Hammond Announces Quango Number 18
Philip Hammond gave a speech today outlining how a Tory government will be “Doing More With Less”. He austerely told the audience
Our challenge is two-fold: First to ensure the rapid implementation across Government and the public services of the many efficiency savings that have already been identified, but not effectively delivered. And secondly to embed the process of constant innovation in our public sector to create a culture in which the pursuit of efficiency becomes self-sustaining.
To help me in these tasks, we have decided to establish a Shadow Public Services Productivity Advisory Board…
That will be Tory Quango number 18 by Guido’s count…
UPDATE : Tom in the comments quips “What is this, a slimline quango?”, even the Cabinet Office’s Liam Byrne is laughing, “Philip Hammond is clearly a quango-addict”.
I bet you’ve missed a few an’ all.
I’m well sexy.
I’m a cloyingly sanctimonious homosexual. Oooohhhh matron!!
“I’m more of a meat and two veg man myself” – Mrs. Iain Dale, on two occasions, Wed 25 October 2009
watch this!!
Shadow ministers “haven’t run a piss-up in a brewery”, says Tory star
It seems that Tory rising star Stephen Greenhalgh has been a little incautious in his choice of words, according to this trade magazine report of his comments at a recent event.
The Hammersmith & Fulham council leader suggested yesterday on a public podium that some shadow Cabinet members may not have the experience to run the country.
‘My mates are all in the shadow Cabinet, waiting to get those [ministerial] boxes, being terribly excited. I went to university with them, they haven’t run a piss-up in a brewery,’ he said.
‘They’re going to get a department of state, in one case running the finances of the nation.’
Greenhalgh pointed to other countries, such as France and the US, where members of the government had typically served at a regional level earlier in their careers. ‘If you’re going to fail, fail running Alabama, fail running Texas, fail running the city of Paris – don’t just take over the country.’
I see Labourhome are cut and pasting their drivel on here. If I were them I’d be more concerned with the number of posts they get there from disgruntled Labour folk who hate Gordon and the his endless lies.
Shut up you fool.
No you f*cking shut up you intolerant windbag.
how about you go get bummed you horrid creature. Stay away from my children and repent
I’ll repent on your mouth Nd all over your gave if you’re not careful sunshine. They don’t like it up ‘em!
You’re a spspab.
He is!
UKIP it is then.
or the B&P as they are both interchangeable with Pearsons promotion
Stupid boy, the B&P is a socialist construct, UKIP is not.
Have you ever read a book, or are you just studiously ignorant?
http://hocuspocus825iu345t34wt.blogspot.com/
Ad how many NuLab infested quangos are out there? And how many laws did Demons Eyes pass during his ministrations?
About three fucking thousand……..the c*nt.
we shall add to that….
Sorry to be a pedant, but shouldn’t the ‘b’ at the end of your title be a ‘Eszett’.
It should be ‘Pickelhaube’, which is one of those helmets with a pointy bit on top. Nothing to do with houses.
I want to be chair of the pork pie quango because I want a new chin and some more wads of fat on my tum.Rolly polly pickle and pie kiss the girls and make them fly.
hallo chum!
stop eating you fat fuk
Why don’t they just suspend every single civil servant, make them all sit a civil service exam (as in days of yore) those that pass stay, those that fail go and we’ll end up with a civil service that has a clue and no habitual need for consultants or quangos.
I’d envisage the Highways Agency staffed with civil engineers and logisticians (instead of Charlize, who used to be a social worker Grade IV) and stuff might actually start to work in this benighted land again.
Good thinking, but far too simple and pragmatic.
Nothing must come in the way of the pensionable rights of the Quangocrats, CS, LG, etc.
That is the end game in everything from the UN downwards.
Think about it, and join up the dots.
Ok try again… why don’t they just suspend every civil servant full stop… (from the nearest light-polluting lamp post).
Unfortunately there is something called “employment law” You can’t just “suspend” people because you don’t like what th e government does. God help me I’ve had twenty years of this lawyers charter stuff. You don’t “suspend” employees – you give them written warnings and an opportunity to mend their ways. Then if they haven’t you give them yet more counselling and help to improve. If at last it all fails and you can convince people their dismissal is on fair grounds… blah blah – then they have right of appeal.
Instead of posting stupid Kenneth Williams jokes why dont Guido posters write something intelligent? All they are doing is helping enemies write off the blogsphere, and rightly so. Haha up your bottom, ho ho. Shame on you.
No more quango’s got it? Tell the hundreds of thousands of civil servants what you expect them to deliver and tell them failure to deliver means being managed out without compensation due to “inverse bonuses” now in their contract. Fail to deliver and you have to pay your salary back.
What they do nowadays is create a new department, move the dross into it under new contracts or ‘promotions’ and when it’s fallen flat on its face after a few months, give them the sack.
Suie or is it Susie? Did you get dismissed from the civil service or something? Perhaps because of your drinking problem that prevents you from spelling your own name properly? Just a thought.
Susie / Suie
I’d avoid any walks in the woods for a while.
Regards,
Sir Gus.
Susie
You are right – restructuring, reorganisation, name changes, move to new premises for the new organisation, job descriptions revised, posts regraded, closed pool interviews, and at the end of the process around eighteen months in my experience, the handful of useless ones who haven’t found another job and can’t be placed get handsomely paid off. Only to start the next day in another job.
“In the Thick of it” doesn’t really do it – we need a “Yes Minister” for modern times.
Dear RightisthenewLeft
You too. Shitface. We’re watching.
Regards,
Sir Gus
It takes 2 to quango.
winner
cock
Mmmmmm!
Shut your hole you piece of complete crap
Fuck off, TaT, you boring piece of shit.
nah, not me you cripple.
pay closer attention.
thankyou.
Said the one trick pony.
Correction: said the number one top boy.
Sorry top boy I am sad and jealous of your genius and at night I get drunk on cheap cider and come here and make a right c’unt of myself ranting on and on.
Sorry top boy, I will not do it again.
Please forgive me, I am your faithful slag.
apology accepted slag.
thick as thieves is a merciful hero and he understands that your retardation is genetically pre-determined and therefore not your fault.
If only. I was amazed to see it required 3 people in yellow high visibility jackets, a roll of tape to close off the pavement, a clip board and a motorised high level platform just to clean a 1st floor window!!!
What the hell is wrong with one man, a ladder (or an extendible pole), and a bucket? It worked perfectly well for centuries.
Now we have to over pay three people, one to clean the window, one to operate the platform and one to tick things off on the clipboard, and the cost of the platform.
It’s fucking insane!
It’s the future, and just wait until they all want assistants.
You made that up though didn’t you? You little fibber you.
One word explains it all.
Lawyers.
Well, lawyers, law suits, the precautionary principle and the complete fucking lunacy that is health and safety.
Most of the jobs that used to be done off ladders now require scaffolding – is there a secret scaffolders guild funding NuLiebour?
Fuck – I’m only 45 – not nearly old enough to be this pissed off with it all, but 12 years of being governed by lying idiot shites will do that to you.
Lawyers are only part of the problem TP. Admittedly they have taken to court some almost laughable cases, but ultimately the decision as to whether or not a case succeeds is down to the judge. Because we have a left-leaning, mamby-pamby judiciary that refuses to accept the general principle that people should take responsibility of their own actions, we are suffering from the present culture where, when anything at all happens, it absolutley has to be the fault of someone else, no matter how stupid the actions of the claimant.
That is where the lunacy of the present situation has come from. Every time one of the more ludicrous claims succeeds, the situation beomes a little bit worse until, over the years, we have the insanity that now prevails. Lawyers (and I am not one of them) will merely exploit the situation, that is what they do.
Lawyers in parliament, making laws for the benefit of lawyers outside parliament.
That is essentially all you need to know about modern politics.
Three thousand new laws in 12 years, tells you how hard they work for themselves and their fellow lawyers benefit.
Every one of those laws, which have no purpose other than to enrich lawyers and the political class, do nothing other than leech money and freedom, from previously innocent and free people.
(The Tory Party sings)
Tell me when will you be mine
Tell me quango, quango, quango
We can share a love divine
Please don’t make me wait again
My favourite song, in a working mens club. Best when everyone is inebriated and sings along. It’s a British classic. Brings tears to the eyes.
What is this, a slimline quango?
A Tory way of getting more quangos.Slimline means we can sneak them in without you lot noticing.
Quango Lite.
“What is this, a slimline quango?”
Put bluntly, it is a lie. Dismal Dave`s version of toryism looks remarkably similar to Tone BLiars version of “third way” fascism.
You know when you’ve been quangoed.
Even if its Diet Quango.
Direct Democracy and a full range of policies – UKIP’s new leader:
Oi, UKIP, pay for your ads like everyone else.
I’ve only got beer money……….I’ll buy you a beer?
It’s suddenly all become very clear…
The lefty bias at the BBC has come about because the present generation of producers and directors were too young at the time to realize that Citizen Smith was a not a template for their future career path.
“were too young at the time to realize that Citizen Smith was a sit com not a template for their future careers…”
*
*
*
*
THEY THORT HE WOZ ENGLISH
THEY WERE TOO YUNG AT THE TIME TU WREEALYZE
THAT WARREN MITCHELL WAS A TEMPL8*
A BONY FIDO PRIMER FAECAE SPECIMEN SPAECAE EAST END
DGJEWISH PHAENODGJAENOTYPE
DID HE MAKE A MOKKERWREE OF THE ENGLISH OR WOT
BLOODY SAD AUNTIE MAUD
M8*
Power to no people!
I wanted the sexy tranny to win! Hubba hubba! Arrroooooo!! yum yum! I’ll have some of that thank you please! Miiiiiaowwww!!! Honk honk!
Lol oh Geert, how you crack me up :-) by the way, thanks man for warning us of the dangers posed by Islamic immigration
Infidel
Allahu akhbar
Is a Mooslim a thin cow?
Stop insulting Shilpa Shitti
Meet the Blu Labor, same as the old Labot.
I thought quangos were good for you. Oh no, that’s mangoes.
Oh Dear, what happened to the bonfire of all the Quangos?, nobody got the gumption to get the can of petrol out and spark a fire amongst the rotten, wet and mouldering dead wood.
What happened to the “Bonfire of the quangos?” (btw, that was Gordon Brown’s words that)….
‘elf and safety were having non of that bonfire rubbish, too dangerous.
Quite agree, bonfires are far too dangerous to be allowed in public.
Instead we shall erect giant television screens and show virtual bonfires and firework displays interspersed with government advertisments and EU sponsored charity appeals.
Health and safety, it is the progressive way forward to the glorious new future and scientific corporatist socialism.
These quangos could easily get out of hand.
Can I suggest we set up a quango to monitor the quangos and ensure they don’t spiral out of control.
I think we should have a quango to monitor the cabinet , one to monitor the HoC and one to monitor the HoL.
Each should be made up of members of the public who have no political affiliations, no business or union connections to government and who agree that they will seek no benefit from these serial sellers of favours.
And the members of these quangos will be unpaid and only able to claim elementary expenses proved by receipts.
Oh and these quangos should have the power to commit any member of the cabinet, the HoC and HoL, found guilty of troughing or decipt to the guilloitine with recourse to appeal!!!
Well, of course, I meant WITHOUT recourse to appeal.
How about Shadow Quangos?
Double the efficiency of administration overnight. Simple.
So long as the Shadow Leader of the House pays their salaries personally from his or her own pocket, not from the public purse.
Why not save time and just have unelected politicians like that nice lady in Europe and my chum Mandy.
Quis quangodiet ipsos quangodes?
quis caceret ipsos merdai?
It would appear that we also need a Quango to oversee the use of Latin on English language Blogs.
I propose that Dismal Dave, once elected glorious leader, investigates this urgent matter rapidly and sets up a working party to oversee the formation of a public enquiry, that will draw up guidelines for a new Internet Minister, who will empower a new Quango “lite” with a cast iron constitutional Blog key, which will enable said Quango, to regulate all uses of Latin and its appropriate internet use.
Dismal Daves new Conservative “lite”, the progressive third way to socialism.
18 vs 1300?
Your choice.
18 isn’t bad for a party that’s not even in power ‘yet’.
Well down Stepney my boy, top of the class.
Look it will take us a year to get to 1300 give us more time will you.
Sad fact no 31.
To start a bonfire you need someone to gather the crap you’re going to burn, someone to get the petrol from the garage and someone to find the matches.
If it takes 18 quangos to burn the rest then I’m game.
Bring on the Quangonator!
Death to all Quangos. WTF should they pay salaries at all. It should have been gratis. Then to add insult to injury the pension rights are actually unaffordable.
At a hasty first glance, I read that as ‘Doing More With Lies’. An understandable error, I think.
I think you are beginning to get the hang of how our democracy works, albeit subliminally.
Hammond is the second wealthiest member of the shadow cabinet.
Which is saying a lot. No problem with that. I’m fucking envious, in fact.
Just that I’m wondering how much experience of doing more with less he’s had.
Yea agree what do these Tories know about surviving with less .Hate the bastards.
The tories and labour are one and the same, was it not Bliar who railed against “tory” planned ID cards when he was in opposition? Did not Bliar support leaving the “undemocratic” EU when he was out of power? Now the tories are in opposition they have magically become anti ID cards and faintly anti EU, yet when they were in office previously they introduced the Single European Act and Maastrict.
They are ALL liars, do not vote for the LabLibCon trick.
party politics is eroding our democracy and our civil liberties.
there is only one way to reverse that erosion and that is to vote for a local independent candidate.
vote democracy – vote independent
Did you say the “second weakest” member of the Shadow Cabinet? That really is a damning comment considering the generally weak calibre of the Shadow Cabinet. He certainly doesn’t inspire much confidence. Meet the fully airbrushed “blue skies” Shadow Cabinet here:
http://www.conservatives.com/People/Meet_the_Shadow_Cabinet.aspx
Not sure how you can call that lot ‘generally weak’. Unknown may be a more accurate term seeing as they appear to be hellbent on pushing Cameron ahead of everyone else. There’s a smattering of old faces – not so much airbrushed as emulsioned in a couple of places – but compare that little lot with the likes of Manglesons, Balls and his strap-on wielding missus Cooper, Harmen, Droopy Jowells and Brown and I know who makes me feel less inclined to sponsor a transit van full of fertilizer on a one-way delivery to Whitehall. For the moment anyway
To help me in these tasks, we have decided to establish a Shadow Public Services Produckhouse Advisory Board
to be superceded by the Shadow Public Amenities and Services, Totally In Control board, no doubt.
Ah the ‘working class tory’, i’ve visited his site…….and it’s shit.
not as shit as you
Just got back from the homnasium , have you!
…more to cum…
A pity Philip Hammond couldn’t speak in English wasn’t it?
Plain english would have been even better!!!
Tories are evil shit controlled by dirty Nazi jews. The filth will privatise schools, hospitals, roads – even the air you breath, to give profits to dirty Nazi jews.
Vote Tory – vote for a filthy evil Nazi jew kleptocracy.
You are a fuck up, crawl back under your stone, no one gives a thrupenny wank to what you think. C*nt.
Are you for real? Or are you just ironic?
Not ironic, moronic.
Its MB on speed.
I’m guessing TF is Jewish.
Been drinking Liebour juice again?
That would be jgm2 in disguise
isn’t it?
OT sent the following to the BACP
Dear Sir/Madam
I am considering sending my young son to Mr Draper for some therapy but I am unable to verify Mr Draper’s qualifications and whether he has been CRB checked. Can you please confirm his qualifications are genuine and he is safe to work with children.
Got this reply, it seems this blog is popular in the psychotherapist community and since when have Emails been private?
Dear Sir,
Thank you for your email, which I note is not private but has also been published on the Guido Fawkes website.
I am able to confirm that BACP has seen the MA certificate that Mr Draper has obtained from the Wright Institute. The status of this degree has been confirmed in writing by their President, Peter Dybwad. It would therefore be helpful if bloggers and journalists who have challenged the possession of these degrees by Mr Draper would publish a correction. I can also confirm that Mr Draper holds a valid MA from the Tavistock Clinic in North London.
On a more general note regarding criminal record (CRB) checks, these are not yet compulsorily required because the professions of counselling and psychotherapy are not, as yet, statutorily regulated, despite a long campaign by BACP to achieve this end. Such regulation appears unlikely to happen before 2012 (although counselling psychologists were statutorily regulated earlier this year). Those currently working for local authorities are obliged to obtain CRB clearance but under the present system the checks in wider practice are a matter of contract between employers and individuals.
Mr. Draper has assured BACP that he obeys all relevant laws and regulations in relation to his practice, and holds an ongoing certificate of Professional Liability Insurance.
Peter Dyckwad?
Bastard. You made me go back and check.
Me too!
I think you are mistaken; I believe that all counsellors and therapists require a CRB check. People who I know in that line of work have required such checks.
My understanding of the Children’s Act 2004 is that anyone who has contact with children is required to be cleared by the CRB.
But then the BACP that have given him carte blanche to cooperate look like charlatans don’t they. So I doubt they’d expect to kow tow to the law!!!!
Anyone who decides to consult Derek Draper on ANYTHING needs their head examining. What I cannot understand is a professional body like BACP accepting his apology of wrongdoing and allowing him to continue.If he was just a student you might forgive his stupidity.BUT he is supposed to be a professional.If he is such a ‘together’ person why would he engage in such wicked and incredibly juvenile behaviour? Surely psychologists are supposed to be above all this stuff? It seems to me that he has not changed since his days as a spin doctor. He needs therapy himself and lots of it.BTW the psychotherapists I know had to have 10 years of therapy themselves before being allowed to take on clients.He appears to have done very little work on his own psyche. I would not touch him with a bargepole.I suppose the only tyoe of person who would consult him would be the likes of Jordan AKA Katie Price.They are made for each other.Attention seeking star-struck and talentless. His beard fools nobody, it does not give him gravitas. It just hides a fat,ugly face.
That’s the first time I’ve seen the fulsome-breasted Kate referred to as “his beard”. Mind you, given some of his “associates”, maybe not so surprising.
Question is why would a psychologist want to have a political slant to his views ????
Aren’t they supposed to be open minded for the benefit of their clients??
What are we to assume here ?? That Derek is using his Psychotherapy practice to trick people into labour’s mindset??!!
That sounds very like the Moonies doesn’t it??!!
Exceptional point.
Zanu and the Moonies. You never see them in the same room.
Depends on whether they are Full Moonies?
So to summerise the general consensus on this website is that Dr Draper MD is a bit dodgy and dropping off you’re 8 year old daughter for unsupervised therapy might be a little ill advised in the currant climate.
The Draper in question is neither Dr nor MD. He is a psycho therapist and failed spin doctor with very dodgy facial hair.
Apparently Kate isn’t giving him any at the moment so he’s a bit hard up and desperate.
Perhaps he should see a psychotherapist.
‘currant’ climate eh Ahemed, you a product of the NeverLiebore edukashun service then?
Dr Draper MD (sic) is a myth, Drippy Drooper has been exposed for what he is, vile and foul like his mates in the most abominable government in living memory.
BACP and its ethics committee deserve some very close-up scrutiny.
BCAP is a racket that the likes of Al Capone would be proud of.
Yet the Government will not touch them, as an interesting libel case between them and some guy in the guardian highlighted.
10 years of therapy before allowed near clients? 10? Did you add the zero after the one by mistake? 10?
Thats some apprenticeship!!! Good post otherwise. But cut out the buuuuuullshit.
Dave…….it’s not BULLSHIT…….Analytical psychologists that I know have psychoanalysis for 10 years. Good thing too.Too many people like Dolly are being allowed to take on clients when they themselves have too many personal issues and are absolutely unfit people. I know of other psychologists who are members of BACP who are away with the fairies. People who need help must be assured that the person they consult has had proper training. Studying for a psychology qualification is not the same as having your own psyche examined. It can take years to unravel your own demons. That’s why I say I would not touch Dolly with a bargepole.
An interesting point re: psychotherapists. On a similiar theme I’ve met a couple of ‘aspiring’ social workers in my time, one of whom was in training. What complete fuck-ups!
Saying they had ‘issues’ didn’t really cover it. I’d hate to be one of their clients. But as our society continues to break down with the erosion of the family unit, we will have scary people such as these telling others what to do, thinking they know best.
No wonder we’re in the sh*t.
There is no such thing as ‘Professional Liability Insurance’ – it is Professional Indemnity Insurance.
Well fuck my old boots……..the curse of Jonah will strike again,this time at what is left of the UK banks.
U.K. Prime Minister Gordon Brown’s government is monitoring the situation in Dubai, his spokeswoman said today.
“Clearly the restructuring announcement has caused disruption and uncertainty in world markets,” Brown’s spokeswoman Vickie Sheriff told reporters in London. Brown’s “view is that U.K. banks are well capitalized having undergone rigorous stress testing,” she said.
gordon brown is not in charge of the uk banks they are in charge of him
Minister for the Environment chips in…Just like the Bridges in Cockersmouth.
Thanks for the dental appointment reminder.
‘Doing more with less’ has always stood me in good stead with Lady Waad.
I’m doing more with a Les.
Don’t you just….
love it when that happens
Gordon Brown: “I’m personally ordering a deep clean of all NHS Hospitals…except those covered by Basildon and Thurrock Trust”.
NHS/Labour talking head on the radio giving it ‘there are over one hundred Hospital trusts and no more than a handful (handful? – there’s more?) have these kind of serious problems’ followed by this absolute belter; that thanks to the huge amounts of cash they’d squandered these problems were now being highlighted.
Christ. What a fucking arsehole.
It’s like going into Darfur and counting bodies and then claiming that things were much better now because at least you knew how many people are getting killed. Great. We didn’t need to spend 800 billion fucking quid to figure that out.
Utter fucking imbeciles. Plankton. Jackasses. Eeeeee-aaaaaaawww.
Yup. Labour are thick vacuous socialist wankers. Coming in May 2010; The Disaster of English Socialism Part II: Blair MK-II, The Camoron Project (Land of Cast Iron Guarantees).
Trailer-
Businessman: OH MY GOD! The EU have given France the job of regulating the City of London! The City! Britain’s economy will never, EVER, recover!
Camoron: Don’t worry, I promised a referendum, but I was lying. I am a fucking liar. Would you like to look at my windmill? I cycle to work, but my paperwork follows in a limousine. Sometimes my bicycle is stolen. I think hoodies should be hugged. My name is Camoron. I’m a despicable dishonest thick-as-they-come socialist twat. Vote for me.
I am loving that Brown colluded with the French to do a deal to fuck over the city of London and the fact that Cameron will do precisely NOTHING to prevent it.
The only choice in 2010, Vote for British Independence, British Sovereignty, British Borders, British Industry, British Education, British Defence, British Taxation, British solutions to Britain’s Problems. Or vote for giving the EU a continuous Rim job whilst we are buttfucked out of existence.
Vote for British people to sort out our own problems, or vote to have our tongue locked up the anus of the EU for ever!
We officially lose our sovereignty at midnight on Monday next. That is the day that the EU becomes locked into the Lisbon Treaty ruleset.
When this happens, people will see exactly how much we have had stolen from us by traitors thieves and charlatans.
UKIP could conceivably steal enough votes to force a hung Parliament.
Cameron would be wise to offer the people of this country a referendum on membership of the EU. He has no chance of getting my vote without it!
Remember the Cult series ‘The Prisoner’.
No 66 Million and Two isn’t allowed to escape either. Along with all the other numbers before.
This is the biggest Rip Off ever, and we have sleep walked into it!
Bastards.
Still twittering ‘ I love the NHS’ are you Sarah you dyke bitch ?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/6664205/Tory-hearts-and-minds-campaign-in-Whitehall-could-save-60-billion.html
He reckons they can save £60bn on a leaner more efficient government.
Well I don’t know about that.
But any six year old can tell him that he’d save more by:
1) reigning in the out of control expenses culture of members of the HoC and the HoL.
2) reigning in the personal expenditure on the London Head Office of the Department for Education and Skills where EdB has installed private gyms, prayer rooms and any number of luxurious features for himself and his staff at a cost to the taxpayers for many millions ( A bit like Fred the Shred did in his Scottish HQ just before RBS hit the wall)!!!!!
3) Ditto Bobaintbustinagut and the MoD , fantastic new building. Well Done Bob!!! New way to banbkrupt the State !!!! – whilst they keep our troops starved of necessary equipment in Afghanistan
4) Changing the gold plated pension scheme of members of HoC and the Civil Service.
5) Getting rid of Regional Development Authorities.
6) Merging District and County Councils.
7) …………….and on and on…………………….
…reining…
Yes of course! Thankyou.
Save 60bn quid? I could do that in a morning.
Simply get the entire civil service payroll list. And the NHS one. They’re probably routinely left lying around on trains anyway and then write a mail-merge file to send a P45 and a severence cheque to every person hired since 2001.
Job done.
The flaw in your otherwise admirable plan is that since 2001 there will have been quite a few retirements. Whilst I support your idea of a slimmed down Civil Service and NHS you clearly haven’t thought it through very well. C+ must try harder.
great idea … but no severance cheque, lighter letter, less postage, more savings.
So you want to save 60bn quid?
Simples….. tell the EU to fuck off.
So you want to save £1.5 TRILLION quid?
Simples….. tell the Banker scum to fuck off.
What a tranny spastic cockholster you are jgm2. Dismiss the entire civil service and NHS? Who then exactly would pay you your benefits and who would see your sex change through then? Retard.
re-negociate our postion in the Eu, scrap ID cards, announce that Global warming is bollocks, together that should save a few bob.
Bring the troops home- save lives and cash we can’t afford.
Well that is a few trillion saved in one short thread.
If I was PM, I would get us out of the EU, scrap fractional reserve banking of fiat currency, Scrap ID cards and the database surveillance state. Scrap PFI financing of state capital expenditure and scrap income tax on people’s labour.
I would tax commerce, but not people’s labour. Business would be taxed at a flat percentage. Cannabis and prostitution would be legal, quality controlled and taxed heavily. Troops would be here protecting our sovereignty and borders and I would retain our nuclear deterrent.
I would eradicate thousands of worthless statutes and return the country to a simpler, fairer common law. A crime can only occur if someone is caused injury, harm or loss. If none of those things have been caused to anyone, then there has been no crime committed.
There would be no fines for leaving a bin a couple of inches too full.
We would face penalties on far fewer things, but the penalties would be severe.
We would invest in manufacturing. The only thing we seem to manufacture these days is stupid forms to fill in. That would be reduced massively.
What about the offside rule?
I propose we also halve the number of MPs and wind up all quangos.
Dear Mr. Ned
I wish to apply for the post of Cannabis Quality and Prostitutory Satisfaction Enforcement Officer for Edenbridge council.
I am very honest and have great work experience at a TV station owned by some chums.
Hire me.
Dave “Cast Iron Guaruntee” Cameron
Dear Mr Ned.
Can you please form a political party so that I can join and campaign for you, as well as vote for you? I especially like your policy of quality controlling cannibis and prostitutes. In short, I like the cut of your jib!
When you take over government, an you also make it a crime punishable by liposuction for said prostitutes who lie about size? That’s quite annoying. Though the blow always helps :-)
Yours,
Dave
When we hear these phantom promises to save money – in this case a mere £60bn – I always ask myself why these so-called savings were not in place from the start….
Do more with less
“5) Getting rid of Regional Development Authorities.” talking of which I passed the logo of ours EEDA and I hope they’ve got a CCTV of me ostentatiously spitting upon it.
I’ve had some dealings with them ( East of England Development Agency ) and they are worse than useless.
I hate to think how much they cost us.
We wouldn’t miss them if they were abolished tomorrow.
Hopefully they will be abolished next year.!!!!
These are some of the embryonic EU regions. Scrap the lot of them!
Yes- get rid of the awful regionalisation of England and all the form-fillers and non-job holders it has created.
England should only have unitary authorities (except maybe in London), saving God-knows-how-much in bureaucracy. One councillor per ward, not three as with some local authorities. Reduce, the number of English MPs by at least half- and send the Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish MPs home to run their own nations.
And get out of the EU of course. And the UK if necessary.
How much would that save?
—- off
For those interested Select committee on Parliament channel interviewing police on the damian green fuck up.
Yep. Great fun. Howard, Beith and Ming all giving it some stick. Love the looks of astonishment. Even Ann Coffey lauches in now and again. Best Friday evening telly for some time.
Oh, – I think quangoes are an awfully good idea. And that’s not just because ‘I’m on hire’ to Bliar.
The Prime Minister thinks so too. As do many other people.
Anyway, – turning to other matters, – I wonder what Tone said to Mr Bush that made the relationship so solid.
Perhaps he’ll tell me one day.
Philip Hammond is a New Labour clone in Tory clothing.
To 82.
I wonder what is wrong with Phillip Hammond,a public sevices advisory board indeed.
Just what does he not understand regarding the word Quango,Eg: not productive,jobs for the boys,totally useless functions etc:etc: and I could go on.
If Hammond and his intelligence cant figure out what goes on with these bloody useless taxpayer funded arseholes off his own bat he shouldn’t be in the job in the first place.
David Cameron lies as easily and silkily as Bliar, he doesnt mean what he says and he doesnt say what he means.
The newfakeconservatives are ready and waiting to take power and they will not honour any of their promises apart from those which enrich their friends’N'families of course.
More quango nonjobs, more gravytrain nonjbs, more immigration, more Brussels direct rule, more taxes(for the prole scum taxslaves only).
With the newfakeconservatives you get cast iron guarantees by the bucket load, I mean would honest Dave lie to you? With Dave a promise is a cast iron promise that you can take to the bank!
Yessireee Bob Daves word is his (junk)bond so vote newfakeconservative for richer multimillionaires and richer bankers and richer nonjob gravytrain political parasites.
As a special incentive Dave will only employ the finest friends’N'families of the parasite class like Peter Mandelson who is ready to serve Dave and ready to heed the call to duty when cast iron honest Dave calls after the election.
What more could any voter want? But wait theres more, much more on special offer but obviously you will have to wait until after the election for the biggest surprises, so dont think about it just follow honest Dave over the cliff, he would never betray you would he?
Dave might want to create some new quangos for his pals but I don’t think Brown is in the mood to leave him any spending money.
Nope. Dave will be forced to cut early and hard – just as Labour are predicting and then they (Labour) will swoon about how it’s all soooooo unnecessary and that they took the difficult decisions to just print money and try and keep everybody happy even if it did mean the UK would be ban*rupt whereas Dave had just took the easy way out, alienating everybody with his tax-rises and his public service cuts.
Typical Tories taking the easy way out.
Early and hard. Just how jgm2 likes it.
There was a lot of talk about a hurricane hitting Trinidad in a previous thread because the Jonah was there. Bit late in the season now however I thought a quick check was required on the future names chosen for hurricanes in the following years as the curse will continue.
I wish to draw your attention to the year 2012 when you may remember the Mayans forecast the end of the world there is even a film now in the cinema about this. The next bit is completly correct and are the hurricane names selected for the season 2012. I reiterate these are the actual official chosen names.
2012
Alberto
Beryl
Chris
Debby
Ernesto
Florence
**GORDON**
Helene
Isaac
Joyce
Kirk
Leslie
Michael
Nadine
Oscar
Patty
Rafael
Sandy
Tony
Valerie
William
OH SHIT!!!!!
What time in 2012? GORDON would typically be early – mid hurricane season whereas the Mayan calendar has it all going tits up in December.
I don’t doubt though that hurrican Gordon will be a previously unseen category six storm which will have winds so strong that it will blow complete islands out of the Caribbean and onto the mainland of Mexico.
Is that a shameless ad for your own blowing skills, jgm’2′? Fucking gaylord.
I see there’s a Tony in the list as well, that would be the one predicted to be category 5 but then fizzled out into Winds of Mild Disruption.
Hurricane Nadine, eh? That should cheer up McBride and Draper no end.
Alberto eh?
who would of guessed :)
that would be one hell of a blow job lol
Shadow Public Services Productivity Advisory Board.
Guess what it’ll discover….we can do things more efficiently.
Alternatively, it could be a nice, cuddly name for Quango Elimination Unit; initial mission, to identify targets; post election to government, to hunt down the identified targets and terminate with extreme prejudice and large severence cheques.
Pity that Dave didn’t think to call it Quango Elimination Unit !!
It would have been a Vote Winner!!!
These political types need how to be taught how to woo the electorate!!
Idiots!!
Oh – but we did.
But dismissed the idea. You see, it seemed too contentious.
And I’m a Third Way man myself (though I must confess, I never have understood what that term means).
I must ask Tone one day – when he’s not too busy to see me.
It was the mystery of the missing gold – some $15-million worth – and the Mounties were on the case. They descended on Gordon Brown, seeking a culprit in the touchy tale of 17,500 ounces somehow vanishing from the Crown corporation that refines the stuff.
This week, the RCMP rendered its verdict: Gordon Brown. In fact, say third-party experts who also snooped around within 10 Downing Street’s fortified walls, the explanation is more banal, if no less bewildering: accounting errors and Gordon Brown- gold disappearing on the books and in the chlorination baths.
Some of it may even be recoverable.
Any chance of more booty bounce videos rather than this politics shite?
these are the kind of arses we want to see, not a bunch of self important arseholes
Top slags
Is an NGO a slimline QUANGO?
It sounds more cuddly than Quango: Quasi-Autonomous Non Government Organisations, this has now been shortened in the the media to NGO: Non Government Organisations, the truth of the matter however is that they are all simply, if you follow the reductions, GO’s….Government Organisations, bought and paid for.
I think quango sounds cuddlier, personally. Would happily do without the lot of ‘em, though.
45% of hoose memsahibs we asked said they prefer McBroon’s Quango Chutney – the perfect accompaniment to Maldensohn’s Chicken Dan’sSac.
Fuck it. This and Lord Pearson are enough. I’ll vote UKIP. These people are a bunch of tossers.
Is it worth drawing anyone’s attention to the operative word, “Shadow”? This isn’t a quango.
No.
Fuck quangos, repeal the hunting ban
Of course- lets get our priorities right eh?
Troops dying needlessly in a pointless war. Economy completely fucked. Sovereignty handed over to faceless Euro bastards.
But forget all of that- hunting is obviously far more important…
Fuck the hunting ban! We were promised a dead countryside with the hunting ban, yet the hunts continue and the countryside is not dead. There are far more pressing issues than hunting. BTW, I am no townie, I was brought up in the countryside and I know what difficulties the countryside and country people face. Hunting should be way down the list of priorities. The fact that a number of tories want to push this idiotic issue so high up the priority list shows how far out of touch they are from the people.
No it shows we want to REVERSE loads of shit Labour have done. It is a symbolic reversion to how things were when our country was better. It is not the most important thing, but showing us it can be done will raise morale.
“Fuck the hunting ban! We were promised a dead countryside with the hunting ban, yet the hunts continue and the countryside is not dead.”
That’s because, Mr N, we don’t have a hunting ban, merely an unworkable act that, even after 700 hours of parliamentary time, just looks like a hunting ban. The muppets that occupy the H of C couldn’t organise even something as simple as that. What hope for anything really important for pity’s sake??
Labour certainly did – was it 10 times as much Parliamentary time debating the hunting ban as debating the Iraq war??
Support the Great Repeal Bill http://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Great_Repeal_Bill – they’re collecting a list of shit law (most of it less than 12 years old, funnily enough!) to present to the Tories if they win the election
The tories are going to struggle to maintain the councils though.
The dole addicts are screaming up and down the country already being whipped up in hysteria by the ex labour councillors and drones still smarting and bitter from being tossed out on their ear.
‘Doing more with less’ – from the fifth season of ‘The Wire’; Chris Grayling has obviously lent Hammond his box set.
I used to a have a problem with a few people in cumbria, but we’ve since resolved our differences and its all water under the bridge now
Good Night
He does however have a small attention ‘SPAN’
Guido, why have you photoshopped a false wig onto the head of Mr Montgomery Burns?
and what exactly has he got to do with the story?
are you on acid?
Everyone should be acid.
or on it even
ere mate got any gear?
I think you have had quite enough already dave.
go easy on the superskunk FFS.
Crack actually. It’s quite moreish.
just promise you won’t give any to steve expat the tramp.
he’s in recovery.
Quangos or crimes: which ever party seizes power in this corrupt elected dictatorship we can be certain of both.
ENEMIES OF THE PEOPLE: http://eotp.wordpress.com/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tegMlgIgNHk
I wonder what that repressed lezza harriert harpman would say about those fine honeyz booty shaking.
I’ve had to stop licking the screen incase i get electriced shocked.
Surely once you get to 18 you’re allowed to legally vote
/
/
*
*
*
*
to embed the process of constant innovation in our public sector
INNOVATION MEANS LAWD SHUGGGA
KONSTANT INNOVATION MEANS LAUD SHUGGA 24×7*
EMBED THE PROCESS OF KONSTANT INNOVATION MEANS
LAUD BARON GHOOD MOURNING CURALAN SHUGGA
IN YOUR HEAD AND IN YOUR BLOODY DGJELLYVISHUN 24×7*x52 SUKKERS
KONSTANTLY INNOVATING
*
ASTA
*
*
*
*
KONSTANTLEA KHUMMING UP WITH SUMTHING GNU
SUKKER
KONSTANTLEA KHUMMING UP WITH SUMTHING GNU
*
ASTA
allhuha akhbar!!!!
C*nt.
you have summed yourself up in one word concrete head.
well done.
spastic.
likewise!
said the c’unt.
but I will give you half a point.
well done cripple, half points from top boy are as rare as hen’s teeth.
Not as rare as TaT’s teeth. They do say smoking crack causes tooth-loss.
SSKRAAAAWWKK!!! KRIPPLEKRIPPLEKRIPPLE! (ping) (flutter) E-EEERRRKK!!
bit rich coming from you innit jgm2 you crackhead whore?
if my memory serves me well, and it does, then I am quite positive that I gave you a good fucking hiding a couple of threads ago and in the process I succeeded in kicking every single one of you fucking teeth out of your gobby mouth. and after I kicked your teeth out I collected them and put them in a jar. and I keep that jar on my desk.
can you hear that noise jgm2? “rattle rattle rattle” that is me shaking the jar full of your teeth.
I suggest you attend a dentist to have them replaced before you come back here giving it the large one to top boy you cheeky fucking c’unt.
now fuck off you spastic.
note to self: we seem to be having a slag uprising. silly fucking slags.
auntie dale will pop up in a minute and start queening it up for fucks sake.
what the fuck is going on around here?
Thick as Thieves post @ 12.37.
Well put. I doff my hat to you Sir. Sincerely.
I am going to try and to pitch and get funding to make a film on the ‘Jonah Curse’
I’ll split the fee and profits with you 60/40 in your favour Fawkes(seeing you’ve done all the leg work :D) and give you editoral control for the rights to base a film on it.
We could go the action thriller route or documentary route, or even get a 2012 big action hollywood type movie out of it if we blag it to the right people.
Once he’s out of office, their will be plenty of labour and civil service people needing cash to pay the rent to interview on the subject as well.
Look you idiot “Jonah the Movie” is a fucking disaster movie. Get the genre right and Guido might be interested.
A mixture of “Naked Gun”, “Towering Inferno”, and “Airplane”
It has to be a comedy. (Or perhaps a farce).
Wrong again, Fawkes.
Thriller.
Second remake of “The Manchurian Candidate”.
think it would be a winner, scariest jaw dropping movie in town! Gorgon meets a blood orange in three D.
The Towering Imbecile
Goldbungler
Everyday the 13th
The Scottish Play
A Scottish Psycho
England’s End
Death in London
Local Idiot
The Madness of PM Gord
The Full Monetary Crisis
Carry on Bungling.
A Midsummer Night’s Nightmare.
The film version of the 2010 election, The Great Escape.
Gone With The Windowlickers
said the windowlicker.
Said the insecure, fretful, dullard
oh dear. you have really taken the hiding I gave you earlier very badly indeed.
that is good news.
butt plug. what a fucking stupid name.
You have never enjoyed the taste of Victory! And never will dear boy.
You have easily been usurped.
I always win. I am top boy.
you will learn.
the hard way.
Being a keen Europhile why would anyone be surprised that he is also a quango addict.
Politics and Government is about to show a quantum improvement as the Spanish introduce a new training course.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/nov/12/spain-sex-education
For wankers.
Specsavers will be pleased!!!!!!!!!
Well, they might have a sort of point. After changes to transport habits, there are now no bike sheds to learn things behind.
Perhaps our resident Labour troll might pick up a few tips, as well. Wonder if he could manage it in Spanish? A quick “Ole” at the finish, perhaps?
It seems the socialists are determined to make every country in the world equally as morally decrepid as all our socialist big city paradises in britain.Wouldnt hurt to buy a few shares in trackie bottom suppliers for all the banged-up teenage chavettos this policy will produce!
It also says much for the dumbing-down of education standards that this is required on the curriculum. In my day, there were things one was expected to learn for oneself. One hesitates to consider how the GCSE coursework will be marked…..
Des Browne has announced he is to stand down at the next election so he can spend more time with terrorists. Original …………Or is he refering to his family too?
Or just so he can spend more……
I like the idea that a man who was in charge of our armed forces now seeks to
use his experience in working towards multilateral disarmament and conflict resolution.
Poll: Tories advance on key Labour strongholds
The Conservatives have taken a commanding lead in the battleground seats that will decide the next general election, raising their hopes of inflicting a historic landslide defeat on Labour.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/6673177/Poll-Tories-advance-on-key-Labour-strongholds.html
Not just “Northern Marginals” – Labour will be wiped out in the West Midlans Marginals too where unemployment is the highest in the country and no sign of the much vaunted “green shots”.Voters are gonna punish Labour & Brown but it’s still not a particulat vote for “Dave & Co”
The next election will be similar to 1997, there will be huge tactical voting designed to force a change of government as well as anti-incumbent campaigns driven by expenses.
Dave is seen as good enough, and the best choice of those available. He may not have massive support yet but the biggest thing going for him is that he isn’t Gordon Brown!
Whoever wins is going to have a shitty time of it the next few years – spending will have to come down and taxes will have to go up – the government books are 200 billion in the red this year, that’s 3 pounds spent for every two recieved. This government ever borrowed in the good times!
What the hell has the gorgon been up to? Saw him on tv just now, Looks as if the top of his head has subsided taking his hair with it.
The old joke.
” He picked his nose so much, his head caved in”.
He’s just offered billions of our money to stop global warming in the third world as he said it was the duty of richer nations to elp poorer ones.
When is the useless Hoon going to wake up and realise that with a multi billon pound debt we’re not a fucking rich nation?
Don’t worry, he’ll just print some more monopoly money, use it to buy debt, and finance the donation by adding to the debt pile. No problem. For him. The rest of us will have to pay off the debt, but he’ll be long gone by then, so not his concern.
China, and India will be able to increase Military spending, Nuclear Power programmes, and Space Exploitation.
Exactly the opposite of us.
Perhaps we could export our Civil Service, and administrate them into oblivion.
….richer nations to elp poorer ones
Somehow I don’t think Brown and the rest of his Marxist buddies have the likes of Saudi Arabia or Iran in mind when they mean ‘rich countries’.
No, what they mean of course is hideously white western countries.
Lord Pearson sounds ever so posh.
Ukip have just committed political suicide by choosing this nutjob.
Fuck it,who’s left to vote for?
Ask Thick as thieves.
ah, a good question at last, thankyou Engineer. you may be a tired and old bastard but top boy humours you old man and thinks you’re alright even though you are a silly old fucking duffer.
if you want to have an MP who represents your interests as a constituent then there is a logical choice: vote for an independent local candidate.
the party system is like a boa constricter strangling the very neck of our democracy with the parties’ elective dictatorship agenda of passing power between each other.
we are dangerously close to experiencing the complete erosion of our liberties that has been carried out by political parties and the only way we will be able to reduce the power of these cartels and regain an independent and accountable parliament will be if we, the people, return as many local independent candidates to the house of commons as is possible by voting for independent candidates in large numbers and in an organised and strategic fashion during the coming general election.
that is pure political theory but when you consider the public’s contempt for the thieving self serving pigs who call themselves politicians anything is possible from here-on-in.
oh yeah, have you guys put your money on a hung parliament yet?
money in the bank.
THE PARTY MACHINE IS KILLING OUR DEMOCRACY
FUCK WITH THE MACHINE – VOTE INDEPENDENT!
JUST DO IT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Great! That is pure tatism.
Tat,
Fully respect your position and can see the benefits. However, should all or most constituencies vote independent, how will a government be formed? By voting, properly, independant or not, you are expressing support for the present system. And sending people to parliament. However if it is complete overhaul we need, is not a one-off mass spoiling of vote that cannot be ignored or put down to apathy not the best way?
Just my opinion and happy to be convinced by your vote independent theory. It is interesting.
SYVP
Nothing for it but direct action that involves lamp posts, piano wire, and a few bits of cardboard and string to hang round the necks of the fu ckers.
I suppose we could start writing up the placards now.
Or is it too soon?
Nah, – let’s get on with it.
I see the benefits of that too. Too many chav bastards out there though, with (illegal) guns, and I doubt they would stop at sorting out our politico class. It’s exactly what our gun laws are in place for. Not public safety, but to prevent bloody insurrection. Bastards.
Seems to me that the Conservatives are only offering a bit of change and are NOT offering anything that is new.
There’s no change left: we’ve spent it ALL
He’s right. I’m cleaned right out.
The thing to remember about civil servants is their time is worth nothing; they are quite literally paid to turn up and watch the clock – anything else is a bonus. Sacking one is almost impossible, thats why the dregs from the private sector know no matter how much they feck up theres always a council somewhere with a department of no consequence who will employ them. About the only silver lining in this miserable situation is for the taxpayer as most cs grunts are paid peanuts – and worth every penny.
here we go as regular as old santa himself. All we need now is BA to pitch in with a strike and were close to full house
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1231545/Christmas-post-faces-new-strike-secret-letter-reveals-new-union-threat.html?ITO=1490&referrer=yahoo
I aint gettin no plane
Here, just drink this milk..
another thief
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1231534/Labour-peer-Baron-Brooke-claimed-140-000-overnight-allowance-living-just-miles-House-Lords.html
Kin L
Kirsty Wark, flashing her nicks on Newsnight NOW
I have an erection coming up.
I can’t wait.
The UK Independence Party offered to disband if David Cameron agreed to hold a referendum on the ratified Lisbon treaty.
Lord Pearson of Rannoch, UKIP’s newly elected leader, says in an interview with The Times today that he proposed the deal after the party’s strong showing in the European elections.
He reveals that he approached Lord Strathclyde, the Tory leader in the Lords, six months ago and asked him to tell Mr Cameron that if he guaranteed a referendum and gave the Conservative Party a free vote then UKIP would disband and its members stand down. He received no answer. Several months later Mr Cameron announced that the Tories would not hold a referendum.
Lord Pearson adds: “A referendum on a ratified Lisbon Treaty would have become about in or out, which is why the political class wouldn’t do it.”
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/politics/article6935779.ece
I rejected it because it smelt of fail.
No self-respecting Tory can be against the pro-free trade EU.
UKIP are a pretty sad one issue bulging eyes outfit, their one asset has gone and now they do little but offer false hope to Gordon.
I initially had a bit of a panic as it undermines Daves position , and my understanding of it (intent of repealing bad legislation and re patriating powers) , when i then found out Lord rannoch was to put a big hitter against the B&P in dagenham , I thought what for ! both are better off out parties , certainly shakes things up a bit , and makes the election more interesting , with traditionally minority parties having some defining issues for people to vote on . keep election night i say .
CW thinks ruin should not be fast tracking any subsidies £800m when we are in this state , he just gives deniers more ammo that it has been a tax scam , and CW sticks by pollution problem is doing damage , although given timing of Dubai world cough and sources quoting we have somthing of £40bn in debts in RBS and HSBC suggest Darling will be making statement on monday , anyone now wondering why we were never allowed to see what these toxic loans were now !!! smells of ruin doesnt it . on a slight positive note the old QE2 is back up for sale . dont know yet what American banks are in the problem . Ruin and darling could be in a lot of trouble over this hiding of debts from scruitiny , I am pondering if its an impeachment matter if it isnt treason , as non scrutiny may have casued more damage than was necessary . interesting some commentators are thinking we could now see a double dip , hard to imagine how growth figure wont be revised with dubai world in trouble . Just hope osbournes got the minerals and that his accuracy has improved labour really have done it again. I keep wondering if ruin will just push it so far that we might end up with dannatt trying on wellingtons old uniform for real .
Tin foil hats for economists , who last weak predicted end of recession and retrun to growth .
Cw had a brief laugh form one poster who described Mr speaker as a Crypto marxist no longer needed , CW thought it was a pithy reply .
Times reporting UKIP does not have any mps ?? what about bob spink !
CW is rather annoyed that 1991 emmisons base line has quietly slipped out copenhagen and we now have 2005 levels , and CRU emails are a bit of distraction compared to this .
Liam Byrne is not at the Cabinet Office. He’s Chief Secretary to the Treasury.
Him and his ill-fitting head skin…
something intresting
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2009/nov/27/pcc-patricia-hewitt-the-sun
Just about every action her government did was an assault on our privacy.
if youve nothing to hide youve nothing to fear
IRONY!
That’s the face of a passive-agressive bitch if ever.
Back in your cage NOW!
This is just a rumour, Brown has announced that when he wins the General Election in the New Year, he is going to put his face on the money, as he says he is the man printing the money, his face should now be on it, the money belongs to him, and he shall spend it as he wishes.
Also the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square is being prepared and Brown has given a few sittings to a prominent British sculptor in rediness for his victory. He would really like to take down Nelson, but the establishment felt that was probably a bit OTT, and they persuaded Brown that people would get a better look at him nearer ground level. There will also be important buildings named after him and possibly even one of those new “Eco towns” will be named Brownsville. Also in the pipeline will be street parties to celebrate Brown’s great victory in his battle with his opponent Cameron. Please keep in mind that these are just rumours at this stage, as we would not want any riots on the streets at this stage now would we.
AAaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
You SEE! it’s funny coz it’s like exagerrated like wot it is
Brown is like more important than wot he fink he iz an he gonno be a lozer like
satyr at its bestest!
http://www.eleysporkpies.co.uk/
Forget Two Jags – now its Three Pies Prescott.
Famously dubbed Two Jags because of his use of ministerial cars – created a new nickname for himself yesterday as he parted with his pennies to but three pork pies from Eley’s of Ironbridge.
John Prescott tucked into the pies after descending on Shropshire for the official reopening of Museum of the Gorge after flood damage.
Mr Prescott’s whistlestop tour of the town began at the world famous Iron Bridge as he viewed the spring scene the swollen River Severn.
After taking in the sights he strolled down the Wharfage chatting to journalists and local dignitaries along the way.
He was obviously taken by the Shropshire landmark as he stopped in Darlingtons golf shop and bought a black and white unframed print of the bridge for £7.95.
He then dispatched an aide to grab three of Eley’s pork pies for a snack after a delayed schedule forced him to ditch a more formal lunch.
Shop manager Stephen Ludlow, of the Tointine Hill delicatessen, said Mr. Prescott was bound to enjoy his snack.
When asked what Mr. Prescott would think of the upper crust snack he replied “I should think he looks like the type of an that would enjoy a pie.”
I understood he was too middle class to enjoy pies, particularly from flooded areas.
Vote UKIP
Tories: get ready for socialists in blue ties!
Pies, Pies and more damn Pies!!!
I wish to join in telling gags please
The other day I was doing my knitting whilst doing 80mph on the motorway when a Police car pulled alongside me, the Policeman wound down his window and shouted, “Pullover.”
To which I replied, “No a pair of socks!”
Or alternatively of course “I AM Harriett Harman and you KNOW where to find me !”
The Tories have always controlled my borough, in Redbridge. However they have made no attempt, unlike other Tory boroughs like Hammersmith and Fulham, to reduce our local council tax. I recently wrote to the Tory leader asking him to ensure that our tax next year should be reduced. I said that the Tories are no longer the party for instinctively cutting taxes. I haven’t even had the courtesy of an acknowledgement let alone a reply.
Add to this the recent revelation that Cameron could have offered a referendum on Lisbon with the support of UKIP, but he turned the offer down. The more I see Cameron, the more I see how he is operating exactly as Blair did when he first got elected.
Blue Labour is not for me. I don’t intend to go from the frying pan into the fire. So it’s UKIP for me. Many other friends, family and residents feel the same. Dave is not trusted.
Gordon Brown was walking in a cemetery and saw Tony Blair hiding behind Harold Wilson’s grave stone – Brown said “morning.”
Tony replied, “No, just having a shit.”
Police have finally admitted they got it wrong in the shooting of Jean Charles de Menez.
It was his naughty brother Dennis they were after.
Four years late with that one mate
Totally pissed off at UKIPs attempted “merger” with the Cameroons (lost my vote). Seems another party is acting just as a pressure group. F**k them and the Tories. It seems we’ll either have to find another alternative, or not vote at all.
Politicians will tell you that if you don’t vote THEN don’t complain about what we do
Apropos UKIP – they are a distraction anyway.The choice is pretty clear – Vote Labour and you’ll get 5 more years of Brown(Miliband/Balls/Harman) or Vote for “Change” and get “Dave” and the Notting Hill Bullingdon Eton Old Boys Association(Hague allowed in as ” Token Oik”) which will be the same policies essentially but better presented and the Cabinet will be better dressed also.
“,,,,,,,,,,,It seems we’ll either have to find another alternative, or not vote at all……” Mmm Hang On ………Second thoughts you may have a point????????????????
Dave or Gordon to be elected PM in the next six months – your choice, don’t complain if you don’t vote.
Ukip was my anti-Dave vote too, now Im seeking either an independent, or shall drink myself to oblivion on GE day….
One way or another – we have to aim for a hung parliament.
Vote for me! Use a Gordon Brown crayon to do it!
Seriously, vote for no-one but at least turn up and ruin your ballot. You can even draw a penis with hair and spurt on your paper like what you did at school. Or just a simple fuck off. It’s really up to you.
Not turning up at all is blamed on apathy. But when the spoilt votes outnumber actual votes, then the revolution begins. Oh yes.
SPOIL YOUR VOTE.
Good point!
~F U C K S T E R S ~
Seems UKIP are just waiting for the “right” time to re-join the Cons.
Tories should be rendered down, and their fat sold as skin cream to American freaks (there’s big money in it).
Anyone want to trade?
possibly merge parties?
Anyone?
Can anyone here me..?
Instead of ‘yet another quango’ why don’t you sub contract the process to the SNP who have managed to save £830 million of Scotland’s pocket money by not spending it on things we don’t need, like lots of Labour chummies lead quangos, paper clips and special advisers to the departmental cleaner.
Maybe we could use the same idea so Wainscoting or his equally disastrous replacement Tory clone don’t go and buy planes, ships, armoured personnel carriers, rifles and other bits and pieces that don’t work and cause more deaths amongst serving personnel than the Taleban. Bet we could save a shed load of defence cash by not listening to BAE systems buy British ’special advisers’.
Nah…… that would mean someone amongst the troughing politico’s on either side had a couple of brain cells to rub together……..
As I have previously posted – the 17 new so called quangos that Labour claim the tories have announced are no such thing.
But you studiously ignore the point
Rather you should be concerned with Browns early exit policy from Helmand, thus ensuring all our soldiers died for nothing.
Good Morning
I went to the doctors today and he gave me a jab.
So i headbutted him in the face.
Everyone in Europe is shopping at http://www.TheShoppersList.net don’t be left out.