From September 2008:
PR Week can reveal that the Labour Party is exploring plans for an online rapid rebuttal unit, designed to kill off damaging stories circulating in the blogosphere. Former lobbyist Derek Draper will oversee the initiative, having recently been called in by Labour’s general secretary to advise on how the party can communicate its message. Labour strategists are keen to respond to the growing influence of right-wing blogs.
Channel 4 covered the bright new dawn here. It didn’t quite work out…
Smearing is much more fun.
It’ll all end in tears. Probably quite quickly.
Phew!! I’ve just run all the way from two threads back
*bends over holding side regaining breath*
I think Guido’s quite amused by the idea of the lefty blogosphere trying to take off; he’s gone into posting overdrive. Slow down a bit Guido, it leaves us wondering where to comment first.
Had to dash ‘em out before the party starts!
A five-star gloat for New Year’s Eve, Mr F.
Window-lickers to Derek: Look out, it’s behind you!
Derek: What’s behind me?
Window-lickers (all together): YOUR CAREER!
Party? Is there something special happening? Or anything worth celebrating? There is nothing special about today is there? Just another Thursday!
take it easy lad, we don’t want you to get an injury, just yet…..
But very expensive!
Cost is no object to NuLiebour when we are paying.
They’ll never make it!
Yes!
Oh you mean that kind of smearing…
Bringing in the failed Draper back to the guild of thieves – is that the sound of a thousand barrels being scraped before 6th May?
Good to see the hoon going down in flames again!
Happy New Year Guido!
They have gone through the bottom of the barrel and are now scraping the bottom of the shit-pile that the barrels were buried in.
scraped?
*fired*.
Here is to the end of Nu Labour in 2010. Let’s hope it is bloody and messy for the bastards. Happy New Year to Guido and all the contributors to his fine online and rapidly growing organ.
LOOKS LIKE 2 TO ME
Let me check.
‘two!’ not ‘poo’ you dozy twat
I will party like never before on the day after the next election. Celebrating the end of the most vile, criminal, treasonous, corrupt, perverse government in recent history.
As soon as I sober up, I shall be working to overthrow the vile treasonous corrupt tories too.
Labour exists to destroy this nation. It is all they ever try to do.
However the craven, weak, useless, brain-dead The tories refuse to do what is vital and necessary to repair the damage inflicted by this current shitty turdocracy and are completely incapable of repairing that damage. They are utterly irrelevant and have rendered themselves completely impotent.
I hope that when all these delusional tory voters (who rightly hate labour at the moment) finally wake up to how terrible the tories will be, will decide to vote them out and vote for a pro-UK party.
What does it take to wake people from the ‘national thought cancer’ that is the belief that we must choose between labour and tory? BOTH FUCK US OVER AS A MATTER OF COURSE!
We are forever fucked and owned by a foreign Marxist fascist dictatorship until we do vote the usual treasonous parties out of power completely.
Labour is pissing in the wind as usual.
It will be someone elses piss they will be using as well knowing them.
As long as they get paid, why should they care if NuLab loses?
“Former lobbyist Derek Draper will oversee the initiative, having recently been called in by Labour’s general secretary to advise on how the party can communicate its message.”
Labour will have to try and work out what it’s message is before it can communicate it. It won’t get far by just screeching “Tories are toffs”.
# 7 “It won’t get far by just screeching “Tories are toffs”.
We wont ? Oh Bugger !!!!
As him and his False Missus sip Champagne whilst discussing where to invest their hello magazine (pass the sick bag ) wedding, baby, dinner party, “Exclusive” Puke On!!!!!!
Can’t beat an honest fair Democrat system,what happened to freedom of speech! If they are still disillusioned into thinking they are going to win after the complete blo*dy mess they left the last decade in then good luck to them, also I thought Nu Lab was broke so how are they paying for this?…I am now going to TUT very Loud!!!!
see McFuckwits party political end of year message on the No 10 website. Lots more of that type of thing to come. In other words you and I the taxpayer will be paying for it.
Illegal of course but since when did anyone in Labour ever give a shit about the law
Very true!!!! but at least there will be some fun on this blog for the next 5 months as most of Nu lab have the brains of a lighthouse cat and it won’t take long for them to give themselves a longer enough piece of rope…. Happy New Guido and All by the way
I am the Law.
Is this MF I or FIA, its just that I hear Bell marsh is a lot nicer than that Cuban place the other lot use!
“I am the sinister minister of ‘Justice’, says Jack the Straw. Hope he’ll be on duty, helping out with the paper work tonight!
True this – Just after I posted that last blog Mus Stewart came on the telly to remind me to do my tax return on time! how did they know I hadn’t done the bl*ody thing yet ! — Old Orwell was right after all!
Doing mine now. Take all the paperwork to bed with me, and a hot water bottle, otherwise get a splitting headache and feel ill!
I know what you mean, a family member is a top Tax lawyer in London and he reckons it virtually impossible not to stitch yourself up with that form. What I do every year is a ‘Just happen to be passing’ visit at my cousins house, even though he lives 120 miles away, swap family news etc and just mention in passing that I’m a bit confused about my paperwork and I just happen to have all my receipts in an old carrier bag in no particular order……. you know the rest Happy New Year
BUY MY BOOK YOU BASTARDS!
I thought it was a good read and passed the time in between other things.
Derek old chap,
You seem to have put on a bit of weight since we last saw you.
Having trouble with hyperlinks today.
So here’s the link to Derek’s photo:
http://www.uglypeople.se/view-picture.php?picture=886
Not even at Borders’ 80% erstwhile reduction.
Just wait till I get hold of that Anton. Not only did he pack Kate’s fudge he got her up the duff and not a penny in alimony.
but toilet paper is cheaper
The leftist blogs are too often government blogs. People want outside voices to represent outside interests, instead of transmitting the latest brainwave from Brown’s bunker.
Well done that man absolutely spot on. Amazing how Brown & Co fail completely to understand this simple point.
Get back to work. All of you
All’s well, Brown’s in his bunker.
IngSoc? More like SweatSoc!
All that flat-lining is very boring to watch. At least Stalin’s Cabinet only took 3 days to check that he was dead. Labours’ lot have known Gordon’s dead for 18 months and still none of them has given him a prod.
Brainwave? I have yet to see anything come out from the bunker that even hints that the authors have even a tiny brain. They have though, perfected the art of *ucking up all that they touch.
PR Week can reveal that the Labour Party is exploring plans for an online rapid fuckup all unit, designed to nurture and release damaging stories which will then blow up in their faces.
SEEMS APPROPRIATE
Labour never gets it – there are literally thousands of people working willingly on the blogosphere – unpaid to ensure they lose the election (ignoring the right wing bloggers )and making sure they get away with nothing.
The people don’t need organisations or party sponsored rebuttal units.
Labour has lost the support of countless voters all on its own by its policies;spin and downright deceit and ineffective attempts at class-war and Brown’s inept mis-management of the economy
The storm is approaching that will soon remove Brown and Co from power and consign Labour to electoral oblivion for a generation
I should be in charge of rebutting.
I can handle it now Peter.
Labour bloggers will always fail because they blog by committee. Derek showed us all that. Every post he made was suggested, approved and modified by New Labour apparachniks.
Independent free thought is considered by Labour to be “nihilistic” (Quote from Hazel Blears, November 5th 2008)
95,000 of us for every one of them. Remind them. Often.
Because they’re political fanaticists.
They can have all the all singing all dancing with bells on internet initiatives they like, its still and always will be The Economy Stupid !
I’ve told you; we’ve got ten years of shared prosperity ahead but ONLY if you re-elect me !
Singalong everyone……
Who are ya gonna call ?
“Dolly Draper ! “
When there is someone to smear
on the internet
Who ya gonna call
Dolly Draper
(Repeat ad nauseaum)
Sunny, yesterday my life was filled with rain
Sunny, you smiled at me and really eased the pain
Oh, the dark days are done
The bright days are here
My sunny one shines so sincere
Sunny one so true
I love you
You should get back in your bunker Gorgon, the bombs are shortly going to drop, and how!
Talking about the MSM..
The popular (with everyone except the BBC/Grauniad) “Chinese executing criminal drug mule” HYS seems to have gone to Room 101.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/talking_point/default.stm
move along, nothing to see here…
Doh I didnt realise this was a blog from 2008 and thought it was recent. Still I suppose I fell for it since nothing surprises me about The Labour Party now. No story is to unlikely any more. They will be bringing Back Mandleson next !!!!
HAHAHA !! Don’t be stupid ! You’d have to be R E A L L Y desperate to do something that sad.
The leftwing bloggers blast out their propaganda like tired, clapped out Lord Haw Haws, to a population which is now becoming immune to tractor production stats, lies, obfuscation and smears. The socialist dream has once again fallen like the berlin wall, and will end, as it always does, with someone else having to pick up the pieces.
The damage these crooks have done will take many years to repair. You won’t hear any of this on left wing bloggs, of course.
In loonie left land, everything is wonderful, the state knows best and the everyone is equal….but some are more equal than others…
Pure Animal Farm
And in May, the cycle begins again. New piglets just waiting for their chance at the milk and apples.
Tear it down, salt the earth and start again. Use the Swiss model instead.
http://direct-democracy.geschichte-schweiz.ch/
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1239436/Only-person-believes-Government-statistics.html
They must be fucking desperate to re-employ Draper…
Dolly’s got the opposite of the Midas touch.Whatever he touches turns to sh…..t. Wonder how many of his ‘clients’ have gone to see him with minor personal problems only to emerge weeks later with severe personality disorders????
Interesting new tactic being employed from The Bunker. It seems all the devastation caused by Government Policy and initiatives in all walks of life is now being blamed on the Victims of that devastation.
Yesterday saw The Prime Minister effectively lay the blame for a wrecked economy at the door of the Voters.
Today sees Jack Straw, Former Home Secretary lay the blame for the Police being swamped with Bearaucracy at the door of the errr….. Police.
What next I wonder.
You really couldnt make this up.
I will will suffering with too much beeraucracy in the morning
No, Snottty blamed the middle classes….the clue was that phrase he used “shared prosperity”…
In other words , take more money from people who work hard, and already pay the most taxes, to finance the great socialist dream….oh, and of course, using Harmperson’s new “social equality” laws, discriminate against the middle classes too…(unless you are one of the political elite middle class, in which case feel free to send your kid to public school, live in a nice expensive low crime area, etc etc usual marxist hypocracy)
What a waste, I always fancied her:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1239594/Jane-Hill-outs-gay-BBCs-inhouse-magazine.html
You can’t blame her.Beeboid males are vile.
Beeboid males are generally shirt lifters otherwise they wouldn’t get the job.
Probably means there’s an imminent promotion for the gal.
Lovely pair of knockers
Just a thought, Nu Lab has taken away the right to protest because of anti te**or laws and now the right to blog! And they have the cheek to criticise Pres Mun garby and that eye ran fellow via the Cbeebies Channel…… You thought I spelt I RAN funny to stop me being flagged up by MF I but the truth is I can’t spell!
Laugh? It’s a good job I am the only one at home at the monent. I don’t have to explain why I am really laughing out loud!
Thanks for the laugh, Guido!
Ah. That would be moment, not monent. Oops!
53 = Labour Party Troll.
Sure?
http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/785629.html
You are Sacha Baron Cohen, and I claim my 15%.
Don’t you just hate these touchy feely bleeding heart liberals.
That really did make me laugh!!
P.D.James? Put her in charge of the country. Top interview with stuttering, stammering Thompson of the BBC this am on Radio 4. What a star!
Yes, what a contrast between PD James and Thompson – she was articulate and forthright, he was all over the place and clearly out of his depth. Reduce his obscene salary immediately.
One good kick in the goolies and these liberals fold up straight off. 2020 is going to be fun.
Incredible,….. man on Radio 4 – 5 o’clock news just now says “Iran are always meddling in Iraq!” thought that was the height of hypocrisy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They also said that in many ways, Iran is the beneficiary of the invasion of Iraq. I don’t suppose they’ll send us a thank you note, though.
Ideologies are second place to technology.
I hope the British left enjoyed the 00s. They are not going to have a decade in power again for a very long time.
This article needs additional citations for verification.
Please help improve this article by adding reliable references. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed. (January 2008)
Human Feces (also faeces — see spelling differences), also known as stools, is the waste product of the human digestive system and varies significantly in appearance, depending on the state of the whole digestive system, influenced and found by diet and health. Normally stools are semisolid, with a mucus coating. Small pieces of harder, less moist feces can sometimes be seen impacted on the distal (leading) end. This is a normal occurrence when a prior bowel movement is incomplete; and feces are returned from the rectum to the intestine, where water is absorbed.
Meconium (sometimes erroneously spelled merconium) is a newborn baby’s first feces. Human feces are a defining subject of toilet humor.
Contents [hide]
1 Fecal management
2 Laboratory testing of feces
3 Bristol Stool Chart
4 Color variations of feces
4.1 Yellow
4.2 Black
4.3 Blue
5 Fecal contamination
6 Utilization
7 See also
8 References
[edit] Fecal management
If feces is too hard or large, a plunger might be needed to flush it.Main articles: Night soil, Toilet, Latrine, and Sewage
The management of feces is an issue of hygiene, since feces contribute to spreading of diseases and intestinal parasites. Toilets were known in ancient India (dated as early as 2,500 BC), in Ancient Rome, Egypt and China, although the contemporary flush toilet originated in 19th century Victorian England.
Until the end of the 19th century, the primary concern of sewage collection and disposal in the Western world was to remove waste away from inhabited places, and it was common to use waterflows and larger bodies of water as a destination of sewage, where waste could be naturally dissipated and neutralized. With the increased population density this is no longer a viable solution, and special processing of sewage is required. The lack of the latter is a grave sanitary and public health problem in developing countries.
[edit] Laboratory testing of feces
Feces will sometimes be required for microbiological testing, looking for an intestinal pathogen or other parasite or disease.
Biochemical tests done on feces include fecal elastase and fecal fat measurements, as well as tests for fecal occult blood.
It is recommended that the clinician correlate the symptoms and submit specimens according to laboratory guidelines to obtain results that are clinically significant. Formed stools often do not give satisfactory results and suggest little of actual pathological conditions.
Three main types of microbiological tests are commonly done on feces:
Antibody-antigen type tests, that look for a specific virus (e.g. rotavirus).
Microscopic examination for intestinal parasites and their ova (eggs).
Routine culture.
Routine culture involves streaking the sample onto agar plates containing special additives, such as MacConkey agar, that will inhibit the growth of Gram-positive, thick membranes organisms and will selectively allow enteric pathogens to grow, and incubating them for a period, and observing the bacterial colonies that have grown.
[edit] Bristol Stool Chart
The Bristol Stool Chart or Bristol Stool Scale is a medical aid designed to classify the form of human feces into seven categories. Sometimes referred to in the UK as the “Meyers Scale,” it was developed by K.W.Heaton at the University of Bristol and was first published in the Scandinavian Journal of Gastroenterology in 1997.[1] The form of the stool depends on the time it spends in the colon.[2]
The seven types of stool are:
1.Separate hard lumps, like nuts (hard to pass)
2.Sausage-shaped but lumpy
3.Like a sausage but with cracks on its surface
4.Like a sausage or snake, smooth and soft
5.Soft blobs with clear cut edges (passed easily)
6.Fluffy pieces with ragged edges,
31 December 2009 15:43
Is that the gorgon’s bog you’re on about?
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…………………..
great post
Good piece.Thanks for the info.I’ll pass it on to Mark.
7. Flock of sparrows.
flock of bleedin’ seagulls!!!
8. Basket of Doberman puppies (Guinness shites).
You forgot the Aussie Special: twice round the bowl and pointed at each end.
no shit
STOOLS: The international dimension…
The Japanese, at least some of them, go in for high-tech loos for more hygenic fecal management/disposal. Squirts of warm water spring up from the bogpan to wash any remaining fecal matter from the sitting (ed… Should that be shitting?) person’s fundament, followed by a blast of warm air to dry.
The Germans, the more earnestly Teutonic ones, often insist on a little ledge built into the bogpan on which the evacuted turds sit for inspection by the medically obsessed prior to flushing…
Eat your heart out, Mark!… er…er…
Damn. As it is New Year I felt charitable enough to join in a laddish ‘prick ‘n poo’ thread… one that was so much wittier than the usual… and my bit got modded. I should have stayed true to my puritanical self.
I HAVE YELLOW POO DOWN MY LEG LOL
http://www.scottishunionist.com/
FUCKER FUCKER FUCKER
Your Termazepam comfort blanket appears to have failed.
Draper..?? known as Thrush within the office ‘cos he is an irritating c*nt …. God Bless you, you odious piece of excrement !! “peace”
So your are the real TAT thats more like it , totaly agree with you for once Happy New Year
yes, it doesn’t seem to work for you, does it. you see the problem is you fail to comply with your medication programme.
we will have to have to bring you back in and try the ECT treatment.
it worked very well for doctor dick and I am sure it will work very well for you too.
you will certainly have an electrifying new year’s eve!
nurse ratched, please prepare the patient.
Not the real TAT far too polite and not enough spelling mistakes.
Its like looking for Lord Lucan or is it like that 80′s book ‘ Masquerade’ and in 6 months time, after solving the puzzle, we will find buried in a field or hanging around a tree in kelly wood. To be honest I quite like the polite one ,the other one keeps calling me a Troll and wants to crush my skull, each to their own I suppose!
yes – the real one is simply (pardon the pun) nasty.
Unmarried although probably divorced,very few friends and very very bitter.
OR the other tat is not the real tat…fuckin’ ‘ell…. is anyone who they say they are?
Whoever you’re talking about – sorry tat, I’m off out to pretend I’m having an absolutely brilliant time like most of the rest of the population. You’ll have to plug ‘em in yourself.
Happy new year, btw – we’ll discuss that anger outlet blog therapy treatment when I get back. Make sure the kettle’s boiling.
you promised me a new year enema bitch.
Dream on…
happy new year Guido.
happy new year everyone.
Happy New Year TAT……… you big tart !!
(squiiiiiiirr) (click) APPYNEWYEAR!!! A-URRRRRRKKHH!!!
Fuck off.
Happy new year you bunch of WANKERS!
‘Shoood auuuld akwaintense be forgot and nivver braught tae mind. weeel tak………………’
That you singing all on your own Gordon awwwwwwwww!
An old man goes in for his yearly physical, with his wife tagging along.
The doctor enters the examination room and says to the man, “I will need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample.”
The old man, being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and asks, “What did he say?”
The wife yells back to him, “GIVE HIM YOUR UNDERWEAR.”
“GIVE HIM YOUR UNDERWEAR.”
We had to get them off with a tyre lever.
Is the piece of dog excrement that is Gordon Brown dead yet?
Brown’s been brain-dead for years. Mandy operates him using a remote control.
Cannot reveal sources.
Man who travelled with Brown to Afghanistan several times recently – feedback is that the first time he thought Brown was simply tired and this explained his behaviour.
Second time he confirmed that Brown is actually a total arsehole.
Sorry – cannot reveal sources but 100% true.
I just want to say, at the end of this very trying year, that Sunny Hundal is a twat
that Michael White is a twat
and that all politicians are lying, cheating, thieving, obnoxious, self-seving, sycophantic bastard twats
here’s to a better new year 2010
and this fraudster is not actually a drug addict?
Well watch this – the man is riddled with drugs.
Here Guido your weather girl is the most beautiful woman i have ever seen.
Graduate of St Dunstan’s, are you?
No, but I once worked for the BBC
An entertaining and prosperous 2010 to you and your brood, Fawkes.
Happy new year everyone. Let’s make it a good one, by resolving to remove Brown from office whenever the coward chooses to call the election.
I should like to wish everybody who contributes to this blog a happy and prosperous new year.
I can’t wait for the post election ZaNuLab in house bloodbath. There will be very rich pickings indeed for the blogs as the idiots slide down the slippery slope to well deserved political oblivion.
And that’s just the Tory party……….
My new years resolution is to stop jumping on bandwagons!
We don’t really care Dave, as long as you get that thick сunt out of No 10.
Happy new year to everyone apart from Gordon Brown and anyone who is going to vote for him in 2010. In 2010 we get the chance to kick Brown out of Downing Street!!!
eh up lads , drapers a hoon , Inside tip lads dont rule me out for the ashes next year , Rehab going well , even better when gordon gets a shotgun up his arse , Happy new year and get the peadlos
Happy new year to you, Fred, and good luck with the fitness in 2010.
dont worry lad , Unless you a aussie
My Highlight of the year lads
Does anyone else want to shag Sarah Brown up the bum?
Anyone else apart from Gordon, you mean?
LABOUR’S NOUGHTIES
Unemployment
1999: 1.5 million
2009: 2.5 million
FTSE 100
Dec 1999: 6930
Dec 2009: 5412
£ / Euro
Dec 1999: 1.60
Dec 2009: 1.13
National Debt as % of GDP
2000: 33%
2010: 72%
The numbers don’t lie.
Happy Hogmany, Gordumb.
Now stick your wreckovery up your arse, and fuck off.
M4 more than 3x what it was when Labour came to power too!
The M25 is not much better either.
And you were doing so well until the last sentence………
I was in the supermarket the other day thinking what the strangest combination of products to buy would be.
The cashier gave me some strange looks over my purchases of dog food, a hammer and KY jelly.
Yeah, what did you do with my fucking order you сunt?
Labour have no answer to gags like this one
A man loses his eye in an accident. He goes to the doctors, who insist that he has a glass eye.
“How much is it to have a glass eye?”
“It’s very expensive, sir. If you don’t have medical insurance, it’s going to be unaffordable.”
“Oh. I don’t have insurance, and I’m unemployed. What else do you have available?”
“We can offer you a wooden eye.”
So, having no money, the man settles for a wooden eye and goes to a disco that night to show it off. Unfortunately, no women will dance with him, and people are laughing at him. When a slow song comes on, and everybody couples up on the dance floor, he decides to leave.
Then he notices a woman in the corner without a part. She is revoltingly ugly, with a hunchback, and he knows that she is unlikely to turn him down.
“Hey.” he says, playing it smooth. “Fancy a dance, love?”
“Would I!” she blurts.
“Wood eye!? Yeah, well, fuck you hunchback!”
Er…..you can get glass eyes on the NHS free, retard.
I would steer clear of American joke books in future, you mug.
Looking at this:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1239689/Female-U-S-teacher-jailed-20-years-sleeping-pupil-13.html?ITO=1708&referrer=yahoo
It seems quite a bit of luck that the British educated “Pants Bomber’ was apprehended in the good old USA.
If he was up before one of my lads such as Mr Justice Cocklespittle, he would be looking at a couple of years behind bars, for trying to blow up a plane with nearly 300 people on board, it would have been life ( 5 years ) but hey, he didn’t actually blow anyone up!
Attempted Murder? Does anyone get a Nobel Prize for attempted Physics?
Apparently it’s possible to get a Nobel prize for attempted peace while actually blowing people up.
Happy new year Fawkes and evryone else , all the best for 2010 .
suggest you read Charles clarkes letter again , what does it mention , alas the Damian Macbride approach hasnt quite left no10 , and here we have it the proof . The return of Draper or perhaps more like he never actually left .
direct gov , why cant we know cost tax payer funded it , an FOI should be in order for these things.
Happy New Year Becca…
Merry Christmas everyone.
Oh Fatherland, Fatherland,
Show us the sign
Your children have waited to see.
The morning will come
When the world is mine.
Tomorrow belongs to me!
– Derek Draper serenading his beloved Fuhrer, 2008 (reprised 2010)
This is probably advice coming from the goons being hired from Obama;s campaign, thats exactly what they did to Hillary, smeared her and killed off any damaging story on Obama.
Won’t work here though, this country still has free blogs and media that won’t be as compliant as to lay down like they did for Obama.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/terrorism-in-the-uk/6921851/London-summit-to-stop-Yemen-becoming-terrorist-breeding-ground.html
Our Great Leader looking to save the world again !!!!
About as much use as a chocolate fireguard…… they just do not get it !! It is seen as the big bad Christian v Muslim…
Thanks for the great posting – and happy new year to you all