December 14th, 2009

#BlogWars ’09

Guido is off to physically wage war tonight on politicians, we’ll find out if Labour are “fighters and believers”, if the Tories “will fight and Britain will win”The Guy News team will be impartially shooting at both sides, as always…

There has been a bit of banter and sledging on Twitter in advance (hashtag tonight is #blogwars).  Pictured above: Guido looking camp in Kampuchea with the Khmer Bleu, LabourList’s Alex Smith still searching for WMDs, ToryBear looking for @BevaniteEllie, CCHQ’s Sam Coates practising his sharp shooting and Brittany Greer demonstrating why you don’t mess with Texas.

Thanks to Jag Singh (pictured right) at MessageSpace for organising the match.  Do his Labour Party colleagues know that the former Hillary ’08 staffer is a paid up member of the NRA?  Splat!


  1. 1
    Stern, Cohen, Krugman,... says:

    Global Warming is true, you fucking idiots. Trust us, we’re Special.

  2. 2
    General Disgust MBE says:

    You’re gonna need bigger guns

  3. 3
    Bored at Work says:


  4. 4
    Camels Arse says:

    The Labour team may use ‘chaff dispensers’. Mind you don’t trip up on the odd weapons inspectors corpse.

  5. 5
    Chunky (the man with the pineapple bollocks) says:

    Talking of special needs. have you seen Gordon on his outward bound course?

  6. 6
    Anonymous says:

    Widow Wanky.

  7. 7
    Mr Plum says:

    They should use it as a recruitment poster with the slogan.

    ‘Your country needs you’ beneath.

  8. 8

    I advise punji stakes. There is a great element of surprise in thinking yourself a macho participant in some ritualised but generally harmless gunplay, but then stumbling into an eighteen inches deep pit lined with razor sharp bamboo stakes smeared with shit.

    It would make for a memorable christmas.

    Caedite eos! Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius.

  9. 9
    caesars wife says:

    Does this montage of gun totting bloggers suggest we breathe the air of oregon !!

    Good luck , if maguire there special shot on the arse please !

  10. 10
    HASH BROWN (saviour of the universe ) says:

    Great picture He looks like 2 pounds of Shit in a 1 Pound Bag
    Did anyone see him on the news last night ? he run over to some troops with out streched hand only to be snubbed again !
    What A C*nt !

  11. 11
    MI6 says:

    He He. Bliar thought it a good idea to invade Afghanistan and Iraq. I wonder if he really believes it. After seeing the pics in the Sunday times with those poor squaddies blown to bits it don’t seem like a good idea. And any way I thought regime change was illegal by international law standards. Is Bliar admitting he is a Criminal like his mate Bush.

  12. 12
    HASH BROWN (saviour of the universe ) says:

    Can’t you get your hands on a pump action And do the job properly ?
    I’ll bet theres a knighthood in it for you

  13. 13
    Anonymous says:

    “The Guy News team will be impartially shooting at both sides, as always…”

    We will see how much truth there is in that bullshit if either you or Tory Bear comes into possession of a video of David Cameron losing his rag at a junior aide on the campaign trail, going ballistic at one of his shadow cabinet on the battle bus or using the word ‘spastic’ at one of his SpAds during the run-up to the General Election…

    Of course, maybe I’m wrong and that you would run such a film, because as Boss Hogg used to say on the Dukes of Hazzard….

    ‘Blood is thicker than water, but money is thicker than blood…’

    But if this really is true, why are hitching yourself up with that partisan wanker Tory Bear ?? Talk about damaging the brand, Guido…

  14. 14
    Anonymous says:

    The way he has his arms outstretched he looks a remote controlled robot designed to walk across mine fields…

    Ah, hang on….

  15. 15
    barefootcontessa says:

    Not those sandals again!

  16. 16
    barefootcontessa says:

    That is superb! Widow Twanky?! Puss in Boots?!

  17. 17
    Anonymous says:

    Yes Blair has scored an own Goal, even though he thought he craftily worded his comments like the sleazy Lawyer he is…..the public understood what he meant oh yes they did.

  18. 18
    Mr Plum says:

    Has he got a Wok on his helmet.

  19. 19
    concrete pump says:

    Maguire’s not going is he ?

    I’d save all my frozen painballs for that c*nt.

  20. 20
    Anonymous says:

    Slightly disappointing he hasn’t got the version with a ‘flap’ of kevlar covering his meat and two veg….

    Presumably it wasn’t thought valuable enough to justify the extra expense…

  21. 21

    What the hell is a blog? Never had them in my day.

  22. 22
    Matthew Hopkins says:

    Maltesers in the freezer beforehand. Approx the same calibre and much more satisfying when they scream….

  23. 23
    Guido 'Take No Prisoners' Fawkes says:


  24. 24
    Mandddddy says:

    Oh Private Parts you are so sexy when you get worked up

  25. 25
    barefootcontessa says:

    Your wasted in that caravan kharzi!

  26. 26
    Talwin says:

    Top left. A Yugoslav partisan, surely.

  27. 27
    The reincarnation of William Calcraft says:

    Dont forget your bayonet: Cold Steel, they dont like it up ‘em!

  28. 28
    Craig says:

    Presumably the LabourListers are properly equipped?

  29. 29
    CIA handbook says:

    Waterboard any prisoners

  30. 30
    Bear Grylls says:

    Don’t spend too long in the jungle or it will claim your mind and watch out for the B*stard tree.

  31. 31

    So the rest of you where really voices in Guidos head.

  32. 32
    Disco Biscuit says:

    He will be outward bound soon…

  33. 33
    Disco Biscuit says:

    Jag should have mentioned it to me, I’d have got you a discount through my brother ;)

    Best of luck!

  34. 34
    Anonymous says:


  35. 35
    Watt Tyler says:

    Here’s all the ammunition you need to shoot at both sides:

  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    If you happen to see Gordon…….do us all a favour and shoot the c*nt. Thanks

  37. 37
    pigs in space says:

    Blair – fourth rate lawyer, third rate ham actor, sine pari political whore

  38. 38
  39. 39
    Whoop says:

    get some stingballs, they don’t break on impact and just cause pain.

  40. 40
    sam_m says:

    That pic at the centre top was enough to get Barry George convicted of murder.

  41. 41
    Willsteed says:

    ‘Guido looking camp in Kampuchea’

    Or even Cambodia, as it’s actually called.

Seen Elsewhere

Javid: Let Tories Campaign For Out Vote | House
Ministry of Justice Loses Death Inquiry Data “In the Post” | TechnoGuido
Europe’s Crisis is Cameron’s Opportunity | Speccie
Sajid Javid is the Ultimate Thatcherite | Buzzfeed
Ed Argar Selected in Dorrell Seat | Leicester Mercury
88% of New Labour MPs Are Union Bods | Mark Wallace
Massively Popular Porn Site is Infecting Users | Techno Guido
Newspapers No Longer Willing to Toe Party Line | Roy Greenslade
Introducing the New CapX | CapX
Burnham’s Newsnight Debacle Dissected | Dan Hodges
How I Survived Dry January | Nigel Farage

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Dan Hodges on Labour unity

“We’ve heard a lot over the past few years about how Miliband has united Labour. But he has not united Labour. He has pacified Labour. He has placed it into a medically induced coma following the trauma of the party’s 2010 defeat.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers