Friday Caption Contest (Big Letters Edition)
Labour’s Brave New Strategy - Dizzy
Mephedrone: Dealing with the Facts – ASI blog
Deficit in a Spin – City Unslicker
I Was BNP Bigot Until I Fell for My Jamaican Colleague – Mirror
Conservatives Baffled by Letwin’s Policy Pyramid – Times
Piers Morgan is a Tory – Fraser Nelson
The Bunker Bod Funded Entirely by Unite – Standard
Welcome to the e-Election – John Harris
Mad Nad: Declaring War on Scantily Clad Women - Devil’s Kitchen
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Nick Clegg said…
“Charlie Whelan and Lord Ashcroft are exactly the same. One is the baron of the trade unions, and the other one is the baron of Belize. Both are bankrolling political parties, both are trying to buy seats.”
+ Crude (June)
As of 16 Mar 2010
-Gilts (Mar)
As of 26 Feb 2010
Flat – No Positions
As of 23 Feb 2010 +30.81%
How the fuck d’ya spell Broon
“How the fook d’ye spell ‘Janes’ ?”
NLJD = Nasty Lying Jizzum Drinker
Nu Layber Jonty’s dog.
Noxious Little Jabeeba Dickhead
Greatest British Prime Minister ever signs letter to the Sun “Nuspaper” thanking them for fucking tory twats with” The Sun spell cheque?”
Sun Readers enraged at spelling of TITTS!
signed
Im a Fucking Bong-Eyed Unelected Kunt !
He is thinking
“SHIT I AVENT LEFT ENUFF FUCKING ROOM TO FIT MA NAME IN”
Labour = fucking unbelievable financial misconduct
I, Gordon Strangebroon, resign…
Listen Jimmy, I’ve got a degree from the Dan Quayle School of English.
You say potatoe ………
LOOKS LIKE A HOT ALPHA MALE TO ME COME HERE GORDON>
Hi C arrumba
“How the fook d’ye spell ‘Janes’ ?”
And so I followed Silvio, and signed away the UK’s sovereign rights like this.
By the way, we have numerous Helicopters. They’re not being deployed to Iraq. We’re keeping them in the UK to counteract civil unrest when the electorate wakes up and realise they’ve been screwed over….
It won’t work. One reason for keeping large numbers of military personnel in foreign lands is to prevent the possibility of a military coup. Having helicopters and no-one to fly them is not going to do it when a civil coup starts. It’s coming.
I Look Handsome Here. I am happy because my Party has won a by election.
I’ve been to Glasgow North East.
They have the MP they deserve. Just like the last one.
But only until next May when there’ll be another election………
The General Election will be seen as a Bye Bey Election.
G O R D O M B O W N
Bitch! Beat me to it ;)
I was going for:
“Remember Gordo: B-R-O-W-N, B-R-O-W-N”
How do you spell McTwat?
Starts with a 5?
I’m the prime minister. I’ll spell any way I fucking like.
By the way get me a new phone… and you’d better get her a new printer while you are at it.
its spelled
M c C u n t
My name is Gorden no, Gordoom no, GORDON Bruin no, Broon, no BROWN and I am an illegitimate no, iliterate no, illiterate c*nt, no C-U-N-T
“Och, it disnae matter hoo ah spell ma name, the building’s cursed now it has ma name on it.”
How do you spell, “Sorry”?
GoRdEZ bROnEAN
Will this get me on “Spunky Spunky”?
NLJD = Not Liked Jabeeba Despot
“I… AM…. A … CUNT…”
Is that a gravestone?
I am sorry for wrecking the economy
I am sorry for wrecking the economy
I am sorry for wrecking the economy
I am sorry for wrecking the economy
I am sorry for wrecking the economy
I am a New World Order patsy.
I am a New World Order patsy.
I am a New World Order patsy.
I DON’T apologise for what I’ve done to the UK economy.
I must, I must, I must make them BUST!
I must, I must, I must make them BUST!
I must, I must, I must make them BUST!
I am NOT sorry for wrecking the economy
I am NOT sorry for wrecking the economy
I am NOT sorry for wrecking the economy
I am NOT sorry for wrecking the economy
I am NOT sorry for wrecking the economy………..
…………….because it completes my revenge on the middle class.
Due to technical obstructions, I am unable to see the picture.
However, I am able to reconstruct it from the helpful captions.
Gordo’s head, with one eye coming out on a spring, attached to a donkey’s body with a rigid tail poised above an orange cone of excrement, clouded in a discreet halo of steam.
Thank you, one and all.
I um a dolusiunal, sucio-pathetic cant.
I um a dolusiunal, sucio-pathetic cant.
I um a dolusiunal, sucio-pathetic cant.
I um a dolusiunal, sucio-pathetic cant.
Repeat until lesson learned.
True to form, Gordon tries to make himself look good by surrounding himself with incompetents.
Gordon Brown writes out his application for the EU President job on a giant chalkboard to avoid any more damaging mistakes. “Gizza Job – I can do that”
Janes
Obama
Obama
Obama
Obama
Obama
Obama
Obama
Obama
Shouldn’t that be “Omaha”?
Because it’s the write thing to do.
LOL
Actually her son was evacuated by helicopter within the one hour window after being wounded but you wouldn’t hear that in the Effin Sun.
What good is an hour? Silly boy.
“If only I can learn to flog the signature of that head guy from the IMF I’d be home and dry”
The decline of civil society – Prime Minister pictured applying graffiti to wall
I bet Banksy won’t copy this signature!
Brown comments on Damien McBrides new blog
James Merde’ock saw the campaign blow up in his face.
It just wasn’t cricket and all turned to dust.
Hahahaha
Not a caption you thin skinned little turd.
Vlad, try to keep up or keep quiet.
Odd really. He was Murdoch, not Merde’och a few weeks ago……
Orders from Bunker, don’t use real names!
James Merde’ock has himself on google watch.
This way he can be cast iron lamp hoon posted in secret, isn’t it?
Hahahaha
I go away for a few months, and come back to find this gurner still here, and he’s laughing at his own attempts at humour. What a disappointment
Dirty boy
Who line is it anyway
June 2010-Gordon and the other 4 members of the Parliamentry Labour Party sign the Party Bankruptcy Petition Papers.
Now children, please welcome the new student who was expelled from his last school for bullying. He is here to learn about how money works. Please write your name on the board – No, that’s not right, is it?
Now let me get this right…..
FISTING CLUNK.
Got it.
Signing a treaty is easier than I though.
Dear Mrs James, I mean Jones, I mean Jade Goodies, I mean ……
Look, I’m no friend of Brown, but leave the guy alone to get on with saving us and the world. OK?
Get back to Bunker Control and get another alias off the list. Don’t use that one again, we think it might have been rumbled.
You’ve said that 5000 times on every site possible.
and it’s still unconvincing puerile crap.
Can’t you do any better? At least try and give us some entertainment.
This duck walks into a pub and asks the barman “have you got any bread”…
The barman says, “Sorry no. But you’re a duck and you can talk.”
The duck replies, “I only talk to earn a crust.”
Getting my coat now.
Barnman says: “Yes, but I can’t give you any because of Elfin Safety!
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6554552/Woman-fined-for-feeding-the-ducks.html
OK Moley – behind the bus shelter near Green Park – I shall run extra hard and fast to lose my minder and then you can “let me ENTERTAIN you….”
“And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the formula for alchemy- er, I mean ending boom and bust”
The man who scrawled the messiest suicide note in history
As long as he’s succesful we don’t care about neatness.
Unfortunately, he’s neither successful or neat.
And the longest
It’s The Thought That Counts.
no comment about the by election guido ?
Labour hold safe seat. 67% of the electorate don’t vote.
The end
The end? But the BBC says it is a dramatic victory!
It IS a drama up there – living beyond 45 yrs is an achievement.
And I thought voluntary euthanasia is illegal?
Surely suicide by voting Labour soon will be!
How many days left to save the world?
27 days left.
Indeed; according to the BBC it’s a ringing endorsement of Brown’s policies.
The fact that people there would vote labour even if Brown cut off their arms and legs with a rusty hacksaw, yet less than a third of people bothered to vote at all doesn’t seem to be relevant to the bbc.
People there just don’t care about the country/economy; all that matters is:
1) Will I get my giro for sitting on my arse?
or:
2) Will I have to try and find a job?
And they vote accordingly.
The good news is that most of Labour’s 28% nationally will be concentrated in seats like this.
There won’t be many votes left in marginal seats.
HOLD THE FRONT PAGE !!
LABOUR RETAINS SEAT IT’S HELD FOR 74 YEARS !!!
The fact that it’s being hailed as good news and a wonderful victory says more than the result itself.
They didn’t expect to win.
Labour holds Glasgow NE, what a surprise! Glasgow, home of Labour’s hard-line support, where laws passed over England by Scottish MPs don’t apply, but English taxes pay for reduced (and by 2011 free) prescriptions.
You are Green with envy.Tory Turds.
They got the MP they deserve. They certainly deserved the last one, the drunken, heroin addled, wifebeating pyschos
Its time England got shot of these mouthy, drunken, drug raddled parasites
we’ve put up ‘em for 300 years and thats enough
why on earth we continue to do so beats me
its only the westminster political class that allows them to keep sucking at the English teat
if you ask anyone in an English pub they’d be history right now
The Celts were in the British isles before the English so push off back to Germany.
What’s on the menu TODAY,Gordon?
The names on Gordon’s Christmas Card list were dropping of so quickly, this was the easiest way to keep track
Auntie Beeb reveal the replacement for the 1960’s test card clown
good one
ace!
V.good………..
Best so far, IMHO.
Excellent.
Gets my vote too. Can you get this in HD?
Bravo
To Mr James. Get Well Soon.
Love Gurdun.
vgood
The writing’s on the wall Gordan
Deer Moses Anus, sorry misses anais
Yur sin gott blewn up by alky aida, i feeling down for yoo
Brown ‘brainstorming’ a list of people to blame for his latest fuck-up.
After 5 attempts,the Prime Minister was getting nearer to spelling his name correctly…..
Definitely no. 1
I have the formula for doom!
“There Mandelson thats how you fill in a fucking mortgage application form.”
Gordon was determined to get his full entitlement under the “One Signature, One Vote” scheme.
Gordon leaving a message of respect at the Cenotaph on Wednesday.
GB demonstrates new high tech teaching aid shortly to be rolled out in schools. Called a “blackboard”, marks are made using “chalk”…..
I’m sorry that word can no longer be used. The article in question is now called a ‘rainbow board’
and board implis thin – which is fattist
Bored implies the mood of the government front bench.
OI, you got something about us rainbows?
But you can still use the term Whiteboard.
And you can’t say teachers – this suggests pupils are inferior.
The word is now “young people’s slightly older classroom colleagues”
Twat hasn’t got enough room to finish.
Doesn’t he know how long his name is? Oh right, yeah….
see? I can spell the names of all the dead
very good
agree
‘G . . o . . r . . d . . o . . n . . . . B . . r . . a . . w . . dammit.’
you forgot the “finger space”
Gordy expressing his inDUHviduality
Hail fellow Dilbert Fan!
Hey!, I thought DNRC operatives were supposed to keep other members’ affiliation secret.
What blind gordo doesn’t realise is that he’s signing his own death warrent…..should of gone to specsavers!
“have” gone – see Gordon for the correct grammar,young lady.
The writings on the wall Shaun,Thick as shit. Bet your glad you changed sides now. Fuck off to your mansions you bourgouse twat
Wot? I am glad? My glad?
Wow!
Five (or, one might argue, more) grammar/spelling errors in only 26 words – another triumph for NuLab education.
Also ‘Warrant’ so don’t criticise Brown.
Gordon Brown gets behind the whiteboard industry
Mr Brown the cat sat on the mat,not the cat s*at on the mat,your writing is awful
‘I’m no fan of myself, but…’
Peter told me to do it
“Yuo see – smoe poeple can splel wrose tahn me.”
Thinks:
if I spell my name wrong on this Lisbon treaty can we legally wriggle out of it and keep our election promise?
Excellent. Illegible signature, he (supposedly) sneeked in late at night to sign, but no-one notices… Lisbon must be null and void.
Now that’s what I call a Postal Vote.
Five fucking signatures equals Five fucking Votes.
My name is Gordon,what’s your disability?
Gordon adds his name to the government’s new signature database.
As a poster pointed out on the last thread (Trying to catch up here) Glasgow NE voted for Labour depsite all the horrific things this government has done and its so depressed there nothing has improved over 3 Labour administrations. Therefore I do not care about these people anymore I hope it stays absolutely horrific for them and I hope they remain eternally depressed with no money and no proospects whatsover for the rest of their rotten stupid ignorant fucked up lives. Why? because by voting for these idiots thats just what they have tried to do to us with a finger in the air as well.
That will be the only a fitting tribute to the complete stupidity of them voting for shit. They wanted it well lets give it to them in absolute spades. Fuck em all and the quicker we cut off those twats from any cash, support or absolutely any funding whatsoever so much the better. I an sick and fucking tired of supporting these fucking wasters
I thank you
Too soft.
I saw we take off, nuke the city from orbit; it’s the only way to be sure.
Here’s Gordon and the cabinet on the day after the election.
Yes, but by my calculations, taking into account the turnout, only 20% bothered to get off their fat arses and go out to vote for Labour.
I guess the rest were too busy deep frying mars bars, injecting smack and beating up the missus.
Less postal voters
fewer
Don’t vote, it only encourages them
Round these parts some cant even be bothered to get off their fat arses to walk down to the post box to return a registration form for the electoral roll.
http://www.littlehamptongazette.co.uk/news/Don39t-lose-your-right-to.5806531.jp
Only about 8,000 actually got off their arses and went out and bothered to vote as there were over 7,000 applications for postal votes.
Just a practice until the real thing comes around early next June, polishing up the system so nothing goes wrong when our glorious leader reaffirms his grip on the country.
stop sitting on the fence!
Kid on Scot
I take it you only see Glasgow when you are flying up for the grouse shooting?
The place has changed immeasurably for the better over the past 12 years, however the same trends are still work against that particular constituency.
Glasgow, the city as it now stands is a political construct.
All the statistics which show the city in a bad light are focused on this artificial construct / boundary.
Glasgow, at the metroplitan area tells a different story.
That includes all the middle class suburbs that would not be there if Glasgow did not exist.
The process of economic distillation is the main driver here.
Do well in life, want a big fancy house then there are to be found 800m up the A803 in Bishopbriggs.
However that is in East Dumbartonshire so your success is Glasgow’s loss.
Repeat over 3 generations since WW2 and you have significant population drain in Glasgow and crowded suburbs.
Reasons for this?
Snobbery
Aspirational drift
Schools in many areas
Housing stock
Physical environment.
80’s industrial genocide
Post 45 and the factories are still working means the physical environment is not very middle class / middle income friendly.
Springburn was boom town built on the railways.
Industry has largely vanished in keeping with the rest of the UK.
Consequently problems were to be expected.
However the last 12 years means that things have indeed got better:
Glasgow jobs market
Physical environment in Springburn — eyesore in Keppochill Rd excepted.
Public amenities.
I don’t normally agree with Mr Brown, but having read this illuminating post I have changed my mind. I was under the impression that the residents of Springburn were forced to live off state benefits rather than going out and working like those idlers up the road in the suburbs. I am glad that there is a jobs market in Glasgow, perhaps I can set up a stall and buy and sell some. I am glad that the residents have some nice public amenities rather than using the gutter.
The last 12 years really have made a huge difference!
Nike Mailer
Your attempts at humour are worse than mine.
What your saying is entirely unsurprising for pretty much all of the UK. People move from crappy areas. Industrial towns/cities are in the shit.
However, theres still a feeling that the whole places relies too much on handouts (yep. same is said of English post-industrial places). Did you see the Jonathan meades hatchet job of football pool towns?
He did like grangemouth though.
Parsley Sunlight
Industrial areas of large cities are under pressure.
The legacy of all the contaminated land and industrial debris doesn’t help.
Especially if they had a poor housing stock and were hemmed in by politically motivated boundaries.
The contrast between Springburn and Bishopbriggs is binary.
One has been in decline for 50 years, while the other is waiting with baited breath for the opening of Glasgow’s first Waitrose.
Yes the Waitrose is in Glasgow and not East Dumbartonshire.
JL must know something that the “GIB’y” wingnuts on “Spunky Spunky” don’t.
Yet they share a land border that doesn’t include watchtowers and barbed wire. Add the two areas together and you have a sort of normality, divide and rule and you get modus operandi of the Edinburgh elite who have played a 65 year game to run Glasgow down.
That sounds rather parochial. The Jonathan Meades point was grangemouth is actually all about people making and doing useful things. A punch line to that joke is that there were a hell of a lot of English people working there.
Parsley Sunlight
I fear the Bold Mr Meades has been taken in by the free fire and light show. Grangemouth has been taken over by the petro-chemical works, where diversity of previous manufacturinf sites has been eclipsed by the volume of the product coming in from the North Sea that needs refining.
Consequently the area benefits from an accident of geography, no North Sea oil and it would be a shadow of its formal self. Interesting that Grangemouth like Springburn could be considered an industrial boom town only 50 years later and a lot luckier with a provident second wind in 1976 with the landing of Forties oil
It also took a couple of heavy blows during Maggie’s industrial genocide campaign 79-86. So big in fact that the whole Falkirk region was affected and suffered accordingly.
Consequently I would keep quiet about the English economic migrants coming up and stealing our jobs and possibly our women. Although with the state of the flange in the 80’s they would be welcome to most of them.
The dancing in Falkirk was terrible, full of loud mouthed brawlers with tatoos, dodgy haircuts and questionable dress sense, and that was just the ladies.
Newcastle / Sauchiehall Street it certainly wasn’t.
As for Mr Meades I fear that he has lost the common touch now that the Lada is history, interesting but ultimately dull and tedious due to an overworked narrative.
Either that or I am just getting older.
#51 McS F (Jr)
“…by voting for these idiots thats just what they have tried to do to us with a finger in the air as well…”
Agreed – for the small minority who actually did vote NuLab. Two-thirds of the electorate did NOT vote, the closest any of us can get to ‘none of the above’ under our lousy system.
Rather than seeing abstentions as evidence of irresponsibility, we might view at least some of them as protests? (I’m clutching at straws here, you understand).
I must spell correctly
I must spell correctly
I mst spel correctlee
I mrst splle crectlee
I mus spl corexlee
I muss speel corekly
Asked to write down the sensation that the knife between his shoulder blades had brought on, the PM comes up with “Goolies Burn”.
Got it at last, “Obama Beach,” new I would learn to spell it one day.
Banksy’s popularity dives after his real persona is revealed.
Hahaha!!
Quality!
We, the undersigned, beg Sarah to keep her baps covered up in future.
trying to outdo her husband, but no-one’s as big a tit as him.
tbh though… she seems to have quite quality norks for an old bird. I wanna see more.
I might try to chat her up sometime … that’ll get gordon back for fucking us all over.
(.)(.)
They were like roof tilers nail bags…..ooh.
SBH = standard British handful.
Nice pair of Nokias.
There was a rumour on ARRSE, that a squaddie from 2 para had previously been trunking her. (Partially explaining browns’ dislike of the military.)
But can ANYONE find a previous girlfriend of Gordons?
Me darling, now about those grey roots……….
Yes – they all languish in one of those Victorian mental hospitals that skirt the M25 in Hertfordshire – forever staring in to space and muttering;
“why isn’t Gordon home yet – he told me he was having a quick head to head with someone called Peter and then he would be coming round to help with the cleaning”……
His Jonah Curse almost did for one of them…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheena_McDonald
Don’t say you weren’t warned Sarah.
Don’t forget Alky Ada
Think that would bother Gordon? she’s a beard.
The writing’s on the wall…
Nothing up my sleeves..
I’ve never liked spelling competitions.
I put my name to this promise to hold a referendum on Europe.
2009: Gotcha, there was no piece of paper with my signature that said that I would hold a referendum on the Lisbon Treaty. That’s why I signed that wall instead, and painted over it later.
Sorry your Son’s dead….but I feel your pain….
I’m sorry i lost The Sun.
Gordon’s message of sympathy for war dead :
Roses are red
Violets are blue
My cock’s stiff
And so are you.
(with apologies to Scott Adams)
My favourite.
…”and so as you can by these deliberations I was, unlike the party opposite’ quite right about quoting a 0% rise”
Rivalling Hollywood’s Walk Of Fame, Gordon Brown was one of the first 5 to sign Blackpool’s Kunts Corridor.
like this unlike Brown you get my vote
“Cast Eye Ron”
“Trans Payer ant”
“So loose ian”
“So Wet”
Gordon signs the Lisbon Constitution er Treaty or non contractual not really changing anything memorandum.
D….e…..a…….r……………….s…o….l…..d……i…….e……..r…….s……..f…….u…..c…….k…….y………o………….u………..P……..M….a…..n…d…….l………e……….s…….o…….n
“and then you multiply the budget deficit by 1.4 trillion, divide by the amount I lost selling off the gold at the bottom of the market, deduct the hundred billion I wiped off private pension funds, add 200 billion QE, sprinkle with supermagic socialist fairy dust and .. voila! 0 percent growth. Beat that, do-nothing Tories.”
77: snap
& 70 snap again…
You fuckers are like Labour – keep pinching everyone else’s stuff!
lol
So, carry forward the public sector pension deficit, keep PFI of the books – lease military equipment so it doesn’t appear for 50 years. Count all spending as investment and put it into the cash account column and Hey! Yes!
The budget balances.
Now class, this is how I fucked up the economy 20 years ago.
How do you spell ‘B’ ?
Gordon can’t resist leaving his number when he visits public loos.
“Call Gordon for a good time.
Topless hand relief £15″
Rocking horse & soiled diaper are tax-deductable extras
Can you see what it is yet?
a twat in a suit
Gordon’s message on lavatory wall:
“Have you got a big cock? If so meet me here at 9pm tonight big boy, for a good hard shag”
We’ve all been fucked by the Hoon already
“I’m s…s……s…..s……so…….so……sor……sorr”
“No. Can’t get the hang of it”.
Sorry, you’re right it should be an ‘e’
The writing`s on the wall for Gordon
Gordo practices forging signatures for the postal voting ballot papers.
Gaydon Brain
Paxman: “Meanwhile, Tories are complaining the Prime Minister’s plan to turn Old Masters into black boards for inner city classrooms is going to far”
Brown: “Do nothing Tories”
More people sign up to the “Gordon Must Go” campaign
“How do you spell McFuckwit? Its not my name but its *jaw dropping movement* what everyone knows me by”
The Gordon Gulp is a hangover from his frequent holidays cottaging in Cape Cod.
Dear Mrs James
Dont you fucking well dare contradict me you fucking whinging bitch I’ll have you turfed out of your fucking house and put on the side of the road if you try any more of that fucking shit stirrring against me you fucking cow. Fuck you!
With kind regards
Gordon Brown
too compassionate
Gordon Brown signs his wife away in return for another year in office.
After the failure of his last hand-written letter, Gordon considers signing with the names of other celebrities
Gordon sneaking in last to sign the Lisbon treaty.
‘hmm……………..just as well Balls is next..he can rite post endoginos growf feary’
Fuck me – and you expect me to be able WRITE?
“I owe you, two hundered billio……..
I hate all Americans – especially Omaha
It’s NOT racist to write on a blackboard.
Evidence revealed : Lying bastard has put the UK on the slate with the IMF.
‘What’s this……….The bluidy Blair has written Bruin can’t spel’
” I owe you, three hundred billi………………….
£2.5 Trillion
Brown + Quantative Easing = You’re All Broke [x 50 years]
Now, in which column do I put the now nationalised “National Express” rail franchise….. “government investment” or even more New Labour run-up deficit? Decisions, decisions.
My book is called “I did what Hitler couldn’t”
Mene, mene, tekel, upharsin.
Boy are you on the wrong site.
Not all us Vikings are savages, you know.
I thought the nice ones stayed at home and made wooden furniture.
Scandinvia having done its own version of the bit at the end of hitchhikers guide to the galaxy.
They do have such a nice crinkly coast.
Sorry I meant hooligans – typing too fast!
No, you are, Jimmy. There are some pretty cultured people here, as well as the hooloigans, unlike the dross you will find staring up their own arses on Labourlist or the illiterates on most of the newspaper sites.
Brilliant caption, Viking. Cleverest thing I have seen on here in ages.
@205 Agreed *
* ok, so I had to google its meaning first but hey…..
“There are some pretty cultured people here,”
Don’t be silly. It’s plainly just English Viking, me and some plankton.
The teacher kept Gordon behind after class for remedial handwriting classes…
Sorry I left out the Tit in Quantitative ..oh no there he is with a bit of chalk in his hand.
Muffamatician
Gordon’s afraid of Math or was that Muff? Or was it erections.. or elections ?
The PM will now concentrate on writing one very big condolence letter for everyone.
Thank God they fell for my story about signing a big board. If I’d had to sign a regular piece of paper I’d have probably written all over the desk.
Gordon writes his mobile number under the glory hole.
What’s her number, I give her a call to smooth it over.
While I am at it do you have Mr Murdoch’s just in case I make a mess of calling Mrs Thingy
The Truth and Reconciliation Commission required Gordon to confess his crimes against the people in five inch high letters.
confess his crimes against the people ?
in writing??
There’s not enough paper on the planet for that
Brown manages to sign into What’s my Line- at his fifth attempt.
Brown demonstrates how teachers can help make savings by recycling used chalk dust.
Taking aside the fact that he has poor eyesight (so do I – I wear glasses), just looking at the signature reveals a lot in my opinion.
I have scruffy handwriting, but my signature is a work of art. Look at the others on the board and compare.
I know you can’t hang a man for having a shit signature, but it is shit. Speaks volumes.
Oh yes we CAN hang a man for a poor signature!
And we will.
Copperplate. That’s what it is mate. Copperplate.
When Tony Blair told Gordon to leave his mark on Downing Street, this wasn’t quite what he had in mind…
This is me practising my handwriting!!!!
This guy does serial graffiti. He was caught on Camera yesterday scribbling on a bog wall at a diesel automotive factory in Gillingham
http://www.daylife.com/photo/02AidR9fWX74W?q=Gordon+Brown
Where’s the jobcentre?
It was Delphi Diesel Systems.
Expect insolvency within weeks.
Christ almighty – as fresh as a daisy eh?
I’ve seen healthier specimens in the morgue I once worked in while on a Labour-sponsored offenders rehabilitation programme (I was found by a Traffic Warden to be 11 minutes overdue in my parking space and got 12 years in the Scrubs – the bloke in Court after me got an all expenses holiday to Bermuda and a new council flat,murdered his entire family,so they told me).
If that was the state of Gordon yesterday then today Friday 13th should be his last.
Is this next week’s competition.
If so ” Bloody hell – where’s my nose gone?”
I reckon they have to drug him up every few hours to keep him gping. Never thought it was that bad though, that man in that photo is a corpse.
http://www.daylife.com/photo/02AidR9fWX74W?q=Gordon+Brown
Gordon, facing calls to resign, wrote his name again on the blackboard.
Public spending cuts hit Number 10, as Gordon Brown tries his latest computer…
Gordon just could not think of any other way to leave his mark on Downing Street
Gordon Brown signs the “prolabour-spin-for-license-fee-money” deal with the BBC.
(BBC’s headline today, I shit you not, is:
By-election win endorses Brown
Labour hail their win in the Glasgow North East by-election as an endorsement of Prime Minister Gordon Brown’s policies.)
gordon entering Best Handwriting Competition at a Finchley catholic boys school, where the organiser of the competition said he was a dead cert to win.
I would settle for his simply being dead.
NLJD
New Labour Jock Dickhead.
Pish Jap Watch
Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong!
You must be part of the Militant Wing of Express readers on here.
FUCKING BLACK BOARDS I THOUGHT WE HAD GOT RID OF THESE, Anyway here is the theory of relativity, you see it is all relative, I have a brother a relative, we both shared a cleaner>wink wink< she earned a minumum wage, we bumped up her pay per hour and gave her a passport in return for £2.50 per hour off her wage. Good ere init.
She was happy, we were happy, the country was happy.
As a labour party we have many relatives, you migt call them illegals, undesirables, economic migrants, but to us they are long lost relatives, we share their grief, we share their money and we fuck any Tory who complains.
Brown – has to write 100 lines after school after handing in shoddy work:
I must lern how to spel corectly
I must lern how to spel corectly
I must lern how to spel corectly
……
Class, I can never remember whether you spell CAT with a curly ‘ku’ or a kicking ‘ku’
I am no fan of Gordon Brown’s butt.
Now, thats my kids signed up for Afghanistan….
Hopefully by the time they are 18 we’ll be out of there!
Now can you c€*%S read my f@$£ing writing?
I might have known it. The stars of this 1 goal campaign are
Bono, Sir Bob Geldof, Gordon Brown (UK Prime Minister)
http://www.join1goal.org/en/about-us
Three prize pratts who are experts at throwing other people’s money away at their deserving causes.
Lord Brown of Blackboard…. I mean, of Chalkboard. That sounds good.
Is this how you spell “lizbonn”?
“My snot writes better than chalk ever did”
Isn’t that the EU Treaty?
“This is a Cape Cod, and just here… is where I tried my first great american kebab. It’s so much better if you hold the fries, I can tell you”.
Gosport Bullies…….close enough!
Watching Darling’s face slowly turn in to a smirk has made my day!
Thanks.
I wonder what made Harperson smile 22 – 29 secs
It looks as though someone catches her eye from a gallery…
Her husband had just shown her a message from the gallery;
“Jacqui says she can come round tonight,her hubbie is watching more porn”.
you can see why when you look at the size of the mrs
http://blogs.mirror.co.uk/maguire/2009/11/glasgow-smiles-better-for-brow.html
dear oh dear. Poor Kev. do you think this is all his own work?
And you MUST read the comment under that article – f’ing priceless – totally brilliant!
Just in case McGuire sees the comment and tries to delete it,I have copied it here;
Daily Mirror;
john said:
“Did you write this yourself or did you just take it dowm verbatum from you friends in No.10?. You know the chaps, the ones you meet in a ‘personal capacity’ so they can tell you what smears to print about the Conservatives.
Do you find it difficult to reconcile your faux outrage about the Sun this week with your past association with Mcbride et al?.
You are not so much a reporter more a political cipher made flesh. You proved that with your insipid performance on HIGNFY. Were they paying you per word? If so I’m amazed if it covered the tube fare home to the workers paradise of Richmond.
November 13, 2009 2:08 PM
Whatever else is said it’s 100% accurate for Maguire’s performance on HIGNFY – he barely uttered a syllable leaving all the work to Hislop. The BBC should ask for the return of his “fee” . He was utter “SHITE”
Like Brown the bully,the McGuire bully boy was so quiet because he was shit scared of the other four on the show – he adopted a bizarre left shoulder twitch in an attempt to pretend to be laughing at the jokes,all the while counting down the clock in seconds until the moment he could escape from the BIG boys.
Ian Hislop is not funny.
Hahaha
MB – I didn’t say Hislop was funny although he was but not as funny as Merton. Howvere if you’re a “team” and you have been paid to appear you ARE supposed to actually contribute SOMETHING to the programme
Not Richmond – Kingston.
I am not usually a fan of Kevin Maguire, but the scurrilous comments have changed my mind
Mike Naylorr said:
I am not usually a fan of Labour and I am still not
November 13, 2009 2:28 PM
Just about all the comments under Toilet’s journalistic efforts were well worth reading – I found myself laughing out loud a couple of times.
“Me and Mrs Ja
mnes… we got a thing going on”Without doubt – today’s winner – all other bets are OFF.
“Do you have any coloured chalk?”
“Dear Jim..Pleeze wil yu fix it fer me to be PM again”
One of the “mature students” on the University of Strathclyde Postgraduate Diploma in Teaching Course in English Grammar – September 2010 demonstrates his spelling skills on the “chalk-board” for the rest of the class
Thankyou everyone. For my next trick, I, The Great Gordo – Mathemagician will now ..Hey! Who’s pinched me hat?”
MENE, MENE, TEKEL, UPHARSIN
” .. so we put the brick..on..the accelerator”
Excuse my dodgy handwriting as I have to stir my own porridge.
No, no – give me another chance. I’ll get the hang of this noughts & crosses soon.
At his weekly press briefing, Peter Mandelson’s mute assistant writes down the names of the journalists to be ‘re-educated’ later.
stultorum calami carbones moenia chartae
V good.
Winner.
155 cap shuns and waiting……
Gordon demonstrates “How he saved the Global Economy” to a spellbound and incredulous audience at the recent G20 meeting
“So Damien if you comment on the Sun blogs. “I dont like Gordon but…” Mandelbum will do toenails again ”
No one likes Gordon on the latest Toenail blog they must still be in the pub celebrating their postal vote win
‘And so using my theory on reverse alchemy I can now turn gold into fuckall’
Brilliant.
Gordon Browm
The Gordon Brown must stay petition gets another signature…
When filling in phoney postal votes always try and make them look different – like these examples.
Stealing registers and ballot boxes is only condoned as a least resort although whats good for Scotland should equally apply to England..
E&EO
Gordon tries a Ruprecht impression.
“I have trouble with spooling because I have dyspepsia. Anyway, I think you will find that the pen I was using was produced under a Tory administration. Education is the best it’s ever been, hospitals are faultless, the troops have all they need and are all millionaires and the economy is soaring. Gort, klaatu nikto barada”
New Immigration Policy :
Write their name on back of their coats that’s the only way we can keep track of them
I Gordon Brown promise never to er er er er er er er ( i know how to spell Lie no peter don’t help me.), er er er er er er,
“Today’s Special are off, all of them they have been bought by the proprietor.”
MB – yours WILL be a special case – an EXTRA short rope and a longer drop for you to dangle, come June
Upper case is so upper case, isn’t it?
Owner of the newly opened Kirkcaldy “gastro pub” chalks up “Speshuls Menu”
Unsurprisingly the “Turd in the Hole” wasn’t having many takers
I definitely did not write on any blackboard!
“Chalkboard” you unreconstructed person !!!!!
He’s actually going to write across the other signature on the board – “Jesa”.
A person cannot even sign their own bleeding name without this piece of crap trying to interfere!
How do i write 67:1 against as decimal odds?
Erm? GORDAN? GORDEN? GORDON?
“I cannae make me mind up.”
GORD@N
“Ha, who’s a clever boy then?”
Lucky McCyclops blends in with the Glasgow East voters by defacing the local school during the campaign…
If you magnify the cufflinks you will see a Hammer and Sickle emblem, has the man no shame!
Shit, how do I spell my name?!….erm…..F..er u..c..k….err…i…n..g……….erm….R…..E…T…..A….R….D.
Yep, think that’s right!
Is he signing his name as Captain Brown?
He lies, he smears, but when he gets it, it ends in tears!
Brown is a bully and an obnoxious one at that.
I hope he gets what he deserves.
Look at what Labour’s education policies can do for hard-working families. Since Eddy ( Bullyboy ) Balls’ teaching initiatives have been implemented, my spelin and ritein hav got much beter. I rekon Im a A grayd student now, innit, like. Dya nartarmean ??
Brown carves “I LUV MANDY” on Tomb of Unknown Soldier
Gordon signing the Lisbon Treaty
And noo, ah’ll dae that thing wi ma’ fingernails that sets ye’r teeth on edge….
“_____________________________________________________”
……..or maybe ah’ll just drum ma stumps.
Gordon woz here
Losers Sign Below
… is a cu…
Gordon appalls even the most brain dead Labourites by signing a soldier’s coffin
“Dear Presidont Blair I will foon be fout of lurk is therre anys chafnce of A lOB in yous foffice.”
Gordon the Bogey Man!
Now how do I spell “Sun Newspaper” is it “C-u-n-t gutter-rag”?
After years of denial Gordon Brown at last concedes that the writing is on the wall.
This is all I wrote on that piece of paper in Lisbon …. Gurdun Bruwn .
Read my lips.
“Hey Omaha – is this how you spell -MORON? “
” Hey Omaha – how do you spell moron?”
I’m putting my name down to apply to be President of Europe, just as Simon Jenkins said.
“… and this is how the UK balances the budget.”
mutter from crowd
“What do you mean … I didn’t write ‘Lose the election’!”
New presenter on CBeebies hasn’t quite grasped the concept of “Casual” it seems
Gordon Brown accused of massaging the figures when emulating Tracy Emin’s Tent for charity.
I am waiting for Brown to emulate R Budd Dwyer at the Downing Street press conference
Or next week’s PMQs.
Anyone got a white felt pen????
“Someone phoned the BBC a minute ago to say that her house had just been re-possessed and she was worried about the approaching recession crossing the Atlantic – Don’t worry it isn’t and anyway I can guarantee that the UK is well placed to survive if there was!”
Cabinet signs pledge to honour the Forces’ Covenant.
Gordy 4 obama 4ever
Signing up for Weight-Watchers.In his case the huge one above his head,due to fall from a great height next May.
So is this what I’ll have to do every two weeks at the dole office when the electorate wakes up?
look at the handwriting !! browns is all spikey jagged erratic disjointed as opposed the the flowing lines of the others
is there something in this, we should be told.
Hunk with big knob wanted for Ménage à trois – call Mandy on 09967 “bum me”.
Whereas the apemen had worshipped the mysterious monolith, Gordon and his mates scrawled graffiti on it.
Better not say anything about it. After all, I have been cowed by the Liebour spin machine that says that any criticism of McArse constitutes bullying re his bad eyesight.
Just like the way you are a racialist if you criticise Hussein Obama
Gordon Blair – whats wrong with that?
The Angel wrote and varnished.
Big envelope! Now! Let’s see The Sun try and disparage this letter of condolence.
I left the USofA for this?!?!?!?!?!?!
I left the USofA for this?!?!?!?!?!
That should get them calling. Now, how do I get it into the phone box…
Hoo de yer speel Risignatin ,Rusygnatin,resegnitin,Resignation
Scientist teach an Ape to write like a human (But not very well)
Unelected PM signs the lisbon treaty.
Brown writes epitaph on his tombstone.
BANKSY’S TRUE IDENTITY REVEALED !
“Gordon Bennett – I’ve done it again…………….”
“Geedo is a nesty bustard”
Purple. puerile prose by Gordon Brown
I hope that’s not a ethnic minority board your using, think of all those votes in Brixham
The newly recruited teacher says
“Ok, kids after me:
A is for Appel
B is for…Oh Bollox!”
“Fek urf you pathtik winker!”
(Not so much a caption, more my personal opinion)
G….O…..R er? er? D……O …N er? B…..R….er A er? er? W er N
BERLIN WENT WELL, STASI NOW THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA.
Laughs and gaffes courtesy of your feckless leader. What will you do for giggles when he’s gone?