December 12th, 2009

Tiger Woods / Nigel Griffiths, Naked Abuse of the Law

After the Trafigura injunction crumbled Guido canvassed the idea to interested parties that we should individually write to the major London libel law firms and say that we would not voluntarily submit to these “Whom it May Concern” injunctions thus:

Am intending to write to all the firms that send me them [super injunctions] advising that in future I will exercise my own judgement when I receive them.

If I judge it to be in the public interest I’ll forward the injunction to Wikileaks and take my chances in the Courts.

If more people told them this it would bugger up the blanket ban system. Spartacus system. They won’t know who gave it to Wikileaks…

People were genuinely positive towards the idea.  The Tiger Woods media gagging injunction which we are not even allowed to mention is now uploaded by person(s) unknown on to Wikileaks.

For good measure Schillings should note that there is also a picture of Tiger Woods partly naked and looking a complete w****r on the blog – a further breach of the “Confidential Schedule”.  Tiger Woods is not really the issue here, freedom of the press is the issue.

For example, Nigel Griffiths, an MP caught on camera with his trousers down in his office with a woman in only her stockings and suspenders, also apparently has a super injunction preventing the media from fully informing voters as to what he was up to, in the office taxpayers pay for him to work in. Enough. Guido will take his chances in the Courts.


  1. 1
    Shaun Woodward, That's Life dog says:


  2. 2
    Tachybaptus says:

    Good luck, Guido. You will need it in a world where the bad guys are in charge and make up the rules as they go along.

  3. 3
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Brave words, Guido. I’ll cough up a fiver for your fighting fund and visit you in prison.

  4. 4
    Righty Blighty says:

    Crickey, this blog attracts some shite!

  5. 5
    Nigel Griffiths MP says:

    Oi! That was my daughter in the sussies. Can’t help how the yooff of today dress can i??! and I was reaching over for a Murray Mint. See you in court Huntflap.

  6. 6
    bunnco says:

    Guido – where’s the ‘Paypal – Donate’ button so we can all contribute to your costs?

  7. 7
    anon says:

    Bet Mrs Guido is quietly watching X factor without the faintest idea Guido has left the X box to do a bit of a dirty protest in the name of democracy.

  8. 8
    Off to anywhere but here if I could. says:

    Superb – fucking lawyers and their like are what are killing freedom in this benighted country.

    Shame a can’t post a pic here but one with two fingers stuck right up would fit the bill.

  9. 9
    Anonymous says:

    Good, a bit more sunlight is required on UK public life, this persons pubic life might be a good tool to start things rolling.

  10. 10
    Baron von Rippedoffbritain says:

    They coming for you Guido, You hear that?? they are at the door!!!

    Stand completed still. Make no movements.

    You are the dead.

  11. 11
    Ruck you, Carter says:

    Ruck you!

  12. 12
    Shaun Woodward, That's Life dog says:

    Yeah, ask yer mum.


  13. 13
    Freedom of speech says:

    I thought New Labour killed freedom of speech back in 1997?

  14. 14
    D 4 Dogshit says:

    if Gordon Brown organised a disco it would be really shit

  15. 15

    so should we be saying

    Go get ‘em tiger?

  16. 16
    Off to anywhere but here if I could. says:

    Who the fuck is Simon Malcolm Smith?

  17. 17
    Simon Malcolm Smith says:


  18. 18
    Off to anywhere but here if I could. says:

    Not you, the other Simon Malcolm Smith

  19. 19
    Dick the Prick says:

    Eldrick Tont???? WTF is going on in the world?

  20. 20
    Off to anywhere but here if I could. says:

    If Gordon Brown ran a country, it would be fucked.

    Shit, he does and it is.

  21. 21
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Tiger has got wood

  22. 22
    The naked truth says:

    Naked pictures heh, gives a new dimension to Tiger’s wood!

  23. 23

    “a woman in only her stockings and suspenders had a super injection and a gag on ..

    Reads better in the Screws that way.

  24. 24
    Gonk says:

    Guido you must be rich.
    Still, you have a svelte snake hipped lawyer
    on your side don’t you.
    And think how many visitors you’d get if it all
    goes pear shaped.

  25. 25
    Fan says:

    Get in the hole!

  26. 26
  27. 27
    Aha!!!! says:

    You are Nigel Griffiths MP and I claim that £5 for everyone in here. Even TaT. I thank you.

  28. 28
    constan treader says:


    I salute your courage, your strength, your indefatigability, and I want you to know that we are with you, hatta al-nasr, hatta al-nasr, hatta al-Quds.

  29. 29
    My throbbing heart says:

    Excerpts from Cheetah Woods own blog title entries;

    “Playing Three In A Row”

    “Developing Endurance And Stamina”

    And a question from a fan back in 2008;

    “Do you enjoy playing so far away from home? I can imagine that, now that you have children, it’s got to be hard to be so far away from them.
    — Rupert from Houston

    “You’re exactly right, Rupert. Now, it’s very difficult to leave Elin and the children, and I’m sure it’s only going to get tougher. Once Sam and Charlie start school, it won’t be easy to take them out of class for a week-long trip. A veteran pro once told them it’s tough to leave them as babies, but once they ask you not to go, it breaks your heart. That’s something I’ll always remember. “

  30. 30

    Tiger’s not out of the Woods yet

  31. 31
    PDM-Cockermouth says:

    Fucking brilliant Fawkes, this is why we read. What newspaper would have those kind of stones?

  32. 32
    Fore! says:

    From the man’s own website;

    Tiger Tips;

    “Maintain A Quiet Head” …whoops.

  33. 33
    Anonymous says:

    Fair play to you Mr. Fawkes. In the age of the internet hopefully the UK will stop being used as a destination for libel tourists and also see the end of these gagging orders in the future, not so much due to our politicians seeing sense but the persuants seeing the futility of the action.

  34. 34
    William Blake says:

    Tiger, tiger, burning bright
    Caught with pants down
    Now in the shite

  35. 35
    Chad Merchant says:

    These pictures… were any ‘a la turque’? Did she take it up the chuffer? That’s what the nation demands to know – and we have a democratic right to do so!

  36. 36
    2 under for the day says:

    Cant get the wiki thing to open. Has someone got to it?

  37. 37
    It's not what it looks like. says:

    This is exactly how Brown will try to stop any mention that he was totally destroyed in the forthcoming Election Death he is soon to suffer.

    He will instruct Cart Fuck etc to put a gagging order on any mention of a Tory landslide and Brown defeat.

    Oh and for good measure he will try to ban any reference to a “Brown’s Broken Britain” and that there is an economic crisis (crisis,what crisis?).

    Soon Brown,your arse is going to be OURS!

    Fucking lying bastard.

  38. 38
    Chad Merchant says:

    Wrong hole, sir? Greek culture? Lubed, was it, sir? Oooh!

  39. 39
    Simon Malcolm Smith says:


  40. 40
    Richard I. Chavez says:

    More than you, languishing on the 43 wing, as you do…

  41. 41
    I did NOT have sex with that woman,but I did with loads of others! says:

    President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approach him.

    “What is it?” exclaims the President.

    “It’s the Abortion Bill, Mr. President – what do you want to do about it?”

    “Just go ahead and pay it.”

  42. 42
    Gonk says:

    Thank god for that, he’s gone.
    I thought for a moment I’d had
    to much to drink.

  43. 43

    The injunction stops the News of the Screws showing the good pictures.

  44. 44
  45. 45
    bernard manning says:

    What’s the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa always stops after 3 ho’s

  46. 46
    concrete pump says:

    Fuck off Dave !

  47. 47
    Boycott the Licence Fee says:

    Er, no one goes to prison for de/fam/at/ion.
    Guido, if it ever comes to the worst, insist on a jury rather than a single judge. They’ll never find against you in the current environment.

  48. 48
    Nigel's daughter in the sussies says:

    Yeah that was me. And I asked him for the murry mint.

    You still owe me £70. errr Dad.

  49. 49
    Chad Merchant says:

    Were any of these pictures, how shall I put this tastefully, *a rebours*? I do hope so!

  50. 50
    Brown to fuck off soon! says:

    From The Times;

    Gordon Brown last week addressed a private “key seats” meeting, when candidates were told to have their campaign literature ready for publication by the end of next month.

    The party’s general secretary, Ray Collins, is understood to have told No 10: “We will be ready whenever you decide to go.”


  51. 51

    But does Tiger Wood get Carbon Credits like Tata Steel. Its a bare-faced cheek if he does not ;)
    Tata, having gained up to £1.2 billion from “carbon credits”, will get its new steel plants – while the net amount of CO2 emitted worldwide will not have been reduced a jot. ….Forget Big Oil: the new world power is Big Carbon.Truly it has been a miracle of our time that they have managed to transform carbon dioxide, a gas upon which all life on earth depends, into a “pollutant”, worth more than diamonds, let alone oil. And many of those now gathered in Copenhagen are making a great deal of money out of it.”

  52. 52
    Carry On Don't Loose Your Head (1967) says:

    Well done Guido!

    The fuckers should remember there are more bloggers than drunken judges in this country. Publish and be damned!

  53. 53
    curtain twitcher says:

    “Yesterday Griffiths’ long -suffering wife of 30 years. Sally, appeared to be sticking with him.

    The pair were seen leaving their Edinburgh home shortly before noon. Sally came out first wearing a beret, and clutching a tissue.”

    The man seems to be insatiable FFS.

  54. 54
    assegai mike says:

    I pledge a minimum £50 to your fighting fund if it comes to it, and a visit in prison if it comes to it. Well done and good luck!

  55. 55
    What Carter Ruck do not want you to hear says:

    Go for it.

    Only problem is, they will use their resources to shaft the little people and throw them to the wolves who apply for injunctions to make an example out of you all and throw up counter cases and polarise the vote and debate.

  56. 56
    Mr Slater's Parrot says:

    SKREEEEEEERRKK!!! (ping) TAPTAP!!! SOORRRR-TED! (flutter)

  57. 57
    Old Holborn says:

    118, 24/7, it’s directory heaven.

  58. 58
    Chad Merchant says:

    Yes, but will these be spun key seats?

  59. 59
    Records says:

    Simon Smith, didn’t he have an amazing dancing bear?

  60. 60
    What Carter Ruck do not want you to hear says:


  61. 61
    TheCourtOfPublicOpinion says:

    Well look on the bright side – you got next Fridays caption competition sorted:

  62. 62
    Guido will be the fresh beer bum in the shower block says:

    Hey big boy you gonna pick up that soap?

  63. 63
    Old Holborn says:

    I love the 118 24 7 tune I’d love to know the guys who sing it and whether they’ll release something.. anyway utube does the trick someone posting the lyrics which is fab I made a couple of changes:

    118 24 7
    give them a call it’s directory heaven,
    if you need a cab, their service is fab,
    if you fancy a curry, and it’s there in a hurry.

    118 24 7,
    send them a text it’s directory heaven,
    want a kitchen extension, a pizza or pension,
    a plumber or sparks, or a place to see sharks.

    118 24 7… it’s directory heaven!
    (lyrics for EXTENDED version!)
    Day or Night, Dawn or Dusk,
    cause the’ve got the number,
    for a roof or venter a place to learn rumba,
    Portugese or Chinese or a nice Lebonese,
    Find a restaurant to please with the greatest of ease,
    Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, give them a ring,
    Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, the finda thing,
    118 247… it’s directory heaven!

  64. 64
    Brown - the colour of shit says:

    Talking of the law

    Another nail in the coffin of respect for the police.

    Brown’s Britain – fuck off you c*unt,we shall beat you.

  65. 65
    I think David Cameron tells good jokes says:

    Leave Dave alone you bully

  66. 66
    Mark Oaten says:

    How novel! Mind if I join you?

  67. 67
    (yes I am a cunt / no I am not nu labour) says:

    Any chance of a pic of Emily No-Mates beautiful honeydews while your at it?

  68. 68
    (yes I am a cunt / no I am not nu labour) says:

    costs for what?

  69. 69
    constan treader . says:

    should you need any kind of ‘relief’
    allow me to oblige

    You can be tiger I’ll be any one of a multitude of females

  70. 70
    nut hatch says:

    Fuck off again Dave you miserable сunt.

  71. 71
    Gonk says:

    Look, it was only that one occasion in 1999.
    Oh and once in Spain. Ok then that business with
    the revenue was just not my fault.

  72. 72
    Call me Infidel says:

    Hardly surprising that most politicians are also fully qualified ambulance chasing shysters.

  73. 73
    A Parrot says:

    SKREEEEEEERRKK!!! (ping) TAPTAP!!! SOORRRR-TED! (flutter)

  74. 74
    syd says:

    Woods is a fucking N*gger. What else do you expect?

  75. 75
    hooper dooper says:

    I really do not want to see Tiger Woods brandishing his 3 wood

  76. 76
    Mr Slater's Parrot says:


  77. 77
    constan treader . says:


  78. 78
    syd says:

    My heart really goes out to Niger Woods.

  79. 79
    Brown Hater says:

    The article mentions England and Wales only.

    Can the Irish or the Scots therefore publish?

  80. 80
    Chad Merchant says:

    Well, some red-hot anal action would be nice! Got any photos of your mother, syd?

  81. 81
    Brown Hater says:

    I need to mention, on here today, that I DO hate Brown more than anything else that I can think of.

  82. 82
    Boring Bland Corporation says:

    Jobs for the boys and girls tonight on the BBC, wonder how they rigged the vote for their own employee Chris to get in and how much Lily Allen pocketed for that shite tastic appearance.

  83. 83
    Chad Merchant says:

    I’ll say one thing for your mother, syd – she takes it like a man! Now fuck off before you get Mr Fawkes in trouble.

  84. 84
    Chad Merchant says:

    Lilly Allen… You just know she does. For crack.

  85. 85
    Tony couldn't keep his gob shut says:

    Tony Blair is a dead man walking

  86. 86
    Saddam Hussien says:

    Join the club

  87. 87
    Joseph Malik says:

    I never knew Tiger’s real name until I’d read this court order, and no, it’s not Streisand.

  88. 88
    PAGE 3 REEDA says:

    Don’t listen to this fool, we want the weather girl to pose for some saucy pics.

  89. 89
    A weese mon siad says:

    Hidden Tiger, Crotching Dragon

  90. 90
    threepence says:

    Stick it in your family…..album.

  91. 91
    Beezley says:

    Norah Batty?

  92. 92
    A weese mon siad says:


  93. 93
    A weese mon siad says:

    Blanche from Corrie? Pat Butcher from Eastenders?

  94. 94
    Reg511 says:

    I read that as ‘Papal’, almost choked

  95. 95
    Beezley says:

    >a visit in prison

    Was what Richard Ingrams dreaded from Lord Longford and the only reason, apparently, he didn’t publish something dodgy in Private Eye.

  96. 96
    Chad Merchant says:

    precislement, mon brave! Vag is far too posh for her.

  97. 97
    Joseph Malik says:

    I Wood!

  98. 98
    Geoff Hoon says:

    And while we’re in reminding mode, please don’t forget which part of the female anatomy I resemble in every possible way.

  99. 99
    A weese mon siad says:

    18 holes in a day was easey peasy for Tiger Woods.

  100. 100
    Snotty says:

    The Times reckons McDoom is going for a snap election, possibly in March as Labour is nearly bankrupt:

    Monday wouldn’t be soon enough!

  101. 101
    Brown Hater II says:

    But Blair wins by a short straw in the hate stakes, ’cause Blair facilitated Brown’s very existence.
    Brown would have been nothing without ‘I’m a regular guy’ St. Tony (now known as a war criminal)

  102. 102
    C.Eng says:

    God told him to do it, so it’s not his fault !

  103. 103
  104. 104
    C.Eng says:

    What a nasty piece of shyd you must be

  105. 105
    Anonymous says:

    I dont think we should confuse the issues here. Nigel Griffiths conduct is on the public purse so an injuction is a travesty. We demand to know what he was up to and with who ! He is a disgrace and should resign or be deselected. Labour sleaze at its worst.

  106. 106
    Arthur Haynes (Comedian) says:

    Looks like Tiger’s trouser iron has done some great bunker work recently. Well done Tiger keep it up!

    Love child as well?? Hmmm

    AH (C)

  107. 107
    Anonymous says:

    Blair has fucked up big time on this….

  108. 108
    constan treader . says:

    on the contrary
    Despite her face having been re-attached sideways I am convinced that an extraordinary pair of breasts lurk under that tweed blazer.

  109. 109
    constan treader . says:


    yur funny and yur smart
    i bet yur life achievements are very impressive

    as an example of white superiority yur what the race needs

  110. 110
    Jimmy says:

    Bizarre. There is no prohibition on photoshopping, therefore it would seem that in the event of such photos being published, they would not be able to enforce the order against anyone without proving that they were genuine.

    They make Bl@ney look good.

  111. 111
    A weese mon siad says:

    I’m putting money down that Tiger has done the business with more than 100 women.

    Come on Tiger my son help make me rich.

  112. 112
    A Pensioner says:

    Tiger’s not exactly an equal opportunities shagger.

  113. 113
    Steve Expat says:

    You call what Gordon Brown is currently doing “Running the country”?

    Running down the country maybe, or fucking up the country….

  114. 114
    A Pensioner says:

    Stockings & suspenders – man or woman?

  115. 115
    JonTod says:

    The lawyers in this case I suspect are taking advantage of the situation for a bit of money grabbing from their client. I’m sure they knew they didn’t have a cat in hells chance of really blocking the pictures – only of stopping people in the UK from casually looking at them. All the solicitors are doing is making a quick buck.

  116. 116
    Steve Expat says:

    Good on you Guido, this sort of issue is what keeps the press in this country anything but free.

    Keep up the good work, sometimes it’s philanderers like Tiger Woods, Nigel Griffiths or even Andrew Marr, sometimes it’s more serious like Trafigura.

    The principle should be the same, a free press is a free press.

  117. 117
    Ahem! says:

    Righty blighty shitey

  118. 118
    Steve Expat says:

    Tiger’s been getting too many birdies…

  119. 119
    God says:

    The c’unt misquoted me.

  120. 120
    Steve Expat says:

    More like having an almost unsuable ‘publisher’ in the Carribbean somewhere. There have been references to it before from our good host.

  121. 121
    Off to anywhere but here if I could. says:

    Sounds like a visit to the Gherkin by several hundred posters with disposable cameras here is needed. Hats with ‘Photographer’ for some and ‘Terrori$t’ for others.

    Let them sort that one out, and give the local Boots a real headache processing that lot so they can see what was photographed.

    This is what you get for voting LieBour.

  122. 122
    Off to anywhere but here if I could. says:

    Poor sod, no wonder he prefers Tiger.

  123. 123
    Anonymous says:

    Its pretty obvious they bear the filthy pawprints of tory bear.

  124. 124
    HandsomeDavid says:

    Wikileaks has an algorithm which interrogates your emails. If you are a Global Warming Denier then you will be denied access.

  125. 125
    Mr Ned says:

    Whatever happened to ‘publish and be damned’?

  126. 126
    Steve Expat says:

    Guido, is this a so-called Super Injunction, restricting even mention of it’s existance? If so the Sunday Telegraph could be in trouble for mentioning it…

  127. 127
    Mr Ned says:

    Spot on TAT, Agree with every word there!

  128. 128
    Climate change denier and proud says:

    These halfwit lawyers clearly haven’t heard of the Internet.

    There are a thousand internet sites that you can find anything out about the shagging habits of celebrities.

    The real danger is when the media suppresses information about the Government

  129. 129
    Peeping Tom says:

    Who took the piccies?

    Is the quality good?

    Remember, he had to have a camera in one hand while his cock was in the other.

  130. 130
    FrogDog says:

    No no no! Typo. It should read “ran over a country with a gravy train full of MPs and civil servants”

  131. 131
    Mr Ned says:

    So it looks like the labour party will be bankrupt by April/May then? so they have to have the election by March.

  132. 132
    Peter Jobess says:

    Wankers the lot of you! Who gives a shit about Woody, Barry or even Mandy………… tossers……….get a fucking brain……………

  133. 133
    Japanese Hostess says:

    Ling Foo!

  134. 134
    Germaine Greer says:

    Yes! I spotted a distinct lack of LGTS people or disabled wimmen in that list.


  135. 135

    Don’t SHILLings (sic) realise they are making it worse for Tiger Woods?

  136. 136
    Giuseppe Bummini says:

    You are either in front of Guido being bummed by him, or you are behind Guido bumming him?

  137. 137
    Jimmy says:

    That’s lawyers for you. Provided they get the publicity, they don’t care if everyone ends up laughing at Dorries no Woods I meant Woods.

  138. 138
    Herr Fritzl says:

    Dear Tiger,

    I am very disappointed to hear about your recent infidelities and no longer consider you to be a good role model for my children. I do however sympathize with your situation, I too have had some family problems of late and have through no fault of my own become separated from them. I also think that there is nothing more important than spending time with your family and being a good father. I wish you and your family all the best in the future and if you are looking for somewhere to get away from it all, I believe my old house is still up for sale.


    Josef Fritzl

  139. 139
    Reg511 says:

    Self confessed

  140. 140
    13eastie (145 Days: Good-bye, Gordon!) says:

    Go for it, Guido.

    When you fuck a skanky porn actress, photos are SUPPOSED to be taken, Tiger!

    Thanks to this utterly silly injunction, we now all know that “Tiger” is not half as ludicrous as his real name: ELDRICK TONT WOODS. Anyone seeking nude photos should take note this is an anagram of “DICK LETS DOWN TORSO”.

    Don’t say I didn’t warn you…

  141. 141
    Chad Merchant says:

    Look, my somnambulant, post-democratic apologist friend, if there’s been any xxx sphincter-stretching action going on in the HoC, we, oi polloi, have not just a right, but a burning need to know! And watch. Repeatedly.

    You may not like it. But I do. We don’t just want open government, we DEMAND gaping, all-she-can-take close-up shots of the alleged deed.

  142. 142
    13eastie (145 Days: Good-bye, Gordon!) says:

    Or maybe even DICK LET DOWN TORSO…

    You get the idea…

    Troppo primitivo…

  143. 143
    Judge Filth says:

    The main problem is British judges. -They are shit from the sewer. Most of the filth appointed as judges, by corrupt scum in politics, are dirty junkies, and many are perverts, paedophiles, homosexuals and dirty jews.

    British judges are liars, thieves, and corrupt scum. They have no decency or humanity or standards. The dirty trash should be burned like rubbish.

  144. 144
    Watt Tyler says:

    Bring it on! I’ll see you in court, you scum. Defend yourselves against this:

  145. 145

    […] Tiger Woods is a great golfer.  He has a few ‘issues’ with his wife and his personal conduct – which, frankly, I believe should be a private matter. What I do not want to see in our country is libel lawyers threatening all and sundry with ‘hell and damnation, contempt of court, prison, seizure of assets et al’ because some golfer fucks up and people want to to ‘extract the Michael’ .  Life is rather more serious, valuable and important than that.  We need to get a grip on superinjunctions, libel and freedom of the press.  Guido does what Guido does – and well done. […]

  146. 146
    rick says:

    Would that be a bargain basement?

  147. 147
    An Aussie says:

    Just been running a principal components analysis here at the Australian Climate Research Unit (ACRU) on the Tiger data.

    Waiting for peer review, and further funding from Soros to complete analysis, but the results so far show

    TSF = 1.0*White + 0.75*(Chest Size) +0.5 * Blond

    The TSF (Tiger Shagabilty Factor is then “normalised” on a scale 0-100. Only “scores” >50 need apply.

    PS further research needed.

  148. 148
    A Firm Pair Of Breasts says:

    I’m in just stocking and suspenders now….but I can’t find an MP.

  149. 149
    H says:

    This is so important after Tonys remarks today11111

  150. 150
    A Pensioner says:

    Man or woman?

  151. 151
    Boring Geordie Alan Price says:

    I may go out tomorrow…

  152. 152
    H says:

    soz – meant !!!!!! not the 1 things!!!!!!!

  153. 153
    Anonymous says:

    have you ever seen Obama and Tiger in the same place at any one time?Maybe they are both mixed race

  154. 154
  155. 155
    Technomist says:

    Apparently they don’t exist, which is not something one would have known unless able to read the terms of the injunction, which of course, is not something one is supposed to know exists either

  156. 156
    Technomist says:

    Can we see the bad one?

  157. 157

    Off topic, but it is the festive season.
    Happy Christmas to all thermosceptics and wrap up well!

  158. 158
  159. 159
    13eastie (145 Days: Good-bye, Gordon!) says:

    Here is a picture of Tiger Woods naked.

    He is employed by Gillette to pose naked with their razors so that this image can be broadcast world-wide. (Like most men I know, I usually wear a Pringle sweater when I can be bothered to shave, but if Eldrick prefers to do it naked, it’s really a matter for him).

    This is his occupation – part of his everyday routine.

    But the advert is now outlawed.

    Why is Schillings trying to deprive its own client of his livelihood? (And me of the useful reminders to buy new razor blades)?

  160. 160
    Arch-Duck Franz Ferdinads says:

    Sometimes ya blog is shite, but when you get it good, you get it good.

  161. 161
  162. 162

    Who the FUCK are you?

  163. 163


    Worse than Hunter Fuck

    Come and sue me, ya fuckers, if ya dare.

  164. 164
    Sir Gus says:

    I’ll fuckin fuck you up you fuck. Fuck you frogdog, watch your fuckin back. No fuckin walks in woods for you for a fuckin while. Fuckwit.

  165. 165
    Sir Gus says:

    I’m YOU bitch. Who are YOU?118 24 7, it’s directory heaven…

  166. 166
    118 247 says:

    Lol. I like this man.

  167. 167
    Voice of The People says:

    Please remove ones tongue-tip from Mr Guido Fawkes Esq’s bumhole. This is a FAMILY forum. Pervert.

  168. 168
    118 24 7 says:

    Fuck yeah! It’s a bit blurred, but here you go…..

  169. 169
    Anonymous says:

    Erm…make that “…was employed by Gillette…”

  170. 170
    Road_Hog says:

    FFS, it was a typo, ruining the country.

  171. 171
    Anonymous says:

    Apparently a partner of Schillings, whose mobile number is now all over the internet, LOL

  172. 172
    Smiley-In-Your-Stout says:

    There couldn’t be a better time for this to appear than now, with the McCanns in Portugal trying with all their legal might and money to stop the book about the Police investigation appearing in English in the UK.

    Why are our media so craven in front of the McCann machine? Why do we never hear anything about what’s in the police files, about the crucial evidence held up by the UK Police, about Gordon Brown’s involvement in the early stages (when he was Chancellor with no possible justification for getting involved).

    What super injunctions have been issued in the McCanns’ name? We know that for about a year the UK public were denied knowledge that Madeleine McCann had been made a ward of court or that public agencies had been instructed by a High Court judge to co-operate with her parents – even when they were arguidos (prime suspects) in the case.

  173. 173
    nine iron says:

    Tiger tees up his balls.

  174. 174
    Herr Fritzl says:


    There is a rather good basement space at the property, where you can get away from it all.


  175. 175
    A Parrot says:


  176. 176
    peter ellis says:

    Is that par for the course?

  177. 177
    Road_Hog says:

    Yes, I believe Gillette have now signed a contract with SuBo.

  178. 178
    mr slippery says:

    Bring it on mutha fucka’s.

  179. 179
    caesars wife says:

    Dont think ESSO will be interested in him now , although could be some money in new topless bar called frosties “there great!” .

    Com res gives conservatives 14% lead although 24% still say they will vote Labour , but what does Labour voter look like , weve had months of explanations why Labour are a mind bending disater and waste of time , I dont need convincing that they are evil crooks , so I wonder what the 24% must be thinking , the hard core of wonk marxists project are in so called safe seats , so as Darth Brown issues his bitter “you have all failed me for the last time” and tempts with a snap election , Ray collins says “comming ready or not ” , what are we to make of it .
    On the one hand the far right seem to have stopped polishing bronze busts of dead facist militarists , and decided people want roads repaired , safer streets and keep having regular spurts of belief in democracy now that they have sussed marxist NWO control freakery . The conservatives have just about decided it will not be business as usual and the task of getting back to low tax is not going to be easy as all suffer under runinomics , the economy in some aspects of personal aspirations is badly damaged , social mobility is now somthing you get if your in Labour quango land and no one is quite sure how much of future pensions have been gambled . So many of the Blair era soundbites and union echos seem so hollow now , there is no socialist solution to the scale of the ruin , massive state has sunk in its own pool of waste. In the end as with all socialism it had to bring about conscription , ID cards (personal tax) , copenhagen (global governance tax) , tobin tax (living transaction tax) . ALL the guff about giving you state eurotopia , involves the state being able to tax anything you do and recording it , its a kind of electronic stasi that tells you your free so long as you comply , and you must comply as you can never be free from the states reach.

    CW really hopes that when this is all over , some text books will be re written and the Blair/ruin will be some sort of fall of the socialist empire in high ed .

    Its no so much as this disater is some sort of left over from the cold war , its that now they have had full rein , total controll , is still a massive fail , sending people into poverty and depression , corrupting democracy , and damaging the planet.

    next week we have copehnagen wk2 , already draft agreement has trouble , yet real greenies (and not tax NWO fakers) have struggled to get some messages across , CW notes that equations, caluclations and risk analysis are of little use if you miss somthing that is of vital importance , man made global warming is having some questions asked , but taxing carbon bears no relation to , the carbon cycle as it only adress the burning , the forests do not benefit form tax (urban economies and government do) , they only benfit from clean water and very limited resource exploitation. The main fresh water rivers proivde food if clean , but nothing being said about third world industialisation (govt funded) killing rivers , or cheap workers enjoying poor urban sanitation . The fact you can close a steel plant in teeside and make £90mn out carbon credits indicates for corporatists coiffers , is the wonkness of making the rich poor for equality run by a wealthy marxist elite .

    900 people are rioting for NWO taxation run by marxist crooks , what a let down to get home and still find them polluting and using damaging agriculture in secret for tax !

  180. 180
    caesars wife says:

    i rather liked the idea of one the “hostesses !” appologising for ruining his wifes life , perhaps mary whitehouse was right all along then , pecker pleasure outside of marriage/relationship . aint no pleasure at all in the end . the Lusts/busts of labour and the desires of democrats eh !!

    CW notes how things have changed , an aqaintence who was due to get married to a nice girl was on a his useual friday night out with mates , looking cool getting pissed ,club and a curry , he was reasonable looking , as he stood at bar loverly girl came over in tight fitting number , giving cutie chat up askin which club he was off to , he knew he was on , told mates he had scored , told her he was single , went to club snogged her, she then went to toilet and never returned , he returned to his mates shrugged and carrried on getting pissed . Next day fiance turned up gave him both barrels of dissapointed chick rightous vengence , chucked photos of him with said girl . turned out she had hired a honey trap to ermm test him !!! engadgement over .

  181. 181
    caesars wife says:

    I think most men would find they are only able to do one re search an hour !!

    have done a risk assesment for sorness and hand/wrist damage

  182. 182
    Anonymous says:

    I think Michelle may be marking his card from now on.

  183. 183
    wheelbarrow man says:

    The lie looks a bit rough. I thought Tiger was a darkie though.

  184. 184
    gary grunt says:

    Why should hacks only get to see the good pictures FFS?

  185. 185
    Tomorrow belongs to????? says:

    The “polls” are all over the place but if Gordon want’s to believe YouGov then ….Go on Gordon go for it and make 60 million people very very happy

  186. 186
    Anonymous says:

    But Tiger will have to Sue himself amd his sponsors Gillette for displaying naked parts of his body, the super injunction is useless

  187. 187
    attaboy says:

    What a scrawny little runt Obama is…..and so “jumped up”

  188. 188
    udderly 'orrible says:

    Excellent Mr Fawkes.

    Marxist sc*um masquerading as a legitimate “government” have spent Liebour”s too-many-hours in power enacting one of the most authoritarian frames of reference for rule since that of a certain infamous German warmonger.

    A record that shames “liberal” Britain.

    While you’re onto the injuncters perhaps you might also rally behind the Liverpool family of hotel keepers harassed and ruined by the grotesquely termed “hate crimers”. (see Daily Nail-em today)

    Official undermining of free speech and democratic rights is persistent and insidious, smothering a dozy public in blood-red blankets of socialist filth and furthering the agenda of desert-robed camel riders and similar extremists.

    If we don’t all stand up soon we will be Jackiebooted into submission.

  189. 189
    Ran D. Newman says:

    I’m not lending you my coat again. Sketchleys were 3 weeks getting the hunny and shit out of it last time.

  190. 190
    Mitch says:

    Trying to ban anything with the internet here just makes the star look stupid and the law firm out of touch and just taking the guys money for nothing.

    Too late mate ! if they could power a space ship with bad news we could reach the stars hohoho!!

  191. 191
    Mitch says:

    Oh I forgot my wife has said if I buy any more Gillette razors she will assume Im having an affair and move to Sweden……..thanks Tiger!

  192. 192
    Vote Vote Vote for Jacqui. says:

    It seems like good olde Tiger has had more tarts than Mr.Kipling.
    Were any of these birds colourds? Were they all blonde,chubby,bimbos?
    Why have none of these young,well sort of young ladies,been Afro Carribean
    or of mixed race like the man himself?

  193. 193
    Hugh Janus says:

    You said it. Now we have Bliar hiding behind ‘secrecy’ to get him off the hook giving evidence in public:

    If it was good enough for the head of the secret intelligence service it is certainly good enough for this shyster. If he gets away with this then we are truly finished. I hope Chilcot regards this as a resigning issue – anything less will eave his enquiry in tatters.

  194. 194
    Pimble_Searcher says:

    How much is that Max cliff turd getting to talk the guy up on TV?

    The advertising sponsorship deal with Gillette remains on a razor blade’s edge, so I hear, but the one with Nike remains sure footed.

  195. 195
    udderly 'orrible says:

    Did it show him hiding the decline?

  196. 196
    Lil Olmey says:

    Does you mean it now pays to burn diamonds ?

  197. 197
    Bordeaux Binger says:

    Hear hear. Never underestimate the common sense of a jury. The possibility of going before one scares the crap out of the CPS when they try to enforce some of the more restrictive legislation passed by the present Stalinista government. That is why so may stupid cases are dropped when the victim refuses a Police Caution or a quick plea in Magistrates’ Courts. More power to Mr Fawkes, and to Wikileaks.

  198. 198
    France base liebour hater says:

    Didn’t the gruesome Balls couple obtain one of these injunctions to stop details of their expenses getting into the public domain?

  199. 199
    City of Vice says:

    Since when has Tiger Woods been Afro-Caribbean, fuckwit?

    Think I’ll take up golf. That’s clearly where the action is.

  200. 200
  201. 201
    Stan Shall says:

    They bite

    They injunct

    They make an awful fuss

    It’s no use stroking them and saying “pussy pussy puss”


    Grunting Tigers out in Indiana

    Out in, out in, out in Indiana (yuh).

  202. 202
    Two faced Liar says:

    Same thing happened to my mate. He was at his fiancee’s house the night before the wedding. Half way through the evening, fiancee and rest of family announce they have to go out – leaving little sister behind. She’s dressed very provocatively and offer to take groom upstairs for a quickie. Groom rushes out the front door – only to find bride, her parents and brother standing on the lawn!!!!

    Moral: Always remember to leave your condoms in the car.

  203. 203
    Mr Slater's Parrot says:

    (klik) (ping) SQUIIIIIIIIRRR! (stare)

  204. 204
    BillyBob ... reduce our carbon footprint, stop immigration? says:

    Majority of the great and good in Parliament are lawyers so no surprise that they create work for their own profession…..

  205. 205
    Mike Hunt says:

    That such a blanket order can be granted is absolutely frightening. And banning pictures of ‘any naked part’ of his body presumably includes photos showing his face? I take a fairly keen interest in current affairs and politics, but I wasn’t aware of just how evil a super injunction could be.

  206. 206
    RestandBthankful says:


    The Prime Mentalist becomes the first Prime Minister to ……………..

    wait for it ………………

    stay overnight in the air base at Kandahar. Now let me see. He goes unannounced so no one knows he’s there (apart from his staff and Karzi) and this is reported as a big deal, why?

    No 5 star hotel for the Prime Mentalist he sleeps in the same shity conditions that he makes our HEROES stay in month after month, year after year, and somehow because he stays overnight (surrounded by an army), unannounced to the rest of the world, this is somehow worthy of mention. Nobel Peace prize for a prize numpty in the offing perhaps? Well he’s as worthy of it as Obamarama.

  207. 207
    Quentin Davies MP says:

    ‘You can ring ma bell, ‘ell ‘ell, ring ma bell’

  208. 208
    Fees Office Clerk says:

    Sky News were fucking comparing the fat c.unt’s so called bravery to that of Churchill by virtue of the fact that he slept in a warzone overnight. GRRRRR!

  209. 209
    hooper dooper says:

    did he stay in the Pink Corner?

  210. 210
    angry old git says:

    It’s not defamation, it’s contempt. And yes, you can go to prison for it.

  211. 211
    Doc Trough says:

    Truly the Audie Murphy of the rear echelon.

  212. 212
    Off to anywhere but here if I could. says:

    So let’s get this straight.

    There is an ban on publishing photos of Mr Woods (that don’t exist, allegedly) which was instigated by a partner in the firm that raised the ban.

    Democracy, it’s what LieBour can’t abide.

  213. 213
    Oswald Spengler says:

    Is Tiger’s middle name really “Tont”?

  214. 214
    Off to anywhere but here if I could. says:

    Need to get my niblick out the play that lie.

  215. 215
    Mr Slater's Parrot says:


  216. 216
    lol says:

    nah, he wazza in da green room getting free cups a tea

  217. 217
    Chad Merchant says:


  218. 218
    Is Ed Ill? says:

    What’s wrong with Ed Balls? He can’t get his words out on the Marr Show

  219. 219
    lol says:

    they were the ones who left their children in the appartment – NOT ANYONE ELSE

    helps to be middle class sometimes

  220. 220
    sam torrence says:

    I’m gonna take my gillette blades and razor back in protest – huh!!!

  221. 221
    Roger Feddererererer says:

    ……..and me too

  222. 222
    Cheetah says:

    Eldrick Tont

    Perhaps El Dick Tonto would be more apt

  223. 223
    Anonymous says:

    Let’s hope Alchy Ada gets her shit together then.

  224. 224
  225. 225
    legless and angry says:

    OT but I see in the Mail that Squeaker Bercow wants to take a safe seat so that he cannot be unseated by Nigel Farage. The greedy grubby little fecker, I hope his missus has given him a dose of the pox.

  226. 226
    legless and angry says:

    Ding Dong!

    Oooh Mater!

  227. 227
    City of Vice says:

    Just seen Ed Balls on the BBC Marr show right. Jeez, he’s useless. Rambling, incoherent, pushy and clearly dishonest. The term shifty The more airtime Balls gets, the more votes Labour lose.

    Looking forward to the next election when the spiv Balls has his own ‘Portillo’ moment.

    It speaks volumes that this pillock is Brown’s right hand man.

  228. 228
    Anonymous says:

    Here we go….

  229. 229
  230. 230
    worried says:

    agh, british imperialism, don’t ya just luv it???

    where’s the democracy now??

    Oh, sorry, there’s never really been one – what we have is a sham, the least they can afford to give us and the most we will ever get

  231. 231
    City of Vice says:

    Typo- I meant to write :

    ‘Just seen Ed Balls on the BBC Marr show right. Jeez, he’s useless. Rambling, incoherent, pushy and clearly dishonest. To describe him as a shifty bastard is an understatement. The more airtime Balls gets, the more votes Labour lose.’

  232. 232
    Echo? says:

    The true cost of the Jonah sneaking in through the back door and signing Lisbon. This of course has been happening for some time but the Lisbon signature is now sounding the death nell. Meanwhile spansih fishermen continue to haul fish with sight of our coastline and all perfectly legally.

    “Town’s last fisherman driven out of business by EU rules”

    There were once so many fishing boats in Great Yarmouth that locals claimed you could walk across the harbour over the decks of the fleet. But now, after years of decline prompted by European Union quotas and environmental concerns over fish stocks, the town’s last full-time fisherman has announced he is quitting the industry.

  233. 233
    NS says:

    ‘Sliding down the razor blade of life…’

  234. 234
    V for Vendetta says:

    Kandahar is luxurious cimpared to Helmand FOB’s. And it’s American controlled. Why did the fuckwit not go to Bastion? British bases not safe enough? Why would that be then?.

  235. 235
    Dick the Prick says:

    He’s a twat.

  236. 236
    Tomorrow belongs to????? says:

    Now c’mon…. give Brown his due………It takes real courage to stay overnight in the midst of a highly trained,armed group of professionals who hate your guts

  237. 237
    RestandBthankful says:

    224 – The ignoramus couldn’t string a sentence together could he? Unless of course he has a speech impediment – to match his brain impediment, oh wait he’s a brainless twat.

  238. 238
    Snotty says:

    I’m very disappointed with the servicemen and women. All that weaponry and not one of them thought to shoot the bastard!

  239. 239
    AND .......the vote of the luxembourg jury is says:

    “…………British bases not safe enough? Why would that be then?…..”

    They had a vote and decided that they didn’t want him ??

  240. 240
    anon, anon, anon...... says:

    I wonder if Gorgon will be repaying the cost of his wife’s phone calls witout being asked?

  241. 241
    rocknrolla says:

    Has anyone been able to work out exactly when Tiger met Gordon Brown and had him wish him luck with his career, marriage and sponsorship opportunities – surely only the one-eyed son of the manse could bring about such a sudden fall from grace?

  242. 242
    Anonymous says:

    If Kandahar is a Yank camp then gordon will be getting 5 star Hotel Service and is probably safer thgere than Downing Street. I see Dave Spent his time with the British troops last weekend

  243. 243
    Buckingham to buck the Speaker ? says:

    Also see his “missus” been adopted as Labour candidate to fight next election too prompting calls for the Buckingham Association to de-select him as his “office” is now politically compromised. Could it be that Bercow will go down in the history books as the first Speaker to lose an election with Toriy Voters lining up to support Farage at the election ?

  244. 244
    Concerned Climate Change Believer says:

    I am getting increasingly concerned about Brown’s ever more frequent and unnecessary trips to Afghanistan for photo opportunities, and the amount of CO2 these trips are generating.

    Only last week he was lecturing the world on the dangers of CO2 and was handing over billions to other countries to help them fight global warming.

    Hasn’t anybody told him about video conferencing, internet video and chat facilities, or even email if he wants to say hello to Karzai or a few British soldiers and generals?

  245. 245
    Agent 99 says:

    The only contempt I have is for the persons covering up their indescretions while dictating and moralising to the rest of us.

  246. 246
    Old Nick Heavenly(real dimwit) says:


  247. 247
    Labour thought-crime unit leader says:

    Actually we just modernised it. Labour party members have it, immigrants have it, EU commissioners have it, prisoners have it, BBC staff have it. You, on the other hand, white male racist, do not.

  248. 248
    The gullibility of the gullible says:

    Look – you’re talking about the next Labour leader and Prime Minister you know. Once Gordon has lead the party to a resounding fourth victory in March Ed will be made Chancellor and then after Gordon has presided at the Olympics in 2012(to the plaudits of the World’s Media)he will step down and support Ed for Prime Minister.

  249. 249
    Agent 99 says:

    apparently its now 11 holes at the last 11 birdies.

  250. 250
    Harriet Harman says:

    Just for reference, I haven’t slept with Tiger Woods.

  251. 251
    Mitch says:

    The thought of balls stopping people working with kids when he looks like the creepiest peado on the planet is so nu-labia.
    What an odious little shit he really is, I hope I see his “Portillo” moment.

  252. 252

    12 Noon
    Saturday 23rd January 2010
    Trafalgar Square

  253. 253
    Anonymous says:

    Don’t be daft! Of course Chilcot will not resign over this. He was selected to ensure a whitewash result to the enquiry.

  254. 254
    Agent 99 says:

    Could be? It certainly sums him up to a tee

  255. 255
    BillyBob ... reduce our carbon footprint, stop immigration? says:

    Hmmmm……have you told him where he can find you ma’am??

  256. 256
    England expects every man to do his duty. says:

    A VC with Bar for the first soldier to blow Brown’s brains out AND send the press a photo – no super injunction there,my boy,more like SUPER DOOPER HURRAH BROWN IS DEAD!

  257. 257
    Agent 99 says:

    Whats the difference between Tiger woods and Gordon Brown?

    One pitches to get out of a bunker while the other pitches to stay in.

  258. 258
    Suffolk Punch says:

    Thats why cameras have image stabilisation…

  259. 259
    Lil Olmey says:

    Don’t they get issued with blanks any time McRuin shows his snotty gurning face ?

  260. 260
    A Parrot says:

    (klik) (ping) SQUIIIIIIIIRRR! (stare back)

  261. 261
    barefootcontessa says:

    He’s worse than a twat.

  262. 262
    The Trouble With Balls. says:

    Watched it while in the gym,laughing out loud so much the woman next to me (had a nice arse actually,Tiger) must have thought I was bonkers.

    Nazi Balls really is a very odd git – I am sure there is a wire in his head that has become disconnected – he speaks and then has to stop while his brain catches up.

    If he EVER got the PM or Chancellor role,he would be demolished within seconds – by himself.

    As for shifty – there is no person so repugnant – you really can see him in the death camps explaining to a group of Jews that it really IS a shower and to hurry along cos he has other more important things to do.

  263. 263
    Nuts says:

    What’s right with Ed Balls?

  264. 264
    Wrong Wrong Wrong says:

    What’s the odd impediment between friends – after all there’s only another 60 million Brits to choose from.

    What’s wrong with NOT being able to write,spell,speak,think,calculate,tell the truth,represent your nation,inspire a nation,lead people to greater things,have a vision,take people with you and just generally be able to speak normally with those around you – after all,it’s only the job of PRIME Minister!

    Brown and Balls – same letter of the alphabet,same fate – ELECTION DEATH.

  265. 265
    English Liberation Front says:

    Yes, one of New Labour’s nastier little spuds.

  266. 266
    Climategate says:

    Global warming is recent?

    So why was there no ice at the North Pole in 1958 and 1959?

  267. 267
    Sarah Brown says:

    I did not sleep with Gordon Brown nor Tiger Woods

  268. 268
    IQ says:

    That’s easy. Nothing.

  269. 269
    bandersnatch says:

    Go for it, Guido!

  270. 270
    Peter Mandelson says:

    I’ve had them both

  271. 271
    English Liberation Front says:

    They’re creepy and they’re kooky,
    Mysterious and spooky,
    They’re all together ooky,
    The Ballses Family.

  272. 272
    bandersnatch says:

    He’s taking lessons from the bears.

  273. 273
    barefootcontessa says:

    Saint Tony of Assisi!

  274. 274
    English Liberation Front says:

    Good questions. Something stinks.

  275. 275
    The Pig's Bollocks says:

    He’s got the right surname and wife.

  276. 276
    Anonymous says:

    Justice Eady granted the injunction, there’s a surprise!

  277. 277
  278. 278
    Sarah Browns turkey baster says:

    I very much regret having cheated on Bernard Mathews and will be having a hiatus from professional basting
    Thank you all

  279. 279
    Ratsniffer says:

    Balls is one of the most repugnant of this generation of Numarxist politicians, though he has some stiff competition.

    Though I don’t know what he is like face to face, on TV and in the commons he comes across as arrogant and nasty, with a school bully persona and a smug shit-eating grin.

    No amount of coaching by smoothie media spinmiesters will change him; and he and his type, and their complete disconnect with the lives of ordinary people, is a major reason why the public are deserting Zanulabour in droves…

  280. 280
    barefootcontessa says:

    Hidden gems curled up on the sofa.

  281. 281
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    This is what happens if you get a birdie in the wrong hole.

    He’s not as good at staying out of the rough as we thought he was.

  282. 282
    barefootcontessa says:

    Doesn’t scan.

  283. 283
    RestandBthankful says:

    Has the world noit been warming since the ice age?

  284. 284
    RestandBthankful says:

    Sorry that was a posh moment “noit” should have read not.

  285. 285
    Bri says:

    The old guy that was thrown out of the Labour Party Conference didn’t have it,and he was a Labour Party member.

  286. 286
    Sally Bercow says:

    Did we meet on the circle line Mr Baster?
    I was probably very drunk with legs akimbo

  287. 287
    barefootcontessa says:


  288. 288
    RestandBthankful says:

    Since he is an English judge in England and Wales does that mean that his sooper dooper injunkshions don’t apply in Scotland. Does that mean I can publish an English translation of Amaral’s book on my website and piccies of the naked Eldrick (should that be BallDick) as well?

  289. 289
    barefootcontessa says:

    Santa comes down the chimney.

  290. 290
    Ratsniffer says:

    You are a climate change denier. You will be awoken at 2am by an armed and masked squad from the newly formed EU Klimate StormenTroopenpolitzie and escorted to Camp 1057/01 for “re-education”

    Your family will be billed for your costs, unless of course, our re-education programme should have a negative outcome and your stay has to be “terminated”.

  291. 291
    barefootcontessa says:

    Old Holborn did this one yesterday.

  292. 292
    Joe Public says:

    Schillings’s communication is crap.

    1. They mention only photos taken by “X” & “Y”, but some may have been taken by “Z”.

    2. Someone really ought to know that parentheses come in pairs. [Unlike Mr Woods who apparently has come in many more.]

  293. 293
    Sarah McUnt says:

    I feel her pain.

  294. 294
    barefootcontessa says:

    What’s that slimy Fern on? Oh, it’s the religious drug,…. I forgot.

  295. 295
    Prime Minister Gordon Brown says:

    “I’m repaying the cost of the telephone calls because it’s the right thing to do. Nobody asked me to. I did it myself.”

  296. 296
    barefootcontessa says:

    Tony says,…….”don’t keep getting at me, ‘cos I’m the right kinda guy, and I support the right kinda god.

  297. 297
    barefootcontessa says:

    What is his real name?

  298. 298
    Anonymous says:

    You can see why this shower are so keen to monitor internet use.

  299. 299
    barefootcontessa says:

    Mashie niblick.

  300. 300
    concrete pump says:

    Why don’t you fuck off Sid.

    You prick !

  301. 301
    Tech Guys says:

    Is the scanner’s power light on?

  302. 302
    barefootcontessa says:

    Get Tiger into perspective, he’s just a randy golfer.

  303. 303
    Golf Balls says:

    Yvette Cooper?Tiger Woodn’t.

  304. 304
    Moley says:

    The courts in this country are a sick joke and worth nothing but utter contempt.
    It has been my personal experience that wives and mothers in the family court can ignore court orders completely which seriously affect the lives of children and their fathers. The courts are not interested and do not even make the slightest attempt to enforce their orders.

    The only thing that would stop me from breaking this particular court order, (were I in a position to do so) is human decency, which quality appears to be have been severely lacking in this episode.

    The Courts cannot have it both ways; either all orders are defended by the full power and dignity of the court, or none are.

    Were I in a position to break a court order and were it in my power and interest to do so, I would do it without hesitation.

    The Law Lords have only themselves to blame; the contempt of the public for the Court system has been strenuously earned by a crooked and corrupt upper house and a court system which wields justice in an arbitrary fashion which pays far more attention to the wealth of the parties concerned than it does to law and public interest.

    Never has their been such a gulf between law and justice.

  305. 305
    barefootcontessa says:

    Did he really sleep under canvas with his braces over his pyjamas? (rumour I’ve just heard).

  306. 306
    barefootcontessa says:

    Would you buy a second hand car from that man?

  307. 307
    barefootcontessa says:

    Stop! You’re getting me all excited!

  308. 308
    Golf Balls says:

    Yvette?Tiger wouldn’t

  309. 309
    Never were so many gulled by so few says:

    BBC ecstatically spinning that Brown is the first PM since CHURCHILL(we’ll just repeat that …CHURCHILL) to spend the night in a warzone!!!
    They continue rather breathlessly that he wished to see-IN SOME SMALL WAY the hardships our troops undergo……………………..what they actually mean is that as usual Brown is using our armed services for electioneering purposes(expect footage of “BRAVE” BROWN AT THE FRONT in forthcoming Labour party political broadcasts)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  310. 310
    barefootcontessa says:

    Stop Press!!!!! Cherie’s had 4 immaculate conceptions!!!! Tony’s only ever slept with a bible.

  311. 311
    A weese mon siad says:


  312. 312
    A weese mon siad says:

    Georgie is making PROPA promises on the beeb right now.

  313. 313
    Sox says:

    He’s got a serious speech impediment.

  314. 314
  315. 315
    RestandBthankful says:

    Bobaintbustinagut on the Politics show now. According to him we are living in “uncertain times”. Talking about trident.

  316. 316
    A weese mon siad says:

    Tiger has a small willy which is surprising considering the stereotypical jokes usually made.

  317. 317
    Anonymous says:

    Just a simple matter of removing the “the” in the last line and it scans perfectly well.

  318. 318
    Steve Expat says:

    They Deserve to be ejected into orbit

    – Boris, talking about the Labour party, on the Marr show this morning. Brilliant!

  319. 319
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Tiger didn’t want to marr his reputation.

  320. 320
    In another world says:

    While in London last Thursday,I walked along Fleet St and thought I would pop in to the Law Courts.

    I ended up in the No 4 court – with the Lord Chief Justice of England & Wales presiding himself as that is evidently his own court.

    Amazingly he is actually called Igor Judge and Baron Judge and so is known as Lord Judge – surely Mandelson has already nabbed that particular title already for himself?

    As my wife said,when he was simply a Judge,was he called Judge Judge? Or was it Baron Judge Judge or Judge Baron Judge,or even Judge Judge Baron (Cohen?).

    Sitting there for 90 minutes showed me very clearly how out of date this system is.

    Like entering an 18th century costume drama – they are literally in another world.

  321. 321
    udderly 'orrible says:

    His boywife?

  322. 322
    udderly 'orrible says:

    He wants to create an entirely new seat within the boundaries of parliament so only MPs can vote for him. The berk.

  323. 323
    Dave "Cast Iron Guarantee" Cameron says:

    A BBC News Headline reads, “Palace denies William taking on duties of Queen”. Too right…

    …nobody will replace Freddie Mercury for me.

  324. 324
    udderly 'orrible says:

    Well the world’ best news agency (now Canadian owned) got that wrong didn’t it, the evil injunction covers England and Wales only.

  325. 325
    caesars wife says:

    CW gives Boris this weeks best andrew marr performance he manged to insert “nasty” into leftest !! and ta tdaa got marr to admit to Loretto . Ed balls tried to make the case that were not going to say that we now think everyone is a peadophile as some how being better !! but totally evaded treasury questions

    Ruin in Afghanistan , surprise visit , so ime not tony blair who is the war criminal !! Teflon tone does surprise pre chilcot interview robust place in history you wouldnt think he presided over ruinomics , thanks for the debt tony , was the ruin really the greatest chancellor of all time??

  326. 326
    Simon Smith's Wife says:

    “Apparently a partner of Schillings, whose mobile number is now all over the internet, LO”

    Please don’t send him any obnoxious texts.

    07712 183996

  327. 327
    rain man says:

    Global Warming nutjobs freeze their balls off in Copenhagen.

  328. 328
    Beezley says:

    Old Felchborn — thx for the link, where I found this fascinating nature-film:

  329. 329
    Plane stoopid says:

    But if you put your personal copy of the super injunction on Wikileaks, won’t the Dear Mr fawkes give the game away?

  330. 330
    retro says:

    He’s gone back in the closet for good.

  331. 331
    mr sausage says:

    Mummy never had much time for sausages.

  332. 332
    swinging dick says:

    Gillette have squandered a golden advertising opportunity.

    “Be like Tiger, get more holes in one with Gillette.”

  333. 333
    anon, anon, anon...... says:

    He’ll just ask the nearest MP for one of those redactable felt-tips

  334. 334
    Anonymous says:

    How come Tiger goes for White trash?

  335. 335
    Chunky (the man with the pineapple bollocks) says:

    That’s why Queen re-formed under the name,
    ‘Right fred’s dead’

  336. 336
    Snaps says:

    Nigel Griffiths, an MP caught on camera with his trousers down in his office with a woman in only her stockings and suspenders

    Who was the snapper? Third party or self portrait?

  337. 337
    once you've had black, you never go back says:

    Once you’ve had white, you think the rest are shite.

  338. 338
    Anonymous says:

    Shitting himself in the woods

  339. 339

    And yet, meanwhile, we are all sliding to hell faster and faster. Mr Darling has just kicked our fragile economic recovery so hard that it will falter and go into reverse. And Brown, well… The Weekender. Brown dishonours everything he touches, we find out how much a place on the Privy Councils costs and we see the end to the recovery, thanks to the Darling of the accounts

  340. 340

    Nobody seemed to know about who took the photo. Him. Her. Or someone else. Any of those answers is tacky and horrible.

  341. 341
    Croydon facelift says:

    ‘He is lovely. It’s just the beatings I dont need’

  342. 342
    NOW says:

    He (Nigel Griffiths) took them, dozens of them according to the NOW. His excuse is that he was as pissed as a handcart, looking at the photo of his wife I reckon he was a tad frustrated.

  343. 343
    A weese mon siad says:

    can you just walk into a court and watch a case then? I might have found a new hobby

  344. 344

    Yes, I think you are right.

  345. 345
    Professional Dogger says:

    Black pussy tastes rancid that’s why.

  346. 346
    SO17 says:

    Ooh even the journo’s are at it.My mate caught a press waller licking out some girl in the press cafeteria.
    Having read the comments and suggestions book myself I know the food aint THAT good.

  347. 347
  348. 348

    The scan was a bit fuzzy – Edelweiss I think

  349. 349
    Anonymous says:

    You look like a CUNΤ in anything dear.

  350. 350

    Tiger needs to give his a wood a rest

  351. 351
    Gordon says:

    And This

  352. 352
    Anonymous says:

    Be nice to the ushers and they start saving you seats!

  353. 353

    At least while he is giving evidence we’ll know where he is going to be and when – any Albanians in the house?

  354. 354
    Scientific evidence says:

    Can we test the strength of the hat that shit for brains is wearing – perhaps by using an axe – you hold him down I will cut his grotty head off at the neck and then we drop the head from the top of the other prick’s bell tower,preferably on Ball’s Nazi head.

    Nothing like a scientific experiment eh?

  355. 355
    Rogerborg says:

    Outer Party though, not Politburo.

  356. 356
    Moley says:

    The Parliamentary Standards Commission looked into the Nigel Griffiths affair and saw no grounds for action.

    Read the article, (link above), and see if you can agree.

    Every single person on the Parliamentary Standards committee needs to be kicked off it in disgrace. The committee is itself responsible for the removal of all standards and the destruction of Parliament’s reputation.

    Dissolve the committee.

  357. 357
    Brown - the colour of shit says:

    And that outfit is just to protect him from the BRITISH soldiers…..

    Hey, Brown – you piece of dog excrement – we are going to blow your political life to pieces – bring it on you utter Hunt.

    Name the day you fraudster and we shall annihilate you – wipe you and your thugs off the political map forever.

    Brown – the greatest coward the world has ever known.

  358. 358
    hooper dooper says:

    If Gordon Brown made a meat pie, it would be full of sinew and gristle, it would have thick Ed Balls semen salty crust on top, with Yvette Copper plaster of paris pastry flowers – a total fucking disaster whether or not you like meat pies

  359. 359
    Brown - the colour of shit says:

    In acid

  360. 360
    Egon Ronnay says:

    Was this Sunday brunch or the whole roast he was having?

  361. 361
    Incapability Brown says:

    Brown took them because he was told it was the money shot and wanted to ensure he got some of the money.

  362. 362
    Jonah says:

    “Gordon Brown: I’m backing Stacey Solomon”

    Gordon Brown has revealed that he and his family are backing Stacey Solomon to win The X Factor.

  363. 363
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Camerhoon also had a copper to protect him from soldiers
    Easy to spot, he is the one with the best kit

  364. 364
    An Edinburgh Labour MP says:

    Couldn’t agree more.

  365. 365
    Stacey Solomon says:

    Im fucking doomed

  366. 366
    In another world says:

    Er no,I forgot to mention,I was sitting in the dock on a quadruple murder attempt charge;

    Gordon Brown
    Harriet Spunkperson
    Nazi Balls
    Jack Fuckhead Straw

    Judge Judge or whatever he is gave me a Distinguished Service Cross with ten free passes to their Bar.

    Yes,seriously you can – just watch out for the sirport style metal/baggage detectors.

    Bloody fascinating – I was going to shout out to Judge Judge “Ere Judge,is this where they will be prosecuting Brown and Balir next year?”,but he fixed me with a SUPER hard stare at one point and I had to go and change my trousers.

  367. 367
    That's Democracy says:

    What is the point commentating on something as laughable as the Parliamentary Standards Committee? There are no standards. The whole lot need to be cleared out. Change will only arrive when it suits the scum who fleece the country and dwell in something pathetic known as “Parliament.”

    On the subject of dress, yes, this remains important. The illusion of tradition it is designed to provoke, with old fraudsters wearing hilarious wigs and tottering around in long frocks, invites identification with something that is, apparently “inherently British.” Alas people seem to fall for this. I watched, with mounting amazement, Saxe-Coburg Gotha, a trougher without peer, makes some kind of speech about parliament/policy. To say it was idiotic would be to underplay the pathetic, awful and embarrasing spectacle. The most disappointing thing of all is that the British continue to fall for this.

    Still think you are living in a democracy?

  368. 368
    Technomist says:

    Does anyone have a photo?

  369. 369

    And she was, poor girl. The odious Olly Murrrrrs won yesterday.

  370. 370

    He probably bought his own from Silvermans. You know. The place Brown and Ainsworth want our troops to buy their own kit from?

  371. 371
    Fore! ward to the future says:

    So with Tiger Woods running riot around the white trash of the US,can we expect some amazing golfers to pop up in about 20 years time?

    Imagine,there could be a whole British Open Tournament in about 2030 with hundreds of these lookalikes teeing off one after the other – better lock up your daughter’s daughters………

  372. 372

    But then he wished them a really good time and… eh… well, we know what power rests in Brown’s hands, don’t we?

  373. 373
    William Shakesspeare says:

    Surely removing the words “Now in the shite” from the last line and substituting “and willy hanging out” would be the better solution.

  374. 374

    Then put it to the side of the plate and eat your veg.

  375. 375
    Baroness Botchland says:

    How would you know , you fucking fruit?

  376. 376
    thehotwombat says:

    “apparently has a super injunction preventing the media from fully informing voters as to what he was up to, in the office taxpayers pay for him to work in”

    whilst im all for open government all all that, do you really think the worlds needs, neigh, WANTS to see what the human inequivalent of a frying-pan reject bin looks like?!

  377. 377
    Stacey Solomon says:

    You’re not the real Stacey Solomon, I am. OMG, OMG, OMG, I just posted for the first time on a blog. All this fame’s going to me head. OMG.

  378. 378

    He only managed 71 last week, but he was feeling under par that day…

  379. 379
    Anonymous says:

    In the case I briefly saw,the prosecution and defence both admitted they had been unable to get the media software working on their laptops during the lunch break to understand what had been said re some taped evidence.

    Our Learned Judge said that while he would not ask for it to be transcribed by 4pm (this was Thursday 2pm),he would ask that it be translated by…..(relatives crane their necks forward in anticipation that he will say Friday morning) next Wednesday (cue relatives literally gasping with frustration).

  380. 380
    the pro from dover says:

    This is a nightmare for poor Cheetah.

    I was exposed to a photo of him topless with a dangerous implement……

    …. naw, a four-blade razor …..

    Surely his sponsors are now in breach of the injunction?
    This is terrible, the whole foundation of our consumer society is now under threat.

    I can’t go on, I’m a nervous wreak. My golf game will never recover.

  381. 381
    P Mandelson says:

    Talking of head…..

  382. 382
    Colonel Sanders says:

    Twas a KFC meal – finger lickin’ good.

  383. 383
    Tracey Essex says:

    Hiya Stac

    Do ya wanna borra me swing levver coat

    Luv ya

    Bye X X

  384. 384
    Gonk says:

    One of the worst, no laughable character flaws
    about Balls is that he thinks he can play football.

    He shouts a name on the pitch hits a hopeful heave
    upfield and absolves himself of personal responsibility.

    It ends up on the roof of a bungalow.

  385. 385
    Ratkins says:

    Did anyone notice there are no less than 4 references on this letter – four lawyers at a average of £400 per hour to write this incomprehensible garbage – they saw Tiger the cash cow comming.

  386. 386
    Tracing Balls says:

    Balls has just GOT to be related to Adolf Hitler (he only had one) – is this why he refuses to appear on;

    “Who Do You Think You Are?”

    And the boy wonder Cooper – there’s got to be a “Braun” there somewhere,and I don’t mean the shaver.

  387. 387
    Sweaty Balls says:

    Harsh !! But absolutely right on fair.

  388. 388
    Sweaty Balls says:

    You guys seem to have got my number.

  389. 389
    firstlight40 says:

    Guido, is that photo of the PM in afghanistan with the troops for real – looks photoshopped to me. Worth an investigation? Can’t believe any of our troops would stand with the Jonah, not worth their lives (literally!)

  390. 390
    Nuts says:

    Where is Fawkes?Come in,Fawkes,over.

  391. 391
    We,The People says:

    Joke Joke Joke,bring em on Dave

  392. 392
    Dave "Cast Iron Guarantee" Cameron says:

    Alright – just the one for the moment;

    A Policeman pulls a blonde in a sports car over for speeding and is trying to explain to her what and where her driver’s license might be. After she eventually gives him her driver’s license, he asks for registration.

    Getting another blank blonde look from her, he explains, “It’s that little piece of paper you get with your car and you keep it in the glove compartment.”

    “Ah,” she says as she bends over to get it. While she is looking through the glove compartment, the officer unzips his pants and pulls his member out.

    Excited that she had found her registration, she turns around and looks up. A look of dismay crosses her face and she says, “Oh, no! Not another breathalizer test!”

  393. 393
    Unsworth says:

    Difficult to judge, really.

  394. 394
    What a mess says:


    A Suit
    A white shirt
    A Green Helicopter Hat
    A blue flak jacket (hopefully with the material taken out and replaced with rolled up copies of Brown’s condolence letters).

    At least can we get a PM to LOOK half decent and with just a grain of gravitas!

  395. 395
    Anonymous says:

    Well, I’m not encouraging piracy but torrents of “A.Verdade.da.Mentira.(The Truth of.Lie)” are ‘out there’…

  396. 396
    Schillings says:

    He’s been Super injuncted.

  397. 397
    Anonymous says:

    Won’t be a problem for much longer if Jack Straw has his way. Juries would be a thing of the past in his vile little vision for our future.

  398. 398

    Thought you preferred Tongan rug, you fat useless tart.

  399. 399
    The Dirty Rat says:

    The BBC announced that when he stayed overnight he had to share toilets with others. I bet they had to put a lock on them to keep him from ‘cottaging’.

  400. 400
    Ratsniffer says:

    It was a taco – with cheese sauce.

  401. 401
    Ratsniffer says:

    Dirty rat – they’ve been busy filling in the glory holes in the toilet walls ever since…

  402. 402
    The Dirty Rat says:

    I have got to say that when you zoom in, the bloke on his right has his left foot in a very strange position and it would be touching Broon’s fight foot. Who the fuck would want to do that!

  403. 403
    Dave "Austerity" Cameron says:

    This year some prostitutes are offering free sex to anyone attending the UN Global Warming summit. Although if you do sleep with a prostitute at the Global warming summit just remember to cap your emissions.

  404. 404
    Doh - it's TAT says:

    Heh dickhead – you forgot your normal “spastic” mention.

    Takes one to know one,eh?

  405. 405
    barefootcontessa says:

    How is it that St. Tone needs so many heavys to look after him? I’d have thought his god would’ve done that.

  406. 406
    Tiger"Chubby" Woods says:

    I reckon I’ll follow Dave Cameron’s example and become a stand up comedian

    I always remember my mother’s funeral. As they were carrying out the coffin they accidentally bumped into a wall, which was followed by a knocking sound. They opened the coffin and found that she was still alive. She lived for another 10 years.

    I also remember the looks my father got at her second funeral after he demanded the pallbearers “Watch out for the fucking wall this time!”

  407. 407
    anon, anon, anon...... says:

    Makes a good ‘ shot ‘for the crosshairs Guido

  408. 408
    Anonymous says:

    By his missus.

  409. 409
    Baroness Botchland says:

    You were lovely, but a bit rancid my tastes.

  410. 410
    Francis Futurama says:

    Insightful summary, especially agree that ID Cards are primarily for personal taxation; I have always argued this. The day ID Cards are scrapped on cost grounds would signal the start of the most desperate phase of the Nu Labour scam yet, as it would indicate that we are now so bankrupt as to be unable to afford to generate the new regime necessary to squeeze blood out of the stone to pay for the banking disaster. Of course, whatever announcement on ID Cards, the cards themselves are dispensible in the grand scheme of things, as long as the NIR database is retained.

  411. 411
    Anonymous says:

    Justice Eades? might have known – is he paid by Schillings?

  412. 412
    Not Up To Par says:

    How many more will be coming out of the woodwork?

  413. 413
    ali bongo says:

    We can cut and paste our own jokes now you сunt.

    No fucking cigar.

  414. 414
    Jimmy says:

    Hello mum, I’ve finally made it to pseuds corner….

  415. 415
    Galileo says:

    Fuck the science, as long as it works.

  416. 416
    Mitch says:

    pity the poor fucker who gets that room next eh? better its hit by a mortar for all concerned.

  417. 417
    white trailer trash bimbos says:

    We saw him coming alright…..

  418. 418
    13eastie (146 Days: Good-bye, ☭ordon!) says:

    Looks a complete сunt. ✔

    Looks like Ram Man.✔

  419. 419
    Camels Arse says:

    Jesus titty fucking christ Jimmy why do you do it?
    You are like ‘Disgusted from orpington’ who writes too the BBC saying,
    ‘I had to stay up till 3 in the morning so I could see the filthy film and get all disgusted’

  420. 420
    conrad belushi says:

    According to most of the women who felt the force of Tigers wood, he didn’t even buy them a dinner or fuck all else, the Shylock.

    Who can blame them for coming out like gays at a BBC wankfest, and making some belated dosh?

  421. 421
    Ed Balls says:

    I want to make it quite clear, I am not a CIA agent.

  422. 422
    Jimmy says:


  423. 423
    Mary Mungo and Midge says:

    It was a mercy killing.
    The Tories after giving it a good kicking had left it for dead it was the only decent thing to do.

  424. 424
    Mary Mungo and Midge says:

    What’s wrong with Edwords Balls? He can’t get his out on the Marr Show

  425. 425
    fachers fault innit says:

    Say hi to Alister, Syd

  426. 426
    F. OFF D. LOTTAYA. says:

    Schillings …. isn’t that the firm used by Jonathan Woss to prevent disclosures regarding him and his family?

  427. 427
    Donald Rumsfeld says:

    As we know,
    There are known knowns.
    There are things we know we know.
    We also know
    There are known unknowns.
    That is to say
    We know there are some things
    We do not know.
    But there are also unknown unknowns,
    The ones we don’t know
    We don’t know.

  428. 428
    Anonymous says:

    So having seen the order can I now ring that mobile number for Simon and ask him if it is alright for me to view any naked parts of Tiger Woods. Do you think they do reverse charges????

    So in effect Tiger and his team has made it illegal to show images that have naked parts of him. Like all those adverts. Hummm might be a bit of an own goal that one.

  429. 429
    No Fingers Justice Hands says:

    Mr Justice Eady says no.

    Those shoes are sooo last season.

    Whatta name, whatta guy.

  430. 430
    Tiger Wood? No, he has says:

    No, it was Noggin the Nog who was Nogging, not Tiger.

  431. 431
    stop the facists says:


  432. 432
    Lord Chancellor Oily Jack says:

    Send him down.

  433. 433
    Cut Lass says:

    Tiger’s Gillette razor blades?

  434. 434
    Mini Haha says:

    ma’am? Harriet?

  435. 435
    Sally B says:

    I can’t remember if I slept with Tiger, but maybe it was that Thursday afternoon when tea was off.

  436. 436
    Pa Renthasis says:

    ‘parentheses come in pairs’

    (I’ll take two then )

  437. 437
    Anonymous says:

    Badly packed kebab?

  438. 438
    Piston Broke says:

    How come (cum) neither the dead tree press or the blogosphere reported on TWs liaisions until now? It has been going on for some little while.

    The cover up is reminiscent of that with JF Kennedy’s affairs. Or has one “super injunction” just expired & the truth can now be told?

  439. 439
    Dawn Butler MP says:

    I’m Brown’s Butler don’t y’know! Hell, wasn’t exactly selected on merit!

  440. 440
    Pull this leg it has bells on it says:

    So Why doesn’t Marr tell the audience at the start of the inerview?

    “My next guess from no fault of his own can’t string two words together properly”

  441. 441
    Archie says:

    Spot on, Tachy! Having had dealings with our so-called justice system.

  442. 442
    Ratkins says:

    Yes and to stop pictures of him playing tennis with David Badell. Also lawyers for Roman Polanski, Alisher Usmanov, the Government of Saudi Arabia, Northern Rock….. that Icelandic bank and other luminaries like Sassou-Nguesso – and not to forget the case of Caprice and the forged letter.
    John Kelly gave an interview in FT this weekend touting for work from more bankers – just a consonant away.

  443. 443
    Archie says:

    They’ll love him, won’t they?

  444. 444
    Archie says:

    I would!

  445. 445
    Archie says:

    ‘When Mr.Slater’s parrot says “hello”

  446. 446
    Archie says:

    That gear went out years ago!

  447. 447
    Archie says:

    Introducing General de Gaulle on accordion. Really wild, General!

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Newspapers No Longer Willing to Toe Party Line | Roy Greenslade
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