December 30th, 2009

Sh*ts of the Year 2009

The lack of real news flow means that the media start doing predictions and awards to pad out space. Dale’s listmania has  once again gone into overdrive, could have sworn he posted “My Top Ten Lists of 2009″. So Guido will, for the same reason, invite co-conspirators to nominate their “Sh*ts of the Year”.
  • Sh*t Politician of the Year
  • Sh*t Journalist of the Year
  • Sh*t Blogger of the Year
  • Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year

The last category can come from any field of human endeavour. Put your nomination in the comments together with less than 30 words giving your grounds for your choice. Do not misunderstand, it is not a vote for another bloody list, it is a contest of wits, you have to make a nomination with illuminating, witty amusing grounds in 30 words or less. Not just say “Brown is a sh*t.” It is for a T-shirt after all…

Multiple entries permitted, a co-conspirator T-shirt to the wittiest nomination received by midnight tomorrow…

UPDATE : Despite emphasising that this post is seeking witty nominations and prize is for the best grounds for the nomination, people are just making nominations without giving reasons. Doh!


433 Comments

  1. 1
    gone fuckin mental says:

    shit mp of the year ? Brown

    fucked up the country , fucked up everything and a poor excuse for a human being

    Like

    • 5

      Wit free abuse ain’t going to win.

      Like

      • 12
        gone fuckin mental says:

        i dont expect to win , just wanted to get it of my chest

        Like

      • 35
        Fred Goodwin's Duck Palace says:

        Can I just say it would be beastly and unsporting to mention Bankers as they are blameless in all things and are just doing God’s work.

        Now if you will excuse me it’s time for me to go and get my balls dipped in gold as I have my morning repaste of caviare washed down with bubbly freshened by with the zingy aquafresh salty tang of taxpayer’s tears.

        Like

      • 49
        Hmmmmm says:

        How about New Labour are History then?

        Like

      • 52
        Jethro Q. Walrus-Titty says:

        I have yet in my lifetime to see more hatred for a PM than Jonah.The man is hated in way Margaret Thatcher never was by her detractors, and in any case she was admired by the majority and is even revered.
        Jonah will never have this, he is despised and soon to be gone, but he and his legacy will be left behind for generations to come.
        The man with “visions”, who was “getting on with the job” is a curse upon this land AND IT IS NOT ENOUGH when he loses next year that he should be allowed to walk away.
        The Nurenberg trials spring to mind, for he and his predecessor should face a jury -they have blood on their hands.

        Like

        • 110
          udderly 'orrible says:

          Blessed Margaret vs Besnotted Brown?

          Like

          • revolting peasant says:

            I’m afraid your memory fails you.
            Thatcher was also despised.

            Like

          • The Maggon was despised, not so much by normal hardworking people with real jobs but by state-teat sucking unionised wastes of space who had spent the preceding ten years actively harming the country; by odd coincidence the very same type of person who today worships Broon as their poster boy.

            Like

          • Dack Blog says:

            I hate/hated both in equal measure but for different reasons.

            Like

          • Infanta says:

            Maggie won 3 General Elections as leader. Brown has won none.
            The broadcast media gave ample space to the likes of Ben Elton (late of this island) to abuse Maggie but , with the exception of permitting a few snide remarks on HIGNFY etc, try to gloss over the ghastliness of the current regime.

            Like

      • 76
        Down with Brown! says:

        Brown is a sh*t!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        Like

      • 411
        Jimmy says:

        “Wit free abuse ain’t going to win.”

        It will get you a job on Guy TV though.

        Like

      • 416

        Why nothing for shit Attorney General of the Year?

        Shit Politician Jacqui Smith for being a Hyacinth Bucket impersonator that claimed for her husbands handjob habit 3 times

        Shit Journo Moonbat at the Guardian for being a supercilious up his own arse righteous prick member of the Church of Climatology

        Blog Kevin Maguire the pit viper of bloggers

        Hoon Michael E Mann for hiding the decline and fudging the numbers

        Like

      • 418
        Road_Hog says:

        Yes, but let’s face it, a £5 tee-shirt isn’t exactly going to encourage the cream of the talented wittiest writers to put much effort into it.

        Like

    • 140
      Soothsayer says:

      SHIT of the YEAR: His Holiness Pope Tony Blair I

      POLITICAL SHIT OF THE YEAR: The Smirking Chancer Tony Bliar
      HOON OF THE CENTURY: John “Gore Bore” Prescott, Master of Eco-Scammery
      ARSE OF THE YEAR: THE END OF THE PIERS MORGAN SHOW
      LOSER OF THE YEAR: Gordon Ramsay
      BULLIES & DHIMMIS OF THE YEAR: The UCU Executive
      WITCH OF THE YEAR: HATTIE McCATTIE
      WANKERS OF THE YEAR: TOUGH TALKIN’ BOY SILLY BLAND (BOTH BRUVS)
      SECOND LOSER OF THE YEAR: THE BOLLOX BOMBER

      LOSERS OF THE LAST DECADE:

      The British Electorate and Anyone Jonah Has Praised

      Like

    • 154
      Biffo says:

      Shit MP? Brown without a doubt – would you trust him to insulate your loft properly? Without overcharging on his expenses?
      Shit Journo? Any one of the snot gobbling swivel-eyed climate change supporting hacks.
      Shit Blogger? Sunny Whatsit from Liberal Conspiracy – for misnaming it ‘Liberal’ anything when it should really be called Labour Commie Totalitarian Conspiracy & for his thoughts on the value of ‘class war’ as a vote winning strategy (probably is – for the Torys).
      Hoon Prix de Shit of the Year? A joint award for Derek Drooper & McBride for their sterling work on LabourLost (the only Labour site hated by Labourites) & for their ‘smear’ strategy that went so horribly wrong (and which gave us all such a laugh).

      Like

      • 208
        Dobby says:

        It’s a year of rich pickings to be sure. Can we have a female category too?

        Like

        • 223
          Dobby says:

          May be a cross bencher category too – for Lord urmm… Grand Pooba

          Like

        • 401
          Biffo says:

          Female only list?
          Shit MP? Harridan Harperson for her Equalities Bill which ensures that we are all definitely UNEQUAL in the eyes of Gord & his demented acolytes.
          Shit Journo? Got to be Polly Twaddle – rattling on about Gord & his Good Deeds & his Improvement of Life for the Proles, meanwhile querying why people get paid a decent wage & gazing fetchingly from her villa in Tuscany as she glugs down the champers – typical example of a Champagne Socialist.
          Shit Blogger? Kerry McCarthy – extolling the benefits of Socialism while ensuring that her constituents from East Mogadishu will never actually have the opportunity to achieve anything in their new homeland.
          Prix de Hoon? Obviously Fat Jacky, the UK’s favorite (NOT) – and ugliest -Cookery Teacher, promoted far beyond her capabilities, with her patio heater, her ‘first residence ‘ in her sister’s back room, her bath plug, her husband’s gay porn & her sheer fucking stupidity over ID cards.

          Like

      • 259

        Shit politician of the year? Phil Woollass – an utter nonentity whose attempts to juggle Daily Mail appeasement with his Dhimmi status as MP for Oldham (North West Frontier province) have led to him being nearly as funny as his great leader.

        Shit journalist of the year has to go to the execrable Johann Hari of the ‘Independent’ for his utterly ruthless Fisking of the global warming skeptics, preempting even Millwatt with the ‘flat earthers’ jibe, and his refusal to even consider that Railway Engineer Pachauri might be talking out of his well padded arse.

        Shit blogger of the year? Tough one this, but Kerry McCarthy MP for Mogadishu East must be on the list – this jumped up solicitor’s secretary should return to conveyancing forthwith, as she fails even to entertain with her utter drivel.

        And the Hoon Prix D’Shit of the year must be the Maximum Imbecile himself, for his contributions to the economy, climate change, Afghanistan and his latest wheeze of entering a pissing contest with the Chinese over the execution of a deluded Asian taxi driver for being stupid enough to carry 4kg of smack into a country with the death penalty (obviously not after the Muslim vote at all).

        Like

        • 327
          The Grim Reaper says:

          Unfortunately he has just given his support to Sui Kyi. She deserves better than the Curse of Jonah.

          Keep praising Mandlebum of Boy, Ali Campbell, Tone and Queen Slot Gob and Labours chances in the May Election – Gord the Fraud – and all will be well.

          Like

    • 172
      Driscal Fag says:

      A. It is the grossest insult to humanity, even its lowliest examples, to be compared in any way with Brown

      B. Brown should have a special category all to itself – “which current Prime Minister most deserves to be placed on an impaling spike as soon as can be arranged, with the carcass available for the amusement of the electorate?”

      Like

    • 325
      The Grim Reaper says:

      So many to choose from but the Top Hoon of the Year must go to:

      THE BOLLOX BOMBER

      (he who will no longer be able to procreate – that Nigerian geezer fresh out of semen from Yemen who literally blew his balls off over Detroit. Pants! Not dissimilar to the Anal Bomber whose butt bomb went off at Riyadh Airport, leaving only a stained concrete crater).

      Like

  2. 2

    I nominate everyone, myself included cos this was a team effort after all. Just a shame we’ve got shit coaches.

    Like

  3. 3
    Hugh Janus says:

    Shit journalist of the year must surely be Michael White of the Grauniad. Following his recent appearance before Brillo he now sports two arseholes.

    Like

  4. 4
    Right Bastard says:

    Gordon Brown – looks, smells and tastes like shit. He even talks it.

    Like

  5. 6
    miserable old git says:

    It has to Gordo for me.–George Washington couldn’t tell a lie.Blait couldn’t tell the truth,Brown can’t tell the difference

    Like

  6. 7
    Sarah Tweet says:

    a couple of lovely hours – nice walk in the icy cold with my husband, bit of therapeutic vacuuming under the tree and a good read

    SarahBrown10
    http://twitter.com/SarahBrown10/statuses/7170543703

    I nominate Sarah Brown as shit of the year for standing by her “man”.

    Like

  7. 8
    Anonymous says:

    Polly Twaddle Twatbee: for advocating a new quango called the high pay commision to stop people in the private sector earning “alot of money”

    What a great way to end the recession Pol

    Like

    • 132
      Engineer says:

      Polly earns quite a lot doesn’t she? Perhaps she should set the example….

      Like

      • 252
        Animal says:

        Polly Toynbee is a monument to hypocrisy, lecturing people on those evil high paid private sector fold while she earns – conveniently – just below any threshold she mentions should be the watermark, and talking shite about global warming yet forgetting her comfy little villa that she jets off to at the drop of a hat.

        How that woman has not been exposed for the utter lying joke she is I cannot understand. If anyone needs investigating it’s her, the scheming sour-faced sow.

        Like

  8. 9
    Hugh Janus says:

    Shit politician of the year? None other than Gordo McBust – he’s in a league of his own.

    (Sorry Guido, can’t think of anything witty to say about the bastard – seeing him and even thinking about him makes me want to vomit copiously.)

    Like

  9. 10

    # Sh*t Politician of the Year = Gordon
    # Sh*t Journalist of the Year = Mickey white
    # Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year = Eddie Balls
    # Sh*t Blogger of the Year = Sunny Hundal. Two years running. If he wins next year he gets to keep the title forever.

    Like

  10. 13
    toryrascal says:

    Shit politician – Ed Bollocks.

    Shit journalist – James Macintyre.

    Shit blogger – Sunny Hundal.

    Hoon Prix d’Shit – Bob Ainsworth. Simply because a Carry On character shouldn’t be put in charge of the most powerful military in Europe.

    Like

    • 19
      Hugh Janus says:

      Bob Aintworthatoss – a most worthy contender Toryrascal, but even this professional village idiot pales into insignificance when judged against his leader.

      Like

    • 48
      Jack Douglas says:

      Ooooh luvvie…playing Bob Ainsworth has been a real challenge. After years resting I needed to raise my public profile. Sid picked up the role of Alan Sugar and Charles Hawtrey’s Hilary Benn has been spectacular. I was the natural choice. Glad to see Babs is moving to play Rosie Winterton shortly.

      Like

    • 125
      Dick the Prick says:

      Sir/Maaaaaam – I’m in complete agreement. Seconded.

      Like

  11. 14
    wycombewanderer says:

    Shit politician of the year.
    Where the hell do you start! But fish rot from the head so it must be Macavity
    Shit journo’s got to be Toynbee.
    Shit blogger; Dolly Draper’s gone, so it has to be Sunny hundal.
    The hoon prix d’shit must go to all of us for not starting a frigging revolution!

    Like

  12. 15
    Geordieboy says:

    Shit journalist of the year: Sparrow of the Guardian:

    A totally biased little leftie sh*t who can only see the colour red. His dialogue on PMQ’s is always one sided.

    Like

  13. 16
    Hanglemez Pallaccini says:

    Shit politician of the year:

    David Cameron.

    I mean come on!!…only 10 points ahead after ALL that Brown has done this year???? The guy is simply too fukn cautious. Where’s the fire, anger and passion?? We’re sleepwalking towards a hung parliament and we have this slimy, smooth twat to blame.

    Like

    • 24
      Dave's New Year Message says:

      Dave is fast becoming a liability…Why did they decide to video him next to a lampshade?

      Like

    • 111
      Real Alternative says:

      Oh you mean “cast iron” Dave? He’s too busy love-bombing LibDems to do anything useful. And when he become PM he will impose green taxes on us. And he will keep the taxes that Brown has imposed on us (Conservatives believe in low taxes, my arse). And not only will he spare the bloated NHS from cuts but he will actually *increase* the amount of money they waste!

      One thing is for sure, when Cameron becomes PM we will still be in the same shite as we are now because Cameron does not have the balls to change anything. the heir to Blair is taking his title too seriously and will give us bluLabour.

      Like

      • 157
        I am Sick says:

        Heir to Bliar Dave, is, like his idol, a conviction free entity. He believes in nothing except power, nothing at all.

        He will get the gig too, though only because McCretin and his claque of morons and thieves are so dire.

        Don`t expect any radical change from Dave, you will have more chance of landing a top job in one of the 14 new Quangoes he wants to introduce, than that.

        Like

        • 214
          Allan@Aberdeen says:

          Cast iron Dave believes only in the appearance of power. If he really believed in having power, he would have kept some for himself instead of handing it all to Brussels. He is Blair, no doubt about that – and Blair has been found out by everyone except dense Tory voters.

          Like

    • 269
      Bugger Lags says:

      Cameron couldn’t score in barrel full of fannies

      Like

  14. 17
    Praguetory says:

    Baroness Ashton deserves more recognition…

    Like

    • 21
      Hugh Janus says:

      …but not as much as Baroness Scotland.

      Like

    • 25
      Jaqui says:

      Especially for being so vociferous on behalf of the Brit/EU citizen executed by the Chinamen!!!

      Shit politico of the year is anyone who supported the ID card fiasco ( now abandoned). MSM not making much of the report that the knicker bomber managed to get on the Delta airliner without a passport FFS!!!

      Like

  15. 20
    Down with Brown! says:

    Sh*t Politician of the Year – So many to choose from: Jonah Brown, Ed Ballsup, Phil Woolarse, Hazel Bleers, BananaBoy, Piggie Jacqui, Pixie Cooper, Hoon Geoff Hoon, Fiddling McNaughty, On the make Mr Blair. And that’s just NuLabour! The winner must be Gordon of Bunkerland for fucking up this country, while telling everone he’s saved the world.

    Sh*t Journalist of the Year – Michael Shite must win. Second the foul two-headed beast that is Jackie Ashley/Andrew Marr.

    •Sh*t Blogger of the Year – Two awards here:

    Little boy in a man’s world award to Will Straw for his “evidence based blog”. The problem was the evidence was crap and compiled from a dodgy Alaistair Campbell dossier.

    Car-Crash blogger to Derek Draper formerly of Labour List. His attempt to torpedo the Tories in fact torpedoed Team Brown.

    •Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year – Again so many to choose from: Bono “every time I clap a child in Africa dies”, so stop clapping! Nick”London isn’t British”, it’s just the capital city of London Griffin. Alaister Campbell, still full of shite after all these years. Gordon Jonah Brown for jinxing everything he touches. But no the award must go to Damain McBride, the Hoon of year!

    Like

  16. 22
    Dun Warmin now Freezin says:

    Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year

    Dr Rajendra Pachauri [Chair of the IPCC] – for services to the environment, particularly his carbon enriched pad at 160 Golf Links, New Delhi and his support for airlines through publicly-funded airmiles supporting his personal business interests.

    Like

  17. 23
    Stuart says:

    Al Gore for the Hoon.

    For deliberately misrepresenting Global Warming despite his best personal efforts to burn as much carbon as possible.

    Like

  18. 26
    Stepney says:

    Shit Politician – for services to the pornography trade, for the arrest of Damian Green and for troughing of the very highest order: everyone’s favourite Cookery teacher, Jacqui Smith.

    Shit Journalist: for bringing down the UK banking sector almost single handedly: the man with the most irritating voice in world history: Robert Peeehhhhhhhhsstton.

    Shit Blogger: James MacInctyre for reasons too many to mention; let’s just rely on the supposition that if he says it’s going to be sunny, you’d best take an umbrella.

    Hoon Prix de Shit: Damian MacBride – no-one knew just how low a slimeball like MacBride could go although we did have a glimpse. The question remains as to how much the saviour of the known universe knew, approved of and commissioned the smear campaign. That will have to wait for next year but for now the man who delighted rolling in the mud and shit in the gutter deserves this, the very highest accolade.

    Like

  19. 27
    Catosays says:

    Shit politician….Quentin Davies for claiming £20,700 for a bell tower and then insisting it was a joke. Ho fucking Ho!

    Shit journalist….Kevin ‘Toilets’ McGuire. Cos he’s an arse and arses need toilets.

    Shit Blogger…. Sunny Hundal… about as Sunny as a London fog.

    Hoon prix d’shit…..Gotta be Tony Blair…a real nice guy…so he says.

    Like

  20. 29
    Anonymous says:

    Hoon Prix Shit of the year

    Derek Simpson and Tom Woodley the joint secretary generals of unite.

    for attempting to ruin Xmas. 12 Days you utter utter hoons shits

    Like

    • 405
      Not 'alf! says:

      Is Derek Simpson real?

      I thought he was a character out of “Carry on at your Convenience”.

      Wasn’t he the shop steward at W.C. Boggs?

      Like

  21. 30
    notareargunner says:

    Shabby Malik – Monstery of Justice

    An oximoron contrived thru NuLieber; def:- New Burnley dictionary of BULL shit.

    a) Ox… the beasts of burden they wont eat in public. New def: Yorkshire electorate, (b)moron: same as new def.

    Like

    • 36
      notareargunner says:

      I left the I out deliberately cos I think this Hunt has too many letters. Should have just spelt F.Off…

      Like

  22. 32
    Not Now Cato says:

    Sh*t Politician of the Year

    This is a tough one, it has been a hard-fought competition with many excellent entries from the Labour party alone. In the final analysis, I nominate Jack Straw, because:

    – he championed the freedom of information act then tried to amend it to cover up the MPs, including his, expenses.

    – As the head honcho of the Orwellian “Ministry of Justice”, he not only failed to halt the process of extradition of Gary Mckinnon to the USA, he actively encouraged it.

    This from the man who allowed General Pinochet, the mass torturer and murderer to go free.

    This from the man who freed Ronnie Biggs and the Libyan bomber al-Megrahi (the terrorist who has killed the most on British soil).

    (p.s. Nice to see Gordon Brown starting a war with China over the execution of an asian opium smuggler).

    Like

    • 87
      Dick Scratcher says:

      CORRECTION: …asian MUSLIM opium smuggler.

      Like

      • 365
        TOO FAR says:

        Yes, Straw… the best sugestion so far (seriously) a total arse licker.
        the man makes desions to better his position in ANY thing then he screws up, then denies it. please look back at his achievements errrrrr. What? None! of any use.
        Used to make “love” to Blair then Broon.
        Now!!!! as been noticed, now want’s to stab Broon in the back NOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE HIM AS PM?
        No! he’s a total arsehole Two faced back stabing twat WITH A SERIOUS INFERIORITY COMPLEX.
        F**k it can’t stand the “man”

        Like

  23. 33
    Tapestry says:

    Herman van Rumpoy..sh*t politician of the year.

    Stupid name, no hair, reads his speeches and claims the EU to be a middle echelon of a One World Government. More like a Parish Councillor than a President of Europe.

    Like

  24. 34
    REEVO says:

    Easy, a good gentle start to the new years fun…

    Shite politico of the year = All of them.

    Serving themselves before country, even the ones that say they did not dip stood by and said/did NOTHING!

    Shite Jurno of the year – All of them.

    A dying breed thats well past its sell by date and good riddance, they still don’t get it. OPINION IS NO LONGER THE PRESERVE OF THE FEW.

    Shite BLOGGER of the year = Ian DALE.

    The most boring “give us a job” self promotion out there!

    Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year = Joint Winners

    Harriet Harming and Pete Mandel Bum

    Its so cold outside they even have their hands in their own pockets!

    Like

  25. 40
    The Future's bright the Future's been cracked says:

    OT

    Mobile phones are supposed to be the secure future for banking, shopping, medical records etc. Guess what Mobile phones are NO longer secure.

    Secret mobile phone codes cracked

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/8429233.stm

    I think this could have massive implications.

    Like

    • 46
      Andy Coulson says:

      We cracked them long ago at the news of the screws son
      ask any Royal or celeb

      Like

      • 141
        Government Boffin says:

        No you didn’t. You just used the default voicemail PIN to access the voicemail of clueless royals and celebs. That is kindergarten level of hacking.

        Like

    • 64
      Hugh Janus says:

      How do you think the security services monitor mobile phone calls?

      Like

      • 68
        Anonymous says:

        Yep, that is why the algorithm was used in the first place.

        Like

        • 100
          Nike says:

          Report in the Telegraph about the Telecos concerned about having to keep all logs for e-mail, txt, and speech/data for up to a year.
          WTF, every keystroke, every button press, every voice modulation, every datastream has been rigourously stored and analysed for decades. And I mean for everyone, all the time in every country that I am aware of.
          The casual hacker was always able to access analogue. Digital was always a bit harder. Looks like that has been cracked now. Never takes long.

          Like

          • Government Boffin says:

            After 9/11 GCHQ employed so many database engineers that the City had problems replacing people who left their jobs. Of course the recession was caused by other issues, but I’m sure it was not helped by the fact that for many years finance firms have not been able to get the best database engineers because GCHQ was employing them.

            Like

    • 138
      Government Boffin says:

      Makes no difference at all.

      1) you can move from GSM to 3G where more secure encryption (A5/3) is used

      2) the ‘hack’ is not something that anyone can do (he says that $30,000 worth of equipment is needed, but that is rather optimistic)

      3) government agencies broke this encryption years ago, they’ve been snooping for years

      4) privacy is pointless for most young people who don’t think twice about shouting personal details into their mobile phones on the train

      Basically this announcement is from a publicity seeker with an ulterior motive: he has said that his intention is to make mobile phone operators move to A5/3 encryption, which means replacing every GSM handset and every GSM transmitter tower. That will benefit certain commercial companies. I wonder if any journalist has been bothered to ask Nohl who funds his lifestyle?

      Like

      • 225
        Anonymous says:

        “”All in all, we consider this research, which appears to be motivated in part by commercial considerations, to be a long way from being a practical attack on GSM,” the spokeswoman said. ”

        Oh how they could wish to remove all the old infrastructure and force everyone to buy a new phone. As for all hacking, it is much easier to have someone on the inside. Once the new technology is the only way to communicate, they will have true access and positioning on everyone. So why not use privacy fear to make people jump to a system that has no real privacy.

        Like

    • 260
      Animal says:

      GSM had security flaws long before this team cracked the algorithm.

      Besides, do you seriously think it’s new? GCHQ managed it a long, long time ago.

      Like

  26. 45
    Raving Loon says:

    Sh*t Politician of the Year: Ed Balls

    Despite it being seemingly against the laws of physics, he’s managed to come across as even less likeable than that one eyed hoon of hoons, Gordon “Mandy’s left nut” Brown.

    Sh*t Journalist of the Year: Polly Toynbee

    No competition really. Manifestly wrong on every point of public debate. Sociopathicly loyal to policies mathematically proven to get your house repossessed.

    “Sh*t Blogger of the Year”: Group Award

    Anyone lacking the common courtesy of letting a dying dog die in piece, to have the audacity to post on LabourList. Just let it go, seriously!

    “Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year”: David Cameron

    After a decade of socialism and soft tyranny, depriving the people of all hope of change is Davey boy: social democrat with a blue tie.

    Like

    • 153
      Real Alternative says:

      People keep saying that Polly Toynbee is the shite journo of the year, but don’t forget that she’s Cameron’s favourite journo, so that makes him the shite politician of the year too.

      Like

      • 219
        Allan@Aberdeen says:

        Agreed. Cameron is the sh*t politician of the year because he deprives us of a serious, immediate alternative to Brown. One thing that Nulab has learnt is that if you can nobble the Opposition, then there is no opposition. Cameron is their man and NuLab’s project to ruin the UK will run even when they are not nominally in government.

        Like

    • 372
      Colonel Nut says:

      Seconded

      Like

  27. 50
    HD says:

    OT

    Gordon Brown exposed?

    “Put simply, Gordon Brown’s speech reversals are devastating. They are highly incongruent and show a man who is knowingly leading Britain down a path of destruction. When talking about swine flu he says in reverse, scared we scam ‘em. When talking about putting money in people’s pockets he says backwards, we damn you, and when talking about a rise a repossessions he says we shattered you. These reversals are all coming from the conscious mind which indicates he is very much aware of the damage he is causing. On the unconscious level he is in sabotage mode and his reversal, your lips will fuck the wolf, indicate that something he will say in the near future will be his undoing. Listen to his speech reversals and see for yourself!………..

    http://www.reversespeech.com/brown0709.htm

    Like

  28. 51
    backwoodsman says:

    You missed the most important category, that of nulab sh1t head with most blood on his hands :
    The clear winner is obviously brown / aintworthatoss , for their criminal policy of starving the army of funds and sending them out to get blown apart as a futile gesture.
    Runner up is the little noticed lesser spotted hypocrit , hilarity benn. You know when labour think they’ve got a really incompetent arsehole on the team, because they let them loose on the countryside, think becket & n brown and burning cows. Meanwhile benns’ refusal to do anything about TB in badgers means that tens of thousands of heathy cattle are slaughtered every year as reactors – but don’t worry, because benn supports the farcial hunt ban, which has actually resulted in more people hunting.

    Like

    • 63
      Anonymous says:

      You missed B’Liar of B’Liar for blood letting, El Gordo is stuck in the rut made by lie, probably thinks B’Liar got away with it so why not him.

      Like

    • 65
      Engineer says:

      DEFRA – Department for the Elimination of Farming and Rural Activities.

      Like

      • 105
        Nike says:

        They handled the Foot and Mouth re-emergence ever so well though. Who would have thought that the other Northern European countries had exactly the same problem? Beasts killed in situ and then taken in covered wagons to covert incineration units. To be fair the Krauts were already a dab hand at most of this problem solving.
        What did we do? Burnt the beasts in the open air on pyres, just so retro, and cute.We had to pay extra for the old railway sleepers as well.

        Like

    • 74
      Access to the Countryside says:

      It’s the fooking cattle that are giving their TB to the poor badgers not the other way around. Fooking farmers and gamekeepers are destroying our countryside and the worst offenders belong to the Huntryside alliance – a organisation for bib-wearing, straw- in-mouth, incestuous backwoodies.

      Like

  29. 53
    Alan Douglas says:

    Mr G Brown for sh*t politician of the year :

    Can’t do it in 30 words, but this is WHY :

    HAS IT COME TO THIS ?
    (With apologies to Percy Bysshe Shelley’s Ozymandias)

    An observer – with quick yet antique mind –
    has said a vast and useless bust of stone
    stands in the House. Of a similar kind,
    power-drunk, his shattered visage bores; frown,
    the cynic’s lip, that sneer of low command
    tell that God the sculptor those passions read
    which yet survive : indecision in what’s planned :
    yea/nay for election, which biscuit fed ?
    And on his pedestal these words appear
    “I’m Gordon Brown, PM of all PMs:
    look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!”
    Nothing worthwhile remains. Round what’s condemned
    of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
    the lone and levelled lands stretch far away ….

    Alan McAlpine Douglas

    Like

  30. 57
    Andrew Efiong says:

    # Sh*t Politician of the Year
    Perhaps a collective award to the Labour Party MPs because they can’t seem to understand Brown is dooming them to defeat.

    # Sh*t Journalist of the Year
    Polly Toynbee. If she was writing 2000 years ago she’d find ways to tell us that the Herod’s Slaughter of the Innocents was beneficial public spending and that King Herod was actually quite witty in private, that he was “getting on with the job” and having brought Judea close to bankruptcy, still deserved to be elected.

    # Sh*t Blogger of the Year
    Sh*t Blogger of the Year: Derek Draper, ’nuff said.

    # Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year
    Ed Balls: he apparently cleared his desk at the Dept Education thinking he was going to be made Chancellor over the weekend but then got pwned by Darling. Loser!

    Like

  31. 58
    Blow me !! says:

    Sh–t politician of the year HAS to be ” Call me Dave” .Word on the street hereabouts is that he has totally blown his credibility over the referendum issue and already lost the election. If only he could display some balls!!. He talks like he has a smoothie up his rectum . Sam should get out the thigh boots and riding crop and give him a bloody good thrashing .It may just knock some sense into him.

    Like

    • 160
      Real Alternative says:

      I agree. It makes you ashamed to be a conservative with a twit like him in charge. People should be begging him to take charge, yet the chinless tosser has thrown away that opportunity. I am hoping for a real Conservative to take over the leadership after the election, but it would be better if one did it now.

      Like

    • 185
      ExEng says:

      A follower of fashion.

      No one will vote for DC unless the Cons work out a new twist on the “Vote Blair and you might get Brown strategy” They need do create a core cabinet type party, so that the leader is only seen as someone who shakes hands. They must give us a definite core team that WILL be consistent through the whole 5 years.

      Only then will they unite their potential electorate. Currently I would NOT vote for DC.

      Like

      • 351
        Anonymous says:

        I thought DC was the puppet front man for a leadership team ( ?

        The big question is why DD committed political suicide twice – once when he had the leaderdship contest in the bag (he had only to repeat the script he was using at fringe meetings) and again when he was upstaging his leader something rotten by shredding bliar after bliar.

        As one of the few MPs to understand business (London Business School and Harvard) and security (SAS Reserve) did he look over the parapet and decide it was not worth his soul.

        Just how bad is the situation the Conservatives will inherit?

        Like

  32. 59
    Down with Brown! says:

    Most Sh*t performance in an interview:

    Like

    • 116
      Anonymous says:

      It’s the look of sheer effrontery that I like, the moment that he realized that not all the media were playing New Labour’s tune, like they have been for the past twelve years.

      Like

  33. 60
    Engineer says:

    My nomination for Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year goes to Professor Phil Jones, formerly (well, it should be if there’s any justice) of the University of East Anglia.

    Professor Jones’ single-minded determination to bend the facts to fit the theory, to massage the computer models, and to influence scientific opinion by silencing dissenters, and his apparent willingness to return us to the economic middle ages is worthy of the world’s finest dictators.

    Damn – more than thirty words….

    Like

  34. 61
    Man With a Very Hot Bladder says:

    # Sh*t Politician of the Year

    Ainsworth – not fit to smell the steam off the piss of the meanest private soldier in Afghanistan.

    # Sh*t Journalist of the Year

    Polly Toynbee for barking hypocrisy of the most nauseating kind.

    # Sh*t Blogger of the Year

    Sunny Hundal for having a name that sounds like a crap Japanese car. And a crap blog to boot.

    # Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year

    Joint winners: Mandelson and Gordon Brown – there is more socially-acceptable sewer slime in Westminster than these two creatures.

    Like

    • 188
      Biffo says:

      MR Sewer Slime to you Sunshine! And I can assure you that my family & I are a lot more socially acceptable (and also smell better) than the Laural & Hardy team of Mandelson & Brown.

      Like

  35. 62
    The winner is.... says:

    Marcus Brigstocke…just cos he was such a twat on Question Time, twice.

    Like

  36. 66
    Down with Brown! says:

    Biggest lie: Gordon lies about being on pills.

    Like

  37. 67
    Tom FD says:

    Surely the person who rises head and shoulders above the rest as shit blogger is Derek Draper. He is surely the first person in history to damage his own party through his blogging activity. It baffles me that he’s allowed to continue as a psychotherapist but I’d be shocked if he has any clients at this point. Smearing seems to be a family affair for the Drapers; last month his wife was condemned in the media for telling massive fibs about Mariah Carey.

    He faces strong competition from the ridiculously dishonest James MacIntyre, but shit journalist of the year has to be Michael White, who in a year of daft journalism u-turns trumped them all by publishing two contradictory articles about whether or not there would be a hung parliament ON THE SAME DAY.

    Shit politician would have to be David Miliband, who having realised any leadership ambitions are dead in the water thanks to an unfortunately placed banana has decided to go on the offensive – really offensive, actually, as he made a colossal effort to smear his opponents as consorting with racists. I don’t know if this is the first foreign secretary whose partisan antics have damaged Britain’s diplomatic relations, but I hope he’s the last. Dishonourable mention goes to Bob Ainsworth who is too proud of his working class roots to take his job seriously, regardless of how many of our brave soldiers die for it.

    Prix d’shit: perhaps Ed Balls and Yvette Cooper who have got away with murder on their expense claims. Likewise Alistair Darling pulled exactly the same stunt as Hazel Blears and worse but he was neither publicly humiliated nor sacked like she was. But it has to go to Damian McBride who as a publicly-paid secret smear merchant ultimately embodies how corrupt our politics have become, not least that for several hours after the smear story broke Downing Street fully intended to keep him on.

    (Sorry I missed the part about the 30 word limit.)

    Like

  38. 69
    eddie foster says:

    Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year – Barak O’Bama for changing, in less than a year, “yes we can!” into “maybe we might be able to – if we can bribe enough Democrats in both Houses”.

    Like

  39. 70
    Down with Brown! says:

    Most crap and embarrassing moment:

    Like

  40. 71
    streamfisher says:

    I think everybody is shitted out Guido, its virtually impossible to parody parody, like a fox parachuted into a Turkey farm, just where do you start?.
    Shit poster of the year would have more mileage.

    Like

    • 81
      Dack Blog says:

      True. They’re a tired joke that’s just not funny anymore.

      Like

    • 121
      Engineer says:

      Sh*t poster of the year on this site has to be the “dead baby” character – it’s beyond sick.

      Like

    • 387
      Mr Ned says:

      I agree. Every time I try to find a humorous response to these shits I have a sense of humour failure. They are so bad that they are simply beyond parody. It is impossible to exaggerate their incompetence or their contemptuous hatred for vast swathes of the electorate.

      Like

  41. 72
    Casual conspiritor says:

    Sh*t Politician – has to be Jackboots, even she admitted she was unqualified for the job. However she did have the unqualified support of Chimney who, like the rest of us enjoys a porno and hand shuffle. Claiming for a bath plug! says it all!

    Sh*t journalist and blogger – a few candidates, but the awards go to Toenails for his unstinting crap regurgitation of Liebour lies even in the face of the blindingly obvious, his partiality for the “reds” out does Toilets by a mile!

    Hoon prix de sh*t – after careful consideration the winner is the one and only Lord of all he surveys, the saviour of McCyclops, the Mr Fixer and one time pauper, now multi millionaire…..His Highness, Lord Fondle-bottom of boy. He has something of Uriah Heep (not the musical combo – the odious Dickensian character) about him, oily and sneaky, downright nasty in fact.

    Like

  42. 75
    Dick Scratcher (Tebbitite Revolutionary) says:

    Shit politician – Lord Snooty – metropolitan, middle-class liberal, dire at PMQs recently, elitist, cliquey, Mr Punch lookalike, spineless, insincere, should have larger lead by now. We need nationalist populism you ponce.

    Shit journalist – Kirsty Wark – soft as Esler, badly briefed, doesn’t understand economics, slow brain speed, stupid accent

    Shit blogger – irrelevant

    Hoon Prix d’Shit – Ed Milliband – an evil dollop of bukkake dribbling (with added slime)

    Like

  43. 78
    Gordon Brown stole my pension says:

    S*it journalist of the year: Collectively, the Daily Telegraph’s team of witless, illiterate, inexperienced (and cheap) teenagers. Once a reasonable paper is now no better than the Mail, with a standard of English so low it is indistinguishable from that found on the dismal BBC News website.

    I think the award should be called The Bryony Gordon Award for Journalistic Irrelevance, in honour of the worst gobshite at the bottom of the Barclay Brothers’ barrel.

    Like

  44. 79
    Peter Grimes says:

    • Shit Politician of the Year – Brown for having donaldducked the UK economy over 12 years to the stage where we are probably now only 11th largest and have totally unsustainable debt levels.
    • Shit Journalist of the Year – Jointly to The White Queen/Pollytwaddle. Former for being a condescending, arrogant, criticism-stifling ZaNuLiebor stooge and the latter for being a vacuous, lying, stupid ZaNuLiebor stooge.
    • Shit Blogger of the Year – No contest! Step forward the one and only Dolly (Psycho) Draper.
    • Hoon Prix d’ Shit of the Year – Damian (The Omen) McBride for his disgusting smears of Tory politicians’ families.

    Like

    • 123
      Gordon Brown stole my pension says:

      That’s a good list, “concise excellence”, as my old English teacher would have said approvingly, but who’s Dolly Draper? I googled “dolly draper blog” and got lots of stuff about Derek Draper. Dolly’s not on the first three pages of results. Is Dolly really Derek?

      Like

      • 288
        Biffo says:

        Or vice versa a.k.a. Dolly Drooper (can’t think why).

        Like

      • 346
        Peter Grimes says:

        You can decipher ‘The White Queen’ & ‘Pollytwaddle’ but can’t link ‘Dolly’ & ‘Psycho’ with Derek Draper! Ye gods!!

        Oh, I see, McDoom stole your pension! You must be under 21 then, because your prospect of a pension is certainly donalducked!

        Like

  45. 83
    nonnynoo says:

    “It is for a T-shirt after all…”

    Ooh Ambassador, you’re spoiling us.

    Like

  46. 84
    Scorched Earth says:

    # Sh*t Politician of the Year = For services to the taxpayer exploding the expenses issue even more than anyone thought possible by being even more staggeringly out of touch than Anthony Steen and pretending expenses was some trifling matter that uppity journalists and busybody taxpayers should keep their noses out thus being the first speaker removed since ye olden days AND for being so blitheringly incompetent as to allow Inspector knacker to bust into the commons for no good reason – Michael Martin

    # Sh*t Journalist of the Year = The Sun for turning an endorsement and bereaved mother into an embarrassing exploitative car crash that somehow managed to get Brown sympathy from a hostile public

    # Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year = Tony Blair for jawdropping dishonesty and barefaced greed and cheek after trying to jump on the Euro Gravy train then charging hundreds of pounds to have your photo with a famous War Criminal and of course revealing he never did give a fuck about weapons of mass destruction because he always thinks he’s right and that’ all that matters thus telling Parliament and the public to piss off if they can’t take a joke

    # Sh*t Blogger of the Year = Nadine Dorries for managing to raise even Guido’s eyebrows as she went what could charitably be described as as ‘somewhat peculilar’ over the B.Bros while wallowing in ever more expenses dishonesty and trying to play the victim with her frankly barking ‘MPs on the verge of suicide’ foolishness

    Like

    • 119
      Hugh Janus says:

      I have to give way to SC – Gorbals Mick is definitely a leading contender for shit politico of the year – having the unique distinction of being the only Speaker to be kicked out in 300 years and rewarded with a peerage (and it had to be one of the NuLiebour tribe to boot).

      Trougher of the Year as well perhaps? He who spent shedloads of taxpayers’ cash trying to cover up the sewer that is the HofC now, as well as helping himself at the same time. Truly he is head and shoulders above the rest and a mention in dispatches is the very least he is entitled to.

      Like

    • 241

      We have a winner

      Like

  47. 85
    GUESS THE MISSING LETTER ??? says:

    Shit politician of the year goes to Bob Aintworth
    the guy is as much use as a man with no legs at an arse kicking contest !

    No pun intended lad’s !

    Shit jurno has to be Zoonie the Lazo
    or Andrew Marr as he likes to be known !

    Shit blogger has to be TaT
    (He says he’s setting up his own blogg) ha ha ha
    And C*nt/Hoon Has To Be McBust Who what ever he tuched turned to shit !

    Like

  48. 88
    The Oscars says:

    These awards should be called “The Oatens”.

    Like

  49. 93
    concrete pump says:

    Shit politician of the year has got to go to Jack Straw, the most feeble c*nt ever to enter parliament and a fucking muslim lickspittle.

    Shit journalist is Polly fucking Toynbee, simply cos she’s a deluded hypocrite.

    Shit blogger, oohhh…..Hundal or Macintyre……..Macintyre just scrapes it cos he’s been so utterly wrong for the past year, and he’s a c*nt.

    Massive c*nt of the year goes to Phil Jones, simple.

    No wit, just swearing……..That’ll do.

    Like

  50. 98
    draylon says:

    # Sh*t Politician of the Year – Mark Oaten, ‘cos he eats shit.
    # Sh*t Journalist of the Year – Toenails, ‘cos he lives in shit.
    # Sh*t Blogger of the Year – Sunny Hundal, ‘cos he’s just a shit.
    # Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year – Gordon Brown, ‘cos he’s all three, plus he’s a shit fucker.

    Like

  51. 99
    GUESS THE MISSING LETTER ??? says:

    Shit politician of the year goes to Bob Aintworth
    the guy is as much use as a man with no legs at an arse kicking contest !

    No pun intended lad’s !

    Shit jurno has to be Zoonie the Lazoon
    or Andrew Marr as he likes to be known !

    Shit blogger has to be TaT
    (He says he’s setting up his own blogg) ha ha ha
    And C*nt/Hoon Has To Be McBust Who what ever he tuched turned to shit !

    Like

  52. 102
    Bof says:

    Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year :
    Al Beeb for their incessant peddling of the socialist mantra,AGW,gays,feminists,muslims and anything that is anathema to the English way of life.

    Like

  53. 106
    Modworthy says:

    # Sh*t Politician of the Year = For services to the taxpayer exploding the expenses issue even more than anyone thought possible by being even more staggeringly out of touch than Anthony Steen pretending expenses was some trifling matter that uppity journalists and busybody taxpayers should keep their noses out thus being the first speaker removed since ye olden days AND for being so blitheringly incompetent as to allow Inspector knacker to bust into the commons for no good reason – Michael Martin

    # Sh*t Journalist of the Year = The Sun for turning an endorsement and bereaved mother into an embarrassing exploitative car crash that somehow managed to get Brown sympathy from a hostile public

    # Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year = Tony Blair for jawdropping dishonesty and barefaced greed and cheek after trying to jump on the Euro Gravy train then charging hundreds of pounds to have your photo with a famous WarCriminal and of course revealing he never did give a fuck about weapons of mass destruction because he always thinks he’s right and that’ all that matters thus telling Parliament and the public to piss off if they can’t take a joke

    # Sh*t Blogger of the Year = Nad*ne Dorr**s for managing to raise even Guido’s eyebrows as she went what could charitably be described as as ’somewhat peculilar’ over the BarBro.s while wallowing in ever more expenses dishonesty and trying to play the victim with her frankly barking ‘MPs on the verge of sucide’ foolishness

    Like

  54. 108
    Ratsniffer says:

    Shit Politico? That’s easy.

    He’s the man they all call Jonah
    A brooding, phone throwing loner
    Who sold our gold off cheap
    Robbed our pensions, what a creep.
    A PM no one voted for
    Democracy’s something he abhors
    On the Lisbon treaty denied us a vote
    On a pointless war, denied us hope.
    If he visits your firm, expect redundancy
    If he praises your team; demotion immediately!
    Expect tsunamis, earthquakes, hurricanes and plague
    If he visits your country, the situation is grave.
    He’s Jonah, the man with no luck…
    Will I vote for him and his party?
    Will I fuck!

    Like

  55. 112
    MiniTru says:

    Shit journalist of the year is Mark Mardell for “missing” Dan Hannan’s demolition of Brown.Mardell is a blogger as well,so give the creep a double.

    Like

  56. 113
    Dave"Decade of Austerity" Cameron says:

    I deserve a vote because of my crap jokes

    I was oven-cooking some chips yesterday and wasn’t sure if they were cooked so asked my wife how I could tell.

    She said: “Make sure the chips are brown-like”.

    I thought: ‘How can I tell if a chip is a Scottish Hunt?’

    Like

  57. 114
    Tweet_Tweet says:

    Crap Politician of the Year:

    Rubberface Obama – trying to be all thing to all people; done nothing whatsoever, except receive dubious award from the inventor of Dynamite (known health hazard).

    Like

  58. 115
    Henry Crun says:

    Shit Politician: Mark Oaten

    Shiite Blogger of the Year: American Muslim

    Hoon Prix d’Shit: the 30% that claim to still want to vote labour at the next election

    Like

  59. 128
    tory boys never grow up says:

    Guido – for so many reasons – but how about the hypocrisy of his last post on China given his previous support for the regime when visiting Hong Kong at the time that they were murdering a few Tibetans, of which he was blissfully unaware fro the obvious reasons http://order-order.com/2008/03/15/guido-is-in-hong-kong/

    Like

  60. 129
    rainbow says:

    I agree with others that there should be a vote for, ‘Shit poster of the year,’ but that tat should be excluded because he’d win hands down, and also the creepy fuck who posts on here about dead kids, because, well, he’s just sad.

    Like

  61. 130
    Astonished says:

    In a desperate bid for a T-shirt :

    Sh*t Scottish politician : Mr Elmer Gray leader of labour MSPs and the so-called Scottish labour. Who he ? You are all asking – which gives you a measure of his brilliance. Goodness even joke mcronnell is better known than elmer.

    Sh*t Scottish Journalist : (Renamed the glencampblly) This was very difficult as there is such a wide field to choose from……however just pipping Mr maddox of the hootsmon is Ms Catriona Renton . Ms Renton is an ex-labour councillor who is an “unbiased” BBC political journalist. Yeah that’s right she is a political journalist – her reporting has got to be seen to be believed.

    Sh*t Scottish blogger : Mr Murphy – labour’s governor general in Scotland. He had to remove a defammatory post from his blog. This was widely under-reported.

    Hoon prize sh*t of the year(UK wide) : Mr Darling : In the words of the famous song :- “Darling is a Charlie!a Charlie! a Charlie! “. A man so out of his depth that I was beginning to feel sorry for him….. then I heard about all that flipping. Again this was widely underreported.

    Do I win a prize ? Thought not.

    Like

  62. 131
    utterlypissedoff says:

    Blogger(s). Boatang & Demetriou for having their heads so far up their own arse’s that they have even put off boring bastards like me from reading them.

    Journalist(s). Has to be Jackie Ashley and Polly Tonybe for the never ending kiss of life into the glowing embers of Nulabour despite the Country’s demise.

    Politician(s). Very difficult to select one from such a putrid grasping incompetent lot, however the award of the biggest shittiest useless one must go to Gordon Brown for his atrocious managing of the economy, his hands on the tiller whilst we head down the steepest deepest rapids, his inability to get anything right. Let his epitaph read, ‘Here lies a man who put unborn babes into poverty, who destroyed the pension dreams of millions, and raped a Country’.

    Like

  63. 134
  64. 135

    Sh*t Politician:

    Gordon Brown.

    Witty reason:

    Shit is Brown and Brown is Shit.

    Like

  65. 136
    Ted Bundy says:

    I would like to nominate Richard Timney the man with the strongest right wrist in politics and undoubtedly the ugliest wife. In desperation he has (at public expense) been driven to pornography and excessive masturbation, a true wanker.

    Like

    • 312
      Biffo says:

      Let’s not forget that Mr Smith’s (to give him his correct name as PA to Ex-Second Home Secretary Jacky Spliff – ah, what a short & inglorious career she had – porn is all about gay sex & fit, hunky young men boffing each other, not the standard porn of nubile young ladies doing very unladylike things. Something you want to tell the tell the public, Jackboots? Share with your sympathisers? Your husband one of Mandy & Gordon’s friends (nudge, nudge, wink wink)?

      Like

    • 319

      Those folk singers, eh?

      Like

  66. 137
    Unsworth says:

    Y’know, Guido, at least half of your contributors seem to have only a 20 second span of attention. You’ve asked them make nominations and to give witty reasons for their nominations. Well, given the state of ‘Education’ these days, 50% is pretty fucking good going.

    As to actual nominations, the field is so large for all of these categories it’s virtually impossible to single out any individual nominees, let alone be witty about them. It’s all too depressing to think that these cretins constitute our Great and Good.

    Like

  67. 139
    DeepContempt says:

    Sh*t Politician of the Year: Ed Balls

    Politician with the ability most like his surname, and his surname most like his haircut.

    Like

  68. 142
    Lanky says:

    •Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year = Liam Donaldson – Chief Medical Officer

    Single handed he has raised the medical FEAR levels to new idiotic levels. Ignoring his false campaigns on alcohol, flu etc. He has denied treatment to certain genetic background individuals. Just because I have short legs, he classes me as obese. Creating a master race is the height of discrimination.

    (What do you think the flu scare, and central NHS database, is about? It is a way to get a list of all the fearful and easily manipulated, in this country)

    Like

  69. 144

    Sh*t Journalist:

    Jan Moir.

    Witty Reason:

    For her new novel: Gay Pride & Prejudice.

    http://fxbites.blogspot.com/2009/10/decent-journalism-rip.html

    Like

  70. 145
    Dave"Decade of Austerity" Cameron says:

    Last chance gag for a vote

    I had a dinner party last night, with Mr Cruise, Mr Van Dyke and Mr Redknapp.

    Well I wouldn’t have invited any Tom, Dick and Harry

    Like

  71. 146

    Sh*t Blogger:

    McBride/Draper.

    Witty Reason:

    All talk but couldn’t get it up.

    Like

  72. 158

    Hoon Prix d’Sh*t:

    Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab

    Witty Reason:

    Well his bomb was just pants, wasn’t it?

    Like

  73. 163
    Brown, White, Dorries and Mandy says:

    D’ye wish GB wouldn’t wait ’til May,
    D’ye wish GB would go today,
    D’ye wish GB would go far, far away,
    with your boot up his arse in the morning?

    Like

  74. 164

    Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year – Frank Field as his expenses claims turned out to be more deserving than his constituents. Exposed as just another power corrupted trougher – Mind you don’t trip over your halo Frank!

    Like

  75. 167
    Privy says:

    Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year = Christopher Graham – Information Commissioner

    ICO is the most pointless policing organization in this country. They seem to change laws without parliaments help. They go after only individuals, instead of the companies buying personal data. Now being run by an ex-BBC Journalist, that in his last job was responsible for the horrendous fall in advertising standards like the BBC license fear threats.

    (So a person with a track record of not controlling advertising and media is now in control of the only organization that could stop the Google etc. privacy invasion.)

    Like

  76. 169

    Sh*t Politician of the Year – Frank Field; I once believed you were the only honest man left in NuLabor. Now hand the fecking halo back and close the door after you!

    Like

  77. 177
    Alfred says:

    Hoon Prix d’Sh*t: Michael Jackson (and estate), for earnings beyond the grave. The only career option left open to the scrawny fiddler was to burn in hell. A ‘victim’ to the very end.

    Like

  78. 178
    SO17 says:

    Shit politician-David Cameron.He has sat with his thumb up his arse neither sorting out europhiles in his own party or being an effective opposition to this lunatic Government.

    Shit journalist-Kevin maguire.Knowingly lies to the great unwashed of which he pretends to be one.

    Shit blogger-Derek Draper.misunderstood the name of the game with ‘Labourlist’. He launched a ‘magpie’ into a ‘Blue Peter’ world.

    Hoon prix d shit-The BBC. A willing advocate for the two biggest scams to hit this country. Climate change and New Labour.

    Like

    • 203
      streamfisher says:

      Go along with the BBC for that prize and add to the list Iraq, Afghanistan, Jonathon Woss, a complete absence of any investigative journalism and a culture of troughing at the licence fee payers expense that rivals our right honourable members of Parliament. Hoons prix d shite D’Or

      Like

  79. 179

    Sh*t Journalist of the Year – Polly Toynbee; no matter how many times her forehead hits the walls of reality no sense is knocked into her champagne socialized brain.

    Like

  80. 180
    The Laird says:

    John Bercow – Sh*t Politician of the Year
    Mary Riddle – Sh*t Journalist of the Year
    Sunny Hundal – Sh*t Blogger of the Year
    Hazel Blears = Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year

    Gordon ought to collect all 4 (he sought of blogged on UTube), but he must have been voted Sh*t in 2008, 2007 … and like MATT you can’t win every year. Bercow has more slime on him than even Gordon could attract. Riddle is a prize New Labour plant at the Telegraph who Sh*ts on everyone’s breakfast. Sunny because he’s Sunny. Hazel (flipper and CG avoider) who gets the Prix for pretending she can pull the wool over the eyes of Salford. She epitomises New Labour. Hope I not taking this too seriously!

    Like

    • 215
      Seasick Dave says:

      Riddell isn’t a journalist – she’s a propagandist, pure and simple.

      Like

      • 261
        The Laird says:

        Seasick Dave

        Yes you’re right. Each week she trots out the same fatuous argument for keeping Brown and New Labour in power, quoting ministers, mysterious “sources” (read Lord Mandy). Her spin is endless and commentators on her articles are indeed sick of her and cannot understand why the DT gives her any space at all. The DT deserves sh*t paper of the year (except for MATT) but Guido hasn’t asked for that (yet!).

        Like

  81. 181
    Fluffy Thoughts says:

    Shyte journalist of the year: James MacIntyre.

    Got all mouthy when Labour internal polls alledgedy showed that Labour would be leading in the polls, and was willing to take bets. Then sh@t himself when PoliticalBetting’s Morus offered to place a five-figure sum against Master MacIntyre’s hypothesis.

    James MacIntyre = :lol:

    Like

    • 190
      I shat myself laughing at this one says:

      I remember that one now you mention it, hilarity did ensue, very good choice sir!

      Like

  82. 184
    Mr Dale's Diary says:

    I was hoping Iain Dale, or is it Dale Winton, could for once be listless. His interminable lists are so boring – and it’s lazy blogging – I long gave up with his site.

    Like

  83. 186
    DelBoy says:

    Shit Politician = a tie between Bruin and Call me Dave
    (A special honour prize for Bliar as the former leader not yet hanged with
    Dub Ya, Cheney and Rumsfelt. There’s still loads of time)
    Shit Journo = All embedded tossers with US and UK troops.
    Shit Blogger= Tat (who he?)
    Hoon Prix = Balls

    A plea from the floor – please redact/get rid of the Dead Baby blogger.

    Like

  84. 191
    Steve Expat says:

    I jointly nominate Derek “Berkley” Draper and Damian “Mad Dog” McBride as undisputed sh*ts of the year, for services to the unsubstantiated smearing of innocent Tories with public money – did they seriously think that they would get away with it?

    Like

  85. 194
    Dave is the Sh*tiest of them ALL says:

    Sh*t Politician of the Year = Dave Cameron who failed to score every open goal that Gordon laid before him.

    Sh*t Journalist of the Year = Dave Cameron for jacking in his job at Carlton Communications and infiltrating the Tory party.

    Sh*t Blogger of the Year = WebCameron, nuff said.

    Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year = David Cameron for breaking his Cast Iron Guarantee of holding a European referendum and for jumping on the corrupt man made global warming bandwagon.

    Like

  86. 195
    Greychatter says:

    Wonder if this loop hole will be or is being used by Gordon’s and his socialist associates to hid their fortunes?

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2009/dec/17/mystery-tony-blairs-money-solved

    Like

  87. 200
    Smug Druggler says:

    Where to start – so many Mc2@s, too little time.

    Like

  88. 202
    Annies Bar says:

    sorry chaps it can’t be Brown as just saying he’s shit (and saying it the first few dozen times did rather force Guido’s hand) won’t cut it as he had a comeback from polling far worse than this
    not forgetting that if he’s shit then what does that make Mr Cameron for failing to capitalise on the abysmal levels of shittery you all speak of so eloquently ?
    crap yes, shit if you like despite the lack of wit, but hardly the worst politician in a parliament full of craptastic fodder
    Brown held off plotters so useless they shot their collective wad and shot themselves in the foot at the same time
    the likes of James Purnell could win for misjudging his supposed chum Milliband or Miliband could win it for losing his bottle and being bounced into a back me or I’ll sack you Brown moment
    Darling continued to be used and abused by Brown showing all the backbone of a grey shapeless blob that bores anyone to death within earshot
    However the Chipmunk Blears came out of the coup that wasn’t very badly indeed with groveling apologies and huge loss of face all round
    postman Johnson, once the heir apparent now just another name in a leadership contest continues to sink as he wonders what could have been
    man of many pies prescott wallowed in his strange state of celebrity fat comedy figure of fun/pity

    But what of the Conservatives ?
    Oiky Gove put his foot in it more than once and caused pain to Dave’s ever growing furrowed brow as did eccentric Hannan for his NHS off piste gift to Labour and sheepish retreat to the Euro backbenches a beaten man in the Referendum debate
    moat-twat and Duckhouse could win it for being the poster boys for the expense scandal

    Clegg was as forgettable as ever but he did at least claim the scalp of the Ex-Speaker by calling for his removal while Dave was still in a tizzy about it

    Dick Sniffin’s skincrawling TV slimeathon was not unexpected so no prize there

    Harperson desrves a mention as her shrewish exterior mask shattered with her husbands pornographic opprobrium to reveal a hypocritical careerist shrew underneath, surprising no-one

    in a parliament of blind men the one eyed man is still king I’m afraid
    to be truly the worst politician he would have been ousted as PM
    yet there he sits glowering but handed the possibility of a hung parliament lifeline by an opposition who fail to oppose with any great conviction or force, the leader of a Labour Party he still manages bully into backing him

    every man jack of them in the House of Commons deserves to win collectively after this year of piggery and shame if we are being honest about it

    Like

    • 212
      Dave is the Sh*tiest of them ALL says:

      Exactly…Dave is the Top Shit of the year. I had to laugh when he tried to claim that it was he who had helped the Ghurkas and Clegg much to his credit let Dave have some of the glory (It did make Dave look daft though)

      Like

    • 267
      The Laird says:

      I’d count the number of words over 30 for you here Guido, but I can’t figure out how to do it in the the Office Word 2007 sh*t interface

      Like

  89. 204
    James says:

    Shit politician of the year: Gordon Brown. Predictable, but here’s why.

    There once was a PM called Brown
    Who’s stock in the main went down
    He started class war
    the electorate did bore
    and finished as national clown

    Like

  90. 205
    Not Now Cato says:

    Hoon Prix d’Sh*t:

    It was 20 years ago…

    “We end this year and indeed this decade
    with the worst deficit in our history,
    the worst deficit in Europe,
    simply as a result of measures taken by this government.”

    Gordon Brown, 29 December 1989

    I nominate Brown … for every single thing he says and does.

    All he touches turns to sh*t, from the simply laughable, like leading Gore into a broom cupboard, to the tragic such as under-supplying our troops in Afghanistan.

    Like

  91. 206
    Engineer says:

    Sh*t Politician of the Year – Sion Simon for pathetic attempt to satirise Cameron, and even more pathetic attempts to justify it. (Leave comedy to the comedians, Sion. Come to that – leave politics to politicians.)

    Sh*t Journalist of the Year – Polly Toynbee, for writing ‘Brown’s Last Chance’ once a fortnight for most of the year.

    Sh*t Blogger of the Year – Derek Draper, for getting thrown off his own blog almost before it got started.

    Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year – Professor Phil Jones for services to scientific despotism.

    Like

  92. 209
    cant hunter says:

    Hoon prix d’ sh*t of the year. Can I please nominate a non politician, even a non journalist ,but someone who is greedier than your average sloughing MP, who is vainer and more full of himself than the most strident scribbler . Ladies and gentlemen I give you Simon Cowell; a man who has made himself wealthy beyond our dreams and his talent, wealth that has been ‘earned’ thru. peddling shit, albeit occasionally perfumed. He has deluded countless talentless nobodies into believing they could be somebody, has screwed the winners of his worthless talent shows by restricting them to contracts that serve only himself, while burning them out and then disposing of them in a few months. Furthermore he has helped reduce the british pop market to one characterised by standardised,sugared , parasitical tat. His moronic shallow comments on the ‘artistes’ are treated with awe struck reverence by those within his credulous orbit and his vanity out Blairs Blair.

    Like

  93. 211
    backwoodsman says:

    Hold the front page ! Late runner comming up fast on the rails… Somebody called lord adonis, on the R2 news, has just announced that there will be a new railway line, running from London to the Midlands and on up to Scotland. So far so good. But wait for it, this will be a railway ‘for the many, not for the few.’ A peoples railway, no less.
    For fucks sake, unless it runs directly from Whites club, to the Royal enclosure at Ascot, its unlikely to be anything else. If this is going to be labours answer to everything over the next few months , it could be a very trying period for normal people.

    Like

  94. 216
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Shit Politician of the Year: It has to be Osborne for services to slack-jawed twerpery of the first order. He makes even Alec Douglas-Home look, in retrospect, like a first-class brain. If Cameron appoints him Chancellor you can kiss goodbye to any coherence in Tory policies.

    Like

    • 243
      swing seat says:

      Osbo’s unsackable now though
      Cameron’s bet the farm on him by backing him to the hilt no matter what

      so it would have to be something truly shocking to stop him from being Chancellor now, and as more than one Conservative MP has wondered, why?
      why is Osbos the one indispensible man in the Cabinet?
      being Daves best friend isn’t quite enough to explain it

      with the nations finances being what they are the relationship between Cam and Osbo will become as pivotal as Blair and Brown’s
      the corpulent grinning figure of Ken Clarke will loom over Osbo drooling in a manner not unlike Portillo behind Major
      interesting times ahead

      Like

  95. 220
    Old Nick Heavenly(real dimwit) says:

    Gordoom, the man who put the rude back into Prudence and made me feel very, very proud to live in Belgium.

    Like

    • 247
      CALL ME DAVE (Giz A Job) CAMERON says:

      he’s made us all feel proud to live in belgium since he gave our country to brussels

      Like

  96. 222
    The Fallen Angel says:

    Sh*t Politician of the Year:

    Jonah Brown- Everything he touches or sees (in his one good eye!) turns to sh*t…!

    Sh*t Journalist of the Year:

    Polly Toynbee- Surely the name is enough….?

    Sh*t Blogger of the Year:

    Draper/McBride- For even considering that a slur ridden blog would help propel Jonah back to the top of British politics…and the laughs we had as Guido brought them down!!!

    Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year:

    John Bercow- For honestly believing that after the General Election he will still have a job and not have to go to the Chiltern Hundreds….

    Like

    • 332
      Dick Scratcher says:

      The Chiltern Hundreds is exactly the sort of bollocks that needs ripping out of Britain. Fuck tradition, let’s stop playing games & start competing with the rest of the world.

      Like

    • 355
      Rufus Stone says:

      Have you ever considered how Polly got her ridiculous surname? It is a result of wanting the nom de plume TonyB, whom she was/is in awe with. Of course, due to her joining the Gurning (the most pointless leftie rag in all Christendom) her name was mis-spelt as Toynbee.

      Like

  97. 224
    Fuck Islam says:

    Shit people of the year – jocks
    Shit politicians of the year – the jock ones with mong faces and one eye
    Shit journalists – the ones that enjoy toilet sex with other men
    Shit news outlet – the drug taking rent boy using twats at the BBC.

    Like

  98. 226
    BillyBob ... reduce crime, national debt and carbon footprint, stop immigration? Every little helps! says:

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/dec/30/akmal-shaikh-execution-relatives-letter
    I would nominate these cousins of the executed criminal, for being so ungrateful for everything we did for them then playing the race / religion card.
    No way will I offer to help them again….

    Like

    • 248
      BillyBob ... reduce crime, national debt and carbon footprint, stop immigration? Every little helps! says:

      they, the cousins • Condemn the government’s approach to the Chinese. “Did the British government pull out its diplomats in protest? Did it have a hard-hitting strategy to persuade the Chinese authorities to change their decision?”

      hmmmm well actually this person is not from the UK and really the family have to realise that the majority of us praised the decision of the Chinese !

      Like

  99. 228
    PM says:

    Brown’s warning voters not to vote Tory and “wreck the recovery”. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8434137.stm

    Er, what f**king recovery is this exactly?

    Like

  100. 229
    George of Formby, Lancs says:

    Turned out nice again!

    Like

  101. 231
    Brown's Kiddy-Fiddler Smile says:

    Sh*t Of The Year:

    Speaker Martin:

    Buck passing,spineless,partial,lacking intelligence,pompous,scheming.

    Like

  102. 232
    Very_Zen says:

    Mrs Dale for being the way he is.

    Like

  103. 234
    alex taylor says:

    shit polititian…. nobody comes close to Fck’Broon he can’t even stop himself asking for clemency for a drug smuggleing pakistani citizen…sorry british resident …sorry american resident … sorry british resident… sorry polish resident, when he knows full well that all he turns his hand to fuck’s up, as soon as he even thought about asking the chinese , the heroin smugglers fate was sealed…. mmmm maybe that was not so bad after all , so to all drug smugglers the best way to europe is through …….. CHINA!!!!!

    Like

  104. 240
    CALL ME DAVE (Giz A Job) CAMERON says:

    The useless no policies Mr Cameron
    Will need employment come the election Along with his sparing partner Mr McBust
    I Think UKIP and the minor unmentionable parties will do very well
    due to the expeneses scam and the cast iron guarantee/lisbon farce !

    Like

    • 250
      BillyBob ... reduce crime, national debt and carbon footprint, stop immigration? Every little helps! says:

      Farage will do well but the rest of you have lost your deposit…. hehehehehehehe

      Like

  105. 244
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    For the turd year runnings poliitian of the year

    Mark Oaten

    Like

  106. 246
    Vote UKIP and become a Free Sovereign Nation says:

    NO Way can Gordon be the Sh*t MP of the year. He may be a total Chump but he has to be given 10 out of 10 for survival and at the rate he is going he may just beat the two political lightweights Dave and George. The man behind Gordon’s turnaround Peter Mandelson desrves credit too.

    Like

    • 255
      JOHNNY'S "Y" FRONT THUNDERPANTS says:

      If That C*NT McBust wins the election I’ll be packing my “Y “fronts with some very unsavory items And getting him to pull my finger !

      Like

      • 264
        Vote UKIP and become a Free Sovereign Nation says:

        On the first 4 things that matter like Europe, Green taxes, Education and NHS you can’t put a fag paper between New Con and New Lab. On number 5, the economy, Dave is promising pain and hardship and Gordon is promising sweet smelling recovery. So Who is Gonna win the election?

        Like

        • 424
          broken Britain says:

          like the pain from being trapped on an active volcano with bear grylls and have aggressive constipation and being told to use dried up lava for toilet paper?

          Or

          like the pain from being trapped on an active volcano with bear grylls and have aggressive constipation and being told to use dried up lava for toilet paper, whilst taking copious amounts of LSD and magic mushrooms?

          hmmm

          Like

  107. 251
    Mark Oaten says:

    Thanks Beast
    I came into politics to confound those who use that old saying
    “you cant polish off a turd”

    Like

  108. 253
    Porky Pies MP says:

    We must vote next time for Mr Brown and New Labour. He has just said that he intends continuing with the recovery (now don’t say what recovery) and he can do it without any hardship to anybody at all. If the Tories are voted in they might bring austerity to the country. I think Mr Brown is the perfect man – he can get the country out of immense debt (biggest since records began) just by saying so. No austerity, no savings, no cuts, nothing – just a big smile from Mr Brown and the massive debt will all go away.

    So there you have it: we can all be happy and as reckless as we like because there are no penalties to pay whatsoever. What a brilliant country and a lovely government.

    Like

  109. 258
    Wood Chopper says:

    Our very own “Saviour of the world”

    He Planned, he Queued, he Squandered

    Like

  110. 262
    Nu Labourspeak says:

    prosperity = austerity

    Like

  111. 270
    AJC says:

    My nomination for “Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year” is Professor Phil Jones Director of the Climatic Research Unit (CRU) University of East Anglia for services to Education and Climate Change.

    Like

  112. 274

    Shit Politician of the year.

    Its me.
    Lowest attendance in parliament. Most redacted expenses. Highest number of family members employed, lowest number of surgeries.
    Highest number of quango chairmanships and lowest number of voters letters answered.

    There is no one else who costs you so much and gives you so little.
    With the possible exception of John Prescott.

    Like

  113. 276
    Bill Murphy says:

    Guido, re: your update. As long ago as 1982 (makes me sound Australian) Punch ran a caption competition for students. Months later when the result was announced, Alan Coren ran an editorial alongside saying the results demonstrated that university wit could be declared dead. What hope do you have now?

    Like

  114. 278
    The nearly Man says:

    Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year = David Cameron.

    The year started full of hope with Labour way behind in the Polls, Gordon about to be overthrown and a vote on Europe only an election away. And just 12 months later all hope has gone.

    Like

  115. 280
    solopolis says:

    Shit Politician of the Year 2009.

    In Memoriam May 2010.

    There once was a politic Brown,
    He acted and danced like a clown,
    Fawkes got a hit,
    The blogs voted him shit,
    and Guy took the old bastard down.

    Like

  116. 282
    Steve Expat says:

    Margaret Moron for Shit Politician of the year – for failing to realise that a house in Southampton was not reasonable to claim for when you live in London and Luton.

    Like

  117. 284
    Steve Expat says:

    Elliot Morley for Shit Politician of the year, for being the only person in history to have it pass him by that he had paid off his mortgage (except for David Chaytor, maybe this could be a joint award)!

    Like

  118. 285
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    shit american politician of the year
    OBAMA
    For hiding in a kitchen as he lacked the courage to meet the man who wrote THE book on that subject and saved the world .

    Obama said that meeting Wacko Jocko was like spending a wet sunday afternoon in an Aberdeen B&B with no TV and listening to the clock tick as the smell of boiled cabbage wafted up his nostrils

    Like

  119. 286
    d.mitchell says:

    Sh*t Politician of the Year
    The monkey that unrinated on the Zambian President Rupiah Banda

    Sh*t Journalist of the Year
    Sion Simon for everything he has done from the Spoof Cameron web log to trying to make good the scandle of his expenses. All backfiring on him.

    Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year
    BLAIR – For getting out just as the date of expenses would come into force – subsequentially making massive amounts of money while possibly not paying the full amount of Tax he has saddled the rest of the country with. AND for whatever he is going to say to the Iraq enquiry (which will be a total lie, but he as ever will get away with- because the committee do not have the skill to pin him down)

    Like

  120. 291

    Shit politician of the year has to be Gordon Brown.

    Why?

    Because Gordon Brown is just Tony Blair’s “follow through”

    Like

  121. 292

    Queen’s alternative New Years honours list.

    Banishment for Hazel Blears,Phil Jones, Derek Draper, Phil Woolas

    20 years in the Tower for: – Damien McBride,Fred Goodwin,Sir Callum McCarthy, Alistair Darling.

    Pressed inside a flat 2-d crystal and blasted into outer space for:
    Gordon Brown, Ed Balls, Harriet Harman.

    Like

  122. 295
    Sir Arthur Strebe-Grebling says:

    Sh*t Jounalist of the year:

    I’m tempted to say “any lobby journalist” or if I need to choose: Nick Robinson

    But the prize has to go to Robert Peston, who’s “scoops” and announcements serve only to further his career and in doing so, breaches trust and on one memorable occasion, affected house prices. Perfect New-Labour behaviour.

    Robert Peston anagrams:
    “Be Reports Not” (please)
    “Robot Serpent”
    “Probes Rotten”
    “Boner Test Pro” (wouldn’t surprise me)

    Like

  123. 298
    EyeSee says:

    Polly: Ed Balls. His initiatives make him a bumper car with headlight eyes
    Journo: Polly Queenbee. Acts like an upper class twit whilst decrying upper class twits
    Blogga: Derekus Draperio. Unoriginal and must be shit as he attracts disease ridden flies (McBride…)
    Hooner: R Pachauri. The railway engineer laying tracks for our disaster and his own enrichment. I’ve given a polar bear £3 to ‘adopt’ him.

    Like

  124. 304
    Floating Turkey says:

    Shit politician. Cameron for giving Brown credibility.
    Shit hack. All of ‘em for giving Brown credibility.
    Shit blog. Most of ‘em for refusing to spot the elephant in the room.
    Uber Prix. Anybody that voted for Blair and any that think things can only get better with Dave.

    Like

  125. 306
    DDQ says:

    sh*t blogger of the year:

    Damian Thompson (Telegraph)

    for wrecking one of the best and most open blog sites and turning it into a home for Catholic nut-jobs.

    Like

  126. 311
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Tories’ £1million taxpayer-funded prize for voters with ‘wisdom’.

    I thought this was it?

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1239372/Tories-1million-taxpayer-funded-prize-voters-wisdom.html

    Like

  127. 313
    Dr Derek Draper MD says:

    I would like to nominate Damian McBride for inciting me to send all those nasty emails completely against my better judgement. He completely stitched me up with the promise of a distinguished political career and a safe seat at the next General Election. How the hell was I to know that the man was a total cad and scoundrel? This nasty episode has totally destroyed my self confidence I feel so cheap and used.

    Like

    • 314
      McBride says:

      You ARE cheap and used.

      Like

      • 335
        Dobby says:

        This Derek Draper? Prize fusking chump Derek Draper other half of Kate (who?) Garraway. Yep my vote too.

        In his political career, Derek worked for Peter Mandelson for four years during the mid-1990s, and founded Progress Magazine in 1996, which was instrumental in the development of New Labour and which is still going strong today. In 1997, he published the book Blair’s First 100 Days.

        Derek is also a writer and psychotherapist. He was a former regular on ITV1’s Kyle’s Academy and featured on an ITV Tonight Special on phobias in November 2008. In 2007, he was awarded Journalist of the Year by the Mental Health Charity MIND, and wrote the chapter on mental health in the 2006 book The Future of the NHS which you can download here. His new book, Life Support: A Survival Guide For The Modern Soul, was published in April 2009 by Hay House.

        Derek is married to Kate Garraway, the GMTV presenter, and has a wonderful 3-year-old daughter, Darcey and new son Billy.

        Like

  128. 316
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Bell end of the year
    Quentin Davies

    A towering bell end by any estimation ( 20k to you squire)

    Like

  129. 318
    Tiger Woods, Lewis Hamilton, Serena Williams says:

    What do we have to do to get a mention? Aiiiight.

    Like

  130. 320
    DisgustedOfMitcham2 says:

    Shit MP of the year:

    Harriet Harman, for showing that despite all her protestations of global domination for women, they still can’t park the car.

    Like

  131. 326
    lloyd says:

    Now let’s get serious, I want that T-shirt:
    Unfortunately, I do not know the name of the sh*t I want to nominate. He is the BBB who sent the expenses data sheet to the Telboy. If I knew his name I would give him a good thrashing. This grand sh*t took away my trough and left me to live on my measily wages as a MP and consultant to my pal Gordon’s quangos.
    The new black shirt will come in handy to wipe the mud off the wellies after visiting my duck pond.

    Like

  132. 329
    barefootcontessa says:

    Too many shits to chose from.

    Like

  133. 330
    genghiz the kahn says:

    The Shit of The Year has to be none other than James Gordon Brown, a man who has single handedly destroyed his credibility, economic growth in the UK, and is leading his party to destruction.

    A coward who is content to hide behind briefings, unattributed leaks, and a creature who sees that smearing his opponets, rivals and innocent third parties is all above board. When the going gets tough, this tough gets going in the general direction of a school, to lurk behind children whilst condeming the press to silence.

    His celebrated moral compass allows him to retain the services of an Attorney General who breaks her own laws, a Chancellor who has taken steps to avoid the very taxes he levies.

    In short he is a festeing sore on the body politic.

    On the other hand I noninate David Cameron will be The 2010 Shit of The Year if he doesn’t manage to consign Brown to a well earned defeat.

    Like

  134. 339
    barefootcontessa says:

    T shirt’s not worth the bother. Too many shits about to name just one.

    Like

  135. 347
    bandersnatch says:

    Shit Journalist of the Year:

    to Jason Cowley for turning the ‘New Statesman’ into a down-market, weekend supplement of a mag, attractive only to someone with a two-digit IQ, and the attention span of a gnat; well fit for the award it received from the editors of ‘Cage Bird Weekly’, ‘How to Maintain Your 1,000cc Motorbike’, ‘Fiesta’ et al…

    Like

    • 349
      bandersnatch says:

      Sorry… bandersnatch didn’t take in the less than 30 words bit. Shall redo that.
      New year resolution… cut the cackle!

      Like

    • 361
      bandersnatch says:

      SHIT JOURNALIST OF THE YEAR GOES TO:

      Jason Cowley for reconfiguring the ‘New Statesman’ picture supplement-style, for readers with two-digit IQs and gnat-sized attention spans; well-fit for its award from editors of ‘Cage Bird Weekly’, ‘Fiesta’ etc

      Like

  136. 348
    Alcuin says:

    Ed Balls for Blackberrying in meetings, for which he is often late.
    Seamus Milne for being a brainless Trot
    Sunny Hundal for being a sanctimonious prig

    Like

  137. 353
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Shit of the Year (Female)

    Catherine Ashton for services to contested democratic elections.

    Runners up.
    Patricia Scotland for services own goals on law breaking/law making and misreading the small print.

    Hazel Blears for cheque writing.

    BBC Political Staff for deliberately misunderstanding the significance of the difference between Treasury Ministers’ excessive expense claims and MPs fiddles.

    University of East Anglia for unquestioning support for the Climate Change Charlatans.

    Like

  138. 356
    I Squiggle says:

    Sh*t Politician of the Year – Bob Ainsworth. He looks like a jumped up corporal, except he doesn’t even have that level of military acumen. It is some measure of the high esteem that Gordon Brown attaches to the well being of our military, engaged in the bloodiest conflict since Korea, that this hopeless nonentity is promoted as the minister in charge. He should be made to be in attendance as every body of a repatriated soldier arrives back in the UK. And the fact that he needs to be made to do it, rather than consider it his duty, tells a lot. No, not a single witticism in that, and quite right too.

    Sh*t Journalist of the Year – Polly Toynbee. After a hatchet job she did in an article she wrote in 1979 (yep, about the lives of families of soldiers in a Regiment stationed in Germany), I’ve never trusted the shifty, mendacious prig. So she gets my award this year, as she has done for the last 30.

    Sh*t Blogger of the Year – Given I wouldn’t normally waste my time heading towards anything that I would consider falling into this category, it’s a tough one? So I’m going to guess, based on stumbling across their blog by accident: Sunny Hundal

    Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year – Guido, this is not even a contest: Gordon ‘I saved the world/wanna buy some cheap gold/I’ll define who is a hard working family/I never knew what Blair was up to’ Brown

    Like

  139. 358
    macaroon says:

    S Journalist of the year goes to Andy flappy ears Marr who continues to speak with forked tongue about Dave from the towering heights of a Loretto Head of House

    Like

    • 389
      genghiz the kahn says:

      Doesn’t he also marred his reputation through the misuse of super injunctions to cover up his over active glands?

      Like

  140. 363
    If in doubt make a list says:

    Shit Politician of the Year, nay of the Century, or even of all time, is the………

    Snot Gobbler,
    Brewn the Doom,
    Gurning Gordon,
    The Boom & Bust Bastard,
    Mandy’s Arse Polisher,
    Pension Pisser Upper,
    Gormless Gold Giver.
    The Glorious Leader of the Anti British Party.
    The Saveloy of the World,
    Nine Grand Cleaner Nonce,
    Expense Excuser Commander in Chief
    Barry’s Arse Licker.
    Clown Brown,
    Printer of Pounds not Policies.
    Unelected Moron.
    Coward of Afghanistan
    Joker who says “don’t vote Tory and f… up the economy“.
    Al Gore’s little cupboard friend.
    John Bull of Quantative Easing.
    Prime Mentalist in charge but it’s all the Tory’s fault for doing nothing.
    Back stabber who said “it started in America “.

    And on and on and on ~~~

    Like

  141. 364
    Roffey says:

    Sh*t Politician of the Year – Gordon Brown, the Great Helmsman who lacked the Nelson Touch. In 2010 a TV career beckons, starring in Lost in Space.

    Like

  142. 366
    grobdj says:

    Shi*t politician of 2009 has to be the guy who came back from Brussels to rescue Brown’s sagging fortunes, and manage his public relations. He was rewarded with a glittering array of useful new titles, and became his unelected deputy. Whilst everyone else in the Labour party has kept a decent barge-pole distance from McDoom, this man has stuck to the task, always believing that there can be a third time lucky. Despite being a legend in his own mind, he continues to achieve nothing he sets out to do.

    I give you Peter Mandelson: the sh*ttest prime minister Britain never had.

    Like

  143. 368
    stilyagi_air_corps says:

    Would you like some more salt and vinegar on your deltoids, Sir?

    Like

  144. 373
    Craig says:

    Harriet Harman for her very, very off-handed “I’m HH, you know where you can find me” response to an RTA

    Like

  145. 378
    Anonymous says:

    Anyone who gave a wothless “CAST IRON” pledge.

    Like

  146. 379
    Who's the boss? says:

    Sh*t Politician of the Year is easy, it’s Gordon Brown. He believes in everything he says, and everybody else is wrong. there’s just one way, the Brown way, any opposition to him is crushed. Look at how pathetic Alistair Darling was in his December 2009 PBR.

    So many clips to chose from, but this most recent one sums it up. Whatever it was, it started in America don’t you know!!!

    Shafted savers

    Spend to scorch earth economy against Tories election win

    UK’s gold reserves bought worthless bits of Euro paper

    New Labour scr*wed private pension funds

    Sh*t Journalist of the Year, easily Nick Robinson. A man who has his tongue superglued firmly to Gordon Browns backside.

    Sh*t Blogger of the Year, with John ‘Two Jags and a pie’ Prescott in the running. But Derek Draper wins, and I give you this video as evidence.

    Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year is too damn difficult, but I pick Jacqui Smith. Alas there is just too many crimes she committed on the British people to sum it up with one clip, but I pick this one.

    Thank you Guido, should I win, a lunch date with Emily Nomates will do as an alternate prize.

    Like

    • 390
      Peter Grimes says:

      Much applause for the effort!

      I’ve got no chance of winning but I’d love to join you if you win on a proper old-style City lunch with Emily Nomates and try to cure her of her quite delightful minor speech impediment in the time-honoured way!

      Like

    • 394
      Sarah S says:

      Jacqui Jacqui
      Jacqui Smith
      Jacqboot Jacqui
      She got away with it

      Like

    • 409
      Ray Stybrow says:

      He’s the boss. Give that c’unt the T shirt. He’s fucking nailed it.
      Even if he doesn’t get to nail Emily.

      Like

  147. 381
    steve says:

    Has to be Jaqui Smith – according to the account was subjected to blue movies
    but she apologises for not ‘being all there!’ Just what happens when you are flipping awful at being ‘a sister’ – they say blue nun is back in fashion!

    Like

  148. 384

    Leave Keith Vaz alone, the guy is having a bad week.

    Indian Men Survey

    Like

  149. 386
    DrKillJoy says:

    Whatever drugs you are on, I hope the initial high was worth the mental breakdown.

    Like

  150. 388
    James D says:

    Shit politician of the year: Alan Johnson, for writing to the Home Secretary pleading for an immigrant, becoming Home Secretary, and deporting said immigrant.

    Shit journalist of the year: that homophobic woman at the Daily Mail. Or maybe everyone at the Daily Mail as a generally shit newspaper.

    Shit blogger of the year: Sunny Hundal, O may I count the ways!

    Hoon Prix de Shit of the year: Geoff Hoon, because it’s his name and I can’t be bothered to think of anything more original.

    Like

  151. 392
    shergar says:

    All categories except politician…Kevin Maguire, who spent the entire year licking the cheese off Gordon’s Brown’s wrinkly sack.
    Politican: Gordon Brown, whose sack was regularly tongue-hoovered by the shame of British journalism, Kevin Maguire.

    Like

  152. 393
    christy says:

    OT.
    Read in the Daily Mail today,a readers letter sent in by a chap in London,bloody hillarious.
    He heads it with It Had To Happen,turns out that a man who had got one of Liebours new ID cards was travelling to Europe and when he produced his ID card he was told it was no good and he should go home and bring his passport.
    You f—–g couldt make it up,wonder what Postman Pat will make of this one.
    Correct me if I’m wrong but my understanding was that with this ID card you would be able to travel anywere in Europe.

    Like

    • 399
      grobdj says:

      There was another story recently about Ryanair refusing to accept Italian hunting and fishing licences as ID for internal flights

      How hard can it be to obtain an Italian fishing licence?

      Like

  153. 396
    Pamplemousse says:

    Sh*t Politician of the Year – Gordon (I’m the son of the manse) Brown.

    Sh*t Journalist of the Year – James (We are not biased) Naughtie.

    Sh*t Blogger of the Year – Don’t know, I only read Guidos…. (Mwah, Mwah).

    Hoon Prix d’Sh*t of the Year – Ed (We don’t need no educashun) Balls.

    Like

  154. 397
    Anonymous says:

    Osborne for shit politician in honour of his favourite saying “Great shit you got Davy”.

    Like

  155. 398
    troglodyte says:

    Sh*t of the year- Anthony Blair for services to himself , his wallet and presumably his wife. A woman who deserves the name Averice. For his services to the political class who have unerringly follwed his shining example.

    Like

  156. 400
    christopher says:

    Politician – as always, Sion Simon
    Journalist – Leo Mcilstry
    Blogger – Derek Draper
    Hoon – Harriet Harman

    Like

  157. 402
    stevie says:

    Obama – for winning a nobel peace prize for………. Ive no idea.

    Like

  158. 412
    Grex says:

    Shitpol: Dennis McShane.
    For shamelessly defending the government line regardless of which gob gave the orders. Segued from Blairbitch to Brownbabe in a manner that would make a greased eel blush. Has been a minister, has seen the dirty sheets. No excuse.

    Shithack: Toelets. An chamaeleon of Toenails and Toilets. Robinson and Maguire know the utter cack that these people are either ignore it through editorial policy (Toenails) or through one eyed loyalty (Toilets). Neither blew the lid on exes so out on them.

    Shitblog: Socialist Unity. Predictable, shouty and STOP IT WITH THE FUCKING CAPS ALREADY IT DOES NOT MAKE THE SHITE YOU WRITE MORE COGENT, IMPORTANT OR READABLE. Oh, and Stalin was a cock and Communism a crock. Get with history.

    Shit of the Year: Herman de Rompuy. He didn’t have to. He could;ve emailed any of DK and Guido and said, ‘I’ve been elected President, wot shoud I say?’ But he didn’t. Ergo, shit of the year for not, like a cheap bitch, saying no.

    Like

  159. 413
    Ray Stybrow says:

    Shit politician. Cameron, for selling the nations cast iron.
    Shit journo. Michael White for the ability to fart from two orifice’s at once.
    Shit blog. You, c’unt. For being king of bloggers and only giving away a poxy fucking shirt.

    Prick Hoon. Me. For coming back to take more abuse, and for missing the cut off point.

    Like

  160. 414
    jorb says:

    Answers are simple
    1. Gordon Brown – for being the sad, useless Hunt that we all really knew he could be. Narrowly out-tops Tony Blair for being the most opportunistic. At least Tony Blair has some talent. Unfortunately its the same talent that Hitler, Stalin and Marx had, but at least its talent.
    2. There’s such a wide selection in the MSM, but for overall unwillingness to deal with reality, for rabid pursuit of an agenda despite the reality clubbing you over the head, there really can only be one candidate. Polly Toynbee
    3. Shit blogger of the year – None of the CRU guys seem to run a blog, so it would have to go to their best apologists, realclimate. For doing their best to set the entire human race back a century to push their personal agenda.
    4. Shit of the year. Unfortunately we’re a bit spoilt for choice.
    Should we choose Gordon for repeatedly making a sad Hunt of himself. Should we choose Tony Blair. He’s fucked up a country and has moved on to try and fuck up the entire world.
    Should we choose Barrack Obama for being just as useless and impotent as he was expected to be. As the US are learning, the great black hope doesn’t have a clue. I would actually give this to Rajendra Pachauri (Al Gore is so last year). He’s the most dangerous Hunt on the world stage at the moment

    Like

  161. 415
    jorb says:

    Impressed. good work on the auto substituion. we all know that Hoon is a (four letters, starts with C). so read earlier posts with this in mind.

    Like

  162. 417
    Tubb says:

    Sh*t Politician of the Year: Ed Balls. He scares me rigid. You only have to pencil in a small moustache and you can see that there is definitely something of the Reich about him.

    Like

  163. 419
    Barmy Army somewhere near Rorke's Drift says:

    Shit Politician: Zanu Labour, fawsands of ‘em.
    Shit blogger of the year: Apart from freddie flintoff, all of them.

    Is the bar open yet?

    Like

  164. 421
    Specky says:

    Sh*t Politician of the Year, too many to mention but Cyclops and Harperson and Fatty Prescott stand out.
    •Sh*t Journalist of the Year, Most of the Guardian slime but Moonbat and Toyneebee ,cynical opportunists.
    •Sh*t Blogger of the Year, Liberal conspiracy, this Stalinist believes in AGW and is therefore a crook as well.
    •Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year, Railroad boy Pacthuri,Snake oil Gore and the rest of the NWO, EUSSR, UN crooks.
    Special prize for Prix d’ Sh*t of the year, the anti smoking fascists and the rest of the public sector parasites.

    Like

  165. 422
    ThatGuy says:

    Like the guy who nips to the loo when it’s his round, then promises to “see you right next time”. That’s Cameron’s Referendum pledge.

    Shit politician – David Cameron

    Like

  166. 425
    Edward Balls says:

    I am THE shit politician of the year. No doubt about it.

    I don’t normally have to give reasons for my opinions, but on this occasion I shall make an exception. You see the shit is real. It’s over me because I spend most of my waking life right up Gordon’s arse and the rest of the time wondering just what I have to do to get back up it. You could argue I am therefore the shittiest politician, but so what? Do you really think I give a shit…

    Like

  167. 426
    I Squiggle says:

    Sh*t Journalist of the Year.

    OK, rather boring of me not to have another journo other than Pretty Polly Tonybee to nominate after 30 years, so:

    Michael White. On the basis that he has gone one stage further than perfecting the ability to speak out of his arse. He now appears to have *two* arses to speak out of, so as to come up with diametrically opposed opinions (a week’s a long time in politics, isn’t it Michael). And, and here’s the kicker, he does it without moving his lips.

    Like

  168. 428

    Hoon Prix d’ Sh*t of the Year:
    Dr Rajendra Pachauri – for being a complete tw*t and setting the lawyers on a UK blogger who has exposed his conflicts of interest, he should have stood for Parliament and saved the fees!

    Like

  169. 429
    Doc Trough says:

    I should like to nominate Stuart Bell as Commons Shit Politician of the year, for his show of outrageous faux dignity at the height of the expenses gorefest. From the other place – George Foulkes, as unpleasant a lush and bully as ever stumbled the PoW corridors.

    Shit Journo – Rita Chakrabarti on Brown being clearly booed by veterans at the Normandy beaches. Said something along the lines of – “They may not be booing him……”

    Does Bob Roberts of Worcester count as a blogger?

    Big Chief Bigshit – Brooness Pat Scotland who cannot understand the little people’s inability to see why she is above her own law.

    All this from the surface of the contents of the septic tank. Imagine if someone were to disturb the sediment……

    Like

  170. 430
    Jimmy Fox says:

    Shit Journo was Kevin McGuire who wrote tough but was a pussycat on the BBC.

    Shit MP was Vera Baird, Solicitor-General, who obviously thought that the country was so up to its neck in the brown stuff that her dog leaving a rancid coil on Kings Cross station would not be noticed. To posh to pick up? – may she lose her own deposit this year.

    Hoon dumb arse shit eunuch wannabe goes to Umar Faroul Abdulmutallab, who thought that a sure fire way to get into Heaven and shag 72 virgins was to blow his own bollocks off.

    The winning entry ought to be from Nick Griffin, who, if he does well in the election, will want all the black shirts he can lay his hands on…….

    Like

  171. 431
    Mad Jock McMad says:

    Lord George Foulkes – a better example of a complete sh*t politician I can not think off – he out Hoon’s Hoon, is a bigger self harmer of the Labour party than Gordon Brown, was parachuted into the Labour list for Holyrood and has done more to promote Wee Eck than Wee Eck (and that takes some doing), his expenses are excessive (allegedly double dipping the same expenses at the House of Lords and Holyrood) and was the man who brought Vlad the Impaler to my beloved Heart of Midlothian.

    Sh*t Politician does not start to describe this Hoon’s Hoon…..

    Like

  172. 432
    Mad Jock McMad says:

    For us in Scotland I would like to nominate the pond life that is Glen Campbell of the BBC for sh*t journalist. A man who is so biased towards Labour and so anti anyone else that Scottish bloggers on the BBC Scotland site have created an adverb ‘Glencampbelly’ which is used to describe the telling of major porkies about Labour opposition or on Labour’s behalf; as if they were true – typically by BBC Scotland journo’s.

    Like

  173. 433
    Mad Jock McMad says:

    Hoon Prix d’Sh*t Politician of the year can only go to Harriet Harperson for the most routine presentation of total bollocks as New Labour policy or proto New Labour policy.

    Like


Seen Elsewhere

What Will Happen if Scots Leave? | David Aaronovitch
Why Are Radicals Like Carswell Leaving Tories? | BBC
Danczuk: Rotherham Abuse Imported From Pakistan | Telegraph
Ashya King Case Shows How Authorities Get it Wrong | ConHome
The Carswell Show | Jon Craig
Cops Seized Journalist’s Phone to Out Whistleblower | Press Gazette
Chuka’s £2,500 Tax Avoidance Donation | Times
Another BBC Stitch Up? | David Keighley
Divided, Pessimistic Tories Expect Defeat | Alex Wickham
Labour Suspends Rotherham Council Members | Sky
PM Used Terror Crisis to Deflect From Carswell | Rachel Sylvester


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George Osborne rejects the Ice Bucket Challenge from Ed Balls:

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Owen Jones says:

We also need Zil lanes.


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