November 12th, 2009

Guido Killed the Lobby Star

guido killed the lobby starThe PMOS, Simon Lewis, and the chairman of the Lobby, Jean Eaglesham, yesterday announced that the system of Downing Street Lobby briefings is to be reviewed  “in light of the changes in the reporting of the work of government in an increasingly fast-moving and on-line media world”.  On hearing the news Guido – enjoying a two bottle lunch since PMQs was delayed – paraphrased  lyrics from the Buggles hit on Twitter in celebration.

A working group of six lobby hacks and five government spin doctors is going to come up with recommendations to be implemented next year. No one from the fast-moving online media world is on the working group. Guido has made his views about the Westminster embedded client media that constitutes the Lobby system clear over the years (see Newsnight and The Times). The meek acceptance of non-attributable briefings, often of questionable truth, is hardly helpful to the functioning of an open democracy. This method of information distribution is glorified as “on Lobby terms”.

Comical AliFriends of Mandy have spun the Guardian the idea that the Dark Lord himself should give twice weekly televised briefings* in a new information minister role.  The prospect of Comical Mandy batting off questions from the Lobby has some appeal.  It will all be a pantomime until the clubby culture of the Lobby changes.

*Guido has long supported televised Lobby briefings, ask yourself why is it that Lobby hacks oppose televising them?


  1. 1
    Throbber says:

    It’s a stitch up, they are trying to shut Guido and thus all of us, great unwashed out. Once again these new labour vermin are trying to “control the narrative”.

    • 26
      Gordon Brown stole my pension says:

      Is that one of Camoron’s ‘cast iron’ promises?


      • 36
        Brown's a Tosser says:

        GB: No you mean Iron Cast. No Iron Clad. No Ironing Board. No oh to hell with I’m to busy trying to fix the country for all this. And its time for my medication.

        • 55
          Dark Brown says:

          You say tomato – I say tomayto

          I say – shoot the Fecker Brown down down down

          • Richard I. Chavez says:

            Anybody who can support this half-strangled abortion of a government must have Brown’s syndrome.

          • Anonymous says:

            It’s all so desperate, isn’t it?

            Incidentally, the MOD civil servants I know don’t get any major bonuses. So, who does, I wonder?

            Families of dead critical of MOD bonuses, turnout key to election, new Nutt council, Budget pleas to be ignored, Labour Yorkshire MPs attack Brown,

          • Cheese Lover says:

            Bonuses are given to people who work for firms where there is competition for the services or goods provided, to provide an incentive to do well against the competition. How this culture spread to the Civil Service I do not know but it HAS TO STOP, not just in defence but in all the other departments. A bonus culture is presumably also an incentive to continually create extra rules and regulations to provide new ‘targets’ for the bonus claims.

          • Mr Slater's Parrot says:


          • Anonymous says:

            A bonus culture is fine in the civil service, as long as the reasoning behind the bonus is relevant.
            For example, if a civil servant came up with an idea to save a department 50 million quid while improving the end-result of what that department is supposed to do, then I say give that civil servant a big bonus.
            The problem here is not that there’s a bonus culture, the problem is that people get bonuses for arbitrary irrelevant targets that don’t really benefit anyone.

            For example, a civil servant might get a bonus for providing a technical spec for a new I.T. system on-time. But the fact that his spec is shite and leads to an unworkable over-priced system won’t be taken into account. In fact, the more obscure, convoluted, and illogical his spec is the more money he’d get as a bonus because his bosses will say “I don’t understand any of this, so it must be good”

            Now, if that civil servant had turned around to a minister and said “the requests for this system make no sense; here’s a much better way to achieve what you’re after….” and then designs his own spec from scratch which leads to a workable system at a tenth of the original price, then he’d be ignored and wouldn’t get his bonus.

            It’s the mentality behind what the bonuses are given for rather than the bonus itself which needs to be attacked.

            Tendering out government projects has the same twisted mentality; the more overpriced the private-sector offer is, the more likely it’ll be picked up. If company “x” bids £1billion, and company “y” says “nope; this can easily be done for £10million because it’s actually quite simple”, then company “x” will get the contract.

            It probably also helps the tendering process if you’ve given a donation to the labour party.

          • Mr Plum says:

            I’m sure the carrot of a nice bonus can buy silence and ease consciences.

          • Anonymous says:

            That was actually a reply to:
            Cheese Lover says:
            November 12, 2009 at 12:17 pm
            but for some reason it went into the wrong place.
            Not my fault it went into the wrong place; it was obviously Thatcher’s fault.

          • Jon1 says:

            Thanks Guido

            You’re a star. Thanks for being here.

            Please don’t go for any walks in woods!

            I’m sure you’ll get various invitations to go for walks before the next UK general election.

            Mirror Mirror on the newsstand who is fairest of all?

            O Lady Mirror, fair ye not be, Guido Fawkes is fairer far for all to see

      • 312
        'turfing central says:

        Remember everyone – YOU must get your time sheets in by 6pm TONIGHT and anyone still not put their names down for the “staff-bonding” day out REMEMBER to do so.Thx

    • 54
      Mitch says:

      The lobby has always been a cosy stitch-up. The establishment is now opening up to greater scrutiny? Yeah, right…..

      • 72
        Gordon's latest initiative says:

        Gordon’s latest cunning plan is now to make all future nurses to go to one of his plastic Uni’s and borrow 30 grand from him before they can go change a bed pan or fluff up a pillow.

        What’s wrong with the present system of traing Nurses in house and paying them?

        • 87
          Florence says:

          because doing a job for it’s own rewards isn’t enough. Everything now has to be super-special and over-promoted. It’s the modern way.

          • Where's the exit? says:

            Exactly – the winner gets ignored and the loser gets a special certificate for doing so well given their terrible circumstances – how else can a Prime Minister get away with the appalling scrawled rubbish he sent to a bereaved mother?

            The criminal is the victim

            The victim is the criminal

            WELCOME to Brown’s Broken Britain.

          • Furious Capitalist says:

            Lets lock people up for long enough to bankrupt the country but more importantly damage the individual to such a degree that they cannot function in society and are more dangerous too us once they are let out. Infact why don’t we just copy the USA in everything they do and then crime will be Ten times worse per head of population, what a great idea to keep the Police and the Criminal justice system costing the Tax payer and businesses their shirts

          • Furious Capitalist says:

            Lets Pay the politicians more money and cut public services, infact lets give rises to all of the public services and the Government can over Tax and kill off any chance of commericial activity here in the UK. I am off to China, I think that communist State has a better handle of Capitalism than the Knackers we have running this lunatic asylum. Or why don’t we just all get a degree and then go on the DOLE,

          • Hu Dong Fart says:

            Well the Chinese do understand the benefits of capitalism and are not so egotistical to think they can bend it to there will ala Gordon Brown style.

        • 97
          Time to leave says:

          Exactly – so every Nurse will leave “University” with a £30,000 debt,earn the same low wage and be forever in a debt regime.

          They will simply give them more work and responsibility on the same wages.

        • 106
          jgm2 says:

          The trouble is they’ll spend three years in a plastic Uni learning theory and racial awareness and writing structured essays on diversity issues and learn absolutely nothing about the practicalities of being a nurse. Indeed they’ll only visit hospitals in the same way that school children visit the theatre to see a Shakespeare play.

          They will then emerge with their shiny certificate and consider themselves too fucking good to do any of an actual nurses donkey work. They’ll be only happy when they’re taking blood pressure or handing out pills. All the bed-pans and bedding and all the actual nursing work will be being done by agency nurses from the Philippines.

          It’s already happening.

          • Anonymous says:

            Yes – it’s the new way that we are training doctors. Look into it – you’ll be scared shitless.

          • cworrr says:

            I like those sexy Filipinas though.

          • Hu Dong Fart says:

            Budding Civil Engineers of all disciplines have to spend an extra six months studying ‘Global Climate Change’ now as a module ontop of exisiting work to pass their degrees.

            They indoctrinate them while they are young, Hitler and Stalin would be proud.

          • Osama the Nazarene says:

            At least the Filipino nurses will be trained in nursing. What’s more likely to happen, is that the compassionate nursing work will be palmed off to nursing assistants coming “out of Africa”.

          • Pride's Purge says:

            Correct – it’s already happening. I’ve worked as a nurse for 30 years, and I thank God for two things: one, that I shan’t need to do it for too much longer unless one or another set of shit-for-brains politicians manages finally to fuck up the NHS pension scheme; and two, that Britain recruits nurses from Africa and India where they still actually train them properly. It all started to go down the bed-pan washer in the 1980′s with a thing called Project 2000, when nurse training ceased to be an apprenticeship and became college-based, and every attempt at fiddling with it since has made it worse. Not only are we training nurses who are too grand to wash, bath or change a patient once they are qualified, we are recruiting them too grand to do it when they are training. And try asking them to learn how to do a medicine round safely, right amount of the right stuff in the right form by the right route to the right person so you don’t kill anyone…..

        • 121
          Anonymous says:

          Because less people will take that route, and we will have a shortage of nurses so we will need more from abroad. Simple.

          First he hit the plumbers with gas license. Then they tried for the water regulations act. Then the sparkies needed a licensing scheme. Then he let H&S go berserk on all other trades using ladders.

          Basically he made sure that it was useless to be time served. All that counted was the certificate and yearly fee. Handed out willy nilly by agencies.

          OH dear, so now no UK person wants to be a criminal and work outside the law. Instead we will import some temporary workers to fill the gap. They get immediate qualification as they say they are trained overseas. What could be wrong with that.

          • Builder says:

            We also had an absurd body – FENSA – (which sounds like it regulates receivers of stolen property) created to supervise window fitters. Anyone working in the trade has to pay a fee and wait ages to be ‘authorised’ and they have to issue totally meaningless certificates to householders after each job. The customer then has to safeguard this scrap and produce it if they are trying to sell their property!

            Plus our wise government has changed the law so that the common areas of blocks of flats are now designated as ‘workplaces’. This compels those living in flats to waste their money having fire risk and asbestos assessments undertaken. Naturally the real fire risk is within flats and very slight in the common spaces – plus the only major recent fire in a block of flats took place on Council-owned property – naturally they’re exempt from this red tape.

          • jgm2 says:

            My brother (a qualified nurse of the old school and TA paramedic) worked as a medic on a rig offshore Angola. The local Angolan economy is in the shitter and the locals decided it was unfair these foreign medics taking ‘their’ jobs so they raised shit with the government.

            It seemed that all rig medics would now have to be doctors since they were paid more than Angolan doctors. However this was not quite the problem it might at first seem because his company (major US oilco) was approached by none other than the professor of medicine at Luanda university who made it clear that for a consideration of a mere 5000USD per medic he would give them all full-on medical degrees from the university of Luanda. Genuine fucking certificates, results in the books fucking medical degrees signed off by the guy in charge.

            I shit you not.

            He would, according to the books and be a frikkin doctor. He could have come back to the UK and doubled his salary overnight with that piece of paper. And he’d do a better job than most of the fuckers too – but that’s not the point.

            UK nurses have to compete and cope with the outcome of that kind of shit every day in the UK. This is the reality of the NHS. No wonder the ‘real’ nurses are quitting in droves leaving the homegrown plastic nurses with their hands-off approach to nursing and the dodgily certified foreign nationals to it.

            It’s completely fucked. Massively over-manned, over-managed and completely fucked.

          • Anonymous says:

            Yep, my uncle a time-served but certificateless electrician spends most of his day on site showing certificated electricians how to change a plug.

          • grrr says:

            Not to mention these daft Energy Assessments when you go to sell your house. Not one person has asked me about them with the houses I’ve sold. never. Useless waste of money.

          • jgm2 says:

            There’s the apocryphal tale from work of a chap having to go and get his dynamite-handling certification (seismic exploration – for the use of) for some fucking Shell job. They love their certificates the Cloggies.

            Anyway he finds himself in a room with a few other doodle-buggers and some pencil-necks from Shell and this 12 year-old is going on about dynamite handling and safety and the chap says

            ‘That’s a load of shit…’

            ‘And what’, asks the 12 year-old, ‘is your experience with explosives’?

            ‘Well, at the age of 18 I enlisted with the British Army and six weeks later they parachuted me into France with a rucksack full of explosives and destonaters where I spent two years demolishing railways and bridges, then after the war I got a job building roads through the rockies…quarries…mine clearance in Libya…seismic explorationetc etc‘.

            A full thirty year potted CV of explosives handling followed by…

            ‘….And what is your experience handling explosives?’

            Oh, how we laughed.

            But the joke is on all of us. Being patronized by plastic ‘experts’ with plastic ‘degrees’ enforcing regulation enacted by plastic ‘socialists’ with plasticine ideals.

          • Hu Dong Fart says:

            Sure all tradesmen need CSCS cards you have to take a test to get and fork out 25 quid a time to take them and they only last every 5 years as well.

          • Dazed and confused says:

            I inspect shipping as part of my job. I have just been informed I have to have a new certificate and some ‘training’ (Beyond the reams of qualifications and experience I already have including the most senior qualification in the industry)

            T continue in my work I apparently have to enroll with a body of which I know little who will put this application to a committee who will decide if I can continue to do it.

            I have been in shipping for 32 years. If the committee say no I am screwed but the most sinister thing is there is little information about all of this and I have no idea who? or what qualifications and experience they have that sit on this committee and make the final decison?


        • 138
          barefootcontessa says:

          Secretly thay want to have peasants running around doing all the dirty work that nurses inevitably have to do now. They’ll be saving money. Compassion out the window. Nurses will be able to demand more pay, viz less nurses, more skivvys .

          • Anonymous says:

            MPs should be forced to go to a plastic university, incur a £30,000 debt and emerge with a useless piece of paper before they’re allowed to sit in parliament on mimimum wage.

          • Anonymous says:

            All potential MP’s should be forced to attend a plastic university, incur a £30,000 debt and leave with a useless piece of paper before being allowed to sit in parliament on minimum wage.

          • Nurse Bell says:

            You can say that again. Ding dong.

          • Hu Dong Fart says:

            They do, look at Milliband: first class honours degree in Politics and that is his only experience in the real world.

          • UK Fred says:

            Anon @10:35, why not insist that the MPs pay for the priviledge of sitting on the Green Benches, say £10,000 a year?

            And as part of their job, they should have to spend at least a week in a public facing role in every “service” in the public sector, so a week at an Inland Revenue Customer Enquiry Centre (Tax Office) dealing with real members of the public to see how badly they’ve screwed up the tax system, a week dealing with claimants, preferably druggies, in a Social Security Office, a week on nights, starting on a Friday night as a receptionist at a hospital accident and emergency unit, a week going to see farmers to dish out and explain their subsidy payments under the EU common agricultural policy, and a charge of, say £1000 for every time they make a mistake. If we hit them in the pocket then they might get the message.

        • 215
          Sir William Waad says:

          Will they take a course in Handwashing or will that be part of the optional Ph D course?

        • 226
          Joe Public says:

          But when the come to fill their “Ethnic-Minority / Gender-Equality” quota, they’ll be stuffed thro’ a distinct shortage of male WASPs.

        • 265

          You’re missing something there folks. Look to the last career – I won’t call it a profession – where this stunt was tried; teaching. They decided it must be an all graduate profession. Why? No real reason stated, as with the nurses. Just a bit of an esteem boost for teachers who, as we all know, tend to be a bit thick and not really capable of much else. But what happened then?

          Yes? You there at the back, speak up? THat’s right, teaching assistants happened then. Minimum wage mums intended – claimed – the be there to lighten the load who in fact are used by schools instead of trained and qualified teachers.

          Can you see where I’m going with this? Nursing assistants, nursing auxillaries, whatever they might be called – a way of getting 2nd class staff into frontline medical care, on the cheap.


          • Master Baiter says:

            Status is important.
            Why are teachers denigrated and have low status in the UK?
            Why do teachers have high status and repsect in countries with more successful economies such as France, Germany and Japan?
            Why does the UK have such a shortage of competent engineers?

          • Because British teachers are more concerned with promoting a social agenda than they are with educating and attaining excellence. To most British teachers “elitism” is a dirty word.

            There are exceptions of course – but I personally know of teachers I wouldn’t let shovel shit.

          • Hu Dong Fart says:

            Because your government is shit, and taxes them to death and regulates them to death when they have the skills to work ANYWHERE in the world.

            The rest of the world is laughing and profiting from Labours follies as the skilled work flocks to there shores. While the UK slips further down the mire.

          • Anonymous says:

            Teachers( who have never left school ) are adults amongst children and children amongst adults. Many of them have a fucking unreal sense of entitlement .

          • Great Granddad says:

            Funny thing that. This is what happened to the banks. From the late seventies two degrees was the requirement. Didn’t matter what they were, the only object was to capture future management from the top percentile of the population. Ended up with people like Fred the Shredding Machine, an accountant by trade, who knew less about banking than real bankers knew about quantum physics, running the banks. Not all of them were honest by a long way, and none of them had the training that they should have got by the time they were eighteen. Add to that the fact that they all had their focus on bonuses and the result is the system collapse that is laughingly called a recession. Meanwhile, we have King et al, the same people who got us into this mess, describing the shape and timing of the economy’s coming upward curve.

            As upward curves don’t occur after a system collapse, I advise my blogging friends not to hold their breath.

        • 315
          Trinny says:

          In a world where 50 of people are supposed to go to university, I’d quite like my nurses to come from the 50% who go rather than those that don’t.

          Now of course the 50% is a bloody ridiculous idea…..

        • 329
          Moley says:

          We are going back to the days of the workhouse and sweated labour in satanic mills.

          The workers get paid a pittance, borrow money from their employer at punitive rates, shop at the company shop, live in a company house, and have to pay all sorts of extra charges for essentials through compulsory deductions from salary.

          The only difference is that under socialism, the fat, bloated mill owner, has become a fat bloated socialist politician and the Government runs the mill.

          • Australian says:

            Indeed Moley – and all of that is *supposed* to be illegal under the Truck Acts. Then again, we know that this disgraceful shower consider that the law is only there for the purpose of controlling the “little people who do not matter”.

    • 80
      Oxymoron says:

      Mandelson the minister for truth?

      • 99
        Sukyspook says:

        Don’t forget that in OrwellSpeak, everything is reversed:

        Black is white
        Up is down
        Truth is . . . .

        This is how ‘they’ve’ got away with it all thus far.

        • 124
          jgm2 says:

          You forgot

          ‘Squandering is investment’
          ‘War is Peace’
          ‘Bust is boom’
          ‘Maladroit is incompetence’
          ‘Prudence is ban*r*pcy’
          ‘Freedom is 90 Day detention without trial’

          • Putin says:


            Impairment charges = bad debt
            The right thing to do = I have no clue what else to do
            In good faith = well,technically it was a crime but I didn’t mean it

          • Wayne Rooney says:

            Surely ‘maladroit is incompetence’. Isn’t it?

          • Hang The Bastards says:

            Promise you a referendum = fuck off you low life parasites

            lower taxes = less wages in your pocket

          • jgm2 says:

            Wayne, yeeeees, but in the same sense that

            ‘economic-with-the-actualite’ is ‘bare-faced-lie’.

            They’re euphamisms designed to down-play or obfuscate the truth. Or lies as a rational jury would term them. They’re designed to mislead. They are lies.

          • Biggest inversion of the truth?

            “He saved the economy”.


          • Lord Mandelson Minister of Bullshit says:

            I would dispute all of that.

          • Anonymous says:

            Wayne Rooney says:
            November 12, 2009 at 10:45 am
            Surely ‘maladroit is incompetence’. Isn’t it?

            Nah he’s the inside right for FC Barcelona I think

        • 141
          barefootcontessa says:

          Stasi is now reality.

    • 122
    • 377
      Jon1 says:

      Thanks Guido

      You’re a star. Thanks for being here.

      Please don’t go for any walks in woods!

      I’m sure you’ll get various invitations to go for walks before the next UK general election.

      Mirror Mirror on the newsstand who is fairest of all?

      O Lady Mirror, fair ye not be, Guido Fawkes is fairer far for all to see

  2. 2

    Minister of Information?

    Eurasia has always been at war with Eastasia

    • 13
      Road_Hog says:

      It’s all about control, it’s bloody scary.

      • 58
        Mike Naylor says:

        I’m no friend of Brown, but I don’t find this scary. Why don’t the right wing blogs give Brown the credit he deserves?

        • 63
          South of the M4 says:

          Well, because he does not deserve any actually.

        • 66

          They do. On a daily basis.

          Boom tsch

        • 79
          Anonymous says:

          Get out more….

        • 86
          Six Dinner Sid says:

          I’m no friend of Brown ‘cos he’s a nasty piece of work.

          • I hav writ a phew letters in advance now.

            Dear mrs insert name and check speling
            i am really surley that your ded kid has died?
            it is a great shame but when u r fighting four freedpom and dumbocracey then mishaps can occur.
            i woas really really upset when i herd about the loss of The Sun.
            again, it is a grate shame, but i’ll get over it.
            i wood have used a clean piece of paper but i am nearly blind and the dog’s gone out.
            She is campaioning for me in glassgow today.
            cheers mate
            love Gordon brown PM
            1 pack of sugar
            doz eggs
            Daily mirror
            euromillions lottery ticket

          • barefootcontessa says:

            You forgot the packet of Tunnocks’ Snowballs.

          • Ian Dales says:

            HAHAHA a man writes poorly and that is such an unusual situation I shall comment on it

          • Under a flower pot at the bottom of the garden until that c'nt brown calls the General Election says:

            And the bottle of buckie.

        • 142
          Putin says:

          I’m no friend of Mike Naylor, but do let him spout bovine scatology please.

        • 157
          Moley says:

          Been banned from the BBC for posting sixty times a day?

          Close the door on your way out.

        • 264
          Gordons favourite Butt Plug says:

          “I’m no friend of Brown, but he pays my wages” type comments are getting to be very commonplace.

          Think that the BBC, MoD, and all the other useless spin doctors are out in force to try and move public sentiment back towards the Socialist Assimilation programme.

          The only problem they have is that the burden on the productive sector is now over the tipping point and we can’t afford this largesse any more.

          I would actually like Labour to have just one more term in office.

          We would then spiral into the Abyss, and socialism would be consigned to the dustbin forever.

          They actually have managed to not only spend everyone else’s money, but are now mortgaging everyone else’s future earning for at least 2 decades.

          The chosen one in the US, is also playing the same game.

          The biggest problem however is Pensions, pensions, pensions.

        • 347
          Pontius The Pilot says:

          Fuck off Naylor you trolling twat!

  3. 3
    Alistair Watson says:

    Mandy – Minister of TROOF

    • 25
      Brown's a Tosser says:


    • 90
      Cassandra King says:

      Just wait until Cameron walks into No10 after the next election(?) one of his first acts will be to employ a certain Peter Mandelson in a top position in the next Tory administration. Of course it will not be CMDs idea rather the orders will come from Camerons new overlord bosses in Brussels, the EU bosses call the shots and their regional toadies like Cameron will salute and obey without question!

      The new PM will be nothing more than a cardboard cutout puppet with the strings pulled from Brussels, I cannot wait to see the looks on the faces of the legions of Tory voters when the real actual truth emerges about Cameron and his gang of fools/traitors/crooks/quislings/liars/charletons, when the penny drops that they have pinned their hopes on a cardboard cutout quisling of the new forth EU Reich.
      Dave will actually make Brown look decisive, bold,patriotic and courageous!

      • 102
        Sukyspook says:

        I believe Mandy will already be installed as EU Information Minister by the time Davey enters No 10 – and of course, the EU takes **’legal’ presedence over the UK. Cameron obviously knows this.

        SACK EM ALL NOW I say because they’ll all be redundant eventually anyway – if we let this treason continue.

        (**it might be ‘legal’ – but is it lawful?)

    • 170
      Bongo says:

      Minister for Poofs.
      Ooooh missis.

    • 203
      Sir William Waad says:

      My Mum would have said to the Lord High Everything Else “Peter, you’re so sharp, you’ll cut yourself.” So he has, of course, but he keeps being patched up. One day I hope it will prove politically fatal.

      • 232
        Sukyspook says:

        What about “you’re so sharp you’ve obviously been sleeping in the knife drawer” Sir William! The old ones are still the best eh!

      • 238
        Mr Ned says:

        Why just politically? I hope it will prove physically fatal for him.

    • 205
      Hang The Bastards says:

      WHERE did MANDY get his MILLIONS FROM ?

      • 230
        Sukyspook says:

        Ask Mandy about Jacob Rothschild – that might give us a clue.

        Scroogle them on holiday – I’d post a jpg but I’d be modded again…. :0(

        • 345
          barefootcontessa says:

          Please! please! Sun newspaper do an expose of that creepy, slimy, slithery, no-good, deceitful, unpopular, sun shines out of my arse Mandelscum!!

  4. 4
    Doc Trough says:

    Friends of Mandy have spun the Guardian the idea that the Dark Lord himself should give twice weekly televised briefings* in a new information minister role.

    “Good afternoon everyone. I’m Scott McLellan. Just think of me as an old sweat.

  5. 5
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    With nulabour it has always been about control and spin.

    • 31
      Sukyspook says:

      I agree – but it’s not ZNL who are driving the agenda – they’re just the ‘vehicle’, for now.

      • 41
        Brown's a Tosser says:

        Could we put the whole Government in that “vehicle” and shove it off a very high cliff.

      • 42
        Mr Ned says:

        Indeed! Signs are pointing to a new vehicle soon, a shiny new Cameron to carry the last of the British Sovereignty away to be sacrificed to his political masters.

        We have been witnessing a slow and deliberate treason take place with the full complicity of the entire establishment.

        • 113
          Sukyspook says:

          Indeed Mr Ned, indeed – and whilst I’m not proud of all the slaughter the UK has been involved in over the centuries, I was once proud, in the 60′s, 70′s and early 80′s – TILL THATCHER ‘did’ for the press – to be British with it’s fine morals, compassion and empathy for others and which still offered a future – especially for our children.

          The global elite’s wet-dream of a ‘global village’ is, in reality, nothing but a global ghetto…

    • 156
      solopolis says:

      It’s not ZanuLiebour you need to be watching. The New Labour project has been a device to create smoke and mirrors.

      Look at how quickly Blair dropped New Labour as soon as it outlived its purpose.

      • 237
        Sukyspook says:

        Yah Solopolis, but Bliar would be back in a heatbeat if there was power and ££££$$$$ in it.

        Sold his soul – he and the rest of these shitforbrain types.

  6. 6
    Throbber says:

    Was wondering the same thing….

  7. 7
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    To the same place I wish Brown go, up in smoke.

  8. 8
    Road_Hog says:

    I’d just like to congratulate Labour on winning today’s Glasgow NE by-election by a margin of 50,000 postal votes.

    • 18
      Brown's a Tosser says:


    • 19
      Winston Smith says:

      That news is embargoed until 2am.

    • 20
      Brown's a Tosser says:

      Because its probably going to be true.

    • 22
      Brown's a Tosser says:

      Mandy trying to help Royal Mail revenues again.

    • 44
      Brown's a Tosser says:

      What are the polls saying about this seat? Likely outcome?

      • 73
        jgm2 says:

        Labour hold.


        The polls show it and recent Scottish results show that you can add 10% to any Labour majority predicted in the polls.

        I’m sure the folk of Glasgow NE will want to reafirm their belief in a party that has held the seat for 80 years, governed the city for 80 years and rewards its loyal voters with a lower life expectancy than the good folk of Chad. I reckon if the Tories want to do well in Glasgow they’re going to have to promise to lower their life expectancy even further. It seems to be what motivates the Labour vote up there.

        Aye, Labour are shit. But if you vote for us we promise we’ll be even shitter. You’ll die of alcoholism in your 20′s instead of your 30′s. Aye and we’ll issue all your kids with their own set of knives when you register their birth. Aye, and we’ll make the schools even shitter so you learn fuck all except the jaundiced class-war ridden shit you love to suck up. Because we’ve listened and we know what you want.

        The Tories are just going to have to steal Labour’s clothes if they want to do well in Scotland. The trouble is I think the SNP have beaten them to it.

        • 103
          Brown's a Tosser says:

          Surprising that the SNP are not doing better. Clearly shows how stupid they truly must be north of the border. Still come May they can have GB back and they are welcome to him.

          • jgm2 says:

            The SNP are not doing better because in order to steal the Labour vote they had to promise even more free shit using magic money they don’t have. Now that the free shit hasn’t materialised under Salmond the lumpen doletariate have gone home to mummy.

            It’s a fucking awful place.

          • Brown's a Tosser says:

            I will not be visiting any time soon jgm2 you have put pay to that! Sounds as though Salmond is roaming in the gloaming.

      • 73
        The IMF are coming says:

        SNP conceding Labour win

      • 77
        Mike Naylor says:

        somebody will win

        • 167
          Engineer says:

          That’s what I like about this blog. The insightful, intelligent political comment and incisive wit.

      • 83
        Road_Hog says:

        This was Michael Martin’s old seat and he had about a 10,000 majority, the last article I read reckoned that Labour would retain it with about a 2,500 majority. I haven’t seen any polls recently.

        Labour want to win this one by the amount of people they have sent up there,

        Gordon Brown
        Sarah Brown
        Harriet Harman
        Alistair Darling
        Lord Adonis
        Douglas Alexander

  9. 9
    Nobody loves you when you are Brown and out says:

    Brown and Mandelson

    At least Hitler and Goebbels had the grace to commit suicide in THEIR bunker.

  10. 10
    Reichsführer für Peoples Enlightenment says: says:

    Please note my new address, commensurate with my new position and like myself, very grand:

    1 Mincing Lane

  11. 11
    hesanuglybugger says:

    Guido, PLEASE get rid of that Wayne Rooney thingy at the bottom.

  12. 14
    jgm2 says:

    Comical Mandy, Winston Shit, Lord Goebbels or some other Lord Haw Haw-based parody? It’s important to be clear what the generally accepted term for the Maximum Imbeciles new Minister for Lies and Misinformation will be.

    Otherwise we’ll simply revert to the generic term of c’unts or chumps and confusion may arise.

    • 21
      A medical term says:


    • 219
      Moley says:

      I can’t remember the title of the oily creep in the Arabian Nights type stories who always “advised” the King and eventually managed to take his place/ assassinate
      the King’s only son/ forcefully marry the beautiful princess to a crony who is a loathsome toad, smear his opponents and have them banished/cast into jail etc.

      Was it Grand Vizier?

      Curved dagger in belt, colourful silk robes, turban with big ruby in front, pointed slippers with curled toes, Hain’s makeup and an oily smile.

      That’s Mandelson.

      • 244
        Sukyspook says:

        Funny you should say that Moley – I noticed a couple of years ago that the so called ‘leader’ is just the figurehead – it’s the ‘adviser’ or ‘enabler’ who has the power over the figurehead. Thoth/Hermes/Mercury/Aladdin/Mandy/Goebbels – all play the same ‘role’.

        Mandy’s ‘go-between’ (oooh matron) position is about to be enlarged by his being made EU Information Minister. He became ‘business secretary’ so he could more easily sell the British people out to his enabling bankster/corporations and likewise he’ll be doing this with what was the ‘United Kingdom’ in his next ‘role’.

        I wouldn’t pee on him if he was on fire – in fact I’d probably throw some wood on him for good measure, the evil, slimy, treacherous, snakeoil salesman.

      • 259
        KEITH VAZOLINE says:

        I am not related to a Grand Vizier or even a TwentyGrand Vizier although that description ( oily creep, loathsome,smear ) is not exactly a million miles from what’s on my CV.

  13. 15
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    Its Twilight Zone on here this morning the link is back and all is well back here in Guidoland.

  14. 27
    Sukyspook says:

    So joining the dots then:

    “Lord Mandelson tipped as EU Information Minister”

    “New leadership needed to give EU key GLOBAL* role, says Mandelson”

    Business secretary says personalities as well as politics will have key role in giving union ‘meaningful’ status on world stage, *Friday 6 November 2009 14.18 GMT

    (*my emphasis-spook)

    Mandlesnake is enabling the ongoing and (not so) covert handover to the EUSSR and this change in ZNL info policy is merely dissolving the UK as we see our freedoms and what once masqueraded as demockery disappearing like the White Cliffs of Dover over the horizon…

    Only one word necessary. TREASON.

    • 64
      Nobody loves you when you are Brown and out says:

      Funny – Brown always talks of his hatred for “personalities” in politics and here’s Goebbels ranting about the opposite!

    • 144
      Anonymous says:

      Their favourite author understands the Ministry of Information to be a “beaucratic hellhole of dark hallways lined with towering shelves”

      I love it when reality copies fiction, and the Dark Lord does all he can to get into the Ministry of Information.

  15. 30
    Anonymous says:

    Peter Mandelson as Minister For Information? Parody is unnecessary.

    • 43
      nell says:

      Surely it will be the Minister for Disinformation.

      Apparently gordon thinks this is going to repair his image before the next GE.

    • 75

      ‘If I can come back – Then TONY can come back’

      • 92
        Brown's a Tosser says:

        They’re Great. I have always like Frosties pleased to see Tony is making a return.

    • 120
      Cassandra King says:

      The only place Mandelson is going after newlabours destruction at the GE is straight into a senior position with the Tory regime, does anyone think that Mandelson will sneak of into obscurity when newlabour dies?
      Mandelson is the EUSSR enforcement and compliance commissar for the UK, his job is to oversee the elected puppets of the EUSSR and make sure that every action of the next puppet quisling regime is in total compliance with the wishes of our new overlords.
      I happen to know for a fact that Mandelson is even now dictating to Cameron the terms of his new employment, all you Tories are in for the shock of a lifetime after the next GE, Dave only needs your vote just the once and then you will be betrayed and discarded like so much trash.

      • 207
        Emma Royd says:

        I have it on very good authority, that Lord Fondlebum of Boy is to become the new EU Commisioner for Uphill Gardening. It is reported that he has the best dibber since Alan Titchmarsh.

        • 282
          Mr Ned says:

          ’tis true. He is the Rothschilds enforcer in the UK.

          Why has nobody killed him yet? OH yeah, the British are now dumbed down, unpatriotic wimps, cowards and losers.

          Wingeing and moaning and bitching over their keyboards and praying that somebody else will take a lead and “do something”, but not on a work-day ‘cos I can’t make it. Oh and not on Saturday, cos the football is on, and not on sunday, ‘cos I go to the inlaws for my Sunday lunch.

          YES I fully and shamefully and honestly INCLUDE myself in the above description.

          Nope, unless we all unite and vote these twats out of office in their entirety, we are all fucked, cos there is not a real revolutionary bone left in any of us.

          I know I am a deluded optimist, but I hope that, just once, people will get off their flabby and cosseted arses and kick these shysters, criminals and crooks from power, Labour and Tory alike! THEY ARE THE FUCKING SAME!

          This is the ONLY chance we have to save our sovereignty from the treason that is currently being finalised against us.

          As I respected the two minutes silence for the brave and tragic victims of the past centuries wars and the massive sacrifice that was made by over a million of our servicemen to defend OUR Sovereignty, I was deeply ashamed that far too many of my generation appear to be not even prepared to cast a single, simple ballot to defend the same thing. No more that 2 minutes of your time to save a nation that over a million have faced machine-gun fire to protect!

          It is a great shame that Cameron has finally proven himself to be complicit in this treason by refusing to reverse it. That Cameron has refused to defend our sovereignty in the only way that can feasibly be attained shows us clearly that Brown and Cameron are on the same side and it is NOT OUR SIDE!

          Well, even if it is a wast of time, even IF labour win, even IF it becomes a miserable death to this once great nation, I shall cast my vote to save my country.

          I cannot cast a vote in favour of this country by voting labour or conservative or liberal, for they are ALL perpetuating this treason.

          If I vote labour I vote to endorse treason.
          If I vote liberal I vote to endorse treason.
          If I vote Conservative, I vote to endorse treason.

          Tories, wake up! Non-voters, WAKE UP!

          • Despot Dave says:

            Well said. This is last chance saloon to save UK democracy. Vote out the LibLabCon trick, at all costs. Dodgy Dave is just another Brussels puppet, groomed by the NWO group. WAKE UP, EVERYONE…

          • North, but not Scotland says:

            Most of the brave genes were carried by those who were destroyed by German machineguns, and the genes that are now in the majority are like those of slipperyweaseluntrustworthyc untstraw

        • 286
          Randy Bumgartner (US) says:

          I have a position for him.

    • 134
      Brown's a Tosser says:

      Parody shotgun more like.

    • 242

      I’ve seen the term “Parody Singularity” used to describe events like this.

      So obscene, they are impossible to parody.

  16. 34
    jgm2 says:

    Slightly O/T

    There was a program on BBC last night called ‘The Armistice’. It was actually a potted history of WWI with more attention than normal paid to the German Generals Ludendorf and Hindenburg. It seems that Ludendorf was a meticulous micro-manager who eventually positioned himself to be de-facto ruler of Germany. It seems also that he lived in a bubble of sychophants, panicked easily and made rash decisions which he was then too stubborn to countermand.

    It seems too that when he might have negotiated an armistace from a position of strenght he overplayed his hand militarily and was eventually forced to accept unconditional surrender.

    The Cambridge Professor guy actually made the comparison to ‘some Prime Ministers’.

    Watching the critique of Ludendorf it was as if some giant cosmic comedian had reached into the bowels of Hell, resurrected him and given him to John and Bunty Brown in 1951 just for the sheer entertainment of watching the jackass make the same mistakes all over again.

    He didn’t disappoint.

    • 47
      jgm2 says:

      Forgot to mention – when it all went tits up for Ludendorf he blamed seditious elements for undermining the great German nation.

      That’ll be the yanks and the bankers then.

      Great program.

    • 70
      Dark Brown says:

      Verrrry interesssting

    • 115
      1800 Cunliffe-Arsely says:

      They’re fairly standard human failings that can easily surface.
      Some of those failings are even positively selected for by “politics”.

    • 147
      Not long till labour gone says:

      and the home office chose this day to tell the country that it would be keeping DNA profiles of innocent people for 6 years, in the hope this news would get buried under the Armistice day coverage. Bastards!

      • 191
        Anonymous says:

        The news that inquests have been replaced by secret inquiries in certain cases has also been buried.

        • 275
          skippy says:

          David Kelly never did have an inquest, wonder if they’re worried someone, some day, will think to hold one?

        • 287
          Mr Ned says:

          It was on the radio this morning. It’s nothing to worry about of course, for it shall almost never be used. Except to cover-up extra-judicial executions of inconvenient witnesses perhaps?

          Indeed it is a very useful tool for the state to have as it builds up its totalitarian toolkit. No totalitarian state would be complete without the ability to murder its political dissidents with impunity, now, would it?

          • jgm2 says:

            Nor without suspending Habeus Corpus. It would need that. And you’d need a long period of detention without charge too.

            And they’d need to do away with the right to silence and the double-jeopardy rule. And because even after two trials for the same offence when you’ve taken away the protection of double-jeopardy you might still not be able to get the verdict you want then you’d need to do away with jury trials.

            And if you’re going to want to know where people are at all times and be sure they’re doing only sanctioned activities you’re going to need to spy on them 24/7. And in order to be sure of who people are they’ll have to be issued with compulsory ID cards.

            Oh, look.


            Even if we imagined for one moment that this outcome was not their intention the very fact that they have put these tools of oppression in place for a future regime to abuse shows they have no concept of what can go wrong. Just as they glibly rode the UK into the biggest economic clusterfuck in living memory because they simply are incapable of seeing the gaping holes in their argument. Or, more likely, know full-well the gaping holes but are determined to press on with their pre-determined evil-doing.

          • Mr Ned says:

            Correct. As most totalitarian states appear very slowly from the shadows, created by deliberate and deceitful “false flag” tactics as justification. We are as frogs slowly boiled alive in a pot.

            We are brought up and indoctrinated in school and by the mainstream media to believe that we live in a democracy and have freedom and that totalitarian dictatorships come about quickly from violent military coups and they only happen to other countries and that this is something that cannot happen here, meanwhile, they build up their totalitarian toolkit, bit-by-bit. It is very nearly a completely full toolkit now. When it finally is full, it will be too late to protest, or change it or do a damn thing about it!

            That is why the price of freedom is eternal vigilance. I have been vigilant and every-time they add another tool, and I speak out about it and its dangers, some far too trusting pillocks decide I am a conspiracy nutter.

            Well it will be soon too late to NOT deny the truth. As telling the truth will become a revolutionary act in itself! By the time many of these people WILL want to acknowledge the truth, it may be far too late to be allowed to acknowledge the truth.

    • 183
      Yard Arm says:

      Saw that too and got the ref. to some Prime Ministers. The big difference between Ludendorff and Brown is that until he cracked Ludendorff was actually quite good at his job unlike the Prime Hoonister who combines the utility of an ashtray on a motorbike with the panache of a fart in a space suit. A ‘ man ‘ who has been good for fuck all ever since his Uni trick of going to parties with a carrier bag of bricks and empties.

      Bricks and empties: a summary of his economic ruin. And was his mother really called Bunty ? Bunty ? The mum`s called Bunty and the son`s a c`unty.

  17. 39
    Carry On Don't Lose Your Head (1967) says:

    I picture Mandy now:

    “Their infidel Tories are committing suicide by the hundreds at the gates of Downing Street! Be assured, the Bunker is safe, protected!”

  18. 40

    Remorse letters- ready in advance.

    Deer Mrs {Insert name of mutha here}
    I is reely surley sawry sorry for the end of {insert name – check spellin} the ded kid.
    When i wroted the letters i got in sum bother andt I deeply regret the loss of The Sun.
    We are all fighting for piece, dumbocracy and the labour way and your boy/girl died a heroic death for whatever reason that wii are fighting four this week.
    Sorry again, and I wood have used a kleen piece of paper but its very late and i’m a bit blind and the dog’s gone out. She’s campaigning for me in Glasgow today.
    Lots of luv
    Broon Brown PM
    Strawberry jam
    1 doz eggs
    packet of biscuits – something chocolatey
    dog food
    magnifying glass
    { Euromillions ticket}

  19. 48
    WSH says:

    With our government determined to bring in laws to criminalise homophobia (and not before time!) all you sick gay-haters who post regularly on here had better watch out. Your nasty little homophobic sneers will not be tolerated any longer. You will be breaking the law and can expect a visit from the police.


    • 56
      Doc Trough says:

      Will they be wearing pink?

    • 101
      Cassandra King says:

      Oooooh get you ducky, well shut that door!

    • 109

      Cum along quietly now.

    • 133
      jay says:

      I’m a Christian or a Muslim, surely my rights to believe that homosexuals must burn in hell should be respected?
      Or is PCism just for a select designate group?
      PC will eat itself, but before that, fools like you will be tied up by increasingly conflicting bullshit.

      • 145
        Engineer says:

        If you’re a Muslim, that’s OK.
        If you’re a Christian, please hand yourself in to the nearest Police station for instant arrest, trial and imprisonment.

    • 139
      Engineer says:

      Inspector, “Constable Humphreys, are you free?”

      Constable (mincing rapidly across room), “I’m free!”

    • 280
      skippy says:

      Presumably this law will criminalise the publication and or distribution of the Bible and the Koran, and kick Sharia law in to touch once and for all. So maybe not so bad after all

    • 296

      “The law, intended to protect gay people from threatening behaviour,”

      The BBC: barefaced lying, it’s what we do.

      Threatening behaviour is already an offence – funny the BBC don’t know this. What *this* law intends to do is make *any* criticism of homosexuality, or homosexual lifestyle, illegal, no matter how quietly or reasonably put.

    • 314
      Mr Ned says:

      WSH, I have reported you to the police for your blatant, inflammatory and offensive hate speech against heterosexuals.

      This PC stuff could be fun… I can’t wait for the police to start carting off homosexual’s for THEIR intolerant hate speech.

      They’ll be crying and moaning and bitching then won’t they? That is the trouble with these people, they can’t stand it up ‘em!

      Hang on, er on second thoughts….

      As for the PC label “homophobic”, a phobia is an irrational fear. Not a rational and natural revulsion. The two are very different! I know many people that have no fear of homosexuals whatsoever, but find the thought of engaging in any sexual act with another person of the same gender to be utterly revolting. That is NORMAL for them. EQUALLY and EXACTLY the SAME as homosexuals finding the thought of heterosexual sexually acts repulsive.

      I feel that so long as homosexuals are allowed to live their lives and express their views openly AND heterosexuals are allowed to live their lives, and express their views openly, then there is no problem.

    • 386
      Brown's a Tosser says:

      WSH: Oh you are awful, but I like you not.

  20. 52
    Dark Brown says:

    BROWN on BBC News Channel in a few minutes re IMMIGRATION

    No doubr to frighten the BandPean supporters voting today in Glasgae !

    • 359
      Mr Ned says:

      Yup, he has has MI5 steal one of Nick G’s speeches and is delivering it himself.

      What a prize fuckwit!

  21. 57
    The Sleeper says:


    So..The MoD has given it’s hard pressed staff almost £50million in bonuses.


    Our soldiers are dying…..

    We can’t afford more helicopters….

    Gordon Brown is hammering the Banks about bonuses…..

    Private sector Companies are going bust….

    Staff in the private sector that have jobs are not getting bonuses…..

    Normal people are losing their homes….

    The Country is the last one remaining in recession.

    Ah!….Labour IS working.

    • 88
      TheCourtOfPublicOpinion says:

      There are many, many pensioners in the UK who actually do have to choose between heating and eating. As winter approaches lack of either will kill many. They fought through wars to make the country a better place.

      The £400 no questions *extra* “food” allowance which MP’s trough alone would cover both.

    • 93
      Six Dinner Sid says:

      So..The MoD has given it’s hard pressed staff almost £50million in bonuses.

      Its the right thing to do.

      • 114
        Brown's a Tosser says:

        Its right for Britain and its right for the economy. Sure it is.

      • 116
        The Sleeper says:

        “Home Secretary Alan Johnson told GMTV that MoD civilians did “difficult and sometimes dangerous” jobs. ”

        Well that’s OK then….50000 staff get bonuses for doing difficult and dangerous work shuffling paper clips.

        Makes me sick that these incompetent fools don’t understand the real world,or can read the mood of the Nation.

        • 132
          Anonymous says:

          Yep those polished granite floors can be very dangerous if you fall on them.

        • 224
          Sukyspook says:

          It’s not the paper clips Sleeper – it’s those staples – SHEESH – and what about that sharp paper??
          Stationery = Satan’s tools – like the “guvmint” (you think I’m kidding??)

          • Mr Ned says:

            I know I have nearly had my leg blown off by IED’s whilst walking down Whitehall on MANY occasions now… Where’s MY bonus???


      • 162
        Anonymous says:

        I assume the argument that without the bonuses they would all become paper pushers for a mercenary army must have been used.

        What exactly was the bonus targets? The cost savings only killed 5% more troops.

        Imagine WWII and you got bonuses for finishing building a Spitfire on time. We are either fighting a war, or this is normal. You can not have it both ways.

    • 118
      Mitch says:

      Al-Beeb reporting the average payment is £1,000. So are there 50,000 people in the MOD on a bonus scheme?

      Or in fact do SOME staff get much, much more?

      • 160
        Brown's a Tosser says:

        More spin and misinformation. 50,000 people in MoD departments. I can see some clear evidence for public spending cuts.

    • 127
      backwoodsman says:

      And we need one MOD bod to every two forces personnel. A truly mind bogling over allocation of backroom resources.

    • 130
      Bounty Hunter says:

      Why are the pen pushers paid a Bonus for merely doing the job they are paid to do?

      Perhaps they could pay soldiers a bounty for every Taliban scalp they bring back?

      • 149
        The IMF is coming says:

        I am at a complete loss as to how a Civil servant can be incentivised to earn a bonus?

        If they were an ex gratia payment for doing something outwith contrct of employment then marginally ok, but a bonus??

        Budget saving – don’t think so. Sorry still can’t think of anything

        • 168
          Brown's a Tosser says:

          Have to agree just do not get it. They should be thankful they are still in a job. Or should I say jobsworth.

        • 243
          Moley says:

          The bonus is for obeying orders however stupid, insane, illegal, immoral, and unethical they might be.

          Licking your line managers arse at every available opportunity.

    • 164
      The Sleeper says:

      Ah..some civil service union bod is explaining that the recipients are mostly working alongside troops in a war theatre…tens of thousands of them.

      “we’re very comfortable with that”..said shop steward.

      Um….9200 troops in Afganistan….50000 MoD staff alongside them……

      Yep..I can buy that.

      Fucking cretin!

      • 198
        tat says:

        the MOD staff who received these bonuses received them for cutting military budgets.
        so the MOD public servants have directly profited from the deaths of British soldiers.
        so we have moved beyond rewarding public servants for failure and we are now paying them to kill our troops. the MOD payments are death bonuses.
        ’tis blood money.

        • 220
          Sukyspook says:

          Indeed TAT – blood money it is – and if we go waaaaay down the rabbit hole I believe that many would be HORRIFIED at just who is pulling strings and profiting from the “sacrifice” of our brave but mislead (imo) troops.

          It’s all truly despicable.

          Troops home now to defend us from this ongoing TREASON – pretty soon it just might be too late…

          • Mr Ned says:

            Suky, you are right, so I would think that there is no need for “quotes” around the word “sacrifice”.

            We both know exactly what the meaning is and it should be capitalised if anything.

        • 253
          The Sleeper says:

          Never thought of it that way tat…

          That is what this Government has come to be….immoral,illogical,illicit….

          Just bloody sick!

        • 353
          Pontius The Pilot says:

          Spot on tat. Fucking spot on

    • 209
      Sukyspook says:

      I can’t believe that any so called “government” department actually gets a bonus – my Dad, Mum and I worked in the civil service over the years and there was NEVER a bonus between us…

      Unless this has something to do with the ongoing covert privatization of “government” depts a la MOD/Qinetiq deal in 2001 – Qinetiq were ‘taken over’ shortly after by the ‘C’ Group – ask John Major for details.

      • 364
        Mr Ned says:

        So we, the taxpayer, are funding private corporations through our taxes. This is also known as corporatism, or fascism.

        At least with the BT and British Gas privatisations, those companies were sold into the private sector, and then we paid privately for them.

        These days, the Government privatise the service and we STILL pay over the odds for it through our taxes! That is fascism!

        • 369
          Australian says:

          It has been happening for years, Mr Ned. Just think of the illegal TV tax that so many people foolishly believe they have to pay each year!

    • 252
      Sir William Waad says:

      The bonuses must be on the principle that if you can recruit ten more mouseclickers to the Ministry of Defence, you get a bonus, and if any of those mouseclickers can recruit further mouseclickers, you get a bonus based on their bonuses and so on…..

      It’s all part of the Socialist idea that you can base an economy on people sending each other emails and reporting back to the Enablement Steering Action Group for Across-The-Board Prioritization Goals on the matter of the Equality-Assessment Toolkit (Version 4.2).

  22. 60
    English Liberation Front says:

    The (civil service) Labour trolls don’t get into the office very early.

  23. 61
    TheCourtOfPublicOpinion says:

    OT, but I wonder if Ed Balls put in another claim of £33 for poppy wreaths this year, and how happy he is that it’s something we shall never forget?

  24. 82
    Nobody loves you when you are Brown and out says:

    Brown looking even worse since Tuesday’s press conference!

    And now;

    a complete U turn on our last 12 years policy.

  25. 91
    Immigration U Turn says:

    Brown “gets it”!!!


  26. 95
    Anonymous says:

    Did Brown say he did not need the Mortgage protection schemes yesterday at PMQ?

    And today BBC reports: “homes repossessed rose 3%”

    Obviously they are the non-labour voters.

    • 370
      Australian says:

      Described by the ever “impartial” BBC as “only a small rise” in repossessions.

      So that’s OK then, isn’t it?!

  27. 100

    Labour = Pantomime Democracy.

    • 214
      tat says:

      incorrect ACO: labour = elective dictatorship.

      • 254

        Who elected Gordo? Tony was going to “serve a full term”.

        • 269
          tat says:

          the labour party rules that allowed gordon to stand are a part of the elective dictatorship that the political parties have knowingly and willingly conspired to bring into being.
          google Lord Hailsham, he is the man who coined the phrase elective dictatorship.
          and he was bang on the money.

  28. 104
    Dark Brown says:

    When did the words MIGRATION & IMMIGRATION become interchangeable ??

    Migration is softer than IMMIGRATION / IMMIGRANT

  29. 107
    Time to leave says:

    Brown now making a complete U turn – the cynical rants of an unelected Scottish nonentity representing a Scottish constituency in an English Parliament while Scotland has it’s own Parliament.


  30. 117
    Time to leave says:

    Oh God – he’s gurning a la You Tube video – cannot watch him anymore.

  31. 126
    The Sleeper says:


    “We are taking action against employers who employ illegal immigrant workers”

    Errrrrr…Baroness Scotland?????

  32. 135
    Where's the exit? says:

    Blimey – just paused the shot of Brown picking up his speech papers – the font is huge.

    An average of 4 or 5 words per line.

    He’s going to need to call this election within 6 months time or he won’t be able to see the exit sign at Downing St.

  33. 148
    A product of a modern education system says:

    At the end of the day, it is all completely irrelevant – it’s a smokescreen to hide the fact that the various EU treaties that One Eyed Gay McBrown signed away all their powers.

    I found this story which puts it all in perspective.

    The entire Tory economic package for the next 5 years have already been targeted and some parts already approved by the EU – they want 60% public debt to GDP by 2014 – does it matter who is in power here? – of course not – but you can Twitter about who is sleeping with who to your hearts content if it helps hide the real power brokers! :)

    • 248
      Anonymous says:

      I like the link to the real EU document. It seems we are being monitored for our own good. Why not erase any differences between the countries?

      That way we can all fail together! There is nothing like harmonization to cause oscillations. Autonomous different systems working together are much more stable.

      This is the recipe for real boom and bust.

    • 279
      The UK is becoming East Germany circa 1976 says:

      The “British Government” is little more than a regional administrative authority, now the Lisbon coup has been ratified.

      The British people, kept so long in the dark by a barrage of lies from our political elite, are in for a very rude awakening, as to who runs the country from now on in.

      Clue: It aint the clowns who you vote for any longer.

      • 368
        Mr Ned says:

        Unless we all unite on polling day to take OUR country back from them!

        The media and tory spinmeisters will be out in force to terrify you into believing that there is a difference between tory and labour and a vote for anyone else will let those nasty labour fuckwits in, (just so the nasty tory fuckwits can take over)

        BUT if we, the pissed off, over taxed, abused, voters actually united to vote against the mainstream, we could end the duopoly and get our country back.

        We, the pissed off voters, OUTNUMBER labour and tory supporters COMBINED! Have a little bit of courage and vote the criminals OUT!

  34. 159
  35. 182
    Richie Benaud says:

    Welcome to a drizzly Westminster this morning.
    Number 10 was very angry yesterday with the Sun in his eye. He blamed the opposition.
    Consequently the Number 1 spinner, Mandy has made the TV deal pie in the Sky and the ashes of the deal has gone to the B team.

    Expect some play like this

  36. 188
    Rip Van Winkle says:

    Said all along – the Lobby and the political press IS the problem. Politicians, for all the ages, are deceitful, spin machines who dole out questionable ‘facts’ and ‘figures’.

    Difference now is. who the fuck is putting the difficult questions to these scumbags? Anywhere? Anyone? Sure, Toenails does as he’s told, so does the whole of Aljabeeba. But there’s a whole mass media out there that can bring this whole lying edifice down overnight.

    But where are they?

    • 218
      It's all Balls says:

      Why work for a living when you can deliver your daily quota of words by reproducing ‘Government fact sheets’ (an intended oxymoron).

  37. 194
    streamfisher says:

    Gordon stood up and lied in the house of commons (nothing unusual about that you may say) about Obama imminently deploying more troops to Afghanistan, it was subsequently stated by a Whitehouse spokesman that no decision had been made and any decision taken would be weeks away. Government spin merchant: “Gordon was talking in the vernacular”.

    Chambers Dictionary definition…
    vernacular noun (usually the vernacular) the native language of a country or people, as opposed to a foreign language that is also in use.

    Methinks the foreign language of this lot is to tell the truth.

  38. 197
    Sir William Waad says:

    “Patron: ….a wretch who supports with insolence, and is paid with flattery.” (Johnson) – it’s the same relationship between senior pols and the Lobby.

  39. 202
    Trev says:

    The Government is becoming a 3-ring circus.

    Televising the Lobby, especially with mandy in charge will just be a music hall turn.

    Any general televising of briefings will just push the real briefings into the back rooms (smoke-free rooms?). The televised briefings will just be propaganda events for the govt.

    • 231
      Doc Trough says:

      The faux consultations will, as always, conclude that people are happy with that Trev. With these televised lobby briefings you are spoiling us Lordgrafvonfreiherrueberreichsinformationsschwuleraffenhaenger!

  40. 206
    Anonymous says:

    I’m fed up with looking at that gormless fuckers fat face.

  41. 212
    Grandaughter of the Regiment says:

    Somewhat off topic but I got in rather late yesterday and watched a recording of the Daily Politics/PMQs. Did I really hear Ben Bradshaw remark, apropos of the Brown/Janes/Sun debacle – which let us remind ourselves concerns the death of a young soldier in a war sanctioned by the PM – that we have got to the stage where someone’s cat can’t be run over without Gordon Brown being blamed?

  42. 213
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Look at Millibands Wikipedia page !

  43. 223
    Emma Royd says:

    There must be an ‘elf and safety’ dimension to it.

  44. 236
    RestandBthankful says:

    BBC Scotland spinning again. For the past few weeks it’s been reported that Michael Martin stepped down because of the expenses fiasco – since yesterday the spin is that he stepped down because of his move to the House of Lords!

    Is there a local election somewhere?

  45. 241
    RestandBthankful says:

    BBC news broadcasters fawning over Mandlebum is sickening. Yesterday on BBC News – Sorry to keep you waiting Lord Mandelson, thank you for being so patient Lord Mandelson. ………………….. Pass me a sick bag.

    • 274
      Toady says:

      HUMPHREYS: “would you be so kind as to comment on those lying, traitorous bastards at The Sun?”

      MANDLEBUM: “of course”

  46. 245
    aswinsterstale says:

    I’ve just read the FT piece from the daily links regarding the brown/murdoch alleged “backlash”.
    What a load of crap, yeah there may be a backlash from the chattering classes, but it’s not thier sons bleeding to death, it’s ours.
    That tape is devastating on the street where I live, and on my street more people read the sun that the fucking FT.
    I accept that Murdoch will be aware of the tight line between a critic of brown and damaging the cause for a war he is probably in favour of, but brown advising murdoch, get real. m*rdoch maybe a prick but he certainly not a stupid prick

    • 278
      Engineer says:

      You can predict Murdoch’s response, can’t you. He might phrase it more diplomatically, but it’ll be along the lines of, “I’m in business to make a profit, and I can’t afford to back losers. Get over it, sucker.”

    • 281
      The Sleeper says:

      Meanwhile it’s being reported that Brown has got his revenge on Murdoch by putting The Ashes on terrestrial TV…

      Well…that’ll be making Murdoch consider suicide,won’t it.

    • 291
      The Sleeper says:

      Forgot to mention Murdochs’ success rate vs Browns’..

      Murdoch:..News Corp is the 2nd largest media group in the World (behind Disney!!)

      Brown:..succeeded in bankrupting the United Kingdom.

  47. 247
    RestandBthankful says:

    Government planned on cutting TA training to save money. Today we hear that the very same Government have been giving MoD civil servants £45M in bonuses.

    Apparently we have just as many MOD civil servants as we have soldiers!!!!!!!

    In the meantime we wait and wait and wait to make a decision on troup numbers until Omaha makes a decision first.

    Labour = indecisive

    • 273
      Chartered accountant says:

      Professor C. P. Parkinson (of ‘Parkinson’s Law’ – ‘work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion’ – fame) demonstrated ‘how the Admiralty had swollen as the number of ships and sailors in its care shrunk’.

      No change then. Except, fortunately, the sailors weren’t be killed or wounded when he wrote.

    • 298
      Simon r says:

      Actually I heard we have 2 civil servants in the MOD for every soldier on the front line.

      • 332
        Gordons favourite Butt Plug says:

        Given that there are 180,000 MoD direct employees including affiliated organisations. that would be 18:1.

        There are only just under 10,000 front line troops.

        And the MoD spent 2.3 BILLION on Whitehall refurbishment at the turn of the Century. Look it up.

    • 309
      streamfisher says:

      Apparently somebody justified these bonuses by saying it can be quite dangerous working in an M.O.D office, ever present threat of stapler through finger etc, must keep a sense of proportion…Not.

    • 313
      Aintwortha shit says:

      Why should I send more soldiers out to Afgurnistan now?
      Some of the one’s I already sent are still alive.

  48. 251
    RestandBthankful says:

    150,000 patients being given unnecessary anti psychotic medication resulting in 1,800 unnecessary deaths.

    A clinical director for dementia to be appointed – McDoom would be an ideal candidate!

  49. 256
    Chumley Warner says:

    Mandelson is just dead boring as a Politician – I think he would be far more interesting if he worked in a cheese shop – he could then wear some nice checked trousers and perhaps a purple beret

  50. 258
    Comical Mandy says:

    My minions must be busy on the comments pages this morning, none here so far.

    We know who you are, we’ve got your number

    • 268
      Bad Ali Campbell says:

      Don’t worry, boss, I’ve got them monitoring the Mail, Express, Sun and Telegraph – you know, the forces of Conservatism. Also got a couple on the Beeb as usual to help out our mates there. Don’t know where that little skiver Master Baiter has got to, probably drooling over that picture of you and Gordon again. I’ll kick his backside when he shows up.

    • 277
      Mike Naylor says:

      thnk I’ve been overdoing it, boss. Banned from the Beeb. Can you send that list of nom-de-plumes again so they can re-instate me? Cheers.

  51. 267
    Obama is a twat says:

    The thought of seeing Toenails, Sir Michael Shite and Toilets Maguire arse licking Mandy makes me feel sick

  52. 276
    763 says:

    I seem to remember that during my military service (Baor Artillery, 1970/1985)
    there were 13 soldiers per civil servant . Not being a rocket scientist i find it
    difficult understand why it’s now nearly one to one. jobs for the boys perhaps ?

    • 327
      Engineer says:

      It’s the nature of bureaucracies. They breed and expand exponentially.

      The NHS is the same – what do we want nurses for anyway? They cost money and absorb too much administrative time. Need to get rid of patients as well, then the organisation would run a lot smoother.

      Same with the armed forces. If soldiers didn’t demand helicopters, we wouldn’t have to divert precious resources and administrative time to finding out why we can’t supply them. Anyway, aren’t the armed forces trained to improvise?

      You’d laugh if it wasn’t so serious.

    • 339
      Moley says:

      It’s because computers have made administration much more efficient.

      I thought everyone knew that.

      It takes an awful lot of time to do all the necessary work recording and read all those minutes, circulars, and “what to say” briefing notes.

      And don’t forget the meetings.

      And health and safety.

      And the days off for Union business.

      And compulsory sick leave.

      Half an hour for “Coffee” at 11.00am.

      One hour for lunch.

      Half an hour for “Tea” at 3.00pm.

      Home at 5.00pm on the dot after a hard days work.

      I think we need another ten people boss, we simply can’t keep up.

  53. 301
    The IMF is coming says:


    When Gordon is in his retirement and looks back on his time as PM I think there will be one over riding memory for him:

    Hosting the G20 at the Excel Exhibition centre. The anticipation as a Limo drew up. The excitement at a few snatched words with Sarko, Silvio, Angela and those other ones. The lovely photographs as he waited in a concrete corridor at the back door of an exhibition centre. ‘They love me, I am a true Statesman of the World, they can’t take this away from me – I will be lauded’

  54. 305
    • 310
      Mike Naylor says:

      I’m no fan of Brown, but don’t these familes realise he has a mild eyesight problem? What is their minor inconvenience compared to his suffering? I for one am glad he has sacrificed his time to lead us.

      • 341
        Moley says:

        “I think you have already said that.

        Five thousand times, on the BBC blogs, and all the newspaper comment sections.

        Go forth and multiply.

    • 320
      Another Mike Naylor says:

      I’m no fan of Brown, but how do I get a ticket to Mad Hattie’s tea party?

  55. 308
    Gordon Brown says:

    Who says Labour isn’t working ??

    The number of households receiving benefits worth more than £15,000 a year has doubled since Labour came to power, figures showed today.

    Welfare Reform Minister Jim Knight said 1.2 million households were given state handouts in excess of £15,000 a year in 2007-08, compared with 600,000 in 1997-98.

    Households receiving more than £20,000 a year trebled in that time, from 100,000 in 1997-98 to 300,000 in 2007-08.

    The figures do not include income from tax credits, Mr Knight told shadow work and pensions secretary Theresa May in a written Commons answer.

    Data was taken from the nationally representative Family Resources Survey, which includes benefits administered by the Department for Work and Pensions, HM Revenue and Customs, Service Personnel and Veterans Agency and local authorities.

    “The amount of benefits a family receives is entirely dependent on its individual circumstances,” Mr Knight added.

    I trust you will all join me tomorrow in Glasgow North East to drink to a Labour victory and the cruhing of the Conservative vote

  56. 318
    corky says:

    Saw this one earlier,the police chiefs have produced a 93 page book on how to ride a byke for policeman training.
    you couldn,t make it up.

    • 349
      The Sleeper says:

      Apparently,it includes a section on ‘deployment at a junction’..

      Which in English means..’turning right or left’.


    • 351
      Moley says:

      This degree of negligence is unforgiveable.

      The police chiefs have not issued instructions on how to read the book without getting paper cuts, nor have they made it clear that officers should not read the book whislt they are actually riding; they should make a slowing down signal with their right arm when it is safe to do so, pull into the curb, withdraw their book from their pocket and then seek the necessary guidance.

      If the topic is not covered in the 93 pages, (provided they have been cleared and issued with a paedo-watch certificate), officers should find a ten year old child and ask them.

  57. 324
    BBC - run by apprentices says:

    V Derbyshire on 5Live has just cut the CEO of the BBC to tiny shreds and thrown away the pieces.

    This piece of crap reckons it IS worthwhile for all of us to pay £250 for the producers of The Apprentice to have a booze-up to celebrate the success of the show.She says that we WOULD all like to pay for them to celebrate (over and above the licence fee).

    Surely this means that we can only hope that every programme the BBC airs is a load of bollocks and a pile of tripe,so as to avoid further “support’ for their boozy celebrations?

    Hmmm – so the show is headed by a Labour-appointed purveyor of shoddy goods,featuring nonentities with no future and no ability.

    Sounds just about right.

  58. 326
    Lizzie says:

    Hell, how many jobs can “one man Mandelson” handle, he lives up to his title of Lord High and Mighty and Everything Else.

  59. 348
    barefootcontessa says:

    We had the ‘pleasure’ of one of Cherie’s hand maids (F Campbell) on the Politics show today. What’s happening to the guests on this show? Phil Woolas pops up nearly every day talking his usual drivel, and the next guest is going to be – wait for it……That evil Blair help mate – Alistair Campbell! He was on radio 4 this am doing a repeat performance of his Jacques Brel (who I love) programme! Is it Brillo choosing the guests or are they foisted off on him?

  60. 352
    Grrr says:

    Just call Mandy’s Ministry the Ministry for Truth and have done with it…..

  61. 355
    Jimmy says:

    And yet there are still those who continue to believe that earth revolves around the sun. Keep up the good work Mr. Bonaparte.

  62. 375
    caesars wife says:

    We cant rewind weve gone to far, put out the name of twitter tzar

    aw whorrrrr guido killed the lobby star

    cant remember was it by the buggles ore the smearers !

  63. 376
    skippy says:

    So, Mandelson wants to give a televised briefing twice a week. Could he really think anyone would really want to watch this most toxic and dishonest of politicians. A party politicial broadcast twice a week? Would the viewing figures be embarrasingly low; probably.

    Which is why I am wondering if this is all part of a subtle plan. Recently, Gordon Brown hailed a report requiring every household to have broadband by 2012 and taxing existing users to do it. Calling it an as essential a utility as water, electricity, roads, rail etc. Having said that, what the hell business of government it is, whether I choose to have broadband or not is anyone’s guess.

    However, could technology be used to make people watch these propganda broadcasts?
    The answer of course is yes. Broadband in every home, perhaps a Screen in every home wich could not be switched off, possibly built into every router. The government would then know who is, and more importantly, who is not watching their broadcast. Perhaps further integration could be achieved using the RFID technology already contained in ID cards to monitor people on a one to one level.

    Wild eyed conspiracy theory? Probably, but Orwell has been right in virtually all his 1984 predicitions, just a little out on the date. Twelve years ago, had anyone predicted the errosion of civil liberties and level of government snooping, I would have thought it a wild eyed conspiracy.

    Actually, I think people did predict it, but I didn’t believe them. Doh!

  64. 380
    Beautiful Day says:

    Yesterday in the HoC Milliband, Ed, announced the sites for new nuclear power stations, saying Dungeness had been left out due to concers over rising sea levels and the proximity of a nature reserve. This didn’t go down too well with the locals, who were having a good say on regional TV last night complaining ther were few jobs apart from nuclear power, smuggling and sheep rustling. This obviously got reported back to Brown who was in Kent today, and when asked about it said this was just the first round and he hoped to see a new site at Dungeness in future rounds.

    SSSHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTT – the curse of McDoom has been visited on a nuclear power station, time to emigrate.

  65. 387
    Tapestry says:

    Mandelson still thinks we’re in 2003 when the Media Class signed us into the Iraq War, all opposition was crushed in totalitarian style while major Blair-lies were disseminated.

    He wants to lie to us all over again and bypass Parliament and any other democratic system with his twice weekly spin-show.

    We still for some reason trusted government spokesmen in 2003, but these days, his proposed TV broadcasts would be met with universal cynicism.

    They’ve burned all the trust out of the system. The only way back is Cameron’s rebuilding of institutions, combined with the media neutralised as the only source of political power.

    The Blair, mandelson, Campbell enthusiasm for totalitarian techniques is past.

  66. 388

    [...] Fawkes, the author of the UK’s most popular political blog, was quick to crow “Guido killed the lobby star” – a reference to his long-running attacks on the cosy relationship between Downing Street [...]

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”

Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.

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