http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/files/2009/09/politics-libdems-443×288.jpg

what a happy band – our country is safe in their hands

remember Lord Carrington? resigned after the Argentine invaded the Falklands – despite him probably being the best man for the job he said “nope – my watch, my fault – I’m oudda here” (I paraphrase)…….

My Grandma was born there she was a high priestess there but her love for my grandfather’s brother drew her away. One night she swam over to a rock with a bag of feathers and stuck them to her legs to make herself look like a mermaid using bee’s wax that she had stolen from the sacred grove on Toffeaq Island. She then waited for a passing ship to catch her sitting shivering on the rocks and come to her entranced with her song as she tossed back her hair that was as black as night and her eyes as green as the grass that only comes after a sun shower on the hottest of summers days.

The just as all hope of being picked up began to fade along came a ship and standing proud at its helm with a chin that looked like it was set in concrete stood the handsome captain who was unfortunately gay which disappointed my grandmother immensely but he extended a strong hand (With nail varnish) to my grandmother and she was helped aboard and fell into a deep sleep.

When she awoke she was on dry land and was in awe of the strange things she saw….cars, houses, televisions and mice (She had never seen a mouse) but she knew that she must find her true love…who’s photo was washed onto the shores of Toffeaq some months previous.

Then by amazing coincidence 30 seconds later she bumped into him (Even though he lived 100 miles away) and shortened this story…she married him then he died and she married his brother because she was bored.