November 5th, 2009

Something to Celebrate this Guy Fawkes Day

After reading the Kelly Report, listening to him and watching the front bench responses  yesterday it seems that we have something to celebrate on the day that Guido’s namesake was prevented from explosively implementing his brand of anti-politics.  The political class accepts the game is finally up, their porking is now well and truly busted.

Expense payments will be for real expenses. A heck of a lot of troughing is going to be phased out.  The no-receipts culture is coming to an end.  The employment of husbands, wives, lovers and children is being phased out.  The mortgage subsidy giving MPs the opportunity to make private profits at public expense is over.  The John Lewis list is abolished, the taxpayer’s largesse and funding of flat-screen TVs, interior designers, chic furniture, £400-a-month tax free for groceries without receipts.  We won’t be paying for their gardeners, cleaners, nannies, glossy pamphlet “communications”, moat cleaning, dog food and duck houses.  It is all coming to an end…

bigben_fireworksWe shouldn’t forget how they lied about keeping their addresses secret so that we wouldn’t find out about their mortgage flipping, how they tried to keep secret all their little fiddles.  How we paid for them to have servants.  Politicians have been dragged into the real world. There will still be a battle – Sir Stuart Bell and the rest of the troughers will drag their trotters, they will also be trying to get an inflation busting pay rise to move them to pay levels higher than 99% of their constituents.  They will moan that they have lost all their perks and need to be compensated.  Guido’s response to that is that firstly they are overpaid compared to the people whose taxes support them and that if they want to make money maybe politics is not for them.  They still think they deserve six-figure compensation packages, nothing will shake them from this belief or their sense of self-entitlement.  Maybe they should try to get better paid jobs in the real world – if they can. Guido will be enjoying the fireworks today more than usual and likes to think that the ghost of old Guy will be smiling as well…


  1. 1

    Just in case you were wondering; yes Guido was in the pub when the BBC called for comment.

  2. 2
    Shepton Mallett QC says:

    Rejoice in that news !

  3. 3
    Great Granddad says:

    Wish we were celebrating V.E. Day. Victory in Europe.

  4. 4
    Odds Bodkins says:


  5. 5
    Anonymous says:

    well I wouldn’t do the job for what they get paid.. I think it’s worth 120k..
    I know that’s not a popular view though.

  6. 6
    Span Ows says:

    I think you’re pushing it a bit asking them to join the real world…pah! Some hope! ;-)

    Happy Plot Day

  7. 7
    Great Granddad says:

    So do I. In Rupees of course.

  8. 8
    lolol says:

    MP’s aren’t needed anymore they have given their jobs away to foreign powers,time we gave them their P45’s and sold off the House of Parliament estates including number 10 and 11 Drowning st,as they pissed most of our money up against a wall and pocketed the rest then we don’t need to pay them anything.

  9. 9
    Remember remember the treason of the 3rd of November says:

    Don’t be so smug, the politicians will ALWAYS find a way to screw taxpayers. That’s why they don’t want to give an ‘in or out’ referendum on Europe to the British electorate.

  10. 10
    righteous-rage says:

    Fuck them and their expenses, they should all be hung for treason.
    I want my referendum on the EU.

  11. 11
    It is beyond pathetic now says:

    Well done Guido – I think you should be knighted and be sitting in the Lords staring at the troughers all the time.
    Give them a pay rise – and tax it at 50% – won’t be so funny then will it?
    The faces of all MP’s forced to payback money should be attached to all rockets – giving them one final ‘rocket up the arse’ from little old us – the hard working, tax paying minority.

  12. 12
    Hamish Macbeth says:

    They’ll vote themselves a pay rise…
    “”We need to be earning what GPs earn” is the standard mantra.

    To which I say … “”well you awarded a massive pay rise to the GPs for doing less hours and not doing nights””.

    Bearing in mind MPs do not have to have a qualification – and there are no shortage of applicants – there pay should stay the same. In view that they have abrogated many of their responsibiliites to Brussels there remains the serious question – do we still need as many MPs in Westminster

  13. 13
    Dr Wolf says:

    120 Kitkats?

    About right.

  14. 14
    Hugh Janus says:

    “The political class accepts the game is finally up, their porking is now well and truly busted.”

    No, just a brief lull in hostilities to re-group following a direct hit. The political class remains firmly in charge and has been since the arrival of NuLiebour. They will continue to do exactly what they want, although they may have to be a little more subtle about it.

    Along with many others I utterly despise them – but stoppable they are not.

  15. 15
    Payments says:

    Better to pay them in Zimbabwe Dollars! Then they can see what future the rest of the UK has from their handy work at creating the longest and deepest recession in the UK’s history.

  16. 16
    Dr Wolf says:

    Put all MP’s on commision only, make them earn the money.

  17. 17
  18. 18
    Hamish Macbeth says:


    For a job that requires no qualifications, for which there is no shortage of applicants for the post at £65k..

    A job which generally leads to directorships and board positions on retirement. A job which generally involves being a “facilitator” and passing problems onto someone else. A job which even if it paid just the reasonable expenses allows for a comfortable living.
    A job in the public sector which has a pension….

    I’ll do it

  19. 19
    M.P. says:

    penny for the guy?

  20. 20
    Hugh Janus says:

    Of course we don’t HM – 646 is an utterly ridiculous number when the EU has taken over most of their functions – but by what (legal) mechanism do you propose to get rid of them??

  21. 21
    Great Granddad says:

    That’s a sore point. Sadly I have some Zim Dollars. Any offers?

  22. 22
    M'Lud Fondlebum of Boy, another creepy side of sociashitism says:

    I’m gonna be the next PM y’know.

    But please, – no plaudits yet!

  23. 23
    T.Wolfe says:

    Bonfire of the Vanities.

  24. 24
    It is beyond pathetic now says:

    get rid of all the idiots who were unable to put their poppies on first – if they can’t get that right we really are screwed.

  25. 25
    Hamish Macbeth says:

    On the alleged referendum…..

    What are politicans so SCARED of???

    Either the EU is great for the UK – so sell it to us.
    Or the EU costs us a fortune every day and we would be far better doing a “Norway” so let us vote out.
    Is not being left out of the gang worth £40M a day ?????

    Not rocket science is it?

  26. 26
    Seasick Dave says:

    Did everyone get their response to the petition to get Snotty to resign?

    I did.

    Here it is:


    We received a petition asking:

    “We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to resign.”

    Details of Petition:

    “There are many reasons why we might want Brown to resign, but rather than having lots of narrow petitions on this topic (most of which have been rejected), I wanted one for all of us.”

    Read the Government’s response

    The Prime Minister is completely focused on restoring the economy, getting people back to work and improving standards in public services. As the Prime Minister has consistently said, he is determined to build a stronger, fairer, better Britain for all.


    God, I hate that man.

  27. 27
    Scenic says:

    They are all now decamping for Brussels anyway. Westminster is a dead husk sucked dry of both expenses and power.

    I would like to see just how many ex MPs pop up as MEPs in the next 10 years.

  28. 28
    Odds Bodkins says:

    Even the Zimbabwean economy is recovering before ours…

  29. 29
    Gordon Brown says:

    Oh fuck it.
    I think I’ll resign and become a blogger

  30. 30
    who dunit says:

    Legal! lega! who the flipping heck still does legal

  31. 31
    rick says:

    The parliament building can now be turned into an enormous brothel. The first honest function for over 50 yrs. I’m guessing it would also turn a profit (if it isn’t state run of course)

  32. 32
    chronic says:

    So the day after power is shifted to Europe, the toughing epicentre of the world Kelly sweeps up the mess of a parliament. Its like plugging a single hole in a sieve.

  33. 33
    streamfisher says:

    Now wait for the quantitative easing, I’m sure printing themselves a load more money as salary will be top of the agenda from now on.

  34. 34
    An unelected organ grinder, reading his unelected monkey's scrawl, says:

    yup, – that’s what I told him to say

  35. 35
    Hamish Macbeth says:

    “”but by what (legal) mechanism do you propose to get rid of them??””

    Redraw constituencies twice as big.
    Have them apply for their own job.
    It happens in Industry all the time.
    Half of the MPs are claiming they will take their bat and ball home at the next election anyway – an ideal opportunity for “realignment”

  36. 36
    who dunit says:

    You are not qualified you wanker

  37. 37
    Cassius says:

    Its really very simple.

    MPS need performance related pay.

    NO expenses.

    They should be paid according to a formula. 10 x the average salary, taxed at 1.25 the maximum rate of income tax at the present time, with no marginal rates and no allowances.

    That way they have an incentive to increase prosperity, and average earnings, but also to minimise taxation. Dont need a bloody independent quango to figure that one out.

  38. 38
    ian e says:

    This is all a big con, of course.

    They are already manoeuvring for significant pay rises even before any of these changes are in place (in what, about 6 years time – if ever). We have been screwed as always and forever, world without end. And to make matters worse, such scraps of democracy as have existed in this Huntry (sic!), are now forever out the window with Cameron’s cast-iron promise (that would be the sort that sinks without trace, I guess).

  39. 39
    who dunit says:

    TOO late mate, its slated to be a mosque

  40. 40
    Coward of the County says:

    Now that the two main parties are united over Europe, defence, ID cards, expenses, scientific advisors and foreign polices and given that Europe makes 99% of the law that directly affects us, is it not time to reduce the number of MPs to one for each County?

    What is a reason for voting Tory now, I struggle to think of one other than it will make Mr & Mrs Balls unemployed.

  41. 41
    Tony B$air says:

    Kelly for Il Presidente! Lodzmoremoneyfor me!

  42. 42
    sweat in Gordon's crack says:

    where was your poppy?

  43. 43
    On Harman Pride's Dossier says:

    The biggest lie is that their pay “represents their notional worth in the private marketplace”. Complete bullshit. You don’t need any qualifications to be an MP, or any experience except for local campaigning.

    Pure supply and demand points out that for every safe seat there are dozens of applicants. If you paid nothing, some people would still want to do it.

    I think the best option would be for means-tested salaries for MPs. That way, MPs without the personal resources of the Camerons, Osbournes or Multiple-Balls could get a decent whack, without pouring money into the pockets of the already rich.

  44. 44
    Boycott the Licence Fee says:

    Well done Guido. You played a major part in this. Now if only we could do the same about euro-troughing…..

  45. 45
    who dunit says:

    If we did the national socialist thing, we would be alright, the froggies and the other 26 would be fucked though. Hmmmmmm

  46. 46
    jgm2 says:

    That’s a good enough reason in itself.

  47. 47
    On Harman Pride's Dossier says:


  48. 48
    ian e says:

    p.s. I see the thought police are at my post – Hoonry was not the word I used; I would tell you what it was but that would not work, so let me just say that I left the ‘o’ out of the word country.

  49. 49
    Hugh Janus says:

    Tempting suggestion, but who is going to re-draw the boundaries? If it’s the Boundary Commission then they are only an advisory body to the Ministry of Justice. And we all know how this arrogant so-called government reacts to reports from experts – it simply ignores them.

    Any better ideas?

  50. 50
    streamfisher says:

    I think performance related pay is a great idea (independently assessed), they would be on a shilling a week and a horseshit sandwich.

  51. 51
    Yuri_Skeptikoff says:

    Any phased in changes to MP’s salaries and perks will be too late to satisfy a disgruntled (grunt – grunt!) public. There is talk of a 5-year phase-in period, which is clearly unacceptable.

    Any MP who fails to renounce every last perk – as of NOW – needs to be deselected as the candidate.

    Parties who fail to see this obvious error need to have a single “Anti-Porker” candidate set up against them, who will steal most of their votes.

    Simple Democracy – “power to the people”

  52. 52
    bandersnatch says:

    Thought Clegg was quite impressive on the box yesterday. Hope it works out as he obviously thinks it will.

  53. 53
    Seasick Dave says:

    War could only be funded out of their salaries.

  54. 54
    Hugh Janus says:

    We are still awaiting a turning-over of the HoL expenses….let’s at least finish the job for those who insist on stealing from the British taxpayer before we move on to the EU – deserving cause though they undoubtedly are.

  55. 55
    Moley says:

    Highly Recommended.

    Guido’s seen elsewhere,

    “The EU is the Reincarnation of the Soviet Union” – Pravda.

    There are five pages, in which Pravda says that the Lisbon Treaty is more or less identical to the old Soviet Constitution and its apparent protection of individual rights is just as meaningless.

    If anybody should know about these things, it’s Pravda.

    This is what our stupid useless politicians have achieved. They have made us a satellite state of a new soviet empire.

  56. 56
    The Fallen Angel says:

    They are public servants; they are doing their jobs out of a sense of public duty (Or am I being silly on this?) and not for personal gain!!!

    If they don’t feel being an MP is worth their time any longer then they can stand down and get a job where their remuneration is commensurate with their ideas about themselves and their status / worth…

    There are plenty of others from the non political class who want the chance to sort out the mistakes that our current bunch of elected idiots have foisted upon us. They don’t want to trough like the current bunch…

    (Don’t you just love idealism??? Shame there are aren’t more who think like this….perhaps then we could hold our elected officials to account!)

  57. 57
    jgm2 says:

    I think I have a single Zim dollar someplace left over from when I first went there in 1989. You could get served a bottle of wine at Meikles for 12 Zim dollars – about a three pounds at the time. Four Zim to the pound.

    I think they’ve taken six zeroes of the currency every years since just so they can save on ink and so they know what figure to ask for in change. After all now there’s 1000000000000000000000000 Zim dollars to the pound it becomes a bit tedious asking for a million million million million dollar hot dog. Please.

  58. 58
    backwoodsman says:

    Our MP was offered a ‘job share’ by a couple of the local bright sparks, who managed to corner him. Apparently he was not ammused !

  59. 59
    Tin Cunliffe-Arsely says:

    Oh great. How would they measure the commision… By the number of new laws they could invent?

  60. 60
    Charles Flaccidwidger says:

    Wouldn’t turning parliament into a brothel mean that the building would be full of money hungry whores screwing the public for every last penny?

  61. 61
    R.McGeddon says:

    Plato had our MPs number over 2,500 years ago…..

    This from his ‘Republic’

    “We also have to make sure the guardians do not become like sheep dogs that turn into wolves and abuse their power to harm their fellow citizens. Therefore the guardians will have no private property, they will live transparently, they will be provided for out of taxes, and they will live together communally. First, none of them should possess any private property beyond what is wholly necessary. Second, none of them should have a house or storeroom that isn’t open for all to enter at will. Third, whatever sustenance moderate and courageous warrior-athletes require in order to have neither shortfall nor surplus in a given year they’ll receive by taxation on the other citizens as a salary for their guardianship. Fourth, they’ll have common messes and live together like soldiers in a camp. We’ll tell them that they always have gold and silver of a divine sort in their souls as a gift from the gods and so have no further need of human gold. Indeed, we’ll tell them it’s impious for them to defile this divine possession by any admixture of such gold… Hence, for them alone … it is unlawful for them to touch or handle gold or silver… In this way they’d save both themselves and the city. But if they acquire private land, houses, and currency themselves, they’ll be household managers and farmers instead of guardians – hostile masters of the other citizens instead of their allies. They’ll spend their whole lives hating and being hated, plotting and being plotted against, more afraid of internal than external enemies, and they’ll hasten both themselves and the whole city to almost immediate ruin.”

  62. 62
    DisgustedOfMitcham2 says:

    Your MP might be worth 120K. Mine sure as hell isn’t.

  63. 63
    Jimmy says:

    I like the idea of politicians being told to get jobs in the real world by a blogger.

  64. 64
    jgm2 says:

    We should pay ‘em what they were getting before they went into politics. GPs will get GPs salaries. Solicitors will get solicitors salaries. School teachers will get school teachers salaries and Gordon Brown will get supplementary benefit.

    You didn’t go into politics for the money? Fine. Here’s what you were getting before.

    Now fuck off and if you don’t like it then make way for that bloke there who will do it for that amount of money.


  65. 65
    bandersnatch says:

    Jeez must be brain-rot! I meant Sir Christopher Kelly, in person, he of the report, speaking to us, the televiewers. Sir done good, I think… building on the insights and efforts of Guido and friends…

  66. 66
    Boycott the Licence Fee says:

    Hang on to those Zims for now. They’re bound to appreciate against the Pound sooner or later. Another £25bn down the shitter today and maybe more to come.

  67. 67
    jgm2 says:

    You’d need a keyboard the size of a fucking grand piano if reports on your eyesight are to be believed.

  68. 68
    jgm2 says:

    Dogshit sandwich.

  69. 69

    was guy Fawkes the first suicide bomber? My history is a bit rusty or did he do a runner after laying the gunpowder

  70. 70
    DisgustedOfMitcham2 says:

    Yes, I have a better idea.

    Any politician who fails to get votes from a certain percentage of the total electorate (note: note a percentage of votes cast) in their constituency (maybe 40%?) doesn’t get the seat. That’s democratic. If voters in a particular constituency don’t turn out to vote, then they probably don’t care if their constituency doesn’t return an MP.

  71. 71
    jgm2 says:

    Most of ‘em will be getting an overnight phase-out package in June anyway.

  72. 72
    jgm2 says:

    Not as funny as Boris telling Paxman to get a proper job though.

  73. 73
    Maladroit Labour Chump says:

    Which is why we closet Commies have worked so hard to lock us into the EUSSR.

  74. 74
    Boycott the Licence Fee says:

    It’s even more important to hold a Referendum as soon as possible. Brown acted ultra vires in signing this document. He lacks the legal capacity under our Consitutional Law to do what he thinks he’s done, even if we accept he’s sane (which he clearly isn’t) there are ample grounds for vitiating the Treaty. Referendum Now!

  75. 75

    Its a disaster. that man Kelly is a traitor.
    Thank god Dave has kept the Euro gravy train alive. I’m off to Brussels where they know how to compensate their politicians.

    A fair days perk for a fair days wonk.

  76. 76
    streamfisher says:

    I bet if any independent stood for election as the NMP Party (No More Porking) they would get a sizeable slice of the vote, their electoral deposit would be as safe as houses (used to be).

  77. 77
    jgm2 says:

    I think he made the classic rookey mistake of trying to warn a friend of his wife not to go to the HoP. Everybody knows you don’t get to heaven by giving innocent people warnings that you’re about to murder ‘em.

  78. 78
    Seasick Dave says:

    Easy on the bread.

  79. 79
    Great Granddad says:

    646 M/P/s? When I see the house on Sky, it looks as though six hundred of them couldn’t make it. Is that the dreaded swine flu that keeps them away?

  80. 80
    corky says:

    To No5.
    You do mean Turkish lira dont you.

  81. 81

    He did a runner. The plotters were inept and compromised by the MI5 of their day.
    Every thing that could go wrong did. Even the gunpowder of the fleeing plotters got so wet that they could not fire their weapons when they were surrounded.

    God was quite clearly NOT on their side.

  82. 82

    No flipping, no flipping Bill.

  83. 83

    OT and just to wind up my stalker

    Fox News was the clear winner in the cable ratings last night, averaging 4.04 million total viewers during prime-time, with 1.13 million in the 25-54 demo alone. Fox beat the other three networks combined.

  84. 84
    jgm2 says:

    Sounds like the clowns who had a go at Glasgow airport.

  85. 85
    Boycott the Licence Fee says:

    GDP, educational standards (objectively assessed; not by pass rates) Operation waiting lists, crime rates….. There are all manner of yardsticks. If MPs were paid by results, they’d be on approximately £0.00 pa.

  86. 86
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Some bloke lives in parliament square in a tent
    I say put them in tents
    I bet they dong get passers by giving them free food
    OOPs I forgot
    we already do

  87. 87
    caesars wife says:

    It is a victory on the expense side of it and with much thanks to your blogg , my particular thanks for exposing the think tank propoganda that was hoovering up vast sums .

    Dont know if its true but £1 million has been found wrongly expensed .

    CW thought David Heaths question of £160 million on a criminal records computer being er unnaccounted for , just shows you !!

    fawkes day it is indeed

  88. 88
    Great Granddad says:

    That’s another sore point. Iv’e got one or two pounds as well! I never learn.

  89. 89
    Hugh Janus says:

    Digusted of Mitcham – not an unreasonable idea, but who do you think would be voting on such a subject? Think about it.

  90. 90
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    I rather be celebrating Victory over Europe

    Or even Victory out of Europe…. :)

  91. 91
    R.McGeddon says:

    I thought they all entered politics to ‘make a difference’ ?

    It does n’t take a long for them to ditch the altruism and head for a place at the Taxpayers’ Trough.

  92. 92
    Seasick Dave says:

    You’ve not got the hang of this yet, have you Jimmy?

  93. 93
    caesars wife says:

    he was good friend very much the enoch of his day

  94. 94
    jgm2 says:

    And the Somalis who had a go on the tube a few weeks after the religion of peace made their pacifist intentions clear in London.

  95. 95
    jgm2 says:

    Fair point.

  96. 96
    jgm2 says:

    If they were assessed on results they’d owe us 800bn quid being how much they’ve overspent in the last 12 years.

  97. 97
    Anonymous says:

    Subtlety won’t get around FOI. That’s what brought about their downfall.

    Beneficial ownership of properties, relationship of a paid worker to any other MP, etc, etc, all traceable.

  98. 98
    streamfisher says:

    Not as funny as Paxman telling Boris he hadn’t had a proper job.

  99. 99
    James Gordon Brown says:

    I would like to thank the sixty million citizens of the United Kingdom who did not sign a petition for myself to resign the great office of Prime Minister, this proves that I James Gordon Brown, am the right man for the job and the UK population has humbled me by getting behind me with such overwhelming support and adding such legitamacy to my premership.

    For those 70,000 of you who did sign the petition, I would like to reassure you that I am listening while getting on with the job and I have had my secretary write up a reply.

    It is as follows;

    The Prime Minister is completely focused on restoring the economy, getting people back to work and improving standards in public services. As the Prime Minister has consistently said, he is determined to build a stronger, fairer, better Britain for all.

    Yours Faithfully

    Gordon Brown PM

  100. 100
    I am Jimmy's Carer my name is Malcolm says:

    You want me to wank you off again? But Jimmy I only just cracked one off for you half an hour ago FFS.
    It is red raw. Leave it alone Jimmy it will drop off if you keep tugging at it like that.
    Anyway it is dole money day today so instead of wanking off all day you will have to go and sign on.

  101. 101
    Sir William Waad says:

    I think an MP should be well-paid, because it is such an important job. I don’t necessarily accept that the current MPs should be well-paid. You need your MP to be a bit of nob, in the old sense, rather than a complete nob, in the modern sense. When the oinking and squealing has died down MPs may realise that Guido and others have done them all a favour by rescuing Parliament from complete decadence.

  102. 102
    Harriet 'Hot Legs' Harman says:

    Come on Big Boy

  103. 103
  104. 104

    The answer is for prospective MPs to put a Desired salary in with their application for the Job, the salary appears next to the MP’s name on the voting slip.

  105. 105
    jgm2 says:

    Naaah, Paxman was trying to tell Boris that Dave hadn’t got a proper job. ‘What sort of job is PR?’

    Boris did the most fantasic stage expression to camera – you know – face that says ‘What sort of a fucking stupid question is that?’ and then came back with ‘What sort of a job is a journalist….get a proper job?’

    The rest is history.


  106. 106
    It is beyond pathetic now says:

    they have made a difference – Brown a fabulous example of someone making a difference.


    All he seems to do is cock things up, print money and prattle on about the X factor – Willy Wonka would have more of a clue about about what is going on.

  107. 107
    Pete says:


    Ministers gagged by their own guilt on Afghanistan, says Labour MP

  108. 108
    Mr Plum says:

    Shame he was’nt pro europe he might be in the Lords by now.

  109. 109
    UK DebtSlave says:

    You make it all sound like a huge success. In reality, you have completely lost the plot.

    Westminster has effectively been reduced to a regional assembly anyway. Parliament is going to shrink quite considerably in the next few years. It’s a mere a sideshow now. All the big decisions will be made by the EU.

    The troughers will all move to Brussels. They’ll have 500 million people to milk for their largesse and greed instead of 60-70 million.

    So it’ll be solid gold bath plugs in a decade or so.

    What a total sham all this expose has been really. In the big scheme of things, it’s really meaningless. The very same people will wealthier by millions in a few years time, Creme des Kinnock style multimillion fortunes will be made off the back of the huge pool of EU slaves.

  110. 110
    5 minutes says:

    Just 5 minutes with my baseball bat,just 5 minutes will be all it takes to give you a dose of quantitative easing Brown.

  111. 111
    Yarnefromhorsham says:

    Just have that sinking feeling that they will all “try it on” as and when the dust settles.

  112. 112
    Great British Public says:

    Gormless, you are only ‘determined’ to hang on to that job for your own sociopathic reasons.

    You would n’t give us a Referendum on the Lisbon Treaty but you can’t prevent a General Election.

  113. 113
    michael says:

    lol, well said jgm2,michael.

  114. 114
    Odds Bodkins says:

    If PMs want money, let them start their own business and earn it.

    If they think they are worth that much more, let them get their CVs up-to-date and start competing in the commercial arena. Same goes for any of the whinging state-funded grandmothers who think they could earn more in the private sector.

    I’ve known many people complaining of how badly they were treated in the public sector (NHS, Civil Service, Royal Mail) to go and join a private company only to find their new environment is a 1000 times fucking worse!

  115. 115
    Andy Carpark says:

    Brown has gone beyond throwing mobile phones around.

    No 10 insiders now report him clutching at the air, grasping daddy longlegs and stuffying them into his mouth.

  116. 116
    streamfisher says:

    But dystopia is what they do, we need rescuing.

  117. 117
    Politics - The True Definition says:


    The inability to admit that ANYTHING you do is wrong,because to do so will lose you POWER………

  118. 118
    Sir William Waad says:

    Plato also argued that it is better to live under a dictator than in a rotten democracy.

  119. 119
    Sir William Waad says:

    Jimmy Carr – haven’t you got jokes to tell?

  120. 120
    jgm2 says:

    Watch the video from about 6:40.


    ‘The blessed sponge of amnesia….’

    Boris for PM.

  121. 121
    Sir William Waad says:

    Politicis is the Art of the Plausible.

  122. 122
    wtf is going on says:

    The tories are living in a dream world trying to write everyone off as UKIP and B&P trolls over Europe on their sites.

    They have lost the plot.

  123. 123
    Princess Millitwat, on her way to a nice little earner at the EUSSR, says:

    boys . . boys . . don’t all crowd round me . . . you’ll make me go all silly!

    But seriously, – I did say that the EUSSR brought one advantages, didn’t I?

    and soon Tone will be i/c again.


  124. 124
    Gordon Brown says:

    You want to bet?

  125. 125
    Gordon Brown says:

    Imagine you were an American politician. Where the admission that God doesn’t personally speak to you every day would immediately exclude you from election.

  126. 126
    Infanta of Castile says:

    I think there should be a sliding scale to reflect experience and get rid of the ludicrous situation where a 21 year old scion of a political dynasty collects the same as an MP with substantial expertise. The basic rate could be c£20K with an additional £2 – 2.5K for each year of employment or self-employment experience they bring to the job and allowing for up to 10 years maximum of whole time caring as part of that.

    That would mean:

    21 year old PPE graduate gets £20K (which is generous for a new grad)

    53 year old with 30 years experience running own business or in one of the professions gets £80 -95K (depending on whether 2 or 2.5K applied)

    40 year old who has spent 12 years in paid work and 10 years looking after kids gets £64-75K

  127. 127
    Engineer says:

    £65,000 per annum plus a very good pension entitlement isn’t bad. It’s in the top 3% of British remuneration packages.

    I agree with Guido. If they want more, they should either go and find a better-paid job, or set up a business and make a success of it. Either way, good luck to them.

  128. 128
    Go Boris - GO!! says:

    Boris – the only light in a shitty sky.

  129. 129
    Anonymous says:

    Not sure about the need to be subtle, Nadine went on public radio and was completely unapologetic about putting her daughter on the public payroll. Don’t underestimate the brass neck of these troughers.

  130. 130
    jgm2 says:

    Well, we’ve got both.

  131. 131
    wtf is going on says:

    It looks like little Davey Wavey wants the pres job for himself in a few years and is just letting Tony warm the seat for him.

  132. 132
    Conservatives says:

    Misconduct=Financial Inquisition

  133. 133
    Troll Splatter says:

    Hi Jim lad – one of the paid trolls are you?

    Tch tch! – you’ll have to do better than that to get ahead.

    What time you a’leavin orf today mate?

  134. 134
    streamfisher says:

    I.E Paxman has never had a proper job , get it?, glass houses and windows.

  135. 135
    R.McGeddon says:

    Gormless is a rotten dictator so he ‘ticks all the boxes’

  136. 136
    Ken Lorp says:

    I would like to send him a gift of a tin of biscuits to celebrate his deft handling of this difficult petition.

    What kind of biscuits do you think I should send?

  137. 137
    anon says:

    Seen elsewhere link.

    Even Pravda think the EU is a scary re-incarnation of the Soviet Union.

    Parasite laws anyone?

    Committed to a mental institution for questioning the EU anyone?

    Why is this happening again? Can our elite really be sleepwalking into a new European tyranny just for a mere sack of gold?

    Now we know why the treason laws were taken off the books when Labour came to power.

    dark days ahead – & a war or two I should imagine.

  138. 138
    jgm2 says:

    Streamfisher – perhaps you meant to say ‘Boris telling Paxman he’d never had a proper job..?’

    Otherwise you’re making no sense.

  139. 139
    Every French politician in the world says:

    That position is reserved for the French. It will be like the Vatican prior to John Paul II.

    Only Italians need apply.

  140. 140
  141. 141
    jgm2 says:

    Willy Wonka was a hugely successful private industrialist.

    Gordon Brown is a monumentally incompetent arrogant jackass.

  142. 142
    righty right wing (mrs) says:

    I have just popped down to the post office to send DC & WH their three white feathers each.

    I suppose the Post Unions will delay their arrival but I feel better for sending them.

    Anyone else want to join in?

  143. 143
    Mr Plum says:

    Eat less

  144. 144
    Putin says:

    My friend -he did get approval from Parliament with the aid of his Lid Dem friends.Another gang who went back on a referendum promise.

  145. 145
    NewsLion says:

    Right i have the gun powder whose got the matches?

  146. 146
    Quisling Dave says:

    Veni, Vidi, Vichy

  147. 147
    The big D says:

    The same thought occurred to me yesterday. I decided against it on the grounds that, with so little concern shown for the history and customs of this country, it would not be understood.

  148. 148
    streamfisher says:

    Waynes still smiling, kick a ball around……. Gordons.


  149. 149
    anon says:

    I have trees in my garden older than your death cult.

    And your blog is crap.

  150. 150
    Can you believe this? says:

    Love the sentiment Guido.

    However why is there all this ‘Phasing?’

    Surely with the GE in May 2010 there is a clear break for the troughers who want to stay on under the fairer rules.

    Those that can get better employment, early retirement, or just bored can sod off.

    Give the ‘New Blood’ a better chance of gaining employment.

    They would have to sign up to the new rules and that they had got a copy of the Green Book and understood it.

    5 years is a GB ‘Stealth Expense Scam’, aided and abbetted by DC, and the other bloke who wears yellow.

  151. 151

    So, UKIP MP fiddles expenses, is dropped by party and prosecuted by police.

    Baroness Uddin fiddles expenses, is kept by party and ignored by police.

    Nadine Dorries fiddles expenses, is kept by party and ignored by police.

    I will be UKIPing.

  152. 152
    The big D says:

    Well done to Guido for his tireless efforts to uncover the piggies.

    Unfortunately, the comment above is an accurate summary.

  153. 153

    Love your show Larry.
    The Thick of it for the entertainment world.
    Did you base Hank on Gordon Brown?

    What are doing now?

  154. 154
    Diversity says:

    Still not a reason for voting Tory. Voting LibDem is more likely to get them out of our politics forever

  155. 155
    Bedwetting religion of peace apologists says:


    What’s our position on this one Mo?

    In a statement on its website on Wednesday, the group said Saudi warplanes and helicopters had dropped phosphorus bombs on its fighters in the areas of al-Malahaid, Jabal al-Mamdud, al-Husama and al-Mujdaa. On Thursday, rebel spokesman Mohammed Abdul Salam said the bombs had hit “crowded areas including local market in the northern province of Saada”.

    “They claim they are targeting Houthis, but regrettably they are killing civilians like the government does,” he told the Associated Press. “The attacks were followed by hundreds of shells from the border.”

  156. 156
    Tresham says:

    Exposing the piggies at Westminster is a brilliant way to start.

    let’s hope Guido can flush out the Euro troughers like the Kinnocks, Michael Cashman etc who have done so well lining their pockets thanks to the British tax payer.

  157. 157
    Thats News says:

    Good. The pub is the best place to be. God. Wish I was in the pub!

  158. 158
    Balls Deep says:

    Remember Remember Guido Fawkes was fanatically pro Europe!

  159. 159
    Seasick Dave says:

    Broken ones.

  160. 160
    jgm2 says:

    The ones left over after the rugby club have finished ‘bonding’.

  161. 161

    Not quite true UKDS
    The Morans and Viggers will no longer be around.The new fresh faced MPs replacing them will be under much more scrutiny than ever before.
    And why should this one campaign be the end. Why not now target the Lords? The local council? The Primary health care trust, the BBC?
    For public officials the horror may be that this is not the end, its just the beginning.

  162. 162
    FrogDog says:

    It doesn’t matter what its says on the tin, its whats inside that counts….tick..tock..tick…tock.

    Make sure you don’t use a wind-up one, get a quartz.

  163. 163
    DisgustedOfMitcham2 says:

    Ah, you’re right Hugh, there is a bit of a flaw in my plan, isn’t there? I guess it relies on MPs to vote for it.

    Damn. Back to the lamp-posts and piano wire plan then.

  164. 164
    Anonymous says:

    so do it..

  165. 165

    Set Phasers to kill.

  166. 166
    Scenic says:

    No Jews involved, nothing to see here move along please, Annie Lennox will not be holding a press conference.

  167. 167
    DisgustedOfMitcham2 says:

    I’m not sure there’s anything to celebrate just yet.

    Before any of this gets implemented, it has to go through endless committees, which I guess will take years.

    It’s straight out of “Yes Minister”.

  168. 168
    South of the M4 says:

    Mali principii malus finis

  169. 169
    Unsworth says:

    And the timescale for the radical change is what, exactly? The bastards will drag this one out long into the forseeable future….

    Frankly I’m sceptical to the point of homicide. Let’s just take the bastards outside and line them up along the walls of Whitehall. Wouldn’t take too long to dispose of them. Stalin got the technique sorted.

  170. 170
    wtf is going on says:

    who cares the rate the rag heads breed at no one will notice a few rebels missing here or there.

  171. 171
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    There are hundreds who would do the job so you stay in the real world and let those with a calling for public service get on with being MPs.

    Wavey Davey did say that he was going to cut their number but given his record recently I would guess that it is another promise too far. So much for trust.

  172. 172
  173. 173
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    Not if Harperson has her say. She’d jail all the clients as soon as they stepped into the place.

  174. 174
    Shocked of Sheen says:

    A small celebration is certainly in order. Huzza!
    And as for the troughers? Away with them and their ghastly families, away with their grinning mugs and their overfed bellies, but watch out for the next bunch of ambitious Commons researchers and their PA girlfriends, they’re lining up even now to take their places at the trough….

  175. 175
    jgm2 says:

    I think Stalin preferred to shoot them out in the woods so thathe bullets didn’t go clean through and chip the brickwork.

  176. 176
    lolol says:

    Think its the equivalent of a tribe doing a bit of camel stealing

  177. 177
    Yup! - Boris is de Main Man says:

    Sorry EUSSR ‘Dave’ and all your ineffective cronies.

    You’ve sat on your arses far too long.

    Bring on Boris, – at least he’s a bit of a larf – what else do we have in this G*d Forsaken land of ours?

    Even the AB of C has buggered off on some bullshitty stream about the law that cannot speak its name.

  178. 178
    The voice for The Shower of Shit that is ZaNu LieBore (SSZL) says:

    5th November 2009. No better day to show our appreciation NuLabour style. A good hard kick in the crutch for all you good people out there…We are encapsulating you all. All of you who are pig shit stupid and too cosy at home to do fuck all about it!
    Much thanks goes to the media, particularly the BBC. All those we have taken under our wing on the now bloated public payroll. And most importantly the people up front and behind the scenes at the Labour Government putting on a brave face to keep spitting out the same old rhetoric until enough of you saps finally believe it and turn on the rest.

    Good day!

  179. 179
    Justice Fingers says:

    It’s a very sensible view. And, presumably, why you are not an MP.

    No one is forcing them to do the job, are they?

  180. 180
    GarethS says:

    Why is the prime mentalist referring to himself in the third person? wuckfit!

  181. 181

    I am back in Montana withdrawing from heroin and watching all the tapes of my show over and over and over again.
    I fucking hate this busines Bill; I am thinking of going into politics.
    You got any tips?

  182. 182
    Gurner says:

    air biscuits no doubt

  183. 183
    The voice for The Shower of Shit that is ZaNu LieBore (SSZL) says:

    Elaborate jgm2 please?

  184. 184

    Guido – as promised, I will be letting off some fireworks this evening and one such expensive rocket will have your name on it. In years past, I often wondered why it was we English celebrate an event that didn’t actually happen. Well now it has – and we all have cause to celebrate on the 5th of November. Unlike the original gunpowder, the barrells of digital gunpowder were never found, and they exploded right under the trougher’s porky little green benches. BOOOM!! And may this be the death of many a trougher’s career! And yes; the old boy would certainly be laughing right now.

  185. 185
    The real failure (apart from the socialism crap) says:


    HSBC 90% 2.8% (Well done!)
    RBS 112.3%
    Barclays 123.45%
    Lloyds TSB 140.84% Who said it was a good bank?
    Alliance & Leicester 172.41%
    Bradford & Bingley 172.41%
    HBOS 175.43%
    Northern Rock 322.58%

    Weighted average LOAN/DEPOSIT RATIO = 174.26% = Financial death wish

    That’s why we got into trouble.

    Anything over 100% is fatal and the government knew it.

    If it didn’t it was (and is) incompetent and should be hounded out of office.

    The Government’s (and Monarch’s) first duty is the security of the realm and to provide good governance. That is the historical social contract. They failed.

  186. 186
    Sir William Waad says:

    This is the day when we celebrate Lord Cecil’s and Sir Thomas Knyvet’s foiling of the Catholic Plot. My ancestor’s important part in identifying the conspirators came a day or two later, when he was regrettably obliged to use enhanced interrogation techniques on the original Guido Fawkes. We will raise a glass to him as we attend the bonfire on Draper’s Field tonight.


  187. 187
    Happy, Happy Day Guido!! says:

    Can’t make up my mind what I wish you most –

    (a) – all the troughers in one place sitting on a huge tub of The Powder That Cures all Blues (cos it’s really black) – kno wot oi mean? One Big Bang and it’s over!


    (b) – lots and lots (646) individual barrels that the troughers could be worked through one by one. So lots of little bangs.


    (c) a colation (is it?), leading up to a grand finale

    Your choice me old love – it’s your special day.

    And thanks for doing all you do to keep us in the picture.

    Lots of Love

    An Admirer

  188. 188
    The_Fucked_Fabian_Pride_Society says:

    What’s that Bill? New? You mean new faces still working for this bunch of Hoons but from behind a curtain?

  189. 189
    Minekiller says:

    Why not, they are already stunned.

  190. 190
    Elite Metropolitan Champagne Socialist (feigning sophisticashun) (innit) says:

    What’s a ‘woods’?

    Is one of those places they sometimes show on telly?

    Thank goodness I’ve never been in one! – damp, nasty, slippery places – and men only want one thing when they get in them


  191. 191
    Anonymous says:

    No, number of laws repealed

  192. 192
    Fred says:

    Yes, yet another fanatical attempt to unite us under some pan-European ideology. On that occasion it was Catholicism. What is it with these Europeans?

  193. 193
    righty right wing (mrs) says:

    From your mouth to Gods ears Bill.


    RRW (Mrs)

  194. 194
    A Guido Blog Follower says:

    Congratulations, Guido! You have done so much to expose this MPs corruption and thievery. A National Honour should be awarded for “Services to Britain”.

  195. 195
    DisgustedofHerefordshire60,210 says:

    Best idea yet!
    If you haven’t had a proper job, teach it,
    If you can’t teach it, administer it,
    now a new one…
    If you can’t administer it become it’s MP… Oh sod off better still.

  196. 196
    righty right wing (mrs) says:

    Limp Dums.

    Those scumbags are as bad as Labour.

    Like a spotty little oik who hangs around with the scholl yard bully.

    God I detest & despise the Limp Dums.

  197. 197
    Big Boy says:

    Nah – I’m an arse man meself.

    Still, – now I’m here . . .

  198. 198
    The_Fucked_Fabian_Pride_Society says:

    They don’t care about that now. The job is done. They wont be on the same pay terms by then!

  199. 199
    righty right wing (mrs) says:

    Bander, your medicine.

    Clegg is a hoon.

  200. 200
    Burn 'Em says:

    It’s about time people changed from burning effigies of Guy Fawkes to effigies of their local MPs and other hated politicos, an absurdly large grouping of traitors but slightly more contemporary and “modern”. One day we might progress to the real thing, but in the mean time it’d be best to just let the f***ers sweat a while.

  201. 201
    Fred says:

    Problem they have is they didn’t realise that the EU is gradually being taken over by Nazis.

  202. 202
    JMT says:

    Nil illegitimi carborundum

  203. 203
    Future's so bright I gotta wear shades says:

    A scouser walked into the local job centre, marched straight up to the counter and said ‘Hi, I’m looking for a job’.

    The man behind the counter replied ‘Your timing is amazing. We’ve just got one in from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac twin daughters. You’ll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes and wear the uniform provided. The hours are a bit long but the meals are provided. You also have to escort the young ladies on their Overseas holidays. The Salary package is £200,000 a year’.

    The Scouser said ‘You’re bullsh*tting me!’

    The man behind the counter said ‘Well you started it!’

  204. 204
    JMT says:

    Waaay to quick for them.

    I like the idea of piano wire, lamp posts and some mid-air tap dancing.

    However for a really grand spectacluar we could dangle about 20 or 30 at a time – a sort of aerial riverdance, with fireworks and searchlights in the background, sons et lumiere.

    20 or 30 at a time also gives us the opportunity for a few trail runs, live rehearsals, encores and the odd matinee performance.

    Failing that one at a time on the fourth plinth – and we might even get an Arts Council grant for the piano wire.

  205. 205
    Get Real says:

    The one’s who’ve lost the plot are UKIP,Farage and Hannan – they are unlikely to achieve anything other than ensuring that Labour remains in power with or without the aid of the LibDems and then NOTHING at all will happen on Europe. In fact I’ll lay evens that UKIP barely manage to get one MP elected in the general election. Europe as far as the majority of the electorate is concerned is a long way down in their priorities after getting rid of Labour and sorting out the mess they’ve left.

    The eurosceptics can’t even get it straight whose actually betrayed Britain – it’s certainly NOT Cameron – the people who have betrayed Britain are Blair/Brown and Labour ably assisted by Clegg and the Lib Dems and if the Conservatives fail to win the next election one thing is certain the Eurosceptics will have more than enough to complain about. Trouble is after even 13 years some people still don’t get it !! And it’s because of them and their ilk that the Conservatives have been out of power for so long

  206. 206
    Seasick Dave says:

    But these are his favourites.

  207. 207

    I’m coming to benefits Britain, it’s my human right, because if I’m deported back to my country I will be tortured.

    Fast track immigration Social Services Benefits dept. Says:

    Step this way sir, straight to the front of the queue.

    PS If you’ve got any children back at home, don’t forget to put in for your Child Benefit.

  208. 208
    Road_Hog says:

    Soggy Biscuits,

    I’m sure there’ll be no shortage of donors.

  209. 209
    Infanta of Castile says:


    GP’s who draw a salary (rather than being partners since the new GP contract has made partnership openings as rare as hen’s teeth) earn iro £8.5k perannum for each “session” i.e. morning or afternoon/evening surgery and/or home visits. Each session is 4 1/4 hours clinical work i.e. face to face with patients in the surgery. They usually throw in additional unpaid time writing repeat prescriptions, phoning hospitals to discuss urgent cases and chase up results, writing and reading vast quantities of hospital referral correspondance, updating computer records, meetings with PCT pharmacist, doing audits, attending mandatory training sessions etc etc etc. A full time job is normally 8 sessions which, in practice, means getting paid about £68K for 34 hours of clinical work and about 6-10 hours of admin. It’s obligatory to run a car for which expenses are not reimbursed, to be registered with the GMC (£490 per annum and rising exponentially) and to undertake piles of professional development/ appraisal activity to keep the men in Whitehall happy post Shipman.
    But, most salaried GPs don’t get an 8 session contract. They get 4 or 5 and have to box and cox between practices, locum services etc if they want a fulltime job. This is the sort of flexible approach to employment which the government is so fond of.

    So let’s pay MP’s for the time spent in face to face contact with their constituents – that’s probably 2 sessions a week tops so that’s 17K. If we want to be generous, they can have a similar rate for time spent in active debate in the House (not sleeping on the back benches) or on select committees but not for any of the rest of the time. Let’s require all MPs to have 3 A grade A levels (proper subjects), 5-6 years higher education followed by a minimum of 5 years direct work with Joe public, including night and weekend work because that’s the very least that it takes before you can be a GP.

  210. 210
    Pete says:

    “No other business is there where it is run like a family business”

    What are you talking about Guido? How about family businesses?

  211. 211
    satisfied customer says:

    punternet – you know it makes sense

  212. 212

    The Millennium Wheel is close by.

  213. 213
  214. 214
    Brixjac says:

    What is everyone’s obsession with Europe on here. Did you ahve a bad holiday in France or something?

    All thsi crap about the Westminsiter Bubble aswell. Because someone posting on here is not in teh Westminster bubble eh? Get with the real world, get proper jobs and stop taking all this anti-eu propoganda square in the face like a bitch

  215. 215
    wtf is going on says:

    It shows the value of life under Islam i.e. not very much lol.

  216. 216
    Anonymous says:

    Top of the bonfire pile: Jacqui Smith, Blears, 2 Wintertons. MacKay and Kilbride, the Kinnock Family…+++

  217. 217
    JMT says:

    Wow!! Good One.

    As a backdrop or a sort of rolling, dangling session?

    The annual Christmas Tree would be very appropriate too – all those Euro-Quislings dangling like decorations.

    Sends out 3 messages at once:

    1. A Reminder that Norway appreciates our WW2 efforts.
    2. A Reminder that Norway is still free from EU oppression and thriving.
    3. A Reminder to all MPs that the price of treason equates to a roll of piano wire.

  218. 218
    wtf is going on says:

    Ok Milliband, how’s the EU job hunting going?

  219. 219
    Anonymous says:

    And no catamites on the public expense either, I hope.

  220. 220
    A Political Kommissar (3rd class) from the EUSSR Politburo says:

    The EU is very low on the public’s list of priorities because

    a. The Politburo says so.
    b. It is now EU law for EU matters to be very low on the public’s list of priorities
    c. We have gathered up all those who query the EUSSR project, sent them away for 9mm re-education and so they therefore cannot influence any opinion polls.
    d. 9mm re-education also means that they will be unable to steal next year’s election results from my safe.
    e. Eastenders is on.

  221. 221
  222. 222
    Brixjac says:

    Ha Lol.

  223. 223
    oldtimer says:

    nice idea for Guido – you can see them squirming already – maybe get Heather Brooke in there too…..

  224. 224
    Greychatter says:

    Voting anything other than Tory will see Gordon Brown and Mandleson etc., continue with their drive to take Britain into a Soviet style Europe where the voter has less and less say in their own affairs.

    At least with David Cameron there is a chance to slow down the process.
    The French Dutch and Irish all originally voted against The Lisbon Treaty and were ignored by their leaders, maybe other countries did the same which we don’t know about.

    The Voters of Britain have been played for fools by Tony B’lair and Gordon Brown, David Cameron is at least listening but as opposition leader can do nothing about the promised referendum now.

    A protest vote is useless – so don’t forget – you the younger voters will be the ones who pay the price – long term – for Gordon Brown’s and the Labour Party’s treachery.

    Don’t be conned into playing into their hands, all this spin about Cameron letting the British people down is most likely generated by the Labour machine. Wouldn’t put anything past them.

  225. 225
    oldtimer says:

    how about this, obvious really…..

  226. 226
    oldtimer says:

    a trillion times, surely?

  227. 227
    oldtimer says:

    only problem is that it would have to be agreed by the EU first………could take a while

  228. 228
    Well done Daily Telegraph says:

    if it wasn’t for them these piggies would till be wallowing in the money squealing happily

  229. 229
    A Guido Blog Follower says: says:

    We’ll send the tanks in.

  230. 230
    Anonymous says:

    The trouble with a lot MPs in about 60% of constituencies it is not purely their own “hard work” and charisma that gets them into parliament, because those constituencies would vote for a pigs tail if it had the correct coloured rosette tied to it, the marginals decide and the number of actual voters is less than a million who decide overall. MPs just don’t get it (or they pretend not to) that most people think, my grandad voted X, my dad voted X, so I will vote X; maybe just maybe, this time, they will be in for a good rodgering, where a community becomes a one party “state” the incumbants become complacement and nothing gets done, where there is a strong possibilty of voters flipping allegiance minds are concetrated and things tend to be done.
    End of rant

  231. 231
    Bert the Cert says:

    Guido, who is that Emily Nomates chick?
    She is a sight better looking than you:-)

  232. 232
    Gordeppe Marrone says:

    Mea maxima culpa

  233. 233
    1984/25 orwellthatendsbadly says:

    Did Guido listen to the 2.15 play on R4 today by his namesake? If not he should ‘listen again’ & make that standard of humor & pathos the launching pad for even higher hits on this site.

  234. 234
    Uranus, the Magician. says:

    It’s about time that the rank and file cannon-fodder MPs were made to work a normal working day & a normal working week on a 09:00 to 17:00 or 18:00 for 4 or days a week. Friday could be a day to actually attend to face to face constituency business.

    Secretarial help should be provided by Civil Service employed personal assistants. (No family fiddling there!)

    Parliamentary long recesses are an utter nonsense: a proper working pattern would obviate the need for stupid late night sittings.

    Annual holidays should be, say, 6 weeks a year plus Bank Holidays.
    This would destroy at a stroke the second home argument, as they would then be on a par with many folk who have to work away during the week.
    Hotel expenses should be allowable, (with a set maximum per night), during the week if they are beyond reasonable commuting distance of their homes – say 1 to 1½ hours. Many “wage slaves” do this and more, routinely.

    Even more radical – why not locate the centre of government well- centrally? An assembly building in the centre of the UK would make sense and would also relieve the “London is the centre of the UK and nothing outside really matters” view held by so many luvvies.
    (Might help to reduce house prices in London, too).
    I believe that Birmingham has a VERY nice exhibition centre which would do!

  235. 235
    Elephant never forgets says:

    We need to be like the Frogs & the Krauts and say Non or nein more often
    After all if the common policy is good enough for them who are we to set our own self defeating interpretation on the matter

  236. 236
    Elephant never forgets says:

    We can only argue for “The Common policy” of various areas as Lisbon mentions, to be for our benefit from the inside. None of the rest are going to do so

  237. 237
    Great Granddad says:

    Correction. At 100% on the dot it becomes a pyramid scheme. In practice, because risk assets are never worth quite their face value and liquid assets have a tendency to solidify when things get just a tiny bit tough, professionally run banks never go above 90%, and I assure you that life can become hairy at well below that percentage. In the opinion of this very aged banker, every director, every CEO, every top executive in a bank that has a figure over 90% deliberately incurred, belongs in gaol, or in an institution for the protection of the mentally deficient. I am quite prepared to stand on the empty plinth in Trafalgar Square and repeat that statement without the benefit of anonymity.

    Madoff was a total amateur compared to these people. The tax payer has as much hope of getting his money back out of Northern Rock, as I have of getting off this evening with the charming young lady behind my local bar counter. More is the pity.

  238. 238
    Burn 'Em says:

    All of them.

  239. 239

    […] significance not just for our revolutionary-minded readers, but also for comic book fans in … Something to Celebrate this Guy Fawkes Day – Guy Fawkes' blog Something to Celebrate this Guy Fawkes Day. After reading the Kelly Report, listening to him and […]

  240. 240
    Kelly doesn't know what he is talking about says:

  241. 241
    Great Granddad says:

    Regarding Lloyds, it was a good bank, becoming a pyramid scheme only when it idiotically took over the bust HBOS. The excuse was that there was not time enough to carry out due diligence. Assessing the collectability of bank loans is a long and tedious job and no one can argue with that. However, a real banker given access to the books could have pulled out the Loans to Deposit ratio in a matter of minutes. That real banker would have concluded that HBOS was a pyramid scheme. How difficult? I could have done it in thirty minutes at the age of eighteen and so too could almost any one of my colleagues of the time.

  242. 242
    anon says:

    As we approach Remembrance Sunday, with the laying of wreaths on memorials across the length and breadth of the country, and watch the service at the Cenotaph on TV, I dearly wish that the armed forces would march up to McTraitor and his Conchie/Ban-the-Bomb-ex-commies/Right-on-PC fools Cabinet and physically remove all their Poppies; they are not fit to wear them with pride as they do absolutely nothing towards protecting our troops and the rest of the services in any shape or form. They are not fit to lick the boots of the rawest squaddie. But – in a week seeing the slaughter of yet more fine young men who are trying to make a genuine difference – our porcine members of Parliament are squealing like the pigs they are about their lousy wages , loss of perks etc etc.

    These greedy scumbags should try doing an average wage job – and see how much tax levels affect your net pay; soldiers risk their lives and health for low pay, pay tax, live in grim squalor at home as well as their dug-outs and our MP’s et al are daring to grumble that their wages – light years away from the average wage – are too low.

    It is time they had a reality check – not just wages and expenses, but also their disconnection from the electorate.

    If the armed forces on parade are reluctant to dare to strip the poppies from the Traitor Class, then perhaps the Old Soldiers and other members of the various services will! Liebour are not fit to wear the poppy – they have shafted the whole country and sold our freedom to the EU … we will be in debt for generations thanks to a madman, our troops are dying because of a madman, and he has the temerity to wear a poppy. The rest of the piggies are no better – time for a clear out!

  243. 243

    […] significance not just for our revolutionary-minded readers, but also for comic book fans in … Something to Celebrate this Guy Fawkes Day – Guy Fawkes' blog Something to Celebrate this Guy Fawkes Day. After reading the Kelly Report, listening to him and […]

  244. 244
    Anonymous says:

    I’m so so tired.

    So fuck Nublabout & Daveits.

    Where to go?

    I’m in Scotland. SNP is a very nasty class a drug.

    I need help.

  245. 245
    HEAVYARSE says:

    Indeed,…well done Guido. And everybody else!!

    38 degrees are now @ 50, 000 members…forced a ‘recall law’ onto the current reformist agenda and according to some reports their petition to the Prince of Darkness has forced an (almost certainly temporary) u-turn on proposed legislation to enforce DRM/restrict internet filesharing.

    Do you have any gossip on 38 degrees/David Babbs et al Guido?

    Oh and did you get a chance to listen to my anti-political ranting music yet btw? It’s very good..:D

    Happy Plotday!!

  246. 246
    Stelios says:


  247. 247
    Anonymous says:

    Who is that fat oily bugger with glasses and a touch of the tar brush about him?

  248. 248
    Anonymous says:

    I see the Prime Mentalist couldn’t bow his head at the Cenotaph today.

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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