September 4th, 2009

Give Us a Job Ed

The low circulation New Statesman continues to fascinate Guido, a co-conspirator has sent in an example of a lavish bit of sycophancy which really deserves a bigger audience.

ns_logoYou may remember that James Macintyre was not so long ago bitterly disappointed at failing to become Ed Miliband’s SpAd after Derek Draper advised Ed against hiring him.  This week Macintyre was embedded on a junket to Bangladesh and India with Ed Miliband and Dougie Alexander to see poverty first-hand and get a few photo-ops with the ministers.  Looks like Macintyre is re-applying for the SpAd job with the man he describes optimistically as “a leader-in-waiting”:

ed+dougieIt is amazing to think that if the conventional wisdom is right, and Labour loses, these talented ministers, with so much to offer, will suddenly be out of a job. I can’t remember who their Tory opposite numbers are, but it is fair to say that certain parties I have spoken to, from NGO workers to diplomats to foreign politicians, are keeping their fingers crossed that the consensus will be proved wrong.

Can you hear that sucking up sound?  You would think that the ‘political correspondent’ of a magazine with pretensions to being a serious journal would know his subject. It falls to Guido, again, to help out the Statesman’s political team: Andrew Mitchell and Greg Clark are their opposite numbers…


  1. 1
    Licence fee refusenik says:

    Can you here?

    Guido – spelling!

    Go to the bottom of the class

    • 14

      The position of blog sub-editor is… etc.

    • 21
      Reg511 says:

      OT but love the sentiment, from the Speccie

      Wolffe goes on to say that Obama’s aides found the experience of meeting Brown “faintly depressing”.

      What a complete embarassment he is, string him up on the fourth plinth, and stuff his balls in his mouth, we could change the fourth plinth attraction every week, when the worst have been done, put up the stocks for the also-rans

      • 44
        nell says:

        He also thought him dour and dreary apparently. No doubt the New Statesman would interpret that as ‘being of serious intellect’ or some other twaddle.

        These leftie papers and the BEEB have the same problem with telling the truth that gordon and his ministers have.

      • 51
        jgm2 says:

        Meeting him is ‘faintly depressing’? You should try having him in a position of authority over your life and your money.

        Faintly depressing doesn’t begin to describe it.

        • 57
          Ivor Schwartzporsche says:

          jgm2. Understatement of the week award goes to….

        • 141
          thick as thieves says:

          so brown is taking prescribed medication to combat his depression?
          good bit of spin.
          that c’unts been on amphetamines for fucking years; in fact it is his over use of intravenously taken amphetamine based prescriptions that is causing his depression and triggering his psychotic episodes.
          he never wears short sleeves does he.
          that is because he is a junkie.
          brown’s just a fucking junkie in a suit.
          gordon brown could not function without his injections and he is therefore unfit to remain in office.
          we simply cannot have some junkie motherfucker like brown running the show.
          let’s just hope the c’unt has the same doctor as michael had, eh?

        • 180
          Hysteria says:

          dontcha just love understated Brit humour ? Great post!

        • 243
          Alexander Trocchi says:

          rather wish the Hunt was a junkie, man – he’d be too stoned to be such a drag to the rest of us…

        • 272
          Anonymous says:

          tat#157 that also explains the obsessive compulsive behaviour, the constant repetative verbage and the grinding of teeth otherwise known as slack jaw !

    • 340
      Cynic says:

      You betcha that the aid agencies are worried that the flow of funds that provides for bevvies of consultants in exotic places may dry up.

  2. 2
    OBN says:

    Isn’t there a particular circle of hell reserved for sycophants? I do hope so.

  3. 3
    Vice for the day says:

    I Believe such acts of gratuitious arse licking is known as Rimming .

    • 266
      The Old Major says:

      In a bored ten minutes last week I clicked on Wikipedia’s random link feature a few times and happened upon “tossed salad.”

      The things you learn.

  4. 4
    Going with the ice floe !! says:

    “………… if the conventional wisdom is right, and Labour loses, these talented ministers, with so much to offer, will suddenly be out of a job……….. it is fair to say that certain parties I have spoken to, from NGO workers to diplomats to foreign politicians, are keeping their fingers crossed that the consensus will be proved wrong.”

    Sorry James – you’d better tell all those NGO workers.diplomats and foreign politicians that Ed and Dougie have got more chance of eradicating global warming and world poverty than Labour has of winning the next election…….!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • 34
      stilyagi_air_corps says:

      NGO quangocrats we can understand, but which foreign politicians? Muammar Qadaffi, Hugo Chavez and Hamid Kharzai?

      • 101
        looooooooooooopy says:

        Don’t forget all the African scroungers always waiting with the begging bowl out either.

    • 134
      English Viking says:

      There is no such thing as Global Warming.

    • 188
      Hysteria says:

      this was the more interesting part of the post – the task we face in turfing out the results of the Gramsci “long march through the institutions” is going to be a challenge for us, and probably a few more generations. Some area of the US are also waking up to this – boy are we in for an interesting few years!

      • 244
        Anonymous says:

        There is such a thing as global warming but it’s not caused by human activity

      • 301
        Don’t bank on the Americans says:

        In the two years since the crisis began, neither the Fed nor policymakers at the Treasury have taken steps to remove toxic assets from banks balance sheets. The main arteries for credit still remain clogged despite the fact that the Bernanke has added nearly $900 billion in excess reserves to the banking system.

        Consumers continue to reduce their borrowing despite historically low interest rates and the banks are still hoarding capital to pay off losses from non performing loans and bad assets.

        Changes in the Financial Accounting Standards Board (FASB) rules for mark-to-market accounting of assets have made it easier for underwater banks to hide their red ink, but, eventually, the losses have to be reported. The wave of banks failures is just now beginning to accelerate. It should persist into 2011.

        The system is gravely under-capitalized and at risk. Christopher Whalen does a great job of summarizing the condition of the banking system in a recent post at The Institutional Risk Analyst:

        “The results of our Q2 2009 stress test of the US banking industry are pretty grim. Despite all of the talk and expenditure in Washington, the US banking industry is still sinking steadily and neither the Obama Administration nor the Federal Reserve seem to have any more bullets to fire at the deflation monster.

        With the dollar seemingly set for a rebound and the equity and debt markets looking exhausted, one veteran manager told The IRA that the finish of 2009 seems more problematic than is usual and customary for the end of year.

        Plain fact is that the Fed and Treasury spent all the available liquidity propping up Wall Street’s toxic asset waste pile and the banks that created it, so now Main Street employers and private investors, and the relatively smaller banks that support them both, must go begging for capital and liquidity in a market where government is the only player left.

        The notion that the Fed can even contemplate reversing the massive bailout for the OTC markets, this to restore normalcy to the monetary models that supposedly inform the central bank’s deliberations, is ridiculous in view of the capital shortfall in the banking sector and the private sector economy more generally.”

  5. 5
    mitch says:

    “talented ministers” hahahahahahahha stop it hahahahahahahah !

    • 47
      Monica L says:

      Now then,be fair.
      There’s er er

      Maybe you’re right.

      No, you ARE right.

      Apologies for thinking otherwise.

    • 54
      nell says:

      Well they do have great talent for not telling the truth or for telling lies.

      Wasn’t Ed Miliband the minister who tried to hide the uncomfortable truth that because of this government’s failure to plan ahead, we shan’t be able to produce enough electricity to meet demand and so face power cuts in 10 years time?

      • 59
        Dick the Prick says:

        errr…..’It is amazing to think that if the conventional wisdom is right, and Labour loses, these talented ministers, with so much to offer, will suddenly be out of a job’ …. what a penis – it’s called an election numbnuts.

        It is amazing to think that Iraquis & Afghans would welcome these twats in any position of authority until their glorious death. Leaders in waiting – my rectum.

        • 70
          Gordon Brown says:

          It is amazing to think that if the conventional wisdom is right, and Labour loses, these talented ministers, with so much to offer, will suddenly be out of a job

          Well apart from the ‘talented’ and ‘so much to offer’ that’s a sentiment I could get behind.

          ‘Suddenly be out of a job.’ Mmmmm. Just imagine that. Picture the Portillo moments as Brown, Smith, Straw, Miliband, Alexander and all the rest of the utterly incompetent jackasses get all their toys taken off them. No more whistling up a helicopter for a visit here or there. No more ordering up a plane for a flight here or there to pose in front of some tanks for some photos for the album.

          Just plain old opposition lobby fodder. No longer listened to. Their ‘initiatives’ no longer reported or relevant. millions of lives un-fucked by their idiot reach.

          Mmmmm. You can almost taste their disappointment. The realisation that their time has come and gone. The realisation that they had so much opportunity to do good and instead managed to create such misery and chaos.


        • 72

          It will be a portillo moment, but without a good portaloo speech.

          Do you really think these ZanuLabour lot are going to lose gracefully?

        • 103
          jgm2 says:

          You’re right. But nobody will be listening to their speeches. They’ll all be listening to what the new Prime Minister and his cabinet are saying.

          They’re already yesterday’s men hence, like Brown, they’re working on their airmiles and photo-ops before we strip their power off them for good.

          Off you fuck chaps. Don’t let the door hit your arse on the way out.

        • 172
          barefootcontessa says:

          GB. Lovely jubbly.

      • 247
        Susie says:

        It was 8 years time. Best to move to France where they’ll be fine with 87% of their power from steady reliable nuclear.

        As for the UK, if you want to stay warm, learn to knit and get that bricked up fireplace working again.

      • 275
        Anonymous says:

        Of Course Ed is English which explains everything !

  6. 7
    Thats News says:

    Sometimes when I am writing an article I realise I don’t know something. I then do something the New Statesman editors can’t or won’t do. I use the phone or I email to my press office contacts.

    Simples! No, really, it is.

    • 71
      Sir William Waad says:

      It’s a rhetorical device. This Macintyre chappie is PRETENDING not to know these persons’ names to imply that they are nonentities. Guido in turn is pretending that he hasn’t noticed that Macintyre is pretending.

  7. 8

    “I can’t remember who their Tory opposite numbers are,…”

    You don’t have to remember! You can look it up or ask someone.

    • 11
      AnonyBot says:

      I think that that was an intended put down of the opposition spokesmen rather than ignorance but then again it could actually be downright journalistic laziness on his part ?

      • 25
        Arsely says:

        Greg Clark. Never heard of him.

        I wonder if Guido knows him. Yet another one from the SDP

      • 76

        Upon further review, I think it may have been an intended put down. If was the intention, it wasn’t worded very well.

        If Macintyre is serious about being a journalist, he should at least look up the names of the Tory opposite numbers, even if he affects lack of interest. These men will be forming the government before too long. Macintyre might counter that this is only if the “consensus” is correct.

        Does anyone seriously believe that Labour will win the next election? Considering the level of feeling in evidence on this blog and others, I would be utterly amazed if they did.

        Were I not living in America, I would happily take anyone’s money, at any price, on a Labour victory. (As it is I do live here and such practices are illegal.)
        Barring a mass epidemic in which only the stupid and deluded survive, it can’t happen.

        • 81
          jgm2 says:

          Barring a mass epidemic in which only the stupid and deluded survive, it can’t happen.

          Well I can point to a hundred or so constituencies where precisely that Black Swan event has happened.

        • 87

          Is it “deluded” or “delsional” by the way? I’d be grateful if someone could put me right.

        • 89

          Sorry. Meant to write “delusional”.

        • 110

          I’d go for ‘deluded’ in that context, Thomas – people can be deluded, but only their beliefs can be delusional.

          The line between the two is continually being eroded by sloppy usage, however.

          It’s refreshing to see someone taking care over the use of the English language – wish there were more like you.

        • 117

          Thank you for your comment, Paragnostic! It’s nice to be appreciated.

        • 186
          thick as thieves says:

          reading you deluded cretins write of delusion was highly amusing.
          thankyou. best laugh I’ve had in fucking ages.

        • 187
          Anonymous says:

          The putdown might’ve semi-worked if the tory peeps weren’t so well known…. but then I’ve forgotten the name who was saying it or who about in the time it’s took me to scroll down so they are hardly ones to talk!.

  8. 9
    P. Davies says:

    Ed needn’t worry about ministerial reponsibilities or even parlimentary ones at all after the next election. If he thinks he’s got a sfe seat he’s got another thing coming.

    • 181
      Sylvia's Mother says:

      I doubt that many Labour seats will be safe come the GE. A reversal of what happened in 1997 looks on the cards right now. Nothing more than they deserve the bigger the bloody nose the better. GB will go down in history as the worst ever PM and rightly so. The man is truly hollow piece of shit with absolutely no class or skill of any kind. He makes George Bush look like a true statesman enough said.

      • 190
        Hysteria says:

        can we really dream of a complete wipe out? God I hope so – the socialists have fucked up so many lives

  9. 10
    Rats and ships having difficulty staying afloat says:

    I have to laugh at how many comments on blogs today are proclaiming a certain Eric Joyce as some sort of principled politician ! Even some contributers who’s views I respect seem beddazeled by a skillfull chancer deserting a sinking ship.
    It is reminisant of comments which paint that odious wee bastard Robin Cook as a principled Politician. Nothing that fucktard ever did was not without calculation for his own advancenet. Whilst I rejoice that this is another nail in nu Labours Political coffin, lets not get carried away by Joyces desperate attempt in saving his own political career. £1 Million pounds in travel expenses remember !!

    • 18
      The Brown Liberation Army says:

      Has Purnell got anymore room in his flat ?Those meetings must get rather crowded with all those ex-Ministers trying to squeeze in to it at one time?

    • 26
      Reg511 says:

      Eric Joyce had form

      Major Eric Joyce, dismissed by the Army as `uncommandable’ after publishing a critical pamphlet without permission,

    • 80

      Even a flawed man can do the right thing from time to time. Joyce has shamelessly enriched himself at the taxpayer’s expense, but he has done the right thing here.

      • 84
        jgm2 says:

        Have you read his resignation letter? He praises Gordon Brown for his economic achievements.

        Doing the right thing would be:


        I’m ashamed that I lacked the courage to do this much sooner but I can no longer be assocaited with such a mendacious, incompetent, lying, corrupt regime of idiocy.

        You have fucked the economy, you have fucked our standing in the international community, you have fucked everything you have turned your fucked-up attention towards. I want no further part of it.

        You’re on your own.

        Yours, aye,


        That would be courageous and honest.

        • 111

          Your suggested letter would indeed have been more “courageous and honest” and I would never describe Joyce in these terms.

          All I meant was that a bad man has done a good thing and that he deserves to be congratulated for it. He has drawn valuable attention to Labour’s treatment of the army and their odd claims that our action in Afghanistan makes Britain a safer place.

          Joyce is wrong about the economy and Brown and Labour… and everything else, but he is right about this.

          I’m really hope Alan Sugar tries to sue me for this

        • 113

          Should be, “I really hope…”. I can’t write these days.

        • 178
          barefootcontessa says:

          He’s been a newlabour right hand man right to the wire. Could always be relied upon to defend newlabour like a robot. His expenses were horrendous, perhaps he was covering his back. Even today he was mainly praising the gorgon.

  10. 12
    Oculus says:

    I like to think I keep my finger on the political pulse but I don’t think I’ve ever heard of Andrew Mitchell or Greg Clark.

    Next year things may be different, of course.

  11. 13
    Shit-Bag says:

    Isn’t the former CBeebies political correspondent Polly Billington (yet another ex-Beeboid working for NuLab) of one Miliband’s SpAds? How many of them does he need?

    I dare say she will be welcomed back to White City with open arms when Miliband and his government are given le boot next year.

    Christ, what an incestuous bunch.

  12. 15
    School for Scoundrels says:

    To be sucking up to any Labour minister, just before they tip into oblivion shows an even looser grip of politics than not knowing the names of their shadows…

  13. 17
    shelling-out says:

    If Ed Miliband is a leader in waiting, I’ll go to t’foot of our stairs.

    Johnson, Miliband (D), and Harriet would also like to be PM despite their protestations to the contrary.

    Mandleson wants the job and a little upstart like Ed won’t stop him. Some poor bugger will be pulled out of their safe seat to make room for Mandy, so he can give up his seat in the Lords to get the job.

    It’s not beyond the realms of possibility that he could be esconced in No. 10 by early next year.

    May God help us all.

  14. 19
    The sucking sound of an arsehole says:

    Ah – the NooStatesPerson – a fount of wisdom an’ that, innit.

    Much like the Grouniad.

    Methinks it would do Millisquit and his followers much good to have a good dose of ‘BanglaBelly’.

    There’s always the Mansion of the Expenses Claimant to rest up in.

  15. 23
    Charles Flaccidwidger says:

    “these talented ministers, with so much to offer”

    Here comes lunch….

    • 50
      Anonymous says:

      Who’s our waitress?

      Why, it’s little Yvette.
      She’s a Darling.

      • 203
        Reichschancellor ( in-waiting and waiting and waiting ) Balls says:

        No, Darling is the Acting Chancellor.

      • 366
        RandyMuscle says:

        You sure she’s still a darling in the knowledge of who’s been “there” all these years? Doubt anyone would like to stir the porridge of the man who’s “proud to be socialist” – or d’ya reckon Gordon left his oats there too?! Makes me kinda….quake(r)….

  16. 29
    P1 says:

    Not surprsing that the New Statesman has low circulation when they print such risible drivel as this.

    Milliband (E), might well be brighter and better than Milliband (D), but that’s hardly a cheery thought for the rest of us given that we know that everyone we’ve ever met in our lives seems to be brighter and more capable than Milliband (D).

  17. 30
    Andy Carpark says:

    The only places where they read the New Statesman are Islington and the Forest of Dean.

    • 42
      tired and jaded says:

      Eh? Have you ever been to the Forest of Dean? They couldn’t read the cooking instructions on a bottle of milk.

  18. 32
    DisgustedOfMitcham2 says:

    Thanks for that Guido, a great laugh to brighten up my Friday afternoon.

  19. 37
    money pit says:

    “It is amazing to think that if the conventional wisdom is right, and Labour loses, these talented ministers, with so much to offer, will suddenly be out of a job.”

    Brown nosing is obligatory.

  20. 38
    SO17 says:

    NGO wankers, foreign despots and pisstaking EU officials are keeping their fingers crossed the consensus is wrong.

    • 86
      Ivor Schwartzporsche says:

      It doesn’t make much difference to the ordinary pleb whether Labour win or whether Dave does. That’s how it feels.

      • 197
        barefootcontessa says:

        That’s true, I’m totally confused…………

        ‘The rich have got richer and the poor have got poorer….and the vessel of the
        state is driven between the Scylla and Charybdis of anarchy and despotism.’ Shelley put the situation so well circa 200 hundred years ago.

  21. 40
    Bob the critic says:

    Is it me, or is the current batch in the cabinet really useless? I don’t mean can’t find your keys when they’re right in front of you kind of useless, I mean chocolate teapot or breathing holes on condoms useless?

  22. 41
    Dan Taylor says:

    “Let Down by NATO”- well worth a read!!

  23. 43
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Ed millibands spade?
    Fuck me I know that we all need a person to carry our bags and cut sugar cane , but I was under the impression that slavery had been abolished.
    New Labour = New Slavery
    At least Mcmental had a white slave in Ed Ballsup

  24. 49
    Lofa on the Sofa says:

    Either this is a joke or it’s not just Brown who needs an extended holiday with stronger medication.

  25. 52
    Captain Haddock says:

    “Macintyre” .. says it all really …

  26. 53
    caesars wife says:

    Suckin up indeed , they almost sound respectable

  27. 55

    I’ve had three lemsips today and can now see everything clearly. The scales have fallen from my eyes. We are being milked. Herded. Lulled like cattle. I think each and every one of us should adopt a new personal motto – “no more mr nice guy”. I dont’ want Brown and his wretched crew driven from office any more. I want them all dead.

    I want them shot, strangled, hanged, burnt, gassed, flayed, decapitated, dismembered, disembowelled, pureed, driven over the white cliffs like a flock of condemned sheep. I want them to die in plane crashes, car crashes, train crashes, milk float crashes. I want disease, accident, embolism and asteroid to wipe them from the earth. I want to see their graves, their tombs, the greasy spot on the pavement where the remains were scooped from. I want to see their grey mangled faces staring out from newpapers, tv screens, and waved on flags by cheering children.

    For treason, for war crimes, for corruption, for crimes against this country, other countries, criems against decency, logic, liberty and the english language. For the murder of serb make up girls, iraqi children, afghan villagers and wedding parties the world over, for the death of david kelly, every british solider, for the death of optimism and the english nation. I am judge, I am jury, I find them as guilty as anyone could be.

    I may be defined as some kind of terrorist for this, I really don’t fucking care. I’ve had efuckingnough. I’m mad as hell, and I’m not taking it any more.

    And Call me Dave? He can fuck off as well.

  28. 56
    tory boys never grow up says:

    Perhaps if MacIntyre had searched Guido’s archives he would have been better informed about Messrs Mitchell and Clarke. On the other hand perhaps he follows the rule of saying nothing when he cannot say something nice about someone!

  29. 61
    tory boys never grow up says:

    On second thoughts, MacIntyre’s article would have made its central point even more convincing (and funnier) if he had referred to the hapless teaboy and the founder member of “Tories for Polly Toynbee”

    • 66
      thickus thievus, tales of a cocksucking vampire says:

      “tory boys never grow up, but they’re going to be the next government”

      Now fuck off.

      • 211
        thick as thieves says:

        copy catticus,
        ah, I see you took the beating I administered to you earlier rather badly. oh well.
        and I thought that we had already established that you were the one who fulfilled the role of the cocksucker. get a new scriptwriter, there’s a good cripple.
        oh, and as you are new here I will bring you up to speed: thick as thieves is a hero so he is the one who kills the vampires: what I do is first I get hold of a few nice few pieces of 2×2 oak wood and I wittle the end of the stakes into a fine point then I hunt down the scottish vampire, you know, the one who drinks soldiers’ blood and when I have tracked the creature down I stick that fucking spike into the motherfucker’s heart and I keep stabbing and stabbing and twisting that wooden shaft into the satanists heart until I get right throught to the other side and I keep stabbing the warmongering c’unt until there is nothing left but a gaping hole and a really fucked up amount of flesh and arteries and grey looking shit splattered all over the carpet and walls.
        and then I wait. I will not leave until the motherfucker’s body has totally stopped twitching, beyond the point of the death rattle, beyond when the vampire shits its pants and pisses itself, and after all that has happened
        come the final death twitches.
        and when those stop and the monster is still it means the vampire is truly dead.
        it is a tough gig but it is God’s Work.

    • 67
      the saint says:

      Simon Dee said he was sacked by the BBC in the late sixties because he was opposed to the EEC, as was A.J.P.Taylor. Go to 13.30′ in.

      • 213
        Phil O'Pastree says:

        Well I’ll be ! Never did understand why Simon Dee was dropped as he was flavour of the month right up that point.

    • 77
      jgm2 says:

      In a few more months MacIntyre can refer to his ‘talented’ chums Miliband (P45) and Alexander (P45).

      Tee hee.

  30. 64
    nell says:

    Ed Miliband said yesterday that India would be a key player in the forthcoming Copenhagen global warming talks.

    Then he said that India would ‘not face targets to cut its emissions because it took climate change seriously.’

    Well he’s as big a moron as gordon!! Anybody who’s ever been to India, and I have, knows that its cities are amongst the worst polluted in the world.

    The man is a very ‘talented’ twit!!!!

    • 68
      hoy says:

      The word is twat nell.

    • 74
      The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

      Nell surely you typed ” I” instead of “A “when describing one of the Milliband clan?

    • 90
      Ivor Schwartzporsche says:

      Just one of their trains is equivelent to the former Battersea Power Station.

    • 97
      Fed up to the back teeth says:

      I just wish he would stop waving his hands around.

    • 126
      P.Davies says:

      Yea Mr Ed India don’t give two flying fucks for so called global warming – fyi the earth has epochs of warming and cooling or did that pass you fucking geniuses by at Oxford.

    • 216
      Phil O'Pastree says:

      All that crapping on the street must be seriously adding to the methane gases. I can still remember taking breakfast in a Bombay hotel – the smell of fresh human faeces wafting in through the open window after 8 million of them had just had their morning dump.

      Still ate all me bacon, like ;)

  31. 69
    Art. 38 says:

    …”NGO workers to diplomats to foreign politicians, are keeping their fingers crossed that the consensus will be proved wrong.”

    So what! Isn’t the the primary responsibility of British Ministers to look after the interests of Britain and its citizens?

    It may be in our interests from time to time to give international aid and encourage overseas development – like giving to charity we sometimes wish to do ‘good’ without expectation of a personal reward.

    However, Labour and its ministers have forgotten who they should principally serve. We will become very aware of this in a few years when the UK has insufficient electricity generation because of Milliband’s obsession with global warming at the expense of our own interests.

    • 73
      jgm2 says:

      Ahhh, but in a few months time all that will be somebody elses problem.

      Rising unemployment, massive government deficits, sterling crisis, fucked economy, rolling blackouts, higher taxes….

      Prescott and those other c-unts will be blaming Cameron. And Thatcher and Toynbee and MacIntyre and the rest of the c-unts will be doing the same.

      Just as, even today, they blame Thatch for the recessions and high unemployment when she took over. No mention of what idiocy lead to the situation in the first place. No. A perfect world when she took over.

      It’s beyond depressing. I have seen the future and it’s a re-run of the past.

    • 91
      nell says:

      Talking of which prezza’s has just dramatically expanded his carbon footprint by jetting off to China to lecture about reducing carbon emissions!

      You couldn’t make it up!!

      • 96
        jgm2 says:

        The Chinese are having a laugh. It’s a calculated snub to Cameron and possibly the entire UK electorate.

        How can the Chinese seriously think that useless salad-dodging, cock-waving, imbecile has got anything of any sense to say about anything at all? They might as well get Ant and Dec to go and lecture on global warming.

        It’s money laundering or bribery or setting him up with a bevvy of hookers to extort his support at some future point. It’s the only conceivable explanation. The Chinese are paying Prescott back for some service he has already rendered or bribing/looking to comprimise the arrogant buffoon for some service they’d like him to perform at some point in the future.

        What other explanation is there? What, in all honesty, can Prescott bring to the global warming debate beyond parrotting some shit from Al Gore?

        • 100
          Dick and Dom says:

          Sod Ant and Dec. We could have gone instead.


        • 207
          rick says:

          jgm2. Yes, this is all about laundering bribes for services rendered whilst in office. Maybe this is the system we deserve for our complacency. Anything good on TV tonight?

        • 286
          A Pensioner says:

          Maybe they want to take him to that restaurant that servers only penises?

        • 328
          LABOUR PEE'ER says:

          Two Arse IS The Uk’s BIGGEST Producer Of Methane Gas They Will Probarbly Shove A Pipe Up His Arse’s And Run a Power Station Off Him !

        • 329
          LABOUR PEE'ER says:

          286 Even if They cooked Him Properly They Coulden’t eat That Much Dick !

  32. 78
    Sir William Waad says:

    I must admit, I have a soft spot for Ed Miliband. It’s at the bottom of Muggleton Meadow, a nice boggy patch where the little chap could disappear without trace and cause no more anguish or loathing in a troubled world.

  33. 79
    LABOUR PEE'ER says:

    Guido: Give Us Another Topic Please !

  34. 82
    CJ says:

    So they’ll be “out of a job” if NuLabour lose the next election? Both certain to lose their seats? They really are expecting a kicking aren’t they. I’m sure neither will starve, Directorship at FTSE100 listed companies all round.

    • 88
      jgm2 says:

      Directorship at FTSE100 listed companies all round.

      NO!!! This has to be our next goal. Ensure that these worthless fuckers never work again. If any company offers them a directorship then we should boycott the company. We should buy a single qualifying share in the company and go en masse to their AGM and shout the fuckers down. And the other directors if they fail to get the message.

      Make the fuckers utterly unemployable. They have destroyed our economy for a generation. They have fucked up untold lives with their false promises, their bland platitudes, their false WMD and their false philosophy. They should be hounded to the grave. Each and every one of them.

      Let them survive on the profits from their property portfolio. And the dole.

      • 94
        Ivor Schwartzporsche says:

        Seconded. Absolutely the age of the internet is on our side. We have your CV’s!
        Hahahahah. Revenge is tweet

      • 133
        Captain Haddock says:

        Why should the lying, cheating scum be permitted to draw Dole ? .. Let ‘em sell their second, or even third homes .. or starve ..

      • 254
        Susie says:

        Oh yessss!

        Even if all they can do is return to teaching, write to the Dean to say you will not attend classes. If they work on Councils, refuse to pay Council Tax. If they hold directorships, sell your shares. Hound them, harass them — never give them a moment’s peace or security again for the rest of their sorry lives.

      • 295
        summer_Breeze says:

        I’d go along with all that, except for the bit about letting them live on the profits of their property portfolio’s.
        As far as I am concerned, those properties were obtained by fraudulant means and they should be taken away from them, sold and the money given to good causes.
        They should not be left with one single penny in their pockets, in the same way as they have left many good, hard working and honest people of this country.
        Actually strike that, just hand them all over to TaT and let him do what he likes to them.

  35. 83
    Dr Snot says:

    Come on Guido, you (and Dan Hannan) are just bitter and twisted because in the political scoop of the century Macintyre revealed that Obama thinks Cameron is a lightweight:

    • 85
    • 93
      nell says:

      Except of course Obama never said that it was in fact an invention of the journalist in question.

      You really should not believe the lies these lefties write. You’d be much better off getting your news on here or by reading the Daily Mail.

      Most of what you read then you will know is reliable and true.

      • 104
        Elder Statesman says:

        Obama is not exacatly a huge political force to be reckoned with himself, I dare say the only reason he got the job with so little experince was because of his skin colour and the general public being fed up of Bush.

        Cynical but true.

        • 108
          nell says:

          The democrats were actually afraid that his skin colour would work against him in the election.

          Personally, I think that it was more to do with the Americans hating Bush so much (much as we do gordon) and the not very successful Republican partnership of McCain and Palin, that won Obama his day.

          It is the same reason why Cameron will become the next PM, not because he will have won the election but because gordon will have lost it.

        • 142
          huey and dewey says:

          “Obama is not exacatly a huge political farce…..”

          Yeah but Gordon Brown is.

  36. 92
    LABOUR PEE'ER says:

    O/T Panda Eyes Darling Just Stuttered His Way through His Reasons Why capping Bankers Bonus Wont Work. His Reasons Are A fucking Joke Comming From Someone In His Position, They Are Probarbly Paying Him A Large Bonus To Back Off ! The Flipping Twat !

    • 99
      Doctor Richard Leatherbarrow says:

      Yes, quite.

      I saw this too. The man behaves as if he always has something to hide. Much like his leader, but I’ll come to him in a moment. Darling is never going to be affected by his dire economic policies. So he can say what he likes. He’s obviously on the side of his banker friends. He’s not interested in the little person

      Now, as for Brown. What a large lump of fudge this man is. From my observations over a period of time, and believe me this was not fun, I detect a sinister, ambivalent cruelty in the man. He is most odd when he is at his most normal. Given that he was not born rather manufactured out of old bicycles, rhubarb and granite, the man is in poor shape. His look, his mouth and jaw movements, his waddling walk. He has no presence yet everyone knows when he’s about. The man is an utter failure of human nature. Anything he utters is ridiculed by all around. he has people who wait on him from drivers, because he can’t drive, to maids whi change his underpants. He is a waddling drain on everyone he encounters. My recommendation would be that he is taken forthwith and firmly put in a disused beer barrel. The lid could then be secured on and he be rolled in it down Scafell Pike.

  37. 102
    looooooooooooopy says:

    This is only the start wait till they turn into rabid dogs when their out of power ‘TORY THIS, TORY THAT’ will be howled everyday of your lives thanks to the beeb and leftie outlets it’ll drive you mad.

    Lucky i am already mad, wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  38. 106
    new UKip leader says:

    UKip’s Nigel Fartaged quitting isn’t a political story ?

    Or the upcoming battle of the Giants between Mr Nutter and Mr Campnbell Bannannasman for the leadership ?

    Hear that sound ?
    It’s David Cameron laughing very loudly indeed as he escapes any Lisbon fallout as UKip falls into amusing internal squabbling once again.

    • 112
      nell says:

      Well of course Nigel Farage is going to stand against John Bercow in the next GE. Interesting development.

      But I did wonder why he would do that. Let’s remember Mr Farage has already troughed £2million out of the EU – so why would he want to enter Parliament where troughing opportunities are drying up (to a degree)?

      And if I were cameron I too would be laughing loudly. Watching gordon and his crew shoot themselves in the foot every other day is highly entertaining.

      • 121

        Farrago might have troughed £2 million out of the EU, but looking at his spivvy appearance, I think he’s spent most of it on the party.

        I’m glad I don’t live in Buckingham, though – the choice between a spiv and a slimy Levantine proto-socialist wouldn’t inspire me to vote.

        I’ll just be voting for Action Man (Gerald Howarth – short but perfectly loyal) here in Aldershot again, even if he is as bad a trougher as the rest of them (I could commute from here to Westminster, but Howarth claims the full second home allowance).

    • 122
      brussel-louts says:

      the laughing you can hear is also that of the EU lackies and corrupt thieves as they get to push lisbon through with no meaningful opposition
      cameron will twiddle his thumbs saying how frightfuly awful it all is
      but he certainly won’t call a referendum to stop it

      • 326
        Oh, My Quivering Tip says:

        At Least Farage Told Everybody On Question Time Exactly How much Money He’s Had Out Of The EU Which He Spends To Fund His Party ! I Dont Care If He’s Had 20,000,000 It Would Be A small Price To pay to Get Us Uot Of The FEDERAL STATE OF EUROPE Remember It Cost’s Us £44,000,000 Per Day To Be In The Club !

  39. 107
    Debt Nation says:

    Bottom falls out of Britain’s real economy. You won’t hear this on the BBC news:

    whilst the £1,000 car scrappage scheme has artifically boosted demand for small runabouts – greater than 80% of which are made abroad, Korean Hyundai/Kia company has taken 15% of all scrappage sales alone – sales of commercial vehicles have fallen through the floor.

    sales of vans in August fell by over 40% compared to Aug 08; sales of heavy trucks by 50% and sales of the largest tractor units(artics) by 60%.

    Real businesses and owner-operators are not buying as the demand in the real economy has not picked up through bailing out the bankers and is probably still falling. Paying out taxpayer money to incentivise the importing of billions of pounds worth of foreign cars is madness.

  40. 109
    James Macintyre's wife says:

    What a gay fish he is.

  41. 114
    Onan the Rotarian says:

    This may be mildly off-topic but it still relates to probable government manipulation of the media, not in an earth-shattering or overtly oppressive way but one that’s deeply worrying. Why has the News Quiz been removed from Radio 4? It’s been replaced by a totally anodyne and tightly controlled standard format quiz with no real political content at all, no serious criticism of politics and politicians and managed/presented by one of the most unfunny comedians on the radio.

    The bias in the Beeb and its continued failure to challenge the government isn’t news – but it really looks like they’ve decided that mordant, cynical, pungent criticism of Zanu can’t go on, even in a comedy programme. LIke Pravda ain’t it? Bollox

    • 127
      Anonymous says:

      isn’t this usually when the News Quiz takes a sabbatical ?

      certainly haven’t heard anything about it being cancelled
      it’s a ratings winner for R4 so it wouls be strange if it was

      • 132
        Onan the Rotarian says:

        Thank you Mr A, you have allowed me to give the situation a more charitable interpretation and to drop my level of paranoia a few notches (though it remains in the red). But I will still wait to see …..

        • 137
          Onan the Rotarian says:

          The worst thing is, the new one’s not even funny. Mostly dim nonentities doing classroom humour. Pshaw! Bedamned.

  42. 115
    Elder Statesman says:

    Nigel Farage was an establishment stooge from the start.

    Do you think a party like UKIP would honestly be allowed any ”serious” leash space in UK politics and the big three being happy about it?

    Strange how Cameron has never been worried about UKIP seeing it appeals most to old core tory voters like the B & P appeals to labour voters.

    Now we know it’s because Farage was a pawn that could be sacrificed at anytime.

    He was just a pawn elected and allowed a little rope to hang himself with EU expense claims so the big three would always have dirt on him to get rid of him if he strayed off message or posed a real threat.

    If all that failed then UKIP would of been torn apart by the media bombardments like the B&P gets.

    The B&P is on the track to be doomed now as well one hears on the grapevine as the two legal actions brought against them is projected to cost over a million quid.

    Welcome to the con of British Politics, three choices LIBLABCON, but remember who ever you choose…… the government always gets in.

  43. 119
    streamfisher says:

    G20, summit of the wealthiest nations, is this now measured by how much money you have borrowed? if so we must be Number 1, the Americans have ‘only’ clocked up a debt of about $20,000 per head ours stands at over $30,000 (this is just Government debt, not including personal debt). The French want a cap on the Bankers bonus culture which led to the financial crisis, Brown and Darling do not……WHY?.

    • 120
      Elder Statesman says:

      capitalism is the bane of communism.

      communism = happiness through slavery.

      • 123
        streamfisher says:

        But when you borrow money on behalf of citizens to Nationalise Banks and then still allow them to act carte Blanche = Communist Government but Capitalist Oligarchs, surely the worst of both Worlds, the only people smiling are those who have been rewarded for the biggest heist in History.

  44. 124
    Anonymous says:

    it’s because the British public love the Bankers and the City

    it’s obviously not because Darling is hoping for a cushy City Banking job with those taxpayer sponging criminals

    he’d then be forced to partake in some of those marvelous bonuses then
    most regrettable

    • 130
      streamfisher says:

      I’m sure that after all the Political fall-out suitable rewards will be given to a lot of ex- Labour M.P’s, why even fat boy Prescott will be employed as a non-executive director of some Bank, he can give them some feedback in the commodities division about Pukka Pies.

      • 147
        nell says:

        Nope. I have it from reliable sources that Prezza is re-inventing himself as the British Al-Gore expert on man-made global warming. He is lecturing on that subject in China as we speak.

        He has, he says, found a new calling, and his message on global warming is completely non-political!!!


        He obviously feels there is money for him to make on the lecture circuits from this subject after labour have lost the next election.

        • 155
          Prezza's Lecture Notes says:

          I’ll ‘ave double egg fried rice with chow mien,chop suey,three of those peeking ducks,prawn crackers,’alf a dozen spring rolls,and one of those little chinese waitresses with the hot towels.
          For afters,i’ll ‘ave the same again.

        • 170
          Prezza says:

          Av yer got any wrapped in pastry?

  45. 125
    Anonymous says:

    Never heard of either Tory referred to, in fairness.

  46. 136
    Agent 99 says:

    The Daily Mails Keith Waterhouse has died aged 80 after a short illness. Clogthorp Council is in mourning and has adjourned to the “snivelling coleman” public house for the last time before the doors are closed for good.

    A great writer who will be missed very much

  47. 139
    dejavu all over again says:

    I think we’ve been here before.

  48. 143

    And why should we be surprised at the “low circulation” Statesman, the quality of the journos, and their inane drivellings? Socialism: striving to separate supply from demand since, oh, at least 1918.

    • 146

      Moder schmoder – what have I said that’s wrong this time?

      • 149
        nell says:

        Well for a start if you’ve used the word b*nkr*pt that’s done it . The auto mod absolutely hates that word.

        • 155
          Engineer says:

          One or two others include the Party That Shall Not Be Named, but you can sometimes get round it by saying B&P or similar, and a country next door to Afghanistan, the first initial of which is ‘P’. Bizarrely, the name of a Radio 2 presenter whose initials are T W also gets the automod going. Though on second thoughts, maybe that’s not so bizarre. Also, don’t push your luck with alchoholic substances and the effect they have on human behavior.

        • 157

          I’ve done another commetn that’s been modded – quite bizarre, and of course I clearly can’t say what I said, if ye knows wot oi means…

          • nell says:

            Try not being a gordon and be inventive.

          • Anonymous says:

            inventive you mean like all those scottish engineers and inventors, as opposed those posh nigels called the English. By the way McNulty is English isnt he as is tessa Jowell and her criminal husband, bloody hell is it not about time we were rid of these morris dancers ?

          • spat says:

            Fuck off you haggis muncher mcduff or you going to bore us with stories about your shit over rated poet rabbie burns next?

          • Anonymous says:

            No need for that but I suppose you must be in a bad mood considering you scraped your knuckles to buggery dragging them along the ground on the way home from the pub last night. Fuck me as long are arseholes like you think the problem is the nationality of some of this Government as opposed its political philosophy which was conceived as much in Kensington as in Edinburgh, Like any fucken right thinking person with as much as two brain cells would see, then we are truly doomed to more of the same. Go back to your paedo porn and BNP meetings you prick !

          • RandyMuscle says:

            Oh, a socialist handling disagreement with style, once again!

            Political philosophy? Is that why Labour refuse to change the corrupt system where their Scottish MPs get a say on UK issues but not Scottish issues? And what have we got to show for 12 years of socialist extravagance, apart from the usual crap the Tories have to spend their entire time in power clearing up!

            How appropriate….anonmyous is a bit harsh, but accurate description of left wing socialist, commie garbage!

          • Anonymous says:

            Spat if your english you must be homosexual, thats true isnt it I mean its so obvious !!! Prick !

          • barefootcontessa says:

            McNulty could be Irish. Check. It’s not, anyway where they come from or what they look like, it’s their personality that can be grossly at fault.

          • Pigeon Pie says:

            who will play Douglas Alexander in Labour the Film?

            how about Leon Jackson?

          • Anonymous says:

            How about a spoiled wee brat who’s father was a disgrace to the Church having joined the ranks of ministers who no longer believed in the divinity of Christ thus reducing the church to a social work department and ripe for a marxist take over !

          • Bejesus… that could describe a stack of people currently in public life

  49. 144
    Private Bob says:

    Ello. Private Bob here, the latest in a long line of outstanding Labour Offense Secretaries.

    Sorry to go off topic, but I was so inspired by the PMs speech today about the war. Onward to V-A day in Afghanistan with Labour!

    What a turkey shoot! Killed a lot more of the blighters riding on those fuel tankers today. Good shot that man!

    What’s that you say? “Turkey shoot” is an American military term STRICTLY NOT for use in public? ‘Elicopters from ‘Ell! And I thought I was picking up all this military jargon so well.

    • 148
      nell says:

      I saw gordon’s speech. Very disturbing experience. Odd body language.

      He kept taking his left hand and placing it, fingers cupped , on the top of the lectern every time he tried to make a strong sentence. Then in between he kept taking both both hands smacking them on either side of the lectern, like playing a drum, in time with each syllable that he spoke.

      Watching him made me feel faintly sick. He looked very tired.

      This labour government is dying but far too slowly.

  50. 150
    Cheese Lover says:

    Surprised no one appears to have made anything of this, linked from the right of Guido’s page, or have I just missed it:

    • 153
      It could all go pear shaped says:

      I never realised that guacamole was potentially lethal. Does Gordon go to many buffets?

      • 161
        nell says:

        Horrible stuff. Always reminds me of green playdoh.

        • 166
          It could all go pear shaped says:

          If guacamole got rid of Brown, as his Party don’t have the guts to do it, would you like it a bit more Nell?

        • 171
          nell says:

          No!! I hate guacamole and I hate playdoh – horrible stuff – worse than mud -works its way into the carpets. Yuk!

        • 219
          barefootcontessa says:

          I like a nice smelly camembert, but it doesn’t travel well!

      • 167
        Engineer says:

        Mandelslime shudders at the mention of the word too, ever since he entered a Hartlepool fish and chip shop, pointed at the mushy peas and said, “Ooo, lovely; a portion of guacamole please.”

    • 154
      One Eye,One Ball,One Feuhrer says:

      It would explain a lot. How long before we have a “Whacko Jocko” moment. It’s his only face saving way out. He will not accept the fact that he failed. We can only hope that he doesn’t think us unworthy of his leadership,and opts for Gotterdamerung.

      • 191
        nell says:

        Well I hate to say it-

        I hope but I don’t expect , that this badly failed labour government are going to come to an early end.

  51. 162
    Has anyone see Mike Hunt says:

    Sir more twats for a twatish mag

  52. 163
    Engineer says:

    James MacIntyre – never heard of him. Clearly not very intelligent, though. Almost everyone in the known universe has worked out that Nulab are going to be booted out at the next GE, and some big names may well be Portilloed. Doesn’t seem very bright to align yourself with one that may suffer that fate; hardly a guarantee of a meal-ticket long-term. The man must be either a political lemming or a complete pillock. Or both.

    • 198
      nell says:

      Well Eng. I rather think that labour people still think they have a chance of winning the next election. Deluded or what??

      • 204
        Go back to your constituancy's,and prepare for a relaunch says:

        Or more likely the election after that. Give Cameron a few years to fuck up big time,and back they come with a vengance,like swine flu.

        • 210
          Engineer says:

          They hope. Even Bliar managed a second term (and to my amazement, a third). Cameron would have to really do something silly to miss a second term, he just has to be honest with the electorate.

  53. 164
    Pigeon Pie says:

    i wonder if Brown would improve hid judgement if you cut his balls off, I was thinking along the lines of the wire loops that you get on sacks of potatos

    • 175
      Veterinary Expert says:

      There are a number of suitable castration methods available. Take your pick:

      Possibilities are: instant surgical removal, the use of an elastrator tool to secure a band around the testicles that disrupts the blood supply, the use of a Burdizzo tool or emasculators to crush the spermatic cords and disrupt the blood supply, pharmacological injections and implants and immunological techniques to inoculate the animal against its own sexual hormones.

      Source: Wapedia

    • 176
      Engineer says:

      Or possibly those elastic band things that shepherds use for – erm – dealing with male lambs.

      Mind you, some of his facial expressions are bad enough without that sort of ‘therapy’.

  54. 168
    streamfisher says:

    I got modded for using the word…… Brown, but it was in conjunction with the words: sounds, like, a ,bell = dung. This was directed at our glorious leader and not intended to include other people of a different skin colour.
    God, its like posting on the Guardian.

    • 174
      nell says:

      Oh no – here is much more fun. Guido’s just teasing!!

      On the other hand I suspect his automod has got the upperhand on this blog.

  55. 183
    politically un-correct social worker(retired) says:

    most leftwingers assume that NGOs (mentioned in the quote) are a ‘good thing’ however they should see the International Policy Network report ‘Fake Charities’ – see the TPA website.
    eg The UK Dept for International Development gives big grants to Oxfam, VSO, Action Aid, and the NUT for stuff like ‘advocacy’ and ‘raising awareness’ taking place in the UK, not necessarily in poor countries. Such promotional activity is often directed at UK schoool children.
    According to this report, the TUC is also a recipient of this largesse from the taxpayer (sorry, the DfID) and of course the TUC then gives it back to the Labour Party.
    Am I missing something or is this a tad corrupt?

    • 194
      nell says:


      • 215
        politically un-correct social worker(retired) says:

        sorry I’ve lost it Nell but try the Taxpayers Alliance.
        The Fake Charities report also identified a new kind of body:

        the GONGO (!yes really)
        definition – a government organised non-government organisation
        (perhaps a cross between a quango and an NGO?)

        I’m new to blogging but I can ask WTF???

    • 200
      Engineer says:

      You are spot on. The Labour party currently has debts of about £24 million, so it has to get every penny it can by whatever means. This route doesn’t attract too much scrutiny – yet.

      The Charity Commissioners should be picking this up – it’s political activity. Wonder why they are going after independent schools and not this scam?

  56. 192
    Socialist Workers of Britain Triumphant says:

    But don’t you see that the fact we have an optically challenged,sexually repressed,drug fuelled,jaw plummeting,finger biting,snot eating,nappy shitting,lying,stealing,pissing up the wall,filthy,smearing,god driven,deluded,unelected,stinking sack of scottish shit,can reach the ultimate office of power,is proof that true equality has finally arrived. Our work is done.

  57. 193
    Mr Crabtree says:

    Streamfisher’s cast ended up in the reeds

  58. 195
    Pigeon Pie says:

    rumors are Brown is chomping on the Mono Amine Oxidase Inhibitors

    Unlike a Vampire who would need a silver bullet to sort him out, it appears Brown can be felled by a cup of Bovril

  59. 212
    Grandma B says:

    I was staggered to read in The Times, that the big employers in Birmingham (our once proud industrial heartland) are the University, Birmingham City Council and the NHS. Perhaps there’s an opening there for James.

    • 236
      nell says:

      1.5million people are employed in the British NHS.

      The biggest employer in the world – almost – second only to the Chinese Army.

      • 264
        Susie says:

        1.5 million eh? But can you get a local doctor out of hours? Answer is no. Can you see ‘your’ doctor without risking a couple of hours dead time in the surgery waiting room? Answer is no.

        To my mind the more GPs are paid the less work they do.

  60. 221
    thick as thieves says:

    look here you fuckers (apart from nell)
    you are confused so medidate on this:
    we must all know our place; nell is a lady, that is her place, just being a lady; engineer is a porn addict that is his thing, tuscan tony is also a porn addict, so porn is their place. they may be dirty old lecherous bastards but being addicted to pornography does not in itself make tony and the engineer bad people. does it?
    you see? it is simple, so simple innit.
    medidate on that motherfuckers.
    we must all know our place.
    I know my place, I am top boy.
    first lesson free.

    • 225
    • 229
      Grandma B says:

      It’s experience that counts TAT, particularly when dealing with people. Could I gently point out that you could have been just a bit more tactful? Please feel free to ask a senior citizen for advice on your interpersonnel skills. I look forward to hearing from you.

      • 232
        Grandma B says:

        Correction: interpersonal skills

      • 237
        Margaret Hodge says:

        It was his birthday yesterday. He’s maturing into a fine young psychotic,abusive,aggressive,foulmouthed,insulting,commentator on modern political affairs. He’s a credit to his many foster parents and the best social service intervention,money can buy.

        • 239
          Phil O'Pastree says:

          He’s a chav with internet access.

        • 241
          nell says:

          No I think you are wrong – you need to read into his comments a bit deeper.

        • 245
          Swingometer says:

          Tat persuading Nell of the benefits of a hung parliament of independants? Do i detect a sea change of opinion?

        • 343
          barefootcontessa says:

          Tat’s comments are usually quite hard to read, that’s because he binds the words with some good old English language. Calls a spade a spade. Forcibly puts his point of view, and invariablyb hits the nail on the head!

    • 233
      nell says:

      tat! What are you saying?

      Of course I’m not a lady. I am working class and proud of it.

      I played marbles in a hole we gouged in the grass verge outside my council house home when I was a child.

      And how can tony not be a bad person?

      I know my place tat – nowadays it’s looking after the others in my family.

    • 256
      Martin Heidegger says:

      what is this sad but amusing little creature talking about?

    • 310
      Danny Dire says:

      I am top boy

      You seem to be under the misapprehension that this is your blog. Also I bet you’ve never been the same since your mum/carer let you watch The Football Factory.

      You do make me laugh though.

    • 311

      Someone knocked TAT’s probe onto the orgasmatronic 60 volts setting: hence his buttock-clenching outburst. As for addiction, Tuscan rossos; Friuli, specifically Collio, biancos; women who look and move like galleons under full sale; Parma ham; fresh black figs, and of course last but not least proper beer. Not all necessarily at the same time though.

    • 324
      TAT is Tat says:

      Your only Top Boy when your Boyfriend says “its you turn on top” You vile tramp !

  61. 223
    barefootcontessa says:

    The gorgon’s doing the moderating tonight. Bless him.

  62. 226
    John Bull says:

    Any truth in the rumour that Prezza has been offered the lead role of Mr Creasote in the remake of The Meaning of Life?

  63. 231
    genghiz the kahn says:

    The Times playing catch up

    September 5, 2009

    Minister Kevan Jones ‘planned to chase army chief over expenses’

  64. 234

    Apparently The New Statesman is going through a major rebranding exercise and will end up with a shorter, snappier name.

    From now on, they’ll just call it ‘State’

  65. 240
    Patriotic says:

    Ed Millipede and Dougie Alexander talented,someone is having a laugh.
    Not only these two but the rest of the incompetant nutters who McMental calls a cabinet are just about capable of shovelling shite and thats about all.
    Did you know the russians developed a formula when they sent that dog into space it was C9P and that sums up this lot we have now,a load of piss artists.For those who have,nt figured it canine pee.

  66. 250
    Pigeon Pie says:

    what cup size is Gordon?

  67. 257
    Let us be hopeful says:

    Some remember.

    They do not dissimulate.

  68. 260
    Has anyone see Mike Hunt says:

    Mr fawkes i saw this and thought of you

  69. 261
    A vile parody of someone who claims to care for Britain says:

    It was’nae ma’ fult ye un’stn

  70. 271
    caesars wife says:

    CW rather enjoyed Ms Kirsty Walks newsnight , manged a good interview with the bluster of Darling , didnt quite get round to calling him a pointless waste of space, but nearly there , he has basically done sod all about welcome bounuses for state owned banks , and as Paul Mason pointed out another one of browns sentences that isnt worth a Dime . At least madame legarde has some grit , it would seem some elegance and brains as well .

    Heiffer thinks its high noon for Bercow come elction time , perhaps there is such a thing as political justice !! LOL

    Straw decides to tell the truth , but apparently the PM didnt know , mmm still doesnt explain his previous knowledge from other sources or his lack of view .

    Ruin plays international card , sidekick Darling blows it all , merv points to Menue on G20 finance lunch for Darling “spatch cock chicken chancellor !”

  71. 281
    Anonymous says:

    Please help! In the next few days I may have the opportunity to ask Ed Balls a question. Any suggestions?

    • 296
      summer_Breeze says:

      Yeah, ask him if he has any preference as to what colour rope we should string round his neck, come the revolution?

    • 300

      What his last meal would be.

    • 316

      1. Did he change is name to that by deed poll?

      2. Was meeting Yvette love at first sight, and if so, why?

      3. What attracts him to be a cheerleader for a system such as socialism which appears to be (apart form a few small loon-pockets dotted about the globe) largely discredited?

    • 332
      Agent 99 says:

      “Why do you an your party treat the British people with such utter contempt?”
      You won’t get an answer on that so suggest this one.

      “Having never visited the Planet zog can you explain in a few sentences what its like there?”

    • 348
      I'll have some of that says:

      Which is your main residence, and why?

  72. 281
    Anonymous says:

    Morris dancing conspiracy at the heart of the UK Government. It can be exclusively revealed that the majority of Cabinet members are in fact ENGLISH which proves that an ENGLISH raj is operating at the heart of Government.
    Nigel Mincer of the “letsblameitallonthejocks” Party says the fact that the vast majority of the Labour Party are in fact ENGLISH is neither here nor here, the important thing is to find a number of members who are Scottish and blame it all on them ! The rest of the world distanced themselves from this fuckwitted position however.

    • 356
      barefootcontessa says:

      What’s wrong with Morris Dancing? An open air, healthy, colourful kind of a dance that is perpetrated in the heartlands of England. Mainly by men, mainly in Essex, and doing no harm whatsoever! How else would you be able to see men wearing flowers in their hats, waving sticks with bells on them, and waggling their legs in the air?!

  73. 287
    McMENTAL SAY'S says:

    Allmost All The Priministers Since The War Have Gone Down In History For Doing Something Great To be remembered By. This C*nt Has Done FUCK ALL ! And will Only Be Remembered As The Most Hated PM In History ! Oh And The Fact That He Was NOT Elected !

  74. 290
    caesars wife says:

    LOL lib dems have done a conservative history vid , has hardwidge productions inc all over it

    blueblighter has done one on labour

  75. 291
    caesars wife says:

    LOL lib dems have done a history of conservatives vid , has hardwidge productions inc written all over it

    blueblighter has done one on labour

  76. 292
    McMENTAL SAY'S says:


  77. 305
    mitch says:


    “The Prime Minister of Great Britain is a man too ill to be holding the Office.” This was the conclusion last week of a senior civil servant liaising regularly with Gordon Brown. For reasons which will become clear, the person involved will not go public with the evidence for this conclusion. The same applies to a high-ranking Treasury official who told us “In both a physical and mental sense, the Prime Minister is a very sick man, seriously disabled.” Three years ago, an Opposition MP told nby “He is on extremely heavy doses of cutting-edge anti-depressants, but so far they have made little difference”. And during the last fortnight, another high-ranking government source claimed “He is now on pills which restrict the foods he can eat and what he can drink. He is losing the sight of his good eye quite rapidly. It’s a mess, and nobody knows what to do”.

  78. 314
    The October Horse says:

    Kevan Jones behind Eric Joyce’s decision to quit after being overheard to say he was “gunning” for Sir Richard Dannatt and would “get him” over his criticisms of MoD

    • 322
      nell says:

      I wonder when General Sir Richard Dannatt’s book is due for publication? Would be good if it was before the next election.

      • 336
        Anonymous says:

        smear its in labours DNA they can’t help themselves. Hopefully that little shit Jones will be on the first lampost

  79. 321
    "Speak for England - Arthur !" says:

    Brown is no longer a disaster for the Labour Party he is a disaster for the Country. He needs to go and go now. The damage he has done to this country and will continue to do until the electorate remove him at an election is considerable. The final act that this Cabinet of Pygimies can do is find their courage and for the sake of the country remove Brown as Prime Minister,an office he is totally unfit to occupy

  80. 330
    Agent 99 says:

    “More than half of Britons admit they do not think they are saving enough towards their retirement, a survey shows. Around 55 per cent of people said they were either currently not saving enough or they were having to face up to the reality of not having saved enough into a pension in the past, according to insurer Friends Provident”

    A couple of points here.

    1) Brown destroyed all 3 of my pensions so despite commencing paying in 1976 I get next to bugger all out of it.
    2) Would love to put more away for retirement however it does two things
    a) It just gives this moron another pension target and any benefits I get would be limited

    b) If I save on the side I then have to use it if I loose my job thus negating any benefit whatsoever while assiting this government evade its responsibilities to provide any support that I have already paid for.

    This is the reality of the situation after 12 years of Labour rule. Hanging is too good for them.

  81. 333
    Has anyone see Mike Hunt says:

    Mr Fawkes it seems there is some good news

  82. 338
    Agent 99 says:

    This is an interesting development after Mandlebums statement

    “Justice Secretary Jack Straw has admitted that the prospect of trade and oil deals with Libya played a part in the release of Lockerbie bomber Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed al-Megrahi.” In an interview with the Daily Telegraph, Mr Straw said the issue of trade played “a very big part” in his decision to include Megrahi in a prisoner transfer agreement in 2007, adding ” I’m unapologetic about that.”

    “Oh what tangled webs we weave when we practice to deceive”

    It should be the Nu Labour motto.

  83. 339
    Agent 99 says:

    This is an interesting development after Mandlebums statement

    “Justice Secretary Jack Straw has admitted that the prospect of trade and oil deals played a part in the release.” In an interview with the Daily Telegraph, Mr Straw said the issue of trade played “a very big part” in his decision to include this within prisoner transfer agreement in 2007, adding ” I’m unapologetic about that.”

    “Oh what tangled webs we weave when we practice to deceive”

  84. 341
    Agent 99 says:

    Ok tried 3 times about the Telegraph news about a certain prisoner exchange why am I being modded off. Removed anything that might even be considered offensive not that it was in the first place.?????

  85. 357
    barefootcontessa says:

    Who the hell has taken over the BBC? Last week the duplicitous Alistair Campbell on radio 4, and this morning the duplicitous Cherie Blair washes up with her choice of music! The former bastard would have destroyed the BBC if he’d had his way, and she pretends to be the all loving loyal liverpool housewife and human rights lawyer, when in fact she’s a grasping money grubbing insincere badly dressed bit of low life. I really resent having to pay them to pollute the air waves.

  86. 368

    from NGO workers to diplomats to foreign politicians are keeping their fingers crossed that the consensus will be proved wrong.

    It’s nice to see Mr Macintyre following NuLabour tradition by basing his prognostications on a survey of a completely unbiased sample population.

  87. 369
    Anonymous says:

    Hilarious, all those calling the New Statesman a New Labour propaganda rag. Has anyone actually read the blog currently being commented on? Bunch of Tories agreeing with each other, afraid to actually produce any real arguments apart from snivelling snarky jibes at Labour. Just like what passes for the modern Tory party.

    Order, order: where fact-based journalism goes to die…

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”

Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.

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