if you have been deceving me, well, it’s a neat bit of jiggery-pokery!

  27. 76
    MingeMunchersRus says:

    campaign tagline….’1001 haggard nights with brown…discuss dismiss and dismember slowly’

  28. 80
    Replace politcians with experts. says:

    O/T – should this be any surprise?

    The Independent;
    “An investigation by The Independent has found that the total cost of Labour’s 10 most notorious IT failures is equivalent to more than half of the budget for Britain’s schools last year. Parliament’s spending watchdog has described the projects as “fundamentally flawed” and blamed ministers for “stupendous incompetence” in managing them”
    ………..

    After all – none of these MP’s could even get their expenses correct (ie: Jack “Accountancy is not my strong point” Straw) and we expect them to be able manage IT projects?

    This kind of crap will only be sorted when politicians are replaced by business people who are experts in their field.

    Who would you buy a computer from – Steve Jobs at Apple or Gordon Brown at Labour?

    • 85
      Mr Ned says:

      Personally? I’d rather buy the parts from John down at the market and build the computer myself. Lot’s cheaper and I know it would work properly.

      But I get your point.

    • 107
      Thats News says:

      I know someone who declines such jobs. “Too many problems.” They kept changing the brief, then complained because of increasing costs and delayed start dates!

  29. 83
    Geoff(Smiling Assasin) Hoon says says:

    Cometh the Hour
    Cometh the Man

    Watch me shaft Gordon Brown at Chilcott enquiry today.

  30. 97
    Smash Labour says:

    remember most people who vote Liebour are either unemployed (hence they buy shit beer from Tesco at cheap prices) or they all hang out in homosexual wine bars drinking expensive wine and champers.

    Traditional pubs are for straight white men (one of the hated groups by Labour) and Tory voters in middle class areas.

    Oh Muslims don’t use pubs so no fear of upsetting the core Labour vote either.

  31. 108
    Ker Ching says:

    My female cousin who has got a moustache and wears size ten shoes has been a government “computer expert” for the last 10 years coining it – I was told off for suggesting she may not be too clever – I think I was correct.

  32. 110
    Hic - make mine a treble says:

    Bizarre – Labour bring in 24 hour drinking.

    Result; Town centres that make a slave facing a tiger at the Coliseum a safer place to be.

    3 months to election and oopsy daisy,lets announce some very “tough” measures to stop pubs selling booze cheaper – we’ll keep the 24 hour drinking cos the British are very civilised and will sit at elegant pavement cafe’s sipping on one small glass of France’s best……the reality is mass vomiting,stabbings,women dressed in dental floss lying comatose in the streets.

    Reminds me of those drawings of 18th century London with them all drinking the gin.

    Labour – you know it never works.

  33. 115
    anon, anon, anon..... says:

    Poster of Brown with finger up his nose
    ” GORDON BROWN PICKING HIS CABINET”

  34. 119
    Johnny says says:

    Gordon Brown on the telly this morning: He kept trying to do that hand thing Angela Merkel does but couldn’t stop himself from clenching his fists in time to his words. Very odd.

  35. 128
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Mc Mental is Cliff Richard , another confirmed God bothering bachelor
    His greatest hits being

    “Misanthropy and whine”

    “We dont talk anymore” (dedicated to Tony)

    And

    “We’re all going on a fake summer holiday”

  36. 129
    Steve Expat says:

    O/T inflation up to 2.9% – surely they’re not going to be stupid enough to raise interest rates on that much of an anomoly?

    There was massive retail discounting in December 2008, and this year everyone rushed to beat the VAT increase

    • 135
      Gordon Brown says:

      Anomaly? Don’t be mad you English spazz. I have positioned Britain to lead the G20 out of this global deflation bust with British led hyperinflation. Mervyn, another £200bn if you please.

      • 146
        jgm2 says:

        Quite so. This government (or the next) will not be cutting interest rates even if inflation hits 20%. We will inflate away all our debts.

        I saw the bust coming five years ago and I predicted the political response to the inebvitable bust at the time. They will print money – look…

        September 2004 posted by me in another place…

        http://boards.fool.co.uk/Message.asp?mid=8764925&sort=postdate

        Stage three will be that good old-fashioned cash bubble standby – inflation. We’ll simply print money -

        Print money. Fuck me. Who didn’t see that one coming then. Well apart from the fact that they’d quite literally have no choice if they persisted with maintaining a massive client state and attempting to prop up the price of houses.

        It isn’t difficult to see what is happening. I did indeed look into the future and was 100% nailed-on fucking right.

        It might be difficult to believe that the fuckers would repeat the mistakes of history so totally – bearing in mind the Maximum Imbecile is allegedly a doctor of history – but we must now conclude that the economic disaster of the 1970′s was a deliberate KGB-inspired effort to bring down the UK only thwarted by Thatcher’s last-minute intervention and that Brown has simply decided to have another go using exactly the same recipe that was almost successful last time.

        • 147
          jgm2 says:

          Sorry – will not be b>increasing interest rates.

          There is a reason gold has quadrupled in price since the Maximum Imbecile sold it.

          That is the reverse of what is going to happen to your savings and pensions.

    • 138
      British moron says:

      Yes! Britain leads the world!

      • 145
        Gordon Brown - City of London bankster puppet says:

        Only the economic giants of Romania(4.7%) and Hungary(5.4%) stand in our way of being outright leader in the EU in British led global hyperinflation! By February victory will be ours!

  37. 130
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Mc Mental is Cliff Richard , another confirmed God bothering bachelor
    His greatest hits being

    “Misanthropy and whine”

    “We dont talk anymore” (dedicated to Tony)

    And

    “We’re all going on a fake summer holiday”

  38. 142

    [...] H/T Guido Use this Post: [...]

  39. 155
    Anonymous says:

    Anyone who’d rather see DC than Elvis is a complete twat

  40. 158
    David Dimblebum says:

    Hold on, Harriet touched my arm so I shall immediately cut off the speaker to defer to her. Because it’s the right thing to do.

    Harriet Harman….

  41. 160
    Cynic says:

    The full Lyrics are much more appropriate for Alistair Campbell’s evidence to the Chilcott enquiry on Iraq

    We’re caught in a trap
    I can’t walk out
    Because I love you too much Tony

    Why can’t you see
    What you’re doing to me
    When you don’t believe a word I say?

    We can’t go on together
    With suspicious minds
    And we can’t build our dreams
    On suspicious minds

    So, if an old friend I know
    Gordo drops by to say hello
    Would I still see suspicion in your eyes?

    Here we go again
    Asking where I’ve been
    You can’t see these tears are real
    I’m crying

    We can’t go on together
    With suspicious minds
    And be can’t build our dreams
    On suspicious minds

    Oh let our love survive
    Or dry the tears from your eyes
    Let’s don’t let a good thing die

    When honey, you know
    I’ve never lied to you
    Mmm yeah, yeah

  42. 161
    steve says:

    Check out Brown’s speech on Labour failure

    • 163
      Johnny says says:

      The lecturn says “Securing Britain’s economic recovery”. That would be the recovery Brown spent 10 years claiming we would never have to do again.

  43. 173

    [...] We don’t ‘do’ politics here but I had to link to this. [...]

  44. 174
    Tired of lefties says:

    This should put an end to those tedious arguements about how posh David Cameron is. He’s the King.




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Kelvin MacKenzie told Sky News last night…

“If it turns out Christopher Myers is gay it could be a real problem for Mr Hague…”



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