Other notables already committed to the ensemble include Mr Tony Blair blowing his own trumpet; the miniature Milliband blowing Peter Mandelson’s trumpet and Mandelson himself on bums. Peter Hain will be on double-base – or two-face as we fondly refer – and Bob Ainsworth will be playing with his flute (what else?).

Negotiations for video manager are underway with Jacqui Smith as current favourite – though husband ‘The Dick’ Timney insists he could handle it better.

Candidates for most other positions are currently being considered. As might be expected, there is a plethora of applications from experienced Westmister members who wish to join Alastair and I in the fiddle section (again) and as many more who seek to use their skills in the wind section . Such a wide choice means difficult decisions must be made and, as ever, this is proving to be very difficult for me so any suggestions will be gratefully received – though probably ignored (a la Nutt).