The Perfect Guardian Article
This article complaining that the “compare the meerkat” ad is racist is possibly the ultimate Comrade Blimp article. There is some suspicion that it is a piss-take. Even the headline is too good.
Via Tory Bear.
D Miliband: Coulson Must Go – Politics.co.uk
Taxpayers Funding Palestinian Propaganda – Wall Street Journal
More to Come For Hague – Ben Brogan
Hague’s Bedroom Boob – Quentin Letts
What If Hague Resigns? – Iain Martin
Please Don’t Be Gordon – LobbyDog
Has Hague Put a Nail in His Coffin? – Express
Nice People Take Drugs Deck of Cards – Guardian
Hague Baffles Conservatives – Ben Brogan
Liddle Dick Syndrome – Anna Raccoon
David Miliband Doesn’t Visit His “Favourite Chippie” – FactCheck
Hancock’s Russki Researcher & Scented Candles – PoliScrapbook
 |
 |
 |
| |
 |
Quentin Letts talking about Blair’s book on Sky News:
“It’s a dreadful book… don’t buy it Britain!”
Flat – No Positions +38.2%
As of 26 Mar 2010
GOOD MORROW BEVERY ODDY
Have a beercan sandwich and get over it
January 20, 2009 Presidential Inauguration U.S. debt = $10,626,877,048,913.08
*
ASTA
If he bought an english bride instead of an Ukranian he wouldn’t have had this problem
Alan Partridge must be furious that he didn’t exploit his own Ukranian bird to get free publicity in the toilet roll that is the Guardian.
If I was Peter Jones’ girlfriend, I’d dump the twat.
I would also hazard a guess that he may occasionally wet the bed.
If he’s got one them Mailorder girlfriends then he could always send her back and ask for one who is less sensitive. My experience of Ukranian birds is that they are much tougher than Joneseys’.
Return to sender.
Seeemples!
I find it somewhat appropriate that a Grauniad journalist should have a Ukranian g/f who is so easily offended by an ad taking a spoof of an accent.
fucking poof. get your tits out luv.
I rather suspect that the individual concerned is in some way linked to VCCP, the advertising agency responsible for the CTM adverts.
Ukrainian girlfriend?
Are her papers in order? Does she have a visa? Or just big tits?
Stupid cnut.
Patronising stupid Hoon you mean?
What a fucking class-A nob-head this so-called ‘journalist’ is. Twats like that should be kicked out of the country.
Peter Jones he a fooking acehole if ever there was one tosser
Scrap all anti-discrimination legislation.
FFS
Exactly! They just need to get a life
Unfortunately the Grauniad is the BBC’s bible.
The Two Meercats in the add must have been trying to fit the buget soft wear in to the Chinook helicopters !
What a twat. No doubt he also finds the “Foxy Bingo” ads offensive to northerners……….
Best comment I’ve read…
spectreovereurope 22 Aug 09, 3:15pm
hermionegingold-
“Don’t forget it was on behalf of his girlfriend. Some blokes will do just about anything to get laid.”
There are some great comments……… this one struck a chord:
MrSilver
22 Aug 09, 4:49pm
“I still can’t stop posting…
I feel like a kid on a beach poking a jellyfish with a stick.
guardian.co.uk is one of the most visited news sites on the planet.
I just can’t believe that given the enviable soap box of CIF, to express your views from and with all the hate and racism and suffering in the world, you know “actual bad things” you chose this as your topic.
And relax…
Another gem from MrSilver…
I just can’t stop thinking about this.
This article is so stupid it makes me want to find out where Mr Jones lives and follow him around all day in a Meerkat suit and dressing gown till he admits he was being silly!
Fuck the meerkats.
You mean, people usually don’t?
Only you ducky, and then only when you’re wearing the empty family-sized Dorito’s bag over your head
Under the fucking thumb
RIGHT THATS IT THEN ! Gordon You Must Ban Without Delay ALL Pink Panther Movies ,The Swedish Chef Of The Muppets All Episodes Of Allo’ AlloA etc And Any English waiters Who put On An Italian Accent Shuld Be Taken Out And Shot !
SORTED !
Meester Chones, he go chrazy!
We get the drift
Que?
I know norffin….
No more Castlemaine XXXX adverts then.
Appalling stereotyping of women drinking sherry. Peter Jones where are you? We need you to come to the rescue of ALL Australian women who have been deeply upset by the Castlemaine XXXX adverts. And while you’re at it, you should complain on behalf of Sir William too because I bet he wears a smoking jacket around the house and doesn’t like being sent up by a meercat either.
Dam Busters Black label…….Had it all in one single advert
Perfick!
Pathetic guardian. I
t’s a failed labour spin story attempting to deflect attention away from the mystery of the missing pm.
If You Want To Find A Pile Of Shite Look Behind A tree !
He’s surfacing to belabour the Israeli PM today.
Watch out, Netanyahu, dead sheep incoming!
Ve are votching you carefully…
Now Now No Need To Be Racist !
What a Kyunt!
This guy is such a numpty…………… he has now generated loads of media presence for the supposed racist meerkat company.
And That PY Gerbil that used to run the dome ! sounds like a meercat but is actually a frog ! The Dome ! Another Great LABOUR Success !
How about all those film villains with fruity English accents? Hollywood is institutionally racist so I suggest we ban all movies forthwith.
no Racism in America They Have Freedom of Speech !
“You are free to answer our questions. Should you fail to exercise this freedom, we will kill your wife and children.”
“you are Free To Answer These Questions. Should You Fail To Do So We Will
Give You A House
Pay you £500 per Week
Give you A car
Educate Your Childern
Give You Free Access To Health Care
And If Any Of The Natives Utter A Word
Free Legal Advise And Lawyers To Sue The Bastards For Even Thinking That You Should Not Be Here !
And If They Try To Remove You !Thousands Of Pounds In Compensation For The Cheek Of The Bastards !
BAN EVERYTHING!
Yes, fuck the meerkats and the MSM. Banksters are safe in corrupt shithole UK:
American Judge tells Bernanke’s central bank to tell who got all the taxpayer dough:
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=afi7TJiJFys0
Germans horrified public borrowing has hit €17.3bn(£15bn) for first half of ’09. UK’s borrowing for first half of year around £100bn or around £130bn scaled up for comparative size of GDP.
Hoax or not, one of the best things that has ever appeared in the Guardian. Remember, it’s not only the right that despises the rag’s wet liberalism – the left detests it to.
Re what Ginger & Proud says, as an Englishman, I find it thoroughly tedious that the baddies in Hollywood movies are always either English or played by English actors.
Cause As We All Know The Yank’s Are All Good Guy’s !
From now on it will be Scotsmen strangling babies and threatening to nuke Washington with a dirty bomb.
So what’s wrong with a bit of stereotyping? The British ‘bit’ actors in Hollywood aren’t complaining, it’s all acting work after all.
This Grauniad ‘meerkats’ story is so obviously a piss take I can’t believe we are commenting on it. No newspaper, I repeat NO NEWSPAPER, would ever dare to associate themselves with such a stupid, facile, nonsensical piece of schoolboy journalism as this. NOT EVEN THE GRAUNIAD.
Trouble is its well known that the Guardian has no sense of humour whatsoever.
The Guardian has become a cesspit of overflatulent, bigotted, cronyistic, labour loving vomit with a sweet potato on top to prove it’s green credentials and neo-liberal stance on anything mandelson demands.
So you can detect a piss-take in the Grauniad M’Lud but you can’t detect one here?
Are you suggesting that all these comments and threads are not serious?
If that’s the case, I’m not playing any more.
It starts with the Disney classics, teach them young
I disney ken what yor talking about!
There are some super comments on CiF. My favourite:
Oh ffs. I find all the political correct lemon-sucking pursed-lippedness offensive to dog’s bottoms.
All TV ads are offensive, by their nature. On the odd occasion when Lady Waad wants to watch the television, we always turn the sound off during the ads. That way you can avoid any upsetting comic accents.
Presumably you bought Lady Waad over the internet from the Ukraine?
It took me days to get the hang of what the advert was blithering on about – so 1 out of 10 for concept accessability. And the more I see the meekat adverts the more I hate them…
If they dressed up as soldiers would that be an example of meerkat forces?
claps
That Is The Whole Point MARKET FORCES
MEER KAT FORCES DOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Jones puts one in mind of those people who would (and, maybe, if they’re like him, still do) complain about the authenticity of many of the Bronx-type accents which seemed to abound in those 50s and 60s Hollywood biblical epics.
Perhaps they thought that all players should have spoken like the welsh actor, Hugh Griffith, who, bizarrely made up as Sheikh Ilderim (the chap whose horses pulled Ben Hur’s chariot in that famous race) with what appeared to be lashings of Cherry Blossom brown, in what he imagined was an ‘Arab’-speaking-English (American? See how difficult it is, Peter) accent lines like, “Balthasar is a good man. But until all men are like him, we must keep our swords bright!”
FFS what accents did the the righteous complainers think would be appropriate for various shepherds, galley slaves, centurians, and Pharaohs’ masters of household?
Give me strength.
Talwin, do you remember “Oh, fight, fight, fight! That’s all you ever think of, Dickie Plantagenet!” Virginia Mayo…
….or the now iconic “Yonder lies da castle of my fadder da king” (Tony Curtis – The Prince who was a Thief): or the oeuvre of Victure Mature who is reputed to have said “I’m not an actor; I’ve got sixty-four films to prove it”.
Wonderful stuff.
Victor, even.
What about uberScot Sean Connery then? He manages to play every character with an Edinburgh accent and a lishp. An Irish Chicago cop, a Russian submarine commander, an American archaeology professor to name but three!!
Has anyone asked the gorgeous Shami Chakrabarti what her take on this obvious display of racism is?
When I see her I get all into a leather
a leather what?
If it turns out that we are all ‘born again’ … in my next life … I shall marry Shami Chakrabarti… Sadly she is spoken for in this one.
On your bike, Bandersnach, the doe-eyed lovely leftie is mine, all mine in the next life. You’ll have to settle for the meerkats.
Party strategists are drawing up plans for “compassionate cuts” to reduce the soaring public debt without hitting front-line services.
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23736292-details/Brown+to+outline+big+cuts+as+Tories+take+16+poll+lead/article.do
“Brown’s cuts are compasionate cuts…”
I’m sure there is a misplaced consonant.
This stands alongside Broon’s “an increase of 0% for 2011″ as a modern day Goldwynism, without of course any of that that excellent man’s other talents.
“Brown’s cuts are compasionate cuts…” another catch phrase to add to the list, how many tax payer funded spin-merchants did it take to come up with that gem?
The compassionate cuts will be about as honest and well-received as Megrahi’s ‘compassionate’ transfer to libya
37
The obvious question to ask of Gordoom is, if he is able to make “compassionate” cuts, why did he spend the money in the first place?
Or why his are compassionate and anyone elses will kill a zillion baybees…
oowwe fuck
I didn’t think of that…
damn
blast!!
They would be if they gave him the “Glasgow Grin”. Compassionate to the rest of us.
Cuts!
Whole Hazel Cuts!
Brown he make ‘em,
And cover dem wiv chocolate
“Brown’s cuts are compasionate cuts…”
OMG, I forgot the ‘n’.
Was Sebastian Faulks being a racist when he described the Koran as being the rantings of a schizophreniac?
Or was he just being a silly meerkat? (Faulks that is)
In my day job I sometimes commission articles for a small magazine publisher. I would have sent his 606 word article back. And suggested that satire is clearly not his strong point.
I Would Guess That The Accent Is Because That Is Where The Animal Comes From ? Wrong ! This Is Like A Zeebra Talking Welsh !
Yes, you are very wrong.
THE WORLD EXPERT ON EVERYTHING HAS SPOKEN ! Look For The Word Wrong ! Found It Oh Good No Need To Cast Your Expert Advice On It Then !
so what about ‘Creature Comforts’
I really like the Geordie Mouse whose friemd wouldn’t swap his leg for a Geordie accent
I’ve never quite understood why an African animal should have an Eastern European accent, so maybe I’m not as bright as I thought I was.
I don’t mind the Meerkat ads, but I do get mightily sick of hearing American voices in British ads.
The Meerkat’s ancestors moved to Russia. It’s a story of migrants doing well. Or is THAT what offends Jones and his young lady?
Americans on the big and small screen dont speak English, they mumble a degraded version of it, of course my hearing could be getting worse as I tumble headlong into decrepitude and wrinkles.
What was dear? can you speak up please!
Ill get my coat.
Wait, Liverpool is in the US?
fuck the yanks
Pyotr have nervous meltdown….( he already have polyps!).
We are Titsoff!
Syimples.
Has Pyotr been prostated by his polyps then?
I meant prostrated- can’t think why I typed prostated.
Hitler offended by references to his lacking of a testicle. WW2 cancelled as Grauniad believes he has a point. Polly Toynbee appointed CGS and army of sociologists advances on Berlin.
And they all die!
LOL
That peter jones bloke must be loaded to have a full time ukrainian girlfriend all the ukrainian girls round our way want £150 per hour !
Peter Jones does have loads of money ! Its allways on the table in the Dragons Den !
How would you know?
Errr How would i know what !
Probably aimed at 48, Tel.
Has Jones really got nothing better to occupy his time?
Grow up, man.
I bet Brown comments on this way before he comments on;
1. Lockerbie bomber
2. Further deats of brave service men in Iraq
3.Afghan election
Coven of wankers alert – they even want to ban glass glasses in pubs – is there no end to this coven of wankers fucking up this island.
What will Brown say about this, huh?
You don’t like your padded cell?
They Covered This On 5 live Yesterday The best Suggestion Was To Drink Beer via A Large Soup Plate Bolted To The Bar And A Big Spoon !
My Ukranian girlfriend is 14 years younger than me and we make love twice a day. Jurassic Park.
Yes i could do it twice a day when i was twenty as well !
Sometimes I doth venture South….and I have to say, it’s like a breath of fresh air.
Come on Sonja….let’s be appalling.
I expect he’s trying to earn brownie points so that his bird will suck him off later. Holier than thou cock.
I would expect meerkats to have a South Ifrican iccent.
Hell of a country that Ifrica
We should be sensitive to the concerns shown by Peter Jones for his girlfriend’s feelings. She may have a valid reason to be upset by the advertisement.
We should also look for a future article about him in the Darwin Awards.
http://www.darwinawards.com/
What’s that programme on BBC 1 that’s just started, clips of animals are shown from the entire planet which are overdubbed with voices that are predominantly Geordy although they do stay to true to continent with Rolf Harris as he always does the Koala ones (don’t know what the Koala bears think about that).
Is It Badly Dubed Porn ?
No its just badly dubbed.
It started in Bristol Zoo.
Exactly, there all the animals were British born and bred (or awaiting naturalisation), so may well have spoken, if they were able, in an accent not too dissimilar to yours.
The Lemurs were Italian.
The author says, “She told me that people from eastern Europe were brought up in a society where it was not normal to complain, especially to such sectors as the government and the media.”
Yes, in the socialist paradise of Ukraine from ~1917-1989 it was very likely that complaining would lead to either a bullet in the back of the head, starvation, deportation to the Gulag or consignment to a mental institution (depending on the whim of the Party and your arresting NVKD/KGB officer).
In the 1930s, Soviet genocide in Ukraine killed at least 2.5 million people. Who knows how many more Ukrainians died, or were never born, during the rule of the USSR?
One would think that complaining about socialism/communism might be a more worthwhile activity than whinging about comedy accents.
Art. Thank you for that perspective and you’re right. If I was her I’d be enjoying the funny adverts on our telly and looking on the bright side that we have more than one channel and there fore choice.
As i posted a few days ago in an historical context , what a waste of time resources and peoples lives communism will turn out to be .
A big idealogical mistake , for bullies and poorley educated countries .
and labour desire it here , they can bollox
During this time the Gruniad was writing articles extolling the virtues of the Soviet Empire.
Does anyone know who Evan Davies is and does he have any body piercings? He was on the Today programme this morning. Guido wants to know. Thanks
Body piercings – as in bullet holes ?
Please tell me you’re joking
Presedent of Monster Technologys ?
Compare with this article, http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2009/may/02/andrew-sachs-actor-interview-sachsgate where they heap glowing nostalgic praise on the racist potrayal of a spanish waiter about a generation ago. How does the who song go?
“I’m not trying to cause a big sensation
I’m just talkin’ ’bout my generation”
Sometimes I wish those hypocritical control-freaks would just fade away.
606 words on this non-subject, when the real story is surely the case of the missing Scottish Prime Minister?
Where’s Wally oops, I mean Where’s Gordon?
Shsss! just all pretend nobody has noticed, Gordon Who?
Heh! Oh, yeah! Hang on, maybe he could go by his real name? James Brown? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvJH8-E-h0A
Oh. Not that James Brown? Mind you, at least her did turn up to be interviewed. Stewed like a pan of prunes, true, but at least he turned up.
Not….Fade Away?
126 Buddy Holly On Guido ? That’ll be the day !
Plagiarist
The only time anyone viewing this blog reads the Grauniad is when someone points out something as stupidly PC or labour brown-nosing as this.
The Grauniad will be one of the first dead trees press victims along with the Independent.
reading the Grauniad is on par with watching Katie Price (Jordan) as pointless and irrelevent and only being kept in our faces by sensational rubbish like this.
Just ignore them and they’ll go away
I know from a naturalist friend that screwing humans is a habit among Ukrainian meercats.
They creep into humans’ beds at night and spray an anaesthetic from a gland just under their tail, before getting down to it.
The victims just think they’ve had a masturbatory dream.
Perhaps this is what’s worrying the Guardian journalist.
His girlfriend may well have been a victim at some stage.
Or his girlfriend may BE a Meerkat! How scary would THAT be?!
Complaint clearly written by by a sad loser with no life. Its an absolutely brilliant add, without doubt the best on TV at the moment.
Just wait for the Industry Awards.
Simples
Congratulations, twat.
You were the first person here to utter this inane phrase.
Your mother must be so proud she brought up a child with no imagination.
…while you appear to have been brought up to slag off while remaining anonymous. Cool.
What difference does a name like “Sniper” or “Talwin” make to “Anonymous”.
Fuck all.
You’re wrong.
1. Guido knows who I am;
2. In a forum like this where you’ve never met the people involved, nor are you ever likely to do, monikers such as Talwin or Sniper are just as effective as identifiers as John Smith or Bill Bloggs.
Not quite the same with ‘anonymous’.
FFS Peter Jones should get a sense of humour, sado. What’s a Ukranian doing with this loser?
Grauniad sinking into dead-tree grave soon. We’ve reserved a place, infront of all other poor victims.
P.S. Obvious the article’s a wind-up, but Grauniad still sinking.
What I want to know is why the meerkats speak in a Russian accent. Meerkats are native to Africa but I suppose a meerkat saying: “The baas wants to know why de peepuls is always coming to comparethemeerkats.com.” would cause a bit more of a furore.
I accuse you of not having thoroughly read this thread.
I thought so too!
Maaan, oil jist attich thees woires to ees tisticles, lekker, ay?
Why are you typing in a Rhodesian accent?
Whoosh!!!
Is thees fur real?????
We start neuw website.
comparethecomrades.com
Seemples!
“Compare the Me-ah-kat” is strong-geordie pronunciation of “Compare the market”.
An advert based on this confusion had been pitched before but rejected on the belief that the tv audience wouldn’t be familiar with Geordie and so the meerkats were born.
If the original ad had been made, Geordies would have found it funny and had a giggle.
I’m starting my own website – comparethemerkins.com
Don’t forget the Forn Terrists
Thank you Guido, that’s why I come to your blog. I’ve laughed through nearly all the comments here.
The guy does have a point though in pointing out the hypocrisy of the PC brigade. They wouldn’t have a “slinky eyed” meerkat or one with a “chupatti” accent.
1. Create stupid advert
2. Realise either nobody is watching or nobody knows what it is about
3. Call tame bloke on CIF and get him to write stupid article
4. Wait for the publicity.
5. Profit!
Ooh, ooh, ooh. You cynic. I’m quite sure this man believes every word he has written and in no way has churned out this shite to get more traffic to the site and some interest in some company and its moron delighting promo campaign.
cf everything La Toynbee and Dame Micheal has written in the past five years.
I hate that ad because it reminds me of the Polish twats who fucked up my garage roof because they were fucking useless cowboys, not the multi skilled wonderful highly trained tradesmen these labour party bastards are forever going on about, believe me ,we don’t need the skills of these useless wankers.
If your builder employs poles, tell him and them to fuck off.
You’ve only got to look at their country it’s falling to fucking bits !
So join the Eu And They Will Rebuild It For You Using Skilled Labour
Whilst All Your fucking useless shit head cowboys go to England and destroy it !
We only want to be nice….. and loved
It started in the American Meerkats
I ave peoples calling me up all the time ,looking for honest goverment , you dont want stalinseupolicestate.com , not even sound same as ukip .
simples
You also win the idiot award for repeating this inane phrase.
Tool.
Are you the same anonymous that got stroppy at 133 and 148, or are you a different anonymous?
Probably the same anonymous who doesn’t know the difference between a word and a phrase. And whose only contribution is to sit on the sidelines and snipe.
Compare the…
Harman : Compare the… Mere Crap
Prescott : Compare the… Beer Tap
Alan Johnson : Compare the… Speed Trap
Kenny MacAskill : Compare the… Total Sap
Gordon Brown : Compare the… Queer Chap
Ed Balls : Compare the… Sheer Twat
One of the most outrageous sense of humour failures I’ve seen for a very long time.
Grauniad readers. Simple.
It sounds like him and Olga have got their heads stuck firmly up each others arse (way past the shoulder, almost to the knees), possibly in search of a sense of humour.
GORDON What Is your Position On This add ? It Started In Ameerkat !
First time here. Blog is crap but the comments are brilliant. Well, this one isn’t, obviously, but the rest are … some of them, well, number 67 at least.
Welcome. That’s one compliment for me (thanks) on the same posting that I get slagged off. All part of life’s rich tapestry.
Fuck my old boot!
What a load of wankers write for the Grauniad
Where did Peter Jones ‘find’ his girlfriend?
‘ComparetheUkrainianbride.com’ website ?
“Is it in any colour then black?”
“We have ‘noir’”.
Harbint & Token [Head of "Equality Commission"], how can this be so…?
PS: The scouse-team in subsidy-land are funded by an alcohol – unislamlic – company, whose advert is based on providing wholesome meats and little vedgies. So why are we paying you so much to nanny us?
[Oh, silly me: to discriminate is good if you can rig votes...!]
[...] saw this here [...]
Simples
Don’t fuck a commie
oh dear, looks like the Simpsons must be a creation of the KKK.
FFS Couldnt he just grow up a bit – maybe get out for a bit of fresh air,maybe a spot of light gardening. What a bell end.
Politically correct fuckwhits like him are part of the problem with this country.
P.S. The comments on the Grauniad have been closed, presumably because he got fed up with being called a dick head.
I’m half Polish. Half of my family are Polish. Couldn’t give a shit about the advert. The guy’s clearly obsessed with not offending anyone, such people are doormats.
Yeah, yeah. But does she swallow?
The only Ukranian girlfriend this prick has got is an inflatable one. Ukranian girls are hard as nails, gorgeous and certainly wouldn’t go out with a limp writed tosser who works for a failing rag that’s not fit to wipe your arse on.