December 3rd, 2009

+++ Ed Balls Went to Eton for a Term +++


  1. 1
    Gordon Brown says:

    Did he deliver the milk???



    • 58
      Hang The Bastards says:

      I hope they fagged his virgin ass — BIG TIME !

      No wonder he hates those Eton boys.


    • 82
      Errors and Omissions says:

      ‘Balls brought up at Eton’

      should have read ‘Balls eaten and brought up’



    • 94
      Giuseppe Mazzini says:

      Guido! Delete this blog entry now! Really old news…


    • 116
      Hypocritical Nadine says:

      No he did not.His dad taught there for a term on a teacher exchange.Ed Balls went to the local primary school,nothing to do with Eton.So get you facts right Fawkes.Old news indeed.The Times had the correct version in 2008.


      • 149
        Eddykins says:

        Ooooh Yvette honey, is that you?


      • 196
        Polly says:

        Balls went to Eton for one term. FACT


        • 229
          Samee says:

          A bit of investigative journalism required here Guido – use your experience to find out if he was educated AT Eton or IN Eton.


          • Fair Game says:

            He went to eton for a term. No one is saying he attended the school fot a term.

            If Gordon and New Labour can Bullshit about Spain being a member of the G20 then Balls and Eton is fair game


          • Ben Eton said says:

            Shit I thought I’d lost it all after the Thatcher Joke but now i’m in AA aus aus shh , hasn’t Hugh lawyer lost some weight.


          • CV Storey says:

            Sounds a bit like Dolly and Berkeley ie at or in…now where have we heard that sort of shite before?


          • Samee says:

            That’s what I’d like to see – some public statement where Balls infers that he attended Eton (which turns out to be untrue), followed by an allegation that Dolly’s visit to Berkeley was mere copycatism. For the record, I work with someone who was AT Berkeley during the period in question and she was unable to confirm his attendance.


        • 250
          Call me Infidel says:

          Ed Balls is a Hunting fuck fact!


      • 228
        Ruth Kelly's plaything says:

        Times Online 22 June 2008 quotes Ed Balls as saying of his father’s job-exchange with an Eton master:-

        “For one term a master went to Norwich and we went to Eton – I didn’t go to the school itself but another local [primary] one just for that term.”

        If Ed is, for once, telling the truth, this potentially picturesque story is dead.

        Pity – it would have been lovely if it were true.


      • 271
        Archer Karchole says:

        What a scoop


    • 193
      Bottler Brown Craps his kecks says:



      • 217
        Ministry of Truth says:

        well spotted he did shat the old breeks for a minute


        • 257
          Duck! says:

          He thought he was going to be the recipient of the blokes shoe!

          I would rather throw a fucking grenade at him.


          • A Shrink says:

            The questioner was innocuous,affable even.I think what happened was that Brown experienced a brief and terrifying visual hallucination.


      • 222
        Well Heeled Traveller says:

        As the front lines of Europe have already shown;

        That is the tame version of the future waiting for left wingers, but they do not realise what they have jumped into bed with just for a few short term votes.

        The LBGT community support will evaporate, the teaching and policing support will evaporate, the other religious and atheist support, the intellectual support all one by one will vanish as the populace has to deal with the reality and affects of an emboldened and radicalised Islam once the numbers start growing out of control.

        Even on the Guardian you can slowly notice the creeping infiltration and subversion of the left wing by Islamics claiming to be liberal, yet calling for a greater role for Islam in the UK, yet this is not consistent with liberalism and a hypocritical volte face.

        The Labour party will slowly become an Islamic centric party as that is where the funding and numbers will come from and the cowards within it will submit just to taste power and left wings Dhimmis will be refused and left behind in bitter rejection.

        Watch these exact sentiments come into fruition slowly over the next two decades.


        • 265
          Poll Pot says:

          Nah, Islamic parties fighting election openly in GE after next. Sharia law in Leicester, Luton etc.


        • 306
          Serves 2 purposes says:

          It is written in their version of the ‘book’. Pass a law to ensure every house has to hang a joint of HAM (Noah’s son?) in the living room, as spain did in the 14thC

          Else, the Caliphate will be once more


      • 339
        Kezza the Hat says:

        What the heck did the guy say? Did anyone understand his broad Bradford accent?


    • 240
      Bully Boy Balls says:

      So what ?


    • 338
      Anon says:

      Was he expelled? I think we should be told.


  2. 2
    Gordon Brown says:

    It was the right thing to do


  3. 3
    David Cameron says:

    Really, I don’t remember him.


    • 14
      Sukyspook says:

      Weren’t you his fag David??


    • 66
      Hypocritical Nadine says:

      They are all elites but Balls got out from under the pile.Scholarship boy because of his BRAINS.Tories need to keep quiet about this.


      • 74
        resurgemus says:

        you mean he was sponsored by Brains the brewery ?

        probably an act of charity to help a dimwit. Still at least he has progressed despite his lack of cerebral matter.


      • 119
        Fawkes Mistake Noter says:

        He went to the local primary,not ETON.GUIDO BOOBED AGAIN.


      • 294

        Either he went there as a pupil or he went there to live. Make your mind up HN!


      • 327

        Brains? lol Balls is thick as pigshit compared to the scolarship entry at my (Direct Grant in 1975) grammar school.

        Any one of us ruff tuff council estate boys would have made him cry for years, and got better A-levels than him.

        Personally, I don’t give a toss whether he went to Eton – he’s just another semi-educated Marxist indoctrinated third rate tosser who joined the ranks of the New Labour infiltration in the 80s.

        But given the last 13 years of New Labour mendacity, any attacks on those responsible are fair game.


        • 331
          Peter Grimes says:

          Quite right, Paragnostic. Ed Bollox is a thick, lisping bully. If the exchange teacher went to Norwich whence the Bolloxes came, Bollox is obviously, like that other fat, gobby, lying ZaNuLieBor c.unt Presctt, also an inbreed!


        • 333
          backwoodsman says:

          But how will mrs b cope with being married to a man who eats baybees ???


      • 330
        Sarge says:

        I see they are all elites but Balls is a better elite. Where have I heard that before ? ah yes – ‘We are all equal but some are more equal than others’

        I think we should definietley not keep quiet about this philosophy. Why do you want to suppress it?

        You are the hypocrite. Fuck off.


  4. 4
    Jimmy says:

    It’s worse than that, he was in the tories at Cambridge.

    It shows people can change for the better.


    • 72
      jgm2 says:

      It would be like the fucking Harrod’s sale tat. You’d have to camp out for a week beforehand to be sure of being near the head of the queue. There would be a queue around the block to hang these fuckers.

      It’d be like the opening night of a new Star Wars film.


    • 122
      Fawkes Mistake Noter says:

      Not true check your prejudiced facts.He never went to Eton,see Times on line June 2008.


      • 124
        Fawkes Mistake Noter says:

        Thick as Thieves is seriously disturbed even within this minging blog site.Go for a cure.


      • 213
        udderly 'orrible says:

        FMN is clearly an import from Kack Strawman’s little lad’s new blog intake of rapid rebutters now under the management of a drunken bully who drove Dr David Kelly to his death (RIP)and sexed-up the Iraq dossier – Liebour’s death warrant for millions.
        Traitors and criminals, all of them, directly or by association.
        The Liebour Parteh its what we do – screw you.


      • 296

        Oh, FMN that makes it Balls Senior who was the class traitor, then?


    • 154
      Red Rum says:

      Me too
      I change for the better
      Always put on my coat to go to Ladbrokes


  5. 5
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Was he asked to leave?


    • 123
      question says:

      does ‘leave’ have the same meaning at Eton Genghiz?


      • 182
        EC1 PhD (OE) says:

        If it was long then it would be half term but there are no terms, only halves. A lot of Japanese tourists saw more of Eton than Ed Balls did.


  6. 6
    Anna says:

    Was he expelled?


  7. 8
    Balls on the playing fields of Eton says:

    Only a term, Was he expelled?


  8. 9
    Sukyspook says:

    Ed Balls attended Eton…….to clean the windows every week and was talent spotted for his ability not give a s*”t how clean or clear they were.

    “So what” he would say when confronted by a small boy who knew that the windows were really REALLY dirty but no one else would comment – too posh to lower themselves to ever see the truth.


  9. 10
    Merde Ox says:

    Yvette Cooper went to Roedean for two terms and to Cheltenham College for a whole year.


  10. 11
    Dave "Cast Iron Guarantee" Cameron says:

    Yes it’s true

    Schools Secretary Ed Balls went to Eton.

    He was only five years old. It was only for a term.

    But go he did.

    Balls Senior was on a job-swap scheme with an Eton “beak” who replaced him for a term at his own academic post in Norwich. So the Balls family, young Ed too, decamped for three months to a school master’s house in Eton, dad donned the bow tie each morning and taught the boys. Not his happiest posting, Ed Junior recalls.

    I am hopeful he will also join our “job swap scheme” and Labour can have Michael Gove in part exchange.



    • 51
      Dimwit says:

      Miss Turd Hat got punked, good and proper.


    • 127
      Nurse F says:

      Steady on dear chap.Do take your pills in future.


    • 201
      Eton Balls Game says:

      Nice phrasing. Nailed him in one.


    • 225
      I was on the grassy knoll says:

      Assassinated you say?

      Nice to meet you, well for the right price anything is possible.


    • 242
      endogenousgrowththeory says:

      Yes, he was living in Eton, rather than being AT Eton. Imagine though, every morning, him leaving through the gates in his polyester shirt & shorts-off to his little school; whilst Peregrine and chums were entering the grounds. Must have made him a bitter man.
      You can understand why he pinned his hopes on endogenous growth theory-just wishful thinking really.


      • 259
        Elonger gated says:

        What,that his dick will get longer for Yvette boy wonder?


      • 328

        You do know what ‘neo-endogenous growth theory’ amounts to, don’t you?

        Hint – it’s an internally created credit boom that relies on fooling the rest of the world into funding your defecit. Sound familiar?


    • 314
      Nick says:

      Vermin is exterminated, not assassinated.


  11. 16
    Sir William Waad says:

    Balls at Eton? What as – kitchen boy? Hat brusher? Official catamite?


    • 27
      Jethro says:

      19 … in the ‘Against-the-Wall-Game’?


    • 28

      He was “Head Boy” – on account of his fantastic technique (ask Gordon).

      He was also “Bottom of the Class” – (ask Mandelson)


    • 75

      Test paper
      Term one assessment. Pass mark of 45% is required to remain at this school.
      ‘Asquith House’

      “Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.”
      Natural history
      “A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.”
      “Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives.”
      general knowledge
      “To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow.”
      “In Macbeth the son of Denmark says A whore, a whore. My kingdom for a whore”

      I am afraid the Balls minor has not achieved the required grades and must pack his shipping trunk and rather large tuck box and vacate the premises by the end of Swithin’s term. Please settle the fees with the bursar immediately.

      Also when Marie Antoinette was told of the hunger of the peasants she did not reply “So what?”


    • 89
      Everyday's a school day says:

      Learned a new word, thank you WW


  12. 17
    Miss Turd Hat says:



  13. 18
    The Old ones are best says:


    Grammar-hating Ed Balls has a little Eton secret


  14. 20
    Dave "Cast Iron Guarantee" Cameron says:

    A scouse women goes to the council to register for child benefit.

    “How many children?” asks the council worker.

    “10” replies the woman.

    “10?” says the council worker. “What are their names?”

    “Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne” she answers.

    “What? They’ve all got the same name?” says the council worker, “Doesn’t that get confusing?”

    “Don’t be soft,” says the scouse woman, “It’s great – if they’re out playing in the street I just have to yell ‘WAAAAAYNE, YER DINNERS READY’ or ‘WAAAAAAYNE GO TO BED NOW YER SOFT LAD!’ and they all do it.”

    “But what if you want to speak to one individually?” asks the perturbed council worker.

    “That’s easy,” says the Scouse woman “I just use their surnames.”


  15. 23
    Stepney says:

    Into every life a moment comes when the sun peeks out from behind a cloud and all is right with the world. This is such a moment.

    The he went to another public school didn’t he? And Darling. Charles Clarke, Alan Johnson, Patricia Hewitt – grammar schools; those bad, vile organisations which are so divisive offering kids from poor backgrounds a start in life.

    Spike the guns Mr Fawkes. Spike ‘em good.


    • 48
      Anonymous says:

      The Grammar Schools didn’t give children from lower income families a better start in life than good Comprehensives do now.


      • 68
        Peter Grimes says:

        Well you have just proved you know fuck all about that!


      • 77
        sinosimon says:

        ah…but the point was that bright children from poor backgrounds had free access to the grammar schools……….unlike now where unless mummy and daddy can afford to buy the million pound house next to holland park you’re stuffed………so much more equitable for the jemima and euan guardian readers……..


      • 87
        Frank says:

        Yes they did.


      • 92
        Stepney says:

        They did teach grammar though. Vital lessons you appear to have missed. Perhaps you were away that day.

        Oh, and by the way, in those days a child from a poor background had a local grammar school to attend. It’s unlikely nowadays, that a similar child from a similar background, has access to what you term “a good Comprehensive”.

        Net result?


      • 96
        jgm2 says:

        So, for clarity, you’re suggesting that the (say) top 50% of students at a ‘good’ Comprehensive perform better in exams than the top 50% of students at a selective grammar school.


        And I have a bridge to sell you.


      • 105
        Anonymous says:

        Can’t agree with you there.
        It offered very high levels of education in every town,
        and allowed those without money to move up in the world.

        It’s a lot less easy now, institutions are a lot bigger and not selective.

        Result – less competition for the establishment’s kids, which of course was the objective all along!


        • 113
          Sould have listened says:

          From my experience, most are offered a good education, it is just that many decide not to accept the gift


          • jgm2 says:

            That’s the kicker. My brother still lives in Birmingham. His kids are just into secondary school. When I was going to grammar school the place was packed with first generation Irish. We had one black kid in the entire year (90 kids). Now, apparently, it’s packed with first generation Indians.

            The natives are still fucking about in their comprehensives revelling in their idiocy like they have been for generations.

            It’s not in Labour’s interests to point this out although I believe Frank Fields has referred to it as ‘poverty of ambition’. He’s dead right.

            My brother also informs me that he was wandering through Birmingham University Dental department and saw the names of the entire graduate intake up on a wall someplace. Mohammed This. Asif That. Singh The Other.

            Not a single Anglo-sounding name in the entire intake. Not one.

            Again, that suited Labour just fine till now but it also explains the success of the B&P.


          • Dack Blog says:

            Students/parents aren’t expected to take responsibility these days. All they have is ‘rights’. And the more disruptive you/your progeny are, the more rights you have.


          • jgm2 says:

            [Maureen Lipman]

            Oooooooh. You’ve got a Statement. You get a Statement your school gets more money.

            The system is fucked. Fucked by Labour imbeciles.


          • Dack Blog says:

            That may be, but it will continue getting worse – albeit a different kind of ‘worse’ – under the Tories. Schools reflect society, and society is fucked.


          • jgm2 says:

            Fair enough Dack. Je suis d’accord. Society is fucked.


    • 79
      L Fansafety says:

      Darling went to Loretto, Scaotland’s most expensive private school (as did Andrew Marr and Norman Lamont)
      Balls went to Nottingham Grammar (private)
      Harman – St Paul’s
      Jowell- St Margarets Aberdeen

      etc etc


      • 262
        The sentence. says:

        Hopefully followed by a long and horrific spell in HPM Wormwood Scrubs.

        Brown will get the full Romanian wall treatment.


    • 125
      Dack Blog says:

      As a ‘no party’ voter who just missed out on the chance to try for a grammar school, grew up in an area where council estates were considered ‘posh’ and now teaches in a tough comp – I’d bring them back tomorrow. I’d get rid of ‘inclusion’ tomorrow, too.


    • 131
      Nurse F says:

      Big mistake.balls was 5 when his dad taught at Eton on an exchange.Balls went to the local primary school.Old News.


      • 157
        TaT's 'special' Gay Friend says:

        Spain is in the G20. If it’s obfusacation you want. It is that you will get.


      • 180
        Ummmmmmm .. says:

        So its all bollocks then?

        Yeah – fort so

        edyerkayshun (repeat 3000 times)


      • 238
        British Insurgent says:

        In all your incarnations here you are a one track pony.

        Why are you so determined to disbelieve this story?

        If you are correct & it is erroneous, then surely sitting back & reading Guidos retraction later would suffice, no?

        Yet you persist with your mantra & with your appalling grammar. Why?


  16. 29
    Irene says:

    Blimey – he managed the entrance exam then!


  17. 32
    Anonymous says:

    He didn’t though, did he. His father worked there, and Ed went to a local primary school


  18. 34
    Irene says:

    So he managed the entrance exam then!


  19. 36
    Seymour Cox says:

    Eton’s not what it was….


  20. 38

    What the blinkity mother-fuckerdedy fuck is going on with your numbering system Fawkes? The sequence here is as comprehensible as one of Prof Jones’ tree ring proxy models.

    Hey, is there any truth in the rumour that we’re going to war with Spain over their Okey Cokey G20 status?


  21. 40
    Dimwit says:

    Tat got punked!


  22. 42
    Dimwit says:

    Harry Windsor.


  23. 45
    Sir William Waad says:

    The ordering of the comments on this blog must have been done by somebody at the Treasury or the Bank of England.


  24. 46
    Dolly the Sheep says:

    He was an Eton Mess


  25. 49
    Raptor says:

    At Eton, a term is known as a “half”. No wonder Balls left before he grew a full set.


  26. 57
    Master Baiting says:

    If this means Ed Balls was at Eton, does it mean Spain is a member of the G20?


  27. 61
    Sam Hart says:

    He went to the town and his dad taught there for a term but he didn’t attend the school.


  28. 62
    Craig says:

    There’s GOT to be a story here, surely?


  29. 62
    EdBallswasTHEEtonmess says:

    Michael Balls, a scientist…is now emeritus professor of biology at Nottingham University. He was fiercely opposed to grammar schools, organising the campaign against the 11-plus in Norfolk. This did not stop him later educating his son privately at Nottingham high school.

    Ah, socialists, don’t you just love em.


    • 146
      concrete pump says:

      Massive fucking hypocrites, don’t give a fuck for talent…oh no, everybody MUST be treated / taught the same. I might be wrong, but wasn’t their an MP or member of the house of lords who wanted ESN children taught with normal kids because he / she thought all children should be educated together.

      Labour = collectivism = c*ntishness.

      Hammonds list of labour mp’s who went to private schools is interesting, but not surprising.

      Fuck a duck!!!!


    • 260

      How else was he going to ensure his kid got ahead, if not by smashing the chances of all those nasty poor people who might otherwise have competed with him.


  30. 65
    Lil Olmey says:

    Of course Balls is opposed to selection. Nature would have rejected him at birth.


  31. 67
    Anonymous says:

    Will brown sack him then, seeing as it’s such a heinous crime to have attended.

    Or was he in Eton+ so that’s OK?,… or didn’t inhale?


  32. 76
    Anonymous says:

    Please say he’s on QT tonight!

    Will be the only fun thing seeing as they’ll just moan about some foreign countries (America/Afganistan) and fail to mention the fact we are no longer sovereign and what we all thought about “climate change” has now been proved.


    • 91

      Q/T will be

      1} troop deployment – timetable for withdrawl
      2} Eton toff/ class war
      3} Climate bollocks from Denmark or dog attack debate repeated again
      4} Should non doms be allowed to stand as mps in posh areas
      5} RBS bonuses – let them walk
      6} Tiger Woods final round joke question

      unlikely questions
      – Is Spain in the G20 ?
      – Osama in Pakistan / Pakistan rift
      – Sarkozy Brown rift
      – Gordon Brown dumping conference pledge on childcare
      – HBOS was dead BEFORE merger.


      • 301

        Was –

        1} RBS
        2} Afgan
        3}Mansion tax
        6 – Tiger woods

        1st point from Dimby “The panel don’t know the questions in advance..”

        No. Its not that hard to guess though is it.


    • 100
      Dack Blog says:

      David Dimbleby will be joined in London by Margaret Beckett, Andrew Lansley, Vince Cable, Kirstie Allsopp and Clive Anderson.

      Kirstie Allsopp? (Tho’ rumoured to be going to the Lords if Dave gets in). Clive Anderson? That’s getting on for half a panel of celebs. They’ll be having to sing off-key or eat a plate of kangaroo gonads next.


      • 144
        jgm2 says:

        Clive Anderson is bloody funny. And smart.

        Kirsty ‘Big Buttons’ Allsop, on the other hand, has the IQ of a fish. Her brilliant plan to keep property spectacularly over-valued was to cut stamp duty. Brilliant Kirsty. So slashing a maximum of 4% off house price costs is going to magically persuade people to pay 100% more than the fucking things are worth on any sensible measure?

        Oh look. It didn’t.

        The only funny thing is that it bounced Brown into making cuts on Stamp Duty.

        Hahahahaha. Bounced into an idiot policy by a talking head.


        • 155
          Dack Blog says:

          Apologies for the length (said the bishop to the actress), but:

          ‘In October 2007 she was asked by David Cameron to head a review of home buying, working alongside the Conservative shadow housing minister to create policies that could help first-time buyers.

          The daughter of a baron, after initially embarking on a career in journalism as a writer for Country Life magazine, she now says: “I don’t think there is a more important issue out there than housing… so many of people’s hopes and dreams rely on having a roof over their heads.”

          She has campaigned against the government’s introduction of Home Information Packs and says she feels “passionate about the struggle of first-time buyers”.

          It has been reported that, should David Cameron win the next election, she would be one of 20 high-profile people to enter the House of Lords. She responded to this by saying: “It would only be a yes on the understanding that I could talk about issues I feel passionately about. If any legislation came in on childcare, the under-fives or maternity leave, which I do know something about, I could contribute on that.”‘

          (I reckon it’ll be Lord Bono within a year an’ all if Dave gets in.)

          Clive’s okay. But one’s enough.


      • 162
        Mr Plum says:

        I expect the first question tonight will be on inheritance tax and Tory toffs.
        Vince state the obvious Cable will give a mention to his mansion tax.
        Andrew Pike Lansley will waffle.
        And Margaret why the long face Becket will mostly look down her nose.


  33. 80
    Just put it on the expenses says:

    Of course he did, he got a first class education and a swanky job and now he wants all our children to go to a ‘bog standard comp’. The hypocrisy of this lot leaves me cold.


  34. 83
    Peter Carter-Fuck says:

    So what?


  35. 85

    Was he wearing that Nazi era German officer’s uniform he had at Oxford ?


  36. 86
    Dungeekin says:

    That’s gonna cause problems with the next Labour Manifesto.



  37. 90
    GW scam says:

    I thought Balls went to the CRU at East Anglia for a term to brush up on data fiddling and opponent silencing.


    • 227
      udderly 'orrible says:

      It was actually to learn about handling FOI requests, lessons he then put to use in the Ofsted/Haringey/Baby Peter matter.


  38. 93
    Carry On Don't Lose Your Head (1967) says:

    Where’s MB when you need him?



  39. 97
    apricotfox says:

    The Times had this story back in June. Ed did not go to Eton itself…he went to a local primary. He was , however, privately educated at Nottingham High….


    • 108
      oldfella says:

      the real discrepancy here is that you assume he was educated – I mean look at him, those revolving eyes and expert linguistic ability – you gotta be kiddin’


      • 135
        Speech Therapist says:

        Balls has a slight speech impediment.Don’t mock him for that.Winston Churchill had one as well.


        • 264
          WSC - his left toe is cleverer and nicer than Balls and Cooper combined says:

          and there the similarity stops dead in it’s track.


    • 178
      Ummmmmmm .. says:


      Nottinymham . . .

      Nottynham . ..

      Nuffin ter do wiv Robbing Hood then?

      Yer kno – thieving – and ostensibly giving to the poor, – only in this case, piss-poor politicos, hangers-on and jerks.


      • 189
        Sukyspook says:

        HA ha ha ha ha ha haaaa ha ha ha ah oooooooo lololol rofl, lmao:

        “Before it was modified by Norman influence the name had several forms, e.g. Snothryngham, Snottingaham, Snottingham—but Snotengaham was the earliest. This ending “ham” is akin to the word home, and is of Anglo-Saxon origin. It tells us of a people who came to this country—not, as the Romans did, to exploit—but to colonise and to make for themselves a home. It is not at all unlikely that Snottingham was the home of an Anglian family—Snot (the wise) by name. Thus with the possessive “ing” the whole word means

        “The home of Snot.””


  40. 104
    Wordsworth Byron-Tennyson (dec) says:

    To Eton went one called Ed Balls
    (You do things like that when fate calls)
    Unable to cope
    He started to mope
    And boo-hooed for dear mummy in the Hall.

    Ed sneaked to the beak: ‘Of course sir,
    Do you want me lick even more sir?’
    Though Ed was quite dinky
    His eyes went all blinky
    Which is why Yvette now to him looks saucier.


  41. 107
    RestandBthankful says:

    Ed Balls = Eton Mess


  42. 112
    Anonymous says:



  43. 115
    Dave "Cast Iron Guarantee" Cameron says:

    I got some cocaine on credit today.

    I put it on my card.


  44. 117
    H says:

    Ed Balls = Old Etonian



  45. 118
    The Admiral says:

    Alex King maybe…..?


  46. 121
    BillyBob poops on ZaNuLab says:

    Could not stand being a ‘fag’ ??? soft tosser !!!!!


  47. 136
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Ed is a grammar school boy
    Just like his chum McJonah he cant even do “scruffy” well


  48. 142
    Ratsniffer says:

    Fat sweaty pseudo marxists with smug shit-eating grins; it’s funny how they are almost always middle class and priviledged. And yet they dispise working class people who want to better themselves. No wonder social mobility has stagnated under NuMarxists.

    I expect Mr Bollocks would have made a very capable fag had he stayed there. The prefects could have used him to go and warm toilet seats on a cold morning.


    • 151
      tarquin says:

      Yvette looks like a fresher who’s seen better days.


    • 267
      Jethro's Privately-educated Brother says:

      Tut,tut, Sir: surely everyone knows that they’re NEVER called ‘toilet seats’ at Eton, nothing so vulgar! They’re ‘chunder-bucket-heads’.
      Of course, at Winchester, they’re ‘Gully-pillows’.
      I believe that, at Harrow, they’re vile enough to term then ‘Poop-decks’, while, at Westminster, they’re ALWAYS referred to as ‘cack-props’.
      My Sister was able to tell me that, Cheltenham Ladies might allude to ‘drizzle-pots’, and a good friend of hers from the more forthright Roedean called them ‘clankers’ (no. 1) and ‘whooshers’ (no. 2).
      A Paulina of my acquaintance, says that the periphrasis was ‘log-tables’ or ‘Byword’ (rhyming slang?).


  49. 145
    Anonymous says:

    Guido, you are a complete tosser!!! You have achieved the impossible of creating sympathy for Ballsdrick by getting your facts wrong.


  50. 152
    Anonymous says:

    Look, you clever dicks – I went to a boys secondary modern, and then to a Technical High School for 6th form (The Grammar was ANOTHER all boys school, and the Tech was Co-ed – no brainer when you are 16!!!)

    One thing I did learn was to read and understand. Mr Fawkes said Ballsup went to Eton for a term – not Eton College. Look on the map – there is, indeed, a place called Eton. Ithink that the college may be there to!

    If I told you I went to Cambridge, would you think I had a degree?



    • 158
      Labour educated numptie says:

      “If I told you I went to Cambridge, would you think I had a degree?”



    • 161
      Kate Getaway says:

      You are my Dolly Draper?


    • 172
      nell says:

      He was nonetheless privately educated at Nottingham High School – so therefore is still amongst the 8% or so of children who have a priveleged education.

      Nothing wrong with that unless you are are trying to infer that you didn’t have a priveleged education as does Balls!!


  51. 166
    Moley says:

    Guido made a mistake on kelvin Mackenzie’s quote; what he actually said was;

    “I worry that Labour don’t really understand the ordinary working man and woman in this country any more.… The trouble is, I’m not sure that Labour haven’t simply become a Job Centre Plus for Guardian readers.


  52. 171
    Neo-Endogenous Crap and other Noo_Lie_Bore Bullshitting Bollocks says:

    It wasna’e ma fult – it wuz tha’ Etun wot did fae me . . .

    Oh wait a mo, – I’ve used the wrong voice.

    Mzzzzzzz. Evvette Bollocks, wife of aforementioned says

    ohh – ee was a good boy, – ever so good wiv the children – when I finally got ‘im to do wot every woman expects ‘er man ter do!

    mind you I ‘ad ter show ‘im everything.

    I fink as ‘ow ee ‘ad too much contact wiv the treasury twat ter kno wot a womun wants.


  53. 175

    I hate Ed Balls as much as – probably more than – the next man, but this story is utter bollocks isn’t it?

    Are you sure this isn’t a Tory blog?


  54. 177
    nell says:

    I suspect the only two people in gordon’s cabinet that could claim to be the sort of working class most welfare benefit dependents would support are postman pat and aintbustinagut.

    Most of the rest have been privately educated and put through what are regarded as prestigious universities.


  55. 179
    jgm2 says:

    OT – you might want to lead the charge on this (if true) although I trust the poster who is brilliant.

    It seems Bernanke is up for re-selection so he’s having to re-apply for his old job up on the hill today. It seems he doesn’t want the Fed to lose its supervisory role.

    It appears he has specifically singled out why that would be a bad idea with reference to the Maximum Imbeciles signature policy of taking the supervisory role off the BoE so that when Northern Rock went tits up they hadn’t the first clue what the problem was.

    Dynamite stuff. Can’t find the transcripts on Google yet (hearing still ongoing).

    Brown trashed by chairman of the Fed.


    Fill your boots.


    • 186
      Moley says:

      Don’t think the blogs THAT good.

      He suggests that Brown is quaking because the BBC will lead on the story in the evening news.

      This is a doubleplusungood story and it will be disappeared.


      • 198
        nell says:

        It’s a bit like expecting the Beeb to lead on climategate isn’t it?


      • 199
        jgm2 says:

        I think that’s the ‘Bwahahahaha’ bit. It will be buried by the BBC – as long as they can ignore it. But if the story is true then that testimony’s transcript will shortly be arriving onto Google. The rest is up to us.


    • 209
      Radio Gnome says:

      Surely the only reason the BofE was given responsibility to set interests rates was so that if it went through the roof,as in the early ’90s,Labour could claim it wasn’t their fault. Major got a kicking over 15% interest levels and Brown wanted to escape that fate.


  56. 181
    Spam Javelin says:

    In Eton not at Eton. Like in Berkeley, not at Berkeley.


  57. 190
    EC1 PhD (OE) says:

    There was a scheme in the lower sixth form when oiks from the local comprehensive would swap places with toffs for a few weeks. The toffs got to smoke and drink with the oiks’ mates who discovered that they’re spotty, smell and don’t eat babies, just like them, while the poor oiks was subjected to relentless abuse and they had to do their homework. Happy days.


  58. 191
    Vote Vote Vote for Bollocks and HaPerson says:



  59. 192
    Man made global warming is a myth says:

    They have been at ‘it’ before – many of the warmists used to be coolists until the CIA uncovered the fraud back in the 70’s. Scares, closing down debate, its all been done before.


  60. 194
    The Admiral says:

    Seriously O/T

    Is Jack Straw “in bed with” Harriot Harperson (forgotten her real name, honestly.)


    • 195
      The Admiral says:

      Harman, that’s the one….


    • 202
      nell says:

      As a woman I find it hard to understand what he’s trying to say.

      If someone commits murder why should they be treated differently as a man or a woman. The crime is what should be tried surely.

      Likewise the recent females who have been discovered in this internet paedophile / nursery school affair – should be judged for their crime. not their sex.

      How can he argue that they should be judged more leniently because they are mothers and women. Even their own children have disowned them??

      Straw is talking rubbish!!!


    • 230
      Dack Blog says:

      I heard Corston being interviewed about this – a week-ish ago? He’s pretty much quoting her. I’m all for equality of the sexes but from from what I see/hear/read women do get a bum deal when it comes to the murder/manslaughter of a partner. I read somewhere they get a third to two-thirds more time than men get – and for men it’s far more often reduced from murder to manslaughter on the claim that ‘she was (even if no evidence for it as it sometimes turns out) having an affair’ or ‘it was the red mist what dunnit’. May be wrong but it’s the impression I get. Two women a week are killed by their partners/ex-partners, apparently.


  61. 197
    Lord High Mandleson of Hubris says:

    Look all this name calling and eton this and eton that I couldnt give a toss. What is important indeed the only thing that is important is that after 13 years of Labour the country is bankrupt. End of. Period. Call an election!


  62. 200
    Anonymous says:

    Off Topic but proof that their are plenty wankers out there, Christ I despair.


    • 231
      Dack Blog says:

      ‘Manger chic’. Hahaha!


    • 246
      Ruth Kelly's plaything says:

      Pull yourself together. This smells like nothing more than a Debenham’s PR getting a few column-inches from the more credulous media. It’s harmless bollox.

      The good thing is that it saves one of our (BBC’s) employees from actually having to go out in the wet to pursue stories. They could catch cold; elfensafety, innit.


    • 270
      Dressing up for school says:

      When my wife and I rocked up to our kids school for the parents evening (you know the one,where by 7pm they were already 8 hours behind on the appointments cos Mrs Arsehole never realised her kid Junior Arsehole was totally thick and lazy as shit and wanted to beat the teacher up for this surprise) – there would be a few parents dressed in virtually evening gown and bow tie – amazing!


  63. 203
    13eastie (156 Days: "Bye-bye, Gordon!") says:

    This would be an unfortunate route to go down.

    No-one can seriously pretend that anyone should be held to account for their parents’ choices (and this seems a very tenuous link anyway).

    No-one should be letting Brown set a socially-divisive class-war agenda.

    Brown should be called to account for his hate-based ‘politics’, but only AFTER answering on his total responsibility for royally fucking up the economy in which barely any of his cabinet have ever actually participated.

    Brown does not understand, and therefore seems to hate, everyone who is not just like him (a null constitution).

    “Hate and spite. They offer no sulyooshuns, but they’re in my DNA”.


  64. 204
    UKIP, the only ones who give a shit about UK plc says:


    • 216
      Ukip self destruct button says:

      Farage to Pearson.
      Hero to zero.


      • 236
        Slowly slowly catch a monkey says:

        Give the chap some slack. Everyone in the press thought Gordon was the dogs bollocks in his early days. Lord Pearson comes recommended by Farage just wait a while.


        • 241
          Patience says:

          AND Bear in mind when Farage becomes a Westminster MP his profile will be so much higher.

          I doubt anyone knows the name of their MEP, I suspect most could name their MP.

          Farage is playing a long game and unless the main parties forgo tradition then he will take Mr Speaker’s seat at Westminster.


          • 13eastie (154 Days: Bye-bye, Gordon!) says:

            “I suspect most could name their MP”.

            Can’t fault your generosity.

            Fuck, you over-estimate the electorate…


  65. 205
    Gordon Brown says:

    I would just like to make one thing clear. It has come to my attention that some of you don’t know where the phrase G20 came from. Well, it was me, it’s called the G ( G for Gorgon) 20 (for the number of countries) because it makes sense, it’s the right thing to do and, before you ask, yes Spayne is in it, innit! Thank you


  66. 206

    Might I suggest that it all went downhill when they let common little chaps like Harold Macmillan in – apparently because he was a scholar and could say ‘give it to me up the ass’ in Latin.
    But of course we all know that the Conservative party went downhill after it allowed the sons of bankers to join.
    Heseltine! What a motherfucker!


  67. 208
    Gordon Brown says:

    The “token” Old Etonian in the Labour party is Mark Fisher

    Not a lot of people know that

    Good Night


  68. 212
    Section D Notice says:

    Blinky couldn’t hack it.


  69. 215
    pienomics says:

    Ed Balls and his sound-bite wife encapsulate all that is wrong with the UK. Neither of these people have ever had a proper job in their lives.

    By that I mean being responsible for paying someones salary. They haven’t a clue about the difficulties people with medium sized and small businesses face on a daily basis.

    They belong to an ‘elite’ bien pensant class who consider themselves superior to everyone else in the country.

    Well, it’s nearly all over for Balls n’ Cooper.

    She reminds me of the nodding dogs plonkers put in their rear car window. Let’s face it, she’s spent the last 11 years nodding her head at every dim utterance of Blair n’ Brown.

    She’s like a Nu Labour Churchill ( the dog in the insurance ad).


    • 220
      resurgemus says:


      they’ve never done an honest days’s work, never had to pay a salary and never had to experience life as ordinary people live it.


  70. 221
    bergen says:

    O/T I see that this blog’s very old friend Geoff Hoon has been named by the military as obstructing the proper equipping of the Army for Iraq to allow Nulab to pretend it had not been planned long in advance.Sod the poor bloody infantry.Probably forces of conservatism anyway.

    I’m struggling to remember the best description for Hoon….I’m sure we had one.


  71. 224
    Norfolk nell says:

    Did anyone hear Jim McN say that Mandleson reminded him of NankyPoo. Like Mandleson I didn’t know who this was until Jim explained. Mandelson not amused. I fell around laughing. Hope someone will take this up-it’s a great nickname.
    I note that D.Cameron and colleagues are getting some stick for having money. I would like to know how Prescott,Blair,Balls etc. became millionaires.It seems to me that being in politics have made them wealthy. How could they possibly have acquired such riches without fleecing the taxpayers. DC’s dad worked hard and paid taxes. Our government doesnot know the meaning of hard work but knows how to get rich quick.


    • 232
      nell says:

      Bliar now owns six (SIX) homes and they’re the ones we know about, each worth more than a million. But you forgot to mention mandy who is also now a multi millionaire.

      Mandy tried to con us into thinking he inherited all this money from his Mum but unfortunately the records show otherwise. So where did it come from??


    • 235
      udderly 'orrible says:

      ….Pooh-Bah ( Mikado, as in Lord High Everything Else).


  72. 226
    Koba says:

    Where did the Blinking Toff go afterwards?

    Why did he leave?


  73. 237
    anonymouse in the Treasury skirting boards says:

    “Let me make it clear, I don’t like selection,” Balls quoted in the Times article in June 2008.

    Not surprising really as the little shit never got selected for anything!


  74. 248
    Jonah Watch says:

    Class War


    Dave failed to capitalise on the 10% band when it was announced (dohhhhhhhhh) but he should hold firm on IHT as this article clearly points out


  75. 255
    Seen in The Times says:

    Great copy on The Times website top right;

    “Sarkozy pulls out of Gordon Brown…..”

    with the rest of the headline to be read when you click on the sentence.

    Mmmm – can I have Mrs Sarkozy if he obviously is otherwise engaged with the Moron Brown?!


  76. 256
    Anonymous says:

    Oh dear, retard Brown forgot to write to 3 families who lost their relatives in Afghanistan.


  77. 261
    Dack Blog says:

    Nadine and Letts doing a bit of Bercow(s) bashing on News at 10.


  78. 272
    Obama is a twat says:



  79. 274
  80. 275
    caesars wife says:

    naughty city and loads of lolly of chums , when ruin was chancellor every other champagne and canapes party had them in , young temp etonian ed balls , whose lurrrve of ghoulman sachs knew no bounds (120 million went there way for advice on bank bailout coutesy of treasury) , labour sounding awfully tory (must be blonde effect) , CW thinks massive hole could appear for Labour , see this lot swinging from mass gibbert , it was nae me it was somthing else !!

    Nice opener from labour , seeing what tories have got over the weekend to prep for wed , CW can smell the aroma comming from the bunker toilet meeting


  81. 279
    Anonymous says:

    Guido looks like this is another case of not “at” Eton but rather “in” Eton.


  82. 285
  83. 286
    Moley says:

    Jeff Randall in the Telegraph.

    “The nation’s annual deficit is heading for £200 billion. Yes, we are short to the tune of £200,000,000,000. That is considerably more than the state’s combined spending each year on transport, housing, defence and education”.

    The reason why neither Cameron nor Brown have talked about spending cuts is that it is not possible to completely stop spending on transport, housing, defence and education all at the same time.

    The only way out of this mess is so horrible that nobody dare even think about it, let alone talk about it. All they can do is keep on pretending that there isn’t a problem.

    And the longer we wait the worse it gets.
    No wonder that Brown is beginning to panic.


  84. 287
    Ging Gang Gooley says:

    Portion of Gordon

    (”)_(”) Clowns to the left of me and jokers to the right


  85. 288
  86. 289
    anon, anon, anon....... says:

    Sally comes ( out) after the odd reference to her sexual past on here.


  87. 290
    Dack Blog says:

    QT: Clive’s overdoing the old bumbler routine. And Marge thought there were only 86 houses worth 1 (or 2?) mill plus. That’s just one street in Chelsea, love.


  88. 293
    Dodgy Dave says:

    O/T Question Time. Looks like the news has been cancelled, cos troughing horse Beckett’s on (jeez, she’s almost as ugly as Baroness UpYourHoleLand). FFS. Half an hour on property tax…


    • 298
      Dack Blog says:

      Do the panel not know what a minaret is, ffs? WEAR it? Sheesh.


      • 300
        Margeret Becketts Ugly Sister says:

        I love the way that all panellists are horrified at the thought that the people should express their opinions in a referendum.
        On to the cutting issue of the year,Tiger Woods.

        What a farce.


        • 302
          Anonymous says:

          Cretins taking questions from simpletons, that’s entertainment.


        • 303
          Dack Blog says:

          Clive had been snorting something in the green room, methinks.


          • Margaret Becketts Ugly Sister says:

            I was surprised at his reticence considering he’s not usually a shrinking violet. Perhaps he’s okay at taking the piss,but not so keen to stand up and express any beliefs in case it affects his career as a “celeb”


          • Engineer says:

            Perhaps he doesn’t express his beliefs because he doesn’t have any.


          • Dack Blog says:

            He strikes me as one of those people who court celebrity to boost their self-esteem, but never feel comfortable being in the limelight. He came across as a complete oaf. And Kirsty sounded a bit ‘blonde’ as well. Rallying Vince with a ‘my poor in-laws and their 2 mill abode’ argument isn’t going to gain much sympathy with the masses. If Dave does put her in ‘the’ house he’s more of a muppet than I thought he was. (And that would be an achievement).


          • Five minutes to midnight says:

            Sad to say,but he’ll probably exceed your estimation. If he’s leaving off showing his true hand until calling time,he’s cutting it a bit fine.


        • 304
          Anonymous says:

          I’d vote for capital punishment for those fuckers in the HoC anyday.


      • 307
        Engineer says:

        Quite interesting how the panel waffled round the question, then the Muslim guy in the audience said straightforwardly what many on this blog believe – ‘multiculturalism’ doesn’t work. Well, not in Slough, anyway. Freedom of religion and thought, but there has to be a sensible limit to the expression of those beliefs if it is to fit with the common good of British society.

        Thank you to that gentleman in the audience – the voice of sanity.


      • 308
        Dodgy Dave says:

        Laugh DB. STOP PRESS. Miguel Portaloo admits to being screwed on the Biffo show. The truth is out.


        • 313
          Political Pornography says:

          If he gets any closer to Abbott,one of them will come.


        • 323
          Dack Blog says:

          I didn’t know the Tories only mentioned their comp education on their website – and no mention if private – until Brillo said so. Is that true (if I could be arsed I’d check).


  89. 295
    Ging Gang Gooley says:

    look at thew spincter


  90. 297
    A hypocritical shit, masquerading as ‘Leader’ of a once honourable and great nation, (before EUSSR) says:

    Ah’m wonderful!

    Ah’ niva dun a days’ wuk in ma loif!

    But ma’ grateness will liv’ fae evurmore!

    An’ nuthn’s ma fult ye un’stan!


  91. 299
    HASH GORDON (saviour of the universe) says:

    Ed Ball,s Went to eton ! No wonder his eyes are bulging !


  92. 305
    Engineer says:

    Ed Balls went to Eton (sort of). They’re not daft at Eton, though are they? Sussed him in no time and got rid of him quick enough, didn’t they?


  93. 316
    Colonel Madd says:

    Andrew Lansley completely wet on QT tonight.

    Colt .45… imaginery cross between eyes and hairline ..;Bosh!

    I’m marginally more likely to shag Kirsty after tonights performance though……………………………………………..


  94. 317
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Frank Luntz knows bugger all about Britain & its politics. It’s his fault the Tories have a CMD as leader. Thanks a lot Yankee boy.


  95. 337
    Sesachili says:

    Perhaps he was David’s fag?


  96. 340

    […] +++ Ed Balls Went to Eton for a Term +++ […]


  97. 341

    […] is being enigmatic this evening – either that or he’s fluffed a blog post, which declares without any explanation that “Ed Balls Went to Eton for a Term”. Could this be the embryo of a seriously damaging scoop […]


  98. Sir William Waad says:

    Another cuttlefish for that parrot!


  99. resurgemus says:

    pay tax at home Tone !


  100. 13
    Sir William Waad says:

    Pay the back tax Zac!
    Pay the back tax Zac!
    Pay the back tax Zac!
    Pay the back tax Zac!


  101. 25
    Anonymous says:

    Tone’s not seeking election, dimwit.


  102. 21
    Zac Goldsmith says:

    No it’s time to move on, ordinary people, out of the way!


  103. 24
    Anonymous says:

    Miss Turd Hat,
    Respect where it’s due Man.


  104. resurgemus says:

    are Labour taxing backs now ?

    wouldn’t surprise me, they have an in-built aversion to people with backbones.


  105. Moley says:

    Zac clearly needs some financial lessons from the Kinnocks, Mandelson and Prescott, who made their money by being hypocritical socialists.

    The socialist motto; We rob the poor because they can’t defend themselves.


  106. Moley says:

    Anyone for a Kinnock?


  107. 13eastie (154 Days: "Bye-bye, Gordon!") says:

    Hey Bill,

    You make some entertaining posts, but this is silly.

    How can anyone pay tax that was never due?

    If we are to demand ex-gratia payments to the Revenue then Balls and Cooper can start making amends for their troughing first…

    And the same goes for all the Labour wankers who trot out the old “I wouldn’t mind paying more tax” line.

    Fucking go for it then.

    There is really no law against sending packets of cash to the Revenue, as long as they can turn away from the printing presses long enough to count it…


  108. jgm2 says:

    Zac Goldsmith is trying to get elected.


  109. Full list of known private school Labour MPs


  110. Mr Slater's Parrot says:

    SQUEEEEERRRRKK!!! (ting) (crunch) A-EEE-RKK!!


  111. Peter Grimes says:

    And Jonah McDoom and Sweaty Bollox are not?



  112. michael says:

    but why cant someone at cco access this and do something with it ?


  113. The Admiral says:

    Something to do with occupying the higher moral ground, maybe…..


  114. The Admiral says:



  115. The Admiral says:

    Or even Alex King maybe……?

    Oh FFS……


  116. Grand Poobah First Lord of the Treasury, Lord Chief Justice, Commander-in-Chief, Lord High Admiral.. says:

    He wants to be ASKED.


  117. Jethro says:

    Are you sure that’s what he wants – cuz my ‘earin’s not what it woz.


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