December 31st, 2009

Flashback 2008 : Labour’s Draper to Dominate Blogosphere

From September 2008:

PR Week can reveal that the Labour Party is exploring plans for an online rapid rebuttal unit, designed to kill off damaging stories circulating in the blogosphere. Former lobbyist Derek Draper will oversee the initiative, having recently been called in by Labour’s general secretary to advise on how the party can communicate its message. Labour strategists are keen to respond to the growing influence of right-wing blogs.

Channel 4 covered the bright new dawn hereIt didn’t quite work out…


  1. 1
    Dolly Draper says:

    Smearing is much more fun.

  2. 2
    Number 6 says:

    Here is to the end of Nu Labour in 2010. Let’s hope it is bloody and messy for the bastards. Happy New Year to Guido and all the contributors to his fine online and rapidly growing organ.

  3. 3
    anon, anon, anon..... says:


  4. 4
    Man With a Very Hot Bladder says:

    Labour is pissing in the wind as usual.

  5. 5
    Engineer says:

    It’ll all end in tears. Probably quite quickly.

  6. 6
    Mark Oaten says:

    Let me check.

  7. 7
    Engineer says:

    “Former lobbyist Derek Draper will oversee the initiative, having recently been called in by Labour’s general secretary to advise on how the party can communicate its message.”

    Labour will have to try and work out what it’s message is before it can communicate it. It won’t get far by just screeching “Tories are toffs”.

  8. 8
    Uncle Si says:

    Can’t beat an honest fair Democrat system,what happened to freedom of speech! If they are still disillusioned into thinking they are going to win after the complete blo*dy mess they left the last decade in then good luck to them, also I thought Nu Lab was broke so how are they paying for this?…I am now going to TUT very Loud!!!!

  9. 9
    Derek Draper says:


  10. 10
    Agent 99 says:

    Phew!! I’ve just run all the way from two threads back

    *bends over holding side regaining breath*

  11. 11
    Catholic School Caretaker says:

    But very expensive!

  12. 12
    Anton says:

    I thought it was a good read and passed the time in between other things.

  13. 13
    Jack Straws cozy cop shop says:

    see McFuckwits party political end of year message on the No 10 website. Lots more of that type of thing to come. In other words you and I the taxpayer will be paying for it.

    Illegal of course but since when did anyone in Labour ever give a shit about the law

  14. 14
    Andrew Efiong says:

    The leftist blogs are too often government blogs. People want outside voices to represent outside interests, instead of transmitting the latest brainwave from Brown’s bunker.

  15. 15
    Smear eyed coffee table says:

    ‘two!’ not ‘poo’ you dozy twat

  16. 16
    Sally's Tits says:

    PR Week can reveal that the Labour Party is exploring plans for an online rapid fuckup all unit, designed to nurture and release damaging stories which will then blow up in their faces.

  17. 17
    The People united will never be defeated says:

    Labour never gets it – there are literally thousands of people working willingly on the blogosphere – unpaid to ensure they lose the election (ignoring the right wing bloggers )and making sure they get away with nothing.

    The people don’t need organisations or party sponsored rebuttal units.

    Labour has lost the support of countless voters all on its own by its policies;spin and downright deceit and ineffective attempts at class-war and Brown’s inept mis-management of the economy

    The storm is approaching that will soon remove Brown and Co from power and consign Labour to electoral oblivion for a generation

  18. 18
    Hugh Janus says:

    Cost is no object to NuLiebour when we are paying.

  19. 19
    Peter Handlesmen says:

    I should be in charge of rebutting.

  20. 20
    Engineer says:

    I think Guido’s quite amused by the idea of the lefty blogosphere trying to take off; he’s gone into posting overdrive. Slow down a bit Guido, it leaves us wondering where to comment first.

  21. 21
    Ted Bundy says:

    Well done that man absolutely spot on. Amazing how Brown & Co fail completely to understand this simple point.

  22. 22
    Its The Economy Stupid says:

    They can have all the all singing all dancing with bells on internet initiatives they like, its still and always will be The Economy Stupid !

  23. 23
    Gordon McDoom says:

    # 7 “It won’t get far by just screeching “Tories are toffs”.

    We wont ? Oh Bugger !!!!

  24. 24
  25. 25
    Anonymous says:

    It will be someone elses piss they will be using as well knowing them.

  26. 26
    Theme from Ghostbusters says:

    Singalong everyone……

    Who are ya gonna call ?

    “Dolly Draper ! “

  27. 27
    Uncle Si says:

    Very true!!!! but at least there will be some fun on this blog for the next 5 months as most of Nu lab have the brains of a lighthouse cat and it won’t take long for them to give themselves a longer enough piece of rope…. Happy New Guido and All by the way

  28. 28
    Gordon Brown says:

    Sunny, yesterday my life was filled with rain
    Sunny, you smiled at me and really eased the pain
    Oh, the dark days are done
    The bright days are here
    My sunny one shines so sincere
    Sunny one so true
    I love you

  29. 29
    Alex Ferguson says:

    take it easy lad, we don’t want you to get an injury, just yet…..

  30. 30
  31. 31
    AC1 says:

    Talking about the MSM..

    The popular (with everyone except the BBC/Grauniad) “Chinese executing criminal drug mule” HYS seems to have gone to Room 101.

  32. 32
  33. 33

    Had to dash ‘em out before the party starts!

  34. 34
    Mark Oaten says:


    Oh you mean that kind of smearing…

  35. 35
    Anonymous says:

    Doh I didnt realise this was a blog from 2008 and thought it was recent. Still I suppose I fell for it since nothing surprises me about The Labour Party now. No story is to unlikely any more. They will be bringing Back Mandleson next !!!!

  36. 36
    Ratsniffer says:

    The leftwing bloggers blast out their propaganda like tired, clapped out Lord Haw Haws, to a population which is now becoming immune to tractor production stats, lies, obfuscation and smears. The socialist dream has once again fallen like the berlin wall, and will end, as it always does, with someone else having to pick up the pieces.

    The damage these crooks have done will take many years to repair. You won’t hear any of this on left wing bloggs, of course.

    In loonie left land, everything is wonderful, the state knows best and the everyone is equal….but some are more equal than others…

  37. 37
    50 Calibre says:

    They must be fucking desperate to re-employ Draper…

  38. 38
  39. 39
    barefootcontessa says:

    They’ll never make it!

  40. 40
    What next from The Bunker says:

    Interesting new tactic being employed from The Bunker. It seems all the devastation caused by Government Policy and initiatives in all walks of life is now being blamed on the Victims of that devastation.

    Yesterday saw The Prime Minister effectively lay the blame for a wrecked economy at the door of the Voters.

    Today sees Jack Straw, Former Home Secretary lay the blame for the Police being swamped with Bearaucracy at the door of the errr….. Police.

    What next I wonder.

    You really couldnt make this up.

  41. 41

    Having trouble with hyperlinks today.

    So here’s the link to Derek’s photo:

  42. 42
    Sunny Hundals Boys says:

    I can handle it now Peter.

  43. 43
  44. 44
    IngSoc says:

    Get back to work. All of you

  45. 45
    Mr Plum says:

    I will will suffering with too much beeraucracy in the morning

  46. 46
    Uncle Si says:

    Just a thought, Nu Lab has taken away the right to protest because of anti te**or laws and now the right to blog! And they have the cheek to criticise Pres Mun garby and that eye ran fellow via the Cbeebies Channel…… You thought I spelt I RAN funny to stop me being flagged up by MF I but the truth is I can’t spell!

  47. 47
    barefootcontessa says:

    As long as they get paid, why should they care if NuLab loses?

  48. 48
    Uncle Si says:

    Is this MF I or FIA, its just that I hear Bell marsh is a lot nicer than that Cuban place the other lot use!

  49. 49

    Labour bloggers will always fail because they blog by committee. Derek showed us all that. Every post he made was suggested, approved and modified by New Labour apparachniks.

    Independent free thought is considered by Labour to be “nihilistic” (Quote from Hazel Blears, November 5th 2008)

    95,000 of us for every one of them. Remind them. Often.

  50. 50
    barefootcontessa says:

    “I am the sinister minister of ‘Justice’, says Jack the Straw. Hope he’ll be on duty, helping out with the paper work tonight!

  51. 51
    barefootcontessa says:

    Not even at Borders’ 80% erstwhile reduction.

  52. 52
    Jugulike says:

    You can’t blame her.Beeboid males are vile.

  53. 53
    barefootcontessa says:

    All’s well, Brown’s in his bunker.

  54. 54
    red carpet says:

    Probably means there’s an imminent promotion for the gal.

  55. 55

    Pure Animal Farm

    And in May, the cycle begins again. New piglets just waiting for their chance at the milk and apples.

    Tear it down, salt the earth and start again. Use the Swiss model instead.

  56. 56

    Laugh? It’s a good job I am the only one at home at the monent. I don’t have to explain why I am really laughing out loud!

    Thanks for the laugh, Guido!

  57. 57
    Mamba Whips Sooty (anagram) says:

    53 = Labour Party Troll.

  58. 58
    barefootcontessa says:

    Because they’re political fanaticists.

  59. 59
    Gordon ( SoldGoldAtThe ) BottomBrown says:

    I’ve told you; we’ve got ten years of shared prosperity ahead but ONLY if you re-elect me !

  60. 60

    Ah. That would be moment, not monent. Oops!

  61. 61
    What is the Bilderberg agenda and why an eco religion? says:

  62. 62
    barefootcontessa says:

    You should get back in your bunker Gorgon, the bombs are shortly going to drop, and how!

  63. 63
  64. 64
    Maladroit Labour Chump says:

    HAHAHA !! Don’t be stupid ! You’d have to be R E A L L Y desperate to do something that sad.

  65. 65
    Uncle Si says:

    True this – Just after I posted that last blog Mus Stewart came on the telly to remind me to do my tax return on time! how did they know I hadn’t done the bl*ody thing yet ! — Old Orwell was right after all!

  66. 66
    benji says:

    You are Sacha Baron Cohen, and I claim my 15%.

  67. 67
    Joseph O' Mengle says:

    Don’t you just hate these touchy feely bleeding heart liberals.

  68. 68
    Call me Infidel says:

    Beeboid males are generally shirt lifters otherwise they wouldn’t get the job.

  69. 69
    barefootcontessa says:

    P.D.James? Put her in charge of the country. Top interview with stuttering, stammering Thompson of the BBC this am on Radio 4. What a star!

  70. 70
    stilyagi_air_corps says:

    IngSoc? More like SweatSoc!

  71. 71
  72. 72
    Hugh Janus says:

    Yes, what a contrast between PD James and Thompson – she was articulate and forthright, he was all over the place and clearly out of his depth. Reduce his obscene salary immediately.

  73. 73
    barefootcontessa says:

    Doing mine now. Take all the paperwork to bed with me, and a hot water bottle, otherwise get a splitting headache and feel ill!

  74. 74
    Ratsniffer says:

    No, Snottty blamed the middle classes….the clue was that phrase he used “shared prosperity”…

    In other words , take more money from people who work hard, and already pay the most taxes, to finance the great socialist dream….oh, and of course, using Harmperson’s new “social equality” laws, discriminate against the middle classes too…(unless you are one of the political elite middle class, in which case feel free to send your kid to public school, live in a nice expensive low crime area, etc etc usual marxist hypocracy)

  75. 75
    Derek Draper says:

    Just wait till I get hold of that Anton. Not only did he pack Kate’s fudge he got her up the duff and not a penny in alimony.

  76. 76
    barefootcontessa says:

    Incredible,….. man on Radio 4 – 5 o’clock news just now says “Iran are always meddling in Iraq!” thought that was the height of hypocrisy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  77. 77
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    All that flat-lining is very boring to watch. At least Stalin’s Cabinet only took 3 days to check that he was dead. Labours’ lot have known Gordon’s dead for 18 months and still none of them has given him a prod.

  78. 78
    Uncle Si says:

    I know what you mean, a family member is a top Tax lawyer in London and he reckons it virtually impossible not to stitch yourself up with that form. What I do every year is a ‘Just happen to be passing’ visit at my cousins house, even though he lives 120 miles away, swap family news etc and just mention in passing that I’m a bit confused about my paperwork and I just happen to have all my receipts in an old carrier bag in no particular order……. you know the rest Happy New Year

  79. 79
    Uncle Si says:

    That really did make me laugh!!

  80. 80
    Jan says:

    Dolly’s got the opposite of the Midas touch.Whatever he touches turns to sh…..t. Wonder how many of his ‘clients’ have gone to see him with minor personal problems only to emerge weeks later with severe personality disorders????

  81. 81
    South of the M4 says:

    Brainwave? I have yet to see anything come out from the bunker that even hints that the authors have even a tiny brain. They have though, perfected the art of *ucking up all that they touch.

  82. 82

    Bringing in the failed Draper back to the guild of thieves – is that the sound of a thousand barrels being scraped before 6th May?

    Good to see the hoon going down in flames again!

    Happy New Year Guido!

  83. 83
    Master Of War says:

    Ideologies are second place to technology.

  84. 84
    Down with Brown! says:

    I hope the British left enjoyed the 00s. They are not going to have a decade in power again for a very long time.

  85. 85
    Scottish Unionist says:

    This article needs additional citations for verification.
    Please help improve this article by adding reliable references. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed. (January 2008)

    Human Feces (also faeces — see spelling differences), also known as stools, is the waste product of the human digestive system and varies significantly in appearance, depending on the state of the whole digestive system, influenced and found by diet and health. Normally stools are semisolid, with a mucus coating. Small pieces of harder, less moist feces can sometimes be seen impacted on the distal (leading) end. This is a normal occurrence when a prior bowel movement is incomplete; and feces are returned from the rectum to the intestine, where water is absorbed.

    Meconium (sometimes erroneously spelled merconium) is a newborn baby’s first feces. Human feces are a defining subject of toilet humor.

    Contents [hide]
    1 Fecal management
    2 Laboratory testing of feces
    3 Bristol Stool Chart
    4 Color variations of feces
    4.1 Yellow
    4.2 Black
    4.3 Blue
    5 Fecal contamination
    6 Utilization
    7 See also
    8 References

    [edit] Fecal management

    If feces is too hard or large, a plunger might be needed to flush it.Main articles: Night soil, Toilet, Latrine, and Sewage
    The management of feces is an issue of hygiene, since feces contribute to spreading of diseases and intestinal parasites. Toilets were known in ancient India (dated as early as 2,500 BC), in Ancient Rome, Egypt and China, although the contemporary flush toilet originated in 19th century Victorian England.

    Until the end of the 19th century, the primary concern of sewage collection and disposal in the Western world was to remove waste away from inhabited places, and it was common to use waterflows and larger bodies of water as a destination of sewage, where waste could be naturally dissipated and neutralized. With the increased population density this is no longer a viable solution, and special processing of sewage is required. The lack of the latter is a grave sanitary and public health problem in developing countries.

    [edit] Laboratory testing of feces
    Feces will sometimes be required for microbiological testing, looking for an intestinal pathogen or other parasite or disease.

    Biochemical tests done on feces include fecal elastase and fecal fat measurements, as well as tests for fecal occult blood.

    It is recommended that the clinician correlate the symptoms and submit specimens according to laboratory guidelines to obtain results that are clinically significant. Formed stools often do not give satisfactory results and suggest little of actual pathological conditions.

    Three main types of microbiological tests are commonly done on feces:

    Antibody-antigen type tests, that look for a specific virus (e.g. rotavirus).
    Microscopic examination for intestinal parasites and their ova (eggs).
    Routine culture.
    Routine culture involves streaking the sample onto agar plates containing special additives, such as MacConkey agar, that will inhibit the growth of Gram-positive, thick membranes organisms and will selectively allow enteric pathogens to grow, and incubating them for a period, and observing the bacterial colonies that have grown.

    [edit] Bristol Stool Chart

    The Bristol Stool Chart or Bristol Stool Scale is a medical aid designed to classify the form of human feces into seven categories. Sometimes referred to in the UK as the “Meyers Scale,” it was developed by K.W.Heaton at the University of Bristol and was first published in the Scandinavian Journal of Gastroenterology in 1997.[1] The form of the stool depends on the time it spends in the colon.[2]

    The seven types of stool are:

    1.Separate hard lumps, like nuts (hard to pass)
    2.Sausage-shaped but lumpy
    3.Like a sausage but with cracks on its surface
    4.Like a sausage or snake, smooth and soft
    5.Soft blobs with clear cut edges (passed easily)
    6.Fluffy pieces with ragged edges,

    31 December 2009 15:43

  86. 86
  87. 87


  88. 88
    BillyBob ... reduce crime, national debt and carbon footprint, stop immigration? Every little helps! says:

    Draper..?? known as Thrush within the office ‘cos he is an irritating c*nt …. God Bless you, you odious piece of excrement !! “peace”

  89. 89
    barefootcontessa says:

    Is that the gorgon’s bog you’re on about?

  90. 90
    P*ss Poor Politics says:

    So your are the real TAT thats more like it , totaly agree with you for once Happy New Year

  91. 91
    thick as thieves says:

    yes, it doesn’t seem to work for you, does it. you see the problem is you fail to comply with your medication programme.
    we will have to have to bring you back in and try the ECT treatment.
    it worked very well for doctor dick and I am sure it will work very well for you too.
    you will certainly have an electrifying new year’s eve!
    nurse ratched, please prepare the patient.

  92. 92
    thick as thieves says:

    happy new year Guido.

  93. 93
    thick as thieves says:

    happy new year everyone.

  94. 94
    BillyBob ... reduce crime, national debt and carbon footprint, stop immigration? Every little helps! says:

    Happy New Year TAT……… you big tart !!

  95. 95
    Kevin Maguire says:

    Good piece.Thanks for the info.I’ll pass it on to Mark.

  96. 96
    Concrete Post says:

    Not the real TAT far too polite and not enough spelling mistakes.

  97. 97
    Nurse Ratched says:

    Whoever you’re talking about – sorry tat, I’m off out to pretend I’m having an absolutely brilliant time like most of the rest of the population. You’ll have to plug ‘em in yourself.

    Happy new year, btw – we’ll discuss that anger outlet blog therapy treatment when I get back. Make sure the kettle’s boiling.

  98. 98
    P*ss Poor Politics says:

    Its like looking for Lord Lucan or is it like that 80’s book ‘ Masquerade’ and in 6 months time, after solving the puzzle, we will find buried in a field or hanging around a tree in kelly wood. To be honest I quite like the polite one ,the other one keeps calling me a Troll and wants to crush my skull, each to their own I suppose!

  99. 99
    Four eyes says:

    7. Flock of sparrows.

  100. 100
    Dave Cameron says:

    Happy new year you bunch of WANKERS!

  101. 101
    Mark O 10 says:

    great post

  102. 102
    final salary civil servant pensioner says:

    ‘Shoood auuuld akwaintense be forgot and nivver braught tae mind. weeel tak………………’

    That you singing all on your own Gordon awwwwwwwww!

  103. 103
    Dave "Cast Iron Guarantee" Cameron says:

    An old man goes in for his yearly physical, with his wife tagging along.

    The doctor enters the examination room and says to the man, “I will need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample.”

    The old man, being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and asks, “What did he say?”

    The wife yells back to him, “GIVE HIM YOUR UNDERWEAR.”

  104. 104
    Wishful thinking says:

    Is the piece of dog excrement that is Gordon Brown dead yet?

  105. 105
    Wishful thinking says:

    Lovely pair of knockers

  106. 106
    Mr Slater's Parrot says:

    (squiiiiiiirr) (click) APPYNEWYEAR!!! A-URRRRRRKKHH!!!

  107. 107
    Insight says:

    Cannot reveal sources.

    Man who travelled with Brown to Afghanistan several times recently – feedback is that the first time he thought Brown was simply tired and this explained his behaviour.

    Second time he confirmed that Brown is actually a total arsehole.

    Sorry – cannot reveal sources but 100% true.

  108. 108
    scouser says:

    flock of bleedin’ seagulls!!!

  109. 109
    oldfella says:

    I just want to say, at the end of this very trying year, that Sunny Hundal is a twat

    that Michael White is a twat

    and that all politicians are lying, cheating, thieving, obnoxious, self-seving, sycophantic bastard twats

    here’s to a better new year 2010

  110. 110
    Venkman says:

    When there is someone to smear
    on the internet
    Who ya gonna call

    Dolly Draper

    (Repeat ad nauseaum)

  111. 111
    Beezley says:

    A five-star gloat for New Year’s Eve, Mr F.

    Window-lickers to Derek: Look out, it’s behind you!
    Derek: What’s behind me?
    Window-lickers (all together): YOUR CAREER!

  112. 112
    Four eyes says:

    8. Basket of Doberman puppies (Guinness shites).

  113. 113
    Brown and out says:

    and this fraudster is not actually a drug addict?

    Well watch this – the man is riddled with drugs.

  114. 114
    The taste of bitter TAT says:

    yes – the real one is simply (pardon the pun) nasty.

    Unmarried although probably divorced,very few friends and very very bitter.

  115. 115
    Randy Teenager says:

    Here Guido your weather girl is the most beautiful woman i have ever seen.

  116. 116

    An entertaining and prosperous 2010 to you and your brood, Fawkes.

  117. 117

    Graduate of St Dunstan’s, are you?

  118. 118

    Your Termazepam comfort blanket appears to have failed.

  119. 119
    blog consensus says:

    Fuck off.

  120. 120
    Sarah Brown says:


    We had to get them off with a tyre lever.

  121. 121
    Gooey Blob says:

    Happy new year everyone. Let’s make it a good one, by resolving to remove Brown from office whenever the coward chooses to call the election.

  122. 122
    The Curse of Jonah Brown says:

    I should like to wish everybody who contributes to this blog a happy and prosperous new year.

  123. 123

    They also said that in many ways, Iran is the beneficiary of the invasion of Iraq. I don’t suppose they’ll send us a thank you note, though.

  124. 124
    Mr Ned says:

    Party? Is there something special happening? Or anything worth celebrating? There is nothing special about today is there? Just another Thursday!

  125. 125
    Mr Ned says:

    They have gone through the bottom of the barrel and are now scraping the bottom of the shit-pile that the barrels were buried in.

  126. 126
    tat says:

    you promised me a new year enema bitch.

  127. 127
    Jabba the Cat says:

    I can’t wait for the post election ZaNuLab in house bloodbath. There will be very rich pickings indeed for the blogs as the idiots slide down the slippery slope to well deserved political oblivion.

  128. 128
    Mr Ned says:

    I will party like never before on the day after the next election. Celebrating the end of the most vile, criminal, treasonous, corrupt, perverse government in recent history.

    As soon as I sober up, I shall be working to overthrow the vile treasonous corrupt tories too.

    Labour exists to destroy this nation. It is all they ever try to do.

    However the craven, weak, useless, brain-dead The tories refuse to do what is vital and necessary to repair the damage inflicted by this current shitty turdocracy and are completely incapable of repairing that damage. They are utterly irrelevant and have rendered themselves completely impotent.

    I hope that when all these delusional tory voters (who rightly hate labour at the moment) finally wake up to how terrible the tories will be, will decide to vote them out and vote for a pro-UK party.

    What does it take to wake people from the ‘national thought cancer’ that is the belief that we must choose between labour and tory? BOTH FUCK US OVER AS A MATTER OF COURSE!

    We are forever fucked and owned by a foreign Marxist fascist dictatorship until we do vote the usual treasonous parties out of power completely.

  129. 129
    Dave Cameron says:

    My new years resolution is to stop jumping on bandwagons!

  130. 130
    Down with Brown! says:

    Happy new year to everyone apart from Gordon Brown and anyone who is going to vote for him in 2010. In 2010 we get the chance to kick Brown out of Downing Street!!!

  131. 131
    Anonymous says:

    As him and his False Missus sip Champagne whilst discussing where to invest their hello magazine (pass the sick bag ) wedding, baby, dinner party, “Exclusive” Puke On!!!!!!

  132. 132
    Freddie Flintoff says:

    eh up lads , drapers a hoon , Inside tip lads dont rule me out for the ashes next year , Rehab going well , even better when gordon gets a shotgun up his arse , Happy new year and get the peadlos

  133. 133
    Barry MacKenzie says:

    You forgot the Aussie Special: twice round the bowl and pointed at each end.

  134. 134
    Randy Teenager says:

    Does anyone else want to shag Sarah Brown up the bum?

  135. 135
    Engineer says:

    Happy new year to you, Fred, and good luck with the fitness in 2010.

  136. 136
    13eastie (126 days: Goodbye, ☭ordon) says:


    1999: 1.5 million
    2009: 2.5 million

    FTSE 100
    Dec 1999: 6930
    Dec 2009: 5412

    £ / Euro
    Dec 1999: 1.60
    Dec 2009: 1.13

    National Debt as % of GDP
    2000: 33%
    2010: 72%

    The numbers don’t lie.

    Happy Hogmany, Gordumb.

    Now stick your wreckovery up your arse, and fuck off.

  137. 137
    Freddie Flintoff says:

    dont worry lad , Unless you a aussie

  138. 138
    Ratsniffer says:

    OR the other tat is not the real tat…fuckin’ ‘ell…. is anyone who they say they are?

  139. 139
    Freddie Flintoff says:

    My Highlight of the year lads

  140. 140
    Raving Loon says:

    M4 more than 3x what it was when Labour came to power too!

  141. 141
    Dave"Decade of Austerity" Cameron says:

    I was in the supermarket the other day thinking what the strangest combination of products to buy would be.

    The cashier gave me some strange looks over my purchases of dog food, a hammer and KY jelly.

  142. 142
    fruitcake says:

    but toilet paper is cheaper

  143. 143
    Anonymous says:

    We don’t really care Dave, as long as you get that thick сunt out of No 10.

  144. 144
    Dave "Cast Iron Guarantee" Cameron says:

    Labour have no answer to gags like this one

    A man loses his eye in an accident. He goes to the doctors, who insist that he has a glass eye.

    “How much is it to have a glass eye?”

    “It’s very expensive, sir. If you don’t have medical insurance, it’s going to be unaffordable.”

    “Oh. I don’t have insurance, and I’m unemployed. What else do you have available?”

    “We can offer you a wooden eye.”

    So, having no money, the man settles for a wooden eye and goes to a disco that night to show it off. Unfortunately, no women will dance with him, and people are laughing at him. When a slow song comes on, and everybody couples up on the dance floor, he decides to leave.

    Then he notices a woman in the corner without a part. She is revoltingly ugly, with a hunchback, and he knows that she is unlikely to turn him down.

    “Hey.” he says, playing it smooth. “Fancy a dance, love?”

    “Would I!” she blurts.

    “Wood eye!? Yeah, well, fuck you hunchback!”

  145. 145
    British Sanitary Movement says:

    no shit

  146. 146
    Nick Brown says:

    Yeah, what did you do with my fucking order you сunt?

  147. 147
    Technomist says:

    The M25 is not much better either. :)

  148. 148
    Lord Chief Justice says:

    Looking at this:

    It seems quite a bit of luck that the British educated “Pants Bomber’ was apprehended in the good old USA.

    If he was up before one of my lads such as Mr Justice Cocklespittle, he would be looking at a couple of years behind bars, for trying to blow up a plane with nearly 300 people on board, it would have been life ( 5 years ) but hey, he didn’t actually blow anyone up!

  149. 149
    retro says:

    Er… can get glass eyes on the NHS free, retard.

    I would steer clear of American joke books in future, you mug.

  150. 150
    caesars wife says:

    Happy new year Fawkes and evryone else , all the best for 2010 .

    suggest you read Charles clarkes letter again , what does it mention , alas the Damian Macbride approach hasnt quite left no10 , and here we have it the proof . The return of Draper or perhaps more like he never actually left .

    direct gov , why cant we know cost tax payer funded it , an FOI should be in order for these things.

  151. 151
    Sideshow Bob says:

    Attempted Murder? Does anyone get a Nobel Prize for attempted Physics?

  152. 152
    Anonymous Misogynist says:

    Happy New Year Becca…

  153. 153
    Anonymous says:

    Merry Christmas everyone.

  154. 154
    Nurse Ratched says:

    Dream on…

  155. 155
    Anonymous says:



  156. 156
    Cy Nicalarenti says:

    Apparently it’s possible to get a Nobel prize for attempted peace while actually blowing people up.

  157. 157
    Cy Nicalarenti says:

    Brown’s been brain-dead for years. Mandy operates him using a remote control.

  158. 158
    terence patrick hewett says:

    One good kick in the goolies and these liberals fold up straight off. 2020 is going to be fun.

  159. 159
    This Vicious Cabaret says:

    Oh Fatherland, Fatherland,
    Show us the sign
    Your children have waited to see.
    The morning will come
    When the world is mine.
    Tomorrow belongs to me!

    — Derek Draper serenading his beloved Fuhrer, 2008 (reprised 2010)

  160. 160
    sunonmars says:

    This is probably advice coming from the goons being hired from Obama;s campaign, thats exactly what they did to Hillary, smeared her and killed off any damaging story on Obama.

    Won’t work here though, this country still has free blogs and media that won’t be as compliant as to lay down like they did for Obama.

  161. 161
    bandersnatch says:

    STOOLS: The international dimension…

    The Japanese, at least some of them, go in for high-tech loos for more hygenic fecal management/disposal. Squirts of warm water spring up from the bogpan to wash any remaining fecal matter from the sitting (ed… Should that be shitting?) person’s fundament, followed by a blast of warm air to dry.

    The Germans, the more earnestly Teutonic ones, often insist on a little ledge built into the bogpan on which the evacuted turds sit for inspection by the medically obsessed prior to flushing…

    Eat your heart out, Mark!… er…er…

  162. 162
    bandersnatch says:

    Damn. As it is New Year I felt charitable enough to join in a laddish ‘prick ‘n poo’ thread… one that was so much wittier than the usual… and my bit got modded. I should have stayed true to my puritanical self. :-(

  163. 163
    F*ck Off Gordon says:

    And you were doing so well until the last sentence………

  164. 164
    Hampstead Heath Janitor says:

    Anyone else apart from Gordon, you mean?

  165. 165
    Nigel Farago says:

    And that’s just the Tory party……….

  166. 166
    Michael Fish says:

    No, but I once worked for the BBC

  167. 167
    BillyBob ... reduce crime, national debt and carbon footprint, stop immigration? Every little helps! says:

    Our Great Leader looking to save the world again !!!!

  168. 168
    BillyBob ... reduce crime, national debt and carbon footprint, stop immigration? Every little helps! says:

    About as much use as a chocolate fireguard…… they just do not get it !! It is seen as the big bad Christian v Muslim…

  169. 169

    Thanks for the great posting – and happy new year to you all :)

  170. 170
    Beeboid says:

    move along, nothing to see here…

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