December 15th, 2009

Paintball Aftermath

The Xmas Paintball Match united the politicians from Labour and the Tories against the anti-politicians from the Taxpayers’ Alliance, Big Brother Watch and Guy News on the other side.  Guido is happy to report that the politicians took an awful beating, 4 -1 was the thrashing.  The games were characterised by blatant cheating and vicousness, particularly from the women.  Sam Coates (that is his back pictured in the middle) fought valiantly for the politicians but he was no match for Emily Nomates.  The aggressive attacking from Mark Wallace of the Taxpayers’ Alliance and Alex Deane from Big Brother Watch meant that the politicians were repeatedly overwhelmed.   Personal thanks to Jessica Asato from Progress for firing vertically downwards onto Guido’s head and Brittany Greer for war crimes.  Alex Smith made it particularly easy for our team to find him by wearing a white LabourList t-shirt for the first half of the night.  Guido can confirm that Alex and MessageSpace’s Jag Singh squeal like babies when pain is inflicted on them…

Thanks to MessageSpace for sponsoring the night/beer and Domino’s for the pizza.  It is two for one on Tuesdays…


  1. 1
    hmm...... says:

    looks like the new establishment are getting chummy

  2. 2
    gone fuckin mental says:

    boys and there toys

  3. 3
    The reincarnation of William Calcraft says:

    Did you use cold steel? Did anyone like it up ‘em?

    Inquiring minds wanna know!

  4. 4
    Sir William Waad says:

    Congratulations! I look forward to the pols’ explanations of why they really won, or only loss because of an unfortunate disability.

    If the bloggers eventually become part of the Lobby, will they be the Blobby?

  5. 5

    +Could any of you chaps with the weaponry ensure that Jonah NEVER gets to the Copenhagen Summit or the Planet is really fucked.

    My simple solutions

  6. 6
    concrete pump says:

    Hmmm, no news about the games on Labourlist’s home page.

    Hurting badly, one hopes.

  7. 8
    Shagger Norris says:

    Where are the pictures of Emily’s bruises?

  8. 9
    Sir William Waad says:

    Inflation is up to 1.9%. Brace yourselves for a new era of stagflation.

    • 10
      Mitch says:

      fucking labour bastards


    • 72
      Private Parts says:

      Ooops, Labour are getting a bit hot under the collar about this, Lord Paul, Privy Counselloe eh?

      Labour Non Doms
      Non-Dom Lord Paul a close freind of Brown who is under investigation over his expenses and who has pledged to give as much as he can to Labour’s election campaign has been made a privy counsellor.
      1) Sir Ghulam Noon
      2) Baron Swraj Paul
      3) Lakshmi Mittal
      All non-doms. All bank rolling the Labour Party.

  9. 11
    Engineer says:

    “The games were characterised by blatant cheating and vicousness, particularly from the women.”

    Some things in life never change, do they…..

    • 48
      Aberdeen Angus McDayie says:

      When it’s time to hang the first politician with the guts of the first banker, we can I think leave it safely to the women. Long of suffering in silence, deceived by those in whom they put their trust, they will relish getting the job done. You and I, Engineer, would best walk away at this time.

    • 58
      smig says:

      snakes with tits the fuckin lot of them

  10. 12
    Mitch says:

    quite a few people with Scaramanga third (and fourth) nipples there

  11. 13
    Martin Jee says:

    I heard you were cheating Guido?

    Not leaving the game when shot, tsk tsk.

  12. 14
    Primrose Path says:

    Getting a bit close to them now Guido? Socializing, etc? Do the top ten thousand want you to become one of their number?

  13. 15
    Anonymous says:

    Ah ! Check out those anti-establishment credentials of those corporate whores as the bash the bishop of their paymasters…

    So, er, rebellious…

  14. 18
    Eileen Critchley says:

    What if Labour were to quickly dump Gordon in the new year?

  15. 19
    obangobang says:

    You use a polaroid camera?

  16. 20
    Hislop used to be edgy too.... says:

    Come into my parlour….

  17. 22
    Chris Bryant says:

    “It is two for one on Tuesdays…”

    I’ll have the jumbo sausage with meatballs.

  18. 24

    Are these the new helicopters that McBroon announced sometime ago?

    Are we not supposed to notice the time delay by the announcements?

    • 29
      Mitch says:

      even Ainsworth doesn’t know what the fuck is going on now. announce and re-announce, the army should have hundreds by now instead of 3 and a third

      • 39
        Hugh Janus says:

        You seem to imply that Bob Aintworthatoss ever knew what was going on. That’s a serious misjudgement.

        • 45
          Sir William Waad says:

          I see him as one of those giant plant-eating dinosaurs, with a brain the size of a plum and a tiny auxiliary brain in the hip area to control the back legs and tail.

  19. 31
    TheCourtOfPublicOpinion says:

    Looks like someone’s in the shit:

    • 37
      Mitch says:

      Excellent comment (and this is the Times remember):

      “What volume of excrement do you think he can now afford to have laid on his body?
      Nose in the trough? With Mark it’s never that vanilla!”

    • 40
      concrete pump says:

      Hahahahaha, couldn’t have happened to a creepier c*nt.

      Is he still coming home late at night with bags of rent boys poo ?

    • 62
      Sir William Waad says:

      I like the idea of wanting a mattress for his home in Brixton and having it delivered to his home in Winchester. Did he take it up to town on the train?

    • 86
      Being in the dark ages says:

      I heard about this arsehole being found with rent boys – what is it with the “scatty” stuff – did that get exposed too?

  20. 32
    Boycott the Licence Fee says:

    Rather you than me, Guido. I wouldn’t wish to be associated with these low-life politicians. People might start to talk and form the view that you’ve sold yourself out to them.
    If you must sup with the Devil, better use a long spoon…

  21. 33
    Gordon Brown says:

    Number One in G20 inflation!

    Rejoice! Rejoice!

  22. 36
    Hugh Janus says:

    Slow news day Guido? Paintballing is all there is? Not up to your usual standard – and fraternising with the establishment too. Is this the beginning of the end??

    • 60
      Aberdeen Angus McDayie says:

      More politics on Wattsupwiththat than Guido so far this week. Just as the US DOE sends a “litigation hold notice” regarding CRU to employees – asking to “preserve documents” we find CRU takes down Briffa Tree Ring Data and more.

      This raises the question of whether Uni of East Anglia mean to honor the extant FoI requests, or whether they intend to stick two fingers up to the Information Commissioner – even with the hanging threat of criminal prosecutions. Now why would they do that? Could it be that they have realized that in the last resort, they have appeal to the Privy Council, which has the power to overturn any judgement the courts might make, including the chicken Supreme Court?

  23. 42

    Mark “sow your wild” Oatsen “so simple” bought 3 beds for 682 quid. Did they keep getting shit stains on them then?

  24. 44
    hmm...... says:

    The Left came second, whilst the Right came last but one

  25. 47
    Penfold says:

    What, no accidental deaths, or maimings.?

    Quelle swiz Guids, I was looking forward to some.

    I feel let down and in need of counselling.

  26. 49
    Tartwatch says:

    Missing Mandy.

  27. 50
    Manc says:

    Paintball? What a bunch of tossers the lot of you are.

  28. 51
    Civil Servant says:

    Lovely to see you chumming up to the ruling classes, unlike those sycophantic lobby journalists.

  29. 54
    solopolis says:

    Go easy on the paintballing.

    It’s perilously close to being a Walt.

  30. 55
    Dave "Nick Nick" Cameron says:

    I’ve just read this on the BBC news website:

    “Mr Berlusconi, 73, suffered a broken nose, cuts and two broken teeth after being hit with a model of Milan cathedral after a rally in the city.”.

    He got off lucky with those injuries, fucking idiot racing at his age.

  31. 56
    Gordon Brown says:

    Sarah and me pissed ourselves laughing a this one

    Happy Christmas – watch this to smile

    Surely the Christmas Number 1? :-)

  32. 57
    Clone Warning says:

    Pipe down you nefarious little tag stealer.

    TaT would’ve mentioned top boy at least once and cripple on several occasions.

    You fucking tramp! You such a fucking riff that you eat your own puke just to say you had a warm meal.

    • 67
      Clone Warning says:

      dear twat,

      stop acting like the hardman that you aint

      get back in your variety club sunshine coach you windowlicking k.unt

    • 68
      Police Firearms Squad says:

      “Put down the tweezers and step back – slowly. Hands in the air. Do it now!”

  33. 59
    Jean Jenkins says:

    Comment 44 refers to being a Mr Thieves being “bummed by a dwarf”

    I am confused

    • 66
      TaT's Probation Officer says:

      Probably not as confused as the dwarf was.

    • 71
      Clone Warning says:

      get out of the wheelchair and she will

      you fucking joey. get your shoes on you spacker. simon groom is here to take you to the blue peter garden.

      • 77
        Clone Warning says:

        you pathetic windowlicker. have a gold star for the gayest retort today.

        get back in your box you miserable little gimp.

      • 92
        G. O'D says:

        Back to work blog trollers. Enough of this fooling about.

        You can play with each other later.

  34. 61
    Engineer says:

    Government earnings (tax-take) are about £400 billion this year, and government spending is about £580 billion. Same again next year. We can’t go on like that. Cuts are not optional – the only question is how much, and how soon. Labour are still trying to run away from cuts (whilst actually cutting a bit here and there). At least the Tories seem to ‘get it’.

    Don’t expect the next few years to be pleasant, whoever wins power. It will be the almighty hangover after Labour’s decade of wild excess.

    • 74
      Real Alternative says:

      nah the Tories are not getting it. Cameron will keep the taxes Brown imposed on us. Cameron will impose green taxes on us. That £1.5bn Brown gave away a few days ago? Cameron will sign that cheque too. Cameron knows how much to cut but he won’t do it, the fucker. He won’t even give us a referendum on the EU.

      Cameron is BluLabour: Vote Blue, get more of Brown.

      We need a real alternative. When will the Tories throw away that lightweight and get a proper Conservative leader?

  35. 64
    Noisy says:

    BBC Breaking News

    “Woman banned from making loud noise during sex pleads guilty to breaching Asbo three times”

    So that won’t be Sarah Brown then?

  36. 69

    Did you see that twot Andy Burnthem spent 2500 on a christmas tree for his department. Cheeky fucker will proably take it home when they break up from school tomorrow.

    Who will be representing cyclops at PMQ’s tomorrow. Hairy Harman?

  37. 73
    Private Parts says:

    Labour Non Doms
    Non-Dom Lord Paul a close freind of Brown who is under investigation over his expenses and who has pledged to give as much as he can to Labour’s election campaign has been made a privy counsellor.
    1) Sir Ghulam Noon
    2) Baron Swraj Paul
    3) Lakshmi Mittal
    All non-doms. All bank rolling the Labour Party.

  38. 75
    Scumnation says:

    Psycho Brit and his missus, Neurotic Bint, won’t accept cuts to their SkySports+ and X-Factor de luxe lifestyle.

    PyschoBrit and NeuroticBint would rather have the country crash than accept they’re not living in a rich country and all their apparent wealth is a Ponzi bankers’ scam – for the bankers.

    PsychoBrit and Neurotic Bint will vote for anyone who promises to defend their Sky/X-Factor life.

    PsychoBrit and his ‘partner’/common-law wife/living-over-the-sticks bit of stuff/post-modern Slag are about to get their just deserts. the mother of all arse-kickings – down to Untouchables Indian poverty level.

    • 95
      Boycott the Licence Fee says:

      Sadly I believe you’re right. Sometimes I wonder why we bother to try to save these peasants from their own folly.

  39. 81

    I like the blond bird in the Nescafe ad below

  40. 83
    aswinsterstale says:

    Guido, you realise you are becoming mainstream

  41. 93
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Do people think there’s a bit too much of ‘wasn’t the office party a scream this year Daphne?’ about all this?

  42. 96
    In the dark says:

    Guido got to play with Emily Nomates in the dark for “paint balling” (is that what it’s called these days)!

    1) Does Guido’s wife know?

    2) Lucky bugger!

  43. 99
    Craigoh says:

    As that sage and philosopher de nos jours, Homer J. Simpson himself, might say:

    “Mmmmm… Emily no Mates… Mmmmm…”

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Nick Clegg says:

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