Friday Caption Contest (Toff in a Bubble)
LOL-Factor | Harry Cole
Goodwife Brooks Gossiped With the Devil | Standard
Barker: Mad Ministerial Microwaver of Dog Cushions | Scrapbook
Being the ‘Yes’ Man of Europe Has Got Ireland Nowhere | Irish Times
The Battle of 1922 | James Lansdale
Lurch to the Left? | Kirsty Walker
Greek Depositors Withdrew €700 Million Monday | Wall Street Journal
Macrory Off | PR Week
Adam Smith to Testify | Guardian
Britain is Conning the Bond Market | Speccie
SOAS and “Typical Israelis” | The Commentator
Re-moding | Dot Commons
The 1922 Voting Calculations of a Tory MP | Paul Goodman
Irish Referendum – ‘Yes’ is ‘Ticket for Titanic’ | Irish Indy
Lack of Accountability of Anonymous Spokesman | Boing Boing
Simon Hughes Riding Trucker | Crash Bang Wallace
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Gobby livens up the Brooks’ press conference:
“Have you had any messages of support from the Prime Minister?”
The last Quango in Paris says:
Mr Bryant and Mr Watson managing to make the whole hacking affair look like a farce – the more they moan the less I care about the whole subject! So partisan it beggars belief at all costs. They cannot rise above it ! If I was to call the PM a ‘liar’ I would want to be VERY sure.
This helicopter should be in Afghanistan but I get to use it as my personal taxi!
rubbish
most of them are – we usually only comment on the good one’s
to true mate – to true
This wretched man is is unworthy of a caption. Just sod off back to your hole.
Remember to sign the petition
http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/housekeeper/
now 317 signatures and 23rd position
over my cold deady body
G-the-P
you really are not following this are you? You say if “he” has stolen all that when the petition is about Baroness Scotland aka Patricia Scotland aka Patricia Mawhinney. Show everyone that you are in your own little bubble.
Perhaps that is you poking your bald head out of the plastic bubble in the caption??
G-The-P
See you don’t have to be such an asshole!!! Come on calm it down and get rid of the anger. Don’t you notice the MP’s of all parties get on and some are bestist of friends.
drop the crap and contribute without the insults… and using dead babies name in vain really is the pits… you really are upsetting people just for upsetting sake. It is not worthy of your passion for the politics of it all.
re – patricia scotland – it’s all a media witch hunt…much ado about nothing IMHO
306 – would your darling guido accept that proposition? Do you think he is a moral character? He is an antichrist.
No not a witch hunt… it is an investigative story that needs airing in public. She has broken laws and if Max Clifford is to be believed then what has been told thus far from a one sided account by Patricia Scotland aka Mawhinney, is all a pack of lies.
re 313….. Hey you must be mega pissed off that your posts keep on getting deleted. Why don’t you just say a BIG sorry for rattling everyone’s cages and say that you will moderate your own language tag names etc etc. Your views can and will be read and debated, one doesn’t have to agree with each other to have a good time on here. And that’s why we are doing it is it not?
Guido may be fine if you moderated yourself… come on try it.
HOW MANY tories resigned on principle from either Major or Thatcher’s regime ?
You underestimate the seething hatred that guido harboirs in his soul – he said as much on Television…he is a bitter man.
Lord Carrington for one
Jonathin Aitken for two (admitted he was guilty as sin!!)
324… as you are. so why put yourself through it?
Carington “yes” Aitken “NO” – not exactly barrowloads of them, eh?
agreed not barrel loads… but then that is the breed. Politics and politicians are all troughers as the expenses saga showed….. you are as passionate as the rest of us.
so drop the anger ..change your tag and let’s move on.
326 – fair comment. But his potential to wreak harm is greater than mine…May the Lord Have Mercy Upon his soul.
have you signed the petition yet?
332 – If I were to agree with you – would you spend the same energy telling the morons on here to stop their anit-scottish anti-disability rants against the Prime Minister ?
Better late than never: would Heseltine’s resignation count?
Look I am both Scottish and disabled. One needs a hard skin to survive what I have gone through.
Defending Gordon Brown for his ethnicity!! and his disability is admiral and very worthy of the passion you put into it. But the people on here just hate the principle that he has destroyed the economy and many people’s lives.
They are trying to show the hypocracy of his POLITICAL position. As I do.
Do you really think that the things people say on here are what they would ACTUALLY say him face to face.
Unfortunately GB is the architect of his own demise.
Defend the position but don’t take offence.
347 – no – he had to resign as the price of his failure to replace Thatcher…he had to resign in shame, NOT honour.
I thought it was some beef about helicopters: Mrs T wouldn’t do what he wanted so he spat his dummy. On a point of principle.
349… see you are debating without the anger… great… now change the tag please. It does not become you and your passion.
348 – with all due respect to your personal circumnstances – the Prime Minister is a public figure elected by the people….I lack the vocabulary to put it to you just how serious this is. Start reflecting…this is not a game. What did the tories do for you over eighteen years (or any other vulnerable individual).
Was their introduction of alco pops a good social move?
How many wrongly imprisioned peoel would still be langushing had a labour governemtn not won in 1997 ?
( I could go on)
Dont listen to the lies – READ THE UTILITARIAN PHILSOPHY that conservatism is founded upon for yourself – it is profoundly ANTI CHRISTIAN.
Death is a part of life – I do not subscribe to your superstitious hangups so I ask you to please respect my views and my freedom of expression, thank you.
change the tag and you may start to get a discussion going… but not on your current name or any that insults gratuitously …. up to you.
Anyway I have to go out now. speak to you later maybe.
350 – that was certainly part of it – but Herr Heseltine closed down the mines and condemned communites to unemployment and drug addicted children – anything BUT a man of principle. This tag I post under is dedicated to the memory of all those innocent children whom he murdered.
363 – thank you it was nice speaking to you. Good luck with your petition, you are entitled, of course, to your opinions/views it is just that I dont share them.
I hope you die. Then I hope the Tories sell off the cemetery you’re buried in so a concrete car park can be built over you.
F**k the Miners. F**k your “working-class” communities. F**k Nelson Mandela. F**k “public services”. F**k everything you stand for you socialist retard.
Vote Conservative.
Two captions:
1) Bubblehead
2) Scientists unveil transparent foreskin cover designed to stop embarrasing prick mishaps
Toff about to burst in expenses bubble
Government Quango finds water and missing helicopters on MOON. Shame the Americans didn’t find it the first time round.
Heseltine closed down the mines?
Anthony Wedgewood Benn as Wilson’s Secretary of State for Industry closed more mines than the Tories ever did. FACT.
Remember to sign the petition to get Baroness Scotland to resign or be sacked
http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/housekeeper/
Going slow but steady…. 395 signatures but now 20th on the list on page one.
She should be subject to the rule of Law not your mob justice petition.
I’ll not sign it.
481 – stop sniffing up my arse like a little lap dog
DOWN BOY
Phil….. you are misunderstanding the reason for the petition…. it is as a direct result of the PM’s (Bliar) desire to have direct access to the public’s wishes by indicating your vote the current PM will be able to react positively and quickly to the mood.
This is not a witch hunt only desire to see the rule of law enacted as the public really do desire.
Please sign the petition.
238 You Are One Sick Puppy ! GET HELP
No banging on the bubble.
To The Sick C*unt calling Himself The Late Ivan Cameron You Need To Seek Help Not Clever And Not Funny ! You FUCKING SAD C*NT !
Tiny nob doesn’t quite fill condom!
You’re a piece of shit, aren’t you? Go back to LabourList and die in a fire.
you wot luv ? – (that’s how we talk up here)
Your name is sick. I hope that your family never loose a child.
Agreed – you are a nasty piece of work using that name.
Not funny. Not clever.
Just stupid.
If it has taught just ONE person that a public figure is different from a private individual then I shall be content.
don’t be so thin-skinned
You’re a sick Hunt using that name. Fuck off back under your stone with the other lice.
URGH.
Tasteless, unfunny and sick.
Disgusting. Have some consideration for David Cameron’s family. As others have said, you really are sick.
OKAY, fine, I’ll consider his family – if he considers MINE and drops the plans to us 20.00 pounds to vist a GP
deeply unpleasant – you are indeed an ambassador for your party.
oh shucks, you don’t say
What goes around, comes around. Remember this… in a few years time.
Paedo Shits!
It’s all about COMPETENCE!
If the government were COMPETENT, if Gordoom was COMPETENT, if the MP’s were COMPETENT AND HONEST then nobody, except the rabid Tories would give a flying fuck!
Your new name is UGLY!
Labourlist is broken
REALLY BROKEN
I used your link to take a look
Dearie me and what the Dickens
The ultimate site for NOT exploring
I’ve seen plain wallpaper far less boring
Tedium defined, complete and utter
To browse it you’d have to be a nutter
So, Old Holborn, while I support your stance
I beg you never again risk the chance
Of sending normal folk to LabourList
Or like Guido we’ll all be getting miffed
Rhyme…scan…NOT. Give up, KKK, you’re no good at doggerel.
“Let’s just hope that the bubble doesn’t burst.”
Dear dead child, have you heard of glass houses? Are you such a sad,pathetic troll that you don’t realise CMD ain’t the only party leader to produce a child who didn’t make it?
I like bad taste as much as the next bloke but your behaviour is cowardly as well as appalling. You shock no-one but probably disappoint your parents. Let’s hope they make you a pageboy when they finally marry.
You little tit!!
leave a dead child to rip please.
You can fuck off an’ all
I suspect you are of limited intellect and this is the only way you can like command attention like the stupid naughty child at the back of the class being totally crass.
well said LonMus
Didya hear the one about the Muslim and the Irishman telling a noble Scot how to live his life? Funny, innit ?!
Please go and don’t bother me, yes – no ? – yes ? comprende ?
did you hear the one about the noble scot who spoke and wrote in English?
Clearly you’re pig-ignorant,vile,stupid and truly sick in the head.In short,you’re the definitive New Labour supporter.
oh dear oh dear oh dear G-The-P….. have you not not learnt anything from our fireside chat?
methinks you ought to return to a time when the Good old Nation wondered about whether they should or should not have sought to unite the British Isles by claiming that English throne..
jeez you must be so pissed off with James 1 or 6 or 1/6 (best beer going) for putting you in this position….. having to bad mouth everyone including the Tory’s
Further back those BLOODY vikings why the fuck did they have to invade and put all there genes into the pool…. that poor old pool that poor Ivan inherited… so there ypu have it Ivan and you are related. And you are USING the poor memory for political advantage…..shame on you.
hope you are well
Mum
Philistines R US
You, the one representing his views despicably under the name of an innocent dead child;
You are of no account to anything, anyone, anytime whatsoever, shove off.
The Iron man had developed an unsightly boil.
Why didn’t somebody just follow the simple printed instructions on the side of the helicopter?
That’d have got rid of the fucker.
New Conservative Government makes early start to rendition
Already started over here, at full pace.
Buzz lightyear to the stars and beyond
Labours new policy on listening to voters
you are a moron
Gordon is a moron
The Green Green Grass of Home – (Tom Jones)
go home idiot
go away
Secret glory hole found at the bunker
tell us more, pray do
I second that emotion
me too
my interest is piqued !!
Mine has peaked
Peaked?!
I’m afraid I may have just “arrived” in my snug fitting AussieBums!
c”,)
C*nt bubble
Damn your eyes, that’s exactly what I thought. Cnutbubble.
(so what does one say to the SnotGorbler – Damn your eye?)
Davies: “You’re sure it’s ok to stick my head out?”
Squaddie: “Absolutely, Sir”
In case of economic emergency, vote Conservative.
if you know it can’t get any worse – then just pray
do not steal my name.
thief.
no more warnings.
tat – I’ll haunt the bastard for you if you want
stop abusing the memory of dead children that is all I want from you.
moral indignation from a tory? there’s a first.
Fuck off you idiot.
Fuck off you wanker.
Well, well, well, DIRECT RULE for Scotland even if he gets NO MP’s here ???????
So who should be the one doing the fucking off ?
Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do
If ever you have kids you will remember these sad posts of yours with shame. But you will not understand until then.
Hey Ivan – that’s a really cool tag you’ve come up with! It must be great to be at the satirical leading edge. Are you doing it as some kind of thesis in Media Studies from London Metropolitan University (Deconstructing cultural memes in a sub hierarchical internet context)?
Or are you just so fucking stupid that even I begin to feel sorry for you?
God. the thrill of reading responses to your posts must have you coming in your pants a dozen times a day…….
What goes around comes around you arsehole. And it won’t be a day too soon.
Pull tab out, push panel in
In case of emergency pull Hunt out, push face in…
Cauis, wasn’t it?
WHAT a gaper . . .
Rank amateur
We are sending this goat into space to distract attention from the fact that British soldiers have died unnecessarily because Gordon Brown underfunded the Military’s helicopter budget to save a few quid.
Tory found in Metal Mickey prolapse. Not expected to survive.
Well.. this is a unique urinal.
Tiny man trapped in frog’s head
very good.
Yup – it’s all about Push and Pull
Innit ?
Pull tab out, push panel in, punch face repeatedly.
Plagiarism!
Much art is, in some way or other. But then I would say that I still listen to old oasis albums. And I was thinking along those lines.
However, I was most pleased to be reminded of this joke on HIGNFY when they said it about Derek Draper.
I know. You can hear Purcell’s Dido and Aeneas coming through in Snoop Dogg’s earlier work; Allegri’s Miserere in Ludakris’s ‘Move Bitch’
Sorry old chap – no plagiarism intended, I assure you.
No probs. I did it with ‘Hoon bubble’ further down the page.
I’d always wondered why a relatively obscure Australian word for an anti-social driver popped up with such frequency on these pages. Now, while I am no wiser, I am certainly better-informed.
Next victim being readied to be inserted up Browns arsehole to give him a spine…
living in a buBble:
I am looking forward to joining another party…which has just acquired a leader I have always greatly admired, who I believe is entirely straightforward, and who has a towering record, and a clear vision for the future of our country which I fully share.
Which one is that?
Don’t thrust so hard Gordon, don’t want to smudge the make-up.
**clap**
Sorry to hear that. Try antibiotics.
Tank engineer: “oh dear this tank has a large boil. It must be lanced. Bring me an RPG 7″
In 2009, during the row over MPs’ expenses, the Sunday Mirror alleged Mr Davies claimed £10,000 of taxpayers’ money for repairs to window frames at his “second home”
Politician moves into new bubble.
Dr Lecter appears contented in his new environment….
“Don’t worry – when Gordon’s scorched earth policy nukes what is left of the UK economy and the Labour Government is just a distant memory, I’ll be safe in here!”
Face like a slapped arse gains protection from further punishment…
Quisling captured and subjected to public humiliation…
Turncoat realises how badly things will turn out when society breaks down, the looters hit the streets, bread is the currency and guns are the law…
Quentin anticipates public reaction to being the stool pigeon who squealed to New Labour and precipitated the disintegration of the UK economy…
Being in Politics is like living in a goldfish bowl
Bowel shurley
Or floater found in goldfish bowl.
Ex Tory ship jumper realises NUliebour Bubble has burst, takes to the sky to look for new safe seat.
Toad in a hole
Turd, surely
Hunt bubble.
Quentin asked the pilot to hover over the school playground while he “massaged” himself.
OUCH !!
Gordon, I can see your second home from up here!
Sergeant, there’s a man buying his own boots. Stop him!
“Ha ha !! You stupid fuckers out there are all going to be raped, looted and pillaged while I squirrelled away my allowances to built a ‘Bond Baddie Bunker’ that will shelter me in nuclear powered cosiness for a THOUSAND YEARS !!”
[evil cackle...]
Sorry, Anon. Although your comment is superb and made me laugh out loud, that particular ‘Bond baddie bunker’ does not resemble a volcano with a sliding roof in any form whatsoever.
“Peter Mandleson is right behind me”
You’ll come to a sticky end!
Well, having to seek refuge from the revolting peasants is a bugger, but at least being in a sauna with a bevy of semi-clad lovelies has its compensations…
Mr Davies delighted the Women and Toddlers Group by putting a condom over his head and blowing through his nose until it had quite engulfed his entire body.
Should read
Pull tab out, fill face in
What’s that Government Minister doing in Teletubby land?
He is the 5th Tellytubby, Poo.
Durex launches surreal advertising campaign showing why their products should be used.
BIG BROTHER REPLACEMENT…
Instead of looking IN on a bunch of selfish ignorant twats whose society breaks down into fighting over food and violent tantrums over 70 days, Big Quentin will roam around the country in his ‘sealed from the outside world’ capsule looking OUT at a bunch of selfish ignorant twats whose society breaks down…..
Durex have revealed their latest brand of condoms and demonstrated how to put a knob in it.
now that made me laugh
++Claps++
+5
National debt to infinity, and beyond…
Buzz Lightweight
Beat me to it Bill, he does look like a Buzz Lightweight lolz.
So this is where the Oaten bucket ended up.
Thanks. Can I have it….?
Moonshot postponed while crap is removed from screen.
Durex – we fit all kinds of pricks.
LPicture taken moments before Mr Davis realised that the squaddies had put him on a boil-wash.
lol
‘Baaa!’
This washing machine only has a spin cycle
I like.
Good.
like that one alot.
or….
you can’t re wash johnies
“With my intelligence and unerring prescience you can rely on my always to find the ‘safest port in a storm’ !! ”
Sorry, but this is no time for false modesty – just send me the t-shirt now, GF..
Bores to automatic, cross check
Are you sure I will be safe from snipers,don’t worry sir mug will scare them off.
Lib Dems ‘character’ fridge magnets spark copy-cat Labour ‘character’ paperweights.
“Excellent. Good solid glazing. Can’t hear those damn journos swarking.”
World’s largest Snow Globe just prior to a good shaking.
washing machine eats mp,country has party to celebrate
Neo walks right on past this potential recruit from The Matrix.
Are you sure this is my estate squadron leader?
It looks awfully barren and hot and rocky. I’m pretty sure my labourers don’t wear turbans.
fingers being drawn across the throat is the traditional welcome for worthies such as yourself, sir.
sounds like an excuse. “I didnt notice the turbans and I’m sure I photocopied their passports”
OT Guido you must get a clip of this:
BBC news 24 have just shown Brown being blatantly snubbed by Obama.
All the leaders were getting ready for a group photo and Brown frantically tried to usher Obama in to a space he had reserved right next to him. Obama completely blanked Brown and walked right past him and stood elsewhere.
Brown was left looking pathetic.
No doubt saying Hey Barack I’ve bagged you a place. Twat.
I still think he should get a BMX and ride up and down outside O’Bama’s room doing wheelies.
‘Look Omaha – no hands….’
That’s bound to impress him.
A remake of the ‘Shining’?
If he isn’t careful Obama is going to start looking like a petulant little tosser…
Depends if he wants to be a world statesman or a typical Merkin president…
No, Bob, I don’t think they can see what you’re doing, but please hurry up nonetheless.
Tit head inside big plastic tit.
It brings a whole new meaning to, live target practice.
Dr Evil prepares to focus the glare from Mr Philips head and destroy another communications satellite.
Quentin’s submarine trip round the coral reef viewing the tropical fish was very enjoyable, until his ‘defence cuts’ meant that the procurement of the staff to get him back to the surface had been ‘unavoidably delayed’…
ok, but too wordy
I liked it . Be good for a weird movie
You should have seen the original !! [Well, I am Welsh.....]
Still we can all dream about Quentin being stuck in a submarine on the bottom of the ocean..
fucking hell Prescott can’t you get rid of your trapped wind before you get in the helicopter
Gordon prepares to launch another rounded Baronet into a square hole.
CRYOGENICS: The Nightmare.
Blaaaaaahahahahahaa!!!
I’ll say it again, excellent
*Doffs hat*
Nope. Gordon’s not in here either.
Very good.
New contraceptive, ” transparent diaphragm ” so you can see the c*nt who’s fucking you.
Army decides to improve sniper accuracy by providing incentives for live firing target practice…
How to stop the spread of swine flu!
Look, I’m on Spin cycle
Hunt bubble
Oooh! Didn’t know there was a word filter on the word cnut.
A chap lives and learns!
spunk bubble more like
The fabled Westminster bubble is revealed.
sorry startledcod – I have just seen your entry and mine is no more than a variation on the same theme.
Kraft – EXCELLENT!
Another war tourist prepares for his turn in the ‘panorama view’ missile.
One helicopter to another, “do your boils contain poisonous bags of puss too?”
good!
I’m so glad I joined the Labour Party. Look how wisely we’ve spent taxes; this helicopter was flying before Gordon Brown was even in Parliament and we’ve kept it going! We can so much, the army’s other helicopter has even been caibalised for spare parts.
No more boom and bust: it’s just a downward looking bubble.
Defector pleads for escape route after Army imprisons the Warmonger’s supporters.
It’s been Doom and Bust, what a Legacy
Corporal: OK lads, switch the microwave on.
MPs live in their own Bubble
Two Tits and a chopper.
Monsanto announce they have cloned human inside a giant piece of frog-spawn.
Piiiiiiiiigs … iiiiiin … spaaaaaaaaaace!
vg
hurd I hoot a rick de hoot , skid e do eh skid e do it was nae me , hurd hurd ick ver voit voit voit
A pair of soiled underpants in the door of the Zanussi.
So what bit of land is it that we took on Tuesday, gave back to the dickers on wednesday, and are planning to take back on Sunday,?
All of it you Fucking Hoon
I hear that Gordon Brown’s a right Hunt
The subterfuge of Quentin’s ‘cunning plan’ to sneak back into the Tory party un-noticed was based on the ‘Trojan Horse’…
Geological discovery of the millenium finds man in dinosaur’s placenta – completely destroys theory of evolution.
After water is found on the moon davies rejects suggestions the brish space agency is underfunded
Russians show off the first monkey to travel into space.
hes called Chimpinski
mumble bumble flah….LOVELY YOUNG LADY…burble flurble…DANCE WITH ME……flurgh murgh….BARONESS AND A TONGAN……Of course I was Very Very Drunk
Government Minister tries out Arse licking simulator.
LOL Pull hard on the collection stick !!
Labour unveil their new election battle bus
probebly will need a gattling gun attached when hes on tour
Many a true word spoken in jest !!
The great leader has told me hes going to parachute me into a safe seat , i think he said it was near Helmand
or
on lower left hand side there are some instructions just want ammending to insert the word “kick in”
There was nothing Quentin liked better than peeking into the female squaddies changing room…
Quentin Davies looks for the Golden Rivet.
“I say, is this Eric’s Love Bomber?”
“I say, is this Eric’s Love Bomber?”
QD — “Take me to your leader…”
Earthling – “certainly sir, which one and on which side?”
do you think l’m going a bit overboard with this swine flu thing?
Eh, I know that face, it’s Fatty Arbuckle down our street, he always thought he were a cut above everyone else.
This is a extraordinarily incompetent, imprudent and extraordinarily naïve machine which nevertheless I feel is entirely straightforward, with a towering record, and a clear vision for the future of our country which I fully share
Quentin unveils new tank…
“This new piece of kit is shock-proof, bomb-proof, armour-plated and bullet-proof. Sadly this is still not strong enough to protect me against the wrath of the Tories I shat on royally, so it will parked next to the non-flying Chinooks..”
Or:
I only asked who won last weeks capcomp and I ended up shrinkwrapped…..
This is no mere bald patch. It’s a solar panel for a sex machine.
“Pull tab and push twat out!
The north sea woulld be good
Tail-End Quentin always fancied being a ‘rear-gunner’..
Gordon sends Quentin on bend over course.
final proof that terry thomas did not suffer from air sickness
Man gets condom stuck on head
Bloody hell, that new goldfish leaves behind some massive turds.
Nobody told Mr Philips that the ejector seat demonstration would fire him through the blades.
Quentin contemplates a new career in a Kinder Surprise egg…
Tossed salad served in glass bowl
Welcome to National Lottery Live !!!
See which policies Quentin pulls out of the Random Rollerballer to form his new personal manifesto !!!
And if you don’t like them, there’ll be a roll-over for some new ones next week !!
And don’t forget the Principle Bonus Ball !! A new one picked every week !!
“And with the new nanotechnology non-stick coating, the shit and vitriol wipes clean off !! Transparency at a stroke !! “
O/T
Did anyone see the Boy Milliband wetting himself with joy when shaking hands with Omaha. Thats got to be worth a clip – to go with the banana one.
Was hillarious, his face looked like he was the cat that got the cream “Aren’t I good, I got to shake hands with the Prez”.
Was nearly as annoying as watching Broon follow the Prez around like he was a lapdog.
Did he have his toungue out?
Were his ears pricked?
Was he wagging his tail?
Were his flies undone?
You could see Obama thinking, “Who the fuck was that? Why are they letting interns onto the floor of the General Assembly?”
Max Clifford on Sky has just said that according to his clients what has been said previously etc etc is totally untrue and incorrect. Prepare for stories in the Sundays
Oooo errr
!
Yippeeeee – what fun they’ll have in Sheffield.
Dickhead inside Giant Condom
I can see my duck house from up here.
Hope Mark Oaten won’t shit on this glass topped helichopper!
No Quentin, if you’re going to pleasure the ladies you’re supposed to put it on your dick, not stretch it over your head.
“I’m the Urbanite Spaceman”
Urbane?
of a “Space Cowboy”
How to meet your MP, whilst avoiding contamination.
Yes !
“Well I’ve got a helicopter…”
Gosh, this is a bit of a caption ‘purple patch’ reminiscent of the ‘three-in-a-row’ bonus on Brain of Britain [or whatever Robert Robinson calls it these days...]
Relieved minister catches the last helicopter out of Gordon’s Saigon nightmare.
Bang on the button !!!
‘Ready for the next spin cycle?’
“That glass was flat before I started pounding the bitch.”
‘Hot Air politician burps’
“and this is what we got Gordon for his leaving present – a padded cell on the International Space Station”
Semantics for Year 7:
Q4. Discuss: – do you see a window in a chopper or a chopper in the window?
How’s about this for a condom … ?
Hattie Hormone forces Quentin Davies to wash his dirty laundry from inside the House of Commons washing machine
Roll up, roll up, all aboard now for the Ceausescu Special. Departing imminently from the roof of 10 Downing Street, one way trip to a brick wall.
Davies – gosh, from up here people look just like ants!
Photographer – they are ants you hoon, you’re still on the ground.
No,no,no it’s..
‘Gosh, look at all the little people down, quietly going about the little lives, absolutely oblivious to us up here’
‘We haven’t taken of yet, Sir’
‘I know, I know’
Davies agrees to look out for Taleban snipers.
Brown apologises for harsh treatment of tax-avoiders last Century.
Max Wall photographed looking uncharacteristically cheerful.
To Infinity and Beyond!!!!!!!
Answerig the question ” So Davies, what is Brown’s aim with the national debt?”
Or: “Hello, I’m your local MP and I’m here in Grantham today to listen to your concerns…..”
I would get out and shake hands but i seem to have misplaced my pants.
The long awaited release of Jarhead 2 delayed by budget cuts
And you’re quite sure noone from Grantham will be able to reach me here?
“And I duly declare the expenses for this submarine are wholly within the rules as it is essential for the maintainence of ones’ duck island.”
Very good.
OT Why the fuck is Gordon standing so close to Obama? His Mug is ruining Obama’s address
Hope he’s done his tie up today – scruff is his middle name.
Gordon’s UN antics are reminding me of a Monty Python sketch… wasn’t there one called Spot the Loonie?
And the answer is still the same: “They’re all bloody loonies!”
Todays story is through the….? Round window.
It’s worth remember Quentin Davies Letter of Resignation from the Conservatives on 26 June 2007
“Believing that as I do, I clearly cannot honestly remain in the Party. I do not intend to leave public life. On the contrary I am looking forward to joining another party with which I have found increasingly I am naturally in agreement and which has just acquired a leader I have always greatly admired, who I believe is entirely straightforward, and who has a towering record, and a clear vision for the future of our country which I fully share ”
Good bye Quentin.Hand in the parking pass on the way out the door.
I expect he invested heavily in bank shares at the same time.
The same Quentin Davies who two years earlier described Gordon Brown as “extraordinarily incompetent”, “imprudent”, “extraordinarily naïve” and said in conclusion “I trust and believe that something nasty will happen to the Chancellor in electoral terms before too long. He will have no one but himself to blame
You could have some respect for the bloke if he had written that letter and resigned his seat then said that he intended to seek re-election either as an Independent or a Labour candidate rather than just “cross the floor”.He just might actually have even scraped back in as an Independent but as a Labour candidate in Grantham he’s got no chance at all particularly in view of the acrimonious way he left the Conservative Party and how he has allowed himself to be used by Labour since.
Which of his two opinions do we find more convincing….?
Oh bugger, here comes that dammed Guido fellow armed with his Kodak Instamatic.
Nwe guidance system installed,glasses not supplied.
British Troops in Helmand to be equipped with IED proof washing machines.
Hello to all soldiers of Britain! Now what bar do you think I had to work at to get this lovely piece of machinery?
It was in fact the Commons subsidised bar! To be fair I didn’t actually have to do much work, I merely filled out my expenses claim form but let’s not split hairs!
Tally Ho!
Tit in a tit.
Where’s bullshit bob?
http://www.michaelyon-online.com/bullshit-bob.htm
Hats off to Michael Yon. I’ve been following him for sometime.
I am not at all surprised at the dishonesty of the British media ops in Helmand working to bob’aintbustingut’s instructions. They are going to try and silence any voice that highlights the need for more equipment or tells that we are losing the war.As we’ve found out they’ll tell any lie to prevent the public finding out the truth.
So they’ve stopped Michael Yon being embedded with British troopsin order to shut him up. Except he’s made of sterner stuff and has arranged to be embedded with the Yanks so that he can keep reporting the war from the frontline.
Michael Yon is right. bob’ainbustinagut’ has our troops blood on his hands. So does gordon. And they don’t want us to know that our troops are fighting a losing battle.
QD: Afghanistan! How stark, desolate and war-ravaged it is.
Pilot: Sorry, sir. We haven’t taken off yet. We’re still in Grantham.
C.unt bubble
I have found a code in here (not too hard for nybody wih normal IQ) and it has fascinated me. I share it with you.
Take this guido with all my best – post the answer you get for the rest. cheers. ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Sed sed sapien risus, non interdum justo. Donec in dui id elit vestibulum euismod. Maecenas sollicitudin, leo ut sollicitudin pharetra, nunc tellus aliquam lectus, ac aliquam neque lectus et sapien. Donec vitae consectetur leo. Vestibulum ante ipsum primis in faucibus orci luctus et ultrices posuere cubilia Curae; In ac lacus in lectus elementum lobortis. Vestibulum velit lacus, adipiscing vitae pulvinar ut, elementum eget turpis. Vestibulum ante ipsum primis in faucibus orci luctus et ultrices posuere cubilia Curae; Vestibulum ante ipsum primis in faucibus orci luctus et ultrices posuere cubilia Curae; Sed arcu augue, euismod eget tempus vitae, vehicula quis diam. Ut scelerisque metus quis enim imperdiet at dapibus mauris hendrerit. Curabitur lobortis molestie blandit. Curabitur aliquam, risus non sollicitudin dignissim, libero justo fringilla libero, quis sodales odio mi et ante.
Donec ac urna enim. Ut adipiscing venenatis purus at adipiscing. Aenean vel orci nec lorem adipiscing pulvinar sagittis at dolor. Curabitur vitae volutpat erat. Nullam mollis mattis luctus. Proin ut sapien lorem, eu mollis sem. Sed quam quam, egestas a laoreet vel, blandit at massa. Suspendisse lobortis facilisis dolor, et porta dui elementum quis. Praesent vel nisi velit. Praesent eget lorem arcu, at mattis lorem. Curabitur dapibus dui dictum ante imperdiet vitae luctus sapien euismod. Maecenas ligula metus, consectetur in semper sed, pulvinar ultrices diam. Nulla sodales mollis eros quis rhoncus. Aliquam tincidunt, mauris sit amet lobortis commodo, erat est porta urna, eget dapibus est mauris ut mauris. Nullam vehicula condimentum purus nec commodo. Praesent orci est, blandit vel sagittis nec, eleifend a quam. Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas. Donec iaculis, sapien vel rhoncus lacinia, arcu ante sollicitudin lectus, nec consequat magna sapien vestibulum sem. Cras luctus volutpat quam, id luctus velit faucibus nec. Morbi pulvinar orci in nisi feugiat eget congue odio volutpat.
Quisque at odio sit amet ligula convallis consectetur eu ut diam. Aenean iaculis erat sed lectus sodales lobortis tincidunt velit laoreet. Maecenas ac malesuada magna. Sed tortor quam, semper id vulputate in, fringilla vel lacus. Nunc elit diam, condimentum non feugiat sit amet, vestibulum id nisl. Duis sed dolor id nisl blandit vulputate. Mauris risus nulla, dictum eget sagittis ac, mattis vitae massa. Aenean fermentum molestie nibh id lobortis. Fusce tempor, justo sed pellentesque sagittis, tortor purus dictum nibh, ac porta est eros vitae tellus. Mauris eget ante vel lectus tristique ornare in id nibh. Nulla facilisi. Donec ultricies purus id lorem hendrerit pulvinar. Aliquam eget dolor nec velit semper tempus. Nulla consequat pellentesque arcu, varius scelerisque nunc ultrices eu. Maecenas a lorem vel neque malesuada blandit. Nulla pulvinar fringilla dignissim. Donec quis pretium lacus. Sed tristique posuere risus, sed fringilla augue congue et.
Donec pretium dolor semper nisi pharetra ac aliquam eros feugiat. Suspendisse eu eros magna. Praesent interdum est vel diam commodo vehicula. In varius lorem id libero luctus condimentum. In sodales, enim eget ornare pretium, massa velit elementum lectus, consequat aliquam magna massa eget metus. In hac habitasse platea dictumst. Quisque aliquam molestie est, id ultricies mi rutrum vel. Vivamus nisi ante, lacinia sit amet aliquet nec, hendrerit eget dolor. Integer iaculis purus non mi tristique a ultrices elit vulputate. Suspendisse aliquam porttitor lacus, dignissim dignissim orci rhoncus ut. Etiam faucibus, tellus sit amet feugiat porttitor, dolor nulla tincidunt massa, at sagittis odio odio quis diam. Etiam ut risus sit amet nibh pretium fringilla vel ut eros. Vivamus ut dolor vitae tortor placerat convallis quis sed augue. In hac habitasse platea dictumst. Nullam turpis felis, porttitor ac faucibus ut, sagittis feugiat est. Vivamus tristique leo at ipsum mollis volutpat. Aliquam erat volutpat. Curabitur vestibulum purus quis tortor eleifend non molestie sapien mattis. Nulla facilisi. Aliquam sagittis facilisis turpis, consectetur tincidunt orci gravida id.
Sed ac neque felis, sed luctus nibh. Nullam bibendum, elit vitae rhoncus egestas, nisl dui laoreet dolor, at aliquam metus mauris nec est. Nam at molestie elit. Duis pharetra massa quam. Pellentesque vitae odio sem, nec hendrerit enim. Proin semper venenatis pulvinar. Curabitur dictum, tellus sed vehicula porttitor, purus nulla dignissim erat, non volutpat massa erat a purus. Quisque ac lacus eget arcu aliquet venenatis. Mauris aliquam, nibh ut tristique mollis, sapien eros luctus ante, et aliquam ligula mi et dolor. Nullam ac purus ipsum, eu pharetra est. Aliquam consequat turpis vel enim varius pellentesque ultrices arcu aliquam. In semper, nisl sit amet tincidunt congue, mauris augue lacinia neque, at dictum tellus neque id mauris. Vivamus lorem tellus, tincidunt in placerat eu, ultricies vel libero. Donec sollicitudin enim blandit tellus mollis ultrices.
Curabitur ornare ultrices ligula a condimentum. Aliquam eget quam nec risus mollis pharetra. Integer nulla enim, facilisis ac cursus quis, vehicula et velit. Mauris vitae mauris sed dolor rutrum tempus id in mauris. Fusce dictum facilisis ipsum, at placerat ante venenatis eget. Donec odio quam, eleifend vitae congue et, venenatis a ipsum. Pellentesque ut libero in lorem ullamcorper placerat. Nam vel nunc sit amet justo pretium ullamcorper at quis ipsum. Integer faucibus sodales luctus. Vivamus augue velit, aliquam ut ornare at, condimentum at risus. Praesent in sem velit. Pellentesque egestas enim ut nunc luctus sit amet egestas purus iaculis. Pellentesque sed ante ac leo tincidunt tincidunt. Vestibulum dictum velit vitae mi mollis imperdiet. Donec eget felis nibh. Praesent ac sapien ligula, vitae porttitor velit. Nullam scelerisque elementum risus, et consequat justo tincidunt eu. Pellentesque elementum commodo nisl accumsan ornare. Aliquam eros neque, blandit nec imperdiet vitae, tincidunt dapibus metus.
Donec a ante eget dui lacinia tempor. Integer mollis nisl ut justo scelerisque semper. Pellentesque justo ante, bibendum sit amet auctor non, luctus ac velit. Curabitur dapibus dignissim nunc eget luctus. Nullam cursus ligula non dolor molestie a luctus felis congue. Fusce dapibus dolor a enim pellentesque porttitor. Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia nostra, per inceptos himenaeos. Maecenas vitae tristique libero. Fusce nec leo vitae elit blandit semper non dapibus nunc. Sed pulvinar varius dolor et dictum. Vivamus lacinia euismod eros sed molestie. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis.
Sorry I don’t speak French.
neither does he
Or latin as the case may be
not latin. Some latin words but most of it is made up. Load of bollocks.
The Pope is visiting next year – you’ll be able to tell him all about it.
If I get chemically castrated will I understand it ?
Nec nihil bastardo carborundum.
I don’t think bastardo is correct. Illegitimi surely? Or the actual Latin ‘nothus’.
Gordo Ite Domum
Domum regite o Gordanum.
It’s nonsense. It’s the filler printers sometimes use.
One can generate ones own babbling nonsense here: http://www.lipsum.com/
No,it’s Latin American.
That’s the winner for the caption competition.
It’s CW’s spellchecker gone nuts.
It even missed ‘Caesar’. I’d demand my money back.
Podex perfectus es. (You’ve hit the nail on the head).
Its all Greek to me.
This is only a wild guess but could it be Prescott’s acceptance speech in the unlikely event that he takes over from Gordon?
not me ime afraid , I have a follower ?? very interesting , as far as i can tell it doesnt read properly , I accpet though it does contain some impressive latin words . curious, one for cranmer I think .
lets see if my soundy i likee will furnish some more clues , perhaps he/she would like to confirm wether it is ancient latin ?
Damien Hurst is clearly a magnificent bastard.
The Westminster bubble gives one a completely different perspextive on life.
“You idiots! Have you forgotten you’re supposed to crop out the goldfish bowl so I look normal. Now those conspiracists are going to think I’m an Alien Grey. MANDY!….”
Test tube turncoat experiment complete success!
Anyone seen my expenses form ?
twat in a box
Quentin peers out of Mervyn King’s stable economy observation window
Whose a pretty boy then Mr Crisp?
Mum sues Cadbury over strange creature found in fruit and nut Bar.
And NO I won’t let them take off with me on board-I know the true figures!!!!!!
Hooray. Mr Obama is going to allow Gordon an photo opportunity. Deep joy. Should help him to secure a fourth term no end. Sadly I have to rod the drains and will miss it.
It is quite pathetic how brown tags on to his coatails, like a little boy trying to get at the sweetie jar; statesman he is not, grey haired, tired looking old man he is.
I hate to say it though… the Iranians have given McDoom a chance to actually shine and have his statesman like photo op.
He still looked a mess though… and, of course,he still has to go and soon…. and and etc etc
Yes, what a coincidence. Iran jiggery pokery discovered as an international conference is in progress. This sort of thing is very rare.
Sir Reg I think you are well and truely right. Nothing happens by chance in these troughing spinners world. I was listening to the live broadcast of the speeches and just before it kicked off the Beeb reported that the western powers knew of the Iranian plant for some time and were telling the International Atomic Energy Agency what they knew.
So, with the conference planned and the Geneva talks scheduled it was a ripe time to ramp up the hard talk and show statesman like qualities.
They are all at it. hypocrites!!!
To be fair, I expect he’s been trying to tell Obama about the Iranian’s 2nd enrichment plant all week,
Obama goes “yeah, yeah… nice try Gordon, but you’re not getting the chance to nuke Iran as an excuse to postpone your General Election, we’ve heard that one before.”
Yes its going to be with Bo the “First Dog”, Bo ain’t too pleased, he can smell a wrong ‘un a mile off.
When Obama picks the team for the new G20 world bank regulator will he pick Gordon?
Or will he be like the fat kid who keeps raising his hand and bursting out with “OOHH. OHHHH . Pick me. Pick me.” who remains in an ever dwindling pool of the sick, the uncoordinated and the unpopular.
Government Minister Analised In Helicopter!
Browns bubble finally looks about to burst
Does my head look big in this?
‘With Labour putting the whole Country underwater,only a select few could afford a place in the viewer’s gallery’
Gordon gets Quentin to test out the new pope mobile before his holiness visits next year
Bubble scum
Yo!
He’s certainly very Wrigley
Extra baggage the army don’t need when going to sandy places will be dumped in the English Channel.
Quentin has problems deciding what to do,talk to snotty or hitch a lift to sandy placces
QD: “There’s hactually not one of us in the Government who hactually gives a fuck about any of you lot.”
See we do have helicopters, we weren’t lying. It’s just that gordon doesn’t want them to get damaged in Afghanistan. They’re too expensive to repair.
In case of fire:
break glass
slap Hoon
Arbeit macht frei
I said “A good tonguing“.
Never going to use that agency again. And neither is my husband.
“If Gordon hadn’t blamed America we’d have a fucking engine for it”
mc mental is lying to the “world” now live on BBC
Badger will be upset he used the 1/2 million jobs line
(BTW he also said 10m jobs have been saved globally)
what a tw@t
He has used the G20 to slag the tories – pathetic
The zit on the side of a helicopter…
Does my head look big in this?
oops….great minds axe…..sorry
Cannon fodder that actually deserves to be in theatre
Perv shows off new high viz ‘dutch cap’
“I’ll have some window-frames like this for my duck house.”
You haven’t had sex, you’ve been ten-pin bowling.
MP who forgot to put a plasma tv screen on his expenses,looks to sell old 405 line tv.
MP, moonlighting as helecopter pilot to help with meagre salary, waits for Duke of York.
“I wonder what it’s like to be sucked out at 30,000 feet? Gordon, are you busy?”
Gordon’s a Presbyterian.He might not be interested in the Mile High Club.
If we had bought the software, this thing could fly
unfortunately not the ‘last wanker’ in the ‘last wanker compound’ at the new westminster zoo
Piece of faecal matter fails to be properly ejected from aerial toilet.
I was told you could see Prince Philip from up here
Hoonic MP asked if this could be replaced with rose tinted variant.
it certainly makes the cock look bigger.
someone must have said that already, right?
I don’t think Bonjela will get rid of that ulcer..
MP settles into his new parliamentary accomodation.
Gosh, being a soldier must be such FUN!
I am the man with the big ‘chopper’.
I have everything,especially a shed full of firewood.
“Oops! I’ve just defected in my pants!”
You too?
Its my nerves, you know.
Shurely etc?
“I know they need helicopters in Afghanistan but just how would I get to my second home early on a Thursday night without it? It is a question of national prioritys”
A typical shitty, lying MP tries out new high tech magnifying device being used to make ‘airfix’ kits look like real helecopters and thus hopefully frighten the taliban.
Future exhibit in British Museum: A Labour MP
Hopefully soon to be maximus extinctus circa 1997-2010
OR: “Thunderbird 2 – Gordon is in trouble – prepare to eject The Hood in seconds five, four, three…..”
They’ve told me that if anything does go wrong I just have to press the little red button and the ejector seat will take care of me.
“Pull tab and kick face in”
claps & smirks
Politican looks at new fixed condom window on helicopters and declares it is only safe if a woman has a large arse and long legs.
Shame, large arse and short fat legs would have worked for the AG
I simply cannot be arsed to enter this caption contest.
I do not have a clue. Who is the guy peeping out of the helicopter window? Would someone enlighten me please?
A despicable turncoat who would make even Judas Iscariot blush
Quentin Crisp
Quentin Davies MP for Stamford and Grantham, formerly conservative – crossed to labour as gordon took over as PM. Also minister for supplies and support with the mod. He’s only marginally less obnoxious and incompetent than bob ‘aintbustinagut’
No he’s not. He’s worse – he’s a smug two-faced windbag who told me on the night Cameron was elected leader, yes elected, that Dave was a great man and would lead the Conservative revival. 2 years later he had become the second rat to join a sinking ship after snotgobbler Woodward.
” I have admired nick clegg for some time and he is a leader I feel I could…..
Funny
What’s QTs majority
Whoops – one more time – What’s – QDs majority?
7445.
http://www.theyworkforyou.com/mp/quentin_davies/grantham_and_stamford
But Grantham and Stamford are tory country – he won it as a tory and then changed sides to labour. Think this blue constituency is going to vote for him next time around , what with the likely swing and all ???
Methinks Mr Davies will soon be out of a job.
Who was the sicko who thought up that url: theyworkforyou.com
That is a step to far in rubbing salt etc. etc.
QD: Listen, Ainsworth, you ghastly little pleb, it’s not “elicoptah”, it’s “hell-ee-copt-err”. Now repeat after me…
Nice one, A38. That’s just what the pompous fat old toff is like.
That’s it…….smile……say cheese….quick pass the rpg
Davis uses the liar sized condom applicator to become a(nother) Liebore Dickhead.
Toff this one out over the Atlantic said the pilot, he could not pronounce his “s’s” properly.
This bubble was bought on credit
This is a photograph we exclusively obtained, taken moments before the toxic gas was pumped into the fuselage.
I would also work well in the House of Commons
Recognizing it’s just a varient on several already posted,
“Pull tab out, punch face in”
is nice and tidy. Or perhaps
“Warning: Objects in bubble are even more useless than they appear”
Or on looking again at his fat smiling face, maybe
“Warning: Objects in bubble are even smugger than they appear”
might be the way to go.
Mandy said, be sure to try out the ejaculator seat but be carefull it does not go off prematurely
Goldfish has recurring nightmare.
Now available in all good stores. Off the shelf Labour candidates; fully poseable with interchangeable loyalties and completed expenses forms.
But are they house trained?
Only in duck houses apparently…
OT, but can I just say I hate the BBC with a passion.
I am glad I dont pay the TV Tax.
Bastards.
Me too!
Fully share your views (of course).
It may warm the cockles of your hearts to check this link below. See under ‘Authorities and bodies to be abolished’ -
http://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Great_Repeal_Bill#Constitutional_deregulation
Did anyone see brown making sure he was in camera shot as obama was speaking at a news conferance
No but just thinking about it makes me feel sick.
He even got his 5 minutes of fame talking tough to Iran whilst Obama looked on “admiringly” in the background as Gordon too centre stage for TV consumption in the UK. They’ll be excitement in “the Bunker” tonight the “Special Relationship” is seemingly back on after Obama has told Gordon that he is still his “Best Pal” after all
Yeah, I especially nearly threw up laughing when Obama placed his hand on Psycholops’ shoulder as they walked away. So clearly arranged to quash the ‘snub’ rumours. I hope Obama washed his hands thoroughly afterwards. The risk of infection and all that.
Omaha’s people probably order in a lorry-load of Marigolds every time Snottie turns up.
Twice as close to the prez as Sarko. Stage managed? Close enough for the delicate yet unmistakable perfume of stale urine and BO to stealthily assail Obama’s delicate bugle.
Everything he does is just so fucking gay, no wonder everybody thinks he’s a Bertie.
My daugther does’nt believe me, can we have the truth please.
Shades of Benny Hill, Fred Scuttle.
“Ooo-err missus, I’ve an ugly a wart on the side of me chopper! No! no! titter ye not!
You being a Toad and all its quite normal for you to have ugly warts everywhere, don’t let this damage your self esteem, Mrs Toad wont mind about your chopper, we have to take life as it comes warts and all.
I imagine Scotland resigned this morning but everyone at BBC/Sky is too busy to eport it what with Obama/Sarkozy, and oh er Brown, reading out to teacher what they knew months ago, and what the Iranians fessed up to in a letter days ago.
Like a good comedy, it is all to do with timing darling!
Naw she’s still at her desk just tidying up – well now she’s lost her cleaner someone has to do it but she’ll be gone by Sunday lunch after the “News of the Screws” article.
MPs to use the “McBroon Magnification Technique” to detect green shoots of recovery
…set to Gas Mark 6 (200C) and leave for 1hr 40mins
Sorry you need 30 mins at Gas Mark 8 then Gas Mark 6 for 20 mins per pound for “Fat Bastards”.Don’t forget to turn up the gas to mark 7 for the final 30 mins for a really golden crispy skin basting every 5 mins
Sorry sorry you need to scrub hard first with a wire brush to get the ingrained dirt off and then beat to a bloody pulp to bring the colour up before marinading for at least 3 weeks in a bath of hot chili oil and very strong vinegar and pricking regularly to let the fermenting gases out and not forgetting to skim the bath regularly to remove the somewhat unpleasant scum that forms at the surface and only then can you consider whether your Fat Bastard is ripe for the gas oven but only if you want the cajan flavour, if you want the extra flavoured curried version (and who wouldn’t after all this is the country that invented chicken masala) then there is quite a bit more work you have to do first and then if you really after the ultimate gourmand experience you will have to do a preliminary spit roasting
As even the Fattest Bastard contains a fair amount of bone and gristle, expecially in the area of the head, I would add the use of a giant duck press to extract all the juices and marrow. Alternatively one could just use the giant duck press on the live subject.
Sorry sorry sorry before any of that and it’s all excellent advice you have to hang your fat bastard first and bleed him properly although you probably won’t want to keep the blood for black pudding as it’s far to septic for human consumption and then remove the guts and the dead-mans-fingers although again you won’t to retain these for sausages on account of the infestation with worms causing multiple ulcerations and holes and then you have to quarter the bastard and truss him good and proper although he’s not going to get away in his condition not now but you don’t want the local strays of the foxes getting at him first and then hang him again in a cool cellar or under a road bridge which is just as good if you don’t have a cellar for oh several weeks for the flavour to develop fully and after all if you’re going to all this trouble over a fat bastard you really ought to go the whole hog and I always do as it’s really worth the while and allows lots of time to consider the wine selection not necessarily Margaux but if in doubt check the vintage since any old bulls bollocks table wine in a good vintage is going to go down better than a Lafitte in a bad year and you can also save lots of money to buy more plonk at that fat fuck Jamie fucking Oliver’s favourite supermarket if that’s what you like but I’m getting off topic and over excited with cooking these fat bastards now they’re in season now so to finish with a quick recap you’ve got to hang, bleed, quarter, truss, and hang the fat bastard again and then go to 423 and best of bleeding luck with the bleeder cheers bottoms up stan sends his regards (and Stan knows how to cook his fat bastards honest but at crimbo things are a rush what with all the work to finish so he doesn’t always get to dot his eyes or cross his teas which is really hers indoors job)
you fucking bastard.
there was me patting myself on the back for knocking out a one hundred and twenty word sentence and then you turn up and slap that fucking one down.
motherfucker.
mine was better though.
yours was a bit rubbish to be honest.
you must be a bit rusty innit.
Sorry got a bit carried away there and forgot a most important step really what with these modern fittings all being bendy connectors we don’t much get to do soldering like the old days but the thing is before you hang and bleed your bastard you have to get your blowtorch out fire it up and singe the hair off the greasy bastard smells fucking foul but really important to get the lice and mites and god knows what other parasites on the thing get them all off so it’s useful to have the dog around while you do this to attract the little buggers you don’t really want them jumping onto you hell no and it’s right royal pain in the butt having to dress up like a bloody big welder on an oil rig and also you don’t get to hear the fat bastard scream half as well but for crissake don’t throw lighter fuel or diesel on him or you might as well throw him to the dogs and be done with it
Guido, I know this Chef bloke’s comment is off-topic, but can you please send him 10 grand for what is by far the best entry?
As fond as I am of pork scratchings I think I’d draw the line at this particular titbit.
‘With Labour putting The Whole Country Underwater,only a few could afford a place in the viewing gallery.’
SQUIRRRRRR… (ruffle)
“Chinese suction therapy involves placing heated glass spheres on to the skin. As they cool, a vacuum is formed which gently draws out all the toxins and poisons from the body.”
top!
The Best! But it wouldn’t work, far too much toxin.
‘fraid it does nothing of the sort. Just leaves you with circular imprints on your skin.
I know what you’re getting at, though; just correcting a rather obvious factual error.
No witty caption from me, but one’s thoughts turn to a ‘banned’ advert when thinking what one would like to see happening to Quentin, trapped as he is in that bomb-proof armoured vessel…
Sick. DON’T forget the War….
Can’t imagine how they could possibly hope to get away with this. Rotten taste indeed.
Labour Defence Spokesman – “Break Glass in Emergency” scheme being trialed for the BBC TV News was always going to be a failure
“Does my face look smug in this?”
I hope this glass is armoured. Those pleb squaddies look very cross don’t you know
World Exclusive!
Tit found inside nipple!
“Very nice view………when Gordon stops giving money to bankers and overseas countries I’ll buy the rest of the helicopter”
“I wonder if they can hear the lies out there?”
“Just aswell I didn’t have to pay for my bullet-proof vest. I don’t trust the glass”
Here comes Johnny!
“Quiet Baroness….they’ll never guess you’re in here…..oh look over there..looks like a cheap home help”
“I’ll take it put it on my expenses”
Bald inbred, looking slighly maniacal, placed in small padded cell with a view.
Groundcrew: “In technical terms, that piece of apparatus is known as a bell-end.”
“Jocks Away!”
“What are those squaddies chanting? Ah yes……You’re a Banker…..funny that I thought Gord owned the banks?”
0..0.
….simply drop one of these in your fighting machine and marvel how it turns soft as shit.
Guido, PLEASE can we have a new thread…..?
If this stuff stops bullets and shrapnel, it should cope nicely with tomatoes, eggs, half bricks and the odd dead cat. I’ll have both homes reglazed in it, and I’ll get the greenhouse done while I am about it.
I’m complete prick, and I look it too!
Believing that as I do, I clearly cannot honestly remain in the Party. I do not intend to leave public life. On the contrary I am looking forward to joining another party with which I have found increasingly I am naturally in agreement and which has just acquired a leader I have always greatly admired, who I believe is entirely straightforward, and who has a towering record, and a clear vision for the future of our country which I fully share.
Sky News reporting…
“Gordon Brown has told Sky News the recession is not over yet – and cash must continue to be pumped into world economies to avoid years of low growth and high unemployment. Brown said he believed people had ‘suspended judgement’ over his leadership and his own political future depends on how the voters judge his handling of the crisis
The mans totally derranged, Suspended judgement ????? WTF?
They havent suspended judgement they are just working out what type of suspension is fit and proper to pass judgement
Remember, when he bottled holding an election in 07, he said he wanted time to set out his “vision” of how the country should be run. Time’s up mate.
I saw that report much earlier today and watched it in disbelief for the very same reason. Brown’s clearly not in touch with reality.
Just as the best way to avoid a hangover is to keep drinking, so the best way to deal with overspending is to overspend. There has to be some way out of this mess that doesn’t involve borrwoing from our grandchildren. How about selling professional benefit claimants into slavery?
How can we, the electorate, suspend a judgement that he, the unelected…
Fucking crim.
Two things Mr Cable.
If you can prove it’s my main residence and it’s worth over a million quid I’ll pay you the fucking tax.
WARNIN : STUPID PEOPLE CAN SUFFOCATE IN PLASTIC BAGS
Judgement, give us an election and you will get judgement-day.
Vote Blair get Brown, no i’m straight kind of guy and will do a full term. lying Scottish Hoons.
Fly me to the moon
Let me sing among those stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
Major Toff to ground control
That looked painful, can I take a rain check on the intergalactic flight?
I don’t mind parachuting into a safe seat but this is ridiculous
How do you do that? 466 posted at 7:09, 469 posted at 7:15…safe seat.
“Planet earth is blue and there’s nothing I can do”
ive just wasted 2 hours watching 60s music on youtube thanks to that! Check out the (bonniwell) music machine
Lovely view of the Hampshire countryside from here, don’t you know? eh?
On look a sheep abusing Hunt in a bubble.
A Jaguar Land Rover factory is to close as thousands fear for their jobs.
The company announced yesterday that it is to shut down one of its two sites in the West Midlands.
They are the Land Rover factory in Solihull, which employs 5,000, and the Jaguar plant in Castle Bromwich, which employs 2,000.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1215841/Jaguar-Land-Rover-close-factories-thousands-fear-jobs.html#ixzz0S8hwZ1PW
Just in time for the Big man to take the tough decisions and do whats right unlike the do nothing party etc etc et etc etc ad infinitum…
“Clearly the President was angered by any suggestion of a snub so we had scenes of President Obama all over Mr Brown grasping and touching him, whispering in his ear, but not quite kissing him”
Cue footage of bog standard meeting
“Later we were presented with the sight of the President grasping Sarah Brown’s hand – as if to say – I’m sorry”
Nick Toenails Robinson BBC News at 6
vomits
Tory clone about to hatch
New Labour do it again. This Iran nuclear plant – just heard Bruin denounce it as being against UN resolutions. Would that be the same UN whos resolutions you only need to abide by when it suits you, and otherwise, like say when being told to invade Iraq by, err, the Americans, its ok to totally ignore them?
He couldn’t do more to make Britain look stupid in the worlds eyes if he tried.
and why isn’t brown raising the issue that Israel is also in defiance of UN resolutions because of its possession of over 200 nuclear missiles?
double standards innit.
brown is full of shit.
note to gordon brown: you are a total fucking failure. resign.
Oy veh already.
that woke you up didn’t it? zionist tat-rebuttal unit reporting for duty sir!
oy vey will just not cut it though.
Israel is in illegal possession of over 200 nuclear missiles.
oh dear, can’t have rogue states like Israel possessing weapons of mass destruction, too risky a prospect for regional peace I am sorry to say.
and it would be best if we deal with the Israel and Iran nuclear problem at the same time, wouldn’t it?
yes, that would make sense.
after all, we can’t have double standards, now can we.
oy vey!
While the jews shouldn’t have nukes, they should be allowed to have a right to exist, and no one wants them on such a mass scale living on their lands again, so Israel exists and has nukes.
Now while i feel sorry for the Palestianians they are in the same boat, no one muslim or non muslim wants them in their lands on such a scale either, The Egyptians where shooting them trying to cross the border into Egypt.
No muslim country will help the Pals create a Pal state in any of their lands which is hypocritical considering the terms of a worldwide ‘caliphate’ which means muslims shoudln’t recognise country borders.
So it’s a tough situation, I think a recognised Palestian state through the UN being created is probably the only option as they’ve been sold out by their own muslim brothers for a quick buck and the jewish people back in the day during the creation of Israel.
well said truth sayer, you see, you can live up to your name!
let us get to the heart of the matter, eh?
God’s Chosen People are the peacemakers.
if Jewish people wish to honour and fulfill the scriptures then they must make peace.
Israel currently has the whip hand over the Palestians and so Israel has the power to make that peace happen any day it wants which means if it does not the Jewish people must not be God’s Chosen people as they claim.
logic, innit.
Israel should do the deal. that is the best advice they will ever get.
and the dividends of peace will be quite incredible for Israel, it will change everything for the country and will cement its reputation and credibility as a nation.
such a grand bargain initiated by Israel would be an historic affirmation and confirmation of its history and a chance for the country to move forward from its desperately traumatic recent past.
just do the fucking deal motherfuckers.
511: “right to exist”
Now which nu labour politician did I hear that from recently, as justification for all the anti-liberal legislation and regulation? Tony McNutty.
It’s the argument-clincher – who after all could argue with the “right to exist”? But it’s curious logic: not “I think, therefore I am”, but “I am, therefore I have a right to exist”.But I can’t quite see how mere existence causes or justifies any rights at all.
OTOH, “I am, therefore I have an interest in carrying on being myself”, is plausible – not just for any person, but any living thing. It puts the nonsense about animal rights into an intelligible perspective. But that’s really the nub, isn’t: I would rather have my interests override anyone else’s. And what better way to ensure that by deprecating their interests by screaming about my rights to this, to that and the other.
Tat, you’re right. If Iran has to open up to verifiably independent nuclear inspectors, so must Israel. Otherwise the whole exercise is a total farce.
they’ll never agree…. actually both will never agree!!
what about the christian Palestinians?
They haven’t got any nukes, otherwise it might have got quite hot round there…
Loyal government minister tries out Gordon’s new magnifying glass for him.
Gordon! How’s this for that Trans-pear-incy you are always talking about
Notts County wasnt for me
MP checks out his new special needs bus complete with patented ‘Lickalong’ windows.
MOD procurement minister inspects the one eyed PMs new monocular bug eye observation window
*BREAKING NEWS*
Quentin Davies Chinook crashes just after take off. Emergency services say it may be some time before they can get the helicopter out of the wreckage.
Gordon’s chopper is equipped with a glass eye.
Buzz:
“Right now, poised at the edge of the galaxy, Emperor Gorgon has been secretly building a weapon with the destructive capacity to annihilate this entire planet! I alone have information that reveals this weapon’s only weakness.”
Emperor Gorgon:
“You’re just a fucking toy, you arsehole”
“They say a goldfish has a memory of just 30 seconds!” useful in pollitics eh?
If Carlsberg did Helicopters, they’d probably be the best Helicopters in the world….
US Embassy in Saigon, 1975. Yes, I’m sure Carlsberg built them choppers.
“Look, I can see all my homes from up here”
Thank F**k this is what Mandy meant when he said “Quentin darling, you REALLY must have a go on my chopper”
Who is it? I follow the news and so on, but cannot recognise this photo.
Pretty Polly has a cracker on CIF ,looks as if she thinks snotty is going to go,shame it’s not with a bullet in the brain.
Ah, pretty Polly can never make her mind up, Is it GO NOW or:
Jeez doesn’t Stevie look young.
Great voice though for a young’un. Traffic’s Paper Sun remains one of my all time faves
Still does. I saw him at a gig (someone else’s) a few years ago.
oh smeg – i replied to the wrong clip
Yes, if you haven’t already read it, do so now.
It is a cracker and should liven up a Friday evening with some comedy..
K-KKWEEERRK! SMAKMEBITCHUP!!! (scuttle) CRACKERCRACKERCRACKER!!! (ping)
Stop pumping Peter, I think its about to pop
Quentin takes in the sea views, glad that he has managed to acquire the last available ticket for the Titanic.
‘Heroic voyager poses for photograph before being shrunk and sent to search for the Prime Mentalist’s personality.’
It seems another Labour Troll has broken cover.
Patprimer74 has been sussed out on House Price Crash. It seems he has been posting under a different name and now he is having an online argument with another member who is tearing him apart.
Here is the link
http://www.housepricecrash.co.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=126261
A Monocular PM living in a Binocular world.
Quentin Davies inspects Gordon’s Bubble economy.
So, this is what an asset bubble looks like?
It looked very different in my briefing papers!
The tit who put the tit into Chinook.
Polly Toynbee snatches the trophy for the most evil, dangerous, treasonous, dishonest, hypocritical, two-faced, disloyal, duplicitous, hag-faced, cretinous old bitch of the year, 2009.
Tenth year running. Shirley Williams once again, astonishingly, failed to make the short list.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/sep/25/gordon-brown-resignation-labour-conference
Is that Polly suggesting something sensible?
There WILL be parties in the streets if Broon resigns next week!
Is that Polly suggesting something sensible?
ARE YOU MAD?
Sure its not intentional but everytime that Mad cow writes something controversial the comments cannot be opened to read or even add one. Dunno if anyone else has that problem.
she really has lost it – good comments, but we’ve got to be careful, they’re all pushing the notion that gordon saved the world, people are just ingrateful
Remember
- we’re going to get massive inflation over the coming years
- the banks were not as bad as they suggested – hence immediate return to huge bonuses – they’re simply clever people who took us to the cleaners
- allowing more mergers will mean in future even harder to let a bank go bust
- a decade of over-spending left us needing a deficity so large it’s dangerous, resorting to printing money
Just because CallMeDave didn’t know what to do, doesn’t mean Brown did the right thing, even on the banks – he didn’t.
After hearing about secret Russian plans to train men for the long trip through space to Mars, Quentin hears Gordon talking about a trip to Uranus…
Tit for Tat…Thius is what Labour do best.
Labour party decide paying Richard Branson to put Quentin Davies in space is the best way of getting rid of him before facing the electorate…
Swine Flu isolation unit launched..
We have a centre here that is doling out swine flu medication. They’ve shut down our sports centre and moved in eight people to run the swine flu thing.
What do they do?? – they spend their days playing cards.
The rest of us, community clube and the local comprehensive who used the sports centre as part of their complex can no longer play basketball, badminton or table tennis.
Well done labour!
Don’t worry Nell; they’ill be busy enough when forced vacinations are mandatory for everyone. They’ve got the population explosion to think of.
“they spend their days playing cards.”
maybe the Tsunami affect the tide is out and is awaiting the onslaught??????? don’t be too hard on them
“So where is this P45 bombshell they keep telling me about?”
It is going to cost someone £100K to see it. But I’m sure max will manage it.
Of course baroness scotland could do the decent thing and resign and then tell the truth . Her housekeeper then would have no story to tell.
I rather suspect max will win the day. Pathetic labour.
It’s not Mahmood Mahzer the fake shake in disguise is it?
All I can think of is ‘fuckin dick head’.
Sorry.
and matching rubber johnny.
Having spent so much time diving deep in the Labour party, Quentin realises his only hope is to spend time in a decompression chamber in the hope of rejoining humanity in the Tory Party..
Ryanair offers free flights with added extra costs:
http://englandexpects.blogspot.com/2009/09/yes-campaign-encourage-eu-officials-to.html
They’re never going to give up on their mission, and they don’t give a damn what we think, we need to get as rough with them, stop worrying about playing fair, and point out that the EU is an extremely undemocratic evil organization.
Hubble, bubble, toil and trouble.
I wonder who those 3 witches in macbeth might be?
harriett, shriti the shriek and the absolutely honest, above contempt baroness scotland?
Rumours of a long queue at auditions. Margaret Beckett was an early arrival, closely followed by Jacqui Smith. Yvette Cooper and Ruth Kelly arrived together, with a little ginger mop bobbing along behind as Hazel Blears jumped up and down, trying to be seen. Caroline Flint was seen looking for a window to dress. They were followed by several other anonymous Blair Babes.
Kate Hoey, rather wisely, found another appointment.
Vote Labour for unprecedented number of unelected peers in the Cabinet
Vote Labour to effectively abolish the houses of Commons
Vote Labour for Tony Blair to continue to make Millions whist working class squadies are blown to bits in Iraq and Afghanistan
Vote Labour for the New Aristocracy’
Vote Labour to ensure one Law for us and another law for The New Aristocracy
Vote? Since when did New Labour believe in voting?
makes hitler look like Woy Jenkins
apart from the genocide bit
Ha ha, with our current levels of immigration we will have ethnically cleansed the English from England within a few decades. Genocide without all the pain. Plus we keep having some of them die in Afghanistan – you just know they would vote Tory white males if they survived.
Once we are rid of the English, you will be surprised how easy it will be to be rid of Parliament, jury trial, independent police (we’ve made some prgoress on this already) and the last vestiges of freedom.
Just live with it. We’re getting rich, you’re getting poor and your racist little country will be gone with a couple of generations. Nothing you can do now… though I bet some of you wish you had dug your heels in a bit more against diversity, equality and “modernising” everything…
See Dave , I told you that I am a high flyer.
I bet that you regret describing me as a creepy ,odious git .
No ,don’t laugh just check with with Bob A — he says that I divert a lot of flak
away from him . I couldn’t have a better boss .
When needing a shit whilst in a Chinook the old RAF trick was to paint a face on your arse and stick it out the window.
I’m surprised it wasn’t Bob Ainsworth.
Hey that took courage!!!
Bob’s not got any of that!!!!
Usually when I put a condom on, I end up in Mandlebaum’s sigmoid, the view’s a lot better from here.
Yes, it looks like a penis but smaller.
For those of us who love and care for our disabled children everyday – this excuse for a piece of farmyard manure is worse less than a fly on a cow pat.
do you have kids?
Not you nell dear, I’m sure you have dozens of the blighters.
Nell
sorry to hear you look after disabled kid… as as disabled big kid I know life MUST be difficult for you. Your posts are great to read and SO sensible (mostly)!!!
Recession? What recession?
This is a message for Guido.
If whoever is posting under the name of deceased members of DC’s family continues on this site I am off for good.
It is worth giving this scum a little exposure so that everyone can see them for what they are, but continuing it is too much of an affront to human decency to be bearable.
I refuse to accept it.
I’m sorry Moley but that is what he/they/thelabourscum want. If you do that they win! I suspect CharlieWhln and TWatson will be well pleased.
He’s a prat but I think he is more pissed off with Guido for censoring him
I have been trying to calm him down and I think you have too Nell, hopefully he will see sense.
Moley mate – accept as the price of more-or-less free speech. Whoever’s doing that isn’t just an arsehole, he’s a nutter. Take heart from the fact that *everyone* else here despises him. I do, but I also pity him a little.
Stick around.
I think he has been banned once, not just for the family tragedy nastiness but for being generally disruptive as well. The blog was better without.
The person concerned can, when he chooses, engage in sensible debate. I don’t think anybody has a problem with that, though some do express their opinion of his political views in rather direct, sometimes offensive, terms. I wish they wouldn’t, it doesn’t help the collective understanding of the country’s situation.
If I remember correctly, Gordon and Sarah Brown suffered a similar family tragedy. Was there similar comment on this blog at that time?
It is you Spaedo Shorts, no doubt with a new IP addie, but you’ll be banned again soon. Something to brag about with your gluesniffin mates
Don’t think so, Swimming Trunks.
That kim Jong Il I could vote for him
You were blocked you fuckin liar
concur a bit sad he feels that he needs to fight Everyone. I think he responds to some understanding. He is really aggrieved about the PERSONAL attacks on a fellow disabled Scot ie McDoom. But as a disabled Scot myself (and pissed at present…not good on one leg) I tried to tell him to not take it personally
ho hum can’t wait for the Sunday’s
Just rub it with Bonjela and watch the white puss come shooting out.
Gordon took me for a dicky-back ride
“Is this the right place for a rear gunner?”
O/T Fuck me England have won!!!!!!!
Do you require lubricant?
No
I suggest you go to Afghanistan without body armour – and go out in front of a foot patrol just before they find an IED.
CharlieW/Aintbunstinagut/Alastair/ ….Hopefully you’ll get blasted to hell. We won’t mourn you.
I think you are right bergen.
I believe the poster is a labour supporter.
he thinks he is being clever by posting such vile posts because he thinks if he rights really really nasty comments then people might be tricked into thinking he is a tory fifth columnist and use it as an illustration of how desperate the tories are to get into power.
but he is definitely a labour troll.
so this is what it has come to for the labour party, eh?
shame on them.
so many hundreds of thousands of children killed by new labour’s war policy and yet and yet we have a labour supporter visiting this place and spewing his vile putrid scum comments about dead children.
this is the end for labour, isn’t it.
an appropriately nasty end for a nasty useless party of freeloaders and liars.
the only thing new labour ever really did was war.
and they underfunded the troops for that.
new labour couldn’t even do war properly the useless fucking c’unts.
note to gordon brown: it’s your fault brown, you will be lucky if you don’t get lynched by a mob of righteous citizens you big fat fucking useless wanker.
resign.
I collect names and I am collecting yours. but I will not hang it on my wall, because it is not something to be proud of.
do not use that name again.
comply.
you are nothing more than a useful idiot.
and you have no insight, very interesting.
you are like a computer programme designed by a psychopath.
hold on a minute…. useful idiot, no insight, psychopath..hmm… I’ve got it!
you are alistair campbell and I claim my £5!
Good guess but even CAmpbell is not a stupid nonce
good post titfer
Look Charlie Whln/TWatson- we don’t like your sense of humour.
I wonder whether your Unite members who are forced to pay their subs like your sense of humour either?
I think labour’s days are numbered!!!!!!
This blog would be seriously improved with a GE CountdownClock dontchathink?
Yeah 5….4….3…. 2… oh not long enough eh?
Do everyone a favour,change your name you cretin,you disgust me.
Guido, time to stop these sicko’s posting, I’m all for freedom of speech but they don’t want to say anything, they are just twisted and mentally retarded fuckwits.
so you admit you are a mentally retarded fuckwit, (what I may be is open to question), Ha Ha Ha!
That’s an admission, mentally retarded fuckwit.
Ignore the troll while Guido is on the piss
Caption competition :
Me and Gordon have a Chinook each – you lot, either walk or get in that Landrover, because there’s no more available.
And mind the doors.
This is the end for labour isn’t it?
Labour has died . You only need to look at gordon to be sure of that.
Labour is dead!!!!
How the blazes would she have become a granny if she hadn’t?
Eng. Yeah ! The trouble is Labour has no interest in those of us who live ‘real life’ everyday.
Bless them – like gordon and quentin davis – they spend their days hassling for PHOTO OPPORTUNITIES…
shallow shallow people !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
True nell, some of them do seem to lack the capacity for independent thought, preferring to believe tribal tosh. This specimen seems a particularly ignorant example of the breed.
could have ben a caeserian section – no labour there
Or South East England – no Labour there either
good one
)
lol
Never vote for an independent
You sound like you’ve been in your granny, granmuthafucka.
Gordo’s visage looks increasing cadaverous by the day. The health reasons get-out clause will soon be invoked by the Great Fifeshire Bottler.
Has this man ever stood his ground?
What’s a ‘howk’?
Have you any evidence for that assertion?
Or are you just being gratuitously offensive again?
I am a good judge of character and have access to some very good sources up here – sorry, yo’re not vetted high enough – its a “need to know basis”.
That Ian Brady I could vote for him
I’ve known worse – at least Brady ain’t a tory
Like yourself
Brady was Labour after all he liked and killed children… ditch the offensive tag….please.
It’s so sad that someone has to go so far beyond the bounds of human decency to grab a bit of attention. Get yourself a girlfriend mate, or even a dog if you’re that fucking ugly on the outside as you evidently are on the inside.
Now fuck off and find where you’ve left your conscience.
dont be so personal – I am highly offended
That Harold Shipman I could vote for him
he’s a bad man
and he was a tory
So why’s he not in the Cabinet ?
he is – he is in the tory hell cabinet
Rubbish
He is currently serving his term in Scotland and awaiting a compasionate release
Shipman Is Dead ! He Hung Himself In Armley Prison Just After He Was Jailed !
The internet even gives the gutter a voice. gurgle
cant add much more to that.
To “The late Ivan Cameron”….. at which point does satire become a sick joke and can you tell me where we should draw the line ?
Easy on the porridge there Jockoe
“This is Ground Control to Major Norm
Lib Dems didn’t make the grade
And the media questions if you’re really there
Now it’s time to leave the capsule if you dare!”
“This is Major Norm to Ground Control
I’m stepping through the door
And I’m floating in a most peculiar way
And Vince looks very different today
For here
The Lib dems sitting in a tin can
Far above the world
Planet Earth is turning blue
And there’s nothing you can do
Sound bites at one hundred thousand miles
We’re feeling very still
And I think Cameron knows which way to go
Tell Nick Clegg I love him very much he knows”
“Ground Control to Major Norm
Your circuit’s dead, and the Lib Dems are gorn
Can you hear me, Major Norm?
Can you hear me, Major Norm?
Can you hear me, Major Norm?
Can you….”
“Here am I floating round my tin can
Far above the Moon
Planet Earth is blue
And there’s nothing I can do”
If I ever came across you in the real world you would be the Late, as in deceased. Don’t feed the cretin.
bring it on cedric
That Pol Pot I could vote for him
was he a tory ?
was he a tony ?
watch out mate – you might get whats coming to you.
The people – those that have not O’Dd on pizza and Shitains got Hunts – hate your fucking guts.
May or June 2010 is it?
566
streamfisher says:
September 25, 2009 at 9:55 pm
If I ever came across you in the real world you would be the Late, as in deceased. Don’t feed the cretin.
That is a good point. If he is murdered and 1000 or 10000 of us admit to it – they couldnt bang us all up could they?
Satan!! Tony Blair is here! Where’s Slotgob?
Sorry I have never come across the word ‘howk.
What does it mean?
see 576 ya daft old bat
it means she’s a hoor (wuz modded)
you’ll look at this tomorow and feel ashamed and sick – I hope
That Marc Dutroux I could vote for him
Charlie /tomwtsn/ damian/bobaint/.. ….manure is so much more useful…………
You shoudl hear what they say up here about Osborne’s wife – OOhhhhhh !!
Nobody makes any comments about Cherie Blair
nell, this twat is plainly s’pedo shits. He’s gone more insane than usual because we haven’t recognised the genius which he so obviously is in his own twisted head.
*bows*
*bores*
You are Alastair Campbell. Well Done !!
You have really scored a goal for the labour party. They will be really proud of you .
Certificate of Achievement coming your way!!!!!
Alex Salmond is a Eurobitch.
Alex Salmond is very wel regarded up here
Well retarded more like.
He’s not well regarded in Scotland
‘Play safe. Wear an armoured condom’.
Double rubber dipped in Domestos.
But tis a real passion killer. Still, better be safe than a sorearse
Thanks, Guido.
Looks like there are still a few scumbag posts left. Best let Guido clear them off in his own good time, folks.
Normal service will be resumed as soon as plausible
Quentin Davies unveils the plan to solve two pressing social issues by replacing CCTV cameras with unemployed people..
How about:
Minor player in the destruction of the UK looks out of the window of an obsolete helicopter
Or even;
“Obsolete minor player in the destruction of the UK looks out of the window of a helicopter.”
Yeah Yeah!! In truth that person is Baroness Scotland .
nell – I love you!
Apollo moonshot returns with alien onboard
That’s good…
everybody votes Labour up here
They sure do.
all the tory voters are in hell
What Liverpool ?
Hahahaa!! Where the beatles come from ?
beetles come from the wood in your attic
it’s what the LibDem spiders eat ( apart from the vegan ones )
why the f@ck did they call their airport john lennon ???
they couldn’t spell Vladimir
Hheehe!!
I can’t spell fooking illlidddyyyyvitch !!
John Lennon it is then
)
You are alone
You are in your attic
The spiders vote LibDem
Well they did until you came on the scene .
No-one would vote labour with you canvassing for them.
In any case gordon has died as a voting option!!!!!
I give them the option of the SNP or the Bea Enn Pea or even the Tor-ee BUT NEVER a LibDem
(
LibDems are what you will become
The inevitability of Liberal Democracy
- read Karl Marx
Liberal Democracy is the system as a whole – LibDems are only a party within it, see what I mean ?
Your reply was inevitable
It proves the triumph of Nick Clegg
Charles Kennedy could never have done it
I thought you were smarte than that – stick to the jokes m8 you’re quite funny – politics, naw.
If we stick to the jokes we’ll be talking SNP all night.
Why’s it called SNP ?
So the activists can spell it ?
nell, just a little tip for you luv. This fucka is s’pedo the pedalo, an Alex Salmond SNP groupie, so all your toffy about Labour is missing the target. Insult Alex Salmond and watch him implode.
McBingo
Alex Salmond is a bit pudgy
how DARE you
(
GUIDO – take down that post !!
Guido does NOT take down reasonable comment… that is why you are having PRobs………… ditch the tag
I think he’s been taking down your knckers
It’s Shetland’s oil
you’re goin’ too far noo laddie
It’s Brussels oil
That better ?
Why does Salmond visibly get fatter when appearing on TV? He seems to swell under the lights.
An oil salesman – snake oil.
He has given no thought to what will happen to Scotland and his policy is to provoke as mcuh badwill with the English as possible.
All SNP bloggers are the same – creating a climate of hate with their biggest neighbour. They haven’t thought through the consequences.
I am
that’s why I keep on about Alex Salmond
Perhaps he should put more salt on his deep fried Mars bar ?
Isn’t she one of the Krankies ? ( sex indeterminate )
Perhaps she could run the 800 m for Scotland
She looks more like a trout than a sturgeon.
I never found Thatcher sexually appealing
Stick to scottish newreaders much better.
He’s from the Scottish Public relations Department.
No stone unturned in improving Scotland’s image.
Traitor.
Mummy loves really Speedo
true – even although he was a wee accident
You were conceived in a golden shower ?
NO…. not a we accident……… God’s gift BUT ONLY to the NHS…. ditch the tag and see the response…why don;t you learn from your mistakes??????
you are begining to sound as if your fooking needle has stuck lady.
Everybody voted labour down there.
Ruin has found some one worse than him ! In fairness having a secret bunker in a mountain making evil substances , you would have thought they would get on .
Andrew pravda show will be fun , as he positions himself for world leader you can trust , funny how things wear off , funny how on the doorstep voters just dont trust labour , now you might be thinking he will scrape through this week and shuffle into parliament and spin it out . All could disappear for ruin , CW knows that some Labour mps have privately accepted that he has lied , he has given them a little hope like he has done before , tell yea as well financial pestelence this nutter will cause more trouble , he has no remedy .
follow the money
Take me to your Leader
Bubble and sneak
‘…and which planet am I now on?’
Blimey. This place has got surreal tonight. That feller is not quite right….
lawd knows I can respect an effective and intelligent troll – but… this is a bit different.
fuck off andshove your respect vertically
die you Cnut
specify a time please, karma is a pretty precise thing up here
probably based on the tides
Cnut is the Danish spelling of Canute – I thought the scottish education system would have covered this.
wsill now do?
I made a typo! I made a typo!
DIE
Alex
Salmond
Scotland’s
Head
Of
Light
Entertainment
Quite a lot of falling-over water sloshing about tonight, I think, Frank.
Oh, well. Time for bed. Stay safe, all.
tried to make him see sense but he must be on the medication again
Somebody got into at time machine went back 100,000 years and squashed a butterfly, chaos theory, or Gordon has managed open another wormhole in space and we are now living in the wrong parallel universe.
it will not matter who wins, both gordon and dave are handing this country over to president blair next year.
President Blairs, despite grasping the Roserary, may not quite cut the mustard with our Continental friends.
arthur, will you be our leader in a military coup? ‘cos that’s what it will take.
all the thieves know they are safe now because everybody has gone back to tribalism instead of trying to get their local crook deselected now; waiting for the election will be too late. it will also be a disaster if the tory’s get in without the needed support of ukip.
I know President Blair sounds like a nightmare but I think the silver-lining might be that it will finally wake up a lot of people to the undemocratic nature of the EU. Blair would be a very loud, almost certainly corrupt, and attention grabbing personification of something which had hitherto been somewhat theoretical and hard to get many voters to understand. Of course, from that standpoint, it would be better if Brown managed to get the job. I honestly believe that if he was Father Christmas he would still somehow fuck it up enough to become hated.
my point is that we need a referendum now not in five years. what is the use in giving the tory’s overall control so that the eu can bed in with more power; the uk will be lost forever.
Guido: this theme is bleedin’ over. Throw your rabid attack dogs another bone to chew!
Rabid attack dogs?, Old Shep might give a nip on the ankle to wayward sheep but that’s just to get them penned-up sheared and wormed.
Two thirds of Scots can’t bring themselves to vote for Alex Salmond
why…… === he is a troughing HOON just like the rest of them
no- he’s a hooning trough (Gaelic version)
I hope this comment is not supposed to witty, as it’s gonna massively disappoint whatever readers we have left.
Apparently you left 18 minutes ago
( see below )
Be that as it may, I’m off to bed
I’ve told the wife to dress as an SNP supporter and then I will fuck her
All OK except she refuses to take her IQ so far down. Ho hum close my eyes and think of Charles Kennedy.
Dobre Noc
80% Of The british Didn’t Vote For Labour ! And NONE Of Us Voted For Brown !
Hope we have more sense tomorrow.
I’m off to bed
I suggest we just ignore the mental Scotsman. He dishonours our race… and McDoom and his Hoons do too.
Incest,cancer,necrophilia,peadophilia,going to the toilet,masturbation,taking the piss out of downs syndrome,old people,abortion.
There are so many worthy subjects that deserve your enlightened views,why don’t you stay for the late session?
Alex Salmond declares UDI.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/lawandorder/6228232/Domestic-passengers-flying-to-Scotland-may-now-have-to-show-their-passports.html
Labour astroturfers out and about , must have free wifi at Brighton , by the way Latin post was not me , dont know whats going off there , either i have new friends in the vatican or someone who can cut and paste from google books from the 5th century .
i think i might go all stanislav .
CW for some time has been pondering why I keep witnessing , random acts of street violence , a few weeks ago I witnessed a pedestrian walk out in front of car on a crossing , car had to brake man shouldnt have crossed ,but it was no big deal , next think car pulls up big bloke gets out and starts laying into man with shopping . On a trip to school i sat in the reception only to hear an emrgency call come through for the “incident team” as pupil was bashing a kid in class and teacher was erm unable to do anything .
Everyone will remeber the boiling frog analogy , about slow imperceptable changes where the enviroment changes until it becomes uninhabitabital . Well it seems as though some other people may be starting to have alook at this , if your wondering too suggest you check out Times article on Eva Hoffmans new book called Time .
There may be more to this , remeber who handed out the ritalin !
best laugh has to be Ed balls telling school pupils that being PM is a difficult and you can never rule out not wanting to do it , the thought of Ed being PM cheered me up mainly because i wondered what poll ratings he would acheive “so weak”
CW. You are indeed onto something here. My perception is that the public have slowly been ‘dumbed down’ over the years, whether it be through media indoctrination or suspect additives to food and drink. Certainly wouldn’t advise anyone to take swine flu vaccine!
I would go further to suggest this is a NWO policy, but then I would be hounded by the anti-conspiracists!…
” QUICK !!!! Hand me that .50 cal i’ve just spotted Bin Laden’s cave !!.”
Bin Laden died end 2001, so you may be 8 years too late!…
If Bin Laden Rids Us Of This Lot We’ll Make Him PM !
David and Goliath might be an appropriate title for this video. Because Jane Bürgermeister, as a committed Christian, possesses an almost unreasonable amount of courage in her single-handed stand – against what many perceive as being a giant that few people are equipped to fight.
Jane is a young woman living in Vienna who, while working as a medical editor, was horrified to learn in early 2009 of the fiasco in which a Baxter International research facility in Orth-Donau, Austria, sent a quantity of human H3N2 viral material to 18 European laboratories.
Such a supply of experimental material would have been totally normal – except that in this instance the H3N2 had been somehow contaminated with live H5N1… the far more lethal Avian Flu.
As a medical editor, Jane immediately realized the import of what had happened – and what had nearly happened – and raised the alarm. But no-one in the Austrian media was interested. She then took matters into her own hands and filed legal charges against those who she considered the perpetrators to be.
Very soon after, Jane was dismissed from her job without explanation. Undeterred, she sought support on the internet and continued her campaign. In the months since then she has attracted committed followers – and critics – all over the world. She is not alone in suspecting that there exists a literally diabolical plan which is nothing less than the genocide of potentially hundreds of millions of people worldwide.
Project Camelot can understand how she has inspired many others to wake up and take action: it’s a little harder to understand some of her critics. When we learned that a number of serious accusations had been leveled against her, the obvious thing to do was to seek her out and talk to her on camera – one of the things that Project Camelot is equipped to do best.
So, this we have done. The result speaks for itself. We bring you the real Jane Bürgermeister: feisty, determined, passionate, articulate, and authentic.
Interesting, and if nothing else the woman’s zeal for the public safety is commendable.
I am genuinely flatterd using my name, it was better than I managed to post, any connection to merril labs ?? or new swine flu vaccine ?? I gernally dont do the conspiracy theory business , and no doubt essential personnel will get the jab first , wouldnt be surprise if socialist nutters have thought it out , it is one way of winning elections .
Strewth! Very blinky… Do not trust this Swine flu con.
Derren Brown working hard to suggest to the nation: concentric circles.
‘…and I will have a look at your prostrate while I’m up there prime minister…’
I Bought This From Michael Jackson’s Estate For £500,000 On Expences Of Course !
Who Said Mp’s LIve In Their Own Little World ?
Pull Tab Out
Push Panel In
Punch Smug Troughing Bastard on the other side
Labour Launch Their New Asylum Seeker Transporter! It Now Has windows So They Can Laugh At The Taxpayers On The Way To The Benefit Office !
He’s a Cambridge graduate, so just follow the the instruction to “pull tab out”.
Quentin Davis, goes for the part of a tit in the remake of Barberella
Surely they can make these bomb-disposal suits more compact than this.
No minister we said put the Tin hat on, not the tit.
The latest technology allows us to photography the exact moment a digusting toad leaves his lair.
Just coming up to the plain now Hoon,
Yes I can see the new Twatcoes drive through at Andover
He is definitely Buzz lightyear to the stars and beyond?
First time I’ve seen a Hunt inside a Condom!
Laugh’s. Almost blew my line over the keyboard.
Quentin promoted to be a turd floating in a septic tank cesspit…
WORLD EXCLUSIVE !!
Man who bought shares in an undertaker when people stopped dying.
Exclusive pictures and interview…
How to dispose of an unwanted politician. Part 94..
1/ Put useless politician in time-capsule.
2/ Bury in Blue Peter Garden.
3/ Dig up in year 2100.
Dictionary compilers suddenly realise that the phrase ‘as useless as a fart in a spacesuit..’ is redundant and has just been superseded…
Quentin Davies in the instant before he realises that the LABOUR PARTY GOAT DECONTAMINATION UNIT MK22 can only be opened from the outside…
In the Labour Party no one can hear you scream…
You see, I am a dickhead.
[...] Friday Caption Contest (Toff in a Bubble) [...]
The wrong way to put on a condom.
Some bods on Fark.com having fun with this pic:
http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4658450