No Downing Street Twitter Invite for Guido
Guido is a bit put out that Kevin Maguire has got an invite to Sarah Brown’s Downing Tweet Christmas Party. Why does he get to go and not Westminster’s most influential tweeter? Guido was looking forward to mingling with the cream of the Twitterati on the Number 10 mulled wine, so he called his old friend Konrad Caulkett, Sarah Brown’s SpAd, to chase up his invitation.
Guido Fawkes : I see Sarah’s having a Tweet-Up tomorrow and Kevin Maguire is there so obviously media are invited. Could you sort out an invitation for me?
Konrad Caulkett : Sorry, who is it?
GF : Guido Fawkes
KC : I don’t think so…
GF : Why not?
KC : You know why.
GF : No I don’t, why [duhhhh phone goes dead]
Co-conspirators will remember* that Konrad got his former employers, the Smith Institute, into a bit of bother for organising partisan events at the taxpayers’ expense in Downing Street. Is it wise of him to go here again?
I hope the Taxpayer is not funding this.
Guido if you do manage to blag your way in ask Sarah for one of her home made Willy warmers.
http://www.number10.gov.uk/showhomepost/21488
Please to welcome Guidiot Faux to the climate change cannot be proved and even if it could won’t believe it because, oh look over there, brigade.
Have you really spent all afternoon thinking up that sung myung moon tag MB?
Poor show.
All that Toff class war you could be drooling over.
Please to know Moon owns Washington Times linked on Guidiot Faux.
Join the idiot conglegation?
Been hitting the mulled wine today MB? You make even less sense than usual.
Sticky withy it.
MB, you are crap at this blogging thing, lmfao!
Sarah Brown causes international incident by knitting head gear for President of France.
Blimey, who are they gonna fit? No wait, they are about the right size for the brainless morons in the Cabinet. Well done Sarah!
Gordon would not want Guido anywhere near #10, Gordon might get all scared by being heckled…. (BBC not repeating this clip strangely of our brave PM almost crapping himself, looking around for help).
Bloody hell I thought he was going to run away right at the start.
M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-Mister Speaker…..
Damn! Brown’s bodyguards could have taken aim at the heckler and wasted the PM by mistake. Missed opportunity. Not even a fucking shoe!
is that why they call them heckler and cock?
Why the hell does the PMs wife have a SpAd? And I hope to god we don’t pay him!
KC: Sorry, who is it?
GF : Guido Fawkes
KC : I don’t think so…
GF : Why not?
KC : You know why.
GF : No I don’t.
KC: Oh yes you fucking do. You keep going on about how Sarah was impregnated using a turkey baster. How dare you say such horrid things you fucking bastard.
GF: I have never said such a thing. TaT started that particular meme.
Is Mr Clue there?
No.
What about Mrs Clue?
No, no one of that name.
Grandpa Clue?
Look there are no people called Clue here.
I see. What about Billy Breem who came with Ms Clue ?
Look you arse. There is no one here with any clue at all….
And that’s another blog scoop!
That’s a bit harsh
Clear off you ignorant person.Move away from here,new Top Boy here.
I
Totally
Agree
With
T
A
T
A Turkey baster pregnancy seem’s to be quite common. A google search brings up 19000 hits.
The big catch though, is male sperm is required. Where would Sarah get that from?
I was conceived using a Turkey Baster, my birth-sign is Pyrex
Why did Tony Bliar’s name immediately come (!) to mind…could he be responsible for ‘Bastergate’ too??
Eek, the Blair Bitch Project….(leaves feeling ill).
What the fucking fuck is SEEM’S ?
You TWAT
Why the fuck does Sarah Brown have a SpAd?
Seriously, what the fuck is this for?
I’m sure I don’t need to ask who pays this сunt’s salary.
Here’s a selection of Sarah’s recent Tweets – fuck knows what they would have been like were they not to have benefited from some “special advice”:
“attended Piers Morgan’s modestly named Morgan Awards last night but will leave him to report on them in his Sunday column in Liv”
about 18 hours ago from web
“fvdfzsrsazxzzxcvbnmadgfhjjkqwrtyuuuiop”
4:04 AM Dec 1st from web
“good weekend – saw excellent Beatles to Bowie exhibition at NPG, London http://bit.ly/moZN3 and quite a bit of jumping in muddy puddles”
2:00 AM Nov 30th from web
FUCKING THOUGHT-PROVOKING STUFF, OR WHAT?
I did read on BBC that the Dec 1st tweet was due to one of the Brown Jnrs ‘helping out’. To be honest, it does make a little more sense than normal Government communiques!
Good old Al-Jabeeba!
To busy reporting on that all-important “Baby playing with Balckberry” story to mention that the kid’s father spent the day lying to the House of Commons…
It must have been a disturbed night in the Brown household if one of the kids was up at 4.04 am. Perhaps Sarah has not found out how to change the time on her Bilberry or Gordon tried typing with it for the first time.
Sarah Brown tweets my arse !!!! Im sure the tax payer is paying the wages of some wannabe politicos who tweet in her name . Fuck right off !
Why would a right wing blogger want an invitation to this party?You would feel isolated and lonely as all the other guests are part of the warm left wing fringe.Never mind I’m sure there must be some interesting right wing parties somewhere.Maybe Phillip Blond will be sharing his hair shirt and gruel one of these nights or maybe the Mail will have a cream tea evening.
She quaffed all our booze at the Guingard this afto!
Lovely Al, you are part of the warm left wing fringe,congratulations.
How has Sarah Brown got the right to hold a bash ion Downing Street – Hope she pays for the lecky and other stuff she is nicking from the taxpayer. She has two other house she could hold the shindigs in.
Does her twitter account get moderated?
I would like to tweet her that, i have a fat cock sitting in my pants that would like to get invited to one of her parties.
Although i may dissapear, never to be seen again, secret service style the lulz would be worth it.
Guido can you please name and shame more SpAds.
For example, isn’t it a coincidence that Krishnan Gurumurthy of Channel 4 news gets so many interviews with David Miliband, given David Miliband’s SpAd is Ravi Gurumurthy (who happens to be Krishnan Gurumurthy’s brother)?
Please to know David Cameron was SpAd to Norman Lamont the Threshers Chancellor who enriched Soros so much. On a Wednesday, no? Perhaps remember the screaming mews arrestd minister for finance.
And you think that Cameron was in a postiion to lose Forex reserves.
Just think who was in charge of the Economy from 1997, and who made a public announcement that he was selling off Gold.
Clue – he married Sarah, and is a one eyed Jock Hoon.
David Cameron was bag carrier for Mr Threshers, lived on top of Madam Whiplash, no?
Cameron appeared in Lamont’s panto as a YES BOY.
He was in Lamont’s pantos?
That is disgusting.
Try harder. You used to be funny MB.
Now I’m Cameron’s Yes boy.
(Better late etc).
Tories Black Wednesday, £3.4bn cost to UK taxpayer.
New Labour’s self-created recession, £2,500bn+ cost to UK taxpayer (and counting – upwards).
where the hell did you get those figures? there rubbish!
So part of the warm left wing fringe.Envy will get you nowhere.
Homicidal serial cop killers say yay for Saj Brown.
Any mention of Crawford’s tartans?
Isn’t the latest thinking that MPs aren’t allowed to employ spouses? Brown should take a lead.
Yes but Mrs Brown is only nominally a spouse. A ‘beard’ I think the expression is.
I’m reminded of Grace Slick’s invitation to the Nixon White House, hastily withdrawn. She was planning to drop LSD in the punch.
I’ve been thrown out of better clubs than this.
GUIDO IS ON TWITTER ??
What the fuck ??
quiet you!
dont bring up the hypocrisy
We fully agree. If it’s Sarah Brown’s ‘Tweet Christmas Party’ then let her pay for it.
‘Cream of the Twitterati’ ? Is n’t that a bit of an oxymoron ??
If Maguire is invited is n’t it more likely to be the ‘Dregs of the Dogs’ ??
Anyone at The Mirror with a grudge against Muckguire, then email copies of his expenses….
Bet the santimonious Hoon has claimed for more than a Mars Bar in his time.
More like the twaterrati!
Who the fuck would want to go to a party full of socialist wankers tapping out their 140 characters?
Who the fuck “follows” them on twitter anyway? Follow them? I would not waste a single shit on them!
Fuck that!
too many tweets might make a Twat
I hope the Taxpayer is not funding this, states Concerned of Croydon.
However, the taxpayer is funding this:
http://hr.leeds.ac.uk/jobs/ViewJob.aspx?CId=2&JId=785
Fancy it, anyone?
LOLOLOL!
LMFAO !!
That job is unIslamic and should be beheaded
( . ) ( . )
( Y )
YAK YAK YAK cor blimey
I was mistaken for a Gynocologist once by this woman who wanted me to examine her fanny, I said,
‘Well I aint a doctor but I will have a fucking good look’
I used to be a Gynaecologist.
Still like to keep my hand in from time to time
I expect you got home exhausted after a hard day at the orifice.
It’s funny but sad too – I remember when having a PhD meant that someone had devoted years of study to literature, history, economics, languages etc and I would always have high regard for those with a doctorate. Today it is just as likely to be a study of “sexual labour and consumption” – pathetic really.
Mr PhD is in History but I’m always prepared to play the doctor.
Why is Guido hiding his light under a bushel and not linking to his Twatter feed ?
Could it be that he is ashamed and embarrassed of his liking for this vapid and narcissistic technology ??
You see the column next to this, with the inch wide Twitter logo and picture of Guido on it? No?
That Anonymous is such a twat sometimes. I’d change my name if I were him.
I’m going, loser.
Catch up with a few of my friends
Mirror, mirror, on the table
Who is Radio Five’s least able?
LSD? How about sodium pentothal instead?
Got any Coke?
Steer clear of that dreadful place.Here be dragons.
A few gags like this will gain you admission,Guido
The other night I was invited out for a night with “the lads.” I told my missus that I would be home by midnight
Well, the hours passed and the pints went down way too easy.
Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing the missus would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted
solution.
Next morning my missus asked me what time I got in, and I told her “Midnight, like I promised “. She didn’t seem pissed off at all. I thought I´d got away with
that one!
Then she said, “We need a new cuckoo clock.”
When I asked her why?, she said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, “Oh. shit.”, cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it’s throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.”
Ok clever ass, Who do you write for…..
BTW loved it TA…
Man gets home pissed at 3AM, lost keys so rings bell repeatedly.Irate wife in curlers and dressing gown opens the door with a rolling pin in her hand. “What a great girl I married” quoth he. “Three o’clock in the morning, and still baking!”
So it’s that ‘special’ time of year when all the inbreeds come out to play. See, even in their world some are more equal than others…. don’t worry Guido, better offers will be on their way………
Kevin Maguire ‘The working mans thinking man’ knows fuck all about either.
The Liberal elite kid themselves they have their finger on the pulse of the working class by rubbing shoulders with that cu*t.
I wish you right wingers would stop commenting on my Mirror blogs.
This kind of behaviour is as bad as ‘personality politics’ and ‘class war’
It’s Browns personality cult and politics which bothers me.
here, you can’t be 19 …I’m 19
ClimateGate is now starting to make waves…
http://bit.ly/6jwVHO
Yup, and Pravda were spinning it last night too.
Some pillock saying that AGW was still alive and well because “you only had to look at the Antarctic and what’s happening to the ice and what the theoretical models predict” to see that everything leaked from the CRU could be ignored. Science at it’s height….
Antarctic? you mean the south pole, whose maximum ice extent this past September (the deepest part of their winter) exceeded all those on record? OK it is only a 30 year record, like the Arctic, but it was still the greatest ice extent on that record.
Now why was that not headline news around the world? Or the fact that at the same time, the Arctic (north pole) minimum ice extent had increased by more than 10% over the previous year, for the second year on the trot?
That does not look like the poles melting away to me, much more like the natural seasonal variability within multi year cyclical patterns.
Exactly the same as it has been for thousands of years. Some years melt more than others and some years freeze more than others.
How long has it taken Pravda to notice that Dr Jones has been up to no good?
They are still trying to spin a line that the ‘theft’ of the data is more morally wrong than the packing of committees, the omission of unfavourable data and the manipulation of information.
Somehow scepticism about Climate Change is twisted into Climate Change Denial, but Jones and Co have abused their powers.
Please to keep this up and read Washington Times, it’s readership profile suit.
The climate change loons make scary films about the effects of global warming on the planet but not scary films on the effects a 20-80% cut in emmisions would be to a carbon based economy.
It would not be pretty.
Poor globalists! It’s all coming undone for them. For years they used to get away with bamboozling the peeps. You forgot to factor the internet into your plans, you fucking dunces!
Why has Sarah Brown got a SpAd?!
This isn’t a taxpayer funded position, I fucking hope…??
Nokia deflector
Surely Lightweight has promised you an invite next year?
I’ve done nothing of the sort. Are you suggesting that Lightweight promising something means it will happen?
Hardcore warrior? You’re too kind.
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Miss Turd Hat is very repeTATtive.
Miss Turd Hat,
What for the back pedal on the U.L. Hung parlie amen?
It should be taken as a compliment! The politicians hate you, ergo you must be doing something right!
Just seen this gem of an insight on Sarah’s Twatter page:
“fvdfzsrsazxzzxcvbnmadgfhjjkqwrtyuuuiop”
Why the fuck is she letting Gordon tweet for her?
Consider yourself modded Guido…… ;)
Ah, but if they had any sense they’d invite you….and let the curse of Jonah plague your house thereafter
Extract from Sarah Brown 10 twitter page
“and in future I will turn my computer off when I am not using it – to save energy and avoid junior tweet interterence
5:09 AM Dec 1st from web
fvdfzsrsazxzzxcvbnmadgfhjjkqwrtyuuuiop
4:04 AM Dec 1st from web ”
Much too advanced for a four year old – must be Gordon practicing for PMQ’s
4.04 AM! Isn’t that when Gordon Gets up?
Well I supposse fvdfzsrsazxzzxcvbnmadgfhjjkqwrtyuuuiop is better than his usual garbage.
Thats exactly what a pissed scotsman sounds like.
yufukinbastazdkuntzoxgimyapoondfarapint.
Gordon did say that he wakes at four in the morning.
Who’s paying for this piss-up? If we are then who the fuck is this Conrad Kaulket kuntjerk who issues (or doesn’t issue) invites?
And is this now a clear confirmation that Sarah Brown (another unelected fuck) is part of the political arm of Downing Street? Is she some sort of ‘First Lady’ (or is that ‘Fist Lady’? Konrad probably knows.)?
Kevan McGuire says:-
Mirror,Mirror on the wall who is the cleverest of them all? and the mirror answers back to his surprise,all I am seeing is a clueless arsehole writing for a shit newspaper.
Now don’t be too kind, dear.
KM Mirror mirror on the walll who is the fairest of them all?
Mirror You are Kevin
KM Mirror mirror on the walll who is the fairest of them all?
Mirror You are Kevin
KM F*** that for a game of soldiers. For decent political commentary you need the Sun.
Cant understand why guido , now that ally is back perhaps they dont need no2 political blogg owner , they must be smoking used tea bags again !
I went to uni with Konrad, top bloke. Luton Town fan iirc.
Big fucking hair.
Richard “I’m and intellectual” Bacon will be there…… ’nuff said!!
Konrad Caulkett may be Sarah Brown’s spad nowadays but he used to be Gordon’s boyfriend.
“fvdfzsrsazxzzxcvbnmadgfhjjkqwrtyuuuiop”
4:04 AM Dec 1st from web
Is that the noises Gordon makes while using the turkey baster?
I think its Gordonese for “Spain is a member of the G20 if I say so………..bastards”
@ Guido: take comfort in the fact that you have not been invited. Just image, having been a little frivolous on the mulled wine the night before, you wake up at Number 10 to this:
http://eotp.wordpress.com/2009/05/08/2009-new-labour-unelected-p-m-gordon-brown-parasite/
AGGGGHHH!!!!!!