This image of Guido Claus and his Christmas angels – Nadine and Yvette – is taken from the Guy News Christmas Special going out shortly. Guy News is now easily the most popular political channel on YouTube, with more viewers week after week than the official WebCameron, LabourVision or Downing Street channels. The Guidogram goes out free to thousands of subscribers every week…
Factcheck: Labour Scaremongering on Sure-Start Untrue – Cathy Newman
Bercow Loses his Rag in Chamber – Paul Waugh
Cameron Casts Himself as Obama – Political Scrapbook
Brussels Attacks Darling Deficit Plan – FT
Tim Montgomerie Interview – New Statesman
Mann denies Being W****r – Mannisms
Comrade Brown, as Deluded as the East German Politburo – Telegraph
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Eric Pickles told this morning’s press conference…
“Comrades, welcome to Transport House…”
-Gilts (Mar)
As of 26 Feb 2010
Flat – No Positions
As of 23 Feb 2010 +30.81%
-Gilts (Mar)
As of 19 Feb 2010 +20.13%
That’s shit
All I want for Christmas is a warmer globe.
Add your abuse to Prescott on Youtube. He’s in pieces (and the canteen) at Nohopenhagen
Gordon the Ruiner, Part Two, by Stansilav
(All) “In my country would hang this bastard up by neck off lamppost for few hours and then chop off fucking head, stick-up on spike and piss down throat and feed body to bogblokes, bastard is good for fuck all and waste of fucking space is; is worse than fucking Jock, innit, this bastard, Hoon, is fucking rubbish, could kill ten times and still not enough would be ? As much use as chocolate fucking blowtorch, eh? Send horrible fucking bastard straight down in Hell and hot poker shove-up in poxed-up murderer’s arse is, for ever and ever, Amen. Let him tell Mr Devil he simply doesn’t accept this or that, fucking lying fucking bastard shithead sonoffuckingbitch. And God bless from stanislav, friendly Polish plumber, do good job and cheap for cash. Take off shoes and everything.”
http://bastardoldholborn.blogspot.com/2009/02/gordon-ruiner-part-two-by-stanislav.html
When Jonah turns up in Hell is the day Satan turns up at the Gates of Heaven and begs forgiveness.
W.W.
The link on the right reveals that McBust has abitrarily decided that a 20% reduction in CO2 by 2020 isn’t good enough – he thinks 42% will impress his chums at the No-Hopenhagen bunfight.
He’s seriously derranged and the sooner someone slips a straighjacket on him the better. It’s time we were rid of this ridiculous puffed-up incompetent before we find ourselves back in the stone age.
I have been around a few years but I cannot recall at any time a greater sense of panic at the shafting we are now undergoing.
When Gordon turns up at the mouth of Hell Satan will say “Yo, Gord. Nice job!”
For many years, it has been a widely held belief that the environment is an issue for the left. So I understand why, in environmental circles, the high profile that my party has recently given to the challenge of climate change was greeted initially with a degree of scepticism. The green movement was similarly suspicious of Governor Schwarzenegger in California when he began to focus on the same issue. But suspicion has now turned to surprise, with the realisation that politicians of the centre right are engaged, in earnest, with this most pressing and crucial challenge for our society.
I shared a platform with Tony Juniper, director of Friends of the Earth, and committed my party to supporting a climate change Bill in the Queen’s speech. Such a Bill would establish year-on-year targets for the reduction of greenhouse gas emissions by at least 60 per cent by 2050, set in place a legal framework to ensure the targets are met, and establish an independent monitor to report to Parliament on Britain’s progress in meeting them.
Politicians must work together, nationally and internationally, if we are to develop an effective response to the global challenge of climate change. Our children will judge the current generation of political leaders on our ability to put aside party differences in order to face up to this unprecedented global threat.
I recently met former US Vice-President Al Gore, whose powerful film about climate change, An Inconvenient Truth, is about to be distributed in UK cinemas, and I am delighted that Republican Senator John McCain, who has done so much to promote a cross-party consensus on climate change in the US, will be coming to our party conference in Bournemouth this October. Rising to the threat of climate change will require more than conventional party politics has to offer -DAVID CAMERON
“Our children will judge the current generation of political leaders on our ability to put aside party differences in order to face up to this unprecedented global threat”
indeed they will dave, however the threat is the corrupted politicians, who are to enslave them in a fascist state to a few bankers and their royal backers based on another lie.
YOU corrupted bastards backing a undemocratic totalitarian EU/NWO state are the global threat!
As Sir William said – “When Gordon turns up at the mouth of Hell Satan will say “Yo, Gord. Nice job!”
And when Tony Blair turns up it will be “Welcome home son. I could not have done better myself. Waydagoooooohh!”
Russia today satilite TV is the only reliable source of news as opposed to propaganda in communist Britain.
How ironic!
want a real news channel – get Russia today while you still can.
Worthless ignorant pig. Too stupid to know he is stupid. Scum.
Hey prescott are you shaggin anyone over there in Copenhagen ?
Just your mum lad.
Got any pies? Crisps? Anything?
Yes i was walking down this street when this woman really got the hots for me she started to undress in her window and the red light in the back ground made her look really sexy she coulden’t take her eyes off me . so we had 5 mins of hot passion and it was great ,but somewhere in all that rumpy pumpy i seem to misplace my wallet !
I’m afraid I wouldn’t even consider listening to Prescott’s rambings without a translator. I can’t understand a word the bloke says.
Do you want a thump lad?
Got any pies?
“I can’t understand a word the bloke says.”
Neither can he.
I’ll thump you too Janus.
Pies? Pastie? Pizza even?
Shut your gob you fat fuck.
Do you want some of the Prescott treatment too fuckface? I’ll smack you too.
Got any pies?
“Barack Obama has thrashed out a “meaningful agreement” with China, India and South Africa at the Copenhagen summit, in an “historic first step forward” on climate change action, US officials have said.”
NO mention of dickhead McBlowhard Dioxide Brown then
Ho ho that broom cupboard swept the saviour of the world, the universe and God, right off the stage.
Back in your box you failed scummy fake.
and it’s a non binding agreement. Like mine with Putin to cede Russia to my sovereignty. Just words and fucking fantasies.
It’s all yours, here’s the keys. Fucking savages the lot of them.
No that’s not true, he was sent round with a collection tin for the ‘Save the World from Global Warming/ Cooling/ Drought/ Floods Fund’, and, since Brown is the foremost authority on squandering other people’s money he was perfect for the job!
I heard a rumour they were advertising for contestants on a new reality show called “I’m an absolute fucking disaster get me out of here”
but had to call it off because everyone backed out when an anonymous one eyed jock turned up for his audition.
STOP PRESS
Lord Monckton beaten up by Danish Police in Nohopenhagen
http://sppiblog.org/news/is-the-european-police-state-going-global
Many of us saw this coming.
Pity no one listened.
Now it’s too late.
That’s disgraceful. Welcome to the Brave New UN Fascist World. Troops home now to protect us from these assholes.
Why do you think that MacStalin has been stealthily disarming the Armed Services for the last 12 years?
Exactly. Best troops in the world and they’re being sacrificed in endless, pointless wars. Ruin and Bliar are traitors.
Best troops in the World, totally hamstrung by a lack of Strategic direction, equipment shortages, logistic and ordanance deficiencies, ineffective Medevac, and worst of all the surefire knowledge that any rightful claims for support in the community as a result of maiming will be fought tooth and nail by the shiny suits in Whitehall. The same ones that get a big bonus for cheeseparing.
This is either callous, cruel, and despicable. Or a cunning plan to keep active troops out of the country. If only a few of our boys will take it upon themselves to slot Brown, Jobsworth, Sion Fuckface, Balls, Harperson etc.
All NWO conspiracy deniers should take time over Xmas to put the jigsaw together. The final piece is v. satisfying and v. frightening!…
What, no video? I was looking forward to seeing something to laugh at.
arms yourselves while you can
Labour to impose 40% tax on Aspirin. Because it’s white and it works.
Racist!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just as Doctors tell those patients who take it as a prevention to stop
Wow – that’s shocking.
Of course the cop would have had radio communications with controllers, and they (probably agents for green scum) most likely said something like, “maim that bastard. He’s the main truth-teller.”
These evil left Nazis are completely out of control globally.
This ‘green’ bollox is just an excuse for left Nazis to thieve and abuse. Nu Liebore and the rest of the left Nazis in Europe don’t believe in anything, except lining their own pockets and staying on the gravy train.
Some sort of insurrection is needed, and left Nazis Europe-wide need culling.
A 20 megaton warhead, with 3-4 fuel/air bombs gaffer taped to it and co-ordinates for Copenhagen.
Heh heh.
No, no, no – a secret, highly trained eilte squad of monkeys sent in to infiltrate and kill them all with taekwondo. But not these fellas.
Don’t be a dickhead. If we were to nuke Copenhagen the resulting Nuclear Winter would reduce the planet’s temeperature by about 2 degrees C.
Het. Wait a minute…..
That is truly appalling – the guy was an accredited representative at the Conference. Hope his complaints stick.
Guido there are thousands of pictures of lady boy Yvette Balls looking gormless and you give us this blurry screenshot?
Yvette looks like Draper.
Have we ever seen them together?
Copenhagen climate summit: ‘most important paper in the world’ is a glorified UN press release
http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/geraldwarner/100020279/copenhagen-climate-summit-most-important-paper-in-the-world-is-a-glorified-un-press-release/
Now this is What a Caption Should be Guido.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1236751/Sarah-Jessica-Parker-suffers-wardrobe-malfunction-flimsy-dress-caught-wind.html
Again I tell you, it is easier to find your way through the toe of a camel and for the camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for Blair and Brown to enter the kingdom of God.
I’d play that Hole any day.
Teeing off, a big drive, hole in one and straight into the 19th
Why the long face?
I will, whether she wants to or not. I’ll be a hero.
She still looks like a boiled horse though.
Yeah lad, but you can it’s fanny!!!! Phwoooerr!!
Got any pies?
Shes got a nice Gordon and a fine pair of Millibands
Wot skool did you go to lad? Correct term for woman is ‘it’ not ’she’.
Got a pie?
She’s still a complete DOG!!!
It’s a complete dog. It’s. It’s.
Pie?
Both my dogs are very offended by that comment. They say they’ve got looks, personality, intelligence, class – everything she doesn’t. Oh – and fleas – does she have fleas?
What do you mean, ‘ I failed my CRB check’ ?
And you are un-registered so far.
Barack Obama’s speech disappoints and fuels frustration at Copenhagen
http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2009/dec/18/obama-speech-copenhagen
Gordon will be devastated.
or preferably defenestrated.
You have in the past, bust your balls, in trying to win a guido t-shirt then? Are you a guido groupie? Are you a romancer of plump tory boys then? I think we see the real tat! And I think we should be told!
The proper French stuff is still unavailable.
Just waiting for the right moment? Eh? Was the hormone Therapy responsible for Esther Rantzen being your Political Party of choice. Weirdo. Strange how you have been stalking yourself.
On reflection I think this is a wind up promoted by that well known self publicist. Doubt he has the courage to make the ‘Change’. Top Girl?
Nah, Big Girls blouse more like
tat it always surprises me that your eloquent postings never make it into the main stream media, can I suggest you get an agent who can secure you a slot on the Andrew Marr show, reviewing the papers on a Sunday morning. If that goes well you can maybe try an appearance on “Loose Women” which should bring you to a wider audience.
True Tim
ANOTHER LABOUR FIRST
Wrong feckin door mate
Wuuhahahaha. I’m saving the world me.
Ta Daaaaa, wot temperature woukd like today, 23C, OK that will be £245 trillion ta
Bargain!!
We can straddle a 6 foot Norwegian and still smile
Nadine and Cooper.
Why are the pretty ones always insane?
I have been classified as sane on two occasions. I’m still greedy though.
Had a six foot Swedish bird for a bit (no, not norwegian but close) Didn’t work out. Being a short arse, I couldnt be seen in public with her. No way I was going to do a Bercow. She did gobble like a turkey who swallowed though. Happy days!
Hello.
Well Nadine is from Liverpool after all and a football fan so after hearing today’s draw she says to Guido
BBC Headline “Liverpool FC face Unirea test in Europe”
I knew all that unprotected sex would come back to haunt them.
But you had to add the word “test” to the real headline to create your joke. Which has rendered it a shit joke.
Maybe he did crack a shit joke, but you’re a shit PM from a shit party in a shit government, so are in no position to complain.
Fuck you. I’m too busy saving the world from itself to bother with this argument.
A few representatives from the Met’s TSG will be with you soon though and I’m assured they take notes.
The only notes you’re interested in taking are the ones from our wallets, you fat thieving halfwit. Once you’ve taken them from those of us who earn 20K or more, you’ll distribute them to your friends the workshy, in an attempt to bribe them to vote Labour. Trouble is, not only are they too lazy to work, they’re also too lazy to vote.
Even though it was shit It’s still way beter than you’re “playing fiels of Eaton” effort you glass eyed c*nt !
i just wish the late great Bernard Manning was still here ! He would have a fucking field day with you !
R.I.P Bernard !
You need a TSG home visit too? You sit there mocking while I’m busy saving the entire planet? Even the little dark children? Think of the brown babies i’m saving before you post. It’s no coincidence my family name is also brown. Because I am the right man to divert your tax pounds to those that need them. The brown babies of Africa.
Fuckwit
Christ,Brown’s cursed me with his own eyes – it’s all blurred!
What do you want for Christmas?
A decent camera and some photoshop training.
And a book on perspective and use of colour.
Got em all mate.Nikon/Aperture/CS4.
I really want Nadine going down on Eva Braun Cooper Balls dressed as Santa’s favourite helper – with a reindeer antler especially sharp – that should help my pension plan.
Does Yvette paddle the pink canoe then?
you dont think she actualy shags GoerBalls do you?
Mad for comfy shoes. And likes her men to be feminine.
Might be all the wanking?
I’ve just read Guido’s link,
“Brown’s Copenhagen Offer Slashes UK GDP 30% – Taxpayers’ Alliance”
and it’s left me utterly speechless.
We really are completely in the shit here because we do not have a functional opposition.
Which political party leader is going to prevent Brown cutting the Country’s throat?
Never has this country had to suffer so much from a bunch of politicians in all parties who are so utterly stupid, deluded, demented and incompetent.
Will “Windmill Dave” do anything about Brown’s attempts to destroy the country or will it be another Lisbon?
I think you will find that Dave in his attempts to out green Gordon would throw even more money away.
Message to DC – If you think that by your present, pitiful performance an election win is going to drop into your lap, think again. You are paid to oppose so for God’s sake get on and do it. If that’s beyond you then resign now so that we can elect someone with balls!
I think they’re all too busy feathering their own nests – we have an authoritarian dictatorship here now which ever party is in charge – bastrads the lot of them
And so when WILL you lot start to riot?
Tell me,what does it actually take for you people to riot?
So typically British.
Blah blah blah ooh yes terrible isn’t it.
Riot? Oh no sir,the police will get me.
Bloody cowards.
More tea anyone?
ooh yes please. Weather’s gone rather cold, don’t you think?
Couldn’t someone else do it?
Maybe the Danish police?
It really isn’t that bad
Is the Office on again at Christmas? Or Morecombe and Wise?
We need a good tax to object to:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRj2K0ulD8Q
Cameron’s green taxes will be his poll tax.
Now, now, I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for everything
Sorry its the final of “Strictly” tomorow and then the Christmas version of Eastenders and then “Corrie” and then “Dr Who” then…..well you get the gist
Think I will be washing my hairs!
Any other nation would have slotted Brown by now. I agree, we are a nation of idle, dishonest cowards.
Nation sounds far too co-hesive. The rest seems about right. What to do?
Perhaps some constitutional lawyer could explain how Brown can pledge so much overseas aid money, and then double it. Would Cabinet minutes show prior approval?
How exactly do they think that it is right to give money to developing countries on the basis of historic Co2 emissions. What is the verifiable effect of this output to the 3rd World? Sea levels have not risen. No island states have been lost to the sea in the last 2 centuries. The Bangladesh Delta issue is quite different, and the whole area should be cleared of humans, and mangroves replanted. There is a definable cost to this. About £188.00.
How can he double the pledged reduction in Co2 without confirming that there is a proven link to AGW. And that the reductions already taken and costing the population a fortune have had a measurable effect on the local climate. And then the World climate.
If a rise in 2′C average is so devastating, does then a cooling of the same magnitude have a beneficial effect?
Fear not Moley. I, superman spasmoid, I will save Britain, Europe and the World from this Brown you speak of!
Moley.
It left you speechless? Then perhaps you should have stopped typing at “speechless”. You cockholster.
Anon
Have a bunch of five, tithead.
“Guido eyes his Christmas opportunities”
Costcutter two for one white wine special?
Patel “Ah mr guido, no need to go to the fridge, I was expecting you. Two bottles of my cheapest Soave already bagged up”
Guido “thanks. Pay you next week?”
Christmas 2010.
After the fatal bitch fight which broke out in the House of Commons in early November the two protagonists appear with a multitude of hosts.
As do all the most successful parasites.
Looking forward to a Happy No Labour Christmas and New Year 2010.
Is that picture blurred or am I vewwy vewwy drunk?
Merry Christmas and a happy and prosperous New Year to all MPs everywhere!
HAHAHAhahaHHAHAHAHAAhahahahhaHAHAHA!!!
Zip it!! Capice?
Nadine can I borrow your vibrator Ed is stuck up McTwats arse. If not can you just give my muff a quick lick
Does anybody here like Conservative Future?
c’unts the lot of ‘em.
Why?
Erm…because CF is just another bunch of jump-up no-marks who think they have all the answers, but who are only really interested in political power as a means of self-enrichment.
Seen it all before.
Get on the scales Guido!.
Saw Guido the other day, a complete mess, and the smell, my God!
Labour smear squad in action above. They will tolerate no dissent.
Nice picture of Adeela Shafi on Dale.
Another top Tory totty.
why are most Labour wimmin about as attractive as a bendy bus?
Now you are TALKING mate – I find the 2006 (Q2) model the most exciting,especially when it does a sharp left turn into a hotel room.
Terrible to reverse out – though – bloody bender.
She is top totty.
See the donations form? “Thanks to Andrew Goodfellow for their recent donation. Help reach the target by donating today.” I wonder what he expects to get for his donation?
‘A’ level Art has come a long way under nu labour just look what spending trillions on education has acheived!!!!
Not to mention being able to spell “achieved”.
tanks a lot our kid! giggle spull chicker stopped working and I only got a cse grade 5 in english achieved under the last labour goverment plus the fact I spent most of the 70’s sniffing glue! however I did get a cse grade 3 in metal work and a 100m swimming award.
O/T “more or less on Radio 4
almost 25% of UK income Tax revenue is paid by the top 1% of earners
Interesting stuff on the BBC website,so it MUST be true.
Just looked at Ian Dale’s Diary.
Adeela is a babe
I desperately want to help Adeela win her seat but I just need a little something from her 1st!
Is her name Adeela Shaftme ?
I’m also backing the ousting of whelk faced McCarthy
http://bastardoldholborn.blogspot.com/2009/12/merry-kerry-gets-some-welly.html
I too would like to win her seat.
Nads,Prick and Balls.
Nadine: And the Lord will go down on you and you will have a bay-bee!
Yvette: And don’t forget, it’s New Labour you’ve got to thank for SureStart.
I am a keen supporter of Aston Villa Football Club
In this season of goodwill, please take a moment to think about the plight of ‘Flyglobespan’ going bust, causing the Celtic fans flight to be cancelled and the fans already in Vienna to be stranded.
Remember, laughing at Celtic is for life not just for Christmas !
and of course,Celtic drew 3:3 and STILL didn’t get any further in the competition.
Scotland – always ready to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
53 goals were conceded by scottish clubs in European competition this season.
Well done for keeping us entertained!
I like the idea shooting practice at hapless scottish teams – when will we be doing this to the Cabinet?
Has Jackie Schmidt turned up to watch at the Holt End or was she just pretending to be a fan to win over the gulible in Redditch?
And we’re up to our necks in Fenian blood, surrender or you’ll die, for we are the Billy Billy boys.
tepee plea
I went to the Barbers today.
“How much for a hair cut?”, i asked.
“£5″, the Barber replied.
“How much for a shave?”, i asked.
“£2″, the Barber replied.
So i said, “Right, well shave my head”.
Your posts are crap, dull and serve no purpose, are you Gordon?
When Guido dressed up as St Nick
And decked his festive halls
He looked an almost total prat
And so did Mrs Balls
Presenting a united front
With lovely Nadine D
He chanted “Gordon is a chump”
Beneath the Christmas tree
David Cameron said he was going away for a year to find himself.
‘Well’ I told him
‘When you find him, tell him he’s a Hoon.’
Guy News would appear to be the new “Two Girls One Cup”.
Congrats to all.
Meanwhile, Jimmy’s blog goes from strength to strength…
Shouldn’t that be “from death to rigor mortis”?
Jus’ askin’.
Bit like Jimmy’s politics, really. Nowt left but the smell of death.
– Guido Fawkes, recipient of the world’s biggest bailout, is contributing 10 pounds ($16) a head toward employee Christmas parties this year, enough to buy two pints of lager and a packet of potato chips.
“Guido just isn’t doing anything in terms of Christmas parties this year because he’s worried about how he will be perceived,” said Mike Kershaw, chairman of Concerto Group and an events planner for more than 25 years.
Now that’s what I call austerity,Good Man,Well Done.
boring.
Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem!
Added the wordsmith, never short of added value our TaTs posts!
All beans, no bounce
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Your lists are getting mixed up. Beans and people. V. Strange.
Had me stumped for a caption. Then, as happens, you turn your mind to more constructive things, and a solution appears, self-evident in its simplicity.
“Ho, Ho, (and) Ho”
Superb article by Randall in todays DT
BA’s selfish staff are symbolic of a country that’s falling apart
The United Kingdom feels more fractured today than at any time since the poll tax riots, argues Jeff Randall.
That’s a really good line,
“Brown-Balls-Cooper axis”
and abbreviates to the BBC.
Well I’ll be a horses vagina, It is a conspiracy.
and these don’t include so many more – he does in one year,what other politicians take a whole career to amass.
http://conservativehome.blogs.com/leftwatch/2009/12/the-best-brown-videos-of-2009.html
McBride: “Hello Santa, what’s that you’ve got in your sack?”
Guido Claus: “You’re served. Again.”
Nads and Balls Help Fill Santa Fawkes’ sack.
Two fairies empty Guido Klaus’ sack.
Got any spare change?
Santa Claus, one smart and one stupid policeman are walking together when they spot a hundred dollars on the ground. Who will take the money?
The stupid policeman, since Santa Claus and smart policeman don’t exist!
Dull post troll
Last night I was going to kill myself by swallowing a handful of asprins……. but after taking the first two I felt much better.
Sad little man, betcha all alone in bedsitlsnd again this Christas.
Your gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Just because your test tube was sterilised?
Julie Kirkbride Bye-Bye
At the risk of seeming to encourage this rather disgusting politician by responding, isn’t actually up to the electorate to choose her successor, rather than the local Conservative club? Or has the constitution changed since I was at school?
Decorations courtesy of belles and balls.
Guardian;
“More people may be incubating variant CJD, the human version of so-called “mad cow disease”, than was previously thought, according to scientists who today report an unusual case of the disease”.
Bollocks!
BSE and Foot and Mouth only occurred in the UK. Bollocks!
The Sea is getting to be more acidic. Bollocks!
Aids will de-populate the Planet. Bollocks!
Swine Flu will be a devastating Pandemic. Bollocks!
Sars will be a killer Pandemic. Bollocks!
Bird Flu will become the leading killer of the Century. Bollocks!
Y2K, and the Y3K will cause a huge technological breakdown. Bollocks!
Acid Rain will kill all the Forests. Bollocks!
This list is very long and it is all BOLLOCKS!
Ah, angelic behaviour, how refreshingly different to that shown by the shit for hair lawyer Vera Baird, yes love , I’m a dog lover too, but only a socialist would expect someone else to clean up after them!
UK hit hardest by banking bailout, with £1trillion spent to save the City
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1236800/UK-hit-hardest-banking-bailout-1trillion-spent-save-City.html
Yvette – ” All this flapping is much harder than flipping”
Swann getting stuck in!
60 off off 55
Is that a seagull at silly mid-off?
O/T
Rogue poll?
http://www2.politicalbetting.com/index.php/archives/2009/12/18/labour-move-up-a-bit-in-new-pb-angus-reid-poll/
CON 40% (40)
LAB 24% (23)
LD 20%(19)
OTHERS 15% (18)
Lab 16% points behind, could be worse they might be 16% points ahead.
24%!? WHO! WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE!!! Does the sky actually have to fall down for you to wake up and smell the devestation!
They speak highly of you. Honest. They are mesmerised by your eloquent prose that is always original, and seldom repeated.
TaT, the avid follower of the Esther Rantzen party.
Don’t forget who first revealed Gordon Brown is CIA
Pretentious, Moi?
O’Bummer was always in with a good shout to edge Billary the murdering Lezzer.
Think Boris is bright enough to have helped his own cause, and escape plan.
Hung Parliament predict do you, but that shows your hope rather than your punditry.
As for Top Boy? Well the mind truly boggles. Delusion is such a lovely place this time of year. You sure those Paraffin fumes haven’t got to you?
Ho Ho Ho.
Been lovely and lush here on St. Jame’s’ Beach. You would like Barbados. Perhaps too many Blacks for you?
Alas too much red Balls
A man is standing by the side of the road with his thumb out. A woman stops her car.
“Can you give me a lift?” he asks.
“Sure. You look great. The world’s your oyster. Go for it! Bye!”
Master Baiter goes for a check up at the doctors.
“I’m afraid that you’ll have to stop wanking, young man”, sez the doc.
“Why’s that?” sez the young tosser.
“Because I haven’t finished your examination”.
Not another cut and paster FFS.
http://www.spectator.co.uk/alexmassie/5649086/sion-simons-totalitarian-mazurka.thtml
reqiured reading (and then some sniggering)
‘Sion Simon’ is an anagram of ‘No Mission’
Also… Miss Onion
Moon Is Sin
So Minions
“Can I have an Action Man for Christmas, Santa? One that’s just like that big butch hero in the helmet and body armour who was in Kandahar Province last week?”
“You’ll have to excuse me for a moment, Sarah. There’s a bucket outside I’ve got to go and be sick into.”
Al Gore says the Arctic is melting. The arctic does not seem to agree.
http://nsidc.org/arcticseaicenews/
Perhaps he needs to fly over it a few more times in his personal jet with the after-burners going.
Not possible – civilian jet-powered aircraft do not have afterburners.
You absolutely sure? Think again. Civilian would be any aircraft NOT if current Military use? Just being a bit more pedantic than a pedant.
The Artic does melt. Every year. Some years more than others.
Google US Nuclear Submarines at the North Pole. Then look at the year of the piccies.
Yet more proof that Al Gore is a mendacious, scurrilous, falsifier of Veracity.
An antartic ice extent is up 50% since 1980.
http://tinyurl.com/iceup43-nsidc
Psychiatrists say that one out of four people are mentally ill…….. Check three friends. If they’re OK, you’re it.
I haven’t got any friends.
And with a friend like you, who would need enemas ?
All foam, no beer
All mouth, no trousers.
My wife made me join a bridge club………….. I jump off next Tuesday.
My wife belongs to a club called the Turkey Basters Club. Fuck knows what that’s all about, but it keeps her busy.
Guido. O/T
A reporter flew to Copenhagen and by chance was on the same flight as Hiliary (don’t call me Wedgewood-Benn) Benn. On arrival, Benn jumped into a Jag. and was whisked away, rather than use the excellent train service.
Just a thought, but does anyone know if that Jag. had been driven out from London?
Not many Jags in Denmark with a luxury tax of 125% on big cars.
I was talking to a bloke down the pub.
He stretched out his fingers, and showed the palm of his hand. “Perception is like this.” he said.
Then he closed his fingers a little. “Assent is like this.”
Then he completely closed his hand, and showed me his fist. ”Comprehension is like this.”
But when he put his left hand against his right fist, I knew what was coming so I decked the Hoon.
On the way out I leaned over him, tapped my nose, and said ”Knowledge.”
I have been told that my wife Yvette Cooper has been compared to a lady boy on this actual website.
Whilst I have no problem with shafting chicks-with-dicks, I can categorically say that Yvette is all woman, or at least she was the last time she let me look.
So please, in future knock the real ladyboys, like that bastard Mandels- (this last bit has been moderated).
I wish my parents had used birth control.
so do we
I’m confused. Is it Brown, Hilary Clinton or Obama who has saved the planet?
It’s not me and I’m going off to sulk all week-end and watch my opinion poll ratings slump.
Help me think of some policies to present to the electorate because I haven’t got a fucking clue
Oh dear Dave, you’re only 16 points ahead. What a calamity.
CON 40% (40)
LAB 24% (23)
LD 20%(19)
OTHERS 15% (18)
Toss in the postal votes and gorgon wins with a landslide.
Yeah Dave, it must be a bummer to be 16 points ahead.
Gordon Brown, the tw@t that can’t stop giving..
Dave, don’t forget your green taxes. The public really love those (not!)
Just like congestion charges that NuLabour reckon are so popular. So popular that we all really want them. It would be an early Xmas present.
It is getting to the point where all earnings are going to be given straight to the State, and they will decide everything we are then able to do by ration system, housing programme, heating allowance, clothing tokens, pocket money.
I am fucking furious with the way we have let these greedy bastards get away with it. The opposition are just bloody useless. They have no plans to reverse any of the swarm, nay rash of laws, and taxes. Useless wankers.
What do you think PAYE is?
PAYE set at 100% was my point AC1. That way there will be no leakage.
With the stringent money laundering laws, proposed to starve terrorism of funds. This is actually anti avoidance legislation. A move to stop cheque use is another part of the ploy. We will be restricted to plastic cards and cash. The squeeze is on the put the Black Economy into a taxable enviroment.
The only game in town is to fund the currently unfunded Civil Service pension entitlements. Every bit of legislation is geared towards keeping the Humphreys in relative comfort.
883 000 google hits for the rather unkown Hero Hilary Clinton so it must be him!
Bob the Builder…..YES WE CAN!!!
If you include Presgitt we call call them the Fantastic Four
None of them have any power to “save the planet” it’s likely to be Wen Jiabao who decides if the deal is on or not !!
We Jiabao/ Noel Edmonds… Deal or No Deal?? FFS..
At the shopping centre the other day, eating at the food court, an old man sat watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colours: green, red, orange and blue.
The old man’s stare never faltered. The teenager would look and every time he did so, he found the old man’s eyes fixed on him.
Eventually, the teenager had had enough and he asked sarcastically, “What’s the matter with you old man – never done anything wild in your life?”
The old man did not bat an eye in his response. “Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock” he said. “I was just wondering if you were my son.”
peahen perhaps?
Don’t tell us…..you were that old man. Hilarious.
This is not the place for fowl jokes.
Don’t be such a chicken.
Chickenshit cocksucker.
PHEEEEEW-TWEEET!!! (cuttle) SQUEEETLE!!
TaT, don’t be such a berk.
Brandy. Fucking loads of it. Been down to Oddbins for the Xmas stash. The car sounded like a fucking milkfloat flying over speedbumps.
I intend to spend the next 10 days completely drunk before I need to sober up for Hogmanay.
Och Aye
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/mps-expenses/6839810/MPs-expenses-Julie-Kirkbride-confirms-she-is-to-step-down.html
At Last! Julie Kirkbride has finally done the decent thing and announced she isn’t standing at the next GE.
I wonder what it was cameron said to her that made her decide to stand down?
Or what job was on offer
I hope he’s not going to do a gordon as soon as he gets into no.10 and send our troughing julie to the HoL to join all those labour criminals.
That would be a mega error!!!!
There might be a little something going in the EU
“Baroness Kirkbride of Bromsgrove in the County of Worcester” has the ring of inevitability about it.
Wonder if she approved of her men eating citrus fruit, whilst trying to re-cycle light bulbs into a plastic bin-bag, and ignoring health and safety directives reference step ladders. Tragic situation, and frankly this behaviour must hang over her like a big black cloud.
At last I have finally figured out why we are in the bloody mess we are.
We’ve had fuckwit politicians for years but until now a decent body of old hands to guide them/kick ‘em in to reality. Now we have a lower house of fuckwit career politicians – I could mention the Millibands, but that would be unfair. Then there’s the dark lord.
Has a Staff Xmas party at Home did we?
Well you should bloody know. You wre there pissed again.
Please support me on tour,I’m skint
Get Live Tour tickets on order order
See Joe, Olly, Stacey,Dave Cameron and the rest in the X Factor Live Tour by getting tickets on order order.
order order has great tickets for The X Factor Live Tour as well as George Osborne and William Hague’s farewell tour
No thanks, I’ll be buying tickets to the Labour Party farewell tour. It might be the last we see of the fuckers.
Even better if they do a Michael Jackson on us.
A dyslexic irishman went for a job on a building site. The foreman said “whats your name” he said “paddy o mulligan”;”how do you spell it”. Paddy replied “stick the job up your arse”
An Irishman went for a job on a building site. The foreman explained that he’d have to ask a few questions to assess the Irishman’s competence. No problem at all, says the Irishman. The foreman asks him if he knows the difference between a joist and a girder. The Irisman replies that he thinks that a very easy question, because everyone knows that joist wrote Ulysses, and that girder wrote Faust.
Paddy and his two friends, Bill and Simon, are talking at a bar.
Bill says: “I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician.”
“What makes you think that?” asks Paddy.
“Well the other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren’t mine.”
Simon then says: “Same with me! I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber.”
“The other day I found a wrench under the bed and that wasn’t mine.”
“That’s all three of us then,” says Paddy: “I think my wife is having an affair with a horse.”
Bill and Simon look at him with utter disbelief.
“No, I’m serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed.”
Child – “Can I have one child ticket please”
Conductor – ” How old are you?”
Child – “I’m 16″
Conductor – “I’m afraid you need to get an adult ticket”
Child – “Can I have a beer then?”
Conductor – “No”
Child – “Well fuck you, I’ll have a child ticket then”
Child walks in the bathroom and see’s his mother naked .
What is that he shout’s pointing between her legs
Err its where your dad hit me with an axe !
He say’s Good shot right in the c*nt !
Guido, can we have something climate-related so we can demonstrate our credentials as Climate Change Deniers? Thanks!
Trading tip : sell Soylent Green.
You’re so horrible. All of you. You make me want to cry! Why did you have to do it?Just coz we wanted to reinforce our bullshit socialist poverty trap on the developing world? Does that really make me a bad person? Just coz we wanted to feather our pseudo-academic nests with money extracted from just about every nightmare source imaginable. So what that we’re stealing taxpayer’s money and spending it on inefficient useless bollocks that keeps you poor!? So what that my ivory tower is built using the bones of African children who will die because of my absurd nonsense that will totally fuck their countries!?
Here you go
350.org.
Stripping totty financed by the Rockerfellers
http://www.openureyes.org.nz/blog/?q=node/2335
climate change denial = holocaust denial
Please, Guido, please – anything to counteract the tsunami of pure bollox emanating from Nohopenhagen.
Climate Change Denier, how can you take such a ludicrous stance? Just look at the list of eminent proponents of Man made Climate Change:
The Tooth Fairy
Jack Plug
Joe Soap
Spring Heeled Jack
Thumbelina
Nosferatu
Rumpelstiltskin
Big Foot
The Loch Ness Monster
Captain Hook
Ed Miliband
Gordon Brown
I bet you feel foolish now!
I’m happy. Just like cheering when the Titanic hit that ice berg. It got a bit cold after that but at least we had a party.
Guido is a Hoon.
I am glad you are not discriminating against the pikeys despite their fondness for recreational buggery and jealous outbursts against the superior Scots. Well done tat.
*
*
*
*
DORMAT
Ipso Fhaqktsew In Ypswytch Says D*ORMAT
MAT
MATT
MATTE {BLAQK}
MATH MATTH MATT~HEW
MATTHUGHSZ
MATTHEWSZ
MATTHEWS
MAY SUNSZ
KHARNHAYSHUNS
MARK
MARTHA
MARTA
MARTIN {BLHAQK}
MARTIN
MATIN
LATIN
*
LUKE
LHOOK
LU KAN
LOOKAN
MATTHEWS
MATTH
MATH E MATTEyKHUSS IN ATTyKAN
BLAQK FRYAR IN THE VATyKHAN
TAM D*OR
*
ASTA
*
*
*
*
INCH = INTCH \\\\ YNTSCH
INTCH ALLA AZIN
INTSCHi = INTSHE
YNTCH
CYNCH
WYNTCH
WHYTCH WYSCH WYTCH
YNT
INT
IN T
INT ALLE
IN*TALLAE
INTAEA
INYNQKHAEA
INANQKH
ANANQKH
AYHANQK
AN A BANGQKH
*
ASTA
I got bail.
Hahahahaha.
*
*
*
*
YU GHOT BAYLE
GHO GHET STUMP
C – S IN LATIN IN ROMA IN RHOME
CONCRETE = SONSRETE
GHET QKHONKRAETE
QKHONKRAETE STUMPSZ
QKRYKKHYT
*
ASTA
fuck shit Hoon piss wanker tosser arse.
nice wordchanger yer have there
fuck off monkey
Oh fuck. A real racist…. *runs away*
I can’t think of a caption. Except perhaps “Fuzzy Logic”.
That sounds a bit like a description of gordon doesn’t it?
I finished work at 12, and accidentally found myself in two pubs. I am now getting ready for the works Christmas do. Oh, bugger. Pished before I start.
Anyway, here’s a seasonal joke:
What do you call a blind Reindeer?
No idea!
Ha ha ha. Sorry. I’ll get me coat! :o)
Deer, oh deer….
In Gordon’s case, the logic is nearer ‘twisted’ than ‘fuzzy’.
To Engineer.
Don’t you think in Gorgons case it should be ladder logic about 60′ of it and he falls off the top.
Sounds good…
Hey, Nads and Yvette: I told you both to lay off the Red Bull.
http://fxbites.blogspot.com/
http://www.chilterndebtmanagement.co.uk/2009/12/prime-minister-gordon-brown-wishes-terry-wogan-farewell-after-27-years-on-bbc-radio-2/
I see gordon’s most important job of the day today was to send terry wogan best wishes for the future as he retires from radio2. I do hope wogan doesn’t now find himself hamstrung with the jonah curse.
I thought wogan’s joke to his listeners that ” a part of you is very glad to see the back of me” would make a very appropriate footnote to gordon’s political career when it finally crashes to earth in 2010.
OK modded twice I give up. But I hope, guido, you are going to use this item somewhere tomorrow – if so I’ll forgive the modding!
Give us a clue to this ‘item’…….if you whisper, Fawkes wont hear you.
terry wogan
you won’t believe this – I tried – he modded me!!!
Well TaT , I’m not technologically advanced like gordon.
I mean I don’t understand his spend spend spend theory when we’re already billions into debt!!
My dilemma is what button to push when we’re in a hole that big!!
Should I hit the esc key or maybe the pause/break key. Will any one of them get rid of the bad dream called gordon!!!!
STOP PRESS
Terry Wogan in crash on the M4
What a contrast between the self-effacing, non-ego of Wogan with the puffed-up, arrogant ’saving the world’ crap from McIdiot. Marks out of 100? Wogan 120, McIdiot -120.
Oh dear as obama signals copehagen has give us “common purpose” , many must be staring into there drinks , singing to pogues and wondering how january will look .Gov borrowing for nov was £20bn its funny how borrowing has replaced growth as the buzz word of new labour ecnomic policy .
there are some things to look forward to next year , the ruin trying to bore/hypnotise us into believeing he was right , the vat increase and blair trying to explain the reasons for war are in the mysteries of his personal pine cone.
It is very unfortunate watching our futures getting flushed cerimonially down the toilet , in regular socialist EUSSR ode to joy. the jackboot of labour can and must be defeated , its continuation will only make the UK into more of a basket case . Dont get down hearted only 5 months to go before we get the plundered and ravaged Uk back into better hands .
Capitalisation – 4 out of 10.
Spelling – 2 out of 10
Punctuation – 1 out of 10.
Must try harder CS, you lazy bastard.
He/she reckons in 5 months we’ll be in better hands. Not sure whose, but it will be better, won’t it? Can’t be any worse – spelling etc. aside. Durr.. not Camperhoon! DOH!
patrick would happily put his wee wee in Nadines hoo hoo. And shake it about a bit.
I’ve heard there is plenty room.
Btw Fawkes, surely you own software to make a better caption than that.
I am the laudanum of the manse. Share my visions….
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/man-guilty-of-attempting-to-have-sex-with-rottweiler-1844131.html
Was he trying to do it “Doggie”
Or He Was Only Trying To Give The Dog A Bone !
And It must have been a breath of fresh air after years of fucking sheep !
Variety Is The Spice Of Life !
http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2009/dec/18/gordon-brown-plan-b-copenhagen
copenhagan is falling apart at the seams but don’t worry folks !!!
gordon has a plan b to save the world on this, his fiftieth day ( 50 days to save the world) . Of course, if he fails, we shall all drown in rising seas, be struck down by monstrous hurricanes or annihilated by droughts of biblical proportions.
I notice mandy is still missing – perhaps he has made a conscious decision to avoid the debacle and emotive language of copenhagan.
Toenails is also missing with no blog postings all week ?
Toenails and mandy hmmmmm!!
Interesting combination!!
Are they holed up together?
Perhaps they are on someones yacht !!!!
Where is our Clint Eastwood? When will the tall, laconic stranger ride into town, and gun down the corrupt sheriff and mayor? The bank manager is about to ride out on the noon stage, clutching his valisse containing the cowboys payroll, and Harriet, the saloon whore, has confiscated the mens weapons. “Doc” Donaldson, the disgraced sawbones from back east, tried to close down the saloon, but has been pistol whipped by the Clantons after his prediction that pigfarmer fever would sweep the territory, led to a stampede that almost flattened the cathouse. Mayor Brown is busy selling off the towns water rights to the commanche’s, and Sheriff Straw’s lynch mob are sleeping off another necktie party. If only we could rely on the cavalry, but they’re busy chasing renegades up in the badlands, and under the command of Leftenant Colonel George Armstrong Ainsworth, are pinning their hopes on a charge at the Little Big Horn, figuring to chase Chief Sitting inKabul back to the reservation.
So we’ll just a rest here on the porch, waiting for a lean, mean sonofabitch to make this town safe for decent folk.
He’s you, he’s me, he’s Guido, he’s TaT and ever other commentator here.
Do you think they don’t read this blog? Do you think they don’t know when Guido can pull over a thousand comments of vitriol and abuse on one single post?
Just being here and reading this stuff is the first step. The second step is to get your own blog. It costs nothing. The third step is to start trawling through the rubbish the 646 produce and pulling out the gems.
Pretty soon, thousands of us will be not just taking steps but running. Try and stop us.
646 of them. 61,000,000 of us.
Ready to riot O-H , ready to riot.
Call the day.
Actually, the first step OH, is for everyone to stop paying for nulab’s propaganda wing, aka the bbc. And tell everyone else why you’ve done so.
er, isn’t that Nick Clegg or do you mean Peter Mandelson?
The Outlaw Josey Mandelson
Two Gun Nick From Cleggville
The Good,The Bad,The Ugly …..er that’s Cameron,Brown and Brown
Cameron, Mangledbum and Brown
Gordon’s Plan In Nohopenhagen
Is To tax the many
To line the pockets of the few !
This Cu*t Is Now An Embarrassment To The Whole Fucking World
An Irish brickie goes for a job on a building site. The Foreman, recently sent on a diversity course tactfully asks him his name. That’s Shorn Murphy to be sure, answers the brickie. Not wanting to challenge his spelling skills the foreman answers – Is that Sean as in Connery or as in Shawn the Sheep.
After thinking for a moment the bickie answers angrily – Yur troying to insult me aren’t yea?!
How on earth could you be led into thinking I would stoop to such a low deed answers the Foreman. Oi’ll have yer know Oi’m 100% honest!! – the very suggestion that Oi’m mixed up in any connery!
The hype, the emotion, the polar bears…..
Obama has realized that America’s interests are not well served by acceding to a populist crusade which would mean the end of the western world’s economy..
China was never going to be shackled by a theory.
Happiness is a full belly and not polar bears.
Reality has taken over.
If, and that is a big IF, climatic conditions worsen then measures can be taken where and when the problem arises.
The sense of ‘disappointment’ of the unelected pressure groups makes my heart bleed.
From the Guardian:
“Tim Jones, a spokesman for the World Development Movement, said: “The president said he came to act, but showed little evidence of doing so. He showed no awareness of the inequality and injustice of climate change. If America has really made its choice, it is a choice that condemns hundreds of millions of people to climate change disaster.”
Friends of the Earth said in a statement, “Obama has deeply disappointed not only those listening to his speech at the UN talks, he has disappointed the whole world.”
The World Wildlife Fund said Obama had let down the international community by failing to commit to pushing for action in Congress: “The only way the world can be sure the US is standing behind its commitments is for the president to clearly state that climate change will be his next top legislative priority.”
…………………………………………………….
By all means try out new technologies and build more energy efficiency into cars , houses and processes. Competition in a free market should do that.
The Gordon Clown 42% CO2 reduction is just madness.
We shall be burning carbon for decades to come. There is no alternative.
Now now TaT calm down not everyone has your condensing skills.
Love Cassie x
Good post!
AA-REEERRKK!! KRIPPLESPASTIC!! KRIPPLESPASTIC!!! (nod) (ting) BORING!!! (tweetle)
I think Gordon and Ed got carried away. They are so wrapped up in renewable targets, that are aimed at just electricity, they did not realise they were talking about ALL energy.
At present we have 1.8% renewables and 8% nuclear. Going for 40% reduction would mean electric trucks and 5 new nuclear power stations a year.
But you would not be able to make them from concrete or steel. Those industries would be shut down.
Tad inconvenient.
Back to roads made with old stones from the quarries – these must be the guaranteed jobs Brown is “promising” (surely a dichotomy!) for the 17 to 24 yr olds;
bloody roadbuilding!
Worked for the other famous Socialist. Mr Hilter. No speed limit in open country and fine weather either.
Did anyone else hear that climate change fanatic from “The Independent( my arse) “on the Jeremy Vine show today?
The usual tactics clearly in evidence ie making sweeping statements which if you say them often enough magically become true such as ” There is now an overwhelming consensus of scientists who all agree etc etc ”
When asked to comment about Scientists who dont actually agree with this “consensus” he replied well of course there are some BAD scientists. Yep thats right if you dont agree then you are clearly a BAD scientist and crazy.
I also detect an almost hysterical tone to his rant. Not challenged very well by Vine it has to be said.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00pbsq8/Jeremy_Vine_18_12_2009/
fun begins at 9:35 in to the broadcast
I had the misfortune to be looking at the lunctime news when Joan Ruddock (who is, believe it or not, a minister) was sounding off. I hope someone can explain to her that Gordo McBust, our idiotic and puffed-up PM, is most definitely not a ‘head of state’ and, mercifully, never will be. Such a comment is deeply offensive and I don’t suppose Her Maj was particularly thrilled either.
If they can’t get something as basic as this right then what chance their wild rantings about man-made global warming??
Deliberate error think you will find.
These Liebour scum misspeak all the time, its part of flying the next kite in undermining the settled constitution.
Gramsci at its most evil is Madame “Marxist sh*tbag” Ruddock.
There is an overwhelming consenus that nu Labour are good for the UK. Of course there are some cranks out there.
Dont know about the climate but Vivian Westwood is clearly out of control
Not again.
Are the pikeys still getting hot flushes over the superiority of the Scots ?
The fucking dangerous mental defective Brown is trying to cobble together a bodge job agreement WITHOUT the Chinese! The fucking fruitcake moron forgets that China is the biggest emitter of carbon dioxide in the world and its emissions are growing fast, any economy killing cuts without the chinks on board will result in jobs and wealth flowing faster than ever to China.
Is the ego maniac so desperate for some ’save the world’ stardust? Still at least honest Dave fully supports McMental.
The curse of the Jonah strikes terror into all that comes into contact with him, he is the latter day typhoid Mary and should be locked away on a leper colony.
But China has said it will cut emissions! But you’re not allowed to check to see if they have.
Cassandra
never inturrupt your enemy when he’s making a mistake.
Hook line and soon sinker…think about it. All is not what it seems
I am worried as to what he is going to sign us up for. All the other governments that aren’t dictatorships have to get approval, but Brown thinks he can do whatever he likes to try and get his name in the history books.
Fucking weired aint it? the only unelected leader amongst Mugabe, Chavez, Ahmadinejad and the rest, is Our own Gordon Brown
Cassandra.
Most of the developed world has shipped its manufacturing off shore to China over the last ten years…Why the fuck should the Chinks be taxed for making the widgets that we have contracted them to make for us?
My nan always said be nice to people on the way up because you’ll probably meet them again on the way down.
Gordon would do well to take note of that.
Quite. What a cnut the snotgobbler is. This is where Afghanistan comes in… Love your posts CK.
PM: 1800 – Tough talks continue. Small minority holding out against consensus
http://twitter.com/DowningStreet/statuses/6802318113
Err Gordon the Chinese are NOT a minority…Jockland is a Minority
To Gordon Tweet.
OT but heard that Gorgon has sent Terry Wogan a message wishing his well for his retirement,so thats Tel in shite then.
Fuck off Brown you loser – we are not interested in you – you are finished anyway so go and have a car crash somewhere.
where as the pikeys are em……
Someone please shoot Gordon Brown in the head.
I prefer him to die a very slow death,picked to pieces bit by bit,by a tribe of African women in a mud hut – then we won’t have to listen to his screams.
But what would that achieve ? There clearly isn’t any grey matter in there, only stinking brown matter.
Guido must have found this one in skid and marks bin !
Ha Ha Ha Kirkbride Will not Stand At The Next Ge (Sky) Why? It would have made it worth watching the results !
Irishman goes for a job ona building site
foreman says can you brew tea ?
to be sure to be sure yes sir i can !
well can you drive a stacker truck he say’s ?
Fucking hell say’s paddy , how big’s the fucking tea pot ?
In order to bring about the destruction of all collective forces except ours, we shall disable the first stage of collectivism – the universities, by reeducating them in a new direction.
Their officials and professors will be prepared for their business by detailed secret programs of action from which they will not be allowed to diverge, not by one iota.
They will be appointed with particular precaution, and will be placed so as to be
wholly dependent upon the government.
It is very cold in my caravan
Chuck some more Africans on the fire
Old Holborn NOT Africans!!
gordon. yvette. sionsimon, twatson, aintbustingut,straw, hain, balls, and the rest!!!……
is that your final solution too Old Holborn?
probably not but it would help and there’s no shortage.
“US official confirms the leaders have agreed to allow for a 2C temperature rise in global temperatures”
So the world has been going for millions and millions of years and these twats reckon they can control the temperature by 2C?
Is there a radiator valve buried somewhere that we don’t know about?
This Copenhagen farce is crazy – they fly in,drive to the centre,eat expensive food and then fly out again.
Total bollocks – Brown calls anyone who does agree with his twisted outlook that they are arseholes.
Brown – prepare for the rest of your life to be spent as a total nothing in a world where you are the most hated piece of excrement.
http://conservativehome.blogs.com/leftwatch/2009/12/the-best-brown-videos-of-2009.html
Fawkes’ ouija board craps out.
No more hot tips. Just ectoplasm.
Just suppose,that in those silent,empty hours,when the world around you sleeps,a restless figure awakens in a start.A rush,that apparently we suffer when our heart misses a beat,passes through the racing mind,as the realisation that the scene of horror that you have just endured,was only the product of a bad dream.
The vividness of your whitened knuckles gripping the rail of the dock,as the five judges slowly and deliberately don the black caps,squeezing every second of the coming doom,being masters of the stage that they are,just as you once were,and establishing that eye contact,that lets you know that God has averted his gaze.
Your sweat soaked torso has dampened the sheets,and the crumpled pillow attests to the frustration at the injustice,and the absurdity,of a murder trial where a bringer of peace stands accused of delivering violence.
Cherie reaches across,and her cool,soothing hand gently rests on your glistening chest.She murmers drowsily “Go back to sleep Tony darling.It’s just a dream”
It’s over.Until tomorrow night.Or the night after.But it will return.
Wow!! They’re pretty amazing aren’t they??
The copenhagenars have agreed they are going to stop the planet warming by more than 2 degrees celsium and gordon is going to stop the seas rising beyond their current level.
Obviously he thinks he’s King Canute!! Bless!!
I suggest gordon that you stand on Scarborough’s North Bay as the winter tides come and tell them that you expect them to turn back!!
If he succeeds – please daily telegragh tell me about it. It won’t happen!!!
Gordon thinks he’s a Cnut. Most dyslexics would be inclined to agree.
The new plan is to talk about temperature not emisssions.
That way the sensible politicians, (an oxymoron, I know) can base policy on what is actually happening to the climate, (if there are any scientists left free to speak, able to be heard and competent.).
So they will see falling temperatures and claim credit for it, on the basis of their limited actions.
GB will claim that the falling temperatures are entirely down to his actions and that he has saved the world.
Having been found out trying to fiddle the figures on a grand scale. Understanding that the trend is towards cooling, they have presented a political Gift Horse for all the leading politicians in the Democratic World. In the Non Democratic World they will only be interested in cashflow.
They, and in particular Brown was hoping for a hugely publicised consensus, immediate action and a quick release of the ‘New Data’ to show how well he had done after Kyoto, and then CO15.
Total posturing by a control freak who is still more Mr Bean than Joe Stalin.
A thought for tonight.
Don’T forget our troops in Afghsanistan!!!
Agreed. Another trooper gives his life for a corrupt Narco Government. And only to protect a non Russian controlled oil pipeline. The rest is just flim flam.
PM: 1045 – it has been an exhausting day, but we are almost there
http://twitter.com/DowningStreet/statuses/6809684240
Who is going to rell Gordon that he is wrong?
Our time has come.
Hi Mr Fawkes
Merry christmas to you and your family and all the readers of this blog
Ricki
Hi Ricki
And same to you and yours. Have a lovely one :-)
Anon
Does Parliament vote for any of this or does McTwatt just do what he fucking well likes?
I do WHO I fucking well like.
The worst outcome this country could possibly suffer at the next election is a hung parliament. That way lies the downgrading of the UK’s credit rating, and decades of misery – no better than a fourth term of Labour.
A hung parliament would finish off UK PLC permanently.
Yes, a hung parliament would be a just about the worst result this country could suffer. Vote for the government, or against it. Besides, anything else would be a wasted vote – even the Lib Dems are going to get squeezed this time.
Switch from Paraffin TaT. It is seriously affecting your life. Why not buy a Super Ser. Or are the bottles to heavy to lug up the stairs?
CAN SOMEONE WARM THIS GLOBE UP A BIT ? I’M FUCKING FREEZING !
Brown on Sky News apparently is the only leader who is abeat during the interview with Boulton at 0012am stated and I quote
“I brought the nations together”
then
“I got the ricH nations to talk to the poor nations” he then rounded off the interview with
“The carbon economy will create at least half a million jobs”
Dis he ever manage to create the last half a million jobss he mentioned months ago? The man is a certifiable fruitloop and I am now truly scared of what the mental retard can yet do to this country.
i liked the first bit
He’s probably underestimated the number of jobs that will be created. Let’s face it, there’s going to be a huge demand for wheels hewn out of stone.
“I brought the nations together” – fruitcake Brown. Indeed.
So now we have the answer to the question a worthy other asked in ages past:
“Why do the nations so furiously rage together”
When you’re handing out free money, it’s surprising how many nations you can get together.
The Marxist scum in power are really in ‘Smash the West’ mode.
Just hope we haven’t paid for all the delegates to travel, their hotels, food and subsistence, and entertainment.
He wouldn’t just throw our money away like that, would he?
Oh shit! That is why he is making this outrageous claim. We have fucking well paid for it. Bastard.
ruin /adam boulton interview was classic “theyve all jetted off home dont you think it has failed ” que ruin face lying like a good un !
£130mn 40 tonnes of CO2 wroy hattersly/kinnocks event .
even major conferences can be jonahed , the chronicles of the ruin begin to outline his last chapter , as the crappest Labour PM ever , good job wogan didnt do handshake
Guido , you do know your nemesis will come from those you hold dear, dont you ? Is always been the way of things, you understand.
Did Obama save the world ? Did he fuck. Did Gordon, Did he fuck. They are only men like your siblings and friends. Stop worshiping them !!!
My chum President Omaha says the world is running out of time.
No problem, I told him, we’ll just make more clocks.
Job done, world saved.
For my next delusion …..
Does gordon really believe any of the pure horse shit that spews from that hole in his face?.
Low carbon jobs…hahahahahahahaha
low IQ government mebbee
I spose he has lowered credibility to an all time low and fuckwittery to an all time high.
He really is a desperate bastard isn’t he? Fuck knows what’s going on in his noggin, it sho’ ain’t a pretty sight in there I’m prepared to wager.
He’s communicating with his voter base, the lowest common denominator of imports from the wild and savage places on earth.
why does Yvette (what a wretched name, rather like being called settee, or calling lunch dinner) look like a bloke?
If I have 7 apples in one hand and 8 in the other what do I have?
Some seriously fucked up hands
I like to have sex with Liberal Democrats.
They never come first.
It’s three in a row for the joker known as David Cameron
Being unemployed, I’ve gone and stuck my savings into a snowplough.
Well, I’d heard there’s no business like snow business
Mr Fawkes, please make the badness stop.
So the Global warming delegates are hit by the Cold weather.
The yanks had to rush home early because of a Big Blizzard aboiut to hit the states.
The Brits can’t come home by train because the Eurostar is Frozen
The French are having to wade thru knee deep snow
Copenhagen is having its first white Chritmas in 14 years.
I think we can conclude that Global warming has been tamed.
And Jonah well and truly jinxed Copenhagen….his legacy is in tatters
Gordon Brown said negotiators had 50 days to save the world from global warming
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8313672.stm
I wonder how Gordon is going to spin this one.
But that’s a Broon 50. So it’s really 25,000 without the bits he is not counting.
“Delegates at the Copenhagen summit have passed a motion recognising a US-backed agreement on climate change.”
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/8422133.stm
Not one word about Gordon saving the world, he must be furious! That has made my day.
CLIMATE NUT BROWN WILL RUIN BRITAIN
http://www.dailyexpress.co.uk/posts/view/146922
Oh no it isn’t and just wait until this week-ends opinion poll ratings
PM: 2400 – this is hard work and I haven’t got all I wanted. But it is a vital first step towards a greener future
http://twitter.com/DowningStreet/statuses/6811691863
Gord it goes 23:59 then 00:00
Nature 2 Climate Change Fuckwits 0
‘They think it’s all over…….’
Carbon Glacier has the greatest measured thickness (700 feet) and volume (0.2 cubic miles) of any glacier in the contiguous United States. It is best viewed via a 4-mile trail from Ipsut Creek Campground on the north side of Mount Rainier. The glacier has retreated less than 0.6 miles since the Little Ice Age. The glacier terminus is at a relatively low elevation and is surrounded by mature forest and shrubbery. During the advance of this heavily debris-laden glacier in the late 1970’s, visitors watched vegetation being crushed by rocks rolling off the advancing terminus. Currently, the Carbon Glacier terminus is undergoing a minor retreat.
http://www.mount.rainier.national-park.com/info.htm
Worth reading the whole unbiased report on Mount Raniers Glaciers…It is greatly at odd with Al Gore’s version of events…Seems that we came out of the little Ice age in 1850 and the greatest change in Glacier measurements occured between then and 1950…In the 70s, 80s the Glaciers grew then retreated a tad in the 90s and that retreat seems to now be over..The ice age cometh.
hilarious!
That’s why they changed the scam from Global Warming to Climate Change.
But just think of the financial benefits from committing suicide out of the Carbon trading scheme..suicide bombers will be the next BOOM sector as long as they do it in a renewable way.
For a barrel- load of laughs vote Conservative.
We are devoid of any policies but can tell gags all day long
I was advised not to drive yesterday because of the bad weather.
So I teed off with a 3 iron.
\\\\\\\ Gordon’s Debriefing with the Gruesome Controller //////
Head Dalek: What have you to say for your failure in CopenHaagen?
Gordon: I tried…. Boy! I tried! That man Omaha had other ideas. He shat on mine and talked only to the Takeaway Nations….
Head Dalek: You have failed us!!!!
Gordon: No! I did not fail. I merely deferred agreement till 2031…..
Head Dalek: You expect us to believe such a load of ScheisKrement?
Gordon: I implore you. Give me another chance to save the World.
Head Dalek: You are an enemey of the Daleks. You must be exterminated!!
Gordon: (flash of white light and some flash photography) Aaaaaaaaagghh!
Head Delek: What a miserable example of Earth Life! It will not be missed!!
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/copenhagen-climate-change-confe/6816696/Copenhagen-climate-conference-Nick-Griffin-calls-world-leaders-mass-murderers.html
Remind me again. Who’s the extremist?
Lord Monckton interviewed about being knocked unconscious at Climate Conference in Copenhagen
At leaast old Adolf managed a concensus
*
*
*
*
TOSH
TOSH
TOSH
TISH
TOSH
WOTSZITAWLABAOUWT KHRAOUWHT
*
ASTA
Nothing better and more satifying then giving some ermine clad toff a good old fashioned yuletide kicking. Merry Christmas your Lordship in future better to stay at the Palace of sleeze.
Thats my daddy in the front row!
Silly blind cow – that was Ed Balls!
Cool can you pop up you’re address so we can pop round and give you you’re happys cringle kicking !
Where is the mention of Whally?
http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/12/18/goodbye-copenhagen/?hp
anon,anon
http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/10/23/weekend-opinionator-are-americans-cooling-on-global-warming/
Another soldier killed in Afghanistan.
For what? For the vanity and malice of the political class who despise this country.
Are you up yet Guido?
This thread is worn out.
Just heard Brown on TV saying that after Copenhagen….
“I am going to lead the World,as I did on Finance,to negotiate a legally binding worldwide Treaty on Climate Change”
Please,somebody,tell me…are these not the words of an utterly deranged and deluded megalomaniac?
Any other person saying such things would be sectioned and locked away for eternity.
Meanwhile,another soldier dies in Afganistan because Brown says… “It’s the right thing to do”
I weep for this Country.
Mandy!! Where are you? Time to pull the plug.
Let me have a taste.
Get angry for this country. Urgent surgery is needed to cut the cancer out of the body politic.
Sorry we’re all at the Xmas Sales and then off to watch the final of “Strictly” ! Can you come back later ?
Leave him alone…Gordon always does the right thing and he never tells lies.
4 months and still breathing. Thank’s Gordon.
And a special thank you to East Renfrewshire Council for keeping check of my where abouts, I really look foreward to their monthly phone calls. I Love the British criminal system but in Libya we would never put the local council in charge of a mass murderer of the Libyan people
In all recent interviews Gordon has been saying ‘I’ and ‘me’ a lot, as if he is controlling everything.
“I am leading the….”, “other countries support ME” etc. This is all about Gordon, nothing to do with climate change. He wants to remembered in history as not the worst PM ever, but as the one who saved the world. Total twat.
402… When it all goes tits up it wil be “Us and We”
No it will be “those tories”
But Brown had the deal “sewn up” and had offered shed-oads of British Taxpayer’s monies and also offered to cut the UK emissions back to the equivalent of pre-Industrial Revolution days.
Howvere he is still determined that the UK will lead the World on this as it did “out of Recession” so expect as a first step that legislation will be passed making it obligatory that everyone using a motor vehicle must go no more than 5 miles in it and be preceded by a person carrying a red-flag( very neatly it also deals with youth unemployment too as this will get the 1 million “Neets” off benefits and into useful work. So that they can be recognised each one will be required to wear a T Shirt bearing the phrase “Gordon Brown -HE saved the planet for US the youth of the World !”)
As a born and bred. life long mindless Labour voter, I am glad there is someone with the stature of Gordon Brown batting for Britain on the world stage.
What a shame Gordon hired a private jet to get home, he should have practiced what he preached and taken the train. Oh to see him stuck in the tunnel because of Global Cooling.
Rather to see the piece of dog excrement 6 feet under,permanently and we can all get on with recovering from his curse.
The spokeswoman for Eurostar gave the reason as that during the excessive cold the train parts cool down well below freezingetc and then when it enters the Channel Tunnel and meets warm moist air – condensation build up on the elctrical parts and cause a short in the electrics which stops the train from working !!! Good job they don’t have that problem in Switzerland !!
No one could have possibly predicted that the air in an undersea tunnel might be damp.
I think your criticism is most unfair.
So it was the wrong type of air?
Wrong kind of damp.
wrong kind of train more like.
Wrong kind of tunnel.
We should have linked up with Peru. Much more exciting. WTF chose France?
Wrong direction for a Tunnel.
Wrong kind of tunnel..England to France
He has had plenty stuck in his tunnel so why not.
shouldn’t that be Bottling for Britain?
On Friday 27th of November the met office issued this forecast for the winter
For northern Europe, including the UK, there is a 20% chance of a colder winter, a 30% chance of an average winter and a 50% chance of a milder winter.
http://www.metoffice.gov.uk/weather/seasonal/2009/winter/
If they can’t get it right just 25 days out, how the fuck can they forecast a century 36,500 days out ?
I painted my House White after the urgent advice from the Met Service.
Can I find the fucker right now? Can I fuck. Mild winter my Arse. Told you it would be cold and bitter.
How did they do that when the Gulf Stream etc. water is clearly 1.0C colder than the average for the last 10 years.
I think they have forgotten what weather forecasting is, and are just taking bets.
Next we will see a derivative market based on London’s temperature. Or do we have it already with gas pricing?
For example, we have a snow storm coming down the country. I have looked at the Met office warnings 3 times today. Initially they had no snow. Then they had warnings for the borders. Now they have warnings for the whole area. So their prediction was only valid after Scotland’s had already suffered and the radar had it clearly pictured.
That is reporting not forecasting.
Why is the Tax payer funded Met office laying on bets?
How Wikipedia’s green doctor rewrote 5,428 climate articles
http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/fpcomment/archive/2009/12/18/lawrence-solomon-wikipedia-s-climate-doctor.aspx
Global Warming……bollocks !!
Lol
393 Global Warming …Bollocks . The Sun Have got to use this headline.
12 years and what have Labour done for us? …….. bugger all !!
What have Labour done for themselves?……filled their bank accounts !!
and bank’s own accounts!! Shame the Scot are not independant, then the majority in the uk (england) wouldn’t have had to bail out RSB
When you’re in the business of nation wrecking, global warming makes perfect sense.
Mr. Fawkes, This thread is minutes off being 24 hours old. Change it soon or we are withdrawing our annoying banner ad.
TS
What do you care the posters have been having a picnic all through the cycle anyway with or without any fresh input from the gunpowder king , so your annoying banner has been ignored as it always is.
Merry Christmas bogoff.
Free speech with no modding!
Luvverly Jubbly!
Is it true that Santa has fathered a number of secret Love children, you know the Hidden Clauses ?
” If you go down on the Woods today you’re sure of a big…..”
Surely Nostradamus and The Bible must have forwarned us of the pending catastrophe.
Still looking.
This one beggars belief a Road transport CCTV camera used incorrectly
If you don’t like CCTV cameras then you will hate them after this. So who is watching you at the moment??
http://www.utterzebu.com/blog/2009/12/19/an-image-too-far/
The transport for London camera was focused on the double bed in someone’s bedroom and broadcasting the image.
What sort of accident were they hoping to prevent?
Guido, you’ve left this baby unattended for over 24 hours now. Social Services and the Met are on the way.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/onthefrontline/6843380/Afghanistan-British-soldier-killed-in-Helmand-explosion.html
Happy fucking christmas Brown you total deceiving scumbag
I doubt that The Great Leader and his War Cabinet give a toss or even a second thought as to the grief they have caused or for the families affected by this odious conflict !!
They will be partying and enjoying a get together at Chequers with their pals and celebs…… all at our expense !!
I also would be certain that the NuLabour Marxists will not give one thought to the valour, suffering and daily loss of life in the Military.
Personally, after his rip-roaring succes in Copenhagen where he actually (instead of going back to his hotel room) went back into the conference at 4am to make a statement, I am going, RIGHT NOW, to sign up to Ed Milliband’s website petition. I dont live in Doncaster but its so damned important that Ed talks tough. Ed means business….he is the man for the moment
http://www.edmilibandmp.com/cc-petition
You know, he even took his tie off. Thats how determined he is.
They’ll be sticking them signs up next like wot they ‘ad in Sheffield in the ‘80;s
“You are now entering a nucleur-free zone !” Trouble is nobody told the Russki’s Perhaps Ed ought to suggest something like the Eden Project and start a collection to place Doncaster in its own series of bio- domes!
Quote of the day:
Gorgon says ” We have assessed the train and have decided to fly”
NEW THREAD!!! NEW THREAD!!!! SHOW US A NEW THREAD!!!!
Oh err sorry ve all make ze mistake Huh
PAPERS!!! PAPERS!!! SHOW ME YOUR PAPERS!!!!
Hope Guido’s not stuck up his tunnel!
There’s room for one more on top.
Was Mr B. Liar extracting the urine when the Dream Team included Mr J. (vomiting) Prescott?……..
Let’s face it that mupet Cameron doesn’t have a clue. He is hopeless and useless and I really am a Tory.
He and the majority of the party I support are shameful.
Bloody good job it wasn’t Dave representing the UK at Copenhagen, He would have thrown our Kitchen sink in too.
He’d have a job Brown has already thrown in everything in his desperation to be hailed “Global Climate Saviour” AND also so he didn’t hesitate to offer to sell the British people into slavery until 2040 and immediately close down all our industry (oh no silly me he’s already done that one saving the Global Economy )
Apropos Dave -He would have probably turned up with a team of “Huskies” on his “bike”
All three major parties are talking rubbish on the subject without exception
The only thing blue about you is your knob after an evening of relentless flashing.
mighty & superior by conflict.
Mighty and Superior we’re the rulers you’re the ruled.
We say the grass is greener on the other side,but you can’t see that of course
We represent the nation it’s our people we put first
We even bail out thirld world countries, it’s OUR Investment they DESERVE IT
Simply forcing the back the Russians with peace missiles built for trust
Screwing woth the Yankees – Law and Order Is our must
Sick and fucking tired of their collaborations
Forwarding the clock to our extermination
Get a one-way seat to destruction
Their choice – our must – to rise with the mushroom
Hail to the mushroom – the total combustion. The realization of annihilation
Poseidon’s answer, the Trident blunders, Your choice – our must – to die
But you’re wrong. Mighty and invincible as they boil the seas for power
Recruiting armies on the land to protect the state that cowers
From the Russkies – from the dollar. One’s Investment, One, our enemy
These peole why can’t they love. Human feelings, don’t they matter?
Much rather they would rule, building castles and tycoons
A crust out to the third world, sending rockets to the moon
Making missiles, tanks and bombs, nuclear power for our homos
Raising hell up from the mines, to the last humans sacrifice…
Well, if you think all’s well and strong
There’s a movement that’s uprising, If you think we can take that
You’ve got one hell of a shock coming
You might just have pushed too far – you’re superior to nithing
The UNGOVERNABLE force Is gonna drag you out of hiding
You think you’ve got us beaten. You make one slip and you’ll know it
We’re watching every move you make, as you are us! – FORGET IT
For once we take an inch you just watch us take the mile
Your servants have turned their backs on you, now the world starts to smile!!!
Mighty and superior you are the rulers, we’re the ruled
You said the grass was greener on the other side,but we couldn’t see!of course
You represent your people, It’s your own kind you put first
You bail out third world countries, YOUR Investment to preserve
Forcing back the Russians with peace missiles built for ???
America to be hit by “historic and dangerous Snowstorm”
http://www.weather.com/newscenter/stormwatch/?from=hp_news
This is why the US delegates left the Gloabal warming meeting early.
I here obama’s off to Hawaii
Gone to get his actual Birth Certificate that he has spent $2mUS keeping from prying eyes.
Gloabal warming reversed!
Copenhagen an outstanding success!
Mankind is saved!
Now all Brown has to do is make Eurostar run when its cold and he’s done it all in less than 6 days*(even God couldn’t manage that one)
* AND before you ask HE rested on the 7th Day of course
Yes the ridiculous statement by some British official blaming it on hot air in the tunnel has been corrected by the French side who say they are investigating an anomaly and that “each year there are snow storms at this time and hot air in the tunnel, our Eurostar trains are designed to cope with these things”
The Brit mutts have got so used to hearing rubbish from government nannies and health ‘n safety nazis that they trot out similar tosh without even putting brain into gear.
The infantile travelling public takes it all meekly.
but god wasn’t a jock one eyed mong was she?
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Gore+Effect
By the way, I am sure this has been pointed out elswhere, but poor Sir Terry’s new sunday show is bound to bomb when it airs next year.
It has been given the kiss of death, after the glowing tribute to Sir Tel by Jonah on yesterday’s Radio 2 news during the togmiester’s final breakfast programme.
Is Manglebums in Morocco or with one of his Russian Oilygarks or something, he has been sooooo quite of late!
You Mean Russian Oily Arse ?
I said to the wife last night, “I hate christmas telly. If I have to watch fucking Oliver one more fucking time I’m going to fucking shoot myself.”
“Well” she said, “Turn to BBC and you won’t have to watch the Sainsbury’s advert.”
That is seriously shite.
Has Guido been kidnapped by an elite team of Belles from CCHQ seeking Christmas revelries? Or detained by the Bunker Control Snatch Squad? Or (worse, much worse..) been forced to accompany Mrs F. on a Christmas shopping mission?
He’s had a few sherberts, and gone motoring.
I know what my wife’s getting for christmas.
A black eye if she seriously thinks i’m cooking dinner
Gordon is going to get me another turkey baster for Christmas.
Thank fuck for that, I don’t have to see his ugly mug looming over me.
Sarah do it doggy at least you can watch corrie on the telly for a couple mins.
FFS! He’s half blind. He might pot the brown when going for pink.
What’s up Guido?
Anti-Terrorism Laws ( How’s Paddington Green? ) or just a raging hangover?????
you’re boring me mr sausage.
What do you call white men in London.
Endangered species.
“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas,
Just like the ones we used to know…..”
If a woman ever objects to you wanking
Tell her to move further down the bus!!
A Guy Goes to the doctors the doctor says you must stop wanking the guy says why ? because your upsetting all the other patients !
Bail i tell you……………hahahaha!!
1. And Mose and MincingBum, being driven away from the habitations of all normal, decent, civilised people, continued to wander in that desolate place called desert: And the desert was calléd Just.
2. And they were benders : and kneweth not whether they cometh or goeth.
3. And MincyBotty repeateth again unto Mose, that which he had said in an earlier time, namely : I Smellingsomewhat do say unto Thee, that Thou art surely The One to bring the Sheeple out of the time of desolation that Thou has heretofor cast them in.
4. And they, being weak in mind and spirit will call thee The One. And take thee back, and thy servant MangleBum also.
5. For I am minded that if Thou art cast into utter darkness, then I must for another fool, look.
6. And Mose, being vain and privily counteth himself an wonder, pondered this in his heart. And openeth his mouth, and spake, saying.
7. It is true that I am he that only am able to deliver the sheeple. And all should worship me as being he that is gifted and discerning. For I am vain and self-righteous even unto the uttermost. And of my self, I fancy it more than somewhat.
8. Let us now go even unto that land of people, whom we, in our vanity and grasping mendacity have helpéd and made famous. And say unto such an one and all, give us of thy plenty. For we have given thee spoils and lucre in plenty, even that which is calléd filthy.
9. And they found the land of filthy lucre, and the people in it. And said unto the people, give us that portion which we deserve.
10. And the people, as of one accord, rent their garments, saying one to another : looketh at that which has turnéd up. And took stones, and rocks, and clubs, and cudgels, and drove Mose and NancingBoy out of their land.
I do hope someone has told Harry Pearce that Guido is MIA
The Conservative Party have sacked Dave Cameron as leader and have named Ken Clarke as his successor.
No surprise to me at all
You-a Ingleesh make-a the funny joke-a with-a poor Silvee.
Well I-a got-a news-a for you.
We still have-a your Princess Polytwaddle, and we-a demand-a millions of lire for-a her-a release-a.
There!
That-a has-a taken the smile off-a your-a faces. Eh – Ingleesh?
‘ere, Guido.
Rumour over at Dale’s is that you’re in Paddington Green.
Rumour over at Paddington Green is that Dale is in Gareth Thomas.
PM: 2400 – this is hard work and I haven’t got all I wanted. But it is a vital first step towards a greener future
about 20 hours ago from mobile web PM: 1045 – it has been an exhausting day, but we are almost there
about 22 hours ago from mobile web PM: 1800 – Tough talks continue. Small minority holding out against consensus #COP15
9:19 AM Dec 18th from mobile web PM: have broken into small groups to try to break logjam #COP15
4:45 AM Dec 18th from
Are these with wittering of a teenage girl?
Not at all. They are the witterings of an highly medicated teenage girl.
GUIDO (0/10) For This The Worst caption comp ever !
As yet not one caption
you must try harder !
Go to the back of the class and sit in the corner
Face the wall with hands on head !
He laid her on the table, so white, so clean, so bare.
His forehead wet with beads of sweat, he rubbed her here and there.
He touched her neck, felt her breast, then drooling felt her thigh.
The slit was wet, and all was set, he gave a joyous cry.
The hole was wide, he looked inside, all was dark and murky.
He rubbed his hands and stretched his arms…..
And then stuffed the turkey!
GOBBLE! GOBBLE!
The Truth is Out: British Army Being Used as Capitalists’ Mercinaries to Secure Profit: http://eotp.wordpress.com/2009/12/19/the-truth-is-out-british-army-being-used-as-capitalists-mercinaries-to-secure-profit/
How much longer is the British Army going to tolerate this from THEIR REAL ENEMIES?
Theirs is not to reason why, theirs is but to do or die.
As much as joining the Army is an honourable deed, one has to wonder at the mindset of the troops out in the field. If you don’t believe in Brown’s assertions that they are keeping us safe here in Blighty whilst bringing democracy to Afghans, why would you put your arse on the line? Soldiers, we are told, must not express political opinions, but does that mean it’s okay to kill providing you were only following orders blindly? Does fighting for a regime that permits torture, corruption and electoral fraud justify shooting without concience? And that’s just ours, let alone Afghanistan.
Perhaps some of those armed forces should think twice before getting on the plane to Helmond. At least the poor bastards at the Somme were ignorant of the reality, being fed the jingoistic shit that passes for patriotism, but the modern soldier knows the truth and yet still enters the fray. While feeling sympathy for the killed and maimed that return, do they really think the sacrifice is a price worth paying?
they don’t most of the guys have an ativistic deluded sense that thre is in a real sense a country to defend. They implicitly believe authority must be right and are honourable and loyal men and women. The tragedy is that they are used.
So my wife walked into the bedroom last night and said “Tonight im gonna make u the happiest man alive.” to which i replied “Dont fuck about, whos going to help you clean my car at this time of night??!!”
To which you replied “where will you go !”
Speaker: Order order. Questions to the prime minister.
Brown: This morning i had ministerial meetings,and this afternoon,i shall be visiting a newstart pilot initative in Liverpool,giving young people training in vital new skills needed for the dynamic,thrusting,economy of Britain,ready to take on the challenges of the global market we lead. New Labour. Real jobs for the next generation. (cheers from the government benches)
Speaker: David Cameron.
Cameron: Thank you Mr Speaker. Mr Speaker,will the one eyed,snot gobbling,piss stained,jock tramp opposite,admit to the British people,that he’s not only wrecked the public finances,but has also shown himself to be a shit scared excuse of a man,unwilling to face up to the judgement of the electorate. (cheers from the tories)
Brown: Mmm Mr Speaker. If that upper class tory toff does’nt shut his plummy gob,i’m going to rip his head off and shit down his neck. (more cheers from labour. cries of Go on Gordie!)
Cameron: Mr Speaker. I have to say to the prime minister that if you make one move towards me,i’ll ram that mace so far up your arse,you’ll have a new eyeball. Not that you’ll find it any easier to see any green shoots. (tories cheer and wave order papers. Hague shouts Shitt-er)
Speaker: Order order. The Members must conduct themselves in an appropriate and dignified manner. Prime Minister.
Brown: Thank you Mm Mr Speaker. As i was saying to that bag of hot air opposite,if he ever fancies a square go,we’ll take him and his gang on anytime. But i have to tell the house that he’s the do nothing leader of a do nothing party. (sits down and shuffles his papers as labour benches cheer and make wanker signs at the tories)
Cameron: Mr Speaker. Does the prime minister really believe that the public fall for the same old bully boy swagger that scared all the first year boys for so long. He’s a snivelling,snot nosed,smelly sack of solidified scotch shit. I know it. You know it. The benches opposite know it. Oh Yes, look, even the minister for education knows it! (laughter from the tories) But whats more important,Mr Speaker is that the British public know it. (Wild cheering from the tories. Duncan shouts Stick that up your kilt)
Brown: Mmm Mr Speaker,once again he shows that he has no policies,just personal smears. We are the party putting forward real solutions to deal with the real problems of the global rescession. He could’nt lead Britain. He could’nt lead Gary Glitter to a playground. (Sits down and talks to Straw. Woodward gives Hague the finger. Osborne and Clarke struggle to hold William back. May shouts “Leave him Bill. He’s not worth it”)
Speaker: Nick Clegg.
Speaker: Nick Clegg.
Clegg: Mr Speaker. Will the prime minister accept that the chancellors fiscal projections for the year 2013 to 14,far from showing 0% growth,actually signal a fall in GDP of 12%,thus proving that his sums were done on the back of a fag packet during a break from barricading the door to number 11,in order to save his career. ( Muted squeaks from lib dems)
Brown: Mmm Mr Speaker. Once again, the right honourable member shows that he has no concept of real economics. He’s been listening to the gnome of zero, Vince the Mince,whose idea of fiscal policy is,I told you so. (Scornful jeers from labour. Skinner gobs at kennedy)
Clegg: Mr Speaker. We have consistently warned that the governments anti green stance would lead to serious problems for the economy. The failure to adopt Lib Dem vegetarian monetry policy is the reason that the prime minister finds himself constipated,with a borrowing t’urd up his arse the size of one of freddie flintoffs size 11s. (Lib dems wave both hands.Kennedy throws full can of special brew at Skinner)
Brown: Mmm Mr Speaker. Anytime Nancy Nick and his nine nonces feel lucky,we’ll have them as a starter before the main course. (genuine anger amonst the lib dems. Kennedy staggers to his feet and collapses among the benches)
Speaker: Bill Cash.
Cash: Thank you Mr Speaker. Will the prime minister,although he looks like a dosser in that suit,uphold the interests of gentleman outfitters of saville row,by giving the british people a referendum on the lisbon treaty. After all,we don’t want british politics sidelined by cheap EU tailors,undermining our national sartorial elegance. Look at the benches occupied by the government. They would make a good case for enobling man at C and A, and giving him a cabinet seat. (Laughter all round. Gordon fingers his shirt collar)
Brown: Mmm Mr Speaker. We will continue to represent the british fashion industry. Companies like primark, being a successful leader in classless garments,proving that equality for all is a beacon of New Labour success. He would do well to nip down there and get some clobber belonging to the 21st century, instead of looking like Bertie Woosters dodgy uncle. (cries of get back to the roaring twenties and forelock tugging from northern labour backbenchers)
Speaker: Dennis Skinner. (Pandemonium breaks out)
Skinner: Ey up. The rich git’s only pissed because the other rich git cut off his teat. tories! you can’t trust em. (sits down. pats on back from all round)
Brown: Only Dennis can state tory policy! (Laughter from labour front bench. Balls waves his knob at Hague)
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SOSSIDGJHIZZ
SOS SID GJHIZZ
KHABBAEDGJHYZZ
BHURGHURSZ BANGHURSZ AND BAEANSZ
SUKKER
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ASTA
Will some kindly neighbour go round to Guido’s. I have a feeling of foreboding.
Quick
As long as he’s not found in stockings, handcuffs and sucking an orange, I wouldn’t worry love.
No need to worry. guido knows how to relax.
gordon, in fact, should employ him as a relaxation trainer – how to work, how to play, how to sleep, how to keep things in perspective!!!
Gordon has everything in perspective nell, don’t doubt that. In his perception he is fulfilling his destiny, and the role he was born to play, in leading Britain and the world into the new age. Only by dropping dead the day before the next election will his perception live on. Don’t rule it out.
Y’know I hope gordon doesn’t drop dead before the next election – I really do want to see him put himself and his party to a proper election.
I really believe his ego is going to take a very big battering!!!
He was simply the wrong man, in the wrong place, at the the wrong time.
He is the epitome of everything that’s wrong with todays Britain. Overhyped, self serving fuckwits given the power to dictate peoples lives. He even manages to make Cameron and Osborne look like a viable alternative, when in any real world, they’d be laughed out of court. Thank fuck i’m old enough that it doesn’t matter what the future brings for me, but to the younger generation raised up to the expectation of an easy life, my heart fears for their tomorrow.
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ukpress/article/ALeqM5jzoh5zZRVAyhim3g12K_kGZzJrQQ
gordon, tonight, jokes that he would have liked to play santa to the troops in Afghanistan.
And this after he said earlier in the week that he was out there to share their workload – when he was actually 100 miles away from the front line as he was prancing around in two helmets and state of the art body armour, over his unsuitable business suit, that no-one else has access to.
He just so trivialises our troops and what are they are having to endure out there.
A Mori poll in tomorrow’s Observer shows Tories 17% ahead of Labour (an 11% increase from last months Mori)
Tories 43%
Labour 26%
Lib Dems 20%
Gordon Brown is toast.
Labours share has slowly risen from 20% a couple of months ago to 26% now.
Be afraid Tory boy. Be very afraid.
You one of the 20% – 26% brain dead Nulabour trolls then. Where do Nulabour get these idiots from? Some conveyor belt in Birmingham close to Sion Simon seat no doubt.
I bloody well hope so. What is the spin on Brokenhagen going to be? It was the right thing to do – no deal done but no surprise really is it?
has he gone to the great blog in the sky?
Has he been twitting today?
The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers yet.
“Yes, teacher,” he said, “my dad taught me.”
“Good, Johnny. Tell me what comes after two,” the teacher said.
“Three,” replied little Johnny.
“Very good. What comes after five, Johnny?” asked the teacher.
“Six,” answered little Johnny.
“Excellent. Your dad did a very good job.
Now, what comes after ten?” the teacher asked.
“A Jack!” replied little Johnny.
I’M HERE
NO I’M THE REAL SPARK UP
YOU CAN RUN BUT I FIND YOU AND I KEEEEEEEEL YOU MR SPARK UP
A woman was telling her friend, “I made my husband a millionaire.”
“And what was he before you married him?” asked the friend.
“A billionaire.” she replied.
Sky News and BBC 24;
So,we need a couple of sharp. incisive intellects to make pertinent and witty remarks on tomorrows papers.
Unfortunately the only muppets available are the Browns. Michael and Yasmin Alibi.
Where’s Guido?
Google, the internet giant whose informal corporate motto is “don’t be evil”, did not pay any tax on its £1.6 billion advertising revenues in Britain last year.
The firm, which has a substantial presence in London, diverted all its advertising earnings from customers in Britain to its Irish subsidiary.
The arrangement allowed Google legally to avoid paying more than £450m in corporation tax to HM Revenue & Customs in 2008, The Sunday Times has established
A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony….
On his first day there, he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around.
A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection.
The young woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, ‘Did you call for me?’
The man replies, ‘No, what do you mean?’
She says, ‘You must be new here. Let me explain. It’s a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.’
Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.
The man then continues to explore the colony’s facilities. He enters the sauna and, as he sits down, he farts….
Within minutes, a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam-room toward him, ‘Did you call for me?’ says the hairy man.
‘No, what do you mean?’ says the newcomer.
‘You must be new,’ says the hairy man, ‘it’s a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for a man.’ The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench and has his way with him.
The newcomer staggers back to the colony office, where he is greeted by the smiling, receptionist, ‘Anything wrong? May I help you?’ she says.
The man yells, ‘Here’s my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the £ 2,500 membership fee.’
‘But, Sir,’ she replies, ‘you’ve only been here for a few hours. You haven’t had the chance to see all our facilities.’
The man replies, ‘Listen lady, I’m 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month. I fart 15 times a day!!
An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and heads for the docks once more for old times sake.
He engages a prostitute and takes her up to a room.
He’s soon going at it as well as he can for a guy his age, but needing some reassurance, he asks, “How am I doing?”
The prostitute replies, “Well old sailor, you’re doing about three knots.”
“Three knots?” he asks, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
She says, “You’re knot hard, you’re knot in, and you’re knot getting your fucking money back!”
10 out of 10.
That’s my vote secured.
A bloke walks into a bank, and after waiting for 20 minutes, he goes straight to a customer service rep. and says, “Hey, bitch, I got this cheque for deposit and I’ll be fucking pissed off if I am going to wait any more.” “Please”, says the woman. “I won’t have that kind of language in this bank.” “Well excuse me, but this fuckin’ cheque ain’t drawing any fucking interest with you yappin’ away about my language.” “Sir, I don’t have to take this abuse” she says. “Well then let’s get the fuckin’ manager okay? I mean what kind of shit is this I have to take from you?” The manager is summoned, and says “What seems to be the problem?” The woman says, “This man is using vulgar language and I won’t stand for it.” The bloke says “Hey alls I’m trying to do in this shit house bank, for fucks sake is deposit this fuckin’ check for 15 million quid.” The manager looks at the cheque and then at the bloke and says “And this fuckin’ bitch won’t help you?”
That might be funny if it wasn’t so close to the truth.
The future is Credit Agricole, Mish Moneypenny. Putting a Scotsman in charge of a bank is like giving a rapisht the keysh to the girls dorm.
If i had half a mind, i’d vote Tory. As it is, i’m not convinced that Cameron cove is one of us.
Isn’t it time for caesars wife to turn up posting some old bollocks?
Bloody hell. Is Sunday the new Friday? Did Guido take an ill-advised walk in the woods?
“Tony Blair faces accusations of hypocrisy after he used a private jet to fly to Copenhagen to preach about the dangers of carbon emissions.
The former PM travelled to the summit last Sunday where he warned that a failure to change human behaviour was ‘grossly irresponsible’.
But he flew on a private jet, generating a carbon footprint at least six times larger than if he had taken a scheduled flight.”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1237228/Anger-delegates-Holocaust-jibe-climate-deal–country-shares-62bn-bonanza.html
Let me be the first: you fucking cock-grasping hypocrite, Blair.
The great thing about our Tone is that his reputation is being shredded faster than a sheaf of phony expense claims.
I’m not sure he any longer has the credibility and influence he fantasises he has.
He will eventually be left with a large property portfolio and a look of consternation on everyone’s face.
And Slotgob can screw off too.
Yeah, minging breeder. And that’s just Tony…
…….. so, the wife walks into the bedroom and strips naked. She views herself in the full length mirror and blurts out to me “Oh, look at me, I’m fat, ugly and feel horrible, say something complimentary to me.”
I look up from my book and say “Your eyesight is 100% perfect.”
Eric.
The private jets of Messers Blair and Brown have created a carbon footprint 6 times greater than if they had taken a scheduled airline according to the Mail today, but the journalist has never traveled, apparently on an airline with vacant seats? I hear that in club class there are always vacant seats, and there are always ones up in the pilot’s quarters for someone like Gordon, who always likes to have his hands near the controls.
No. If the buggers had taken scheduled flights and the airline had not needed to lay on extra flights (by forward-booking the seats) their carbon footprint would have been ZERO. Even a highly intellectually challenged zombie could have worked that one out.
So, Mr Brown and Blair write out one thousand times, and not in felt tip:
I must practise what I preach
I must practise what I preach
I must practise what I preach……….
The latest advert from Nu Lab Guv says if we drive 5 miles a week less each week then we won’t make the polar bears homeless….. so I have been driving 5 miles a week less but now I now know it was to carbon offset Blair and Browns private jets (and Charlie Boy’s Aston Martin) so now I can sleep better at night.
Tony Blair Faith Foundation….. spooky !!!
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/theroyalfamily/6845409/Tony-Blair-spends-thousands-on-party-at-Prince-Williams-favourite-nightclub.html
Blair has spooked me for years. Only extreme narcissists back up their viewpoints and actions with the GOD rubbish. Blair says it doesn’t affect/infect/infest his judgements, but I bet it bloody does. It’s written all over his smug face… the moral certainty… It’s much worse than Brown’s bleating on about his austere protestant childhood and his VARLEWS gained from the upbringing in the manse.
CON 43%(+6), LAB 26%(-5), LDEM 20%(+2). Mori
CON 40%(nc), LAB 28%(-3), LDEM 18%(+2). YouGov
CON 40%(nc), LAB 24%(+1), LDEM 20%(+1). Angus Reid
Con 41%, LAB 26%, LDEM 19.5%, Poll Average
Happy Christmas Lefties, it will be your last in power for a long time.
This poll is clearly a reflection that the jokes told by the Conservative Party are clearly far superior to the Labour Party jokes
I will shortly publish the joke which I hope will win the General Election
Is that the one about winning more seats in Scotland?.
Bitter Labour trolls.
Hahahaha
now get outside and try and enjoy the sunshine like normal people.
That
is
all.
The Tory’s have “written off” Scotland in a General Election and privately accept that North of the Border it will be a two way fight between Labour and SNP. The real battlefield for government is in England and the marginals which will decide who governs after the election and on present showing it ain’t likely to be Brown & Co
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SKHOTLAND HAS WRIT OFF THE BOREYTORWRAES
THAT LAEAVES THE VYQKTOARWRAEYUSS IN PAOWER
LAYBORE IZ A RITE~OFF IN WHAYLESZ
THE APATHETYQK VOTER IS IN THE ASCENDANTSEA
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ASTA
You’ve been watching Monty Python again, haven’t you ?
Send Nu Lab to a Gulag for hard labour and then they will see what its like for the Nu Poor they have created!!
True, they could not give a toss for the working classes they are supposed to represent !!
New Labour = Bollocks
Putting Father back into Christmas;
Stupid sods! And they wonder why they didn’t get custody of their kids…
If you only knew what you were talking about, do a little reseach then see where you stand on this!
Right I’m off and running
I used to go out with a girl from The Netherlands, who had a fetish for inflatable shoes.
Not anymore though, she popped her clogs.
COMMENT NUMBER 600
Boxing Day morning. Jesus is up early playing with his new myrrh. The wise men are making coffee. Mary and Joseph come downstairs, with Mary sporting a massive black eye. One of the wise men says,
“Christ! What happened?” to which Joseph replies:
“First shag I’ve had in six months and the bitch starts screaming her ex’s name.”
Were you the notorious Bob Monkhouse joke book thief?
Yes indeed,guilty as charged.
The Conservative party will steal anything from anyone to gain power.
I didn’t steal the jokes, I was just liberating them.
Explanation accepted.
No jury in the land will convict you.
A Tale of two cities (Countries)
US Hammered By Worst Storm In Decades.
Forecasters are predicting 10 to 15 inches of snow for the New York metropolitan area, with higher amounts possible on the New Jersey coast and eastern Long Island. Trains have also been affected by the snow. Amtrak spokesperson Vernae Graham said trains along the northeast corridor between Boston and Washington were being delayed by up to an hour.
However on the other side of the Atlantic
Eurostar Halts Services Amid Train Chaos
Eurostar has cancelled all its services today as it strives to avoid a repeat of the chaos that saw thousands of passengers trapped for hours in the Channel Tunnel. Wintry weather is thought to be to blame and there are calls for the firm’s chief executive Richard Brown to resign and admit Eurostar was “not adequately prepared”.A spokesman for the company said it plans to run test trains to get to the bottom of the problems that caused widespread disruption. Five trains broke down in the Tunnel on Friday night, leaving some 2,000 passengers stuck without light, air-conditioning, food or water.
Last night, a sixth Eurostar train from Paris to London, with 750 people on board, failed at Thurrock Viaduct after it came out of the tunnel on the UK side.
NOTE THE DIFFERENCE
WE HAD ‘WINTERY WEATHER THEY HAD 15″ + OF SNOW!!!
WE WERE UNDERGROUND THEY WERE ON THE SURFACE.
finally
We have systems that dont work they have systems that continue to work.
Nature 3 Climate Change Fuckwits 0
I have just returned from my latest trip abroad to a foreign grandstand – the Con15 conference. I must admit I love my trips abroad, as my snot always has an interesting flavour on returning to the UK. This is due to the different atmospheric conditions and dust composition found in other parts of the world. Foreign flavours certainly beat the run of the mill Whitehall and Westminster snot flavours.
A couple of months ago I told everybody that we had fifty days to save the world. As it now turns out, I have single-handedly turned back the hands of time and our journey to global devastation, heavy rainstorms, changing weather conditions and occasional flooding has been stopped.
Witness the unprecedentedly cold weather now sweeping across Europe and north America and the data from the UEA CRU showing global temperatures now falling. Job done. New taxes to pay for it to follow shortly.
But I cannot stop there. My next job is to save the Labour Party.
“My next job is to save the Labour Party”
Good luck on that one Gordon I gave up years ago!!
P.S. Why don’t you “Brits” like me after all I’ve done for YOU ?
PPS. And I’d do it again too even without WMD so there !!!!!!!
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/politics/article6962872.ece
Who outed Greg Stone as a contributor here?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/liberaldemocrats/6845129/Hazel-Blears-on-Botox-says-Lib-Dem.html
Marcus Brigstocke is funnier than Rory Bremner
Brown is more yellow than dog’s vomit.
I watched Culshaw and Wossname for the first time a few days back and it was pisspoor. At least Bremner can do good impressions and some of them are funny with it.
Too many of Gordon Brown’s inner circle are:
hypocrites who covet wealth while preaching empathy with the poor
champagne socialists who hide their privileged backgrounds
warmongers
anglophobes and xenophiles
envious talentless no hopers
liars and thieves
vicious homosexuals
strident feminists
destroyers of the traditional values and fabric of British society
authoritarian totalitarians who wish to control what other people say and think
inadequates with no leadership skills whatsoever
ethnic minority quota fillers with chips on their shoulders
etc etc.
You forgot to mention that Labour are the biggest trougher in the expenses scandal.
Got the wife’s Christmas presents. Ear rings and a vibrator. If she doesn’t like the ear rings she can go fuck herself.
Can you get a vibrating turkey baster?
The snow at my house is at least 3 inches deep.
I know this because I stuck my penis into it and couldnt feel the ground.
Tories 17% ahead in the polls gives you another 7″ Dave.
The McCurse in operation again?
http://scotlandonsunday.scotsman.com/uk/Browns39–bauble-sparks-festive.5926260.jp
Bomber Brown strikes again.
My wife’s been dropping me subtle hints this week as to what she wants for Christmas, saying things like ” I want something that feels really silky and smooth”, “Hope you get it in my size” and “I want to be able to wear it every day”.
Boy is she going to love to the washing-up gloves I bought.
I’ve just been turned down for the next series of Britain’s Got Talent.
Apparently, being able to piss in three different directions after sex is not a talent.
So it’s back to wanking threesomes in your bedroom for you then loser!
Bloody hell Guido, half the membership have died since we heard from you.
national debt
Are, Bruce Forsyth and Robert Kilroy-Silk, one and the same person?
“Ted says:
December 19, 2009 at 9:43 pm
A Mori poll in tomorrow’s Observer shows the Tories 17% ahead of Labour (an 11% increase from last months Mori)
Tories 43%
Labour 26%
Lib Dems 20%
Brown will be for the sack in January.”
actually doom gets promoted to higher nwo office and or riches as his rewardfor destroying the county, just like phoney and the other traitors and dave steps in to dictate the nwo policy.
while dave dictates nwo policy your mps will betray you as they always do as they will be whipped by the dictatorship.
intimidation and bullying in the work place.
in short you vote for a new nwo dictator every few years.
but the dictator is but a puppet for the real power – the bankers backed by the royals.
we are paying interest to these bastards who deliberately collapsed the banking system through de regulation and now the bankers want `carbon` pixie dust taxes to finance their nwo global takover, just as they needed taxes for the eu wing of the nwo.
vote for dave or gordon at your peril.
you are looking atbthe last days of freedom.
It’s gone quiet… too quiet. Where’s Guido? Shopping, hopefully. Taking a bit of a rest. Putting in some ‘quality time’ with his family. Going, somewhere, about his lawful business as he is, thanks to our progressive legislators, fully entitled to do so. He’s probably just responsibly enjoying himself this Christm… sorry, Winter Break; he is, after all, only an individual, fallible, human being, as are all non-Party members. There’ll be some rational explanation for this site’s 48 hour hiatus, eventually: there always is. Well-known dissidents don’t just disappear overnight in Region 7, do they?
That’s right – we must all be paranoid. For no reason. No reason at all.
Don’t forget to register to vote – while you still can.
Papal Christmas honours: canonisation (universal) of St Nadine; beatification (local) of The Blessed Yvette; rejection of Guido for any type of veneration owing to internal Vatican disputes.
Come and sit on my lap, any one seen me kin
A’m I still alive
I intend to lead with this gag in the forthcoming televise debates
A bloke is lying in bed in hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young student nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet. “Nurse”, he mumbles from behind the mask, “Are my testicles black?” Embarrassed, the young student replies, “I don’t know I’m only here to wash your hands and feet.” He struggles again to ask,”Nurse are my testicles black?” Finally she pulls back the covers, raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in her other hand and takes a closer look and says,”There is nothing wrong with them.” Fnally the bloke pulls off his oxygen mask and replies “That was very nice but, I asked ARE MY TEST RESULTS BACK?
*** Brown Blogging on Huffington Post***
“A clear agenda for reform in 2010″
“When the Asian Crisis sent shockwaves around the world’s economies in the late 1990s, I made proposals for a reshaping of our international institutions for new times.
We are now at the end of the first decade of a troubled new century where we have witnessed deep global economic, environmental and security crises.
And it is clearer than ever that without effective decision making at a global level, we cannot possibly meet the great global challenges: protectionism, economic instability, climate change, and threats from terrorism and nuclear proliferation.
A better international framework for cooperation is no longer just desirable in one arena: it is essential in every one.
One of the frustrations of the Copenhagen Climate Change Conference was that outdated attitudes — and a fear of change — prevented the binding treaty most of the world wants.
That is not to detract from some significant achievements. In substantive terms the Copenhagen Accord is stronger than most commentary has acknowledged.
It sets for the first time in a United Nations context a global goal of no more than 2° Celsius of warming. For the first time, it requires all developed countries to adopt emissions caps at the same time as requiring the largest developing countries — including China, India and Brazil — to set out and to stand behind their emissions reduction plans.
It creates a system of transparent reporting and analysis of actions taken. And it includes funding to help developing countries tackle climate change, rising from $10 billion a year in 2012 to $100 billion by 2020.
Most importantly of all, when countries submit their final emissions reductions targets and plans, the Copenhagen Accord can and must put in place a high level of collective ambition which puts the world on a low carbon pathway consistent with the 2° objective.
But, of course, we did not get agreement to cement all this in a legally binding treaty — and this must be our goal in the next few months.
The elusiveness of that aim reflects both the way this new world does business on environmental and other issues, and the risks this creates for the world economy.
The UN has never had the environmental, economic and social clout that should accompany its high ideals and grand aspirations — and not just on climate change.
While peacemaking and humanitarian help has improved, the necessary capacity to prevent and resolve conflicts — through stabilisation and reconstruction — is developing too slowly.
Meanwhile, the International Monetary Fund was built around national states with protected economies; and the World Bank around the reconstruction of war-ravaged economies.
But today’s economies are no longer sheltered and local but interwoven and global; not even the biggest can be insulated from instability without wider international cooperation.
And development now also entails funding adaptation to — and mitigation of — climate change; as well as new ways to fight poverty, such as through trade and economic development.
So a new level of global cooperation for sustainable prosperity and peace is the only way to take millions out of unemployment and poverty, to prevent millions more being abandoned to climate change catastrophe, and to protect us all from the threats of terrorism and nuclear proliferation.
Our collective failure so far to match global action to these global needs is all the more disappointing because a shared global ethic is emerging.
The universal response to the banking crisis has been a call for fairness and responsibility. The crisis of climate change has at the same time evoked calls for us to recognize our dependence upon each other.
In every one of the world’s many religious faiths there is a common thread of compassion: a recognition that we should do to others as we would be done by.
And as global communications networks bring more and more people together, we are finding that the values they share are a greater inspiration to action than those which divide them.
The world has accepted shared responsibility for the environment, yet we have no adequate institutional means to turn that responsibility into reality.
We see the need for better management for the global economy to enable strong, sustained and balanced growth but have not given the G20 or the IMF the tools to achieve it.
We have accepted the responsibility for global financial supervision but have not yet given the Financial Stability Board sufficient strength to organize it.
We have publicly taken on responsibility for the Millennium Development Goals — but no one body has the responsibility for ensuring they are delivered.
And we have even accepted ‘the responsibility to protect’ — our duty to save civilians from genocide and war crimes — but have seldom implemented it in practice.
So our global ethic lacks conviction without better ways to make decisions as one world.
Far-seeing people will tell us that the first years of the coming decade are probably the only times when fundamental change is possible and if we do not take it we will not be able to maintain the benefits of an open global economy and harness globalization to achieve a better, more prosperous world.
For as the balance of economic power changes over the next two decades, new and stronger power-brokers may be less willing to embrace change.
My fear is that, by that time, a new kind of environmental, economic and social protectionism will be our fate; threatening prosperity, our environment and ultimately global stability.
To avoid this race to the bottom, I propose that we discuss five inclusive reforms in the way the world seeks global solutions for global problems.
On climate change, I propose that we strengthen the UN environmental institutions, providing for clearer decision-making powers, a stronger role in ensuring the transparency of actions, and a clearer role in ensuring flows of climate finance.
Building on the Copenhagen Accord, it is particularly important that the UN has a proper system of transparency from all its members.
This would help remove one of the stumbling blocks to the legally-binding climate change treaty that Europe and most of the rest of the world desires and supports. It is clearly important that the world knows what its collective effort against climate change is achieving.
Second, I propose that the G20 — now charged as the premier global economic forum — finds better ways of recognizing the needs of all continents and ensuring outreach to, and representation for, all 192 countries.
Third, the world needs better rules and procedures for addressing economic instability; so alongside the G20 I propose that the IMF — working with a greatly strengthened FSB — becomes akin to an independent bank, responsible for independent surveillance to ensure early warning for, and the prevention of, crises.
This should be the basis for the G20’s work.
Fourth, the World Bank, IMF and regional banks — often through more representative trust funds — must be reformed with the expanded financial power they need to help tackle climate change, instability and poverty.
Fifth, as I have said before, we need to address the challenge of rebuilding failed states and post-conflict countries with better mechanisms for stabilization and reconstruction.
“These major changes in the way the world works are, I believe, the first steps towards a truly global society.
All require countries to reconsider entrenched positions, but each should be discussed and refined and we should then make this our clear agenda for reform in 2010.”
Colleen
“To avoid this race to the bottom, I propose…”
Gordon Brown, you are highly unlikely to be UK’s Prime Minister in few months time, let alone in a position to propose anything on behalf of the world: and the whole world knows it. This is embrassingly self agrandisment and utopianism on your behalf.
Living as I do in England, I would rather you spent time attempting to repair UK’s broken economy and society than attempting to dictate to the rest of the world.
How did I end up down here??!!
While you’re down there………..
Nell it’s basically a bit of software which latches onto the odd word or phrase here and there..for instance, while allowing through fucks and bastards and all sorts of other words, it does, for some reason, hate the compatatively innocuous word “t*urd”, and so “mods” any post containing it! Don’t ask me why…..
Yeah, nell always tries to post a tυrd on here.
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Faouwnd In The Bhak if Wun of Sarah Palins* Old Eqkxsirseyse Bhooks
A Rhyme
THE PILGHRYMME
Line Wun
EYE THANQK THE KAPTIN,
IN THISS PLAICE,
THAT EYE HAVE
A SAYVING GHRRAYSCE
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ASTA
Am I The A TURD NEY General ?
SQUIRRQ!!! ASTALAVISTA! ASTALAVISTA! (klik) (kerr-chunk) URRKK!!! (shuffle) MAKEMYDAY!!!
what the fuck are you on ?
and what planet did you come from ?
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EYE THANQK MAI KAPTIN,
IN THISS PLAICE,
THAT EYE HAVE
A SAYVYNG GHRR~ACE
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ASTA
I Would Like To Post A Dog Turd Through Lazy Vera Beard’s Letterbox Anyone Know Her Adress ?
A Mori poll in tomorrow’s Observer shows the Tories 17% ahead of Labour (an 11% increase from last months Mori)
Tories 43%
Labour 26%
Lib Dems 20%
Brown will be for the sack in January.
(flapflapflapflap) SKWEEERRKK!! BALDIE!!!
Is that what they bury fraudsters in nowadays?
Yes Ted but the Hung Parliament Narrative lives on, and there will be a New Year Poll giving the Conservatives 10%. This one’s to keep you nice and relaxed over Christmas, and not talking about the big stitch-up which is about to take place.
http://the-tap.blogspot.com/2009/12/hung-parliament-returns-conservative.html
“Rather than dreading the next opinion poll, party activists have been asking when the next one is coming, eager to see the Tory lead drop again. “It has all made a pleasant change,” said one Labour MP. Last week there was even some good news on unemployment. The message: Labour is back in the game and enjoying a bounce. Until today, that is.”
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2009/dec/20/opinion-polls-election-tory-lead
We should allow ourselves a brief moment of quiet chortling.
Will it be knotted, include a few bricks and be thrown into the G.U.Canal?
What The Fuck Are You On ?
What Planet Are You Comming From ?
Sorry Missed off the Hoon !
Well what do you expect when Alistair refused to be photographed with the Nurses ahead of his PBR statement. I’ve always realised the value of a good “photo op”.It put me where I am to-day……
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1237243/Couldnt-pose-nurses-Alistair.html