December 4th, 2009

‘The John Bercow Guide’ on How to Pick Up Drunk Women

Yesterday Mrs Bercow told the Standard of her “ladette” two bottles of wine and one night stands past. Many often wonder how the pint-sized Speaker managed to end up with the six foot something “cross between Jerry Hall, Lady Macbeth and Eva Peron” and now thanks to this morning’s Metro everything becomes clearer:

Speaker John Bercow has been credited as the author of a sex tip guide which told men how to “pick up drunk girls … ‘The John Bercow Guide’ to understanding women” appeared in ‘Armageddon’, a Conservative student magazine, in 1986 – when Bercow was a Lambeth councillor. The guide included categories on ‘How to pick up drunk girls’, ‘How to pick up virgins’, ‘How to pick up refined girls’, ‘How to get rid of a girl during sex’ and ‘How to get rid of a girl after sex’.

Like global warming, the John Bercow Guide’s pick-up strategies are an interesting theory.  Guido isn’t entirely sure lines like “If you’re free later maybe we could go back to your place and name your breasts” ever really work.  In fact funnily enough Guido can’t recall Bercow even having a girlfriend back in those days.  Anyway he has done well to land an experienced girl like Sally, particularly now she has sobered up.

Guido thinks Sally looks vaguely familiar, but it was over a decade ago, Guido was very, very drunk that night and was never good at remembering names…

UPDATE : Bad Al Campbell, another reformed drunk, is sticking up for Sally. What a surprise…


  1. 1
    Mrs. Iain Dale says:

    oh matron, i’m first!

  2. 2
    Mr Ned says:

    Vote for farage to defeat this little fuckwit

  3. 3
    Sir William Waad says:

    He: “Am I the first man you ever made love to?”

    She: “Could be…your face looks familiar.”

  4. 4
    concrete pump says:

    Phwoaarr !!!! I would, at the drop of a hat.

    Has Bercow got a ten incher or something.

  5. 5
    Stud says:

    I assume that horse Bercow is petting is a miniature pony.

  6. 6
    Lord Carrington's binoculars says:

    Like global warming…..

    Indeed, indeed.

    Check out this piece of pro-Labour propoganda on the BBC website

    The rich have the biggest carbon footprints in the UK

    By David Thompson

    Politics Show…

    …..this piece includes a colour graphic of the supposed CO2 output of the UK by local volume, and includes this gem in the text.

    ‘David Cameron’s Witney constituency is up there at number 37. The Doncaster North seat of Ed Miliband, the Environment Secretary, is a lowly 432 out of the 646 parliamentary constituencies. He’ll be on the Politics Show this Sunday.’

    Red Dave follows this up with this thinly-disguised line

    ‘For politicians, this data presents two problems. They must find a way of turning good intentions into changed behaviour – to put it glibly, how to stop people driving their 4x4s to the bottle bank.’

    David Cameron, high CO2 output, 4x4s, bottle bank greens….eh? eh? gedditt?

    BBC eh? Wot a bunch of c*nts.

  7. 7
    Dave "Cast Iron Guarantee" Cameron says:

    I just can’t wait for Sally to start “naming and shaming”

    Wasn’t it Christine Keeler who said”Life’s better under the Conservatives” and you know I think she was fight

  8. 8
    tom tom says:

    she did’nt shag the horse as well, did she?

  9. 9
    Technomist says:

    O/T but interesting. The Labour Party in Leyton and Wanstead (Harry Cohen’s seat) is imploding

  10. 10
    Anonymous says:

    It was the right thing to do

  11. 11
    Speaker Bercow says:

    I’m just back from the dentist and the bastard left me with a swollen face.

    I don’t suppose I should have been fucking his daughter in the chair though.

  12. 12
    Road_Hog says:

    If I lived in Buckingham I would.

  13. 13
    James says:

    Ha! My estimation of him has improved!

    I still think he’s a better Speaker than Martin. It would still be funny to see Farage boot him out though – not because I hate Bercow, but Farage makes me howl!

    Farage for Speaker.

  14. 14
    Man With a Very Hot Bladder says:

    Looks like the Bercows have the morals of baboons.

  15. 15
    Mr Ned says:

    This is what the Canadian version of the BBC is reporting about “climategate”

    And these guys are just as left wing as the BBC. Canadians are reporting their shock at seeing some truth on the CBC!

  16. 16
    Trollop says:

    An amazing PR stance, really amazing.

    The most amazing thing is it will work!

  17. 17
    Attila the Hun says:

    Ahh you beat me too it – a must watch.

  18. 18
    Road_Hog says:

    Were obviously not giving the right sort of comment on the BBC’s have your say on climate change.

    Total comments 620
    Published 96
    Rejected 3
    Someone sitting there with their finger up their are not accepting comments 521

  19. 19
    smig says:

    Postal votes are available from all Labour Party constituency offices. Grab them before they sell out.

  20. 20
    Hugh Janus says:

    Not only do we have a PM who is a national and international laughing stock, we also have a Speaker who now seriously tarnishes yet another great office of state.

    GE now, for a good clear-out of these utter Hoons.

  21. 21
    smig says:

    Yes, but its hanging off his head.

  22. 22
    Mr Ned says:

    More on the climategate, this time showing loads of studies that show that the medieval warp period was warmer than today:

  23. 23
    Kezza the Hat says:

    I do hope the horse is sober.

  24. 24
    Kezza the Hat says:

    Incompetent financial misconduct – Liebour

  25. 25
    Technomist says:

    Well, she’s managing to stay upright, anyway.

  26. 26
    smig says:

    Hahahahahaha, did you get up late this morning?

    20th is a shocking result!

  27. 27
    Technomist says:

    Tell me, are you in the G20 Inquisition or just the Spanish branch?

  28. 28
    A Baboon says:

    That’s offensive!

  29. 29
    Speaker Bercow says:

    Stop me if you’ve heard this one before

    Mr Cadbury met Ms Rowntree on a Double Decker, it was just After Eight.
    They got off at Quality Street, in front of the Fisherman’s Friend Pub.
    He asked her name ”Polo” she said in a quiet Wispa ”I’m the one with the hole”
    ”I’m Marathon” he replied ”The one with the nuts!”
    Then he couldn’t help himself, he grabbed her Creme Eggs, they checked into a hotel.
    He slipped his hand down her Snickers and felt her Milky Way, he fondled her Flap Jacks
    and she rubbed his Tic-Tacs.
    It was a Fab moment and she let out a scream of sheer Turkish Delight!

    Sadly though 3 days later his Sherbet Fountain had started to drip, turns out Ms Rowntree
    had been with Bertie Basset and he had Allsorts!!

  30. 30
    Hugh Janus says:

    “I still think he’s a better Speaker than Martin.”

    Christ on a bike – no one could be any worse, surely?

  31. 31
    Pickled Eric says:

    Firstly Bercow is a Tory.Secondly his wife is very attractive and also a Labour Party member.She has in the past behaved in the same way as many women have behaved.What is good and refreshing about her is her honesty.

  32. 32
  33. 33
    Anonymous says:

    Thanks Mr Ned , that was superb!

  34. 34
    Pickled Eric says:

    Farage who? Not that little Twit who always sounds mad when he comes on the telly.Bercow is far superior to him,even though he is a Tory.

  35. 35
    Attila the Hun says:

    Also this is worth a read…
    Link will download a pdf file…

  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    Hit the road Zac!

  37. 37
    Sweet Rose says:

    Guido,shame on you for suggesting that you might have known this woman.A gentleman never tells.

  38. 38
    Anon says:

    He’s dropped his non-dom status.

    Do try to keep up.

    NuLiebour = political misconduct on a grand scale.

  39. 39
    Randy SpAD says:

    So all i need to do is buy her a drink and she’ll be sucking my nob in the westminster bogs.


  40. 40
    Randy SpAD says:

    lol your good for a laugh, i’ll give you that

  41. 41
    Sweet Rose says:

    Gordon Brown is admired the world over.A prophet is never loved in his own country Look how the public threw out Churchill at the end of the second world war.

  42. 42
    Verticaly challenged Bercow chats up the missus says:

    Bercow:Can I smell your pussy?

    Mrs Bercow: no you can’t

    Bercow: Oh, it must be your feet then

  43. 43
    Michael Gove says:

    Wobble, smirk, wobble

  44. 44
    Engineer says:

    Just a very active tongue.

  45. 45
    Unsworth says:

    ‘Honesty’? Like her claims to academic qualifications?

    Cretinous, absolutely cretinous.

  46. 46
    The heavyweight champs of pie eating says:

    Anyone listen to the clash of the pie eating titans this morning?

    Prescott V Pickles Radio 4 = right laugh

  47. 47
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    Only because her hands are in fact glued to that fence

  48. 48
    Hugh Janus says:

    Anyone hear the pie-eating oaf on Toady this morning? When asked if NuLiebour are fighting the GE on the basis of class, old Two-Bogs said no, it would be on their record. Phew, that’s a relief – with a record like theirs I am beginning to think that DC is home and dry.

    I wonder why they think class war is such a good idea when Crewe clearly demonstrated otherwise? Short memory or just congenitally stupid?

  49. 49
    lol says:

    I don’t use the 4×4 to go to the bottle bank – I use the BMW

  50. 50
    Hugh Janus says:

    Yes, but at least Churchill was successful at something.

  51. 51
    Sweet Rose says:

    She did go to Oxford but stayed for two years instead of the three needed for a degree.She never lied in her CV.The firm assumed she had finished.

  52. 52
    A drunk never changes their liver spots says:

    Is it true she screwed one of her lecturers in Oxford?

  53. 53
    Hugh Janus says:

    Humphrys very one-sided though – plenty of challenges to Pickles, hardly any to the fat oaf.

  54. 54
    Johnny says says:

    “How to get rid of a girl during sex”

    Why on earth would you want to?

    Bercow’s chatup lines sound as credible as Brown’s University manual on being a tight fisted miser student – including such things as sneaking into hotel rooms to have a free bath and putting a brick in a bag with some cans when you’re bringing booze to a party. Preposterous and deluded. Brown will likely never have had the balls to do those things. Now he has two Balls and still dithers.

  55. 55
    Climategate says:

    Sorry Mr Ned I posted without looking.

  56. 56
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Are these odd little stories about Bercow writing a puller’s guide and his wife’s penchant for too much wine and the thrill of the chase, revenge for slapping down Balls and Gordon?

    After reading Sally Bercow’s plea for help in The Standard, I wondered if she had forgotten to turn up at an Alpha Course to confess that she used to get drunk, go off with men she picked up in bars and had sex. It could be worse, she could have become a Happy Clappy Evangeilical.

  57. 57
    Mia hee mia hoo says:

    Because they had sense!

    Hitler made him what he was and with Hitler out the way their was not much need for him any more.

  58. 58
    Airey Belvoir says:

    Looking at the reader comments under the Standard interview, it looks as if this was not a well-judged PR exercise by Mrs Bercow. Best comment on her:

    “A boyfriend warned her that she was behaving badly while drunk. “I said he was being sexist and misogynist. My response was to attack him rather than think about the truth.”

    was: “You’ll fit in very well with the Labour Party and the Left in general.”

  59. 59
    Hugh Janus says:

    Almost as cringe-making as Mrs Bliar telling the world that she had been on the job whilst a guest of Her Maj.

    Utterly revolting.

  60. 60
    Ferrari owner says:

    A BMW?
    How common

  61. 61
    jgm2 says:

    The firm assumed she’d finished because when you write:

    University Education: Balliol College, Oxford (1st)

    they assume that you got a First class degree from Balliol College, Oxford.

    It’s like if I write:

    Date of Birth: 3rd March 1970 you assume that’s my date of birth. Not just some random date of birth I made up.

    I was designed to mislead. It’s a lie. In the same way that Blair’s ’45 minutes’ was designed to mislead and is therefore a lie.

    Liars. Why does Labour attract ‘em in such hoards? Swarms of them. Laughinmg about how clever they are because they’ve deliberately mislead the entire UK into an economic clusterfuck.

    And now using exactly the same tactics to try and hide their idiocy and indeed compound their idiocy.

  62. 62
    smig says:

    BMW X5 per chance?

  63. 63
    Chunky (the man with the pineapple bollocks) says:

    He may mean while having sex with oneself.
    ‘Can you nip to the shop love,’How to look good naked’ is on and I fancy a wank’ sort of thing.

  64. 64
    Dr Moheki (Witch Doctor, ten years experience)) says:


    Climate change is the eugenics of the 21 st century

    They will catalogue every activity and action and give it a carbon signature and then tax you and control what you can do you via your overall output within this system.

    In theory middle class to rich people with one child will not be producing the same carbon output as a poor family with three children. Yet as the system can be rigged whoever and whatever government and ideology sees fit then expect to see the middle classes and rich taxed to pay for the poors fecklessness.

    As more poor = more votes in theory.

  65. 65
    Disco Biscuit says:

    My understanding is that Bercow’s tastes have changed somewhat since his university days…

  66. 66
    Climategate says:

    Zac Goldsmith is such an Enviromong that he made the daft bint who created the film ‘Age of stupid’ look sane on Newsnight.

  67. 67
    Sir William Waad says:

    I can’t imagine that anyone could calculate these figures with even the accuracy of, say, one of Anatole Kaletsky’s economic forecasts in The Times. They probably made it up from a few vaguely relevant statistics such as average size of house, number of cars etc. It certainly can’t be based on observations, like real science. In other words it’s hogwash.

  68. 68
    English Viking says:

    Having a poo?

  69. 69
    1381 says:

    IF she did it didn’t do her much good.
    Wasn’t she requested to leave sans degree – which she lied about having.
    All power to Farage.

  70. 70
    Randy SpAD says:

    ”sneaking into hotel rooms to have a free bath”

    Also to see if their was any men to shag, i don’t recall Gordon having any girlfriends when he was younger.

  71. 71
  72. 72
    Dippy ness says:

    It’s PO LO pony!

  73. 73
    TaT's 'special' Gay Friend says:

    Was Tertiary education beyond your reach dahliiing? You talk so much better than you write. But repetition was always your strong suit honey bunch.

  74. 74
    Shocked of Sheen says:

    What an excellent piece of Journalism, thanks for the heads-up.

  75. 75
    concrete pump says:

    Excellent link…….and a damn good read !!

  76. 76
    Randy SpAD says:

    8===============) ((

    My cock, your ass.

    Now behave.

  77. 77
    Eileen Critchley says:

    I’ve recently taken to sucking Owd Roger through a straw – on all fours of course!

  78. 78
    Sukyspook says:

    “Guido,shame on you for suggesting that you might have known this woman.A gentleman never tells.”

    Yes Guido – after your comment:

    “Guido thinks Sally looks vaguely familiar, but it was over a decade ago, Guido was very, very drunk that night and was never good at remembering names…”

    I expect you’ve received a ‘slap on head’ from Mrs Fawkes – and quite rightly so!! Here’s one from me too “slaps” – (hard)!

  79. 79
    Sukyspook says:

    WOT?? modded for slapping Guido on the back o’ the ‘ead?

  80. 80
    While You're Down There says:

    I loved listening to John “Two Banjoes” Prescott talking about class on the Toady programme. What effin class has he ever had or demonstrated, eh?

    Still, all in all, I suppose he has done alright for a Secondary Modern lad.

  81. 81
    concrete pump says:

    Phwooaaarr………i’d watch that….at the drop of a hat.

  82. 82
    Andy Carpark says:

    John Bercow first came to public prominence on TV-am in 1983 as Roland Rat’s sidekick, Kevin the Gerbil (catch-phrase: ‘Nyiiii! Number one rat fan!”). He then faded into obscurity, doing various odd-jobs such as punching the holes in cream crackers and working as a marshal at Romford Dog Stadium, before bouncing back into the limelight as Speaker of the House of Commons on the strength of a barnstorming speech read from placards held up by his old mucker, Errol the Hamster.

    Hobbies listed in Who’s Who include Pilates, shove-ha’penny and badger taxidermy.

  83. 83
    Chapps says:

    I understand she charges for it.

    Double for both holes.

  84. 84
    mondeoman says:

    As the country sinks under the pile of debt loaded on by this cr*p government they pull out the politics of envy and class cards, what utter s**ts they really are!

  85. 85
    Andy Carpark says:

    You dirty rotter.

  86. 86
    TaT's 'special' Gay Friend says:

    Pity, she didn’t take the opportunity to detail the drug (s) use. Or some of the other addiction issues. Only one bottle a night? Maybe 2? Er, and the rest Madam.

  87. 87
    concrete pump says:

    Phwooaarrrr !!!!!

  88. 88
    TaT's 'special' Gay Friend says:

    Extra points are available for ‘Clusterfuck’, it was one of Sally’s favourite things.

  89. 89
    Sir William Waad says:

    He is following official Tory policy and “doing more with less.”

  90. 90
    Pickled Wizard says:

    Put your hat back on, get in the queue, and act like a civilised Englishman!

  91. 91
    TaT's 'special' Gay Friend says:

    She allegedly used to mumble during intoxicated sex.
    “And do you all play for the same team?”

  92. 92
    BROWNED OFF says:

    Nigel Farage isn’t little.

  93. 93
    Pickled Wizard says:

    Handy her being in PR, what with all those ‘phone boxes to advertise in.

  94. 94
    Shocked of Sheen says:

    Is it possible that Long Tall Sally gave the interview as a spoiler? Does one of the Sunday Red Tops has some steamy photos?

  95. 95
    TaT's 'special' Gay Friend says:

    She is hiding the Mattress on her back!

  96. 96
    I Hate new Labour says:

    You still here?

    What a tiresome fellow you are…

  97. 97
    While You're Down There says:

    Funny (yuk not ha-ha) how the trendy-liberal elite think its perfectly acceptable to hurl insults about perceived interpretations about social class but have hate crimes for rude and inflammatory comments about race, sex and disability.

    (Mandy being slated on R4 right now, they’ve just lost another 1700 jobs in Labour heartland of Teeside, oops!)

  98. 98
    Anonymous says:

    It amazes me that ladette Bercow states that she abhors privelige, yet she is from a back ground of ease, easy money, wealth and drunken Oxford Uni background. When I heard this woman speaking from her lofty position of wealth and ease I at once thought she must be a Labour supporter. Blow me down with a feather when I read she IS a supporter of failed Labour and wants to be a Labour MP.
    This ex drunken ladette should keep her opinions to herself knowing her hubby is Speaker.
    Was she drunk when she gave the interview ?

  99. 99
    Sally Bercow says:

    Do you always come early?

  100. 100
    mondeoman says:

    How very clever bringing up this coordinated class message, brown, myners and harperson, with the arch spinner campbell at work and may be mcbride playing a part time role from his school job. I hate this government with a passion, I find it hard to accept the circa 28% of the population are willing to vote form them. The recurring nightmare of waking up on a Friday morning, be it sometime between Feb and June, with this lot still in charge is getting too much, where are the tablets!

  101. 101
    JF says:

    Is Sally Bercow a male transvestite? She looks very mannish.

    As for John Bercow. He’s quite effeminate. I always thought he was gay.

  102. 102
    jgm2 says:

    Pure conjecture, don’t know really, sounds ok though, doesn’t it?
    Oh, sorry.

  103. 103
    Sukyspook says:

    Thank you Mr Ned and Attila – ironically, “Climategate” or rather the MMGW scam ultimately has major roots in Canada with Maurice Strong and Ex PM Paul Martin – this from Constance Cumbey, long time researcher into all things nwo from June 2007:

    “I was even more curious when Paul Martin’s name appeared on that list. Paul Martin is a former Canadian Prime Minister. The only New Age flag Javier Solana really flew publicly was that of the Club of Rome. Canadian Alexander King was a co-founder of the Club of Rome. Canadian billionaire cum esotericist Maurice Strong was involved and was to become a leading UN figure in setting up a global governance mechanism that saw its fullest expression at a Rio de Janeiro Earth Summit in 1992. Maurice Strong has been photographed in group meditations at the New Age “Vatican City” of Findhorn. They were praying to whatever “source” they acknowledge for “the Reappearance of the Christ.” By “Christ,” they definitely did not mean Jesus. Strong was there as part of an excursion with Lucis Trust/World Goodwill folk under the auspices of something they call the “World Service Intergroup.” Using their own words, ” ”

    rest at:

  104. 104
    final salary civil servant pensioner says:

    An old Roma from Moldova once told me that all you needed to chat up a shetland pony was 18 inches of baler twine!

  105. 105
    greatbiglizard says:

    Lovely to see you doing your bit to raise the tone of political debate, Guido. Do remember to pop up for air every once in a while won’t you ;)

  106. 106
    jgm2 says:

    Poor Sheena McDonald.

    In 1999 she was struck by a police van on its way to a 999 call in Clerkenwell, London.[3] She sustained massive head injuries, ….

    …She used to date Gordon Brown

    Poor Sarah.

  107. 107
    Susie says:

    What’s the attraction for the Labour Party — a drunk ex-slapper who lies about her qualifications on her CV? Oh I see.

  108. 108
  109. 109
    TaT's 'special' Gay Friend says:

    Please don’t get cross with me boodlekins.

  110. 110
    smig says:

    FFS TaT, take the hook out of your mouth.

    The more you bite, the more they will go fishing.

  111. 111
    Jimmy says:

    There’s a theme running through today’s stories (Balls, Bercow). Young impressionable people become exposed to the conservative party and are led down a spiral of drunken and debauched behaviour. Only by embracing the ideals of democratic socialism have they been able to redeem themselves and turn their lives around. It is a valuable life lesson for any tory drunks who may be reading (or indeed writing) this blog.

  112. 112
    TaT's 'special' Gay Friend says:

    Dysfunctional attracts dysfunctional. QED

  113. 113
    Jimmy says:

    There’s a theme running through today’s stories (Balls, Bercow). Young impressionable people become exposed to the conservative party and are led down a spiral of dr*nken and debauched behaviour. Only by embracing the ideals of democratic socialism have they been able to redeem themselves and turn their lives around. It is a valuable life lesson for any tory dr*nks who may be reading (or indeed writing) this blog.

  114. 114
    Violet Elizabeth Bott says:

    ooooooooooh, get ‘er.

  115. 115
    El Forleather says:

    Is he moving to a country in Gordon and Hattie’s G20?
    Spain maybe?

  116. 116
    smig says:

    That boy has never done a decent and proper days work in his life.

    That idle little gobshite needs working on with a mallet.

    If he knocks on my door looking for a vote he’ll get a smack in the mouth and I’ll set the dogs on him.

  117. 117
    Torygirl says:

    I hope this vile couple are booted out of Speaker’s House next year when the Tories elect someone who a, represents the next and NEW parliament and b, dresses properly.

  118. 118
    Up For It says:

    Hmm, Mrs B looks a bit of all right.
    I wonder if I could interest her in this bottle of wine?

  119. 119
    13eastie (150 Days: Good-bye, Gordon!) says:

    She was the first girl at Keeble to go down that year.

  120. 120
    Anonymous says:

    Mis Yo Yo Knickers

    Six feet tall but then again it is easy to climb a fallen tree.

  121. 121
    They're all hoons says:

    No change there then.

    BBC/Liebour = two cheeks of the same arse

  122. 122
    iain, ni says:

    Rex Murphy’s eyes are disturbing

  123. 123
    iain, ni says:

    Do all those posh tarts have that same look?
    She reminds me of Prince’s whatshisname’s wife, Sophie

  124. 124
    Steve says:

    Are you having a laugh Guido? As if she’d sleep with you…

  125. 125
    Hugh Janus says:

    Ah yes, Myners – getting all hot and bothered about excessive bonuses a) because the govt can’t control them, and b) this is the man who nodded through Fred the Shred’s gargantuan pension and pay-off.

    More gesture politics from this bunch of complete incompetents.

  126. 126
    next slide please, d-day says:

    Does the term ‘modern woman’ have the same meaning as the term ‘slapper’? She sound no better than a council estate tart.

  127. 127
    Sal the Cycle says:

    It seems strange to see the words Bercow and morals in the same sentence.
    Oops, it’s happened again.

  128. 128
    Sally's Alley says:

    Neigh, tis not so.

  129. 129
    Lydia Dustbin says:

    She looks as if she’s trying to ease a fart out.

  130. 130
    Senor Frizby says:

    Mrs Bercow is obviously a New Labour female role model:

    1. Brags about rehabilitation / being a tart and drunk

    2. Thinks that the confessional route is worthy of reward – becoming a trougher

    3. Has no idea that she is NOT the kind of slapper we need governing the any aspect of the country.

    Now love, get yerself back down the Dog & Duck, nail some Shard-donnay and open yer legs for Thomas the Tank Engine.

    Horrible woman!

  131. 131
    Rip van Winkle von Rumpy says:

    Sleep? Sleep?
    u avin a larf mate?

  132. 132
    Mystic Mong says:

    must be why cameron kicked him out of the Tory Party.
    I think that was around the time Lord Young won the Speakership as predicted. or was it Beckett ? meh. details

  133. 133
    sockpuppet #53 (insert even feebler phrase) says:

    coz she shags a whole football team you see ?
    she mumbles it after she has been on the piss
    it’s a joke innit?


  134. 134
    sockpuppet #16d (insert phrase) says:

    dats dead funny dat is
    dats a real funny haha gag
    Huuuur! Huuuurr! Huuuurrr!

  135. 135
    TaT's 'special' Gay Friend says:

    Is this story the pot calling the kettle a pissedfart or the other way around ?
    Most amusing Mr Fawkes

  136. 136
    Anonymous says:

    @pickled eric,

    What, we’re all supposed to admire her because she did what the rest of us did whilst we were at uni and now feels the need to tell the world 20 years after the event? Ladies (and Gentlement for that matter) never kiss and tell – even when it’s a seethrough attempt to make oneself appear as being down with the kids in a transparent attempt to garner more votes – it’s just crass and vulgar bragging about your social and bedroom escapades.

  137. 137
    TaT's 'special' Gay Friend says:

    anti-science fuckwit
    f*ck off and tell us evolution is bullsh*t while you’re at it wanker

  138. 138
    Anonymous says:

    An ex drunken yobbette with all the manners, morals and behaviour of a Saturday night alleyway puking tart who comes from a privileged background, who has had an easy ride through life with loads of money now wishes to continue to have an easy life by becoming a Labour MP.
    Why should a wealthy ex drunken yobbette who has never had to work think she has the right or morals to pass laws and judgement on us all when she becomes an MP, especially as she would automatically be selected as a Labour MP by Brown just to cause more embarrassment to her husband Bercow?
    She shows just how shallow, out of touch and morally bust many of those who wish to rule us are.

  139. 139
    Eco-Dave Cameron shits on Global Warming deniers says:

    Frightfully sorry chaps but I’m afraid the bad news is nobody gives a fuck

    The Conservative Party Policy hasn’t changed and won’t change

    I’m afraid Dave has as much intention to listen to the climategate hystericals as he did to the Lisbon Treaty Referendum demands

    Dreadfully tough luck old fruits
    Never mind though
    Keep blogging away
    Pip Pip and all that

  140. 140
    TaT the tramp f*cker says:

    said the tramp f*cker

  141. 141
    Anonymous says:

    Laughing at people for alcohol abuse? Poor show Guido.

  142. 142
    innit? says:

    you would fucking know you creepy drug addled stalker

  143. 143
    Bram Stoker says:

    You’ve got to hand it to her, she’s made William Hague’s “14 pints a night” claim seem rather tame.

  144. 144
    An Englishman says:

    And what’s wrong with council estate tarts, then?

    Not ‘no better than'; not as good as. She lacks their basic unhypocritical honesty.

  145. 145
    FCS Hack says:

    Contrary to Speaker Bercow’s claim in today’s London Evening Standard that he was the author of the John Bercow Guide, I can officially confirm this is not in fact the case.

    FCS had a tradition of naming guides after people who did not write them, for example the legendary Gordon Liddy Guide to Disrupting NUS Conference (which was not written by Gordon Liddy but was rather in homage to him).

    In this case naming the guide after John Bercow is part of the humour – because Bercow never picked up anybody and using those lines you’d never pick anyone up either.

    Not only was Bercow tragically scrofulous and knew absolutely nothing about women by that stage of his life, he was also incapable of humour more advanced that exemplified by the BBC Home Service in the 1950s.

  146. 146
    Jill says:

    I was a year behind John Bercow at Essex Uni. I can assure you he didn’t pick up many women there.

  147. 147
    Anonymous says:

    What kind of halfwit would vote for this vaccuous cow ?????

  148. 148
    Brixjac says:

    Revered psoition of the speaker? It’s all justa load of ceremonial bollocks, that no one cares about (outside some political geeks, westminster and teh blogs)

  149. 149
    Alan Douglas says:

    What is it about the political classes that makes them and their spouses think we have any interest in their sexcapades ?

    Blair and postbox-mouth ? Yuch
    Major and Currie ? at least it got stuck horrors of above out of the system.
    Ber-cow and Ber-chow ? Promiscuous Great Dane and poodle, yuch yuch yuch.

    Alan Douglas

  150. 150
    Cyco Billy says:

    3 caption competitions in one day? Oh alright then.

    Which one of these is these is humming ‘Roll me over in the clover’?

    The unspeakable in pursuit of the inedible.

  151. 151
    Anonymous says:

    Any suggestion at what number the Berk went in to bat?

  152. 152
    Talwin says:

    We’re all (not) going to die!!

  153. 153
    Anonymous says:

    This one could run like Tiger with one nighters ringing in from all over the place.
    Any reason Ali is being so very supportive???

  154. 154
    Hate The Tories says:

    jmg2 knows nothing.Sally Bercow went to Keeble for two years ,check your prejudiced facts you Tory Troll.

  155. 155
    Hate The Tories says:

    Same as Guido then.he hinted he knew her!

  156. 156
    John Moorcraft says:

    Gotta love old YC and FCS publications. Time to dust down The Right Handbook again methinks. Now that was a classic

  157. 157
    Keble Bollege Oxford says:

    Can you please spell our name right =- there are two “e”s in Keble, not 3.

  158. 158
    Talwin says:

    Nice lady. Bernie Ecclestone wasn’t available so she settled for Bercow.

  159. 159
    Aberdeen Angus McDayie says:

    Strong at Findhorn? Waiting for illumination from the Lord Deva for Cabbages? Shurely shome mistake.

  160. 160
    Number 6 says:

    Eric, Bercow is just another EU cocksucker in a long line of blow job whores from Heath through Kinnock to Mandy I am voting UKIP to cut off their access to the knob they love to slobber on.

  161. 161
    Number 6 says:

    Dave, old bean you will listen when real Conservatives tell you to fuck most politley off and vote UKIP.

  162. 162
    Anonymous says:

    Agreed, all this carbon bullshit is just another excuse for the socialists to exert more tax and control. I used to love this country now I fucking hate it.

  163. 163
    john miller says:

    I think you missed the trick here.

    Our Sally was the author of the Labour guide to picking up midgets (first line – “not as heavy as you thought they were”) and sadly (for him) none of Bercow’s guides worked.

  164. 164
    Point of information says:

    Am I missing something, or are Alastair Campbell and Charles Kennedy the two most eminent alcoholics in political life? Neither of them is a tory.

  165. 165
    Jimmy says:

    Yes you are.

  166. 166
    Pick Up says:

    I though I saw her too – in Leicester Square

  167. 167
    Ratsniffer says:

    I guess the slimey little twit bercow is would have no problem pulling those into the niche fetish market of midget sex.

  168. 168
    Talwin says:

    And Blair’s 5 shags a night.

  169. 169
    Jonah Watch 1999 says:

    She was Jonah’d

  170. 170
    Anonymous says:

    If a slapper airhead is the answer what the fuck is the question ?

  171. 171
    Zacaroo says:

    You still can’t sit down?

  172. 172
    Zacaroo says:

    She stole that from Princess Di

  173. 173
    Zacaroo says:

    That man’s asymmetric starey eyes are really spooky. I felt that he was undressing me as he spoke. By the way, Glenn Beck does the loon rant much better, and he has the Mormons behind him.

  174. 174
    Zacaroo says:

    Carbon tax is Cameron’s idea. Silly man, he has to put electricity into his wind turbine so that it turns round to make people think he is green.

  175. 175
    Zacaroo says:

    “A boyfriend warned her that she was behaving badly while drunk. “I said he was being sexist and misogynist. My response was to attack him rather than think about the truth.”

    was: “You’ll fit in very well with the Labour Party and the Left in general.”

    Yeah you are right, the left shag a lot more than the right.

  176. 176
    Anonymous says:

    Which Bar was John originally “picked up” by his wife ?

  177. 177
    Anonymous says:

    Guido standing for election ?

  178. 178
    Anonymous says:

    Me too.
    And once the Tories realise that their polling lead is being cut because of defectors to UKIP (just like you and I ?) rather than any increase in the support of ZaNU then they might just realise that “support” for EU cesspool may just cost them an overall majority in May 2010.
    There is a solution, Dave.
    Guess what it is ?

  179. 179
    Coolingphile says:

    Guido, what did you make of the Delingpole v Moonbat debate last night?….Your jacket was very cigar-room esque. Surprised Alexei did not chirp in. I was the bluesuited one with the Crossroads Benny Beanie at the back…..Keep up the good anti-establishment leadership. A Disciple

  180. 180
    Richard Timney says:

    I would too. If Jacqui could arrange for you to pay for it.

  181. 181
    Alex Trebek says:

    Name someone who has not been to Cliff Clavin’s kitchen?

  182. 182
    A real Berk ow says:

    BOTH holes? No one in their right minds would leave her free to speak.

    Best make it a triple.

  183. 183
    Archie says:

    I would! Her, I mean!

  184. 184
    Anonymous says:

    Sadly, we all know the answer to that question.

  185. 185
    Archie says:

    Well exactly, Talwin; and just to prove that the warm-mongers are doomed there’s this:

  186. 186
  187. 187
    Ivor Biggun says:

    When Long Tall Sally met Johnny B. Goode
    He didn’t do nothing but pull his pud’
    Just the wrist and the fist and you can’t go wrong
    Doing the Hand-Jive all night long

    All you need is the rhythm and the wrist control

    And you can do the w*nker’s rock ‘n’ roll

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