November 12th, 2009

Guido Killed the Lobby Star

guido killed the lobby starThe PMOS, Simon Lewis, and the chairman of the Lobby, Jean Eaglesham, yesterday announced that the system of Downing Street Lobby briefings is to be reviewed  “in light of the changes in the reporting of the work of government in an increasingly fast-moving and on-line media world”.  On hearing the news Guido – enjoying a two bottle lunch since PMQs was delayed – paraphrased  lyrics from the Buggles hit on Twitter in celebration.

A working group of six lobby hacks and five government spin doctors is going to come up with recommendations to be implemented next year. No one from the fast-moving online media world is on the working group. Guido has made his views about the Westminster embedded client media that constitutes the Lobby system clear over the years (see Newsnight and The Times). The meek acceptance of non-attributable briefings, often of questionable truth, is hardly helpful to the functioning of an open democracy. This method of information distribution is glorified as “on Lobby terms”.

Comical AliFriends of Mandy have spun the Guardian the idea that the Dark Lord himself should give twice weekly televised briefings* in a new information minister role.  The prospect of Comical Mandy batting off questions from the Lobby has some appeal.  It will all be a pantomime until the clubby culture of the Lobby changes.

*Guido has long supported televised Lobby briefings, ask yourself why is it that Lobby hacks oppose televising them?


  1. 1
    Throbber says:

    It’s a stitch up, they are trying to shut Guido and thus all of us, great unwashed out. Once again these new labour vermin are trying to “control the narrative”.

  2. 2

    Minister of Information?

    Eurasia has always been at war with Eastasia

  3. 3
    Alistair Watson says:

    Mandy – Minister of TROOF

  4. 4
    Doc Trough says:

    Friends of Mandy have spun the Guardian the idea that the Dark Lord himself should give twice weekly televised briefings* in a new information minister role.

    “Good afternoon everyone. I’m Scott McLellan. Just think of me as an old sweat.

  5. 5
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    With nulabour it has always been about control and spin.

  6. 6
    Throbber says:

    Was wondering the same thing….

  7. 7
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    To the same place I wish Brown go, up in smoke.

  8. 8
    Road_Hog says:

    I’d just like to congratulate Labour on winning today’s Glasgow NE by-election by a margin of 50,000 postal votes.

  9. 9
    Nobody loves you when you are Brown and out says:

    Brown and Mandelson

    At least Hitler and Goebbels had the grace to commit suicide in THEIR bunker.

  10. 10
    Reichsführer für Peoples Enlightenment says: says:

    Please note my new address, commensurate with my new position and like myself, very grand:

    1 Mincing Lane

  11. 11
    hesanuglybugger says:

    Guido, PLEASE get rid of that Wayne Rooney thingy at the bottom.

  12. 12
    Throbber says:

    Seems some moderation shennanigans going on!
    Hey ho.

  13. 13
    Road_Hog says:

    It’s all about control, it’s bloody scary.

  14. 14
    jgm2 says:

    Comical Mandy, Winston Shit, Lord Goebbels or some other Lord Haw Haw-based parody? It’s important to be clear what the generally accepted term for the Maximum Imbeciles new Minister for Lies and Misinformation will be.

    Otherwise we’ll simply revert to the generic term of c’unts or chumps and confusion may arise.

  15. 15
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    Its Twilight Zone on here this morning the link is back and all is well back here in Guidoland.

  16. 16

    It’s almost as if Lord Voldemort-Mandlebum has got his malign hands upon Guido’s tiller

    Hold me: I’m scared

  17. 17
    And for my next spin.... says:

    Next, Mandelson will be getting an operation to attach a club foot and then adopt 6 blond children to keep down in the bunker……

  18. 18
    Brown's a Tosser says:


  19. 19
    Winston Smith says:

    That news is embargoed until 2am.

  20. 20
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    Because its probably going to be true.

  21. 21
    A medical term says:


  22. 22
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    Mandy trying to help Royal Mail revenues again.

  23. 23
    Gordon Brown stole my pension says:

    Oh, is that who it is?

  24. 24
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    Don’t forget the one Blue Eye.

  25. 25
    Brown's a Tosser says:


  26. 26
    Gordon Brown stole my pension says:

    Is that one of Camoron’s ‘cast iron’ promises?


  27. 27
    Sukyspook says:

    So joining the dots then:

    “Lord Mandelson tipped as EU Information Minister”

    “New leadership needed to give EU key GLOBAL* role, says Mandelson”

    Business secretary says personalities as well as politics will have key role in giving union ‘meaningful’ status on world stage, *Friday 6 November 2009 14.18 GMT

    (*my emphasis-spook)

    Mandlesnake is enabling the ongoing and (not so) covert handover to the EUSSR and this change in ZNL info policy is merely dissolving the UK as we see our freedoms and what once masqueraded as demockery disappearing like the White Cliffs of Dover over the horizon…

    Only one word necessary. TREASON.

  28. 28
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    Nulabour trolls have hacked into Guidoland. Be afraid!

  29. 29
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    I thought it was Shrek.

  30. 30
    Anonymous says:

    Peter Mandelson as Minister For Information? Parody is unnecessary.

  31. 31
    Sukyspook says:

    I agree – but it’s not ZNL who are driving the agenda – they’re just the ‘vehicle’, for now.

  32. 32
    Unsworth says:

    Club sandwich?

  33. 33
    The wait is on says:

    Will that be an 18 week waiting list or just the normal “next day” for a Minister of Devious Lies?

  34. 34
    jgm2 says:

    Slightly O/T

    There was a program on BBC last night called ‘The Armistice’. It was actually a potted history of WWI with more attention than normal paid to the German Generals Ludendorf and Hindenburg. It seems that Ludendorf was a meticulous micro-manager who eventually positioned himself to be de-facto ruler of Germany. It seems also that he lived in a bubble of sychophants, panicked easily and made rash decisions which he was then too stubborn to countermand.

    It seems too that when he might have negotiated an armistace from a position of strenght he overplayed his hand militarily and was eventually forced to accept unconditional surrender.

    The Cambridge Professor guy actually made the comparison to ‘some Prime Ministers’.

    Watching the critique of Ludendorf it was as if some giant cosmic comedian had reached into the bowels of Hell, resurrected him and given him to John and Bunty Brown in 1951 just for the sheer entertainment of watching the jackass make the same mistakes all over again.

    He didn’t disappoint.

  35. 35
    Throbber says:

    Club Tropicana

  36. 36
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    GB: No you mean Iron Cast. No Iron Clad. No Ironing Board. No oh to hell with I’m to busy trying to fix the country for all this. And its time for my medication.

  37. 37
    Comical Mandy says:

    I made sure there was no postal strike week commencing 9th November

  38. 38
    Mr Brown says:

    Club Biscuit…..or not

  39. 39
    Carry On Don't Lose Your Head (1967) says:

    I picture Mandy now:

    “Their infidel Tories are committing suicide by the hundreds at the gates of Downing Street! Be assured, the Bunker is safe, protected!”

  40. 40

    Remorse letters- ready in advance.

    Deer Mrs {Insert name of mutha here}
    I is reely surley sawry sorry for the end of {insert name – check spellin} the ded kid.
    When i wroted the letters i got in sum bother andt I deeply regret the loss of The Sun.
    We are all fighting for piece, dumbocracy and the labour way and your boy/girl died a heroic death for whatever reason that wii are fighting four this week.
    Sorry again, and I wood have used a kleen piece of paper but its very late and i’m a bit blind and the dog’s gone out. She’s campaigning for me in Glasgow today.
    Lots of luv
    Broon Brown PM
    Strawberry jam
    1 doz eggs
    packet of biscuits – something chocolatey
    dog food
    magnifying glass
    { Euromillions ticket}

  41. 41
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    Could we put the whole Government in that “vehicle” and shove it off a very high cliff.

  42. 42
    Mr Ned says:

    Indeed! Signs are pointing to a new vehicle soon, a shiny new Cameron to carry the last of the British Sovereignty away to be sacrificed to his political masters.

    We have been witnessing a slow and deliberate treason take place with the full complicity of the entire establishment.

  43. 43
    nell says:

    Surely it will be the Minister for Disinformation.

    Apparently gordon thinks this is going to repair his image before the next GE.

  44. 44
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    What are the polls saying about this seat? Likely outcome?

  45. 45
    Sukyspook says:

    …and at least Hitler was (kind of) convincing as a ‘leader’. . .

  46. 46
    Sukyspook says:

    me too lololol

  47. 47
    jgm2 says:

    Forgot to mention – when it all went tits up for Ludendorf he blamed seditious elements for undermining the great German nation.

    That’ll be the yanks and the bankers then.

    Great program.

  48. 48
    WSH says:

    With our government determined to bring in laws to criminalise homophobia (and not before time!) all you sick gay-haters who post regularly on here had better watch out. Your nasty little homophobic sneers will not be tolerated any longer. You will be breaking the law and can expect a visit from the police.


  49. 49
    Doc Trough says:

    Job Club (bring your own pens – Pauline’s buggered off with fat Hermann).

  50. 50
    Sukyspook says:

    Club 18-30 – no doubt a favourite of Mandy’s <;0)

  51. 51
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    Club Tropicana Drinks are Free… That suits NuLabour troughers then.

  52. 52
    Dark Brown says:

    BROWN on BBC News Channel in a few minutes re IMMIGRATION

    No doubr to frighten the BandPean supporters voting today in Glasgae !

  53. 53
    Comical Mandy says:


    The crows are feasting on the bodies of our Tory enemies…

  54. 54
    Mitch says:

    The lobby has always been a cosy stitch-up. The establishment is now opening up to greater scrutiny? Yeah, right…..

  55. 55
    Dark Brown says:

    You say tomato – I say tomayto

    I say – shoot the Fecker Brown down down down

  56. 56
    Doc Trough says:

    Will they be wearing pink?

  57. 57
    The Sleeper says:


    So..The MoD has given it’s hard pressed staff almost £50million in bonuses.


    Our soldiers are dying…..

    We can’t afford more helicopters….

    Gordon Brown is hammering the Banks about bonuses…..

    Private sector Companies are going bust….

    Staff in the private sector that have jobs are not getting bonuses…..

    Normal people are losing their homes….

    The Country is the last one remaining in recession.

    Ah!….Labour IS working.

  58. 58
    Mike Naylor says:

    I’m no friend of Brown, but I don’t find this scary. Why don’t the right wing blogs give Brown the credit he deserves?

  59. 59
    PM says:

    The Inquisition = Wayne Rooney

  60. 60
    English Liberation Front says:

    The (civil service) Labour trolls don’t get into the office very early.

  61. 61
    TheCourtOfPublicOpinion says:

    OT, but I wonder if Ed Balls put in another claim of £33 for poppy wreaths this year, and how happy he is that it’s something we shall never forget?

  62. 62

    “Now even the Tory command is under siege. We are hitting it from the north, east, south and west. We chase them here and they chase us there. But at the end we are the people who are laying siege to them. And it is not them who are besieging us.”

    … as chunks of masonry fall about him through clouds of dust …

  63. 63
    South of the M4 says:

    Well, because he does not deserve any actually.

  64. 64
    Nobody loves you when you are Brown and out says:

    Funny – Brown always talks of his hatred for “personalities” in politics and here’s Goebbels ranting about the opposite!

  65. 65
    Doc Trough says:

    He looks suspiciously like Anne Robinson in that pic nell.

  66. 66

    They do. On a daily basis.

    Boom tsch

  67. 67
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    Going to moderation, I knew I should not have used the word Drinks and Free in the same sentence – is that a Guinness for you Guido?

  68. 68
    Nobody loves you when you are Brown and out says:

    and tutu’s?

  69. 69
    Anonymous says:

    who is wayne rooney?

  70. 70
    A. Schicklgruber says:

    Ein Volk, Ein Reich… Ein Gordon? Doesn’t have quite the same ring to it, does it?

  71. 71
    Dark Brown says:

    Verrrry interesssting

  72. 72
    Gordon's latest initiative says:

    Gordon’s latest cunning plan is now to make all future nurses to go to one of his plastic Uni’s and borrow 30 grand from him before they can go change a bed pan or fluff up a pillow.

    What’s wrong with the present system of traing Nurses in house and paying them?

  73. 73
    jgm2 says:

    Labour hold.


    The polls show it and recent Scottish results show that you can add 10% to any Labour majority predicted in the polls.

    I’m sure the folk of Glasgow NE will want to reafirm their belief in a party that has held the seat for 80 years, governed the city for 80 years and rewards its loyal voters with a lower life expectancy than the good folk of Chad. I reckon if the Tories want to do well in Glasgow they’re going to have to promise to lower their life expectancy even further. It seems to be what motivates the Labour vote up there.

    Aye, Labour are shit. But if you vote for us we promise we’ll be even shitter. You’ll die of alcoholism in your 20’s instead of your 30’s. Aye and we’ll issue all your kids with their own set of knives when you register their birth. Aye, and we’ll make the schools even shitter so you learn fuck all except the jaundiced class-war ridden shit you love to suck up. Because we’ve listened and we know what you want.

    The Tories are just going to have to steal Labour’s clothes if they want to do well in Scotland. The trouble is I think the SNP have beaten them to it.

  74. 74
    The IMF are coming says:

    SNP conceding Labour win

  75. 75

    ‘If I can come back – Then TONY can come back’

  76. 76
    nell says:

    I thought if we put him in an Iraqi army uniform and gave him a beret he could do a fair take on comical ali!

  77. 77
    Mike Naylor says:

    somebody will win

  78. 78
    PM says:

    A Lembit Opik lookalike.

  79. 79
    Anonymous says:

    Get out more….

  80. 80
    Oxymoron says:

    Mandelson the minister for truth?

  81. 81
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    Some Football geezer who likes mature women or so I’m told.

  82. 82
    Nobody loves you when you are Brown and out says:

    Brown looking even worse since Tuesday’s press conference!

    And now;

    a complete U turn on our last 12 years policy.

  83. 83
    Road_Hog says:

    This was Michael Martin’s old seat and he had about a 10,000 majority, the last article I read reckoned that Labour would retain it with about a 2,500 majority. I haven’t seen any polls recently.

    Labour want to win this one by the amount of people they have sent up there,

    Gordon Brown
    Sarah Brown
    Harriet Harman
    Alistair Darling
    Lord Adonis
    Douglas Alexander

  84. 84
    John and Bunty says:

    Isnae anything to do wi’ us…

  85. 85
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    I wish I’d have thought of that before you – much funnier.

  86. 86
    Six Dinner Sid says:

    I’m no friend of Brown ‘cos he’s a nasty piece of work.

  87. 87
    Florence says:

    because doing a job for it’s own rewards isn’t enough. Everything now has to be super-special and over-promoted. It’s the modern way.

  88. 88
    TheCourtOfPublicOpinion says:

    There are many, many pensioners in the UK who actually do have to choose between heating and eating. As winter approaches lack of either will kill many. They fought through wars to make the country a better place.

    The £400 no questions *extra* “food” allowance which MP’s trough alone would cover both.

  89. 89
    SHIT IS BROWN says:

    I wouldn’t let that slime ball arse bandit near any children !

  90. 90
    Cassandra King says:

    Just wait until Cameron walks into No10 after the next election(?) one of his first acts will be to employ a certain Peter Mandelson in a top position in the next Tory administration. Of course it will not be CMDs idea rather the orders will come from Camerons new overlord bosses in Brussels, the EU bosses call the shots and their regional toadies like Cameron will salute and obey without question!

    The new PM will be nothing more than a cardboard cutout puppet with the strings pulled from Brussels, I cannot wait to see the looks on the faces of the legions of Tory voters when the real actual truth emerges about Cameron and his gang of fools/traitors/crooks/quislings/liars/charletons, when the penny drops that they have pinned their hopes on a cardboard cutout quisling of the new forth EU Reich.
    Dave will actually make Brown look decisive, bold,patriotic and courageous!

  91. 91
    Immigration U Turn says:

    Brown “gets it”!!!


  92. 92
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    They’re Great. I have always like Frosties pleased to see Tony is making a return.

  93. 93
    Six Dinner Sid says:

    So..The MoD has given it’s hard pressed staff almost £50million in bonuses.

    Its the right thing to do.

  94. 94

    Man on the Clapham Omnibus said:

    “Hold me: I’m scared”

    Care for a reach around?

  95. 95
    Anonymous says:

    Did Brown say he did not need the Mortgage protection schemes yesterday at PMQ?

    And today BBC reports: “homes repossessed rose 3%”

    Obviously they are the non-labour voters.

  96. 96
    Comical mandy says:

    I like Willie a lot

  97. 97
    Time to leave says:

    Exactly – so every Nurse will leave “University” with a £30,000 debt,earn the same low wage and be forever in a debt regime.

    They will simply give them more work and responsibility on the same wages.

  98. 98
    Doc Trough says:

    He is well off his box this morning. Sounds like his tongue is swollen.

  99. 99
    Sukyspook says:

    Don’t forget that in OrwellSpeak, everything is reversed:

    Black is white
    Up is down
    Truth is . . . .

    This is how ‘they’ve’ got away with it all thus far.

  100. 100

    Labour = Pantomime Democracy.

  101. 101
    Cassandra King says:

    Oooooh get you ducky, well shut that door!

  102. 102
    Sukyspook says:

    I believe Mandy will already be installed as EU Information Minister by the time Davey enters No 10 – and of course, the EU takes **’legal’ presedence over the UK. Cameron obviously knows this.

    SACK EM ALL NOW I say because they’ll all be redundant eventually anyway – if we let this treason continue.

    (**it might be ‘legal’ – but is it lawful?)

  103. 103
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    Surprising that the SNP are not doing better. Clearly shows how stupid they truly must be north of the border. Still come May they can have GB back and they are welcome to him.

  104. 104
    Dark Brown says:

    When did the words MIGRATION & IMMIGRATION become interchangeable ??

    Migration is softer than IMMIGRATION / IMMIGRANT

  105. 105
    Cheese Lover says:

    So that’s an automatic party political broadcast on behalf of the Labour party every week. I do hope the opposition parties are given the equivalent.

  106. 106
    jgm2 says:

    The trouble is they’ll spend three years in a plastic Uni learning theory and racial awareness and writing structured essays on diversity issues and learn absolutely nothing about the practicalities of being a nurse. Indeed they’ll only visit hospitals in the same way that school children visit the theatre to see a Shakespeare play.

    They will then emerge with their shiny certificate and consider themselves too fucking good to do any of an actual nurses donkey work. They’ll be only happy when they’re taking blood pressure or handing out pills. All the bed-pans and bedding and all the actual nursing work will be being done by agency nurses from the Philippines.

    It’s already happening.

  107. 107
    Time to leave says:

    Brown now making a complete U turn – the cynical rants of an unelected Scottish nonentity representing a Scottish constituency in an English Parliament while Scotland has it’s own Parliament.


  108. 108
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    Your right and its shameless.

  109. 109

    Cum along quietly now.

  110. 110
    jgm2 says:

    The SNP are not doing better because in order to steal the Labour vote they had to promise even more free shit using magic money they don’t have. Now that the free shit hasn’t materialised under Salmond the lumpen doletariate have gone home to mummy.

    It’s a fucking awful place.

  111. 111
    Anonymous says:

    badum tish

  112. 112
    Dark Brown says:

    Yeth – it sthathed in Hamerecha

  113. 113
    Sukyspook says:

    Indeed Mr Ned, indeed – and whilst I’m not proud of all the slaughter the UK has been involved in over the centuries, I was once proud, in the 60’s, 70’s and early 80’s – TILL THATCHER ‘did’ for the press – to be British with it’s fine morals, compassion and empathy for others and which still offered a future – especially for our children.

    The global elite’s wet-dream of a ‘global village’ is, in reality, nothing but a global ghetto…

  114. 114
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    Its right for Britain and its right for the economy. Sure it is.

  115. 115
    1800 Cunliffe-Arsely says:

    They’re fairly standard human failings that can easily surface.
    Some of those failings are even positively selected for by “politics”.

  116. 116
    The Sleeper says:

    “Home Secretary Alan Johnson told GMTV that MoD civilians did “difficult and sometimes dangerous” jobs. ”

    Well that’s OK then….50000 staff get bonuses for doing difficult and dangerous work shuffling paper clips.

    Makes me sick that these incompetent fools don’t understand the real world,or can read the mood of the Nation.

  117. 117
    Time to leave says:

    Oh God – he’s gurning a la You Tube video – cannot watch him anymore.

  118. 118
    Mitch says:

    Al-Beeb reporting the average payment is £1,000. So are there 50,000 people in the MOD on a bonus scheme?

    Or in fact do SOME staff get much, much more?

  119. 119
    Sukyspook says:

    “… as chunks of masonry fall about him through clouds of dust …”

    “chunks of MASONRY fall about him…..” – I like that idea.

  120. 120
    Cassandra King says:

    The only place Mandelson is going after newlabours destruction at the GE is straight into a senior position with the Tory regime, does anyone think that Mandelson will sneak of into obscurity when newlabour dies?
    Mandelson is the EUSSR enforcement and compliance commissar for the UK, his job is to oversee the elected puppets of the EUSSR and make sure that every action of the next puppet quisling regime is in total compliance with the wishes of our new overlords.
    I happen to know for a fact that Mandelson is even now dictating to Cameron the terms of his new employment, all you Tories are in for the shock of a lifetime after the next GE, Dave only needs your vote just the once and then you will be betrayed and discarded like so much trash.

  121. 121
    Anonymous says:

    Because less people will take that route, and we will have a shortage of nurses so we will need more from abroad. Simple.

    First he hit the plumbers with gas license. Then they tried for the water regulations act. Then the sparkies needed a licensing scheme. Then he let H&S go berserk on all other trades using ladders.

    Basically he made sure that it was useless to be time served. All that counted was the certificate and yearly fee. Handed out willy nilly by agencies.

    OH dear, so now no UK person wants to be a criminal and work outside the law. Instead we will import some temporary workers to fill the gap. They get immediate qualification as they say they are trained overseas. What could be wrong with that.

  122. 122
  123. 123
    PM says:

    “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

    (c) 2005 Michael Howard

  124. 124
    jgm2 says:

    You forgot

    ‘Squandering is investment’
    ‘War is Peace’
    ‘Bust is boom’
    ‘Maladroit is incompetence’
    ‘Prudence is ban*r*pcy’
    ‘Freedom is 90 Day detention without trial’

  125. 125
    Mitch says:

    Hopefully they are the ‘M.P. couple’ being asked to py back £100k.

  126. 126
    The Sleeper says:


    “We are taking action against employers who employ illegal immigrant workers”

    Errrrrr…Baroness Scotland?????

  127. 127
    backwoodsman says:

    And we need one MOD bod to every two forces personnel. A truly mind bogling over allocation of backroom resources.

  128. 128
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    I will not be visiting any time soon jgm2 you have put pay to that! Sounds as though Salmond is roaming in the gloaming.

  129. 129
    Cowboy says:

    and bushy moustaches?

  130. 130
    Bounty Hunter says:

    Why are the pen pushers paid a Bonus for merely doing the job they are paid to do?

    Perhaps they could pay soldiers a bounty for every Taliban scalp they bring back?

  131. 131

    I hav writ a phew letters in advance now.

    Dear mrs insert name and check speling
    i am really surley that your ded kid has died?
    it is a great shame but when u r fighting four freedpom and dumbocracey then mishaps can occur.
    i woas really really upset when i herd about the loss of The Sun.
    again, it is a grate shame, but i’ll get over it.
    i wood have used a clean piece of paper but i am nearly blind and the dog’s gone out.
    She is campaioning for me in glassgow today.
    cheers mate
    love Gordon brown PM
    1 pack of sugar
    doz eggs
    Daily mirror
    euromillions lottery ticket

  132. 132
    Anonymous says:

    Yep those polished granite floors can be very dangerous if you fall on them.

  133. 133
    jay says:

    I’m a Christian or a Muslim, surely my rights to believe that homosexuals must burn in hell should be respected?
    Or is PCism just for a select designate group?
    PC will eat itself, but before that, fools like you will be tied up by increasingly conflicting bullshit.

  134. 134
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    Parody shotgun more like.

  135. 135
    Where's the exit? says:

    Blimey – just paused the shot of Brown picking up his speech papers – the font is huge.

    An average of 4 or 5 words per line.

    He’s going to need to call this election within 6 months time or he won’t be able to see the exit sign at Downing St.

  136. 136

    Ooh, give me 10 minutes or so: I’m in a recovery period

  137. 137
    Putin says:


    Impairment charges = bad debt
    The right thing to do = I have no clue what else to do
    In good faith = well,technically it was a crime but I didn’t mean it

  138. 138
    barefootcontessa says:

    Secretly thay want to have peasants running around doing all the dirty work that nurses inevitably have to do now. They’ll be saving money. Compassion out the window. Nurses will be able to demand more pay, viz less nurses, more skivvys .

  139. 139
    Engineer says:

    Inspector, “Constable Humphreys, are you free?”

    Constable (mincing rapidly across room), “I’m free!”

  140. 140
    Builder says:

    We also had an absurd body – FENSA – (which sounds like it regulates receivers of stolen property) created to supervise window fitters. Anyone working in the trade has to pay a fee and wait ages to be ‘authorised’ and they have to issue totally meaningless certificates to householders after each job. The customer then has to safeguard this scrap and produce it if they are trying to sell their property!

    Plus our wise government has changed the law so that the common areas of blocks of flats are now designated as ‘workplaces’. This compels those living in flats to waste their money having fire risk and asbestos assessments undertaken. Naturally the real fire risk is within flats and very slight in the common spaces – plus the only major recent fire in a block of flats took place on Council-owned property – naturally they’re exempt from this red tape.

  141. 141
    barefootcontessa says:

    Stasi is now reality.

  142. 142
    Putin says:

    I’m no friend of Mike Naylor, but do let him spout bovine scatology please.

  143. 143
    jgm2 says:

    My brother (a qualified nurse of the old school and TA paramedic) worked as a medic on a rig offshore Angola. The local Angolan economy is in the shitter and the locals decided it was unfair these foreign medics taking ‘their’ jobs so they raised shit with the government.

    It seemed that all rig medics would now have to be doctors since they were paid more than Angolan doctors. However this was not quite the problem it might at first seem because his company (major US oilco) was approached by none other than the professor of medicine at Luanda university who made it clear that for a consideration of a mere 5000USD per medic he would give them all full-on medical degrees from the university of Luanda. Genuine fucking certificates, results in the books fucking medical degrees signed off by the guy in charge.

    I shit you not.

    He would, according to the books and be a frikkin doctor. He could have come back to the UK and doubled his salary overnight with that piece of paper. And he’d do a better job than most of the fuckers too – but that’s not the point.

    UK nurses have to compete and cope with the outcome of that kind of shit every day in the UK. This is the reality of the NHS. No wonder the ‘real’ nurses are quitting in droves leaving the homegrown plastic nurses with their hands-off approach to nursing and the dodgily certified foreign nationals to it.

    It’s completely fucked. Massively over-manned, over-managed and completely fucked.

  144. 144
    Anonymous says:

    Their favourite author understands the Ministry of Information to be a “beaucratic hellhole of dark hallways lined with towering shelves”

    I love it when reality copies fiction, and the Dark Lord does all he can to get into the Ministry of Information.

  145. 145
    Engineer says:

    If you’re a Muslim, that’s OK.
    If you’re a Christian, please hand yourself in to the nearest Police station for instant arrest, trial and imprisonment.

  146. 146
    barefootcontessa says:

    You forgot the packet of Tunnocks’ Snowballs.

  147. 147
    Not long till labour gone says:

    and the home office chose this day to tell the country that it would be keeping DNA profiles of innocent people for 6 years, in the hope this news would get buried under the Armistice day coverage. Bastards!

  148. 148
    A product of a modern education system says:

    At the end of the day, it is all completely irrelevant – it’s a smokescreen to hide the fact that the various EU treaties that One Eyed Gay McBrown signed away all their powers.

    I found this story which puts it all in perspective.

    The entire Tory economic package for the next 5 years have already been targeted and some parts already approved by the EU – they want 60% public debt to GDP by 2014 – does it matter who is in power here? – of course not – but you can Twitter about who is sleeping with who to your hearts content if it helps hide the real power brokers! :)

  149. 149
    The IMF is coming says:

    I am at a complete loss as to how a Civil servant can be incentivised to earn a bonus?

    If they were an ex gratia payment for doing something outwith contrct of employment then marginally ok, but a bonus??

    Budget saving – don’t think so. Sorry still can’t think of anything

  150. 150
    barefootcontessa says:

    I’m no friend of Mike Taylor, …… lui deteste.

  151. 151
    Road_Hog says:

    There are 85,000 MOD civil servants, 50,000 of which are on the bonus scheme. Senior civil servants get £8,000 (on average).

  152. 152
    Where's the exit? says:

    Exactly – the winner gets ignored and the loser gets a special certificate for doing so well given their terrible circumstances – how else can a Prime Minister get away with the appalling scrawled rubbish he sent to a bereaved mother?

    The criminal is the victim

    The victim is the criminal

    WELCOME to Brown’s Broken Britain.

  153. 153
    Doc Trough says:

    We come from the land of the ic and now
    From the idnig sun where the ho spri blo…….

  154. 154
    Engineer says:

    Cropped hair, Doc Martens and tattoos? (The women – obviously.)

  155. 155
    Anonymous says:

    I see that, in a last desperate fling, Sarah Brown has got her tits out (pic in Mail). Greater love hath no wife etc etc…..

  156. 156
    solopolis says:

    It’s not ZanuLiebour you need to be watching. The New Labour project has been a device to create smoke and mirrors.

    Look at how quickly Blair dropped New Labour as soon as it outlived its purpose.

  157. 157
    Moley says:

    Been banned from the BBC for posting sixty times a day?

    Close the door on your way out.

  158. 158
    Engineer says:

    Forget ABOUT him. Let’s have ON him, please.

  159. 159
  160. 160
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    More spin and misinformation. 50,000 people in MoD departments. I can see some clear evidence for public spending cuts.

  161. 161
    Engineer says:

    And the polls promptly register a 2-point dip for Labour…

  162. 162
    Anonymous says:

    I assume the argument that without the bonuses they would all become paper pushers for a mercenary army must have been used.

    What exactly was the bonus targets? The cost savings only killed 5% more troops.

    Imagine WWII and you got bonuses for finishing building a Spitfire on time. We are either fighting a war, or this is normal. You can not have it both ways.

  163. 163

    Can someone pull Gordo out of a dirty hole and then hang him?

  164. 164
    The Sleeper says:

    Ah..some civil service union bod is explaining that the recipients are mostly working alongside troops in a war theatre…tens of thousands of them.

    “we’re very comfortable with that”..said shop steward.

    Um….9200 troops in Afganistan….50000 MoD staff alongside them……

    Yep..I can buy that.

    Fucking cretin!

  165. 165
    War Inc. says:

    The Viceroy is speaking to you from an undiclosed location…

  166. 166
    Anonymous says:

    MPs should be forced to go to a plastic university, incur a £30,000 debt and emerge with a useless piece of paper before they’re allowed to sit in parliament on mimimum wage.

  167. 167
    Engineer says:

    That’s what I like about this blog. The insightful, intelligent political comment and incisive wit.

  168. 168
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    Have to agree just do not get it. They should be thankful they are still in a job. Or should I say jobsworth.

  169. 169
    Sir Trev Skint says:

    Was the seat contested? I was under the impression that under an all party agreement no one contests the speakers seat.

  170. 170
    Bongo says:

    Minister for Poofs.
    Ooooh missis.

  171. 171
    Engineer says:

    Wouldn’t have made any difference. They were “in and counted” weeks ago.

  172. 172
    Number 7 says:

    Yep – He’s launching a blind side attack again!

    Meddlebum prefers an up and under.

  173. 173
    jay says:

    Either, you have free speech for even those you despise or you do not have free speech at all.
    Criminalising homophobia immediately all ‘non-homosexuals’ small minded bigots incapable of thinking the ‘right way’.

  174. 174
    Anonymous says:

    Yes – it’s the new way that we are training doctors. Look into it – you’ll be scared shitless.

  175. 175
    jay says:

    ^————- “declares”

  176. 176
    Anonymous says:

    All potential MP’s should be forced to attend a plastic university, incur a £30,000 debt and leave with a useless piece of paper before being allowed to sit in parliament on minimum wage.

  177. 177
    Ian Dales says:

    HAHAHA a man writes poorly and that is such an unusual situation I shall comment on it

  178. 178
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    Yes, when he is speaker but he got booted out. Now in the Lords troughing as usual.

  179. 179
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    You can skip the trial bit.

  180. 180
    solopolis says:

    Of course not.

    No point in getting to work early, they’d have nothing to do in the afternoon otherwise!

  181. 181
    Nurse Bell says:

    You can say that again. Ding dong.

  182. 182
    Richie Benaud says:

    Welcome to a drizzly Westminster this morning.
    Number 10 was very angry yesterday with the Sun in his eye. He blamed the opposition.
    Consequently the Number 1 spinner, Mandy has made the TV deal pie in the Sky and the ashes of the deal has gone to the B team.

    Expect some play like this

  183. 183
    Yard Arm says:

    Saw that too and got the ref. to some Prime Ministers. The big difference between Ludendorff and Brown is that until he cracked Ludendorff was actually quite good at his job unlike the Prime Hoonister who combines the utility of an ashtray on a motorbike with the panache of a fart in a space suit. A ‘ man ‘ who has been good for fuck all ever since his Uni trick of going to parties with a carrier bag of bricks and empties.

    Bricks and empties: a summary of his economic ruin. And was his mother really called Bunty ? Bunty ? The mum`s called Bunty and the son`s a c`unty.

  184. 184
    Andy says:

    Er, he’s not the Speaker any more…

  185. 185
    Sid James says:


  186. 186
    Wayne Rooney says:

    Surely ‘maladroit is incompetence’. Isn’t it?

  187. 187
    Doc Trough says:

    I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t have the google pixellate his ‘properties’ on Earth – like Cheney did.

  188. 188
    Rip Van Winkle says:

    Said all along – the Lobby and the political press IS the problem. Politicians, for all the ages, are deceitful, spin machines who dole out questionable ‘facts’ and ‘figures’.

    Difference now is. who the fuck is putting the difficult questions to these scumbags? Anywhere? Anyone? Sure, Toenails does as he’s told, so does the whole of Aljabeeba. But there’s a whole mass media out there that can bring this whole lying edifice down overnight.

    But where are they?

  189. 189
    Mark Oaten says:

    Occupational hazard. It does go back down after a while.

  190. 190
    I'll have some of that says:

    At the fcoming out of The Sun, every morning
    We will remember him….

  191. 191
    Anonymous says:

    The news that inquests have been replaced by secret inquiries in certain cases has also been buried.

  192. 192
    Herr E Bottom says:

    At least the trains ran, and on time, unlike under this Braun Reich..

  193. 193
    Anonymous says:

    Yep, my uncle a time-served but certificateless electrician spends most of his day on site showing certificated electricians how to change a plug.

  194. 194
    streamfisher says:

    Gordon stood up and lied in the house of commons (nothing unusual about that you may say) about Obama imminently deploying more troops to Afghanistan, it was subsequently stated by a Whitehouse spokesman that no decision had been made and any decision taken would be weeks away. Government spin merchant: “Gordon was talking in the vernacular”.

    Chambers Dictionary definition…
    vernacular noun (usually the vernacular) the native language of a country or people, as opposed to a foreign language that is also in use.

    Methinks the foreign language of this lot is to tell the truth.

  195. 195
    tat says:

    I would hang that c’unt in a heartbeat. As long as a court authorised it ofcourse.

  196. 196
    Under a flower pot at the bottom of the garden until that c'nt brown calls the General Election says:

    And the bottle of buckie.

  197. 197
    Sir William Waad says:

    “Patron: ….a wretch who supports with insolence, and is paid with flattery.” (Johnson) – it’s the same relationship between senior pols and the Lobby.

  198. 198
    tat says:

    the MOD staff who received these bonuses received them for cutting military budgets.
    so the MOD public servants have directly profited from the deaths of British soldiers.
    so we have moved beyond rewarding public servants for failure and we are now paying them to kill our troops. the MOD payments are death bonuses.
    ’tis blood money.

  199. 199
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Promise you a referendum = fuck off you low life parasites

    lower taxes = less wages in your pocket

  200. 200
    jgm2 says:

    Wayne, yeeeees, but in the same sense that

    ‘economic-with-the-actualite’ is ‘bare-faced-lie’.

    They’re euphamisms designed to down-play or obfuscate the truth. Or lies as a rational jury would term them. They’re designed to mislead. They are lies.

  201. 201
    cworrr says:

    I like those sexy Filipinas though.

  202. 202
    Trev says:

    The Government is becoming a 3-ring circus.

    Televising the Lobby, especially with mandy in charge will just be a music hall turn.

    Any general televising of briefings will just push the real briefings into the back rooms (smoke-free rooms?). The televised briefings will just be propaganda events for the govt.

  203. 203
    Sir William Waad says:

    My Mum would have said to the Lord High Everything Else “Peter, you’re so sharp, you’ll cut yourself.” So he has, of course, but he keeps being patched up. One day I hope it will prove politically fatal.

  204. 204
    Furious Capitalist says:

    Lets lock people up for long enough to bankrupt the country but more importantly damage the individual to such a degree that they cannot function in society and are more dangerous too us once they are let out. Infact why don’t we just copy the USA in everything they do and then crime will be Ten times worse per head of population, what a great idea to keep the Police and the Criminal justice system costing the Tax payer and businesses their shirts

  205. 205
    Hang The Bastards says:


  206. 206
    Anonymous says:

    I’m fed up with looking at that gormless fuckers fat face.

  207. 207
    Emma Royd says:

    I have it on very good authority, that Lord Fondlebum of Boy is to become the new EU Commisioner for Uphill Gardening. It is reported that he has the best dibber since Alan Titchmarsh.

  208. 208
    tat says:

    don’t bother with the comedy stuff engineer.
    you’re just not funny mate.

  209. 209
    Sukyspook says:

    I can’t believe that any so called “government” department actually gets a bonus – my Dad, Mum and I worked in the civil service over the years and there was NEVER a bonus between us…

    Unless this has something to do with the ongoing covert privatization of “government” depts a la MOD/Qinetiq deal in 2001 – Qinetiq were ‘taken over’ shortly after by the ‘C’ Group – ask John Major for details.

  210. 210
    Furious Capitalist says:

    Yep that is the idea to stop them going on strike.

  211. 211
    Bee Pee calling says:

    What about Brazilian male “nurses”?

  212. 212
    Grandaughter of the Regiment says:

    Somewhat off topic but I got in rather late yesterday and watched a recording of the Daily Politics/PMQs. Did I really hear Ben Bradshaw remark, apropos of the Brown/Janes/Sun debacle – which let us remind ourselves concerns the death of a young soldier in a war sanctioned by the PM – that we have got to the stage where someone’s cat can’t be run over without Gordon Brown being blamed?

  213. 213
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Look at Millibands Wikipedia page !

  214. 214
    tat says:

    incorrect ACO: labour = elective dictatorship.

  215. 215
    Sir William Waad says:

    Will they take a course in Handwashing or will that be part of the optional Ph D course?

  216. 216
    grrr says:

    Not to mention these daft Energy Assessments when you go to sell your house. Not one person has asked me about them with the houses I’ve sold. never. Useless waste of money.

  217. 217
    1800 Cunliffe-Arsely says:

    In WW2 if the factory didnt produce the spitfires quickly enough, it got nationalised.

  218. 218
    It's all Balls says:

    Why work for a living when you can deliver your daily quota of words by reproducing ‘Government fact sheets’ (an intended oxymoron).

  219. 219
    Moley says:

    I can’t remember the title of the oily creep in the Arabian Nights type stories who always “advised” the King and eventually managed to take his place/ assassinate
    the King’s only son/ forcefully marry the beautiful princess to a crony who is a loathsome toad, smear his opponents and have them banished/cast into jail etc.

    Was it Grand Vizier?

    Curved dagger in belt, colourful silk robes, turban with big ruby in front, pointed slippers with curled toes, Hain’s makeup and an oily smile.

    That’s Mandelson.

  220. 220
    Sukyspook says:

    Indeed TAT – blood money it is – and if we go waaaaay down the rabbit hole I believe that many would be HORRIFIED at just who is pulling strings and profiting from the “sacrifice” of our brave but mislead (imo) troops.

    It’s all truly despicable.

    Troops home now to defend us from this ongoing TREASON – pretty soon it just might be too late…

  221. 221
    Furious Capitalist says:

    Lets Pay the politicians more money and cut public services, infact lets give rises to all of the public services and the Government can over Tax and kill off any chance of commericial activity here in the UK. I am off to China, I think that communist State has a better handle of Capitalism than the Knackers we have running this lunatic asylum. Or why don’t we just all get a degree and then go on the DOLE,

  222. 222
    streamfisher says:

    A posit Sir Waad that you refer to Dr. Johnson the compiler of the first dictionary of the English language.

  223. 223
    Emma Royd says:

    There must be an ‘elf and safety’ dimension to it.

  224. 224
    Sukyspook says:

    It’s not the paper clips Sleeper – it’s those staples – SHEESH – and what about that sharp paper??
    Stationery = Satan’s tools – like the “guvmint” (you think I’m kidding??)

  225. 225
    Oxford Dick Shunry says:

    While you were off-planet, the comedy role of Speaker changed hands.

  226. 226
    Joe Public says:

    But when the come to fill their “Ethnic-Minority / Gender-Equality” quota, they’ll be stuffed thro’ a distinct shortage of male WASPs.

  227. 227
    jgm2 says:

    There’s the apocryphal tale from work of a chap having to go and get his dynamite-handling certification (seismic exploration – for the use of) for some fucking Shell job. They love their certificates the Cloggies.

    Anyway he finds himself in a room with a few other doodle-buggers and some pencil-necks from Shell and this 12 year-old is going on about dynamite handling and safety and the chap says

    ‘That’s a load of shit…’

    ‘And what’, asks the 12 year-old, ‘is your experience with explosives’?

    ‘Well, at the age of 18 I enlisted with the British Army and six weeks later they parachuted me into France with a rucksack full of explosives and destonaters where I spent two years demolishing railways and bridges, then after the war I got a job building roads through the rockies…quarries…mine clearance in Libya…seismic explorationetc etc‘.

    A full thirty year potted CV of explosives handling followed by…

    ‘….And what is your experience handling explosives?’

    Oh, how we laughed.

    But the joke is on all of us. Being patronized by plastic ‘experts’ with plastic ‘degrees’ enforcing regulation enacted by plastic ‘socialists’ with plasticine ideals.

  228. 228

    Biggest inversion of the truth?

    “He saved the economy”.


  229. 229
    Alastair Campbell says:

    You’ve taken this completely out of context. What he actually said was that the reason Gordon forgot to bow at the Centotaph was that Cameron was wearing someone else’s hat, and this was not the right thing to do, but Gordon still got the blame.

  230. 230
    Sukyspook says:

    Ask Mandy about Jacob Rothschild – that might give us a clue.

    Scroogle them on holiday – I’d post a jpg but I’d be modded again…. :0(

  231. 231
    Doc Trough says:

    The faux consultations will, as always, conclude that people are happy with that Trev. With these televised lobby briefings you are spoiling us Lordgrafvonfreiherrueberreichsinformationsschwuleraffenhaenger!

  232. 232
    Sukyspook says:

    What about “you’re so sharp you’ve obviously been sleeping in the knife drawer” Sir William! The old ones are still the best eh!

  233. 233
    Gordon Brown says:

    Wots a dikshunnery

  234. 234
    Gordon ( I AM a moron ) Brhoon says:

    If it’s ‘the right thing to do’, I always do it.

    Then I ‘get on with the job’

  235. 235
    jgm2 says:

    That wasn’t pixellation. that was shotgun damage to the satellite.

  236. 236
    RestandBthankful says:

    BBC Scotland spinning again. For the past few weeks it’s been reported that Michael Martin stepped down because of the expenses fiasco – since yesterday the spin is that he stepped down because of his move to the House of Lords!

    Is there a local election somewhere?

  237. 237
    Sukyspook says:

    Yah Solopolis, but Bliar would be back in a heatbeat if there was power and ££££$$$$ in it.

    Sold his soul – he and the rest of these shitforbrain types.

  238. 238
    Mr Ned says:

    Why just politically? I hope it will prove physically fatal for him.

  239. 239
    Oxford Dick Shunry says:

    Express: “Have your say is unavailable for this story”.
    He he….. I wonder why!

  240. 240
    streamfisher says:

    In your case a lexicon of lies.

  241. 241
    RestandBthankful says:

    BBC news broadcasters fawning over Mandlebum is sickening. Yesterday on BBC News – Sorry to keep you waiting Lord Mandelson, thank you for being so patient Lord Mandelson. ………………….. Pass me a sick bag.

  242. 242

    I’ve seen the term “Parody Singularity” used to describe events like this.

    So obscene, they are impossible to parody.

  243. 243
    Moley says:

    The bonus is for obeying orders however stupid, insane, illegal, immoral, and unethical they might be.

    Licking your line managers arse at every available opportunity.

  244. 244
    Sukyspook says:

    Funny you should say that Moley – I noticed a couple of years ago that the so called ‘leader’ is just the figurehead – it’s the ‘adviser’ or ‘enabler’ who has the power over the figurehead. Thoth/Hermes/Mercury/Aladdin/Mandy/Goebbels – all play the same ‘role’.

    Mandy’s ‘go-between’ (oooh matron) position is about to be enlarged by his being made EU Information Minister. He became ‘business secretary’ so he could more easily sell the British people out to his enabling bankster/corporations and likewise he’ll be doing this with what was the ‘United Kingdom’ in his next ‘role’.

    I wouldn’t pee on him if he was on fire – in fact I’d probably throw some wood on him for good measure, the evil, slimy, treacherous, snakeoil salesman.

  245. 245
    aswinsterstale says:

    I’ve just read the FT piece from the daily links regarding the brown/murdoch alleged “backlash”.
    What a load of crap, yeah there may be a backlash from the chattering classes, but it’s not thier sons bleeding to death, it’s ours.
    That tape is devastating on the street where I live, and on my street more people read the sun that the fucking FT.
    I accept that Murdoch will be aware of the tight line between a critic of brown and damaging the cause for a war he is probably in favour of, but brown advising murdoch, get real. m*rdoch maybe a prick but he certainly not a stupid prick

  246. 246
    Six Dinner Sid says:

    Are you trying to bore us to death?

  247. 247
    RestandBthankful says:

    Government planned on cutting TA training to save money. Today we hear that the very same Government have been giving MoD civil servants £45M in bonuses.

    Apparently we have just as many MOD civil servants as we have soldiers!!!!!!!

    In the meantime we wait and wait and wait to make a decision on troup numbers until Omaha makes a decision first.

    Labour = indecisive

  248. 248
    Anonymous says:

    I like the link to the real EU document. It seems we are being monitored for our own good. Why not erase any differences between the countries?

    That way we can all fail together! There is nothing like harmonization to cause oscillations. Autonomous different systems working together are much more stable.

    This is the recipe for real boom and bust.

  249. 249

    Spitfires were produced ONLY because the factory owner saw that the country would need them, the order from the MoD only came after the UK was attacked.

    MoD, shit since day one.

  250. 250
    Lord Mandelson Minister of Bullshit says:

    I would dispute all of that.

  251. 251
    RestandBthankful says:

    150,000 patients being given unnecessary anti psychotic medication resulting in 1,800 unnecessary deaths.

    A clinical director for dementia to be appointed – McDoom would be an ideal candidate!

  252. 252
    Sir William Waad says:

    The bonuses must be on the principle that if you can recruit ten more mouseclickers to the Ministry of Defence, you get a bonus, and if any of those mouseclickers can recruit further mouseclickers, you get a bonus based on their bonuses and so on…..

    It’s all part of the Socialist idea that you can base an economy on people sending each other emails and reporting back to the Enablement Steering Action Group for Across-The-Board Prioritization Goals on the matter of the Equality-Assessment Toolkit (Version 4.2).

  253. 253
    The Sleeper says:

    Never thought of it that way tat…

    That is what this Government has come to be….immoral,illogical,illicit….

    Just bloody sick!

  254. 254

    Who elected Gordo? Tony was going to “serve a full term”.

  255. 255
    Sir William Waad says:

    I’d rather do this:

  256. 256
    Chumley Warner says:

    Mandelson is just dead boring as a Politician – I think he would be far more interesting if he worked in a cheese shop – he could then wear some nice checked trousers and perhaps a purple beret

  257. 257

    Especially as due to the different cultures in the European peoples, one size fits NONE.

    It’s why the Euro is gradually killing the economies of Europe.

  258. 258
    Comical Mandy says:

    My minions must be busy on the comments pages this morning, none here so far.

    We know who you are, we’ve got your number

  259. 259

    I am not related to a Grand Vizier or even a TwentyGrand Vizier although that description ( oily creep, loathsome,smear ) is not exactly a million miles from what’s on my CV.

  260. 260
    Oxford Dick Shunry says:

    Not enough Spitfires in time, it got bombed.

  261. 261
    Felix says:

    I was sitting in the park yesterday watching some squirrels when I was trampled on by some type of Gruffalo.

    I just wish I knew who to blame.

  262. 262
    The Sleeper says:

    Yep..almost word for word.

    And,unbelievably..Toenails picked up on it and somewhat chastised him…

    Probably because he he cute enough to know that it was not ‘on message’ and that MSM might report the idiots comments.

  263. 263
    Six Dinner Sid says:

    Is it Brown paint?

  264. 264
    Gordons favourite Butt Plug says:

    “I’m no friend of Brown, but he pays my wages” type comments are getting to be very commonplace.

    Think that the BBC, MoD, and all the other useless spin doctors are out in force to try and move public sentiment back towards the Socialist Assimilation programme.

    The only problem they have is that the burden on the productive sector is now over the tipping point and we can’t afford this largesse any more.

    I would actually like Labour to have just one more term in office.

    We would then spiral into the Abyss, and socialism would be consigned to the dustbin forever.

    They actually have managed to not only spend everyone else’s money, but are now mortgaging everyone else’s future earning for at least 2 decades.

    The chosen one in the US, is also playing the same game.

    The biggest problem however is Pensions, pensions, pensions.

  265. 265

    You’re missing something there folks. Look to the last career – I won’t call it a profession – where this stunt was tried; teaching. They decided it must be an all graduate profession. Why? No real reason stated, as with the nurses. Just a bit of an esteem boost for teachers who, as we all know, tend to be a bit thick and not really capable of much else. But what happened then?

    Yes? You there at the back, speak up? THat’s right, teaching assistants happened then. Minimum wage mums intended – claimed – the be there to lighten the load who in fact are used by schools instead of trained and qualified teachers.

    Can you see where I’m going with this? Nursing assistants, nursing auxillaries, whatever they might be called – a way of getting 2nd class staff into frontline medical care, on the cheap.


  266. 266
    Richard I. Chavez says:

    Anybody who can support this half-strangled abortion of a government must have Brown’s syndrome.

  267. 267
    Obama is a twat says:

    The thought of seeing Toenails, Sir Michael Shite and Toilets Maguire arse licking Mandy makes me feel sick

  268. 268
    Bad Ali Campbell says:

    Don’t worry, boss, I’ve got them monitoring the Mail, Express, Sun and Telegraph – you know, the forces of Conservatism. Also got a couple on the Beeb as usual to help out our mates there. Don’t know where that little skiver Master Baiter has got to, probably drooling over that picture of you and Gordon again. I’ll kick his backside when he shows up.

  269. 269
    tat says:

    the labour party rules that allowed gordon to stand are a part of the elective dictatorship that the political parties have knowingly and willingly conspired to bring into being.
    google Lord Hailsham, he is the man who coined the phrase elective dictatorship.
    and he was bang on the money.

  270. 270
    1800 Cunliffe-Arsely says:

    I was on about the castle bromwich factory.

  271. 271
    Anonymous says:

    It’s all so desperate, isn’t it?

    Incidentally, the MOD civil servants I know don’t get any major bonuses. So, who does, I wonder?

    Families of dead critical of MOD bonuses, turnout key to election, new Nutt council, Budget pleas to be ignored, Labour Yorkshire MPs attack Brown,

  272. 272

    People voted for Hitler.

  273. 273
    Chartered accountant says:

    Professor C. P. Parkinson (of ‘Parkinson’s Law’ – ‘work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion’ – fame) demonstrated ‘how the Admiralty had swollen as the number of ships and sailors in its care shrunk’.

    No change then. Except, fortunately, the sailors weren’t be killed or wounded when he wrote.

  274. 274
    Toady says:

    HUMPHREYS: “would you be so kind as to comment on those lying, traitorous bastards at The Sun?”

    MANDLEBUM: “of course”

  275. 275
    skippy says:

    David Kelly never did have an inquest, wonder if they’re worried someone, some day, will think to hold one?

  276. 276
    763 says:

    I seem to remember that during my military service (Baor Artillery, 1970/1985)
    there were 13 soldiers per civil servant . Not being a rocket scientist i find it
    difficult understand why it’s now nearly one to one. jobs for the boys perhaps ?

  277. 277
    Mike Naylor says:

    thnk I’ve been overdoing it, boss. Banned from the Beeb. Can you send that list of nom-de-plumes again so they can re-instate me? Cheers.

  278. 278
    Engineer says:

    You can predict Murdoch’s response, can’t you. He might phrase it more diplomatically, but it’ll be along the lines of, “I’m in business to make a profit, and I can’t afford to back losers. Get over it, sucker.”

  279. 279
    The UK is becoming East Germany circa 1976 says:

    The “British Government” is little more than a regional administrative authority, now the Lisbon coup has been ratified.

    The British people, kept so long in the dark by a barrage of lies from our political elite, are in for a very rude awakening, as to who runs the country from now on in.

    Clue: It aint the clowns who you vote for any longer.

  280. 280
    skippy says:

    Presumably this law will criminalise the publication and or distribution of the Bible and the Koran, and kick Sharia law in to touch once and for all. So maybe not so bad after all

  281. 281
    The Sleeper says:

    Meanwhile it’s being reported that Brown has got his revenge on Murdoch by putting The Ashes on terrestrial TV…

    Well…that’ll be making Murdoch consider suicide,won’t it.

  282. 282
    Mr Ned says:

    ’tis true. He is the Rothschilds enforcer in the UK.

    Why has nobody killed him yet? OH yeah, the British are now dumbed down, unpatriotic wimps, cowards and losers.

    Wingeing and moaning and bitching over their keyboards and praying that somebody else will take a lead and “do something”, but not on a work-day ‘cos I can’t make it. Oh and not on Saturday, cos the football is on, and not on sunday, ‘cos I go to the inlaws for my Sunday lunch.

    YES I fully and shamefully and honestly INCLUDE myself in the above description.

    Nope, unless we all unite and vote these twats out of office in their entirety, we are all fucked, cos there is not a real revolutionary bone left in any of us.

    I know I am a deluded optimist, but I hope that, just once, people will get off their flabby and cosseted arses and kick these shysters, criminals and crooks from power, Labour and Tory alike! THEY ARE THE FUCKING SAME!

    This is the ONLY chance we have to save our sovereignty from the treason that is currently being finalised against us.

    As I respected the two minutes silence for the brave and tragic victims of the past centuries wars and the massive sacrifice that was made by over a million of our servicemen to defend OUR Sovereignty, I was deeply ashamed that far too many of my generation appear to be not even prepared to cast a single, simple ballot to defend the same thing. No more that 2 minutes of your time to save a nation that over a million have faced machine-gun fire to protect!

    It is a great shame that Cameron has finally proven himself to be complicit in this treason by refusing to reverse it. That Cameron has refused to defend our sovereignty in the only way that can feasibly be attained shows us clearly that Brown and Cameron are on the same side and it is NOT OUR SIDE!

    Well, even if it is a wast of time, even IF labour win, even IF it becomes a miserable death to this once great nation, I shall cast my vote to save my country.

    I cannot cast a vote in favour of this country by voting labour or conservative or liberal, for they are ALL perpetuating this treason.

    If I vote labour I vote to endorse treason.
    If I vote liberal I vote to endorse treason.
    If I vote Conservative, I vote to endorse treason.

    Tories, wake up! Non-voters, WAKE UP!

  283. 283
    Anonymus says:

    You haven’t been watching Balamory i guess.

  284. 284
    Mark Oaten says:

    room for a little one?

  285. 285
    Master Baiter says:

    Status is important.
    Why are teachers denigrated and have low status in the UK?
    Why do teachers have high status and repsect in countries with more successful economies such as France, Germany and Japan?
    Why does the UK have such a shortage of competent engineers?

  286. 286
    Randy Bumgartner (US) says:

    I have a position for him.

  287. 287
    Mr Ned says:

    It was on the radio this morning. It’s nothing to worry about of course, for it shall almost never be used. Except to cover-up extra-judicial executions of inconvenient witnesses perhaps?

    Indeed it is a very useful tool for the state to have as it builds up its totalitarian toolkit. No totalitarian state would be complete without the ability to murder its political dissidents with impunity, now, would it?

  288. 288

    Indeed. It is no crime to call for somone to face a fair trial and then be shot to tiny little pieces.

  289. 289
    Four eyes says:

    He didn’t have room for all the Afghan names.

  290. 290
    solopolis says:

    Yeah. Him and the rest.

    Thirty pieces of silver was all it took.

    Shafted by our “glorious” leaders again and again and again.

  291. 291
    The Sleeper says:

    Forgot to mention Murdochs’ success rate vs Browns’..

    Murdoch:..News Corp is the 2nd largest media group in the World (behind Disney!!)

    Brown:..succeeded in bankrupting the United Kingdom.

  292. 292
    Mr Ned says:

    There would be major competition for that job tat, and I would be trying to jump the queue.

    It should be televised on pay per view, it would probably pay off the national debt!

  293. 293
    whatwereyouonlastnight says:


  294. 294
    mark oaten's dentist says:

    That is it, I can’t take anymore.

    I am removing you from my list of patients, find someone else.

  295. 295
    Hu Dong Fart says:

    Well the Chinese do understand the benefits of capitalism and are not so egotistical to think they can bend it to there will ala Gordon Brown style.

  296. 296
    Oxford Dick Shunry says:

    That would be ME

  297. 297

    “The law, intended to protect gay people from threatening behaviour,”

    The BBC: barefaced lying, it’s what we do.

    Threatening behaviour is already an offence – funny the BBC don’t know this. What *this* law intends to do is make *any* criticism of homosexuality, or homosexual lifestyle, illegal, no matter how quietly or reasonably put.

  298. 298
    Simon r says:

    Actually I heard we have 2 civil servants in the MOD for every soldier on the front line.

  299. 299

    That wasn’t a gurn, it’s some kind of spasm.

    He looks like half a dozen aliens are wrestling for control inside.

  300. 300
    Master Baiter says:

    All Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf said was that the US military would burn in their tanks.

    He was correct.

  301. 301
    The IMF is coming says:


    When Gordon is in his retirement and looks back on his time as PM I think there will be one over riding memory for him:

    Hosting the G20 at the Excel Exhibition centre. The anticipation as a Limo drew up. The excitement at a few snatched words with Sarko, Silvio, Angela and those other ones. The lovely photographs as he waited in a concrete corridor at the back door of an exhibition centre. ‘They love me, I am a true Statesman of the World, they can’t take this away from me – I will be lauded’

  302. 302
    Hu Dong Fart says:

    Budding Civil Engineers of all disciplines have to spend an extra six months studying ‘Global Climate Change’ now as a module ontop of exisiting work to pass their degrees.

    They indoctrinate them while they are young, Hitler and Stalin would be proud.

  303. 303
    jgm2 says:

    Nor without suspending Habeus Corpus. It would need that. And you’d need a long period of detention without charge too.

    And they’d need to do away with the right to silence and the double-jeopardy rule. And because even after two trials for the same offence when you’ve taken away the protection of double-jeopardy you might still not be able to get the verdict you want then you’d need to do away with jury trials.

    And if you’re going to want to know where people are at all times and be sure they’re doing only sanctioned activities you’re going to need to spy on them 24/7. And in order to be sure of who people are they’ll have to be issued with compulsory ID cards.

    Oh, look.


    Even if we imagined for one moment that this outcome was not their intention the very fact that they have put these tools of oppression in place for a future regime to abuse shows they have no concept of what can go wrong. Just as they glibly rode the UK into the biggest economic clusterfuck in living memory because they simply are incapable of seeing the gaping holes in their argument. Or, more likely, know full-well the gaping holes but are determined to press on with their pre-determined evil-doing.

  304. 304
    Engineer says:

    Morning, TaT.

  305. 305
  306. 306
    Hertz Van Rentl says:

    You hav larfing stock as leader!

  307. 307
    Hu Dong Fart says:

    Sure all tradesmen need CSCS cards you have to take a test to get and fork out 25 quid a time to take them and they only last every 5 years as well.

  308. 308
    Gordon Brown says:

    Who says Labour isn’t working ??

    The number of households receiving benefits worth more than £15,000 a year has doubled since Labour came to power, figures showed today.

    Welfare Reform Minister Jim Knight said 1.2 million households were given state handouts in excess of £15,000 a year in 2007-08, compared with 600,000 in 1997-98.

    Households receiving more than £20,000 a year trebled in that time, from 100,000 in 1997-98 to 300,000 in 2007-08.

    The figures do not include income from tax credits, Mr Knight told shadow work and pensions secretary Theresa May in a written Commons answer.

    Data was taken from the nationally representative Family Resources Survey, which includes benefits administered by the Department for Work and Pensions, HM Revenue and Customs, Service Personnel and Veterans Agency and local authorities.

    “The amount of benefits a family receives is entirely dependent on its individual circumstances,” Mr Knight added.

    I trust you will all join me tomorrow in Glasgow North East to drink to a Labour victory and the cruhing of the Conservative vote

  309. 309
    streamfisher says:

    Apparently somebody justified these bonuses by saying it can be quite dangerous working in an M.O.D office, ever present threat of stapler through finger etc, must keep a sense of proportion…Not.

  310. 310
    Mike Naylor says:

    I’m no fan of Brown, but don’t these familes realise he has a mild eyesight problem? What is their minor inconvenience compared to his suffering? I for one am glad he has sacrificed his time to lead us.

  311. 311
    Hu Dong Fart says:

    They do, look at Milliband: first class honours degree in Politics and that is his only experience in the real world.

  312. 312
    'turfing central says:

    Remember everyone – YOU must get your time sheets in by 6pm TONIGHT and anyone still not put their names down for the “staff-bonding” day out REMEMBER to do so.Thx

  313. 313
    Aintwortha shit says:

    Why should I send more soldiers out to Afgurnistan now?
    Some of the one’s I already sent are still alive.

  314. 314
    Mr Ned says:

    WSH, I have reported you to the police for your blatant, inflammatory and offensive hate speech against heterosexuals.

    This PC stuff could be fun… I can’t wait for the police to start carting off homosexual’s for THEIR intolerant hate speech.

    They’ll be crying and moaning and bitching then won’t they? That is the trouble with these people, they can’t stand it up ‘em!

    Hang on, er on second thoughts….

    As for the PC label “homophobic”, a phobia is an irrational fear. Not a rational and natural revulsion. The two are very different! I know many people that have no fear of homosexuals whatsoever, but find the thought of engaging in any sexual act with another person of the same gender to be utterly revolting. That is NORMAL for them. EQUALLY and EXACTLY the SAME as homosexuals finding the thought of heterosexual sexually acts repulsive.

    I feel that so long as homosexuals are allowed to live their lives and express their views openly AND heterosexuals are allowed to live their lives, and express their views openly, then there is no problem.

  315. 315
    Trinny says:

    In a world where 50 of people are supposed to go to university, I’d quite like my nurses to come from the 50% who go rather than those that don’t.

    Now of course the 50% is a bloody ridiculous idea…..

  316. 316

    Because British teachers are more concerned with promoting a social agenda than they are with educating and attaining excellence. To most British teachers “elitism” is a dirty word.

    There are exceptions of course – but I personally know of teachers I wouldn’t let shovel shit.

  317. 317
    Theo Saurus says:

    Didn’t I go to school with you?

  318. 318
    corky says:

    Saw this one earlier,the police chiefs have produced a 93 page book on how to ride a byke for policeman training.
    you couldn,t make it up.

  319. 319
    Hu Dong Fart says:

    Because your government is shit, and taxes them to death and regulates them to death when they have the skills to work ANYWHERE in the world.

    The rest of the world is laughing and profiting from Labours follies as the skilled work flocks to there shores. While the UK slips further down the mire.

  320. 320
    Another Mike Naylor says:

    I’m no fan of Brown, but how do I get a ticket to Mad Hattie’s tea party?

  321. 321
    corky says:


  322. 322
    Hu Dong Fart says:

    They are dead men walking and are slowly starting to realise it.

  323. 323
    Arsekicker extraordinaire says:

    And up he pops. Had your backside kicked yet?

  324. 324
    BBC - run by apprentices says:

    V Derbyshire on 5Live has just cut the CEO of the BBC to tiny shreds and thrown away the pieces.

    This piece of crap reckons it IS worthwhile for all of us to pay £250 for the producers of The Apprentice to have a booze-up to celebrate the success of the show.She says that we WOULD all like to pay for them to celebrate (over and above the licence fee).

    Surely this means that we can only hope that every programme the BBC airs is a load of bollocks and a pile of tripe,so as to avoid further “support’ for their boozy celebrations?

    Hmmm – so the show is headed by a Labour-appointed purveyor of shoddy goods,featuring nonentities with no future and no ability.

    Sounds just about right.

  325. 325
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    At least the Filipino nurses will be trained in nursing. What’s more likely to happen, is that the compassionate nursing work will be palmed off to nursing assistants coming “out of Africa”.

  326. 326
    Lizzie says:

    Hell, how many jobs can “one man Mandelson” handle, he lives up to his title of Lord High and Mighty and Everything Else.

  327. 327
    Engineer says:

    It’s the nature of bureaucracies. They breed and expand exponentially.

    The NHS is the same – what do we want nurses for anyway? They cost money and absorb too much administrative time. Need to get rid of patients as well, then the organisation would run a lot smoother.

    Same with the armed forces. If soldiers didn’t demand helicopters, we wouldn’t have to divert precious resources and administrative time to finding out why we can’t supply them. Anyway, aren’t the armed forces trained to improvise?

    You’d laugh if it wasn’t so serious.

  328. 328
    Bob the Builder says:

    he will know that the lights have gone out though..

    That’s enough….

  329. 329
    Moley says:

    We are going back to the days of the workhouse and sweated labour in satanic mills.

    The workers get paid a pittance, borrow money from their employer at punitive rates, shop at the company shop, live in a company house, and have to pay all sorts of extra charges for essentials through compulsory deductions from salary.

    The only difference is that under socialism, the fat, bloated mill owner, has become a fat bloated socialist politician and the Government runs the mill.

  330. 330
    Cheese Lover says:

    Bonuses are given to people who work for firms where there is competition for the services or goods provided, to provide an incentive to do well against the competition. How this culture spread to the Civil Service I do not know but it HAS TO STOP, not just in defence but in all the other departments. A bonus culture is presumably also an incentive to continually create extra rules and regulations to provide new ‘targets’ for the bonus claims.

  331. 331
    Engineer says:

    Somebody has to do the job of Prime Minister. The current incumbent clearly can’t.

  332. 332
    Gordons favourite Butt Plug says:

    Given that there are 180,000 MoD direct employees including affiliated organisations. that would be 18:1.

    There are only just under 10,000 front line troops.

    And the MoD spent 2.3 BILLION on Whitehall refurbishment at the turn of the Century. Look it up.

  333. 333
  334. 334
    Sir Trev Skint MP says:

    He was speaker when he last contested the seat in 2005. Only the SNP contested the seat, plus a few arsoles.

    The Conservatives and Lib/dems didn’t, so you would expect the majority to be much reduced.

  335. 335
    Road_Hog says:

    A Scotsman getting on with the jobby, that’s about right.

  336. 336
    Grimy Miner says:

    ‘Friends of Mandy’

    Ooer! sounds like ‘Friends of Dorothy’

  337. 337
    Despot Dave says:

    Well said. This is last chance saloon to save UK democracy. Vote out the LibLabCon trick, at all costs. Dodgy Dave is just another Brussels puppet, groomed by the NWO group. WAKE UP, EVERYONE…

  338. 338
    Doc Trough says:

    The Gannon?

  339. 339
    Moley says:

    It’s because computers have made administration much more efficient.

    I thought everyone knew that.

    It takes an awful lot of time to do all the necessary work recording and read all those minutes, circulars, and “what to say” briefing notes.

    And don’t forget the meetings.

    And health and safety.

    And the days off for Union business.

    And compulsory sick leave.

    Half an hour for “Coffee” at 11.00am.

    One hour for lunch.

    Half an hour for “Tea” at 3.00pm.

    Home at 5.00pm on the dot after a hard days work.

    I think we need another ten people boss, we simply can’t keep up.

  340. 340
    Dazed and confused says:

    I inspect shipping as part of my job. I have just been informed I have to have a new certificate and some ‘training’ (Beyond the reams of qualifications and experience I already have including the most senior qualification in the industry)

    T continue in my work I apparently have to enroll with a body of which I know little who will put this application to a committee who will decide if I can continue to do it.

    I have been in shipping for 32 years. If the committee say no I am screwed but the most sinister thing is there is little information about all of this and I have no idea who? or what qualifications and experience they have that sit on this committee and make the final decison?


  341. 341
    Moley says:

    “I think you have already said that.

    Five thousand times, on the BBC blogs, and all the newspaper comment sections.

    Go forth and multiply.

  342. 342
    Mr Slater's Parrot says:


  343. 343
    Anonymous says:

    Wayne Rooney says:
    November 12, 2009 at 10:45 am
    Surely ‘maladroit is incompetence’. Isn’t it?

    Nah he’s the inside right for FC Barcelona I think

  344. 344
    barefootcontessa says:

    MFI, cheap and tawdry,……. that’s my opinion of Mandelslime.

  345. 345
    barefootcontessa says:

    Please! please! Sun newspaper do an expose of that creepy, slimy, slithery, no-good, deceitful, unpopular, sun shines out of my arse Mandelscum!!

  346. 346
    tat says:

    I have already secured the pay-per-view rights.

  347. 347
    Pontius The Pilot says:

    Fuck off Naylor you trolling twat!

  348. 348
    barefootcontessa says:

    We had the ‘pleasure’ of one of Cherie’s hand maids (F Campbell) on the Politics show today. What’s happening to the guests on this show? Phil Woolas pops up nearly every day talking his usual drivel, and the next guest is going to be – wait for it……That evil Blair help mate – Alistair Campbell! He was on radio 4 this am doing a repeat performance of his Jacques Brel (who I love) programme! Is it Brillo choosing the guests or are they foisted off on him?

  349. 349
    The Sleeper says:

    Apparently,it includes a section on ‘deployment at a junction’..

    Which in English means..’turning right or left’.


  350. 350
    barefootcontessa says:

    So that’s what they wear.

  351. 351
    Moley says:

    This degree of negligence is unforgiveable.

    The police chiefs have not issued instructions on how to read the book without getting paper cuts, nor have they made it clear that officers should not read the book whislt they are actually riding; they should make a slowing down signal with their right arm when it is safe to do so, pull into the curb, withdraw their book from their pocket and then seek the necessary guidance.

    If the topic is not covered in the 93 pages, (provided they have been cleared and issued with a paedo-watch certificate), officers should find a ten year old child and ask them.

  352. 352
    Grrr says:

    Just call Mandy’s Ministry the Ministry for Truth and have done with it…..

  353. 353
    Pontius The Pilot says:

    Spot on tat. Fucking spot on

  354. 354
    North, but not Scotland says:

    Most of the brave genes were carried by those who were destroyed by German machineguns, and the genes that are now in the majority are like those of slipperyweaseluntrustworthyc untstraw

  355. 355
    Jimmy says:

    And yet there are still those who continue to believe that earth revolves around the sun. Keep up the good work Mr. Bonaparte.

  356. 356
    North, but not Scotland says:

    On 5live, just heard Sir Michael Caine lamenting the lost generation of inner city youth left behind “after 12 years of a socialist government”, Mayo soon changed the subject. How dare a guest on the BBC be allowed to drift so far off message, especially one who has made a career out of reading scripts.

  357. 357
    Mr Ned says:

    Correct. As most totalitarian states appear very slowly from the shadows, created by deliberate and deceitful “false flag” tactics as justification. We are as frogs slowly boiled alive in a pot.

    We are brought up and indoctrinated in school and by the mainstream media to believe that we live in a democracy and have freedom and that totalitarian dictatorships come about quickly from violent military coups and they only happen to other countries and that this is something that cannot happen here, meanwhile, they build up their totalitarian toolkit, bit-by-bit. It is very nearly a completely full toolkit now. When it finally is full, it will be too late to protest, or change it or do a damn thing about it!

    That is why the price of freedom is eternal vigilance. I have been vigilant and every-time they add another tool, and I speak out about it and its dangers, some far too trusting pillocks decide I am a conspiracy nutter.

    Well it will be soon too late to NOT deny the truth. As telling the truth will become a revolutionary act in itself! By the time many of these people WILL want to acknowledge the truth, it may be far too late to be allowed to acknowledge the truth.

  358. 358
    Mr Ned says:

    Shit tat, ya beat me too it this time!!!

  359. 359
    Mr Ned says:

    Yup, he has has MI5 steal one of Nick G’s speeches and is delivering it himself.

    What a prize fuckwit!

  360. 360
    Mr Ned says:

    I weep for what these bastards have done to our country, I really do!

  361. 361
    Mr Ned says:

    I know I have nearly had my leg blown off by IED’s whilst walking down Whitehall on MANY occasions now… Where’s MY bonus???


  362. 362
    Mr Ned says:

    Sick, just sick!

  363. 363
    Mr Ned says:

    Suky, you are right, so I would think that there is no need for “quotes” around the word “sacrifice”.

    We both know exactly what the meaning is and it should be capitalised if anything.

  364. 364
    Mr Ned says:

    So we, the taxpayer, are funding private corporations through our taxes. This is also known as corporatism, or fascism.

    At least with the BT and British Gas privatisations, those companies were sold into the private sector, and then we paid privately for them.

    These days, the Government privatise the service and we STILL pay over the odds for it through our taxes! That is fascism!

  365. 365
    Australian says:

    Indeed Moley – and all of that is *supposed* to be illegal under the Truck Acts. Then again, we know that this disgraceful shower consider that the law is only there for the purpose of controlling the “little people who do not matter”.

  366. 366
    Australian says:

    Solopolis: I think you will find that Bliar and Slotgob’s price is a bit higher than Judas’.

  367. 367
    Sir Arthur Harris says:

    No they didn’t – at least not after my lads had offloaded a bit of ordnance on the railway yards!

  368. 368
    Mr Ned says:

    Unless we all unite on polling day to take OUR country back from them!

    The media and tory spinmeisters will be out in force to terrify you into believing that there is a difference between tory and labour and a vote for anyone else will let those nasty labour fuckwits in, (just so the nasty tory fuckwits can take over)

    BUT if we, the pissed off, over taxed, abused, voters actually united to vote against the mainstream, we could end the duopoly and get our country back.

    We, the pissed off voters, OUTNUMBER labour and tory supporters COMBINED! Have a little bit of courage and vote the criminals OUT!

  369. 369
    Australian says:

    It has been happening for years, Mr Ned. Just think of the illegal TV tax that so many people foolishly believe they have to pay each year!

  370. 370
    Australian says:

    Described by the ever “impartial” BBC as “only a small rise” in repossessions.

    So that’s OK then, isn’t it?!

  371. 371
    Pride's Purge says:

    Correct – it’s already happening. I’ve worked as a nurse for 30 years, and I thank God for two things: one, that I shan’t need to do it for too much longer unless one or another set of shit-for-brains politicians manages finally to fuck up the NHS pension scheme; and two, that Britain recruits nurses from Africa and India where they still actually train them properly. It all started to go down the bed-pan washer in the 1980’s with a thing called Project 2000, when nurse training ceased to be an apprenticeship and became college-based, and every attempt at fiddling with it since has made it worse. Not only are we training nurses who are too grand to wash, bath or change a patient once they are qualified, we are recruiting them too grand to do it when they are training. And try asking them to learn how to do a medicine round safely, right amount of the right stuff in the right form by the right route to the right person so you don’t kill anyone…..

  372. 372
    Anonymous says:

    A bonus culture is fine in the civil service, as long as the reasoning behind the bonus is relevant.
    For example, if a civil servant came up with an idea to save a department 50 million quid while improving the end-result of what that department is supposed to do, then I say give that civil servant a big bonus.
    The problem here is not that there’s a bonus culture, the problem is that people get bonuses for arbitrary irrelevant targets that don’t really benefit anyone.

    For example, a civil servant might get a bonus for providing a technical spec for a new I.T. system on-time. But the fact that his spec is shite and leads to an unworkable over-priced system won’t be taken into account. In fact, the more obscure, convoluted, and illogical his spec is the more money he’d get as a bonus because his bosses will say “I don’t understand any of this, so it must be good”

    Now, if that civil servant had turned around to a minister and said “the requests for this system make no sense; here’s a much better way to achieve what you’re after….” and then designs his own spec from scratch which leads to a workable system at a tenth of the original price, then he’d be ignored and wouldn’t get his bonus.

    It’s the mentality behind what the bonuses are given for rather than the bonus itself which needs to be attacked.

    Tendering out government projects has the same twisted mentality; the more overpriced the private-sector offer is, the more likely it’ll be picked up. If company “x” bids £1billion, and company “y” says “nope; this can easily be done for £10million because it’s actually quite simple”, then company “x” will get the contract.

    It probably also helps the tendering process if you’ve given a donation to the labour party.

  373. 373
    Mr Plum says:

    I’m sure the carrot of a nice bonus can buy silence and ease consciences.

  374. 374
    Anonymous says:

    That was actually a reply to:
    Cheese Lover says:
    November 12, 2009 at 12:17 pm
    but for some reason it went into the wrong place.
    Not my fault it went into the wrong place; it was obviously Thatcher’s fault.

  375. 375
    caesars wife says:

    We cant rewind weve gone to far, put out the name of twitter tzar

    aw whorrrrr guido killed the lobby star

    cant remember was it by the buggles ore the smearers !

  376. 376
    skippy says:

    So, Mandelson wants to give a televised briefing twice a week. Could he really think anyone would really want to watch this most toxic and dishonest of politicians. A party politicial broadcast twice a week? Would the viewing figures be embarrasingly low; probably.

    Which is why I am wondering if this is all part of a subtle plan. Recently, Gordon Brown hailed a report requiring every household to have broadband by 2012 and taxing existing users to do it. Calling it an as essential a utility as water, electricity, roads, rail etc. Having said that, what the hell business of government it is, whether I choose to have broadband or not is anyone’s guess.

    However, could technology be used to make people watch these propganda broadcasts?
    The answer of course is yes. Broadband in every home, perhaps a Screen in every home wich could not be switched off, possibly built into every router. The government would then know who is, and more importantly, who is not watching their broadcast. Perhaps further integration could be achieved using the RFID technology already contained in ID cards to monitor people on a one to one level.

    Wild eyed conspiracy theory? Probably, but Orwell has been right in virtually all his 1984 predicitions, just a little out on the date. Twelve years ago, had anyone predicted the errosion of civil liberties and level of government snooping, I would have thought it a wild eyed conspiracy.

    Actually, I think people did predict it, but I didn’t believe them. Doh!

  377. 377
    Jon1 says:

    Thanks Guido

    You’re a star. Thanks for being here.

    Please don’t go for any walks in woods!

    I’m sure you’ll get various invitations to go for walks before the next UK general election.

    Mirror Mirror on the newsstand who is fairest of all?

    O Lady Mirror, fair ye not be, Guido Fawkes is fairer far for all to see

  378. 378
    Jon1 says:

    Thanks Guido

    You’re a star. Thanks for being here.

    Please don’t go for any walks in woods!

    I’m sure you’ll get various invitations to go for walks before the next UK general election.

    Mirror Mirror on the newsstand who is fairest of all?

    O Lady Mirror, fair ye not be, Guido Fawkes is fairer far for all to see

  379. 379
    Anonymous says:

    Teachers( who have never left school ) are adults amongst children and children amongst adults. Many of them have a fucking unreal sense of entitlement .

  380. 380
    Beautiful Day says:

    Yesterday in the HoC Milliband, Ed, announced the sites for new nuclear power stations, saying Dungeness had been left out due to concers over rising sea levels and the proximity of a nature reserve. This didn’t go down too well with the locals, who were having a good say on regional TV last night complaining ther were few jobs apart from nuclear power, smuggling and sheep rustling. This obviously got reported back to Brown who was in Kent today, and when asked about it said this was just the first round and he hoped to see a new site at Dungeness in future rounds.

    SSSHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTT – the curse of McDoom has been visited on a nuclear power station, time to emigrate.

  381. 381
    UK Fred says:

    Anon @10:35, why not insist that the MPs pay for the priviledge of sitting on the Green Benches, say £10,000 a year?

    And as part of their job, they should have to spend at least a week in a public facing role in every “service” in the public sector, so a week at an Inland Revenue Customer Enquiry Centre (Tax Office) dealing with real members of the public to see how badly they’ve screwed up the tax system, a week dealing with claimants, preferably druggies, in a Social Security Office, a week on nights, starting on a Friday night as a receptionist at a hospital accident and emergency unit, a week going to see farmers to dish out and explain their subsidy payments under the EU common agricultural policy, and a charge of, say £1000 for every time they make a mistake. If we hit them in the pocket then they might get the message.

  382. 382
    UK Fred says:

    Do you mean Talking Horse Spheroids of Mangledbum?

  383. 383
    UK Fred says:

    Too good for them, well too quick and not painful enough.

  384. 384
    Great Granddad says:

    Funny thing that. This is what happened to the banks. From the late seventies two degrees was the requirement. Didn’t matter what they were, the only object was to capture future management from the top percentile of the population. Ended up with people like Fred the Shredding Machine, an accountant by trade, who knew less about banking than real bankers knew about quantum physics, running the banks. Not all of them were honest by a long way, and none of them had the training that they should have got by the time they were eighteen. Add to that the fact that they all had their focus on bonuses and the result is the system collapse that is laughingly called a recession. Meanwhile, we have King et al, the same people who got us into this mess, describing the shape and timing of the economy’s coming upward curve.

    As upward curves don’t occur after a system collapse, I advise my blogging friends not to hold their breath.

  385. 385
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    You have taken redaction to a new level.

  386. 386
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    WSH: Oh you are awful, but I like you not.

  387. 387
    Tapestry says:

    Mandelson still thinks we’re in 2003 when the Media Class signed us into the Iraq War, all opposition was crushed in totalitarian style while major Blair-lies were disseminated.

    He wants to lie to us all over again and bypass Parliament and any other democratic system with his twice weekly spin-show.

    We still for some reason trusted government spokesmen in 2003, but these days, his proposed TV broadcasts would be met with universal cynicism.

    They’ve burned all the trust out of the system. The only way back is Cameron’s rebuilding of institutions, combined with the media neutralised as the only source of political power.

    The Blair, mandelson, Campbell enthusiasm for totalitarian techniques is past.

  388. 388

    […] Fawkes, the author of the UK’s most popular political blog, was quick to crow “Guido killed the lobby star” – a reference to his long-running attacks on the cosy relationship between Downing Street […]

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