September 27th, 2009

The Magical Disappearing Tongan Passport

Guido is off for a picnic and possibly a post-picnic snooze. When Guido gets back he’ll be blogging information which will give the Baroness a sleepless night…


489 Comments

  1. 1
    going mental says:

    quality fawkes , have a good un , will be waiting with larger

    • 5
      Anonymous says:

      Lager.

      • 7
        going mental says:

        Thanks that twice in a day

      • 119
      • 126
        abbott and postello says:

        Are you calling McSnide an old woman?

      • 225
        charlie says:

        misogyny you twat

      • 246
        Grim Reamer says:

        He was talking about his knob, its scandals like this that give him wood.

        • 264
          Brownbadger says:

          Forget the passport………that’s not the most important part of this story. Don’t understand how anybody can work for a minister, have access to the minister’s home, and presumably free access to all therein without having a security check first. it just doesn’t sound like the way a normal paranoid socialist government works.

          I mean, mix a little chemical cleaner with a little bag of sugar and……..

          • Not at home says:

            I tried to raise this a few days ago, Mainstream media not interested.

            Odd that …

          • Get Smart says:

            O course its a joke they tell us we all need to have ID yet this happens to a government minister where check available were not made.
            Was the cleaner a special friend?

          • Lord Muck says:

            Spot on. When an MP buys his second home his immediate neighbours are all vetted by Special Branch (at least that’s who it was 15 years ago).

            MSM not seeming to take anything about this too seriously, apart from the Mail.

          • Lord Muck. Do the msm really care any more, or ever? They like their bread buttered to their liking. Ask no questions, get told no lies. Fuck them all.

            Dead tree press etc.

        • 308
          Sir Mufbourne-Harbor says:

          Yeah point taken; anyone subversive could easily mix bleach, salt and vinegar to make chlorine and assasinate the DG’s dog or summit?

      • 268
        Anony says:

        Fuck you asshole.

      • 271
        Jim Beam says:

        Guido is not bullying her because she is a woman , he is pursuing her because she is a thief. feminists cannot have it both ways.You cannot demand equality and then ask for your special needs as a woman to be taken into account when you get caught lying and stealing from the taxpayer.

        • 292
          Fuck 'em All says:

          Aren’t most Labour supporters and come to that MPs, Ministers and the PM itself ‘special needs’?

        • 376
          Anonymous says:

          Too true – along with the Tory section of the underworld, led by Ashcroft, Osborne, Aitken et al. Shame Guido seems partial when it comes to exposing wrongdoing – other than that, keep going.

        • 416
          Fuck 'em All says:

          I agree, the Tories are as bad. There needs to be a fundamental kick up the fundamentals for all in parliament. They all need to be voted out.

      • 381
        bulldog says:

        I agree Peter Hain is a bit of a woman.

    • 22
      gordo the Pill pusher says:

      “Give the Baroness a sleepless night…?”

      All she has to do is knock on Gordon’s door and ask him for some of his extra strength mind pills.

  2. 2
    Plato says:

    Excellent Mr Fawkes.

    • 24

      Counsel for the defence.

      M’lord if this is to refer to the The Magic Passport story, which some in the media claim s an even more serious problem than the employment of an illegal, in that it demonstrates the baroness was lying to cover up her mistakes, then I will provide answers.

      As I understand Mr Fawkes alleges that an illegal immigrant, owning a passport with a perfectly good visa stamp, would never throw it away. Throw it away but then keep a different passport which has an expired Visa stamp and is of little use.

      M’Lord it is perfectly simple. Many of the remaining public houses, are forced by the smoking ban and excessive alcohol taxes , to find alternative methods of making money. A main way is the supply of immigration stamps, passports and driving licences to illegal immigrants.
      I surmise that Ms Tonga had discarded her old visa stamped passport on the way to obtain a brand new, high security clearance one, and a brand new citizens I.D. card from ‘Eddie the Forger’ at the Red Lion in Walthamstow high street when she was taken in for questioning.

      Defence rests {a little shakily}
      Bill Quango QC

      • 52
        Irma Chancer says:

        me Lord it stikes me as rather pertinent; the fact of the matter is Scotland was in desparate need for some cleaning and cooking to be done without haste. Her girlservant sought thrrough the pages of a local type loot medium and did telephone the witness and arranged for an interview saame afternoon that day. The witness was put to work hensforth immediately. I submit that the state of the need was so urgent that there was no time for proper considerations of paperwork and photocopying and in anycase it would seem that any copier was covered in soot.

      • 177

        All this crap about not having access to a photocopier – every DOMESTIC SCANNER is a photocopier or even the camera on your phone. The Scotland woman was probably shown a pile of Documents and even a passport and instinctly looked at the picture then closed it again.Just too posh to duplicate or copy. Remember the Queen of Tonga is now in the hands of max clifford who claimed at onetime to be the Beatles PR (not)

    • 35
      Charriet Race Bin HER soon says:

      Oh you sleasy tease Mr Fawkes. But who can deny that the tail of the Tonga looking for Wonga is not straight out of Malice in Slumberland with an evil Baroness standing in front of a mirror saying, ‘who is the most beautiful in the land of Labour lies, corruption and stench?’

      Time perhaps for Macavity to do a disappearing act: more pills! more pills!

  3. 3
    Dr K says:

    Just make sure you are not alone.

    • 205
      Lilith says:

      Yes, don’t carry any co-codimol or a pocket knife and whatever you do don’t fall asleep under a tree….

  4. 4
    Oh Guido . . . !! says:

    We’ve warned you before . . . NO picnics !! . . no wandering in woods with a blunt penknife . . . no . . . oh what’s the use !

    • 54
      Ivor Schwartzporsche says:

      Remember to check the tide times if picnicing on da beitch

      • 383
        Anonymous says:

        Is that “picnicking on the beach” or “picnicking on the bitch”? Since I am told the latter is an odd tradition of the Bullingdon it could be a bit worrying for old Guido.

    • 227
      Peter Grimes says:

      S’alright the Fenian get would only bleed Guinness if he was cut!

  5. 6
    Gorgon Brown: "I'm healthy and I will not roll over . . " says:

    I prefer to bend forward over a chair

    Is that OK ?

  6. 8
    KMcC says:

    you can’t leave us dangling like this

  7. 9

    Oh, yes, indeed! Hope the weather’s good. We had a barbecue yesterday, as the weather was so warm and sunny. Have a good picnic.

    The Max Clifford stories have started to come out. Apparently Max has been known to tell people: “Yes, I know you don’t want this story public. Buy you’d best put your side first.” Baroness Scotland is already worried. With your revelations she will become greatly concerned, I hope!

    Incidentally speaking of Scotland, if you fly to Scotland from England, you will need your passport. What HAS happened to Britain? Oh, yes! Gordon Brown has happened to Britain.

    The Weekender. English travellers need passports to visit Scotland, Brown attacks Darling, Scotland under more pressure, Labour sells your data and will Mandelson take out Brown?

    • 25
      Homeland security says:

      No 9 That’s now’t if you travel from Southampton to the IoW they’ll demand photo ID…….I kid you not

      • 31

        Yes. And the Channel Isles, too, I seem to remember hearing.

        Crazy thing is, they d onot ask for your passport to visit Scotland if you drive or take the train. So, where’s the logic?

        Oh! Sorry! The Brown government doesn’t DO logic!

      • 247
        Agent 99 says:

        Whenever a flight is taken photo ID is required and normally this is a passport to be shown in or outside the UK. The passport is shown on departure at the desk for boarding cards. Fair enough no worries about that.

        What I understand was different on this occasion was the passport had to be shown on ARRIVAL IN SCOTLAND AFTER THE FLIGHT. I have been flying internally to Scotland for 30 years and that has never happened once. Amazing it should happen right at the fag end of a corrupt labour government. Or perhaps not given the control these socialists want over everything you do its not so amazing.

        • 351
          Anonymous says:

          I flew the other way recently from Glasgow and had to show my passport and be photographed on arrival at Gatwick. It applies both ways.

      • 250
        Wight Tory says:

        No they don’t….

      • 387
        Anonymous says:

        It would be better if it were the other way round.

    • 36
      probably a Ryanair affair says:

      I was asked to produce a passport when flying Ryanair from Stansted to Newquay.
      Anyway how do they know who is English if we have Europasspassports ?
      The SNP government aren’t allowed to get involved with border control as it’s a UK Government responsibility ( like Defence etc) but they will get the blame anyway.

      • 49
        thick as thieves says:

        so foreigners are allowed to roam freely throughout europe but papers are demanded by the authorities from English men and women travelling through Britain.
        what madness is this?
        what benefit is it to us for these double standards and these restrictions?
        none at all.
        we subsidise these countries and yet they cock a snoot at us: we lose our rights, money and respect by being the bitch of the corrupt EU.
        ’tis time to leave the EU. without us to scrounge from it will wither on the vine.
        excellent.

      • 220
        Anonymous says:

        We should just demand all Scots living, working and fucking English women need to show a passport and pay a Tax for staying here in gods country. Pity we cannot arrange for the wind to blow straight up to the Artic as we could ask that nice man Mr dinnerjacket to nuke you fookers up there. We must iradicate the Ginger gene

      • 334

        Well you know what you have to do.
        Your leader, the SNP one, has added independence to the list of priorities for the next parliament.
        Tories in Westminster – Labour on the run – he knows he will never have a better chance.
        Unlikely to pass though isn’t it?
        Still, at least you got to vote. We haven’t heard much about Lisbon since our fellow flew over late and singed a document in a dark cupboard under the stairs when no one was looking.

    • 323

      I take your point sir, but honestly, tell me who the fuck would want to fly to Scotland??

  8. 10
    Fees Office Clerk says:

    What could possibly give Baroness Scotland a sleepless night…a dodgy Prawn Cocktail maybe – that was ill-advisably polished off at a Labour Conference Bash perhaps. I do hope so!

  9. 11
    Man With a Very Hot Bladder says:

    Oh you are a tease!

  10. 12
    abbott and postello says:

    “……which will give the Baroness a sleepless night…”

    And hopefully something that will make McDoom twitch a bit more during the party confrence.

  11. 13

    What? ‘Greatly concerned’?! I should have said: shit scared, of course!

  12. 15
    Big Massive Wood says:

    A spell in Guantanamo would give her a few sleepless nights.

  13. 17
    Big Massive Wood says:

    If she’s staying at the Grand in Brighton, no need for anything else, the gay hookers in the next room will prevent any shuteye.

    • 18
      going mental says:

      Wheres the fucking Ira when you need em

      • 27
        cogitodexter says:

        Now THAT is taking things too far.

        My MP at the time was one of those killed by the Brighton Bomb. I wouldn’t wish that sort of thing on anyone.

        And then there’s the sympathy bump it would cause in the polls…

      • 48
        Sukyspook says:

        Speaking of terrsts – even M Atta was carrying his passport when he allegedly flew one of those jets on 911.

        Said passport fluttered down from the WTC fully up to date and intact….unlike him…

        • 58
          Ivor Schwartzporsche says:

          A passport lasts for ten years. Innit.

          • Boarder Agency Staff Are Fucktards (and I should know) says:

            Depends how long is left to run on it when you buy it from the bloke down the pub.

          • Passing woman from Tonga in a Pub says:

            Well he said it was at least 5 years maybe more? Good work visa as well thrown in for 6 quid. Thats an hours wages the theiving twat

        • 59
          Seasick Dave says:

          Very convenient, dontcha think?

          Who is to say that the aforementioned M Atta even existed?

        • 297
          Cassandra King says:

          How convenient is that eh? A crash and fire proof passport that just happens to survive a high speed collision and a two thousand degree fire and a million odd tons of concrete crashing down on it, is this the new style passport we are getting?

      • 64
        Jan says:

        The old IRA now in power with the Scots loadmouth Presbyterians (who all seem to have four jobs) are busy ruining the education system and the economy in the north.The dissident IRA are travelling round towns in the south threatening the local drug dealers with death.You see,they want to clean up the south.Not as in getting rid of the drugs but actually getting their hands on the ‘corners’. A bit like the ‘Green,White and Gold’ Wire.

  14. 20
    Anonymous says:

    I shall be waiting with baited breath.

  15. 21
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    She’s
    a) GREEDY, paying her skivvy just 23p above the minimum wage.
    b) A LIAR, she never even looked at the passport.

    The two are linked.Typical NuLiebor greed. Bliar facilitated it all.

    Not a fit person to be the country’s “leading” law officer.

    Sock it to her Guido!

    • 39

      That’s true! She could have afforded to pay more. And it is for people like Baroness Scotland to pay more to set a good example.

    • 81
      udderly 'orrible says:

      She’s a marxist-socialist purist then.

      • 162
        Biffo says:

        Don’t you mean a marxist-socialist trougher? What with paying the girl such crap wages while ripping off the taxpayer to the tune of £170,000 (which is now perfectly legal of course – after a quick rule change). I almost called her a marxist-socialist whore but then realised that whores usually:
        1. know their job
        2. work for their money
        3. provide a useful service
        Baroness Scotland does none of these.

    • 320
      Lord Muck says:

      It’s a typical bit of socialist shitlaw. In reality, it becomes the MAXimum wage. BS pays Tonga Tonga the minimum wage thereabouts because she knows it’s utterly defensible, even though its a nice touch of hypocrisy for a multi millionaire socialist tp pay her lil coloured girl cleaner a pittance to look after the 2 million pound mansion that we are helping pay for.

  16. 23
    lintoff says:

    Guido, you are a tease!

  17. 26

    The bitch deserves to hang pour encourager les autres.

  18. 28
    Dack Blog says:

    Well I’m going to wander along the seafront to see what’s occurin’. That’s if I can penetrate Operation Otter’s ‘ring of steel’.

  19. 29
    Alan Douglas says:

    Longest breakfast in history ….

    Alan Douglas

  20. 30
    Homeland security says:

    No 9 That’s now’t if you travel from Southampton to the IoW they’ll demand photo ID…….I kid you not………If they haven’t already that’s their intention……… also if you have an unpaid parking fine, council tax etc they plan to stop you leaving the country even on holiday!

    Welcome to the Soviet Republic of Noo Labour

    • 42

      also if you have an unpaid parking fine, council tax etc they plan to stop you leaving the country even on holiday!

      WTF??? Really? Hell! It’s like a prison island!

      • 261
        Agent 99 says:

        Sorry but this is required under the ISPS code and international agreement

        Google it if you don’t know.

        • 316
          Brussels Prats says:

          Thank god for our European overlords. If it wasn’t for the tossers we’d be fucked..?

          Brussels

      • 471
        Max says:

        Also if you fail to pay your ex-missus her maintenance.

      • 472
        Max says:

        A prison island it surely is but without the huge white balloons that chase you down the beach. What number are you by the way?

        • 473
          Max says:

          Actually I’ve not been to the beach lately so I’m not sure about the balloons. I think I’m number six.

        • 485
          Axe The Telly Tax says:

          It’s gettting like “Escape from New York” by John Carpenter. Better get out before they build a wall around Gulag Island

  21. 34
    Troughy says:

    Pssst………Bling. The punka wallah did it!

  22. 37
    pissed off voter says:

    go on Guido, lay her bare. hmm. well perhaps not. just screw her. no, that’s not what I meant either. fcuk her good, nope, guess you had it right all along – just get her in the cross-hairs and gently squeeze the trigger.

  23. 38
    Premier Gordon Brown says:

    He’s just arrived at the picnic site. Move in when I give the signal and plant the fake passport in the picnic basket.

  24. 40
    Angry UK says:

    She should move to Tongo as Her Magesty’s PERMANENT Ambassador.
    How can they get away with it? It’s shocking
    Have you got anything that would ruin Stalin Brown on a long term scale? Call Alistair Campbell, he must have something on him.

  25. 41
    Sukyspook says:

    Cheers Guido, enjoy the lunch before the storm….the fan is warming up and the s*%t’s ready to be launched…..

    bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

  26. 45
    Thunderbox says:

    Perjury, Perjury. This is her ‘Archer’ moment. What goes around comes around. Any guesses as to whether the Home Office are at this moment having a special suite fitted out in Holloway for the two cheating Baroness, Udin the thief and Scotland the liar. “Hey Ho, Up em and stuff em” sings Anthony Rolly.

    • 47

      But it isn’t perjury. It’s what she really, truly believed. Honest! She’ll give her winning smile and… oh. It isn’t working!

    • 116

      Umm, but is it perjury? Was her statement to the UKBA under oath? I bet it wasn’t.

      The crooked old witch will be able to claim that lying to the UKBA isn’t illegal, so she shouldnt’ resign….

      BTW, I think from this point on, if anyone ever has to lie in a really obvious way – eg when caught by the missus with a screen full of donkey pron – just cover your mouth with your hand and say, “muffle NO muffle, I ws looking for muffle muffle a donkey sanctuary mufffle” and this will be known as Brownian Bullshitting.

      The bloke is hilarious. “Damn, I have to lie – I know, I’ll cover my mouth, then it doesn’t count…”

      • 131

        Not under oath, but it would have been under caution, I would think.

      • 185
        Justice Fingers says:

        Attempting to pervert the course of justice, I would think.

        • 280
          Not at home says:

          or malfeasance in public office? In theory omsone misleading an investigation in a department for which they bear some responsiblity …

      • 243
        Peter Grimes says:

        116 But the UKBA ‘believed’ the RobberBaroness’ story before the raid on the Tongan’s love shack and before her arrest and questioning, and fined the NutcrackerThighsBaroness the measly lunchbill £5k. The story will be that the fragrant RobberBaroness with the crunching thighs saw a DIFFERENT passport, and that the Tongan has secreted it somewhere. It is highly likely that her Tonga AG friend is manufacturing a new passport dated 1 April 2008 after a quick phonecall. And good quality stamps can be got indicating leave to stay in the UK from the UKBA itself!

  27. 50
    thick as thieves says:

    NEVER MIND THE FUCKING PICNIC FOR FUCKS SAKE!
    PULL THE FUCKING TRIGGER MAN!

  28. 51
    Captain Huxtable says:

    When is somebody going to work out a good gag with the Scotland passport story, and the Baroness Scotland passport story? It’s oh so exploitable.

  29. 56
    streamfisher says:

    It was obvious that things did not add up when the story first broke (sounds like Brown and Darling double act… Add Up and Broke, now appearing at the end of the Brighton Pier show), but unless anybody gets to see the cleaners documents (already been confiscated by the Home office I suspect, and not likely to see the light of day again), its difficult to PROVE who is telling the truth and who is the liar, the Attorney General is certainly a liar, all reminiscent of Jaquie Smith, they won’t go unless they are dragged out screaming (back to Gordon again).

    • 60

      Yeah, but Scotland makes Jacqui Smith seem like a breath of fresh air! (Never thought I’d come to that conclusion…)

    • 273
      Agent 99 says:

      Steamfisher

      I wonder if the Cleaner photocopied the document herself between getting sacked and the raid?

      Now that would scare a few people and give the Hooness a sleepless night.

  30. 61
    Pericles says:

    Fuck the picnic Fawkes, I want Scotland’s ass.

  31. 63
    Pericles says:

    Not in that sense of course. Although…if Pericles was three sheets to the wind and was examining her through the Châteauneuf-du-Pape glasses, who knows. Pericles has dropped anchor in lesser ports.

  32. 65
    bandersnatch says:

    hah hah ha Lord Mandlebum has just been refused entry to the Nulabore Conference ‘because of a problem with his security pass’… These Labour titled persons seem to be having recurrent problems with documents… viewing or producing…

  33. 66
    The Baroness Sleaze says:

    Patricia Scotland – The Attorney General for England, Wales and Northern Irelands’ Alma Mater is Cambridge college of Arts and Technology AKA Anglia Polytechnic !

    • 84
      streamfisher says:

      They are all called Universities now. The Perishers.. B.A Calcutta (failed).

    • 90
      nell says:

      Baroness Scotland the one responsible for bringing in the Immigration Law which she has just breached and also the one responsible for bringing in THAT extradition treaty with America.

    • 97
      Jan says:

      Actually she went to Mid Essex Tech College.It got cobbled up with other colleges to make a super-duper university (NOT). In the latest Sunday Times league tables it is 103/114. Her colleague Vera Baird currently the Solicitor General went to Newcastle Poly.Now I know some people say a lot of students going to Oxbridge are t……..rs.That could be true.But Mid Essex Tech College and Newcastle Poly.Pleeeeese. Of course the Ladeeeee states she has a degree from London University.It was an external degree and might have been awarded by London but it is not the same thing.

      • 102
        nell says:

        Labour manipulating the ‘truth’ or if that doesn’t fit just tell an outright lie and hope you can get away with it.

      • 135

        All degrees from London University are external, I believe?

        • 188
          The Baroness Sleaze says:

          Baroness Scotland’s Alma Mater is as clear as mud:

          London University has numerous colleges, institutions etc.
          http://www.london.ac.uk/colleges_institutes

          Her wikipedia entry puts her Alma Mater as Cambridge college of Arts and Technology, which became Anglia Higher Education College before RISING to Polytechnic status…

          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patricia_Scotland,_Baroness_Scotland_of_Asthal

        • 265
          Feckless University - "sponsored by numpties so you don't have to think either" says:

          And worthless to the private sector.

          Now, get any old crap degree from a shit hole ex-poly and you’re fast tracked on New Labia’s stairway to Strictly Cum Expense Busting* stardom.

          *no oldies, employed, straights, intelligent, hard working, ‘broadsheet’ readers, IQ over the national average, indigenous British, those who don’t need council information translated, C of E. etc.

      • 436
        naieveVoter says:

        these colleges are not real universities and as such don’t offer degrees of any validity – it’s like getting a plastic degree which you can pin on your door – these fucking lackies are fucking awful – why should they have power over us? what’s fucking wrong with this country – it wasn’t always like this????????

  34. 80
    Ivor Schwartzporsche says:

    Sky talking about pirates. Hey, you’ill find ‘em all in Brighton

  35. 89
    Anonymous says:

    Apparently Baroness Scotland paid her housekeeper just £6 per hour.
    Also apparently, the visa in the housekeeper’s passport had already expired (irrespective of whether it was genuine or not) before Baroness Scotland claimed to have seen it.

    • 98
      nell says:

      No No you have it wrong – Baroness Scotland is adamant that there must have been a 2nd passport , because she ‘claims’ to have seen a passport with a legitimate and up to date work permit stamp.

      Loloahi says she only has the one tongan passport , the one with the expired stamp that the home office suspect is not genuine. Loloahi also says she was never asked to show the baroness her passport.

      I know who I believe. And it isn’t the baroness who also yesterday, in a state of desperation said that she had reported to the police that she had just discovered a number of her valuables were missing. The police, this morning, have said that they have received no such complaint from the baroness.

      Spin and smear. It’s what labour do when their lies start coming home to roost.

      • 148
        AnonymousSource says:

        The Mail report also alleges that after they approached the Baroness on the Saturday that she phoned “Lolo”at home and asked her what documents she’d produced to secure employment with her which seems strange if she’d already seen them at the said interview and as someone has said bearing in mind that the Baroness must be privy to some very confidential government documents why was the cleaner set to work immediately without proper vetting ? I would have thought that irrespective of employment law the taking of copies of identification is “de rigeur” for any employee of a government minister let alone one as senior as Patricia Scotland.If you try and open a bank account you have to supply either a copy of your passport and/or driving licence plus a utility bill or similar as proof of id and address to comply with the money laundering and subsequently terrorism legislation???

      • 155
        Sir Mufbourne-Harbor says:

        If the cleaner had a decent recent but forged paperwork at great expense I shouldn’t wonder then why was she working for slave wages? with proper paperwork she could have got a better job like a traffic gestapo or summit.

        • 175
          Grandma B says:

          We don’t know who is telling the truth, but as Baroness Scotland didn’t follow the rules she is unable to prove her case, so as a matter of honour she just has to resign. (I feel I should add a question mark, but I won’t)

      • 189
        Old codger says:

        You would think that with a solicitor hubby, they would have been aware of the risks of getting employment in the AG’s office using an invalid passport.

        The whole thing stinks.

        • 212
          udderly 'orrible says:

          Au contraire, it was all an elaborate Serbian-hubby-organised wrangle to test government security, probity and the AG’s knowledge of her own laws.

          TongoTongo duly failed all these tests magnificently and equated her achievement to a congestion charge misdemeanour.

          In McMental’s (one) eye this doesn’t disqualify the 3rd-ranker with her BonkerBalls-approved 5th-rate polyfilla degree, from staying in office and clasping her dodgy expenses closer still to her heaving bosom.

          It’s what Liebour does in the name of “fairness and equality”.

      • 342
        Rip Van Winkle says:

        If I were the Tongan cleaner I might just be finding out how I could take legal proceeding for slander.

      • 441
        naieveVoter says:

        IT’S THE BARONESS WHAT DONE IT

  36. 91
    going mental says:

    Oi fawkes wheres the sport section ?

  37. 93
    mitch says:

    What is it with nulab and passports eh?.

    • 106
      nell says:

      Well mandy and blunkett would be the one’s know wouldn’t they? They, after all have had first hand knowledge of ‘dealing with’ foreign passports and the right to reside and work in Britain for their own close associates haven’t they?

      • 149
        Ivor Schwartzporsche says:

        Oh yes, I forgot about that. thanks Nell

        • 244
          skinny bastard says:

          Lets consider for a moment what twats labour are. Blunkett was
          once home sec and he is as blind as a bat but his job as home sec
          made him the nations head of neibourhood watch !!!

          YOU COULDN’T MAKE IT UP

      • 221
        The Cynic. says:

        VERY close associates, I think!

  38. 94
    mitch says:

    Oh ! and the truth.

  39. 103
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    It’s interesting that – according to the Mail’s report – offered the housekeeper work immediately, with no security check of any kind. I wouldn’t be able to get the lowest admin job in a government office without a rigorous reference check and, if I was going to be around confidential information, at least a token vetting. We are told in the Mail that Ms Scotland works at home on Fridays – her home is therefore an office on that day. Interesting eh?

    • 112
      A Marketing Industry Cunt says:

      Is it coz Loloahi Tapui is a person of ‘colour’ and thus deemed whiter than white and must be employed ASAP to further New Labia’s positive discrimination policies? Innit!

      • 150
        Sir Mufbourne-Harbor says:

        ‘person of colour’ hasn’t got u innit

        • 179
          Biffo says:

          It’s more likely due to the fact that she’d work for peanuts. Which in itself should have made Scotland suspicious.

        • 372
          A Marketing Industry Cunt says:

          Not at all. I just fail to see why there is any need for discrimination, positive, negative or otherwise. I wonder what the racial breakdown was for the job applicants vs. interviewees. How many applied for the job? Where was it advertised? Just out of curiosity.

          Am sure New Labia types would love to know more, or perhaps when shit is hitting their backyard fan they choose not to.

          • Ivor Schwartzporsche says:

            Yeah it was advertised in the local rag or website-can’t rember the detail but scotland’s assistant rang about an advert; ‘Cleaner/housekeeper looking for local employment’ whatever.
            The tongue was given an interview same afternoon and started work immediately. Surely, as has been mentioned in GF – one would have thought that the government have details of vetted staff or agencies to call upon? Anyway-tongue should have been vetted regardless. This was not the case and the office of DG has been made a farce-one rule for them and another for the rest of us just like speeding and that.

    • 176
      Biffo says:

      Are her mortgage company & her home insurance company aware of this? Also her local council where she pays council tax? Special rates for a house used part time as an office (much higher), also tax implications as far as I’m aware.

  40. 108
    Colonel Nut says:

    Who primed the Baroness to state she was shown “a passport” rather than “her passport”?Typical New Labour smear tactics to discredit the witness.The Baroness as the Lawmaker aware of illegals with false passports should have very carefully examined it shouldn’t she?

    • 312
      Not at home says:

      the statement was very carefully worded; all the documents were referred to as ‘a’, inviting the posisblity that there could be others. It looked like a defence against events which had not unfolded but which they expected to surface.

      It was a strategic move and it looked like it.

      • 422
        Justice Fingers says:

        Correct. The wording all along has been quite carefully chosen so as to leave the maximum amount of wriggle room. This is to be expected as it is exactly the practice that lawyers revel in.

    • 444
      naieveVoter says:

      THIS BARONESS IS FULL OF SHIT

  41. 110
    Dunpicnicing says:

    Calm down.
    If I remember correctly, the last time he did this, our blogmeister didn’t come back to us until Monday morning!

  42. 111
    Inequality engagement comissioner says:

    Can we get the Americans to extradite her please?

  43. 115
    going mental says:

    look she is toast , whos next ?

    • 118
      nell says:

      I’m not at all sure you’re right there. She’s hanging on to that Attorney General’s job quite as tenaciously as gordon is hanging on to his.

      I’ve have never seen people in public life behaving so scandalously as we have have seen the members of this government behave.

      It can’t get any worse, can it?

      • 123
        going mental says:

        Hanging is fine by me

      • 172
        shelling-out says:

        I think there are plenty more skeletons in the Labour closet just screaming to come out.

        Time will tell.

      • 183
        Biffo says:

        Let’s hope the Tongan & Max Clifford stamp – very hard – on her grasping hands.

      • 242
        Onan the Rotarian says:

        Oh yes it can.

      • 249
        Malcolm Drake says:

        Cecil Parkinson; the arms deals that mumsie brokered for Mark Thatcher; Shirley Porter and the Council Houses for votes scandal; Small politician, apparently living on “rations,” who appears to have some very shady dealings with council houses; Neil Hamilton; Jonathan Aitken; Giles Chichester; Derek Conway. No, the Tories never have any scandals and, if they actually, do it’s always the uvvers wots worse.

        • 299
          Dysgwrcymraeg says:

          Malcolm, you left out Jeffrey Archer, bad show old boy?

          • Fuck 'em All says:

            The Tories are equally as corrupt, inefficient and just in it for the money. Give parliament a bloody nose and vote BNP for a single term.

            Make the nasty fuckers (not the BNP this time doh!) who think they are entitled to be elected a short sharp shock.

          • Fuck 'em All says:

            The Tories are equally as corrupt, inefficient and just in it for the money. Give parliament a bloody nose and vote B&P for a single term.

            Make the nasty fuckers (not the B&P this time doh!) who think they are entitled to be elected a short sharp shock.

        • 304
          Jan says:

          This is just for starters:
          Margaret Hodge – Minister for Children after she’d presided over the worst
          cases of child abuse at Islington
          Robin Cook- Abandoning his wife at Heathrow
          Bernie Ecclestone
          David Blunkett -Twice.One for a’love child’.The other for an illegal
          Peter Mandelson – Twice had to resign
          Prezza – Three times. Punchup,Tracey and cleaning bill
          Tessa Jowell – Husband
          Gordon Brown – Flat owned by Maxwell
          Cherie Blair – Two flats in Bristol and that Aussie con-man.Greed
          Euan Blair – Drunk in the gutter
          Ken Livingstone – Fathered five children by three different women
          Jo Moore – Good day to bury bad news
          Kinnocks – Greed,greed,greed
          Nu-Liebor – Dr David Kelly

      • 467
        MrJones says:

        “It can’t get any worse, can it?”

        Yes. They could try and rig the election.

  44. 121
    mitch says:

    “A Colombian hitman recently disclosed to the Venezuelan government that over 2,500 paramilitary fighters are in the country, each chasing a $25 million bounty on the life of Venezuela President Hugo Chavez, according to Arab news network Al Jazeera.”

    I wonder if we can get them to help us out?

  45. 122
    Jumbo says:

    Illegal immigrant vs…illegal immigrant

  46. 127

    I wish everyone wouldn’t keep referring to these scabby Labour crooks as “toast”. I *like* toast. Toast and jam, toast and peanut butter, cheese on toast, and the classic, toast and butter. I like a little freshly ground black pepper on mine. Yum. Why shame a popular and much-loved national dish by linking it with bent labour politicians?

    I suggest we use the word “shit” instead. So, for instance, you’d have “Baroness Scotland is shit”, or “Gordon Brown is shit”. How does that sound?

  47. 138
    Anonymous says:

    Mr Fawkes, I hope you get your cross hairs sorted out. They didn’t exactly work last time did they?

  48. 142
    buns says:

    Gordon is set to make the speech of his life this week.

  49. 152
    A po-faced Princess Polytwaddle, talking down at people from a temporary ivory tower at Broitern says:

    Oh I’m SO looking forward to Gorgon’s speech!

    His commanding gruff voice . . .

    The penetrating power of his irresistable insight . . .

    The awesome dimensions of his analysis . .

    The vigour of his plangent pushing . . .

    He reaches the inner recesses of my mind . . .

    The sustainability of his . . . oh what’s the use . . . I’m his . . ALL HIS . . to do with what he will.

    I must rest with my head resting on his book

  50. 153
    IH says:

    Can’t wait!

  51. 157
    mitch says:

    Barack obama and gordon brown are in a meeting(well it is a joke ) in the white house kitchen. obamas wife michelle walks in and ask what they are doing. they tell her they are making plans for ww3, she ask what are the plans? to which barack replies ” we are going to kill 14 million muslims and 1 dentist” michelle looks at him and says ” why 1 dentist?’ barack then pats gordon on the back and says ” told you nobody would ask about the muslims!”.

  52. 166
    Old Nick Heavenly says:

    In the meantime, whilst we wait until tomorrow morning:

    ROUND 2 of the heavyweight contest Banks v People is about to begin.

    Banks won the first round because the ref held People’s arms behind his back.

    Hope you are all prepared!

  53. 167
    shelling-out says:

    I would like her to have plenty of sleepless nights from now on.

    Could you fix it for me, Guido?

  54. 169
    nell says:

    So who is going to be Labour’s guest international presence at their conference this week?

    Tony had Bill Clinton – great speaker whether you agree with him or not. So who’s gordon got ………..what for it………yes..its Nancy Dell’Olio!!!!

  55. 180
    streamfisher says:

    Prescott v Harman:

  56. 181
    nell says:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1216434/Blair-charging-fans-180-picture-taken-events.html

    This is even more amusing – tony charges people who attend his lectures in the states and canada, £180 to have their photo taken with him .

    Well when you’re a hard up ex pm you have to make a living somehow!

    Sadly I don’t think gordon will be able to go this route when his time is up.

    • 190
      streamfisher says:

      The stocks would work.The stocks partially immobilized its victims exposing them in public place to the scorn of the local people, who often took to insulting, kicking, spitting and in some cases urinating and defecating on its victims.
      The proceeds could go to charity.

    • 197
      Lord High Executioner says:

      I’d gladly pay for his photo as he’s taken away from this place to another etc etc.

    • 198
      Lizzie says:

      People would have to be paid to pose with Gordon I would think! that is if they were still awake after after his presentation.

    • 199
      shelling-out says:

      …and he’s a multi-millionaire. Money-grabbing bast*rd. The yanks are the only ones who’ll put up with him now.

    • 200
      Colonel Nut says:

      The Beast of Wildenstein might want her photo taken with him.

      • 207
        shelling-out says:

        Mrs Wildenstein….every plastic surgeon’s dream.

        She is minted and she can afford £180 to have her photo taken with Tone, but I’m guessing she’d rather have her boobs done (again).

    • 369
      Passport Control says:

      Tacky and Vulgar, wonder who put him up to it ?

  57. 187
    Jimmy says:

    “he’ll be blogging information which will give the Baroness a sleepless night…”

    I’m on tenterhooks. Let me guess, you didn’t find her name on the Law Society website?

    • 217
      udderly 'orrible says:

      Quite right and she wouldn’t be.
      But she can be found in the Bar Directory:

      The Rt Hon Baroness Patricia Janet Scotland of Asthal QC
      Attorney General’s Office
      20 Victoria Street
      London
      SW1H 0NF
      Telephone:
      020 7271 2405
      Fax:
      020 7271 2432
      Position:
      Minister of State, Home Office; HM Attorney General; Bencher (M)
      Date of Call:
      Jul 1977 (QC 1991)
      Inn of Court:
      Middle Temple
      Qualifications:
      LLB (Lond) Honorary PHD’s (Westminster & Buckingham)

      *
      Published Remarks
      Honorary Fellow The Society for Advanced Legal Studies (Cambridge) and Honorary Fellow (Cardiff)

  58. 194
    Lizzie says:

    Quite the teaser!

  59. 195
    Old codger says:

    I’m surprised the Met haven’t shot her as she looks Brazilian.

    Still time.

  60. 202
    Vote vote vote for Jacqui says:

    Guido,come on mate for fucks sake ,football is on in a minute you old teaser you.
    Just give us a clue, erm,Vibrator,erm Cocaine use,erm Doctors and Nurses,
    erm sado whatsisname,oh come on.

  61. 204
    Lizzie says:

    Sky showed 2 pies, 2 lies, 2 jags etc Prescott at the conference, bellowing out his pitch to support Labour, please someone tell me he is retiring at the next election!

    • 208
      shelling-out says:

      He was absolutely bladdered – well he certainly looked like it to me.

      What a fat, useless tub of lard he is.

      • 209
        Lizzie says:

        The only people who will miss him will be “the fight club fans”

      • 365
        Passport Control says:

        Was Prescot the Minister for shagging staff and stuffing your face at the tax payers expense ! He held the Sleaze portfolio did he not ?

    • 234
      Geordie Boy says:

      My money’s on a heart attack fairly soon. By the way,didn’t he appear in the film Seven? Gluttony wasn’t it?

    • 371
      Max says:

      I was a bit bleary-eyed to be fair but did I not hear him saying “New Labour is dead, we are old Labour now”?

      Just need to know so’s I can stock up on bin liners and tinned food for the winter ahead. Know what I mean.

  62. 206
    Patti Scotland says:

    What me worry. I am on halcyon.

  63. 210
    Colonel Nut says:

    Tonga has the world’s fattest population.The Baroness should bugger off there where she’ll blend in better.

    • 213
      shelling-out says:

      I doubt they’d welcome her with open arms after what she’s done to one of their own.

      • 218
        Shame an' scandal in de family says:

        She’d sink the bloody place, very sensitive to rising sea levels, there.

    • 281
      Lord Reith's Ghost says:

      You are obviously recalling the apocryphal story of the Queens Coronation in 1953.As the fairly statuesque Queen of Tonga rode by in the open carriage on the way to the Coronation at Westminster Abbey she was espied by a BBC Commentator who noted that she was sitting next to a small dimunitive man in full morning dress.The Queen of Tonga who had been featured prominently in the press over the previous few days was well known not least for her “traditional build” but the little man next to her was unknown to the BBC commentators – “Ah and here is the Queen of Tonga but I am afraid I don’t know who the man sitting next to her is !” – “Probably her lunch!” said one of his colleagues. The days on a non-PC BBC eh ?? Probably be sacked now

  64. 214
    Shame an' scandal in de family says:

    Soliciting in Hoe Street?

  65. 225
    calder56 says:

    Interesting that Baroness Scotland was paying Lolo £6 an hour of her own cash to clean – I seem to remember that Gordon Brown was paying rather more than that of taxpayer’s money to have his un-occupied flat cleaned each week !!

  66. 228
    13eastie says:

    Harperson wearing her giraffe-skin coat again in Brighton.

  67. 231
    bandersnatch says:

    The younger Milliband is doing quite well with his speech at the conference… Will both the Gorgon and the Baroness BOTH be swept away…?…

    • 237
      Geordie Boy says:

      Take it from someone who’s in the know. The word on the street in South Shield is that the Milliband manboy will get a big kick up the arse at the next election.

      • 257
        Peter Grimes says:

        Is that Toilets Maguire’s version of events back howem?

      • 267
        It's a funny old world says:

        Could it even be that “Portillo Moment” when a possible “Leader in Waiting” is cut down by an ungrateful electorate ?? – and after ALL Labour’s done for them as well.

        • 303
          Geordie Boy says:

          Up in this part of the world Labour used to be the first word on bairns’ tongues.I think it’s now been replaced by twats.

          • Lanchester Lad says:

            Amazing it’s almost becoming the “lingua franca” of the country – that’s the very word we seem to use in the West Midlands usually preceded by the phrase -”Brown is a ……”

  68. 236
    terrace bar frequenter says:

    did she claim 170k as an allowance for living outside london, and if so, when was chiswick’s boundary reassigned.

  69. 248
    Shame an' scandal in de family says:

    Chiswick’s boundaries are now global and the 170 grand are there to help deserving barristers find domestics at £6/hr.

    Good grief, you just cain’t find the shoe-shine boys.

  70. 258
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Clifford is, of course, a Labour supporter (or at least used to be) so he could be playing a tricky game. I think we’re depending on you Guido to ensure the right conclusions are drawn.

    • 285
      Scenic says:

      Clifford and principles do not mix, he was a Labour supporter as they swept all before them 10 years ago, was no doubt a Thatcher supporter in the 80s (when I believe he was an ‘entrepeneur’) and can probably see which way the wind is blowing now – he comes from the Murdoch school of politics.

  71. 259
    Boycott the ПРАВДА licence fee says:

    Sorry Guido,

    Gotta quit your site for the sake of my mental health. MSM tells me you’re doing my brain in and I must only watch Sky or BBC1 and fuck all else. Sorry for the ridiculously lengthy link (blame Rupert) :

    http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Technology/Popularity-Of-Social-Networking-Sites-Email-Communication-Texting-Blogging-Leading-To-Anxiety/Article/200909415391445?lpos=Technology_First_Home_Article_Teaser_Region_7&lid=ARTICLE_15391445_Popularity_Of_Social_Networking_Sites%2C_Email_Communication%2C_Texting%2C_Blogging_Leading_To_Anxiety

    • 284
      Shame an' scandal in de family says:

      i”You will suddenly feel low energy, you become clumsy and you have a spatial disorder. You become exhausted.

      Professor Nada Kakabadse”

      This has nothing to do with blackberries, or with teknollerjee .

      I have had this syndrome since the age of sixteen. I am now sixty-one. I have always blamed the beer but I can still stuff a large motor-cycle at speed, through a vanishing gap.

      I would invite the Professor to sit on the back, while I do it, if her feet will reach the pegs.

      • 296
        Truth Sayer says:

        Professor Nada Kakabadse is currently counting the money from all the brown bags handed to her by the vested interest suits.

    • 302
      Sir William Waad says:

      Use too much IT and you become a Blackberry and Apple Fool.

    • 385
      Rupert says:

      I blame a lack of hyper text transfer protocol actually.

  72. 263
    petef says:

    An unasked question: Did the housekeeper ask to see the Noble Baronesse’s passport? Surely working for an anyone without checking their documents is also an offense – if not it soon will be. And should we ask about Guido’s resident status before reading his blog?

  73. 288

    Come on Guido, brush off the crumbs, fold away the blanket and get back to work. How long does it take you to deal with 2 cheese sarnies, a packet of Pringles and a tin of Irn Bru these days?

  74. 291
    Shame an' scandal in de family says:

    Mr. Fawkes is a British Gentleman of unimpeachable provenance and pedigree.
    I know this.
    Someone told me in the pub.

    • 477
      Boycott the ПРАВДА licence fee says:

      Whatever he may be he has done a terrific job of exposing the troughers: the parasite class who regard the rest of us as only fit to be their slaves. A place in British political history is reserved for Guido. He’s done the serfs a huge turn.

  75. 307
    Man on the Clapham Omnibus says:

    The only sleepless night will be for wondering when Guido’s gonna finish gorging himself like a Roman emperor on his birthday on this picnic and give us the gen.

  76. 313
    nell says:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/gordon-brown/6236535/Gordon-Brown-voters-will-see-I-led-world-during-financial-crisis.html

    Gordon’s view of himself today as he arrives at the conference is that ‘Voters will back Labour when they realise that he has led the world out of recession.’

    Delusion of the highest order.

    • 328
      The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

      Even Lord Fondleboys id thinking of joining the Conservative party

      rearrange
      “sinking rat leaving yet another ship a”

    • 337
      AnonymousSource says:

      Just saw Brown crack some pretty weak jokes before his Q&A session at Brighton with prospective Labour Candidates.Here’s his best sample

      Alistair Darling went on a visit to town in the South where traditionally they have always voted Conservative and was show around the Council Chamber by the Conservative Mayor. Alistair noticed that on the wall was a plaque naming all the previous Mayors for the past 100 years all with Conservative by their name except the one who had been Mayor in 1940 – the word Labour appeared next to his name.

      “So why did you elect a Labour Mayor in 1940 ?” asked Alistair

      “Well,” said the Mayor, “in 1940 everybody was worried about the Nazi invasion of Britain and Hitler had just issued a proclamation stating that all Mayor’s would be shot by the Germans when they landed – so we decided to elect a Labour Councillor as Mayor that year !”

      His other one was an anecdote about interviewing a constituent who had areputation for hitting people and has knocked out the antiRoyal Willie Hamilton but THAT was…………!!!!

      Some pretty weak smiles and ragged applause in the hall as Brown told them.He didn’t seem to notice as he smiled that wierd cheesy lop-sided grin.Truly the guy is totally on another planet !!

    • 340
      Doris says:

      The real recession hasn’t started yet as it has been delayed by quantatative easing – Gordon knows this but doesn’t give a toss as he won’t be in power when the shit hits the fan.

      • 451
        Fume de ma taunt says:

        And he will then claim that had he been elected he would have been able to have averted the disaster.

    • 374
      Stu says:

      Delusional, fuckin hell he’s absolutly barking mad. His arrogance coupled with his blind stupidity leaves me speachless.

    • 478
      Boycott the ПРАВДА licence fee says:

      You could be on to something there, Nell. Maybe it’s not depression he’s suffering from but rather psychosis.
      I had to look up the Marr interview on Youtube. The body language spoke a thousand words. Gordo was eager as fuck to swing the tenor of the discussion over to his dodgy eyesight. The pills issue was clearly out of bounds. Marr got the message, but all credit to him for asking the question.

  77. 315
    Baldrick_O_Barrack says:

    I wanna Tongan passport so I can learn about canoe long-haul

  78. 322
    el ponderer says:

    I want it to be…

    a lesbian coven comprising most of ZNL’s female top ranks and orgiastic satanic rituals in Baroness Scotland’s front room involving the bloody sacrifice of chickens, stripped and tied down Tongan illegal immigrants on an altar and HH prancing round in a sheet with stag antlers on her head…

    with polaroids.

    Anything else will be a major disappointment.

    • 329
      The Admiral says:

      Nope, not on. Disgusting…. I like chickens…… ;-))

    • 333

      Don’t forget child abuse too.

      I see that bitch Margaret Hodge is back in Gordon’s cabinet of all the talentless. She is now tourism minister in the Culture, Media and Sports Department.

      Is that paedophile tourism by any chance? She has previous FFS.

    • 336

      Don’t forget c*ild abuse too.

      I see that bitch Margaret Hodge is back in Gordon’s cabinet of all the talentless. She is now tourism minister in the Culture, Media and Sports Department.

      Is that pa*dophile tourism by any chance? She has previous FFS.

  79. 329
    Sir William Waad says:

    Vote vote vote:

    YES BS is in a pants-on-fire situation and will soon be toast;

    NO Guido is a sarnie short of a picnic;

    MAYBE Everyone will lose interest and BS will limp on.

    Cast your vote NOW 020 7271 2492

    (Calls charged at exorbitant rate. Really annoying electronic hold-on music. Get permission from the person who pays the phone bill before calling. Certain callers may receive a bonus surprise visit from the Borders Agency.)

  80. 339
    Huw Jampton says:

    There hasn’t been much mention (except by Lolo herself) of the A-G’s aide ‘Judy’, and none in this thread hitherto. The aide Judy was the one who, in the A-G’s presence, took and examined the documents from Lolo.

    Who is Judy? Where is Judy? Is she going to be getting a visit from Plod, asking for her version of events – particularly whter there was or was not the magical second passport? Would Judy be willing to give an official written statement to plod saying that she saw the second passport? Does her loyalty to the A-G extend to perjuring herself?

    • 349
      AnonymousSource says:

      According to the Mail “Lolo” was told by “Patricia” that “Judy” came from New Zealand. What’s the betting that “Judy” was on the first plane out of the UK back to Auckland for “personal reasons” Saturday evening before the story broke ???

      “Judy” could be the “smoking gun” or the “fall-girl” for the Noble Baroness !!

  81. 341
    CCL says:

    Did anyone see Gorgon running this morning on Brighton beach?

    • 347
      Man on the Clapham Omnibus says:

      Like Forrest Gump with a rocket up his arse: he thought he saw President Omaha up ahead of him.

    • 353
      Special K says:

      I thought it was a wildebeest giving birth.

      Turns out it was GB and Toenails had become dislodged.

  82. 343
    Mummer says:

    is “picnic” rhyming slang?

    picnic blanket?

    or has he gone for a chocolate bar consisting of milk chocolate and peanuts, covering chewy nougat, caramel, biscuit and puffed rice

  83. 348
    Vote vote vote for Jacqui says:

    Nice one Sir Billy,

    I think Two Jags,Two Kharzi seats ,two fat fucking guts should be despatched immediatly to Tonga to repair the Diplomatic rift.
    They will revere him as the fattest bastard ever to visit their country and with a little bit of luck canabalise the fat fucker and feast on him.

  84. 352
    Vote vote vote for Jacqui says:

    Guido, I am seriously thinking of reporting you to my local council department of consumer affairs for misleading the public.
    Watch Toenails figures climb back to the pre-Guido days and let us restore Sir Charles Softwidget to his former Glory.
    Talk about Delboy Trotter,you are worse than him.
    No Income Tax No VAT,
    No money back no guarantee,
    No fucking exclusive!!!!

  85. 358
    BBC Parliament watcher says:

    OMG, did anyone catch the Harriet Harman “wooooh” standing next to Gordon Brown in the half deserted conference hall just now? So cringeworthy

    • 361
      Special K says:

      I presume that you are in traction and watching on hospital TV?

      • 409

        Not if the watcher is in an NHS hospital, is brassic at the time, and has to pay to view (free to air) TV on account of the hospital ‘entertainment’ budget being privatised.

        A good friend of mine was in a London hospital two years ago recovering from advanced testicular cancer and associated surgery and paid around £10 for three days of TV. The very same TV he is able to receive foc at home as he has a TV tax licence. Yes, the TV was on a bendy thing and was his own but when someone is in for weeks on end is that an ethical method of extracting cash.

        I would have hoped my vastly bloated tax take was being spent on making patient’s lives easier, not printing glossy marketing brochures encouraging every bloody leeching company in town to ‘exploit the potential of a captive audience’.

        Billions have apparently been spent in the NHS. Wards are still dirty, staff appear still not to give a shit and many more can’t converse in English. Clip board whores a-plenty however. Where has my bloody tax gone to?

        • 440
          Anonymous says:

          In Chester, Hospicom charge £3.50 per day although the minimum spend on the card was £4.00. The mrsa was free though.

    • 393
      Max says:

      Harriet Harperson interviewed on Al Ja BBC today said (yet again) that the tories are going round telling everyone that the election victory is theirs and “no it isn’t” etc etc. The idiot BBC woman did not think to say “but actually Harriet, isn’t that another of those Labour lies or indeed can you tell me exactly where I can pick up a link to anything said by any senior tory that sounds anything like what you’ve just said?” [Harriet's mouth opens but nothing comes out]

      • 430
        Anonymous says:

        They havent come round and told me yet. I assume Harman ( who is probably the most bare faced liar of them all remember her answer in the commons about the reason for Fred Goodwins knighthood.) has evidence of this practice.

      • 453
        Scrobs... says:

        When will we see ‘Gulper’ Yvette Balls-Cooper on screen?

        Guaranteed to make a laughing stock of McBruin’s failres!

  86. 360
    caesars wife says:

    the cross hairs are out , fawkes goes on picnic , ruin backs her on andrew marr , trouble indeed .

    Andrew pravda show has commited mnay sins in previous shows , CW was expecting Andrew to suck so to speak , i hadnt thought that animosity towards blair pr men was part of ruins make up , ruin opened by batting Andrew marr into place , but then Andrew went onto economy , ruin refused to answer the question on treasury own cuts , Cw noted that Andrew seemed at this point to have had enough and from that point on he stiched him like a abroath smokie , was he blind was he taking pain killers , is he backing baroness scotland , why did labour have worst poll ratings since 1910 . I couldnt quite work out why Andrew turned on him , was it nlair loyality or just ruin taking the piss out of his sunday show ?
    ruin looked both shaky and steely throughout interview trying carefully to manipulate every question , non answer but making changes , he hasnt changed at all has he ! looked all over the palce to me .

    labour conference going well there is huge ammount of empty seats in mid row , Hains speech was combative although so loose and innacurate , made a number of wild accusations , glad to hear comrade still being in use , and one speech even included greedy capitalists LOL douglas aleaxander was having a pop at eric pickles , i couldnt work out who pays for the NPF bills but then again it was linked to the SIS and conuslatation groups , looked like the chancellory of 1933 germany . Ed milliband supposedly engerised , he might as well as been selling magic floor cleaner on the market ” see this this is conservative goo , sprinkle some new labour cleaner on price 100% of GDP and it vanishes and you get your old carpet back good as new” best of luck to the future of the labour party and voters of Doncaster with more of his spin for the idiots .

    ruin is in trouble , repent labour repent ! too late

    • 390
      Anonymous says:

      I think it was a stitch up – all cooked up in advance, no doubt by Mandelbum. Both interviewer and interviewee acted out of character. Marr was far more persistent than he normally is and Brown made a show of explaining himself (with carefully pre-prepared answers, of course) rather than giving his usual condescending lecture that avoids all the questions. I think someone sat the two of them down in advance and sold them the idea that it would be good for Marr to look like he had a few teeth and essential for Brown to be seen to be answering tough questions with something approaching straight answers. I have to say, however, that Brown looked like a man who knew that he had to sit through those questions and give some kind of account of himself but who absolutely hated the process. After all, its something he’s avoided doing for 12 years now.

      The one question he completely swerved was the one about the pill popping.

      • 420
        Ratsniffer says:

        I go with the advance stitch up theory….Snotty was well briefed as to what was coming…..all done by prior agreement lick lick slurp slurp tell us about your interesting day prime minister….

    • 396
      Max says:

      Good shot of some sweat though. Or was that just on my TV?

      • 407
        Rivers of Sweat says:

        Imagine if he took off his jacket – the sweat would have made his shirt look a different colour and his armpits – well if you ever want to put yourself off eating or doing anything generally pleasant,imagine the fraudster’s armpits after that interview.

        Boy,when they panned away from the studio at the every of the A Marr show,Brown looked shellshocked out of his head.

        Surely the end is nigh – he will be hung on stage on Tuesday to the sounds of some WW2 Russian marching song?

  87. 363
    Vote vote vote for Jacqui says:

    I apologise to all and sundry and would hate to be seen as a Blog Hog but I have just had a memory recall.

    Many years ago my brother who worked for famine relief at that time
    went to Tonga as part of his famine relief duties.
    They were so fucking hungry ,they ate him.

    Send Two Jags pronto.

    Don’t it look that all that Jogging has paid off for the SnotGobbler?

    Who weighs the most,the SnotGobbler or Mrs. SnotGobbler?
    Fuck being stranded on a desert island with them two?

  88. 366

    I look forward to the full post! :)

  89. 367
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    All way off the mark
    If you have two versions of events one from a nulabour minister of the crown versus of a ilegal immigrant and her Serbian war crimial husband who falsely claimed to be a solicitor
    just who is the most credible?

    • 375
      chronic says:

      I wish all questions were that easy, I would never believe a nulabour minister.

    • 377
      Anonymous says:

      Occam’s razor says the version that requires the fewest assumptions wins. That’ll be the cleaner’s version, as Scotland’s version requires you to believe in the additional passport.

    • 382
      Stu says:

      Get your facts right he isnt Serbian, his parents where and he was born in Englang which makes him English DOH

      • 423
        Colonel Nut says:

        Someone can be a British citizen and resident but have loyalties elsewhere.We don’t know much about the cleaner’s husband and Britain has been no friend of Serbia in recent years.

      • 462
        Zacs_bac says:

        englang?

    • 398
      Jan says:

      See findmypast…..1968 births in Hammersmith.He is in there.As for ALL Serbs being war criminals.What a load of tosh.We were all fed lies during the 90s.That’s what the Germans/Croatians would like everybody to think. Who started this latest trouble in the Balkans?The Croatians wanted independence from greater Yugoslavia so I believe they asked their WWII allies,the Germans to help them.Remember the Croatians/Nazis butchered the Serbs in WWII.Just old scores and all that. As for Kosovo…we’ve ended up with thousands of Albanian criminals claiming to be from Kosovo.How many ‘Kosovans’ settled in the UK actually work?

    • 410
      Right or wronga says:

      The latter of course

    • 459
      thick as thieves says:

      neither of them?

    • 480
      Boycott the ПРАВДА licence fee says:

      It seems rather an improbable marriage: a white solicitor and a black cleaner. Doesn’t actually happen in real life, does it? Maybe in NuLabourland, though!

  90. 373
    Anonymous says:

    Picnic, my arse. Guido has been glued to his computer all afternoon (possibly with Max Clifford at his side) seeing how many extra hits his little tease has generated. I wonder how many more he needs before he spills the beans.

    It’s all about the site stats, innit?

    • 470

      I don’t know and frankly don’t care. That I am ‘allowed’ to express my uncensored opinions on a blog that is allegedly read by one or two of the fuckers in charge – both political and media, makes my day.

      What is your gripe?

  91. 384
    Jan says:

    O/T but still to do with illegal immigrants.Apparently Tesco are in trouble as one of their staff chosen to model their clothes is an illegal immigrant from Africa.Hahaha…..it’s this student scam thing yet again.Apparently Fatou Cham was issued with a student visa in 1998 but then her mother and child were allowed to follow her here.She then had two further children.FFS.Why did they allow here mother and child to settle in the UK and why was she allowed to avail of the NHS to have two further children. What about her studies?She couldn’t have been that clever if she could only get a job at Tesco.How many more hundreds of thousands of illegals are in the UK.I’d stop ALL student visas unless they were for the 100 odd institutions named in the Times Higher Education supplement.There are hundreds of dodgy colleges up and down the country. I would also make it impossible for foreign students to work here even for16 hours a week(which I think is the max they are supposed to work).That is how they are funding their ‘studies’.If they haven’t got the dosh up front they shouldn’t be allowed in.This would then allow British students to get these part-time jobs in places like Tesco’s.

    • 388
      caesars wife says:

      too left wing for me

    • 414
      Ratsniffer says:

      I wonder how many “students” have failed to return to their country of origin once their visa expires, and how many have been tracked down and deported? or is the “student” scam merely another Nulabour con trick?

    • 466
      udderly 'orrible says:

      One of the dodgier ones didn’t have a certain Baroness (at the time plain Miss) TongaTonga among its alumni perhaps?

      • 474
        Labour voter says:

        You are a nasty racist. What is it with the TongaTonga thing? I am sure that the good people of TongaTonga will be outraged to be drawn in to an argument that is so nasty and against the TongaTonga people.

        You should be ashamed of yourself.

    • 481
      Boycott the ПРАВДА licence fee says:

      Why did they pick this young woman, anyway? She really ain’t nothin’ special to look at. Certainly not model quality by most definitions!

  92. 391
    Jimmy says:

    “information which will give the Baroness a sleepless night…”

    You got your licence back?

  93. 395
    Agent 99 says:

    An intersting point about the film clip of the Mental one arriving at Brighton. There was not a single protestor anywhere. No placards nothing only adoring crowds.

    I shall be watching with acute interest a similar scene when it occurs at the Tories conference. Anyone want to bet rent a mob will be there, in camera and not held back?

    • 408
      Ratsniffer says:

      It will be full of foaming at the mouth crusty labour marxists, all ranting and raving and mugging like mad for the BBC news cameras.

    • 419
      Reg511 says:

      Grinding Bruin looked pretty ill on Marr, sweating badly by te end, the mental stress he will be under, on camera all week!

  94. 400
    Down with Brown! says:

    Mandy denied entry to the Labour conference because he had a dodgy pass.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8277362.stm

  95. 404
    firstlight40 says:

    How long is it before ‘arise Lady Lin Homer’ occurs (head of UKBA)

    UKBA are in this up to their necks, letting their minister off with a slapped wrist

  96. 415
    Anonymous says:

    Guido if your still sober lets have the BEANS!

  97. 421
    Vote vote vote for Jacqui says:

    Guido,

    I am warning you. If you don’t deliver the goods you are destined
    for the recycle bin. Are you an has bin?

    Time is up Guido.

    Are you so fucking rich now you don’t give a fuck?

    • 433
      Jimmy says:

      O ye of little faith. With build-up like this you know this going to be the biggest scoop in the history of the internet.

      • 447
        Anonymous says:

        On the contrary, past episodes like this have resulted in slightly moist squib at about 11pm, after the newspapers have gone to bed to get maximum exposure from the minimum news value.

      • 449
        Anonymous says:

        Probably more likely to be something small which turns out to be the ‘straw that breaks the camel’s back’…

  98. 424
    Passport Control says:

    In relation to the Labour party conference, has any pensioners been arrested yet under terrorism legislation for shouting “Rubbish” or ” Boo Rubard” during a ministers speech. They will at some point Im sure.

  99. 432
    naieveVoter says:

    all I can say about the labour party conference is that it is very pink

  100. 437
    Anonymous says:

    Do we know if the cleaner paid any taxes on the money that she was paid ?

    Also despite Baroness Royall’s efforts to protect the A-G by changing the rules over claiming money for members of the Lords living outside London is this change in the rules retrospective ? If not then surely the A-G is still in trouble for claiming money which she was not entitled to.

  101. 442
    Colonel Nut says:

    What about the fragrant Sarah?According to Sky, Brown’s going to wheel her out as his new public relations weapon.She’ll need the pills he’s taking and more.

  102. 443
    anonymouse says:

    If this isn’t sorted out soon it will be the head of the UKBA that will be resigning for succumbing to political pressure

  103. 455
    Vote vote vote for Jacqui says:

    Guido,

    The only SCOOP you’ve got is the one to pick up your dog’s shit.

    • 463
      thick as thieves says:

      take it easy jacqui, very soon the scoop will be splashed all over your face.
      be patient love. you are going to get it, don’t you worry.
      stop being so greedy and demanding, eh?
      ps are your thick as thieves fan club subs up to date?

  104. 456
    The Admiral says:

    ++++ new thread++++

    • 483
      Boycott the ПРАВДА licence fee says:

      Admiral,

      So it’s YOU that’s responsible for driving Guido into his recent over-posting mode!

  105. 482
    Boycott the ПРАВДА licence fee says:

    If Gordon Brown were minced up and made into sausages, they wouldn’t be allowed into Germany due to the food purity regulations.

  106. 486
    Colonel Nut says:

    And German sausages are the würst.

  107. 487

    Err, Guido, it’s now 13:14 and I’m still up and waiting like a kid at Christmas eve…

  108. 489
    Tin Cunliffe-Arsely says:

    “Magical Disappearing Tongan Passport”

    I’ve got a british one that magically disappears just before I set off “abroad”.


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