Friday Caption Competition
Another Twittish Tweet from Kerry McCarthy | BBC
What’s the Point of Our Anti-Business Secretary? | Ruth Porter
HuffPo Hiring Pro-Iranian Mehdi “Act of Desperation” | Fox News
Krugman is Seductive, Simplistic and Unrealistic | Jeremy Warner
Lower Taxes, Higher Growth, the Statistical Evidence | CPS
Bash the Unions, Gatecrash the Quangos | ConservativeHome
I Told You So: Euro is Doomed | Douglas Carswell
PM Speaks for the Nation When Bashing Balls | Quentin Letts
Time for an Alliance | Dan Hannan
Farage’s Plan | ConservativeHome
Guardian Open News is a Failure | Heather Brooke
Balls Calls for Deeper Cuts | Speccie
Lessons from the Thirties | CPS
PMQs Idiots | Harry Cole
Jon Cruddas is Not the Messiah | Dan Hodges
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Lord Lamont told ITV News…
“I think the PM is just human and Ed Balls is a pretty irritating person”
Please tell me that’s not his ‘cum’ face
Crikey, No 1.
Jesus
Brown does look like he’s in the final throes of having a jolly good tug, there.
Boris Johnson on Eastenders
Gordon Brown having a hand shandy
I really have seen it all
down to the vinegar strokes
October 2nd 2009.
Yes or No? – Will Ireland give the ‘right’ answer this time?
Good interview from Farage, once again exposing the Pro-EU hypocracy in Ireland.
Guido, surprised that you’ve been so quiet on this issue, considering how much it could change things for all of us in the future, concentrating the real power with the unelected Commission.
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601085&sid=ava4REBBW3Ww
Oct. 1 (Bloomberg) — Royal Bank of Scotland Group Plc and Lloyds Banking Group Plc, rescued by British taxpayers last year, injected 3.03 billion euros ($4.4 billion) into their Irish units during the past 10 months amid rising real estate losses.
Records in Dublin’s Companies Registration Office show the two banks made a series of six payments, with the first in December and the most recent in August. RBS injected about 1.58 billion euros, while Lloyds sent 1.45 billion euros.
“The scale of that figure is quite shocking,” Brian Lucey, associate professor of finance at Trinity College Dublin, said in an interview. “They weren’t leaders in the Irish market. The figure just shows the level of clean-up needed.”
UK taxpayer propping up The Eire economy to hide the damage the Euro does.
Ireland would be foolish to vote yes.
If you think I’m going to suck youbr lollipop you’re mistaken.
Well there’s no need to be like that Barefootcontessa. He was only pointing out that, as I am, Guido seems to be a bit quiet on this matter given this historic and important day. How about a box of belgium choccies?
The British people will see through the media-hype coz they are not the fools the tories take them for
Irish Police Threaten To Arrest Referendum Monitors
if they ask for totals of votes cast at polling stations –
HERE
Tapestry – superficially interesting but more information required…obviously, one side in an election cannot in the midst of it seek to influence the mechanics of the process swo police action would be approrpiate. Don’t believe everything you read on websites, eh? good lad.
The Irish Government are refusing to allow totals of votes cast to be communicated to anyone, under threat of arrest.
Transparency should not be illegal, for god’s sake.
People will make up their own minds, not me.
It’s not any website but the Catholic backed COIR campaign
http://www.coircampaign.org
It is not influencing the mechanics of an election to ask what the results are…..is it?
tapetry – these points you make point up the kind of new informaiton we need to get before coming to any kind of reliable judgement. And “yes” the website is very obviously biased.
You mean the story is potentially significant
but you want confirmation of the story…
Call the Garda or the Sheriff of Dublin for a denial.
I saw a photo of a Nun slipping hers in to a ballot box held together by cotton ribbon linked through a padlock which had the padlock key dangling from the ribbon. Doh.
Fascist bastards.
“Would it make any difference if I licked you like this?”
“Peter firmly rejected Gordon’s offer of a good rimming”
Told you all, its in the title, it is what us Bohemians like to do.
Peter said “I’ve had better”
‘gordon, if you don’t take your hand off my knee I’m going to thsqueam and thsqueam ’til I blow the house down!
You lot are just behaving like an Eastenders audience – morons, you make me SICK
Great, nothing I like better than being in an eastenders’ audience!
Are you up to a bit of punctuation do you think, or is that a little too much for you?
Ahahahaha
Don’t you fools realise you are being “dumbed down” by an Irishman – is there not a supreme irony there ? GROW UP.
What kind of an irony? Do tell us, we’re longing to know.
Fuck off, man with silly name. You know nothing about anyone here, and nobody here cares what you say, apart from the payroll stooges like Jimmy, Paedo, Master Baiter etc. And I thought you Nulab lot were big into anti-racism, like Marxist Dynast Militwat, so why the racist insinuation behind “being dumbed down by an Irishman?”
a supreme one
barfootcontessa, why argue with an idiot? They only bring you down to their level.
Gordon: “No Peter, that’s not how you form your hand into a teardrop for fisting, Imagine you are rolling your hand up like your tongue .. like this.”
Peter: “Shhh, Gordon. The cameras are still on.”
Madleson says ” Gordon I am sure somone just called us chumps”
GB: Do you remember those sweets you could put your tongue through. The mint with the hole?
PM: You’re selling the Mint Gordon. £100 million, ONO.
If he sells the Mint, how is he supposed to print all that money he talks about?
[/joke]
Mandelson’s not noticed that Gordo’s just gobbled his Topic bar in one gulp.
Gordon in the act of swallowing Mandelson’s Quaalude
Heh! heh! (Urghh!)
“Mandy, have you heard of rimming ??”
Mandelscum, ‘ Well gordon, if you thjink I’m going to wait until Sarah’s finished with you you’re sadly mistaken.
“I won’t call you a Hunt, I’ll just use you as one.”
Gordon: You’re so huge.
Mandy: Not here Gordon.
“For Gawd’s sake Sarah, fetch ‘is pills!”
LOL!
Crumbs. Guido’s YouTube video has had nearly 64000 hits!
Beauty and the Beast.
Guess Boulton is the candlestick
Peter knows my arsehole looks like this when I’m touching cloth. And what’s more, he tucks my shirt into my underpants afterwards.
Brown caught in a moment of taking his daily anti-depressant pill.
If I squeeze these with my left hand, his tounge comes out!
It would appear that the Dark Lord has Gordo’s tongue on a length of very thin twine. He is certainly an adept puppetmaster.
Yes his left hand is up his chuff pulling the strings, nothing new just doing it in public now. Dirty little Hoon
His ‘tounge?’
Back to Skool…..
Mandy says – “Jesus Gordon – you could have told me toenails was already down there”
‘you know gordon it’s no fun having my hand up your back, it’s all spotty and damp, and you know I’m allergic to string vests’.
My favourite!
It’s not his tongue.
“Pull you hand back a bit Mand’. Your thumb has jst come into view.”
Pink News
Fuck – did Sarah see that?
Mandy looks to the right to consider his political future.
Here Gordon, do you like my new watch?
Mandelson tries but fails to appeal to NuLab voters with comedy hand puppet act.
“and as I said that I’d done this to Mark Oaten I expected Clegg to go with the PR vote promise”
Next time, Peter, you can do it like this.
Chump
pair of chumps
A pair of Labour chumps.
Tautology
Mandy: I think the prime Minister has done a jobby in his nappy again. Nurse – a new nappy, his favourite buttplug and his medication please.
Mandy taking Gordon in hand!
“hey Pete, do you think they’re gonna buy this bullshit?”
OK eyes down for a full house!
Full House? We’ve been bussing them in from Tyneside and the place is still only 1/2 full.
“I didn’t know you were Left handed Peter.”
“So thats where the happy switch is “
I little further to the left Peter, Almost there, a little more…..No, too far, back abit… up a bit…. back a bit…
OH FOR GOD SAKE! DO YOU NEED ME TO DRAW YOU A FUCKING MAP!
Left a bit, right a bit… oooh that’s it!
Your lucky i’m right handed. The left hand just sucks …
Peter, left a bit, a bit more. That it! Don’t worry they can’t see your left hand.
While discussing the economy with Lord Mandelson, Gordon shows his ‘money shot’ face.
Our money has been well and truly shot by this Hoon’s actions over the last 12 years.
Mandy (P.o.D.): If you’re a good boy all day and be nice to the media you can play on your rocking horse later.
I can whistle with my tongue out.
Mandy : “Shall I fetch the Kleenex dear?”
“So Nick Robinson fell to his knees behind me and the next thing I knew, his tongue sort of went like this…..”
Nice one
“GO OONN!! While no one’s watching. Kiss me quick – I’m a cream puff!@
“My Hero”
Help for Heroes.
Bill and Ben were looking forward to their day at the seaside…..
Gay Pride Unveil Their New Leaders !
Brown: I’m using a brown chump plug.
harriet harmans punternet speech goes down well with prime minister
So, Peter, you think you know how to teach a Scotsman to roll his ‘r’s?
“No I’m not putting my cock in your mouth again Gordon”
“Gordon honey, is any thing happening yet? My arm’s getting tired”
“Anything?”
“Maybe a little faster.”
That was Mandy Pepperidge…
All Mandies are like that.
By the way, damn glad to meet you Otter
‘My wife’s going to buy me better watch than your watch, she’s promised santas going to bring it down the chimney with my tangerine and my nuts.
Mandelson: “Arm?”
Brown: “No”
“Ambulance?”
“No”
“Amphetamine?”
“No”
“Architecture?”
“No!”
“Ainsworth?”
“No”
“Andrew Marr?”
“No.”
“Err….angry voter?”
“No”
“‘Arriet ‘Arman?”
“Ha ha ha. Give up?”
“I am a fighter, not a quitter!”
“I’ll give you a clue. There are lots of them in this hall.”
“Arsenal…supporters?”
“No but you’re very close…”
I declare this the winner
BRILLIANT
“Autocue? Alan Johnson? Are you sure it begins with A? You know what your spellings like – you spelt Omaha with a B. Its about as good as your maths.”
“Its definitely A. Give up?”
“No. Never! Angela Eagles? Asbo’s? ….”
“Aliens?”
“No”
“Alchemists?”
“No”
“Antepodeans?”
“No”
“Ante-Pandemonians?”
“No”
“Arsonists?”
“No, but you’re very close….”
“Alistair Darling?”
“No”
“”Alan Milburn”
“Naw”
“Alan sugar?”
“nope”
“Lord Ahmed!”
“No”
“Abu Hamza? Give us a clue.”
“Ok – Its pink and round, a bit hairy and can be very smelly.”
“Andy Burnham?”
Arsen Wenger?
“a chance?”
“?!!”
can none of you spell arsehole?
The 2009 Muppet Show Reveal The New Waldorf And Statler !
Mandy: Has someone farted?
GB: I don’t know but this pill tastes yummy
Winner!
Lol – plenty more please
Sorry Mandy, I didn’t expect it to snap off in my mouth!
Claps.
Has he got that as well?
the drugs do work
they dont make things worse
You know, it just struck me that all those people complaining about “extremist right wing blogs” might think a caption photo suggesting the deputy PM is wanking off the PM at the party conference table could be perhaps in poor taste…
What do you think? Am I being a bit too sensitive perhaps?
hehehe
Never imagined for a second that the photo implied that Mandy was relieving the mental one.
Just assumed they were counting the audience to relieve the boredom.
So what do they do after the extremely short amount of time needed to do that?
Because this appears here, presumably Andrew Marr now has to ask Gordon about it …….”What do you say to rumours on certain right wing blogs that Mandelson gave you a hand job at the Party Conference?”
tea just came out of my nose…
red wine out of mine
Mangled Bum I Suck Him Like This !
Brown Well I Like To Roll My Tongue Around The end Like This !
Mandelson controls Gordon’s tongue with invisible thread.
puppetmaster and puppet
Muppetmaster and muppet more like.
Sorry Peter, I’ll ask Sarah to give you a tissue.
pair of chumps
Attempting to cheer up Conference, the new comedy double act falters as neither can play the straight-man
Does Cillit Bang get spunk off a £12,500 watch?
Do you mind sir, this watch cost £21,500 but I got it a bit cheaper in Rio.
PM1: Shit Gordon, put it away, not now
PM2: Is this what they call having ‘a jolly’? It’s fun…..
Life long labour supporter Walter Wolfgang shouts: “Are you going to drag me out of the auditorium this time?… fucking Nazis!”
did the earth move for you gay boy?
Feel so t-t-t-tongue tied
I’m not shaking
Feel so t-t-t-tongue tied
I’m not shaking
Feel so t-t-t-tongue tied
I’m not shaking
Feel so t-t-t-tongue tied
I’m not shaking
Tick tock we dance to the beat
The clock spins as you spin into me
Feel my hands, I’m not shaking
McJock (thinks), ‘Mein Gotte! This Sybian’s better than a rocking horse with a Unicorn!’
Mandy (thinks), ‘Get off it you bastard, it’s my turn!’
You’re shit stop copying tat you wanker.
Fuck off and get yer own palindrome! (I suppose TaT is a palindrome, but you are still a tosser!)
DOH!
WOH!
Yoh
OOOH!
“Ow! Peter’s £21,500 Patek Phillipe keeps snagging on my zip”
“I know but I have to keep the Self Winding mechanism going”
Mangledbum This Is My Favourite Sexual Activity Whats Yours Gordon ?
Brown: Luuba Lubba Lubba
Mandy: GB, I think my rectum is leaking.
GB: I have noticed. It maybe because the Sun no longer shines out of your arse.
I’m trying to think of anyone who’s had the piss taken out of them more than Gordon Brown – in terms of competition I reckon you’re perhaps looking at Michael Jackson, Dubya, Gary Glitter and Hitler.
It’s not great is it?
Not feeling sorry for him are you Frank?
Feeling sorry for me! The rest of the world looks at our country, and sees that clown….
He’s like Boris Yeltsin without the fun.
Know what you mean, like no fun, but the results the same, a complete fucking shambles.
When you said you will Toss me for the leadership Peter, I didna realise you meant this.
Brown: “If I roll up my tongue like this I can get it right up your rectum”
Mandelson “You could get your whole head up my rectum”
Gordon Brown’s second cock makes an appearance.
ALL hands on top of the table boys.
“What is thy bidding, my master?”
“You have no need to concern yourself Gordon. Everything is proceeding as I have forseen.”
The farce is strong in this one!
For fucks sake Gordon stop pulling funny faces or we’ll be on Guido’s friday caption contest.
Conference discuss ‘the pink pound in your pocket’.
That should be the pink quarter pound in your pocket,surely.
Brown: I’m worried really. I don’t think pink and red go together.
Mandy: You’re like SOOOOO gay!!
The winner
Brown ‘Marr’s a dead man walking’
Mandy ‘Get Alistair on to it. He did a good job on David Kelly’
Less said the better, I don’t think I want to go “there”
“I’ve found your Brazialan chump, Peter”
Tongue tied.
Peter Tatchell Outs The Two Top Members Of The”Gaybore Party”
My friend’s name is Basil. His friend’s name is Bond. And when we go out together they call us Basildon Bond.
Cos we’re all queers together
We only go round in pairs
Yes we’re all queers together
Excuse us while we go upstairs
Gordo “Have you seen my beard today”
Mandeslon “No, but I’ve heard her fat legs rubbing together”
Mandelson gives up on PMs attempts at tongue-in-cheek humour.
Weren’t there 3 water bottles on the table a minute ago ?
Too right he owes me – I’ve got him by the bollocks now.
The Cat Lister and Rimmer
You make me tongue tied (tongue tied)
Tongue tied, whenever you are near me (near me)
Tied tongue (tied tongue)
Tied tongue (tied tongue)
Oh I’m beggin’ on my knees
Sweet, sweet darling, listen please
Understand me when I say
Bedurble-diggle-doggle-dooby-doggle-durgle-day
You make me tongue tied (tongue tied)
Tongue tied, whenever you are near me (near me)
Tied tongue (tied tongue)
Tied tongue (tied tongue
But who is Rimmer?
Exactly! Who is Rimmer?
And why did he have ‘H’ for hologram stamped on his forehead when we all know it should have been ‘GBH’: ‘Gordon Brown’s a Herbert?
Hazel Blears is Red Dwarf
Harriet “Punternet” Harm-Men surely?
H is for Hoon
‘H’ is for heinous!
The Rimmer experience: Rimmer the hero
Brown “Oohh, that’s nice. I never realised you were left handed Peter”
It looks like Peter Mandelson is Tossing Gordon Brown off!
They are both a pair of fucking wankers anyway! Is there any truth to the rumour that Mandelson, Brown, Eddie Izzard and Julian Clary are looking at competing to fill the slot of Four Puffs and a Piano on Jonathan Ross?
It would be a royal act as four queens would be involved! Gordon Brown could play the clown, tripping and slipping up all the time. A bit like him as PM!
We are as butch as they come ducky!
Would you like to see Dave and me do the ‘Bullingdon bump’ in fancy dress ?
“For being the big nob that you are Gordon, you’ve got a tiny cock”.
“Fuck off Mandy, I,I,I, remember what my father said to me, If it looks like a Hunt, smells like a Hunt and tastes like a Hunt, then its a turd….”
Gordon practices “Playing the Trombone”
A rusty trombone, perchance?
Only the mouthpiece is rusty.
Mandelson to dummy:
If you don’t want me to move my left hand and make you nod like Churchill’s dog , just stay still and whatever you do, don’t storm out.
What a pair of silly buggers! BOOM BOOM!
As Peter idly pulled at the mysterious long strand of hair, Gordon started to get a strange albeit not wholly unwelcome feeling in his pants.
1.09PM above should have “The Cat” above the first part of the song and Lister and Rimmer above the part in brackets
What are you, Jimmy Saville?
How’s about a little… fix it for us.
Dummy: “No more goom and gust”
Ventriloquist: “Ooh, I am a chump”
A possible winner. Well Done!
Mandleson has his finger on the pulse.
The BBC Relaunch Pinky And Preky With The Two Biggest Truoghing Pig From The Lie-Bore Party !
TYPO Troughing
Typo Perky!
Mandy- I would love to fuck those two chumps in charge of the Conservative party.
Brown- I think we should go to Copenhagen to get the Photo shot with Barack Hussein Obama Sarh says you can always tell a man from the size of his hands. Long and thin slips right in.
Poor Sarah!
Short & thick does the trick.
Mandy lends a hand
Peter that was wnderful, I tasted what you had for supper last night.
“Gordon, Where’s that awful eggie smell coming from”
Police investigate mysterious disappearance of third wise monkey.
WINNER!
167 ‘We’ll all be murdered in our beds, Buddy!’
Would ‘Celebrity Sperm Donation’ replace ‘Big Brother’? Endemol were not sure . . .
Can’t be right, I count more empty seats than full ones. Start again, this time, empty seats are “opportunity spaces for equality and diversity co-ordinators…”
Mandelson: “Anyone seen Adam Boulton?”
Brown: “He sleeps with the fishes off Shoeburyness… it was the right thing to do.”
“he’s messy, he’s noisy, he gets up at a terrible hour…….”
And he keeps taking the ugly pills the chump. BHO here I cum again ooohh ladies you know what they say after Black you can never go back, after Brown you raid the shanty town.
I fucked Gordon thrice and all i got for it was a walk on part at this GLBT conference in Brighton.
Gordon: I can confirm that Peter has me wrapped round his little fingers!
‘And its goodnight from me’
‘And its goodnight from him’
The two loonies?
Perhaps the two Wrongies?
LMFAO!!
wrongies
Hahahahahahahahahahaha! jesus wept. thas fucking brilliant that is
“And in this weeks clip show I’ll be re announcing policy initiatives from 1997 that were a big hit”
“And I’ll be taking a big hit in the polls”
Hey, the show ended with a big joke,and here they are.
‘…and in a packed rectum tonight…’
At last. Something that made me smile. Thanks, Minnie.
These Labour supporters Peter, what time exactly did you tell them to be here?
[Mandleson grabs Gordon's balls] and says “Now we’re not going to say anything stupid, are we”.
Gordon begins to doubt that it was chocolate that Peter asked him to lick off his party sausage.
“This is no time for a prostate examination Peter”
Is Glennys part of the Government now or is she still an MEP – is there a vacancy there?
only in her head
Peter Mandelson’s jumbo gobstopper tactic for improving the Prime Minister’s communication skills works better than expected.
Brown basking in the knowledge that this time Mandelson would have to eat the biscuit.
…well you gave me the money and I phoned them both
Brown;
“Aaaahhhhh – thank God this table cloth goes down to the ground – I’ll have to walk out of here behind Peter – mmmm,sounds good”
Is this what Sarah meant when she said you were messy and noisy?
Quantitative Easing
Win
The thought of actually singing “Jerusalem” and particularly “England’s green and pleasant land” had the Prime Minister in a quandary.
Mandelson uses hand to imitate hooded cobra in gordons direction, gordon has lost his flute and tries to whistle.
I’m telling you Peter, Sarah loves my tongue technique!
Brown: that new Obama size dildo is really doing it for me peter.
Mandy: turn it down a bit gordon-they can hear it buzzing in the front row!
Mandy: Did I just get a whiff of spunk?
Sarah : Yes, Gordon just farted.
Mandelson- Look Brown, you know the score, I’m here to prop you up and hold of a general election until my friend Tony gets the EU presidency. Then I’m of to Europe again with a lucrative sinecure. You chump!!
I’m telling you Peter, Sarah loves my tongue technique too!
Do i really have to say that he is my hero?
Gordon stop it!! You’ll go blind if you do that.
Fagin and the artful dodger ponder on how much of their own pilferage should remain in the personal pot.
‘In this world one thing counts.
In the bank – large amounts.
Large amounts don’t grow on trees,
you’ve gotta print a billion or twooooo
Large amounts don’t grow on trees,
you’ve gotta print a billion or twooooo
Gord,
You’ve got to print a billion or two’.
It’s a trillion or two unfortunately.
Hahahahahaha.
Dear old gent passing by
Something nice takes his eye
Everything’s clear, attack the rear
Get in and steal a pension or two.
You’ve got to rob a pension or two, boys
You’ve got to rob a pension or two.
When I see someone rich,
Both my thumbs start to itch
Only to find some peace of mind
We have to double his income tax too.
You’ve got to double his income tax too, boys
You’ve got to double his income tax too.
Who will but UK Govt Bonds???
UK taxpayer owned banks will be forced to.
Remove your money forthwith from these banks.
Mandy is thinking “Not long ’till i can dump this chump and get back on the euro gravy train. Then i’ll be able to afford a really expensive watch”
Mandy: ‘I said Chump gordon not Chimp you fucking arsehole’
“If I can come back WE can come ba.. oh you did, where’s a towel”
One man and his dog.
One dog and his man.
One man and his Gimp
One Mandy and his Gimp
“Is that his Montblanc or is he blessed with a Massif Central? ” ruminated Gordon.
Mandy: OK, who farted?
Ok, we’ll play one more time, and this time you be Elena Ceausescu
Gord : dumb dee dumb dee striding dumd dee dumb best statesmen dumb dee dumb!
Mandy : hmm wonder if i still have Merkel’s phone number ?
Gord : dumb dee dumb dee striding dumd dee dumb best statesmen dumb dee dumb!
cruel… but funny
“Love you forever…… who the hell does she think she is?”
“Shhhhh………. Im thinking about Barack…………………………”
Broon: “Lordy! What are you doing?”
Mandy: “I’m checking to see if you have any balls.”
“I can see that same grin coming on as you had when Hannan was talking to you in the EU parliament”
God, he’s dropped his guts again!
Brown ” Is this how I should place my tongue when rimming you?”
Hey Mandy, flick your booger towards me and I’ll catch it on my tongue, see how talented I am now?
Mandy reaches down for pills, as Gordons tongue tells him its pill time
http://newslion.blogspot.com/
Brown squeezes out a silent one and Mandy blames the incontinent schoolboy Millipede Minor.
Spot the bogey.
“I want to be Napoleon”
“Too late, Tony’s got first dibs on that, Gordon”
No tonguing in public, Gordon.
Gordon demonstrates the art of ventriloquial farting.
Oh Gordon, I love the smell of you on my finger
Mandy:
FFS – don’t look now – but have you what this dirty bastard Gordo’s doing with his todger – all over the fucking table cover – and he’s farted at the same time – he’s been trying to do this all fucking week!
Dirty dirty bastard!
I’ll have what he’s having!
Fiddler and the poof
Oy vay!
I like it – it works both ways (geddit)!
Jonathan Ross’s new band are down one piano player”.
You see I pull this monofilament attached to his tongue and I can make the loony look even more bizarre
Of an evening Reinaldo and I like to make him dance with a posy up his anus too
Where did you find this Monica Lewinsky girl,
I must say she’s very Good.
Don’t mess up the skirt
You leave my luvverly Monnie out of it please.
After a good rummage Mandy finally pulls out Labours manifesto for the next election.
Peter discovers the appalling effect Gordon’s diet is having on his digestion.
As Peter Mandelson becomes more irritated by Gordon’s bored humming during Ed Balls’ speech he reflects that Sarah Brown was right.
Gordon is a noisy chump.
Mandy demonstates that there is a very fine line between the positions of deputy and prime minister.
Brown exercises some endogenous growth theory
He’s thinking of me again
Mandy: Phwoarrrrrr – was that you Gordon??
Gordy: It was the RIGHT THING TO DO Peter, considering that curry we had last night.
Gordon can’t wait for the NWO when he’ll be able to openly use his lizard tongue.
/tinfoil
Mandelson discovers that Brown has NO BALLs
He’s sucking them.
Brown professes to have found Rebekah Wade’s ring she insisted Labour had lost.
Mandy: “Gordon, you’ve got to roll them like this before you eat them. Watch the hand, and FFS don’t stare”.
Grdon gets up at a terrible time.
Weak bladder probably
Gordon has a terrible time getting up.
Didn’t he say erections bring chaos?
Left a bit!
Peter Practices the Ig Nobel cure for Hiccoughs
Peter tried hard to remember where he had last seen his cock ring………
Gordon engages in some endogenous growth theory
New Labour; new low as Mr and Mrs Invisible are both ‘attended to’ in Brighton.
Gordon, “Peter, the delegates love it, they clapped.”
Peter (thinking), “Yeeesss, all three of them. Wonder if the Tories would accept my membership application….”
Opel. Fruit. Made to make your mouth water.
And its goodbye from me …… and its goodbye from him!
Mandelson “Are you on the bottle again Gordon?”
To Lou Reed:
“Ahmmm waitin’ for mah maaaan…”
Mandy: Please exercise some subtlety you slob. How many times do I have to tell you that televised two-hand tugs are PR nightmare.
Mandy – You’re not guzzling those pills again are you Gordon?
Gordo – My eyesight is perfectly fine.
hang on … i found it … But who cares where you put it, they did say the speech was shit anyhow.
Mandleson looks severe as he surreptitiously inserts pills in the Prime Mentalist’s back passage as he starts to go gaga and loses control of his tongue.
Gordon stop sucking your false eyeball . It’s disgusting.
So I dribbled my spunk into the turkey baster and shoved it up Sarah’s c’unt.
Oh that’s disgusting, don’t talk to me about c’unts.
with the apostrophe that’s now a five letter word – like chump.
Or Count.
There must be some way out of here, said the Joker to the Thief.
*APPLAUSE*
***Standing ovation***
There’s too much confusion, I need some hand relief.
No need to get excited, the thief he gently spoke. There are many here among us who that we’re a joke.
Best yet!!
** takes a bow **
Is that “All along the Phillipe Patek Watchtower”?
See Peter, I told you my tongue is bigger than my penis.
That is why I had to use a turkey baster to impreganate my wife, Sarah.
Mandy: “I’ll do the hand action, you do the mouth action….altogether now!”
Gordon: ‘I’ve come over all queer’
Mandy: ‘That’s the watch f*cking ruined!!’
Gordo pretends he’s not looking as he realises that Mandy has left his ‘Super Knob’ penis enlarging vacuum pump on the desk in front of him.
Yes, Gordon’s cock is like a fucking acorn.
But I have bought a very large dildo and an anal butt plug to fill the holes.
Mandy: “Mighty oaks may grow from little acorns but I still prefer a mouthful of brazil nuts. “
Well I think you are lucky Sarah, Neil’s cock is even smaller.
I couldn’t borrow your butt plug for the weekend could I?
Butt plugs for all! Sorry, that should have been bath plugs for all!
Brown: “Sir James Gordon Brown, Knight of the Thistle. LORD Brown of Kirkcaldy. Lord BROWN of Kirkcaldy. Baron Brown of Kirkcaldy in the Kingdom of Fife. The Rt Hon Earl Brown of Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath, OM, KT. His Grace the Duke of Kirkcaldy, Marquess of Aberdour, Lord High Pursuivant, OM, KT, DSO and bar…..”
Remind me again Mandy, why did you give me this everlasting gobstopper and when will you let me speak to the media next?
I feel strangely moved, – and warm.
Brown: “Do you see that camp old queen sitting in the front row? Well, that’s you that is”.
Well Andrew (Marr), since you ask I DID need to take pills for a while to help me get through the day. Not any more though, not now I’ve discovered anti-depressant suppositories
not ordinary anti-depressant suppositories but M&S anti-depressant suppositories
What’s brewning?
The Dark Baron Queen unimpressed as Gordon attempts Mendelssohn’s Symphony No. 1 in C Minor, on his Jews Harp.
GB: This lump of snot is rather tasty!
Lord of everything or so it seems: Stupid boy!
Gordon Brown’s an openly-gay, media-savvy and hard-bitten fighter who will not rest until he has kissed the recession and kissed the Taleban goodbye and secured this country’s future.
Gordon, you’re a photogenic international statesman respected by other European Prime Ministers, constantly at the centre of international gatherings and we’re proud of you.
I’m a fighter! I’m a quitter…..
A bullshitter not a quitter….
Your nearly there “a bullshitter and a quitter”
Or at least four consecutive letters in “bullshitter”
Mandy: Hey, Gordon. You’d better finish off quick, Sarah’s coming back.
I want to be a writer
A good start but a little short on plot and characterisation.
Mandyqueen turns away in disgust as Gordon says that he saw that David Starkey on Question time last night and enthuses over his brilliance.
Gordo : Have you ever wanked off in time to ‘Jerusalem’?
Mandy: I used to but not any more – it took for ages – I do it to the Wedding March
Interesting bit of gossip from the Telegraph! Who were these naked skinny dippers not the pair of buggers in the picture?
Making waves
Maybe it was the unseasonal weather or perhaps a double suicide attempt during the singularly depressing Labour conference. I hear two men, both “extremely senior figures in the party hierarchy”, were seen in the sea some distance off Brighton beach late on Tuesday. Both men, so I am told, were naked.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/celebritynews/6252083/Natasha-Kaplinsky-copes-with-party-politics.html
‘It must have been cold there in my shadow..’
First cut we’re gonna have to make is your nails, Mandy.
“Er….Gordon….the psychiatrist wants to know if he can have his testicle back.”
“Oh lovely, first Guido and now Mandy. What did you say Guido? Oh a fisking, my mistake.”
Oh Mrs Palm and your five lovely daughters,
Thank you for having me and being oh so kind,
I’ve got pains in my arms,
And my dong is growing shorter,
My knees have turned to water,
And I think I’m going blind.
Mrs. & Mrs. Cheerful against a suitable background colour.
The Bad and the Ugly, what’s happened to Good?
Watch this gobstopper go right into that Boulton’s eye.
Gordon and Peter bitching at Brighton:
Shut that door…….look at the muck in here……he seems like a nice boy.
“Call me rosebud“
EUK!
An Analogue PM and his Lord living in a Scrap age scheme
What job have you been given by President Blair.
Grima Wormtongue keeps a lookout for any threats to his influence, as Theoden’s power declines even further
What job have you been given by the new President.
Arse licker and poodle. Can’t wait!
I’ll warrant that the Dark Baron gets through truckloads of antiseptic mouthwash!
Half of the New Labour team for University Challenge (dumbed down version).
Scumbag College Westminster
PM: Quick the pills are wearing off, he’s slobbering again!!
No matter where he looked Mandy still couldn’t find any election-saving ideas.
Stop laughing Gordon, all I did was lean back as Nat Rothschild ripped poor Boy George Osborne to pieces, honestly. Really it was nothing to do with me, you don’t believe me do you?
This would have made quite a good caption comp photo too:
http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00900/SNN0209BN-380_900697a.jpg
The SUN has got its hat on, hip hip hip hooray,
the SUN has got its hat on and it’s coming out for Dave
I do wish I had not accepted Peter’s kind offer to sit on my face!
Mandelsonio the Magnificent demonstrates the art of misdirection in public – the right hand does *this* while the left hand does – omfg!
Mandybum is distracted from his gaga slave for just a moment, as his starts to spit glace cherries and the journo’s in the front row. QED
Mandybum is distracted from his gaga slave for just a moment, as he starts to spit glace cherries at the journo’s in the front row. QED
Mandlebum! -Stop playing with Under-Manager’s orifice!
Under-Manager! – Do you do it deliberately?
“Happy ending!”
Mandy:- My watch, who’s nicked my watch?
FOR THE READERS OF VIZ : Terry Fuckwitt Meets Spoilt Bastard !
Mandelson: “…Gordon… I think Tony Blair’s just come in to the hall!”
Brown: “Oh, God! I think I’m going to be sick!”
PM: Phlluurrrp!
Manhandledbum clicks fingers: “Nurse Harman more pills tout de suit”
Bird’s voice stage right: ” Fuck off and get ‘em yerself – Chump”
Andrew Marr’s lilting tones somewhere in the distance:
” Who ate all the pills?
Who ate all the pills?
You mad bastard
You mad bastard
You ate all the pills”
The Prince of Darkness enjoys his refief from hemiheads.
In the meantime…………….
Gordo enjoys his gobstopper.
The Prince and the Popper.
Nice One !
Lovely.
Gorgon thinks……Well nobody saw me eat bogeys in the commons so Im gonna tug one off at conference then shake mandys hand.
OT
Anyone know how the Irish vote for the Blair EU Presidency is going?
Its either a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’.
Thats a relief then
Its all going according to plan.
Emperor Ming (The Merciless) Meets Hash Brown (saviour Of The Universe) !
Mandleson’s version of ‘Digital Brittain’ sticking his finger up your arse while bleeding you dry with taxes!
Both: Wee Rectum – where?
Mandy: Oh, you’re saying the pensions – we wrecked ‘em? Yes Gordon’s good at that!
says Mandy…..’Gordon,quickly,hurry up,someone’s coming’
Gordon: My wife’s got a chump.
Mandy: Shut that door!
I’m gonna give Mandy a piece of my tounge
Gordon Have You Seen Ronaldo ? I Can’t Trust That Bitch Anywhere !
Speed dating and care in the community were never going to be a doo combination.
Arrrggghhhh – “good combination”.
oh dear charles.
Mandy Explains: So you hold it like this and turn away for the ‘money shot’ so you don’t cop it in your good eye!
GB: Ooh er missus
” unreliable BBC chump” thought Mandy, as one of Toenails’ toes began to emerge from Gordon’s body
Mangledbum : If Gordon Was On Drugs You Would Know, Because They Cause Uncontrollable Jaw Movements !
Mandelson has firm grip on Brown’s primary source of economic ideology.
“Now, WHERE did I put that bogie?”
“You know, I’ve just realised something …. We’re going to lose aren’t we?”
Mangledbum: And Our New Mental Health Bill Is Designed For People Like This !
GB: A queen once tryed to usurp my position, I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti!
Mandy: “Dont worry Gordon, the Irish polling booths will be shut in an hour then we can get you the help you need before Tony becomes your President”
Mandy: “Omigod! Ten minutes before your speech and Blair’s just walked in.”
McBroon: “Cross my fingers, cross my toes, cross my eyes and hope he goes.”
GB “Help me Peter Ah’ve got the zip of ma breeks stuck.”
PM ” I have no sympathy you chump, I distinctly told you to wear a kilt to win over our Scottish supporters”
Coitus occultus
Chumps flee party.
GB: Ba-durr ba-durr gnnng durr paaaahip ba-durr.
PM: Just hold it in for another 30 seconds Gordon. As soon as everyone starts clapping I’ll drop this pill in your drink – you’ll be back to normal in no time. I’m sure nobody’s noticed yet.
Dumb & Dumber.
Worried Mandelson summons PM’s carers.
Bronn: Nnnng! Euuurrghhh! Mandy! Mandy! I think I’m creating Nnnng another Labour policy.. Nnnnng! Hnnnnnngh! Here it comes..
60′s Song By Peter And Gordon “World Without Love”
Please Lock Me Away And Dont Allow The Day
Here Inside Where I Hide With My Loneliness
I Dont Care What They Say I Wont Stay In A World Without Love !
Mandelson given message from concerned Susan Boyle as to the PMs mental state.
Sticking my tongue out like this is the only thing that makes me stop doing that fucking weird thing with my jaw.
60′s Song By Peter And Gordon “World Without Love”
Please Lock Me Away And Dont Allow The Day
Here Inside Where I Hide With My Loneliness
I Dont Care What They Say I Wont Stay In A World Without Love !
Ronaldo ! Ronaldo ! I wonder Where That Horny Little Bitch Has Got to ?
Breaking News
BBC;ITV&Sky have now to-day written to all 3 party leaders formally asking them to take part in 3 live TV debates over the general election camaign.Each broadcaster would be responsible for one debate each with broadcasts being made available to each other and other UK broadcasters.
Will Brown now tell us his decision or is it still not “”appropriate” to do so ?
The ‘appropriate’ thing to do will be to have the BBC one first hosted by Andrew Marr. The ‘appropriate’ thing to do will be to dictate what ‘questions’ will be asked – ‘Is it true that Gordon Brown is the most brilliant chancellor and PM ever – you may answer ‘yes’ with details’.
This will be Brown’s one big chance to shine. The others will then be called off no matter what the outcome as he discovers urgent reasons to visit Afghanistan, President Omaha, COBRA meeting due to escape of F&M from government lab – whatever.
If Brown agrees to a televised debate it will be with him pulling all the strings. Dictating all the questions. Or it will not happen at all.
The only people who’ll agree to that are the BBC.
All three party Leaders?
Last time I looked there were more than 3 political parties.
I think they meant Tory, Lib dem and UKIP. No one gives a shit about labour anymore
Thinks. Peter is so gullible. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him it was someone over there who farted. Ah well what’s another lie
we need to call in Julie Kirkbride to sort out our problems.
Tough! Dave is keeping her on in Bromsgrove to sort out his – the fool!!!!
(no applications from the candidates list are being sought in order to keep the seat open for Kirkbride)
Your dirty beast, Peter, you changed hands before 99!
TYPO Your !
Whoopsie
Mandy: I hate putting my finger in c’unts.
Mandelson: He may have convinced Marr that he isn’t bonkers but he ain’t fooling no one around here.
Now Peter You Chose Gordon :
Ye Prize Is A Week In Brighton Hope Ye Av A Lorra Lorra Fun !
Ye Will Come Back An Lerrus Know How Ye Got On Wont Ye ?
I predicted this! Is Cameron mad?
STEADY Peter, the cameras are on and your ring finger is starting to show dear.
Tongue and poove
Pedigree Chumps
Mangledbum: I’d Never Seen A Cu*t Till I Met You !
I just wanna emote over something.
Life, – for me an’ the wife – is just so sweet.
But hey – trust me! I’m a straight kinda guy
I can see Gordo’s thoughts are on what he’s gonna do tonight!
At Least Living On The EU Main Land
You Wont Have Far To Travel To Your War Crimes Trial In The Hague !
Think you will find that the first Law European president Blair passes will be to make the European President immune from prosecution.
A Single “dictator” Tried To Take Over Europe Once Before And Look What happened ! This Whole EU Is The Germans And Their French Collaborators Taking Control Of Europe Without Firing A Shot !
Not really surprising as the Irish Free State was not agressive to the Third Reich during WWII.
However the Irish and the Hun are not natural bedfellows. I seem to remember reading that the leader of the German espionage group sent to Eire during WWII ended up committing suicide in frustration.
Mzzzzzz. Ha Ha Ha HoHoHo-Person says
I like helping people.
It’s what we Noo_Lie_Bore wimmin do
It’s the only thing Harm-Men has done that really increased the employability and wages of women.
Mandy and Golem do uncanny impersonation of Cameron and Osborne.
Should have gone to specsavers
GB: I gave you permission to squeeze my bollocks, but not here you chump.
PM: ***applies pressure***
I’m going to get Arnie – I’ll be back !!
Mandy . . . Gorgon . . . will you help me get Arnie . . . ???!!!
Oooooohhhhhh ducky . . we thought you’d never ask!
“I looked upon you as my right hand man – but it seems your left is better!”
Great thumping chump.
Who said that?
Brown: “I’m not the organ grinder, I’m only the monkey” (does best chimp act to prove it)
Chump act, surely?
That as well!
How much is left in the Labour Party slush fund? Channel 4 want a bung for the scheduling of the David and George show.
Mandy: I said NO tongues!
Mandelson makes sure no one is looking as he feeds Gordon his 4pm dose of the big red pills. Just in time fortunately. Although it was a bad day to pretend to be ignoring the Sun photographer.
Well that’s Chicago OUT, Jonah well and truly Jinxed Obama when they met last week.
He took the PM of Spain to Brighton this week so has he jinxed Madrid too?
Lord Mandelson of Rio has his tickets booked already…
Cheers for the link, never read that before..that explains his subseqent Brazillian bum chum then
Mandelson tries politely not to stare during PM’s latest bout of tardive dyskinesia.
Chump-Pansy 1 – Chimpanzee 0
GB Why is an arsehole like the top of a 9 volt battery.
PM ?
GB Because you know you sholdn’t but you’ll touch both with your tongue.
Mandy singing” A finger of fudge up yer bum and give yourself a treat?” .. “Hows about it Gordo?”
It’s great when you give it tongue in cheek.
“So it’s good night from me …”
Ronnie Brown “.. and it’s good night from her”
“Close your mouth Gordon, you’re showing the end of my finger”
Fuck off, Mandy — I was here first.
Mandelson: Which one of you chumps forgot to give him his last shot?
“It’s a bitter pill, Prime Minister – but if you can’t swallow it, that lot certainly aren’t going to.”
I see Obama has been snubbed by the Olympic Committee!!! Yes finally people are seeing this wanker for the tool he is, just another Gorgon Brown full of shit.
Let us hope the Irish do the same to the treaty. I am totally baffled how a nation that fought for it’s independence appears to be prepared to give it up so easily to Blair’s Eurin soaked jackboot after only 90 years.
Ashamed of myself, incorrect apostrophe. Sorry.
Why does it not occur to the Irish that the sudden downturn IS related to their NO vote last time. They were being bribed and it failed.
There will be no return of the massive injection of wealth even if they do vote YES today. The fake bubble will not return.
Subsidies – dear boy – subsidies that and the fear of the recession will deliver a “close” Yes vote for Lisbon
Will the Irish really like voting for a Brit to be their new President? How humiliating.
No probs there boyo,he`s no brit just an internationalist shit.
Just go`s to show the EU is undemocratic when that warmongering egotistical shit can now lord over the UK again.The prick has no humility whatever,his only saving grace is that he aint bono but that turdbag will no doubt get his turn at the top of this lefty insitutionalised playground.
Every third level place of eduacation is now producing gormless twats who are propagandised into believing its a vote for harmony and an anti-war vote.since when have the three lower socio economic groups declared war on their counterparts in neighbouring countries?War was always the plaything of powerful to the cost of the powerless.How many of Blairs Brats signed up to bring equality to afghanistan?
Off topic, but it made me chortle.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/matt/
Do The Irish also get to have another go if they vote YES?
Or do you only get two votes if its NO?
they will be made to vote again and again and again until they give the right answer. It’s called being a progressive – you can read about it in the guardian.
So they keep voting ‘no’ and get more subsidies while they wait for the next referendum.
Mandy – “Who’s turn is it to take Gordon to the little boys room?”
PM only gives tongue in hole.
Gottle of gear gottle of gear!
Gordon – ‘Look at me I’m a lizard’
Peter – ‘You know nothing of reptiles, elephant man’
Peter: “Keep your tongue in, Gordon.”
Gordon: “I will, the visa’s legit.”
well its between Madrid or Rio for the next Olympics. The chosen blessed one failed to bring it to Chicago
OMG the man is ……..fallible The Mental one is no doubt already on the phone consoling his Mate President Omaha.
God – I am surprised. Especially after the tear-jerking speech from Michelle.
I’m glad their presence didn’t influence the judges.
Brown had probably already booked his standby flight to Copenhagen to commiserate in person but there was a 10 mile exclusion zone around “AirForce One” whilst Obama was on the tarmac and the “yanks” wouldn’t give him clearance to take-off until Obama was safely on his way home – they’d had enough of Brown at Pittsburgh
I wonder if the one eyed mong had spoken to Barry O beforehand? The curse of Broon strikes again.
Nah he’ll just chase him through the kitchens again the next time he sees him
Rio got it. Good luck to them. Gawd knows why anybody would want a money-eating pit like the Olympics has become.
Text Text..
Hi,Its me- sury a bout th olympcs. U must b very Sad.
Do u wnt me to cum over? i can catch the next plane.
I am not doing anything now anyway.
call me
luv
GB
-XXXx
Text Text..
Hi GB
Fck ff
Luv (bt nt mch)
Eng.
The man is very fallible, Obama is Brown with autocue skills.
False smile too.
http://www.boingboing.net/2009/10/01/proof-that-president.html
http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/mystic_records/obama_poster_crybaby.gif
CNN Can’t believe it…
Delicious !
No, when I do this, you put the tongue back in
Gordon, didn’t I promise you the conference would have a happy ending
Gordon shits in Adam Boulton’s coffee while Mandy keeps watch.
Gordon and Peter practice the ‘Boulton glare’
Not a caption, but very Brown. A picture on that fine site http://www.engrish.com:
http://www.engrish.com//wp-content/uploads/2009/10/nokia-connocting-poopie.jpg
Hat tip Davidp on PB.COM
T but for those that want to be up to date on the Lisburn vote:
http://www.rte.ie/news/features/lisbontreaty/coverage.html
RTÉ.ie’s Lisbon Referendum 2009 section will provide users worldwide with up-to-the-minute coverage on results day. A live text commentary will be available throughout the day, describing the results picture as it unfolds. Full national and constituency results will also be available as they emerge, together with comparative data from the 2008 referendum.
All of RTÉ Television and RTÉ Radio’s referendum results coverage on Saturday, 3 October, will be streamed live worldwide. Selected coverage will be available on-demand.
by Davidp October 2nd, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Well Conference week was huge success, wasn’t it? I suppose you did make sure the AG actually resigned while we were here, didn’t you?
‘Gordon! I’ve told you before, I always have the red ones. (wine gums).
Gordon ! Your Face Is Like A Bulldog Chewing A Wasp !
Mandy discovers that Gordon has ingrowing toenails in an unexpected place.
It certainly wasn’t me Gordon.
Snotgobbler “This is the nicest bogey I have ever had!”
Mandlescum”I can’t look at him,I can’t look!”
O/T – 2016 Olympics to be in RIO DE JANEIRO.
Looking forward to the opening ceremony already!
Haha I strike again! Obama hesitated, I chased and managed to speak into his ear for a moment while he ran away through the kitchens…
He Could Do With Avoiding Kitchens Just Ask Bobby Kennedy ! Oh You Can’t
heh heh
Well ask Teddy,oh you can’t!
The Opening Ceremony will be stolen by the local gangs.
As for the medals – stolen,melted down and sold to Britain to replace all that gold the fraudster Brown sold all those years ago.
Still,at least 5,650 BBC executives will have a good shindig.
By then Usain Bolt will have run 100m in under 3.45 seconds and Eddie Izzzhard will have run 2,340 more marathons without a break and NO ONE will suspect a thing……
Baroness Scotland, I presume.
Look out, Dr. David Starkey has turned up and he’s going to rip you a new one Gordo.
It’s a little cloying, an aroma of vinegar but has a bitter aftertaste – is it Ed Balls’s
Mandy, “Who’s this guy on my left, he’s not with me.”
Mandelson needs one of those t-shirts that say:
” I’m with stupid –> “
“Peter – could you move your hand a little faster – I’m nearly there!”
Mandelbum and Brown were the only ones to notice the invisible man laying on the desk in front of them….
Ok Peter, but don’t get it in my eyes this time.
Loves Labours Lost by Will he Won’t he
Synopsis
At Navarre (in Spain), King Ferdinand explains to Berowne, Longaville, and Dumaine that they can stay at the court to study and contemplate for three years, but that they must: 1) never see, speak to, or be with a woman during those three years, 2) fast once per week, and 3) sleep only three hours per night, all in order to be most fit for concentrating. Berowne finds these requirements too strict and bound to be broken, but agrees to them, predicting that he will be the last to break the rules. etc etc
Scary eh? Shakespeare knew all about Berowne’s fatal flaw that he would not ‘break the rules’ !!!!!!!!
you know what Gordon……..at weekends my name’s Mandy…!
I’m the king of the castle and you’re the dirty rascal, nah nah nah nah nah!
“Nearly six hours now…I can’t hold this pose any longer. Please Mr Fawkes!”
Please hold…..
Should have got Sky+
Over to Dublin “Tell me, Brendan, has Ireland sayd ‘yes’ to the the Lisbon Treaty?”
“Well, we have and we haven’t, as you might say.”
“And if it’s the truth you’re telling me, Brendan, then you’re right and it’s no word of a lie.”
Jesus Christ Gordon, that pen and inks.
dead cat bounce underway?
House prices: rise ‘unsustainable’
A leading firm of economists have said that the five consecutive months of house price rises reported by the Nationwide Building Society are unsustainable. Nationwide Building Society said that house prices rose by 0.9pc in September and are back to levels seen 12 months ago. But property experts warn that the recovery may prove to be short-lived.
Seema Shah, economist from Capital Economics, said that the upturn will not continue for much longer and that falls in house values will be inevitable.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/personalfinance/6254000/House-prices-rise-unsustainable.html
This baby’s going down!!
Look waht happened last time…
Exactly the same thing
http://markwadsworth.blogspot.com/2009/09/quarterly-house-price-changes-then-and.html
I can roll it round and hit Andrew Marr from here
Mandy is thinking “for fucks sake you can’t take the gurning chump anywhere”
Yes you can, take him to the Tory Confernce next week no one would notice.You will never meet so many chumps swinging from the lights dreaming of all the money there going to flich from the hard working British People.
No, I think you will find that was this week at Brighton
” If we have an erection, I’m sure I’ll cum first”
O/T, but if the Irish vote Yes in the referendum, shouldn’t they have another go for best of three? One-all isn’t conclusive.
Ha ha ha.
There is only ever another referendum given when the “wrong” answer comes from the original vote.
That vote is then binding, unless it’s the “wrong” result again, in which case rinse and repeat.
This must continue ad infinitum until the “right” answer results.
Pinkie Brown in ‘Brighton Cock’
#Cheers#
Oh no! he’s shit himself again
I knew I would have to lick arse when I brought him back into Government but, I didn’t think it would taste this bad.
pollycrackers piece in video form. Just bypass all the pollytwaddle and go to 1m40secs in and watch the mentalist gurn while singing.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/video/2007/sep/27/labour2007
497 He’s not only gurning, his movements (I almost said ‘motions’) suggest a complete absence of sense of rhythm; I’ll guess his singing is also of the ‘growler’ variety ‘growl-growl-growl-growl-growl-growl-growl.:phew, that’s over! Didn’t I do well! Don’t know why those musicians make such a fuss about it: it’s easy, easy!’
The words will have been difficult for him, too: ‘And did those feet in ancient time, walk upon England’s mountains green…’ England.
Does he believe that the Infant Son of God came with Joseph of Arimathaea to Glastonbury? Does he believe that the Glastonbury Thorn is from The Crown of Thorns? Does he believe that Jesus of Nazareth is The Son of God, The Messiah, The Christ? Is he a British Israelite?['And did the Countenance Divine/Shine forth among those clouded hills...'] Or is he like so many of his fellows who memorably – and smirkingly – took their Oaths of Allegiance with fingers crossed, someone whose words are one thing, but whose actions are quite another: a liar, a dissembler, an equivocator, a slippery customer, a Jesuit?
It is quite possible that the ‘Wet Fist’ is in fact a complete ‘chump’ and doesn’t actually believe in anything.
But I don’t think the Jesuits can be bought down to this level, rather they believed, to the exclusion of all doubt, which put them in another category of chumps.
Fishermans Friend? My arse!
O/T Olympics Go To Rio ! Every body Will Be Safe, As long As The Police Murder All The Street Urchins Before The Fans Arrive !
Mandelson, “Where’s Ed Balls?”
The highest turnout in a constituency area so far in the Irish referendum is 23%. The remainder of turnout is reported as low as 10%
FFS so if Ireland says yes it will be on a minority vote because of which Bliar becomes president with slotty and no way back for us from the EU steamroller and a huge federalist state.
Situation normal I should suppose but it really is enough to make you weep.
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2009/1002/breaking1.htm
PB groupthink seems to reckon that a high turnout in Dublin but low elsewhere, as suggested by this article, would sit favourably with the “No” camp.
We can but dream, come on Ireland, same as last time please!
NO MEANS NO
That’s right guido keep yer head down and the NWO will find a place for you.
I’ve got more faith in Guido: I realise that with the worlds most favourite political blog by miles – that he could sell out his soul for a million to propaganderise the EU but he wouldn’t. Would he.
Those figures were for lunchtime. Most folks will vote on the way to the pub tonight.
But I still think ‘Yes’ will shade it.
As I said to the tart with the huge boobs – NO means NO!
But okay,just this once….
“I think your mouth is having a prolapse, I had that the other end you know”
Oh, Right!
I wondered what all that was about.
http://conservative-vision.blogspot.com/
‘Gordon I can’t find your Balls’
And ye willnae, Mandelson.
Ah dinnae trust ye.
Ma balls are safely hidden awah, where the likes of ye cannae find them
‘Mandy you’re looking in the wrong place. Ed & Yvette are over there’
Mandy, says “looks like the Torys have left the door open”Brown thinks, “they,v no need to,I’m all raedy a tory”
And I got a yes vote or you lot wouldn’t be on here
Come to think of it …..what if Adam was gay?
He wasn’t. We wouldn’t be here if he was.
Unless on the eigth day God invented the turkey-baster.
Mandy: You said you would swallow.
” But I didn’t say when. You know I can’t make my mind up”
One of the two biggest lies in the world, the other one…..? The cheque’s in the post.
Ah I see what you meant when you said we’d better make a good fist of it
This gives a whole new meaning to, “The organ grinder and his monkey.”
At least they earned their money honestly!
“I don’t want people laughing at my country because a bunch of schoolboys have taken over the government. The Tories are not a government-in-waiting. They are a national embarrassment.”
David Milliband
Bwahhahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaaha!!!!!!!!!!! Bwahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahhahhahahahahhaha
I laughed till I cried.
Oh Dear poor Dave Militwit – he really does belong in the nursery doesn’t he?!
Look how he offended the Indian Government with his crass remarks in the wake of the Mumbai terrorist attack.
He’s a naive schoolboy in a world of adults. But then that’s true of much of gordon’s ‘government’
I haven’t read through 527 posts, so forgive me if I’m repeating a post:
Mandy: “I take that little chipolata that Gordo has and I insert in slowly into my mouth…………………………………..”
Gorgon: “I throw the printer onto the floor, rip down Mandy’s kecks, drape him over the desk and give him a real good rimming………………………….”
Yes,that WAS dreamed up by another sicko about 200 hundred posts earlier – still – good to know you have a twin!
Do you really think it is likely that someone else has come up with that? Very sensible of you to stay anonymous.
The fact that you doubt that anyone else would come up with it shows that “Birdbraine” is a fitting name for you.
The Bunch of Chumps
I’m feeling a little kweer.
Who are you calling a chump?
Is that an acorn in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?
These two pieces of dog excrement have a job at the moment – I don’t.
Mext May these two fraudulent pieces of dog excrement that are hated throughout this great country will be finished,no more,dried up pieces of crap to be remembered only for how they tried to ruin Great Britain.
I hope they hang from a lampost like Mussolini.
And I shall have a job.
Yes, but it won’t be a patch on their pensions. You will have to work for the rest of your life, they wont.
We will have to be lucky all of the time.
And when you get your job you’ll be paying for their jobs and their pensions.
Sorry to have to tell you this but I rather fancy that mandy is going to end up as the right hand man to the new President of the EUSSR and gordon is going to end up as the new Chancellor of the Exchequer of the World for the G20.
I’m old enough to have learned that there is , more often than not, no justice in this world.
Well at least that’s Europe and the World stuffed as well.
It’s only fair to share our misfortune.
544 AISHAJ – Been there, and know what utter Hell it is – to be suddenly, among other things – invisible!
I was offered two jobs, within a day of each, after 12 months: I hope your offers come sooner. ‘We think you’re over-qualified…’ ‘No, pal: I’m desperate!’ How difficult to show determination, not desperation; to take rejection after rejection – or just no reply or acknowledgement at all – without letting it show.
Pick up any useful hints and tips you can from what meagre fare is on offer through the JobCentre: some ‘courses’ are good, some useless. JobCentre staff were (probably still are?) cosy little jobsworths, but sometimes they will reluctantly point you towards a really helpful source of information/help. Rattle the cage of your Local Councillor/MP. But mainly, keep on plugging away at sending out applications and C.V.s: positive, but honest. If they turn you down, say to yourself, ‘You ^¬*%# don’t know what you have just deprived yourselves of!’ (Strictly yourself: you won’t be ‘called back’ if you’ve told them where and how far they can stick their *=+~^ job).
All good wishes in the World.
Not get revenge Gordon. I’m off to Revenge – its only up the road.
Your fiscal stimulus is in my hands.
I see Sky/BBC/ITV have joined forces to persuade gordon to agree to not one but three!! public debates between the three leaders. Oh dear gordon! This problem’s getting worse by every day that you dither.
I think gordon, in that photo, is havng an ‘eeny meeny myny mo’ moment – shall I shan’t I?
Whilst mandy is saying “Yes you will do this!!” as you do to a recalcitrant child.
That’s a quite believable and wonderful notion. Gordon Brown, indecisive as usual, going ‘eeny meeny…..’ to decide whether, say, to appoint Blinky or Eyebrows as Chancellor. Of course PC dictates that he replace the ‘n’ word. Probable favourite at the moment would be ‘banker’
For Brown that would represent quite a powerful analytical tool, increasing his chances of getting a correct decision to 50%. No wonder he looks pleased with himself.No one else is ever going to.
I think next week will be a make or break week for Our Dave, if he backs off giving us a referendum using any excuse then any debates between the Lib/Labs/Con, will be a waste of space watching and Dave in the polls will drop like a stone,hey ho,I think the telegraph is already saying he won’t,but I want to hear it from his mouth first.
No Nell Iam not a Liebour troll,I will say I want a referendum now,even if Ireland are bullied into saying yes,tomorrow.
lolol I want a referendum too – if only to say I don’t want the lisbon treaty or a president of the EUSSR. I want the opportunity to express my view.
I accept that dave might have limited choices in respect of the EU because of Labour’s perfidy by the time he enters no.10 – but he needs to give the British Public the chance to say that they want the influence of the EU curtailed.
Well done, Nell. I’m relieved-I thought you were one of ‘them’. Thanks.
“And then the doc said I’d only feel a little prick.”
Rather than being a Big One !
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the campest of them all?
by the by – love the new numbering!
Must be by Laura Ashley.
It ought not to be allowed !
Now that’s an idea! Perhaps we could ask Guido for some fancy flowered wallpapering in the background?
By Osborne and Little? I’d like that.
+++smile+++ Good one!
Wasn’t there a nice expensive one for his Lordship Derry Irvine, by the bod who did the interior of the House of Troughers.
I suppose it would be a bit over the top for us citizens. We wouldn’t be able to appreciate it.
I used 4 rolls of ‘Pugin’ wallpaper in my loo. Royal blue with gold pineapples, and it was worth it!
That’s the one. Pugin !
Should go nicely with the new plants and planting. These are the only simple pleasures we will be allowed in future.
Once we’re ‘Back in the EUSSR boys, you don’t know how lucky you are boys, back in EUSSR’
John Lennon knew even then.
Allo Guido, the ‘House and Garden’ crew have arrived to give your blog some street cred, yo.
+++laugh+++
Think we could persuade him to add a few plants?
Seems as if the interior design consultants are trying to feminise this blog. Fair enough girls – you deserve your space, but can us lads have a corner for ourselves? Sort of shed in the corner somewhere? Or a couple of pictures of steam engines or racing cars or something? And a cupboard with bottles of real ale in?
‘Gordon!…. Do take that gob stop out of your mouth.!…….If you want one later I’ll give you one of mine!
Mandy: Fancy a marmite sandwich later?
Gordon: Your arse or mine?
‘Oooooh hellooooo,…….. my name’s Gordon’, …….’And my name’s Mandy!’
Ooh, you are awful !
No really, you are fucking awful.
‘Hello, honky-tonks!’
Mandy: Can anyone see my thumb?
Yes I can, it’s right in front of me.
When the outside temperature rises
And the meaning is oh so clear
One thousand and one yellow daffodils
Begin to dance in front of you – oh dear
Are they trying to tell you something?
You’re missing that one final screw
You’re simply not in the pink my dear
To be honest you haven’t got a clue
I’m going slightly mad
I’m going slightly mad
It finally happened – happened
It finally happened – ooh oh
It finally happened – I’m slightly mad
Oh dear!
I’m one card short of a full deck
I’m not quite the shilling
One wave short of a shipwreck
I’m not at my usual top billing
I’m coming down with a fever
I’m really out to sea
This kettle is boiling over
I think I’m a banana tree
Oh dear, I’m going slightly mad
I’m going slightly mad
It finally happened, happened
It finally happened uh huh
It finally happened I’m slightly mad – oh dear!
I’m knitting with only one needle
Unravelling fast its true
I’m driving only three wheels these days
But my dear how about you?
I’m going slightly mad
I’m going slightly mad
It finally happened
It finally happened oh yes
It finally happened
I’m slightly mad!
Just very slightly mad!
And there you have it!
One Queen about another!!
Gordon you look like a chimp.
Fuck off you сunt.
I think you meant Chump, Sir !
That creep Burnham rambling on about the constitution on radio 4 ?time with Eddie Mear.
Can you still bet on the lisbon treaty in Ireland results??
fancy putting some money on ”NO” tommorow before the results come in.
I’ve heard a lot of Irish people say that they’re going to vote yes as they couldn’t bear to be asked a third time.
lol
Dere’s a lot of trut’ in that, so there is.
Wish I could write in an Irish accent.
Not everyone can do it, begorrah !
Dat’s why we have educashun !
See what DONAL BLANEY’S been up to yet again. Serial blogger, more of his rubbish!! Well worth a look.
http://ddtaylor88.wordpress.com/2009/10/02/bonkers-blaney-at-it-again/
Is that Brown’s tongue or the end or Mandys chopper?
I don’t know, but they both spout a load of bollocks.
It’s toenails’ fingernails.
Love your new enlarged numbers Guido. Been at the Farrow and Ball colour chart? Such a tasteful grey!
I am not a number I am a free man (or woman) Ha!
666 come in your time is nearly at hand.
So the curse of Jonah goes on.
President Obama reluctantly agreed to talk to Gordon last week and the Spannish PM agreed to praise Gordon at Brighton this week.
Result America and SPAIN HAVE LOST THE OLYMPICS.
Cursed or what?
Serve the Chumps right. Didn’t they know ‘When supping with the Devil …..’
Obviously their spoons weren’t long enough.
Should have gone to Mr. Inventor.
http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=43960
Gordon relaxing.
Gordon, “This 12 inch dildo up my arse feels great.”
Mandy, “I can’t even feel this 12″ dildo up my arse. I think I’ll call round to the local children’s home and get some young boys to fist me up the arse before I slit their throats and bury them in the cellar under concrete.”
So is this what you meant when you said I should show some more spunk?
Andy Burnham’s a total PRAT! He’s really ‘shocked’ that Andrew Marr asked the PM the dreaded pill question.
Burnham – “There are circumstances when asking such questions might be acceptable.”
Call me an old cynic if you will, but I think he meant it’s OK if it’s a Conservative, but not if it’s Labour.
They can’t get over the shock that the MSM are asking them real questions for a fucking change. I’ve never been a regular reader of The Sun, but I’ve bought the last 3 copies to see how they will be playing the game. It looks like Labour are gonna get a relentless bashing for the next 7 months or so, the likes of which they haven’t experienced since Kinnochio was given a good kicking.
They’re still in a state of denial it seems.
After the last 12 years – economy, wars, education, you name it – they thouroughly deserve all the kicking they will get.
They don’t like the steel up ‘em, do they?
‘He’s just concentrating on getting on with the Job…’
Sarah disappointed again tonight then.
Not really.
“…98, 99, 100…change hands!”
I love this one, I’m convinced this is what Brown says to himself when he does that compulsive:
stroke rostrum 98, 99, 100…praying hands 98, 99, 100…fold thumbs 98,99,100…clench fingers 98, 99, 100…make eye holes 98, 99,100…at precisely 90 degree angles 98, 99, 100…release 98, 99, 100…shuffle papers 98, 99, 100…stroke rostrum 98, 99, 100…praying hands 98, 99, 100…fold thunbs 98, 99, 100…
Mandy, pah, Pandy. Brown, pah, clown . Brown’s also an apt colour methinks
for the situation he and New Labour find themselves in. And the rest of us.
Can’t wait til Cammers sorts this spiffing mess out. We all know the problem .
Leftism. It’s everywhere. Everywhere you look. It’s red, it’s pink it’s bonkers,
it wants to give soup to those vulgar homeless atrocities and it’s getting on
my wick. My neighbour even left his house wearing a red shirt yesterday. He
said it was for a foot-ball match but I know his game. Blimmin commie. Like
that commie State broadcaster the Beeb. Did you hear that commie on telly
last night who runs their political coverage. Andrew Neil. He’s a commie if ever
I’ve seen one. Sure of it.
Anyhow, us Tory boys will stick it to em ay. Sooner we get that banking sector
deregulated and put all our eggs in the enterprising hands of those clever
bankers and free from banker hating Trotsky control we’re sure to be on to a
winner.
Murdoch’s backing us too. Sure to be a good sign. He’s never been wrong
about anything before you know, ever. And he wouldn’t be seen dead
backing those Trotsky raving loony commies in the Leftism Party. Grrrrrr.
Leftism. Grrrr. Boo.
Hiss. And Boo again.
Why don’t you have a lie down and empty that full bottle of pills you’ve been saving for a rainy day?
You know it makes sense.
Glad you woke up to sense old boy, even though it’s a parody at least the seeds have been planted in your head.
No need to save for a rainy day old chap. I have my own Private Doctor. Said
he once worked for a man by the name of Wacko jacko. Comes highly
reccomended. Bottles of pills all over the spiffing shop. Always blue ones, of
course. Have more of a kick to them you know. If Cammers fed hese blighters
to the proles they’d be too stewed to do any of that ‘dancing on the street’ stuff
that got rid of great, sensible ideas like the poll tax. How did they see through
that one? Blighters.
To ask each citizen to make a fair contribution to society…..yeah what a wacky idea that was.
Yeah ! When are they gonna do that.
Wacky? Don’t be ridiculous man My cleaner was constantly grumbling
about having to pay the same poll tax for her crumbling shed as my
castle. Totally reasonable I say.
I don’t give to the government, I only take, the cheeky fucks.
Absolutely true Sir.
Leftism is a sickness, otherwise why would anyone support it.
Trouble is, it’s taken hold badly this time. Most of the world affected to some degree. Obviously coming from the Cosmos.
I’m off to Mr. Magician, maybe he’s got an answer.
Ought not to be allowed !
I think it’s infecting me ahhhhhhh noes.
Don’t give up the day job, 619. That sub-Ben Elton shit won’t get many takers outside the labour party these days.
I don’t have a day job mongrel. I’ve inherited 20million, a castle and a
lifetime of worthiness. How else could I afford the time to roam the intersphere
preaching the gospel of sterile, identikit, soul-eroding town centres, Private
Sector State domination, bankers and lukewarm Starbucks whilst reigning
supreme in my righteous indignation against the lazy scroungers that now
infest this once great Isle. Lazy Bastards.
Yeah, 5 million at the last count.
BTW, thanks for all your lovely jobs
Peter and Gordon sing……
“Please lock us away
And don’t allow the day
Here inside where we hide
With our loneliness
We don’t care what they say
We won’t stay
In a world without love.”
Nice one RB, although you are showing your age.
Please Refrain From Copying Other Peoples Posts As It Might Tempt The Labour
Party Into Copying Other Parties Policys Thank You !
NOW SEE POSTS NO345 Posted at3.47 pm And No347 posted at 3.51
I Thank You !
Why would they do such a thing man, they’re commies, aren’t they? New
Labour and the Tories are stratospheres apart ideologically, why would
commies be interested in Tory policy? Surely Guido wasn’t exaggerating when
he called New Lab socialists? Say it isn’t so. newLab interested in policies from
the bastions of Neo-Conservatism. Pah!!! That’ll be the day. Good one. Almost
had me going for a minute there. Trotsky scum!!!!!
Mandy: “I told you to put your tongue in your cheek when telling a lie, not poke it out to the audience.
Bad boy, dirty boy, go to your bed.”
Guido, you bastard, why have you subordinated the Farage/Spaniard euro debate video clip so it can only be accessed via pressing the comments button on the Friday Caption Competition – have the sods got at you too?
Yes, and why has the Irish vote been given the silent treatment? Something suspicious there.
Guido always keeps his comments regarding issues of Ireland and Europe after the event for some reason. Perhaps he’s got some money riding on it.
In the pink.
[Mandy] What do you mean you can see my finger sticking out ?
I cant get the taste of your cum out of my mouth! Peter
Best mates
Mandys beloved new labour hits rock bottom.
PM. I Fckin hate nasty foreskins! just hurry up the fck up will you.
GB. gugurrgh grughhh grughhhii, goo, squij…squij..half-squij..trickle.
After the shock news from the Sun this week Mandy gives a final check to make sure it really has stopped shining from the place new labour have been telling the voters it has for the last 12 years.
“OK Peter this is the situation. I’ve got half a bratwurst lodged in my gullet. If I ask you to do the Heimlich manoeuvre again do you promise to keep your trousers on this time?”
“Is that you down there, Sarah?”
“No, it’s me, Harriet – and now I’m going to make you pay for making Peter Deputy Prime Minister……”
M’scum can’t decide whether to wash his hand, or save it for the Brazillian to lick later.
Brass monkeys.
Excuse me, Just what is that coming out of his mouth?
Mandy: “You gurn if you want to, the lad is not for gurning”
Mandy: Mmm, something’s missing…
Winky: Yes, I”m sucking on one of your testicles
“Kirsty, just make sure you buy Duracell batteries next time.”
Peter “Who did that one…god it smells vile?”
As Harriet worked the Hall at Conference, she made different impressions on those on the platform.
“In a moment rich in irony, the leader of the party that had introduced the concept of homosexual marriage, is snagged by the “loose ring” of a boy-bride”
{Surveying a largely empty hall}
Gordon: Did you publish the time I was giving my speech Mandy?
Mandy: No, but I think it must have leaked out somehow
Faster Peter, faster, faster.
I’ll slide your happy-pills under the table when they’re not looking.
“I really wish Balls would show some decorum in public!” (Thinks…it wasn’t Balls te he)
Mandy “I’ve just fucked a Brazilian”
Moron “I’ve just fucked everybody in the UK”
1/Mandy will do anything to get a surge in Gordon’s Poll
or
2/Mandy “and I thought you had left leanings”
Barry Manilow to play in the background..
Well you came and you gave without taking
but I sent you away, oh Mandy
well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you today, oh Mandy