Friday Caption Contest (Curried Expenses Edition)
Bercow Loses his Rag in Chamber – Paul Waugh
Cameron Casts Himself as Obama – Political Scrapbook
Brussels Attacks Darling Deficit Plan – FT
Tim Montgomerie Interview – New Statesman
Mann denies Being W****r – Mannisms
Comrade Brown, as Deluded as the East German Politburo – Telegraph
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Eric Pickles told this morning’s press conference…
“Comrades, welcome to Transport House…”
-Gilts (Mar)
As of 26 Feb 2010
Flat – No Positions
As of 23 Feb 2010 +30.81%
-Gilts (Mar)
As of 19 Feb 2010 +20.13%
Cherry how do you spell ‘Hypocrite’
PS O/T …. my wife’s just called to say all the newspapers have sold out in Bourne…. LAMAO.
“transparency ? look at how transparent my words are”
Financial misconduct = Conservatives
warmongering and troughing unashamedly= Labour
Inquisition = nonce
“Financial misconduct = Conservatives”?
Labour = majority of MP’s (for now) = most snouts in the trough.
“Will my cock look big in this”?
Financial misconduct = Curry. He ought to be prosecuted alongside the recent 6 Liebore politicians. There are a lot more to go to jail yet.
Look how hollow my words are!
Actually words and actions!!
Master Baiter = Loss of sight (See G Brown PM)
Delia Smith has been awarded a CBE by the Prince of Wales, describing it as “a tribute to all home chefs”.
She loves a pint (of gin)
The one time it would be funny and The Inquisition is nowhere to be seen!
Financial misconduct = Conservatives
Hahahahahaha
Front and centre.
Hahahaha
Hahahahahaha
The reason why Mercenary Baiter has been showing up late on here this week is that he has been repeatedly summoned to explain his recent abysmal performance.
Here are the “Total Recall” minutes of the Monday morning session:
Mercenary ‘Richter’ Baiter: You wanted to see me sir?
Gordon ‘Cohaagen’ Brown: What the fuck’s going on, Baiter?
MB: Well, I…er…I know last week wasn’t very good, sir, what with our zero % growth in the opinion polls and-
GB: Baiter, do you know why I’m such a happy person?
MB: No, sir.
GB: Because I’ve got the greatest job in the solar system. As long as the medication keeps flowing, I can do anything I want. Anything! In fact, the only thing I ever worry about is that, one day, if the Tories win, it all might end. AND YOU’RE FUCKING MAKING IT HAPPEN! First, you screw up on nailing Cameron over Europe and you let him get away. Then you fuck up the anti-Sun campaign – where’s the ‘poor Gordon’ sympathy swing, dickhead?
MB: But…I thought the mass postings on the Daily Mail boards would-
GB: Who told you to think? I don’t give you enough information to think! You do what you’re told, that’s what you do. And look at me, when I’m
talking to you, shithead.
MB: I am, sir.
GB: Don’t be funny with me. You’re nothing. You’re nobody. Now, I want results this week, you useless piece of shit, or I’ll erase your fucking braincell.
MB: But..er..no-one seems to take any notice of what I post on Guido Fawkes…
GB: Then fucking post somewhere else, where they are more gullible, you moron. Out of my way, wankstain.
You are Lord Gnome and you’ve been drinking and I claim my five pounds.
You are the weakest link… goodbye
Thought it was quite accurate actually. Are you one of the pixies who live in my walls?
I’m speechless!
lol
New Labour’s laws have finally managed to achieve the holy grail of the left’s in censoring free speech and democracy in the UK.
shamed mp steals oversize dog-collar in failed claim for sanctuary……..
I’m a Tory we always get away with things.
final warning. do not steal my name.
if you are too dim to think up a pseudonym then you are too dim to contribute.
goodbye.
fuck off you gutless streak of horsepiss.
second generation of anything is better.
now fuck off and die in your rat infested, piss stained hovel.
goodbye.
you were warned.
you have displayed disprespect to top boy you fucking slag.
get down on your knees you ungrateful bitch and beg forgiveness from your master.
you have left me with no choice you whore; licence revocation is the only option.
top boy has spoken: no appeals will be heard.
:yawn:
See, it is easy to be polite…! :)
please refer to my previous post.
thankyou.
and you are yawning, you seem to be tired, perhaps, as you are a boring old fart, you should have an afternoon nap?
hopefully the stupid old duffer has alzheimer’s and will forget he ever came here.
good one.
listen to the retards flap their handbags at each other
pair of fucking drama queens
shut up you fucking cripple.
Yeah, Julie Kirkbride has got away with it (or so she thinks!)
Dave Cameron troughed more than me.
But not as much as Julie Kirkbride.
Vindaloo or Tory Poo?
Even Tories have sexual urges. My love nest was free.
Wonder when they are going to find out about the MEP and the young woman with a sick son who has been coming to him for help recently?
Not too far away from Mr Curry’s neck of the woods, I believe. Well, it’s always the quiet ones isn’t it….
“Pride comes before a Phal”
What me to say something?
Well, it’ll cost ya…
Can someone quickly suggest a defence for me?
It was all within the rules and approved by the fees office.
It started in America
It was the right thing to do.
Right and proper-opportunies for all the challenges.
Julie Kirkbride started in Notting Hill, before it became fashionable.
I’m a troughing MP get me out of here.
I`m a troughing MP, keep me here.
Yes my dear, of course, whatever you say Julie.
Well Dave, you might keep her there but you might not get there yourself as a result. Ignore the spin and look at the real Kirkbride!
Leave Dave alone, he`s doing his best for me.
Dave`s best will not protect you, you nasty bitch.
Lets just all calm down on this one, Kirkbride is bad but she is not the only one.
Maybe, but Kirkbride is the worst by a very long way.
Kirkbride is the worst by a very wide margin. It is incredible that she is getting away with it. Cameron must be off his rocker or something to allow this woman to continue. Or is there something connected with Andrew MacKay that we don`t know anything about?
Julie Kirkbride says this is all disgusting, she gives good service and its all within the rules/
Bollocks! My halo’s got a dent in it
Oh bugger!!
I’ve been a very naughty boy. I’d better find a headmistress to discipline me…..again.
“I’ve got your fucking money”
No Cabinet Fees Office ? No comment….
When I saw that the carpet in the cottage was ’shag pile’ I just got carried away
Disgusting. Ask Mandy if you want to know about the health risk.
“it was within the rules”
This space for rent
A curry to take away,please.
I’m a “Babe Magnet” and I know it!
Look what I bought with your cash! Value for money, or what??
I cannot explain what I spent £28k on because ‘er indoors won’t let me in the fuckin’ house.
However, I am sure it was well spent and I will reap the rewards one day.
Is he Married to Edwina?
I found Gordon’s bedpan
This is how big Cherry Edwards’ twat is.
It looks like he’s holding two signs. One for what he says, the other for what he means.
I will now hold up my Tippex redacted expenses for all to see..
“I am content with my arrangements”
Try redtube – its free (no fee no claim).
Open now – my second Curry House!
Good job I have shares in a limestone quarry.
“I fell in to a burnin’ring of fire…
…a ring of fire….”
The object I hold before ladies and gentlemen was once cast iron.
Now it as worthless as David Cameron’s guarantees
As was Gordon Brown’s manifesto commitments to a referendum
New Labour = Lies, Damn Lies and Tractor Statistics
Its certainly been a record year for debt.
Get back to conservativehome where you belong.
Your posts will be very welcome
get back to labourbloggers4war where you belong.
your posts are not welcome here.
you spastic.
I’m a troll, foldy woll. We fear Cameron otherwise we wouldn’t post here now.
Have you heard that Gordon sleeps alone and every so often, threatens his mrs with the turkey baster?
Master Baiter, Turkey Baster
Teeheehee, The Inquisition etc. Sad and lonely men are we.
The objective simply is to bait dimwitted right wing dinosaurs, isn’t it?
I sincerely hope you find something a bit more enriching in life MB.
Is Curry holding up a photo of the vault containing the Nation’s Gold Reserves after I sold tonnes at the bottom ?
Has Gordon Brown paid back the £thousands he fiddled to give to his brother for “cleaning services” on an empty flat?
Curry by name, curry favour by nature…
I have no doubt that the Parliamentary Standards Committee, wielding the sword of truth and trusty shield of fair play will find me innocent
I am humbled to accept this award from conservativehome for blogger of the year 2009…………..Is the cheque in the post Tim????
Postman Pat, Postman Pat
Postman Pat and his black and white cat
Rumpy pumpy pumpy
Rompuy pompuy pompuy
Pat thinks he’s a jolly lucky man
AAAH-Rumpy pumpy pumpy
Rompuy pompuy pompuy
(fades)
Is he saying, “If you want to wipe your arse on Gordon Brown’s face, then buy a Gordon Brown bog roll”?
http://www.presentsformen.co.uk/product-PFM-Politician-Loo-Rolls-8795/
Excellent – cheap at twice the price. Satisfaction guaranteed!
Just the job, can also double up as a gun target!
Guido is a Hoon
“I’ve Got 2 Birds and Can’t Get A Word In Edgeways”
P.S. Mocked up in glorious technicolour on my blog for my own delight – and probably not yours…….
‘The balloon’s gone up. But there’s nothing in… er… to it (trust me)’
Redacted!
Refuted!
“An open world where fair trade effective aid and good governance work together to set people free.”
http://www.flickr.com/photos/yourvoiceagainstpoverty/502000701/sizes/l/
Good Governance?!
Excuse me while I howl with laughter!
And what galaxy might that be on then?
Oi….that’s mine.
Whats the point of me?
I will be standing down at the next election to spend more time with my family and pursue other projects
…..and shagging any passing secretaries in my family home.
Curry gets some practise in for his new delivery job
ah, the insanity defense. very good. he thinks if he convinces mental health professionals that he believes the paper plate he is holding is his thieving criminal fraudster alter ego who stole the public funds then they might be tricked into thinking that curry is insane, which he probably is anyway, and have him sectioned. his calculation being that if he is sectioned he will not have to face criminal charges. very sneaky. the mad ones are sneaky as fuck
meanwhile, in the real world:
BANG! BANG! YOU’RE DEAD CURRY.
you thieving fucking c’unt, you should be serving jail time motherfucker.
have we got curry’s DNA yet?
what a fucking fraudster.
note to curry: we, the taxpayer, demand the return of every single penny you have stolen from us.
or we will have your neck. should we, ofcourse, be given the authorisation to hang you from a court of law.
a peoples’ court of law.
I think we could probably even convene the court and hold its proceedings here, remotely and in real time. virtual justice innit.
the courts have let us down and have been cowed by the establishment so we will have to take justice into our own hands.
we only need twelve good men and woman to agree to be jurors and we can then convene the court and consider the charges against you and decide the sentence you should receive for stealing from the public purse.
who wants to volunteer to make up the jury for the case of
curry V The People?
Stick it to ‘im, TaT.
Vindaloo
Vindaloo
Vindaloo Vindaloo
Na na …
“…given the authorisation to hang you from a court of law.”
What’s wrong with a standard lamppost?
look you c’unt I am writing this shit straight off the cuff, no notes, nuffink; and in one hit.
give me a fucking break, eh?
tat, long and tedious.
Cast iron lamp posts are the most reliable, isn’t it?
Spoofa loofa. Name check!
You are not worth a drop from Gordon’s turkey baster you know.
Turkey baster, Master Baiter.
Hahahaha
Cwassic limp or what, spoofa with a loofa, scrub a dubdub, isn’t it?
Hahahaha
you would be at the front of the queue of those to be hanged for crimes of High Treason, masterbaiter.
and I would, with a court’s authorisation, happily loop the rope around your neck and I would whistle cheerfully as I did so.
and then all that would be left to do would be the release of the lever. that is the easy bit, it’s a piece of piss.
but before I pulled the lever I would first make sure that the sack covering your head is secure and will not come off during the drop.
and I would use that opportunity to quickly lift the sack and to stare into your eyes; just to see if there is any regret or guilt for the wasted decade of war and occupation and torture your party executed, or to see if you have any shame that your party increased the tax liability of the poor and drove good hardworking communities into living off benefits like thatcher did to the miners but on a national scale, I just want to see if there are any signs of admission of failure flickering in your pupils or pumping through your temples, I just want to see for myself if you are experiencing a moment of clarity or to see if you are remain in an ignorant state of bliss over the total fuck up gordon brown has made of handling the country’s finances and the total failure he has made of being prime minister.
but do you know what I saw when I looked into MB’s eyes?
what I saw was the cold, dark, unblinking, inhuman, uncommunicative eyes of a snake.
david icke was right, reptiles are running the world.
oh, and we have tried very hard to stop people bringing mobile phones into the stadium to watch the hangings but I think a few phones and cameras might have been smuggled in.
whoops!
shit happens!
Now who’s copying me? Can’t think of your own name for Chrissake!
You can’t say “we the taxpayer”. We are the taxpayer and it is we who demand repayment, not you
I do not accept your premise.
I’m getting worries and now my husband gives a toss
Hi, I’m David. Let me talk you through the iSpin and show you how Apple’s engineers have come up with the coolest device yet produced for anyone dedicated to public service.
Class!
She wouldn’t Swallow so she blew me this spunk bubble instead.
“I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”
Trebor mints are a little bit stronger,
stick em up your arse and they last a bit longer.
Specially nice for Mark it’s true
Nothing better than minty poo.
A Leicester MP knows what you mean
It’s sticky and oily like Vazaline
look at my moral compass.
O what a good boy am I, I’ve licked ALL the gravy from the public plate. Oink.
“This insignificant circle represents my expenses, whereas this much much bigger one is the cost of treatment for someone with otherwise fatal liver cancer.”
Giant mint fails to remove stench of a Bad Curry.
so i said fuck me and she did
http://newslion.blogspot.com/
that is not such a big surprise newslion, after all you did pay her £50 in advance.
and an extra thirty quid to do the really dirty stuff you like.
you dirty old bastard that poor fucking bitch earned every fucking penny.
You wouldn’t believe it, we were playing monopoly all night long, she fell asleep several times!!!! How rude
Monopoly = moan-oh-Polly?
On silly, but i was very upset when she got the purple pair
‘You’re an independent investigator looking into MPs expenses? Splendid fellow, only too pleased to help. That will be £13,000, please. Shall we say, er, cash, perhaps?’
Thank you for this award. How can I begin, well, it all started in America, it was the right & proper thing to do. This is a global troughing award and can say proudly, we are top of the troughs, special thanks to the fees office, simply put, i could never have done it without you.
I would like to thank my wife for her understanding and for the support she has given me and my Yorkshire lover, durng our hours of need, locked away together in a cold dark cottage, it s not easy you know, havng to do this job, two homes, two jack & dannie’s to service. Finally, I would like to thank all the little people who voted for me, I would like to tell them everytime I had anal sex, I was thinking of you & the country.
I’m off now to collect my pension and my limo, what a wonderful country, so giving, I only hope the south of france will be as kind to me.
Makes you feel proud, what have you done to make you feel proud today.
Speech bubble………more like spunk bubble !!!
“It takes a thief to catch a thief”
And we dipped this plate in new whitewash..
Is that the Hutton shade?
“I am not obliged to say anything . . . . . . “
And in conclusion let me say just this
If you prefer tits, miss the first aisle in the supermarket so your going against the flow. Arse men should follow the usual route.
Quis custodiet ipsos porchi?
Radix omnium malorum est cupiditas.
porcos
Pecunia non olet.
Mucho dosho, u schmucko!
I am the second cheapest MP in Yorkshire.
I am the biggest thief in Yorkshire.
As well as being the biggest eurofanatic jerk in the UK.
Come on Guido, get on the case. This is going to be massive:
http://www.examiner.com/x-28973-Essex-County-Conservative-Examiner%7Ey2009m11d19-Hadley-CRU-hacked-with-release-of-hundreds-of-docs-and-emails
No its not, cos its bollocks! (though i suppose that wouldn’t stop Guido – see “Death Panels post!)
You fucking hate the truth getting out dontcha Brixjac.
Well let’s just look at these documents. They claim to come from the Hadley CRU at the University of East Anglia.
One problem with this. This organisation doesn’t exist. The University of East Anglia has the CRU (climate research unit) but the Hadley Centre for Climate Prediction and Research is all the way down in Exeter.
If this basic information is not right then how are we to believe anything else that this joker has put forward?
Hmmm.
Me thinks he knows way too much – obviously a govt stool pigeon – Brown wants us to pay climate change taxes to fund more immigrants in the coming decade.
Director Phil Jones admits his dept has been hacked.
Lets see what comes out the wash.
Phil Jones, the Director Hadley CRU told Investigate magazine “that his organization has been hacked, and the data flying all over the internet appears to be genuine.”
http://briefingroom.typepad.com/the_briefing_room/2009/11/hadleycru-says-leaked-data-is-real.html
The inconvenient truth for the Copenhagen summit is that a senior insider at Hadley CRU appears to have revealed that government climatologists are not telling the truth for political reasons.
Global warming appears to have stalled. Climatologists at the Leibniz Institute of Marine Sciences in Kiel are puzzled as to why average global temperatures have stopped rising over the last 10 years.
see http://wattsupwiththat.com/2009/11/20/speigel-online-stagnating-temperatures-a-puzzle/#more-12947
The planet’s temperature curve rose sharply for almost 30 years, as global temperatures increased by an average of 0.7 degrees Celsius (1.25 degrees Fahrenheit) from the 1970s to the late 1990s.
“At present, however, the warming is taking a break,” confirms meteorologist Mojib Latif of the Leibniz Institute of Marine Sciences in the northern German city of Kiel. Latif, one of Germany’s best-known climatologists, says that the temperature curve has reached a plateau. “There can be no argument about that,” he says. “We have to face that fact.”
Someone in Hadley CRU knows this and leaked the files to ensure politicians in Copenhagen don’t use false science to carbon tax us up the wazoo. The UK Parliamentary “Environmental Audit Committee” have already suggested “personal carbon rations” that are taken off your card whenever you buy energy or travel services.
“One problem with this. This organisation doesn’t exist.”
Bollocks, It’s a conflation of the UEA CRU and the Hadley centre. Typical of the scam : two “independent” organisations – one Governmental – are actually inter-dependent.
Don’t believe it ? Explain this :
Under
http://www.cru.uea.ac.uk/cru/data/temperature/
you’ll see “the datasets have been developed in conjunction with Hadley Centre of the UK Met Office”
Nah, mate. You’ve got it wrong. ‘Essex Country Conservatives … hacked …’
This is an old story about Eric Pickles going on the rampage with an axe after he got knocked back by a piece of posh totty at the local Conservative Future dance. It wrapped last week’s fish and chips. Time to move on.
Old Holborn, Stepney and SO17
Have you noticed how the Nu Labour blog trolls (like Brixjac and Andy Carpark) quickly tried to shut down this climate change thread and discredit any line counter-productive to delivering carbon taxation.
I think they are scared.
I wonder if the dead trees MSM will pick this one up?
BTW i am not a newlabour troll of anything of the sort. I don’t even vote Labour!
I didn’t try to shut down the thread. Why would i need to? The Dead Tree Press won’t pick up this “story”. All the major political parties (and a majority of teh minor ones) believe in climate change (as do teh vats majority of scientists – but that’s beside the point). Climate change legislation is coming and a couple of comments on some blogs ain’t going to change that. So you might as well lap it up.
Brixjac is a cocksucker
Wot Brixjac said. It’s Friday ‘arvo and I was ‘avin’ a larf. You paranoid buffoon.
methinks you protest too much
definately a NuLiebore climate apologist, carbon taxin’ blog troll
I make a joke about Eric Pickles. Therefore I’m a climate change apologist and a NuLabour shill to boot. Brilliant.
Don’t presume to tell me my views on anything, you tosspot. The f’ucking planet and all the little children can fry for all I care. As can you, you po-faced twat. I am now off down the pub. Good night.
“.. and this is how much say Brown, Camoron and Clegg think you little people should have in selecting your new foreign Emperor.”
BREAKING NEWS
“In early August 2009 Prime Minister Gordon Brown decided to treat his family to a holiday in the Lake District and stayed in the Cockermouth area.”
Oh bugger! Someone already posted the news :(
Jesus H Christ – Jonah’s curse is gathering power. First it was sports teams and places of work, now his curse has taken up with the Forces of Nature. God help us all if he takes to his soap box during the GE – no town will be safe!
More important things on my mind.
Can we pray that Sarah Brown suffers from a rare sleep disorder that will enable her to do away with Gordon Brown in her sleep,even is they do actually sleep in different rooms?
Her defence could be a completely understandable one;
“I thought there was a fraudulent,lying,bullying,country-ruining thug in the house and so I defended myself with a double barreled shotgun given to me for just such an occasion by Peter Mandelson”.
Verdict:
Not guilty of murder and awarded a life pension for services rendered to the nation.
There isn’t a jury in the land that would convict her.
Well, that’s put the tin hat on it!
Shooting had begun for “Viz – the Movie”.
and the movie, ‘Vaz, the cushions,the leather armchairs, the accompanying foot stool, the dining table, the carpets, the lamp and lampshade, all on expenses’ is being mooted I understand.
Disgraced MP recycles Queen’s Speech as resignation statement
“….so you see, David, a blog comment is like that but on a com-put-er screen.”
OK it’s time for some more of my gags
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says; “Fuck off, you won’t bring it back.”
Sickipedia.
Indeed ,we in the Conservative Party have no original ideas or gags and everything is hijacked .
Oi ! Curry !! Put my begging bowl down. I’m gonna need that when the IMF come to the Country and declares that I’ve bankrupted us all.
Goebbels for Gordon
That’s me and my various other nom de plumes!
Isn’t it, though?
Spoofa with a loofa, guess what?
It’s not!
Hahahaha
Curry in a hurry
Twat in a hat.
hahahahahhahaha
ha
isn’t it
?
I’m not actually a Conservative. Half their stuff is ripped off. Just pointing out that your joke is too.
As I said in the April edition of the Local Government Chronicle
“Self-regulation is not necessarily complaisant and soggy – I can testify to the forensic work of the Parliamentary Commissioner and the Standards and Privileges Committee”.
Unfortunately, The Telegraph forensics keep coming up with the inconvenient truth instead of the government sanctioned truth
see http://www.lgcplus.com/mps-expenses-rile-the-public/2020313.article
“….and I am reliably informed that Gordon Brown has claimed for a pair of binoculars.”
What he should be saying, and what all the party leaders should pressure him to say;
“I realise now that any decisions I have participated in as Chairman of the Committee are flawed because my personal position led me to be unduly lenient in case my own circumstances came to light.
I therefore ask the house to urgently review all the decisions made by the committee since the expense claims entered the public domain”.
“I’m keeping Mum.
And claiming for her on expenses.”
one curried cherry edwards with rice please, and make it nice and hot, and a nan bread
How to curry favours.
I’m no fan of Curry…………….I prefer sweet and sour.
“Cameron will never sack me, his mortgage claims for a Cotswalds mansion make my yorkshire cottage scam look like petty cash.”
We don’t do that sort of thing in the Labour party
“Currie comes out stinking of shit”
OT.
How come Gordon is swanning about in Nottingham, surely he can’t resist posing for photos with the rescue services in Cockermouth?
I live in Nottingham. I’m hoping he goes wandering around in the Meadows. Or St. Anne’s. Or Clifton.
Bang, bang, they shot me down…
The Head Hoon plus cabinet were all over Nottingham like a rash today. I was in the city centre coincidentally on my day job but the place was awash with Police and I mean awash, hordes of them plus more 999 vehicles than you thought existed.
Some of them managed to visit a couple of dodgy areas (Bulwell, Aspley) but survived, McDoom included. The local press coverage is a hoot and the online comments page even more so:
Nottingham Evening Post.
Best moment (so far) was Balls visting his old (public) school and having to respond to one child’s description of the McDoom government as a “sinking ship”. Arf!
They spent the afternoon at the Nottingham Albert Hall for a “cabinet meeting”, surrounded by Police. No way in, especially if you appeared slightly violent (couldn’t help it).
All gone now and the City is awaiting its fate. I will report as it happens but obviously the starting point will be Saturday when both County and Forest (who have had great runs recently) are likely to be beaten. Watch this space.
The local rag got a snap of the curse being laid; maybe a first?
“Ye Are Cursed!”
[Scroll to picture 27]
“This is a full list of the Bills that Gordon Brown is going to get passed into law during this Parliament”
Correct.
The Prime Minister thanked champions of blogging as research suggested the sector is pulling through the recession more strongly than other businesses.
Representatives of blogging projects were invited to Number 10 as winners of the Political Blogging Awards were announced.
Gordon Brown told Guido Fawkes: “I want to use two words that we don’t use very often and they are thank you.”
He went on: “Guido Fawkes deserves an award for everything he hasdone and will continue to do, I know, in service of political blogging”
And here we have the amount given to charity after W0gan in Greed has taken his fee.
Am I the first to lament the fact that the recent France v Ireland game was held after the Irish Referendum – perhaps rather than replaying the game they could replay the Referendum and we could see how the Irish respond to European unity know – just call it extra time after the home and away legs leave it a score draw.
should of course be “now”
It’s just a game, nothing to get worked up over.
In the meantime, more of the evil of Brown is unveiled, as the UK borrows 3bn a week. This country is totally stuffed and it is Brown’s doing. Why is the one-eyed, evil, incompetent twit still PM?
Brown was the worst Chancellor ever and as for being a self appointed, unelected PM – he is just a vile piece of corrupting, green slime, destroying what was once England. Yuk! Brown:
http://www.badmovies.org/movies/greenslime/
Borrowing:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/6608660/Government-deficit-now-increasing-at-3bn-a-week.html
For the sake of England, get rid of Brown now!!!
Here is a picture of McDoom in Nottingham today (just before going in for make up):
“Where do you want me?”
Not voting NuLiebore this time then CB?
“My goose is cooked”
Remember chaps only 10% of the profit goes back to buy ordanance to blow our lads to smithereeens!
Ooohh it’s wet up here boys.
There are others, dig deeper its all there!
Match up the hotel receipts of two Tory MP’s!
It’s shagtastic!
Q What’s the difference between a cormorant and a shag?
A It’s not often you get a good coromorant.
- Sir Terence Wogan
thick as thieves,
just read your efforts at being clever and have decided that you really are a useless little arse wipe the same as all of your persuasion. I look foreward to hearing from you after the election, ttfn!!!!
dear fans,
fan1)anymouse
fan2)masterbaiter
fan3)tikatieves
dear dear fans, are your subs up to date you slags?
good.
it never ceases to amaze the great thick as thieves that slags like you spend so much of your lives commenting on posts which you all hold such a low opinion of.
you are rather like film reviewers going on and on about a bad film.
change the record c’unts.
raise your game or fuck off.
you dig?
motherfuckers.
Only trying to help, don’t be so touchy, isn’t it?
By the way, much better, stick to keeping it short if not sweet.
Hahahaha
Like Brown’s life,hopefully.
to be sure
Here’s the receipt
Sleaze Watchdog Chief releases redacted expenses CD
Whoops me halo slipped
Dave said that with a face like this I should always shag in the dark and take ‘em from behind.
I always take them from behind.
Curry leaves them in a stew
Thet didn’t quite go according to plan…
I gratefully accept this award for troughing in the first degree. I am proud to win the ‘Speechless” award for pure chutzpah for having headed up the Parliamentry Standards commission whilst having my snout in the trough.
The Glorious and Beloved Leader, reprising His Astonishing Feats during the floods soon after He Became Leader, is heading to the current floods so that He may personally direct operations and meet the masses of sheeple who crave his presence.
He will afterwards make a 14 hour speech outlining His achievements and His next 50 Year Plan for the World.
57,000 million tractors were produced last month, and 57,000 million UK children raised from abject poverty under His Benevolent Leadership.
And nothing is His fault – He never done Nuffin, innit
That is all.
Get back to your work – if you have any!
Lets hope he remembers his wellies!
Well f*ck me, he is the reincarnation of King Canute………… more miracles and saving the world !!!!
Brown will only cause more chaos, if I were one of the residents affected by these floods he is the last person on earth I would want to see if I were up to my neck in water.
They said that when I became chairman of the Standards Committee I might have to eat my words. So I have.
http://www.fxbites.blogspot.com/
But I’m not really fussed, doesn’t matter to me
Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Rubeee!
Ahaa-ahaa-aaaa…..
“BOLLOCKS TO YOU LOT IM OK”
Look! my dish is empty! Porr me, please fill it up…
I hope all this shagging doesn’t give me a weak tikka.
Mr. Curry’s now selling cardboard woks.
(Their about as much use as he was!)
je t’aime troughing………
cuaght with his pants down in more than one sense, resigning ?? Must be a Tory, as labour would deny it all and get on with the job!!!
Well done Mr Curry hehehehehehehe
Kelly back to drawing board after experimental truth-pill fails.
Daves’ problems stemmed from his failure to establish if wife number 1 shared the traditional French laissez faire attitude to adultery.
It goes without saying that I wish David Curry all th every best for the future and perhaps,one day,he may appear on X-Factor
O/T but
are all the areas affected by the floods represented by Labour MP’s?
Cockermouth
Workington
They should have expected the worse when Brown spent some of his August holidays around Keswick and went for a sail on Derwent Water
While we are off-topic: Benn talking about the current flood being a ‘one in a thousand year event’. It’s time to stop such nonsense – in the last twelve years I’ve witnessed (but not been affected by) one major flood, on the second occasion I had five foot of water in my home and today the only reason it hasn’t happened to me is that by chance it’s up-country from here. Climate change is a myth, oh yeah?
It’s a once-in-a-thousand-year event in any particular place. Considering the country as a whole, such events happen most years, and always have. Flooding has, however, become commoner in some areas becuase of urbanisation, bulding on flood plains and increased drainage of farmland.
Britain’s worst recorded tornado was in 1091. Southern England’s worst storm was in 1703. Exceptional weather is normal.
I can double my endurance to 45 seconds with this fitted to my balls.
sorry hugh, is that your contribution to the comments competition or your plans for the evening?
…and that’s on a good day….
Watching Brown being questioned last night re the sham that was the Belgian arsehole and the Hertfordshire Health Authority committee member being “elected” as Punkawalla’s in Chief to the great unelected Brown and his 26 other mates,it struck me how much he resembled a cross between Stalin,Breshnev and a lump of dogshit.
Stalin because he also had a lot of blood on his hands and was a communist.
Breshnev because he was the most soulless of the soulless henchmen and a communist
Dogshit because Brown stinks
What has Curry done wrong?
He broke Rule 1 (don’t get caught).
Now he’s a fully paid-up member of the Guild of Master Troughers.
Caught doing what?
Expense fiddling, it’s what MPs do (but are not very good at).
Y’know like that time your mum caught you wanking.
Barroso is a first class cnut!
It beats being a second class one such as McMental
A recent letter that he sent to me
“Hullo,
My name is Gordon and I am not even in the first division of Kunts , nonces and fucking idiots
One day my moral compass will guide me to such heady achievements if Baron Fallows it
Gqarden Btowv
oh nooooooooooooooo, not the moral compass……. nobody expects the moral compass :(
As it gets closer to a real election there is a tightening in the polls.
now that’s funny MB!
well done cripple, you cracked a good joke for a change.
brown’s a dead weight you moron.
therefore the tightening of the polls will be between the tories, liberals, others and independents.
suck it up fuckwit.
I meant Balls
Wrong again fuckwit.
“Certainly the polls are clear – The Conservatives are heading for government with a lead of over 12 points. But are the polls understating the Conservatives share as they tend to do. Even the 97 election exit polls underpolled the Conservatives by about 2.5 points and in contrast will the Smithson Labour poll rule that their worst poll will be their actual poll come into force?”
P.B.com
“As it gets closer to a real election there is a tightening in the polls.”
You’re having a laugh. More like “As it gets closer to a real election there is a tightening in Master Baiter’s PILES.”
In my pants more like.
hahahahahahaha
Gentler version of “crosshairs” logo for bent tories unveiled.
another boring comment from jimmy unveiled.
Err….Jimmy, the twat has already resigned. The crosshairs are for shagbuckets who should resign, but more often don’t, al la Baroness Botchland.
Hmmmm…someone left the door open again !!
Brown needs a kick in the tackle
Who is the guy in the caption?
My boomerang won’t come back
Try harder.
Your boomerang won’t come back??
don’t try at all MB.
fuck off to labourlist you c’unt.
we have had our fun but we are bored of you now.
fuck off wanker.
You’re very trying.
Plum crumble
Faggots & peas
Curry shows the new “Journobaffle” speech bubble. “When ‘No comment’ isn’t enough”.
Bliars EU Presidential acceptance speech in full.
The chairman demonstrates the function of the Standards and Priviledge’s Commitee
Joker standing outside autistic learning centre.
My contribution to the Uk!
Who’s nicked my Big Whopper.
BREAKING NEWS
David Cameron worried that Gordon Brown might wish the Tories “Good Luck” when he names the date of the General Election.
Fill this with cash there’s good taxpayers. You can then fuck off.
Bruins Christmas card list is read out in full.
This is a scan of Gordons head
cack
look at the balance sheet
All is well
“Standards Committee Chairman David Curry indicates how much money he intends to pay back”
Its the British constitution
Why do Gordon Brown’s advisers pursue strategies that make him look like a tool? For example saying every so often that he likes X Factor. I keep on saying he would be better off if he was just himself and people would respect him (more) for it. He is a boring technocrat in a suit.
“Why do Gordon Brown’s advisers pursue strategies that make him look like a tool?”
No need, he’s quite capable of reaching that position all on his own.
David Curry marks Lord Mandelson and his partner Gordon Brown following their appearance on Strictly Come Dancing.
Guido Fawkes displays his tax return
Daddy why do you and mummy sleep in different rooms?
Son
As you knpow I am a hero and saviour of the world (btw thw way just whjt is yout name?)
As a am so busy saving everybody I have noe tim to share a bed with yoire muther or even talk to you
so fuack off! ore you get the latest Nokia up yees sideways
Daddy Sleeps with Lord Mandy and Mummy sleeps with Men !
” Obama sends thoughtful letter to his best mate Gordon”
Julie Kirkbride says she is shocked by some of the ignorant comments made about her. She does a simply simply marvellous job and gets no thanks for it.
Julie I’ll slip you a length
you need a real man not that little fag you married
oh and i wont charge you a lot
just my expenses
yours throbbingley
Gordon
For my next trick, stare at the pan for 5-10 seconds and it will magically turn upside down.
It really does.
This trivial cartoon contest should keep the little people distracted,
while we get on with building the Fourth Reich.
Time for your pill Gordon.
I would like to apologize to all on this blog for my earlier comments, I’ve really not been feeling myself lately since my boyfriend left me and sent me a note saying that he’s just found out he is HIV pos.
For the last two years we’ve been getting up to all sorts of perverted stuff and now I am frightened that my thingy might fall off every time I get a chew from a rent boy. I’m also very worried that I might have passed something nasty on to my mate Dolly who I’ve been seeing a lot of as he’s not getting any at home due to the new arrival.
Life really is a bitch sometimes but I can always cheer myself up by flicking through my phottee collection of fave people, Gordy, Tone, Dave and Ed, you get the picture, anywho I’m off to see the dick doctor now before the surgery shuts for the week-end.
Bysee, byee,
thick as shit. (my other secret name)
6.45pm thief: you will be modded like a motherfucker if you do it again.
you dig?
good.
Carlsberg don’t do Thursdays, but…
Ironic that Blair has suffered the curse of McJonah and did not get THE JOB.
Ditto Harman: obviously when she and Gordon were conversing during Call Me Dave’s speech on Wednesday, he told her that he had squared it all with the cops and that she was in the clear.
This is a serious question…….. has Gordo knobbed the Quango Queen?? seems to me it is what he wanted all along knowing that Bliar would never get the job??
The head gave great head !
Jack straws younger brother shows off labours latest “think tank”of ideas
Think Tank?? thank f*ck it is not a military tank or his father would be running back to shelter in prison……
So Would Jack he is also a coward at his boarding school he refused to join the cadet force which was compulsory Seems a yellow streak runs right through his family
It has not yet been denied so I think this ……… and this is a serious question…….. has Gordo knobbed the Quango Queen?? Seems to me it is what he wanted her to get the Foreign Minister job all along, knowing that Bliar would never get the job of Pres??
You silly little tossers, you’re faffing around with Guido’s soppy caption contest while we are building structures to make you and your childrens’ children slaves for life.
And don’t think you can ever fight back ’cause we’ve disenfranchised you and taken all your weapons away.
Now get on with the caption contests while you can.
That Fat Fucker Prescott Ate The Whole Fucking Pie !
Showing here. Lot 53,
Lord Mandy’s favourite butt plug, this item is now surplus to requirements as Gordon insists on keeping his head up there.
Its amazing what a head mistress will do for a little extra funding !
yes even with an ugly c*nt like me
I would take her to my cottage But just so no one saw us
i always took her up the back entry ! Gwark!
Fuck me
“Due to the straightened economic situation we find ourselves in the spin-doctors have gone back from digital forms to silent movie type informing,this is the sanctioned press release that tuffers gave me while muttering summat about quitting digging in a hole”
Kirbride could make millions if she wants by spilling the beans….go for it girl.
She couldn`t do it without destroying herself in the process – but others can!
Kirkbride is NOT discreet!!!!
Standards really are dropping….
See, I said it was transparent! You can see right through it, just like my expenses claims.
Curry: Do I Care?
So the rules apply to me too…
Nobody told me that!!
Still, I’m no worse than Jack Straw!!
Nothing worse than a dodgy curry !
*** CLAPS ***
O/T McBust Says: Rumpy Pumpy Was Elected By “27″ Elected Leaders ! Wrong! 26 ELECTED LEADERS And You Our Imposed Leader. Twat !
Oh dear I came out of the dick doctors last night in a real tizzy. He found a great big red and yellow thing on my biffens bridge (that’s the bit between your arse and your cock to all of you that are straight) and there’s all sorts of sticky stuff coming out of it.
Anywho, I’ve just checked my phone messages and there’s a very angry one on there from Dolly ordering me to call him at once (I love it when he get’s all forceful) but he says that when he walks he looks like he’s got two hairs up his arse tied together and Katy poo is finally up for (and fully expecting) a good seeing to tonight and he’s properly in the shit (if you know what he means).
Oh my goodness, what am I to do? I’ll probably have a good sniff of nitro and have a wank (if it’s not too painful) over my photee of Tone.
By all of you right wingers and try not to be so unkind Gordy et al. XXXXXX
Now you see it… Now you don’t!
For once, a politician whose words you can believe.
“No, I couldn’t believe someone would have an affair with me either”
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