August 21st, 2009

Where’s Gordon?™ Summer 2009 Edition


  1. 1
    Lady Shanella Shagnastie says:

    Nokias at the ready, boys!

  2. 2
    Ray says:

    Brilliant Guido
    Perhaps he might not get a signal here to ring up England to wish them good luck.

  3. 3
    Branflack says:

    Brown is doing what he does best, shitting his Tartan pants and whilst dreaming up bad decisions

  4. 4
    Infanta of Castile says:

    He took flight when he realised Ed Balls wanted to be the male lead in the scottish country dancing (see below)

  5. 5
    Dave Cameron the secret communitarian says:

    Is Gordon doing work experience with the NHS and operating on Peter?

    I think we should be told.

  6. 6
    Mark Oatcakes says:

    I prefered discussing Peter Mandelstones chutney warehouse

  7. 7
    genghiz the kahn says:

    He’s playing with his sons’ new book, where’s Mladic?

  8. 8
    Shithead says:

    He’s up in Scotland, reading gay porn sent by the PM, Peter Mandelscum.

  9. 9
    Popeye says:

    With a bit of luck he’ll stay where-ever it is and not bother us again.

  10. 10
    MrSpiggot says:

    The one eyed spasticated Scotch is taking time out to get it ard up the fundament from Balls who in turn has a posy of daffs up is arse’ole

    The more time Balls spends on buggering detail the less damage he can inflict upon our once excellent edyukashun sistimm

  11. 11
    Fred Flintoff, Andie Strauss, Stuart Broad says:

    He better not be at the Oval.

  12. 12
    Kiki says:

    Dear Mr gadaffi
    Please don’t give the bomber a heroes welcome.
    Love Gordon
    (PS my location is a secret).

    Dear One eyed Scotish Idiot
    You released him – i’ll do what I like.
    Stay lucky
    Mr gadaffi.

  13. 13
    genghiz the kahn says:

    A orivate and secure wing of Gartnavel Royal Hospital, 1055, Great Western Road, Glasgow, after being ferried in by a blue van with pink wheels.

  14. 14
    Chaim Alumberajaque says:

    He can be in ‘Kin Caldy for all I ‘kin care.

  15. 15

    Gordon is in therapy.

  16. 16

    Gordon is in hospital being removed from Mandelson’s arse.

  17. 17
    Lockerbie families want the truth not posturing says:

    Wherever he is he’s busy blaming the wrong guy like Obama, Hillary, Cameron, Macaskill and the rest of them.

    It wasn’t Megrahi.

    A US intelligence report available to the lawyers of a Libyan former intelligence agent convicted for his role in the Lockerbie air disaster blames Iran, not Libya, for the attack. Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed al-Megrahi, who is due to be released from jail on compassionate grounds, had instructed his legal team to present the document in court if his release appeal failed. Al-Megrahi is one of two Libyans jailed for their alleged role in the 1988 bombing of Pan Am flight 103, which killed 270 people. But the report, produced by the US Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA), says that the attack was “conceived, authorized and financed” by Ali-Akbar Mohtashemi-Pur (alternative spelling: Ali-Akbar Mohtashamipur), who served as the Iran’s Minister of Interior during the first years of the Islamic Revolution. The document further states that the operation was carried out by Ahmad Jibril, founder and leader of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine – General Command (PFLP-GC), a secular Palestinian militant group with operational links to revolutionary Iran and Hezbollah. The importance of the DIA report lies in the fact that several US insiders, including former CIA operative Robert Baer, have claimed in the past that the US believed Iran to have orchestrated the Lockerbie bombing, but avoided confronting Tehran so as not to damage vital energy arrangements with the Islamic state.

    Those interseted in the truth can read more here

    and here

  18. 18
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Probably fuming that Fondlebum got arse cancer and Blair didnt., and shitting himself worrying about who has the photos that Fondlebum has hidden away.

  19. 19
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Is it nice there at this time of year?

  20. 20
    Anonymous says:

    He’s on a secret holiday on a boat, in de nile. Oh yes, he’s up Shi’ite Creek, looking for a paddle. But because he’s blind, he can’t find one.

  21. 21
    Charles Flaccidwidger says:

    Who gives a shit where he is? As long as he never re-appears we’re all better off.

  22. 22
    Lofa on the Sofa says:

    there have been a few rumours about him needing a long rest. I hope the pressure is really getting to him, the shakes and the stuttering show he can’t handle it when things go wrong…….and everything he touches goes wrong. His ‘mates’ are all trying to nick his job and he knows he’s going down in history as the worst premier this country has ever had, and after Major and Blair that’s no mean achievement. I wish him nothing but ill and he can rest assured I’ll enjoy laughing at his spiral to the very bottom.

  23. 23
    nabidana says:

    I wonder if he’ll take the time to punt a printer while he’s at it.

  24. 24
    Lofa on the Sofa says:

    Meddlesom hasn’t got cancer, we wouldn’t be that lucky

  25. 25
    Charles Flaccidwidger says:

    I think it more likely that cancer has got Mandelson.

  26. 26
    julian norgrove says:

    Why the fuck doesn’t he tell where he really is? It’s most unnerving.

  27. 27
    Finn says:

    Ei oo taalla. Saatana arsewipe!

  28. 28
    hogans heroes says:

    Hopefully he’ll be spinning in his grave before too long.

    Nothing personal Pete.

  29. 29
    tat says:

    where is gordon brown?
    well, he has disappeared up his own backside ofcourse!

  30. 30
    Mandy says:

    “Where’s Gordon?”

    Lying low while thesit hits the fan of course.

  31. 31
    dandy says:

    Lets ask ‘toenails’ Robinson.

  32. 32
    Gordon who? says:

    “Where’s Gordon?”

    I think you bwill find this is number 10’s latest cunning plan, keep the fucker out of the way before he does even more damage.

  33. 33
    Chief Cashier says:

    Who cares where the shit is anyway. I think we should be thinking of WPC Yvonne Fletcher and how we let her down badly as well.

  34. 34
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Enjoying 7/24 constant care somewhere in RG45 7EG

  35. 35
    Marcus Oatenkaken says:

    I bet the swabs taken from Mandestone chutney jar will be subject to extra scrutiny, you don’t want any DNA turning up that may identify the mystery Kirkaldy jockstrap sniffer

  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    We let her down when we allowed the Libyans(including the gunman) to walk out of their Embassy and leave the Country. We should have charged the whole fucking lot with “Conspiracy to Murder.” Better still re should have had a re-run of the Iranian Embassy siege when the SAS took all the fuckers but one out with a quick burst from a Heckler & Koch

  37. 37
    Jonathan Cook says:

    Gordon is welcome to stay hidden until after The Ashes.

    This was funny on Political Betting – they reckon Smear Gate did for New Labour and back it up with stats:

  38. 38
    labour for the few says:

    he has been told to button it by mandelson,as he cobbled the deal together in corfu.

    this is bad for labour and very bad for the snp.

  39. 39
    labour for the few says:

    he is behind you!!

  40. 40
    jgm2 says:

    I second that.

  41. 41
    Dack Blog says:

    I don’t care where he is so long as he’s not in Downing Street. I keep hoping he was just a bad dream.

  42. 42
    Phil O'Pastree says:

    He only survived because he pretended to be one of the hostages. I saw him on the way to court peering out of the prison van on Waterloo Bridge: big nose and a smirk.

  43. 43
    hess says:

    Obviously something you do on a regular basis.

    Good day to you madam

  44. 44
    Great Google ads says:

    He’s deep-sea diving in the Mariana trench, with any luck

  45. 45
    Trough Mixture says:

    I’m sure I recall my mate in Kuopio saying there was quite a high suicide rate in Finland. Something to think about in those ‘still an hour to dinner’ moments.

  46. 46
    Can't Kukri, Won't Kukri says:

    Here’s an opening for a big clunking fist…

  47. 47
    Max says:

    He’s in Kirkaldy meeting Rose Gentle, anti-Iraq war campaigner and mother of Gordon Gentle killed in Basra age 19. She told him the troops needed more equipment and he said it wasn’ae his fault that when the wee helicopters were poorly they had to come all the way back to England t’git mended. She has set up a Scottish Iraq war “siblings” group which McDoom thought was a good idea, although when she asked him for some funding he said he would have tae “get back t’yer”. It was a quiet meeting because she says “I thought there was no point in raising voices during the meeting as I wouldn’t be able to get answers”. Sounds like McDoom is still on tranquilisers and waiting for the shock therapy before re-emerging in London still as the Dear Leader. Full story here: BBC News Scotland.

  48. 48
    It wasnae me it was a big boy an' he ran off says:

    He’s busy arse-crawling to Obama over the Lockerbie Bomber release. After all he’ll need his support for that job at the IMF or a professorship at Harvard come next June

  49. 49
    Captain Haddock says:

    Put me down for a basin full too …

  50. 50
    Anonymous says:

    Absolutely correct -he’s been told by the “Dark Lord” to stay out of the media spotlight – the polls go up when he’s absent and down when he re-appears. Left to Mandelson Brown would be kept under lock and key until after the election next year

  51. 51
    olive oyl says:

    Did you bother to change the locks?

  52. 52
    Trough Mixture says:

    Largactyl Galore.

  53. 53
    Obama Beach says:

    BTW, where is his faggoty ass?

  54. 54
    Chaim Alumberajaque says:

    I hope it’s nothing not serious, Lordy

  55. 55
    Bottle-fed Triplet says:

    Oh no he isn’t!

  56. 56
    Trough Mixture says:

    Phil Tufnell @ 17:39

    ” I could do with an iron!”

  57. 57
    Gigits says:

    I’m running a “GordonWatch” – reports of sightings are very welcome.

  58. 58
    caesars wife says:

    he had his chance to do the right thing by us all , for renaged referendum promise , Ille be there too

  59. 59
    Chaim Alumberajaque says:

    I hope it hurts like nothing else imaginable. Nothing not personal

  60. 60
    Sukyspook says:

    Hopefully he’s as far away as possible from anything and everything so he can’t break anything else…..or has he been near Mandy lately?

  61. 61
    Desperate Dan says:

    He’s having a makeover. Eye bags removed. Eyebrows plucked. New truss fitted. Botox. And elocution lessons where he’s learning to speak more softly with an English accent. Some fool persuaded him that if he did all that people would like him better.

  62. 62
    caesars wife says:

    hes frit of the headlines , backwash is taking them all down

  63. 63
    Sukyspook says:

    Oh yes he is – wot – panto time already – oh no it isn’t…..

  64. 64
    Right Bastard says:

    Nailed into a stout box fitted with a small bell and buried six feet under, one hopes, with crowds of people queueing every day to hear the faint ringing noise emanating upwards.

  65. 65
    Steve Expat says:

    He’s certainly not been there today ;-)

  66. 66
    jgm2 says:

    Come next June he’ll still be MP of Kirkcaldy because the locals are fuckwits. But that is all he will be. He’ll do it though because 64K a year is more money than he’ll ever be able to command in the open market.

    And about 800bn quid more than the fucker is worth.

  67. 67
    Steve Expat says:

    at the moment he’s certainly doing the right thing by staying the fuck away!

  68. 68
    Cynic says:

    Who cares?

    We have Mandy to look after us

  69. 69
    nell says:

    ‘The day labour died’ – love the phrase

    ‘Was the day damian resigned’ – love the sentiment.

    I wonder if damian’s seen it? – damian killed the labour government!

  70. 70

    You got me Guido, I clicked the link with a mouthfull of tea. Off to get a new keyboard.

  71. 71
    Steve Expat says:

    lol, Broadmoor!

    I was thinking more of Carstairs, Lanarkshire – that’s where the Jocks send their loonies!

  72. 72
    Steve Expat says:

    jgm2, there are rumours around of an SNP assault on the seat come election day, possibly with a little help from their friends in other parties. No sitting PM in modern times has ever lost their own seat.

  73. 73
    jgm2 says:

    That would be delicious. Brown losing his seat would be a good start. He could spend more time cleaning his flat after that.

  74. 74
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Where were you when Brown lost his seat in 2010?

  75. 75
    nell says:

    He’s as far away from the libyan fall-out as possible, especially after gaddafi snubbed his request for a quiet welcome home for almegrahi by staging that scottish flag waving ceremony! Real success that one gordon.!!!!

    I read somewhere that he is due to meet the US General Petraeus in Kirkcaldy. I bet there is going to be some discussion about that 2000 extra men that the US want in Afghanistan and gordon keeps trying not to send, not to mention helicopter shortages. Obviously the General doesn’t think it worth talking to bob ‘aintbustinagut’ and has gone over his head to gordon.

    Oh to be a fly on the wall.

  76. 76
    Great Google ads says:

    … a Michael Jackson style identity change!

  77. 77
    Charles I says:

    How very uncouth.

  78. 78
    goebbels mick says:

    I’m in two minds whether to airbrush him out of the history books. Perhaps he should stay as a warning to others.

  79. 79
    Shocked of Sheen says:

    Thanks for the links, very interesting, this whole affair does seem very questionable, and what better then to try and ‘bury’ the news than August 21st?
    On the bright side, hope the price of diesel goes down, there must be something to gain from this murky business…

  80. 80

    Your Tuscan mole thinks it more likely he will be found here for the duration of the summer recess.

  81. 81
    HMRC's Bleeding Stone says:

    Yes he has – he took a wrong turn and went into the Australian dressing room :-)

  82. 82
    Engineer says:

    Electrocution lessons? If only…..

  83. 83
    Chaim Alumberajaque says:

    I second that too

  84. 84
    Art. 38 says:

    Perhaps he’s sneaked off to Cape Cod to meet some old friends?

  85. 85
    no longer anonymous says:

    Exactly, the curse of Jonah strikes again. I bet if Gordon had done nothing we wouldn’t be witnessing this farce.

  86. 86
    Lyn Chemall says:

    Shocking. I thought piano wire and lamposts were the order of the day.

  87. 87
    Chaim Alumberajaque says:

    Give a dog an exlax and you’ill see him

  88. 88
    Bill d'Sarse says:

    Gordon is at his favourite place. He’s in doctrination.

  89. 89
    Chairman of the Bored says:

    He’s in fuckin’ denial. He’ll be there till May 6th next year then he’ll be in a removal van.

    May 6th? Sounds like a perfect day for a New Labia election humiliation…Tony Blair’s birthday. How apt!

  90. 90
    Sir William Waad says:

    Does that mean “He’s not here. Satan’s arsewipe?

  91. 91
    Chairman of the Bored says:

    I’d bury him upside down just in case he isn’t quite chilled. Its a bloody long dig to Australia.

    Get well soon; missing you already!

  92. 92
    Sir William Waad says:

    They just can’t get the balance of his medication sorted out. The major tranquillisers are no longer effective because Gordon has built up a tolerance. They are now experimenting with tetrodotoxin to keep him in a semi-cataleptic state in which Mandy can control him. The voices are still keeping him awake at night, though.

  93. 93
    Bill d'Sarse says:

    A long long time ago I can still remember
    How that money used to make me smile
    And I knew that if I had my chance
    I could make the people dance
    And maybe they’d be happy for a while

    Did you write the book of rules
    And do you have faith of crocked ol’ mules
    If the treasury tells you so
    Now do you believe in boom not bust
    And can money calm your fiscal lust
    And can you teach me how to spend real slow

    Well, I know that you’re in love with me
    Cuz I saw you protestin’ in the street
    You all kicked off your shoes
    Man, I dig those rozzers in blues

    I am a lonely Asperger broncin’ buck
    With a pink carnation and don’t give a f*ck
    But I knew that I was out of luck
    The day the party died

    Someone else can do the chorus.

  94. 94
    Mandy (from his sickbed) says:

    Sorry, Phil…I’m a bit sore at the moment.

  95. 95
    Red Mist says:

    Meanwhile, two more of our lovely men for the Lyneham trip.

    I am becoming seriously enraged.

  96. 96
    Hang the bahsterd says:

    He’s been seen at Loch Ness,
    With a monster no less,
    But just who ate who?
    I havn’t a clue.
    One is a serpent
    and the other cweer qunt

  97. 97
    IMF-ucked says:

    Snotgobbler always goes into hiding when there’s a bit of flack flying. If you think this is bad wait til the IMF have to take over the books and sort out the shit storm of debt we’re in. He’ll be quivering in a cave at the base of Rockall.

  98. 98
    Call Me Dave says:

    Good question. Where the fuck is he?

    Best he doesn’t bank his PM wages for the last 6 weeks. (and expenses)

  99. 99
    rick says:

    Careful Lockerbie, to even raise the possibility that Megrahi may not be guilty is to be ‘anti-American’ and thus a supporter of terrorism to many here. They find it unthinkable that our Government – let alone America – could ever be involved in skulduggery. Bless.

  100. 100
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Fucking hell
    He first attacks our friends in Iceland (not the pleb store)
    And now the one eyed fuckwit is picking a battle with Finland?

  101. 101
    nell says:

    That’s real good!!


  102. 102
    nell says:


    Why are we there!!

    Last week they said it was to ensure successful elections. Today the BBC say the elections were succesful (well they’re about as truthful as this government – NOT)

    And everyone else says the elections were a disaster and there was loads of violence.

    So I wonder what the justification for our lads being there and getting killed is going to be tomorrow.

  103. 103
    Maggie Maggie Maggie in in in.... says:


    Falklands war, we had very few military troop and cargo carriers so Maggie swallowed pride and immediately requesitioned civvy ships to take on the task and support our troops.

    Afghan War, we have very few military troop and cargo carriers so Gordon refuses to swallow pride and after much delaying tactics plays around with statstics rather than support our troops.

    Little wonder then that Gordon goes to ground when the going gets tough.

  104. 104
    Sir William Waad says:

    Where’s Gordon? On the planet Mongo if we’re lucky.

  105. 105
    Jethro Q Walrus-Titty says:

    Gordon is in the Fuehrer Bunker

  106. 106
    Anonymous says:

    When the going gets tough the tough get going and Gordon Fucks off.

  107. 107
    Fees Office Clerk says:

    Has Brown set the SNP up as regards Lockerbie afterall the world suddenly loathes the Scottish Government because of their decision.

    Let me see…who can gain from this loathing?

  108. 108
    Mr Magics Wand says:

    It might not of been him THIS TIME.

    But it will most defintely be another of his faith next time and the time after that add infintium till they get their precious caliphate

  109. 109
    Don't take the shots says:

    Al Megrahi’s release had to be sanctioned by Gordon Brown. This explains why Jack Straw did a ultra quick u turn on releasing Roni Biggs, because there is no way he could justify the release of a terrorist murderer of 240 + victims allegedly, while Biggs was still in prison.

  110. 110
    barefootcontessa says:

    Has he got his face stuck in his cold porridge?

  111. 111
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Hasn’t he just been surgically removed from Mandy’s arse.

  112. 112
    Peter, First Lord of the Mandelsons says:

    Oh, hello, Peter here.

    Hope you don’t mind. Just thought I’d let you know that my routine operation went well and everyone here is really happy. The baby weighed in at 7pounds and 4 ounces and we are both doing well.

    Just goes to prove also, there’s no waiting lists in the NHS. See you soon.

  113. 113
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    laaaa laaaaaaaaaa laaaaaaaaaaaa laaaaaaaaaa laaaaaaaaaa laaaaaaaaaaaaaaa laaaaaaaaaaaa laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


    When you walk on byyyyyyyyyyyyyyy will you call my nameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  114. 114
    Codswollop says:

    So Gordon wants ALL UK citizens to carry papers because we are ALL potential terrorists.

    Then Gordon sends real and proven terrorists back to their home because they are feeling ill.

    Osama Bin laden You have NOTHING to fear from the new Labour Government, it’s ordinary Joe who should be quaking in his boots.

  115. 115
    nell says:

    Slightly O/T sorry. Taxpayers Alliance running an interesting article today on MP’s pay in response to recent suggestions that their pay should be increased.

    MP’s Basic Salary = £64766 . All of them get a further annual top up of £17456 as a taxpayer subsidy for their pension – taking their basic salary up to £82234. 131 of them get top up payments for extra parliamentary duties which take them into the £90K – £140K band. And all of this before any expenses are claimed. (Gordon’s basic is £197,000 before pension and expenses).

    As the TP points out their basic salary alone places them in the top 3% of UK earners.

    By comparison last year the median gross salary for a UK adult was £25100.

  116. 116
    Anonymous says:

    He is tossing his caber or tossing someone elses

  117. 117
    nell says:

    Not only no waiting list but also I bet mandy had his own private room – no sharing a noisy chaotic bay with 4 or 5 other men and women.

  118. 118
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Things are looking good at the Oval but we should have armed guards round the perimeter to stop Jonah going anywhere but into the Australian dressing room.

    I was there yesterday and England were a bit feeble but today’s performance was tremendous – if one of Gordon’s joyboys is out there can you please arrange for him to make an impassioned speech tomorrow backing Australia and show him giving Kevin Rudd a blow job

    That should do it for us.

  119. 119
    nerd says:

    more to the point, I would wager that all his doctors couls speak and understand English.

  120. 120
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Mandelson’s probably at the stage where he doesn’t feel a fist even a big clunking one.

  121. 121
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    I’ve got a stunning wife, beautiful children, I’m friends with the most important people in the world and leader of the United Kingdom and all it’s subjects what more can a man ask for.

  122. 122
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    If you have nothing to hide you have got nothing to fear as my daddy used to say.

  123. 123
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    It’s a tough job but someone has to do it.

  124. 124
    barefootcontessa says:

    He’s doing a bit of lino-cutting in the land of jute.

  125. 125
    Anonymous says:


    You have one eye and that is failing fast, you have a beard of a wife, world leaders say you are a tiny dot and no one in the united kingdom regards you as a leader. Just be happy that your Children are beautiful that is what really matters.

  126. 126
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    There is no way I would stir Gordon’s porridge. Even if I had the apparatus to do so.


  127. 127
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    You’re just full of shit.

  128. 128
    barefootcontessa says:

    Why aren’t there any pictures of him on his holidays? Conspiracy of silence? Is he waiting for the swelling to go down on plastic surgery? Is he away on a ‘building your self confidence’ course in 10 easy lessons? Is he up the Kyber? Will we ever know? Do we want to know? Everything seems to go on quite ‘nicely’ without him.

  129. 129
    barefootcontessa says:

    Could be worse, could be Mandlescum!

  130. 130
    Anonymous says:

    A bottle of whisky and a loaded revolver.

  131. 131

    I’ve never claimed to be couth.

  132. 132
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    No change there then – he’s taken every wrong turn for the last 12 years.

  133. 133
    barefootcontessa says:

    Well found Nell, that’s shocking isn’t it?

  134. 134

    Gordon’s been spending time in the Lake District, thereby destroying any chance the region had of cashing in on the “staycation” boom that has been brought on by the credit crunch and collapse of Sterling vs the Euro (thanks again Gordon.)

    Be honest – if you were taking the family for a walk round Little Langdale Tarn, trying to convince them that this was better than Walt Disney World, would you really want to meet the snotgobbler coming the other way?

  135. 135
    chronic says:

    So bye-bye, to the labour lie.
    Drove the British debt level,
    Until it was to high.
    And them good old boys were draining our country dry.
    Singing, this will be the day that they die.
    this will be the end of the lie.

  136. 136
    Lyn Chemall says:

    Ummm… public hanging on Westminster bridge. Just a thought.

  137. 137
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    Hardworking families across the country have been writing and telling me when i’ve met them what a wonderful job i’ve been doing compared to the do nothing tories.

    So i will not let my moral compass fail in these hard working families times of need and get on with the good job they have told me i am doing.

    I also shake their hands with my left hand not my special bogey picking hand as they mean so much to me as hard working labour voters.

    My bad eye can’t see the comma’s and full stops anymore so leave the criticism out please.

  138. 138
    Anonymous says:

    Who cares where the idiot is, just so long as he never fucking well comes back. Get lost and stay lost.

  139. 139
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    Alex Salmond can’t run his fairytale without EU grants. Everyone know’s im the number one scot in the country not ”first minister salmon”

  140. 140
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    I’m where i need to be to best combat the dangers and perils the UK face created by the evil Mrs Thatcher and Tory party two decades ago.

  141. 141
    Shame on Them All says:

    Yes but Mrs Thatcher was a great Prime Minister and leader. Great people can do small things, humbling things if necessary and enhance their greatness in the present and cement their place in history.

    This odious, patronising excuse for courage would struggle to run a bath.

    The best thing he could swallow would be a bottle of cheap whisky before a lonely walk into the library for a brief meeting with Mr Remington.

    I am SO angry with him and his ‘useful idiot’ pals in the SNP! Brown must have thought that Salmond would make a tw@t of himself over the Lybian Mass Murderer and the Labour Party would quickly retake Scotland. Hence the silence and the blame sessions…


  142. 142
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    The first thing i’m going to do when Peter lets me come back and sit in my own office is ban blogs and the internet the comments on here are disgusting and it’s no way to raise the internet with a good clean moral compass.

    Young children, hardworking families and labour voters may see the dross printed on sites such as these.

    I and the labour party must do everything in our power to shield them from such abuse and horror and make the internet a nice, safe, more equal place for all to enjoy.

    I have picked up the gauntlet and will make the right but tough decisions regarding internet regulation and reform after I talk to my dear friend President Obama and ask his advice on creating similair legislation to the Cyber Securities Act 2009.

    Working non stop to make the UK a better place

    Yours Truly

    Gordon Brown PM

  143. 143

    Pan Am: It Started In America !

  144. 144
    Great Google ads says:

    Has plague, famine and earthquakes hit the Lakes yet? At least he’s not at the Oval, to disturb our Freddie and lads!

  145. 145
    barefootcontessa says:

    He could take up religious teaching, and do some missionary work in darkest Africa. Sacfrifice himself to the greater good.

  146. 146
    Jeeves the Butler says:

    …er, Mr McBroon, will you be inviting the Great Lady around for tea again?

    Possibly she could bring that nice Lord Tebbit along too? He’ll bring you up to speed on dealing with terrorists.

  147. 147
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    Sarah has helped me create a twitter account for all my hardworking families, fans and labour voters to follow and tweet.

    Yours Truly

    Gordon Brown PM

    Making the UK and World a safer and fairer place.

  148. 148
    God Save The Queen says:

    To Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth.
    Ma’am. As a loyal subject,i would beg your forgiveness for asking you to interfere in the matter of Your Majesty’s Government,but i am becoming increasingly concerned at the situation that the country is in. We have an unelected and unwanted Prime Minister whose stewardship of the nations finances,is leading to economic ruination,and may well result in the total breakdown of everybody’s livelihoods. This would be a catastrophe that your subjects,i beg to suggest,do not deserve.
    He has also involved Your Majesty’s Armed Forces in a war that has no bearing on the defence of the Realm,and is sacrificing our service personnel in a cavalier and disgraceful manner. The sight of our country’s finest and bravest young servicemen and women returning home in flag draped coffins,is heartbreaking enough,would it be that our safety was ensured,but Your Majesty’s Government is treating those lost lives in a dishonourable political aim that is not to the nations benefit.
    Your Majesty’s Government has also presided over the total disgrace of Parliamentary ethics and probity,and has reduced our democratic system to the gutter level.
    Once again,i apologise for intruding on Your Majesty’s attention,but i feel it is a desperate step that i must make,as our nations future is under as great a threat,as we have ever faced.
    I remain,
    Your humble and loyal subject.

  149. 149
    Anonymous says:

    Was thinking that myself, good shout.

  150. 150
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    I admit that staying at home for the holiday isn’t as fun as cape cod.

    Yours Truly

    Gordon Brown PM

  151. 151
    barefootcontessa says:

    Good poem Bill!

  152. 152

    Where’s Gordon?

    Hiding somewhere no doubt. But with Mandy in hospital who’s in charge?

  153. 153

    Even as I write, we are preparing ourselves for a fresh outbreak of Foot and Mouth.

    Pray that the bugger doesn’t plan an impromptu visit to The Oval on Sunday.

  154. 154
    Anonymous says:

    He’s Labours mad aunt in the attic !

  155. 155
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    I did not invite the evil doer Mrs Thatcher!!

    Lies and fallacies from you Tories never end.

    The Dr forgot to prescribe her pills for that day and she had thought she was still in charge of the country!!!!

    I could not kick the senile and deranged pensioner out of my house after she invited herself as my father raise me with a high moral fibre and compass!!!!

    I merely entertained her delusion until she was slipped enough lithium and taken home.

  156. 156
    Rant Against The Machine says:


  157. 157
    Rant Against The Machine says:


  158. 158
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    I’m afraid that letter does not pass the ‘Labour Praise & Adulration Litmus Test’ and will not be forwarded to her majesty as it is not in her or the nations interest.

    Yours Truly

    Gordon Brown PM

  159. 159
    Her Majesties Government are pleased to announce says:

    …that at 15 15 hours today Lord Peter of Mandlescum delivered a crock of shit for an election manifesto out of his back passage, to the delight of all. We wish The Good Lord and his legacy well.

  160. 160
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    I do not court publicity i was raise to just get on with the job.

    No ”flash” just Gordon.

    Yours Truly

    Gordon Brown PM

  161. 161
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    I have been informed by my beloved Sarah and dear friend Peter that i must connect with the online vote in the same way my dear friend President Obama managed.

    So I may secure a record fourth term for Labour and a second term in office for myself.

    My friend Mark Thompson from the BBC has told me to come onto this site first so he may further his ”spinning” of a Mr Fawkes in a negative light and so i may connect with real voters to tell them i am listening.

  162. 162
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    I have been informed by my beloved Sarah and dear friend Peter that i must connect with the online vote in the same way my dear friend President Obama managed.

    So I may secure a record fourth term for Labour and a second term in office for myself.

    My friend Mark Thompson from the BBC has told me to come onto this site first so he may further his ‘’spinning” of a Mr Guido Fawkes in a negative light and so i may connect with real voters to tell them i am listening.

  163. 163
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    Tory underfunding caused the problem, I will ring up my dear friend Mervyn King and we shall print some new money to buy more land for the UK.

    Yours Truly

    Gordon Brown PM

  164. 164
    The Queen says:

    Has anybody seen Gordon?

    Where the fuck is he?

    I’m gonna slap his big fat arse when I find him

    Now, where is he….?

  165. 165

    TWO eyes GOOD teeth And a Face That dosen’t Look Like A Spitting Image Puppet

  166. 166
    Mark Oaten says:

    I’ll wait

  167. 167
    steven timms says:

    Leave Gordon alone, you fuckers.

  168. 168
    Engineer says:

    How dare you besmirch Her Gracious Majesty’s linguistic skills in this fashion?

    The correct phrase would be, “One is going to slap his big fat arse when one finds him.”

  169. 169
    Engineer says:

    Do you mean ‘President Omaha’?

  170. 170
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    Thank you Steven Timms your honour and bravery is duly noted and i will be personally recommending you for a OBE, with that said i hope we can count on you and your families vote at the General Election.

    Yours Truly

    Gordon Brown PM

  171. 171
    caesars wife says:

    to left wing for me

  172. 172
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    Oh yes thank you for correcting, My eyesight is not what it used to be.

  173. 173
    simon r says:

    I reckon Gordon is off having electro shock treatment to try and ‘cure’ him of his homosexual leanings.

    Either that or he is in his special rubber room on his rocking horse, whilst fag hag Sarah twitters sweet nothings to that mega butch South African runner that has been in the news today.

  174. 174
    Engineer says:

    £25,100 pa could not reasonably be described as “gross”. On the other hand, £64,766 plus pension contributions plus expenses might reasonably be described as “gross” by most people. Except possibly Alan Duncan etc, etc, etc….

  175. 175
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    Peter informed me that he had tried to get Sarah and I onto Big Brother as it would boost the Labour party profile with the voters, sadly I could not leave the affairs of the country in the hands of a bunch of political novices.

  176. 176
    simon r says:

    I don’t think he is in Scotland I think he is actually in Mykonnos, strolling along the beach in a VERY small tartan thong flashing that wierd smile at any young man who catches his one good eye.

  177. 177
    Rufus Stone says:

    I have it on good authority that he’s on a foreign holiday – it started in America.

  178. 178
    SO17 says:

    I have a theory that Brown died in a Financial Crash 18 months ago.
    Like all good communists the Labour party have done a ‘Breshnev’ on his body.
    Note how when speaking in public Gordons jaw has to be readjusted after each sentence.
    Leaking body fluids at the podium is another clue.
    What with the recent hot spell his corpse has had to been put on ice as the DPG blokes were starting to barf at the smell.
    I predict the Husk will make an appearance about early September when the flies have gone.

  179. 179
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    I just want you all to like me, sure i’ve made a few mistakes along the way but all your lives have been enriched and standards raised for the better under my stewardship.

    Please fair people of the United Kingdom do not project your own failings onto me, I am here to listen and to serve and do what’s best by you’s.

    Yours Truly

    Gordon Brown PM

  180. 180

    He is coming to terms with being a haggis eating surrender monkey

  181. 181
    Voting Floater says:

    I thought he was in Denial. Just goes to show.

  182. 182
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    That’s is not the type of behaviour high moral standing and married men engage in.

    Yours Truly

    Gordon Brown PM

  183. 183
    God Save The Queen says:

    With all due respect,i would suggest that for the price of a stamp and putting pen to paper,this is a positive act to contact Her Majesty,who is our nations highest authority,and would be more effective than protesting in the limited cyberworld of blogs.

  184. 184
    Voting Floater says:

    Or Mrs Rochester. Can’t wait for the whole place to go up in flames.

    “Reader — the electorate sacked them.”

    (You have to have read Jane Eyre to geddit.)

  185. 185
    Anonymous says:

    very witty, Guido

  186. 186
    Voting Floater says:

    If Brown loses his seat, Two-Bogs Prescott has got a spare.

  187. 187
    Voting Floater says:

    >He’s deep-sea diving in the Mariana trench, with any luck

    Snorkelling down there, at 5.000 fathoms, with better luck. Preferably with an anvil in his Speedos.

  188. 188
    Great Google ads says:

    They’re all in hiding or hospital, and shock, horror the economy’s improving. A few more years of rest and recouperation from our Great Leaders, and Britain will be ‘Great’ again!

  189. 189
    Engineer says:

    How do you know that Her Majesty doesn’t read this blog? Come to that, how do you know that she doesn’t post on this blog?

    Evening, ma’am.

    Wonder what her screen-name is?

  190. 190
    Voting Floater says:

    Do you mean this little bell I found in the graveyard today? I detached it from a stick protruding from the soil — thought it would make a nice addition to my bike.

  191. 191
    a touch of the beeboids says:

    I had to laugh at this snippet from an interview between John Freeman and Evelyn Waugh in 1960. Nothing really changes does it?

    “JF: Well, I was going to ask you, have you in fact a particular deep feeling about the BBC?

    EW: No.

    JF: Because it comes again into a number of your books, which is why I ask, always in a slightly pejorative context.

    EW: Well, everyone thinks ill of the BBC, but I don’t think I’m more violent than anybody else.”

  192. 192
    Small bear says:

    Are these the photos of Gorgon the Moron having gay sex with the NEW MAN NONCE himself?

  193. 193

    I am someone who is new to this game. Can anyone advise me how to leave Gordon Brown alone?
    I have tried for much of my life to ‘leave him out of it’, but I am finding it increasingly difficult.
    Are there any good tips for leaving Gordon Brown alone? My therapist tells me that I am in my hour of need and therefore need Gordon. Apparently he will not desert me in my hour of need, but i rather feel that I should follow the advise of that lovely, appalling blond who appeared on this website earlier and frankly just leave him alone.

  194. 194
    randy says:

    You are George Lardarse and I claim my £5.00

  195. 195
    Blown Away in the Bleachers says:

    Where’s freddie? I owe him an apology after last night,when i doubted Englands performance at the Oval. freddie said “Wait till both sides bat”. I now accept that he was right,and i was wrong.
    Total respect to the man,and i hope i can stand him a pint,as a token of my esteem and humiliation.

  196. 196
    Cryptic Cross eyed Compiler says:

    Hint. It begins with E

  197. 197
    Great Google ads says:

    Oh Gott! I hope they’ve switched Sellafield off. Brown may return with a radiant glow on his face!

  198. 198
    Scrobs... says:

    You can never expect that arsehole to exhibit any form of leadership where he is totally out of his depth…

    BTW, the water in the pool was provided by his ex-boss Bliar, and Bruin still flounders in it.

    Utterly useless man that chap, and a big, big problem for anyone in UK who can think for themselves.

  199. 199
    nell says:

    Our pensions have been raided. Our investments have been devalued.

    Our dustbins are spied upon. And, unless like mandy you are a member of the politburo, you cannot get adequate and speedy treatment in the nhs. We are bombarded with ‘hidden’ taxes too numerous to mention.

    We have seen our young men taken into two unnecessary wars to boost labour’s ego. They have been under funded and poorly kitted out, and we are watching, as I write, those same young men being killed because of lack of government support.

    Government ministers lie more often than they tell the truth (indeed they never tell the truth).

    MP’s and members of the house of lords (largely labour) have thieved large sums of money from us the taxpayers.

    And last but by no means least, labour has an unsavoury, detestable army of smearers and spinners who attack anyone who dare to question or criticise their lies and spins and failures.

    A few mistakes gordon??!! It’s an unclean litany of discovered lies, failed attempts at manipulation and plain and simple cowardice and incompetence.

  200. 200
    Rufus Stone says:

    At least your heart’s in the right place – pity your brain isn’t.

  201. 201
  202. 202
    nell says:

    His ego will never let him come to terms with the fact that he is the most incompetent disliked pm we have ever had.

    When he retires from office he will still be telling himself that he ‘saved the world’ from its economic crisis.

  203. 203
    SO17 says:

    Apparantly they have a bucket of shit near the dispatch box at PMQs to keep the flies off Gordon Brown.

  204. 204
    Chaim Alumberajaque says:

    OT Friday caption Comp – “This is how we begin to sew his arse up”.

  205. 205
    freddie flintoff says:

    good day on the pitch , we can win the ashes ,come on BARMY ARMY

    and who gives a fuck about gordon he is about as usefull as a chocolate teapot ( apart from fucking up uk plc )

  206. 206
    Name removed says:

    Not to mention a perfectly good 747

  207. 207
    nell says:

    Gordon’s eyesight is of no interest. Gordon’s ability to take fair decisions and to tell the truth is what matters. And frankly gordon fails on both counts.

    Come on TWatson/jones/damian/edb – stop trying to provoke anti-disability comments so that you can lambast this blog.

  208. 208
    Great Google ads says:

    … and weighed down by his fellow clingons. We can but dream.

  209. 209
    Gigits says:

    What, give Sarah Brown an exlax?

    I hear Gordon likes to eat dog shit – makes a nice change from his own nasal detritus.

  210. 210
    Canary Wharf Rat says:

    They got it wrong again…. There are no sympathy votes when it comes to Mandleson’s arsehole!
    It’s not often that you laugh out loud when reading something but having clicked on the link above I roared. Thanks Guido.

  211. 211
    Royal Equerry says:

    Her Majesty’s user name is, ‘thick as thieves’

  212. 212
    Steve Expat says:

    Gordon Brown is a cnut!

  213. 213
    Canary Wharf Rat says:

    Well said.

  214. 214
    You Rang? says:

    I am Stephen Timms and i love Moslems and any other worshipper of the almighty power of our saviour,the true prophet Gordon. I don’t claim expenses because i get my reward in spreading the word of the son of the Manse.
    Can i be in the cabinet now?

  215. 215
    freddie flintoff says:

    tis ok lad , the big man is back , broad and swansong come good , this will be over by sunday lunch

  216. 216
    Chaim Alumberajaque says:

    I say Nerd, I wager no Quack is in the pub tonight claiming he had operated on Mandy’s arse today!!

  217. 217
    nell says:

    Freddie – hubbie says you are in a commanding position and he’s praying you won’t throw it away. Me too.

  218. 218
    Gordon Brown-Finger says:

    If you’ve got nothing to hide we’ve got nothing to tax

  219. 219
    albacore says:

    He’s been away with the fairies, roamin’ in the gloamin’, ever since he lost his moral compass.

  220. 220
    freddie flintoff says:

    dont worry nell lass , a night with the ice thing and will be ok , dont rule out harmy up and down bounce

  221. 221
    Ivor Schwartzporsche says:

    182. Can’t you leave a note under her chopper wiper?

  222. 222
    Gaberdeen says:

    Thatcher was a fucking Hunt

  223. 223
    Gaberdeen says:

    And call me Dave will never run it without a mandate to do so at the next GE.

    Looks like you’ll be going your seperate ways then.

    About fucking time.

  224. 224
    DB9 says:

    Who is 182? Or is your speedo inaccurate?

  225. 225
    Levi Stapress says:

    Effin dead I hope
    and not coming back

  226. 226
    nell says:

    Sorry I don’t know how to post links.

    But I think this story is worth going off topic. Hope you will forgive me Guido.

    Guido is apparently going to campaign for above-board lobbying of parliamentarians.

    I hope it means shining a light on that ‘ hidden hand of politics’ that has made so much money for those Labour House of Lords members who were happy to be paid by companies to try and change the course of legislation.

    Go for it Guido !!!!

  227. 227
    freddie flintoff says:

    fuck it lads , lets show them as hoons , lets take to the streets ( after we win the ashes ) and teach em a lesson

  228. 228
    It all started in London says:

    Obama beach, no doubt. Somewhere in the middle of America, or is that France?

  229. 229
    freddie flintoff says:

    right click on link then paste in commet box

  230. 230
    Matelot Mandela says:

    Lets take to the Thames in a pedalo armada. Who will be our Nelson?

  231. 231
    freddie flintoff says:

    bumbles up for it

  232. 232
    Ed Balls says:

    Please, I’m on a well deserved holiday and can do without such slurs. Thank you.

  233. 233
    freddie flintoff says:

    fuck the yanks are 9 trillion in debt over ten years

  234. 234
    freddie flintoff says:

    did this really start in the usa ? or did our 3% ( if you belive the goverment ) make things worse , and who was in charge of the purse strings?

  235. 235
    nell says:

    Almegrahi was given a hero’s welcome last night in Libya amidst a sea of flags of St Andrew (ie the flag of Scotland)

    Dave today asked gordon for his opinion about elmagrahi’s release and there has been a deafening silence.

    Where is gordon?

    Good night . God Bless. Please keep our troops in Afghanistan safe.

  236. 236
    Special Relationship says:

    It used to be said that Britain was ten years behind America.
    Thanks to Brown,we are now catching up fast.

  237. 237
    Ivor Schwartzporsche says:

    221 you mean 183

  238. 238
    freddie flintoff says:

    he still needs a shotgun up his arse

  239. 239
    freddie flintoff says:

    guido lad , when we the ashes any chance of a post to celebrate it ?

  240. 240
    Anonymous says:

    Just to say brilliant, thank you – really made me laugh :)

  241. 241
    Ivor Schwartzporsche says:

    Very neatly worded but I pity the Headstone engraver

  242. 242
    Hawkeye says:

    It started in the USA allright,but they managed to offload a lot of the shit to some gullible mugs via a get rich quick banking elite who knew that when the shit hit the fan,the fan would blame the bloke that threw it,not the keeper who was going down the legside to an off break

  243. 243
    Ivor Schwartzporsche says:


  244. 244
    Toe Down says:

    Fucking no limit Autobhans! Are we talking MPH or KMH?

  245. 245
    Reverend Fistwick says:


  246. 246
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    I’ll be the first in the country to congratulate you Andrew and the rest of the England squad for their fine display on the battlefield and victory, I hope we can count on your votes in the general election and a few MBE’s could be made avaliable.

    Yours Truly

    Gordon Brown PM

  247. 247
    Ivor Schwartzporsche says:

    We haven’t got a Nelson but Ronnie Biggs was in for a stretch in the sun

  248. 248
    18 for 5 says:

    One Eye. One Knee. The parallels are obvious. How are you at standing still on a column for a spell?

  249. 249
    freddie flintoff says:

    fuck off you hoon we will win with the people behind us not you crooked mps

  250. 250
    Scott Pupil says:

    Gordon is indisposed, working on his cockney

  251. 251
    Gordons Barmy Deserters says:

    Kiss the ashes goodbye.

  252. 252
    freddie flintoff says:

    that you ricky lad , glad to know you can use a pc

  253. 253
    Ron an Reg Brown says:

    I am a cockney,and i will nick anyfing,including yer pension.
    Ere! Do yer wanna buy too tickets to the oval termorrer. Me old mukka Merv the swerve will print any fukkin fing yer want

  254. 254
    Don't take the shots says:

    It’s simple. The oil and gas run out in about 40 years that’s how long we will be there.!

  255. 255
    Polly Toynbee's Caravan smells of pork crunch says:

    Is it true that Bill Oddie and Kate Humble are doing a Prostate Watch special next week?

  256. 256
    Rickety Ponting says:

    Now look here freddie! None of that sledging. It’s just not the Aussie way. Play up,and play the man,as we say at reform school.

  257. 257
    SO17 says:


  258. 258
    alias Albert Browning says:

    Salt of the earthworm I am and I ain’t nuffin to do wiv Scotlind no longer neiver

  259. 259
    freddie flintoff says:

    ricky lad , we are coming to get you

  260. 260
    Dr Arsen Surgeon says:

    I rename Mandy’s arse the Commet Box

  261. 261
    freddie flintoff says:

    mandys had enough fists lad

  262. 262
    Vote for Cunts says:

    well,I was just about to add my respects,but now that i’ve seen that blatant,sychophantic,self serving,servile accolade,i can only suggest you enter politics at the earliest opportunity.

  263. 263

    very commendable comments.

  264. 264
    English Shampers on Ice says:


  265. 265
    Baroness Scotchland says:

    I fancy a nice slug of Kentucky straight. And a whiskey afterwards.

  266. 266
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    Tory underfunding would of lost us the ashes.

    I’m sure Andrew and the England team will thank the Labour party and myself although I would like to point out i was merely doing my duty as a modest and prudent chancellor.

    By investing heavily into the future of cricket, I have ensured we are best placed in the sporting world to weather any storm and grow our way to victory.

    Yours Truly

    Gordon Brown PM

  267. 267
    Trader Vic in oil says:

    Anything scotch is off. How about a nice 12 year old Libyan Malt I’ve been saving for a special occasion.

  268. 268
    HM Chopper Handler says:

    221 you mean Sikorski wiper. Yes

  269. 269
    Anonymous says:

    so what! they are spending too much money propping up nasty leftwing governments like Britain.

  270. 270
    SO17 says:

    I would like to thank Ed Balls 11:01,
    I set up the ball but he sent it screaming into the net.

  271. 271

    It will be even worse when they get Obama`s socialist healthcare system.

  272. 272
    Baroness Scotchland says:

    Libyan Malt? As rare as hen’s teeth – according to Google.

  273. 273
    Sir Geoffrey Boycott says:

    Even a chocolate teapot could leave anything in the corridor of uncertainty. Gordon will tickle every tempting long hop straight to the slips.
    He just never got his eye in.

  274. 274
    Wreck of the Hesperus says:

    And may God bless all who sail in her

  275. 275
    Lord Hemeroids says:

    I don’t know about that but I should be fit for The ProState Opening of Parliament

  276. 276
    Pet Coombes says:

    Try Googling ‘Libyan Dogs malt ?

  277. 277
    Don't take the shots says:

    Gordon got a part time job as a ship’s pilot that was passing through the English channel loaded with timber about 3 weeks ago.

  278. 278
    Blue on Blue says:

    Bags our lads first for your free shots!

  279. 279
    SO17 says:

    Marvel comics presents,
    An empty soulless clunking hunk of junk runs amok in the UK as a result of the NEW LABOUR experiment gone wrong.
    Watch as he makes a Clunking Fist of everything he touches.

    polly Toynbee,The Guardian

    ‘I would use his shit for toothpaste’
    Nick Robinson, BBC

    ‘What a C*nt’
    Peter Hitchens, Daily Mail

  280. 280
    Patrick Mooring says:

    ‘An utter waste of space’ – Astronomer Monthly

  281. 281
    Ed Balls says:

    I entered politics and managed to help Gordon piss trillions into the wilderness. I think that’s a record to be proud of.

  282. 282
  283. 283
    (Not) Ed Balls says:

    Cheers SO17. You laid an open goal that had to be taken. Nothing wrong with a bit of humour!

  284. 284
    thick as thieves says:

    it’s a fifty-fifty deal freddie. both parties are to blame.
    the bankers and governments would have got away with it if it were not for the additional costs in blood and treasure and inflationary pressure on the economy caused by waging long term wars and occupations in Iraq and Afghanistan.
    the new labour war, occupation and torture government has put this country into a dangerously over-exposed position due to its fiscal ineptitude and incoherent policy.
    new labour really do not having a fucking clue what they are doing. it’s a bit scary really.
    and the bankers are the harpies of the piece, the vultures feasting on the kill.
    it’s a total fucking mess basically freddie.
    anyway, never mind all that bollocks, just finish off those bloody convicts.
    lock ‘em up and throw away the key.
    good lad.

  285. 285
    Joey Deacon says:

    Call a spade a spade Nell, If they walk like a Mong,talk like a Mong then they are a fucking Mong.
    ‘ where’s me boot?’

  286. 286
    kermit chung says:

    Brain in wrong place not neccesarily disibility until you have prolapse grape set

  287. 287
    Anonymous says:

    First Class

  288. 288
    thick as thieves says:

    no mates joey deacon,
    your nasty spiteful comment illustrates perfectly why you are a dick who has no friends.
    I wish to inform you that nell is a lady and I will not stand by and let a guttersnipe like you make your vulgar and rude insults against a person of her good character without challenge.
    apologise motherfucker.

  289. 289
    Biffo says:

    In theory, isn’t he meant to be somewhere up in the Lake District? Bet the sheep up there are shaking with fear if that’s the case.
    In practise – locked away in some clinic, getting ‘treatment’? Or up to his old tricks in Provincetown – wearing his gimp mask & nappy?

  290. 290
    Biffo says:

    I’ll third it – with knobs on.

  291. 291
    Biffo says:

    Isn’t this meant to be a pre-election spin ploy? ‘Gordon Brown – man of mystery’ is meant to get people to see him as more interesting (and less incompetent) than he really is – thereby getting people to vote for him. F***wits – he has all the mystery & allure of a bag of cold sick & if my voting choice was that limited, I’d prefer to vote for the bag of cold sick.

  292. 292
    Lord Snooty says:

    What a daft comment. August 21st? Surely you mean the “Glorious 12th” of August! No one with any breeding is watching the news on the first day of the pheasant shooting season! That’s the proper day to bury bad news, by Gad!

  293. 293
    Gordon Brown says:

    It all started in Scotland.

    Nothing to do with me. Blame the SNP, Tony Blair, and Thatcher.

    The fact that my bum-chum mandy spoke to godaffi’s son a few days before the appeal was dropped and release was sanctioned is just a coincidence.

    I did send godaffi a letter asking him not to take the piss, but it seems he’s almost as much a lying bastard as I am, although he hasn’t managed to destroy his economy quite as well as I’ve managed to destroy mine, and his people seem to like him whereas my people seem to want to hang me up by my balls on a lamppost because they all see me as an evil, spiteful, vindictive, arrogant, negligent sociopath.

    Bow to me, for I am your God, and you *will* worship me.

  294. 294
    Biffo says:

    If the SNP do put up a candidate for kirkcaldy, I’ll make a donation to their funds (provided Gordon is up for re-election there too of course).

  295. 295
    summer_Breeze says:

    Here, to be exact…….


    Bassenthwaite Lake,

    Near KESWICK,


  296. 296
    summer_Breeze says:

    LOL @ Scottish country dancing. I remember doing that when I was a kid. I don’t think they teach it in schools anymore, more’s the pity!

  297. 297
    Biffo says:

    Pity she didn’t kill the bastard when she had him in her sights. Obviously yet another vote catching performance – I do hope Mrs Gentle wasn’t fooled.

  298. 298
    caesars wife says:

    trouble in scotchland for broon , some voices now asking where he was , snp bloggers making case it was Scotlands decision, no ones picked up on Salmonds today program performance or for that matter Millibands .

    first stirrings of wonk NWO construct in scotland marxist speaketh unto nationalist who is a communist , that would make my day if Scotish start to rumble its a lab/snp stitch up .Although one thoery is that they may have stiched up Salmond to retain Labour seats , but if thats the case why didnt Salmond intervene ??

    if broons gone to Afghanistan , he will be the one with general mcyrstal in a burka .

    one bubbling under the radar is tamiflu guidance , DOH has not changed its guidance despite new calls it is better for healthy people not to take it .

  299. 299
    Biffo says:

    That’s a bit like saying that Satan appearing in black tie, with horns removed & tail folded out of sight, rather than his standard issue red outfilt, complete with horns, tail & pitchork, would be a vote winner.

    When will all these Labour spin doctors realise that you can’t polish a turd?

  300. 300
    Biffo says:


  301. 301
    caesars wife says:

    “call for the priest” 18th century rural dweller monthly

    “50 comming ready or not” Socialist Dictator quarterly: what to do when the stats are bad .

    “It was nae me ” NWO monthly

    “yatch or army surplus jet racing?” Marxist Banker quarterly

    “it was some sort of black hole in which time , space and sound money ceased to exist” Astrocosmologicaleconomist anual report

    “goose step like edballs and home renforced concreting and astro turfing ” The Bunker

  302. 302
    Biffo says:


  303. 303
    summer_Breeze says:


  304. 304
    Joey Deacons boot says:

    Where’s me Joey?

  305. 305
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    You are an imposter, I don’t suffer fools lightly, I’ll call my mateS Bob Ainsworth and Alan Johnson to sort you out evil dopperganger trying to besmirch my good name.

    Yours Truly

    Gordon Brown MP

  306. 306
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    Now you’ve got me in trouble with Sarah! For trying to type in the dark on my blackberry especially when my eyesight isn’t as good as it used to be.

    I’ll deal with you in the morning

    Yours Truly

    Gorden Brown PM

  307. 307
    Johnathan Rice says:

    Well oh, oh my baby
    Your so sweet it makes me cry
    well oh, oh my baby
    your so sweet it makes me cry

    Your so sweet, your so sweet
    your so sweet, i wanna cry



  308. 308
    Call me Infidel says:

    You would have to stand on your mother’s shoulders to kiss Maggies arse Gaberdeen.

  309. 309
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    Some question my logic without realising the long game, It’s a good job my father raised me as a son of the manse with a strong moral belief of forgiveness.

    I have bettered and helped my fellow man in the great United Kingdom for future generations with shrewd moves but I am a modest man and do not look for praise.

    I even managed to find a small amount of spare time to step up to the plate to help the world in it’s time of need as a testament of the great British spirit within us all to help the needy in their hour of need.

    By looking out for my fellow countrymans interests i’ve insured by the time the next world recession comes about we will have passed it completely as we will still be in this recession. Thus enabling us to emerge a stronger nation while others will be sliding down the slope.

    Yes I have taken the country a step back in order to take this country two step’s forward.

    I know, I know i have heard the gasps of astonishment amongst senior and world respected figures and economists and leaders at such a genius move, I merely smile and carry on strengthing this great countries position for the future.

    I do not ask history to call me a genius or to heap praise for being the greatest labour party leader and prime minister in the history of this fine country,or for being a world statesman and economic genius oh no, for the truth of the matter is, There’s no flash, I’m just a simple and humble man called Gordon.

    Thank you for your ears fellow countrymen and women and transgenders and asexuals and other ethnic miniorites.

    Yours Truly

    Gordon Brown PM

  310. 310
    Lead Burkini says:

    Dip me in money and throw me to the Libyans.

  311. 311
    Kartika Sari Dewi Shukarno says:

    What’s my porn name?

  312. 312
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    As i’ve always maintained, now is no time for a political novice, I may decide to stay in power to make sure the recession is dealt with capable hands steering the ship to safe passage.

    Yours Truly

    Gordon Brown PM

  313. 313
    Harsh Viewpoiny says:

    The thought of such a petite, seductive Muslim girl being SAVAGELY, REMORSELESSLY CANED on her exposed, tender, Muslim ass-cheeks brings a Kuala Lumpur to my throat.

    She’ll need a big stiff, er, drink after such a demanding session – may I suggest a Libyan Malt? Muammarhahahaaa!

  314. 314
    Schottische says:

    They do at ours.

  315. 315
    Sick of it all says:

    We don’t do terrorism, oh no.

    Not even depleted uranium.

    Heavens we would never even think about germ warfare.

  316. 316
    Sick of it all says:

    I thought that it was Westminster.

  317. 317
    Canary Wharf Rat says:


  318. 318
    Sick of it all says:

    Has anyone EVER seen any pictures of his family?

  319. 319
    Anonymous says:

    I don’t know.

  320. 320
    terrace bar frequenter says:

    what did mandy say to ghadaffi junior? we can guess. bp will be happy.

    what did cyclops say to salmond? we can guess, let him out and we will not stop the referendum next year.

    deal obviously done not to shitcan the snp by milliband as salmond has the evidence and can let rip stating he is now aware of ALL the facts who really did it and time for the enquiry to proceed. which when the link to syria and iran come sut and what happened pre gulf war it would do blair forever.

    he could say there will be a scottish enquiry which the british government will be asked to comply with. THAT OPTION STILL AVAILABLE. when milliband refuses as he has to as the role of the cia cannot be mentioned let alone discussed, along with the fact people were taken from pan am plane at the last minute after u.s. government intervention, then the score would be snp 1, labour nil.
    gray’s comments saying he would not have released megrahi were not part of deal, he is nornmaly such a toadying creep that this was an attempt for headlines when he rarely says anything different to his london masters. so expect snp to release a few meaty shots in the near future.
    with a trade deal agreed dependent on this release, mandy wants it to blow over but being seen in corfu again makes it look correctly like he made promises to libya which limit how negative he can be, rewad two faced, about this matter which he and brown and blair support.

  321. 321
    Chris Broad says:

    Fuck off Freddie you underperforming has-been and take your overinflated ego with you. Since when is Andrew Chandler a Selector.

  322. 322
    Chris Broad says:

    Well said Sir Geoff(00ps).

    Can you tell that overated Freddie F to fuck off along with his lardarsed managed ‘Chubby’ Chandler.

    Spet aside for a real all rounder.

  323. 323
    Up the Trabalhadores says:

    She’s a fine vessel!

  324. 324
    Trough Mixture says:

    Cock-a-Knee? Are you riddled wiv it?

  325. 325
    Anonymous says:

    Where is Gordon? All the other steam engines are relieved that he is on holiday, the atmosphere is much better because Gordon is a very cross steam engine and is very bad tempered.

  326. 326
    Tony Cozier says:

    Irie Man!

  327. 327
    Curtain twitcher says:

    Can you expand on the bit about peeps being taken from the plane?

  328. 328
    Trough Mixture says:

    Is he with digital public image consultant – Tommy Two Tenders?

  329. 329
    righteous-rage says:

    Are you retarded? joey deacon did not insult nell, or is it a case of you wish to appear to be her saviour you sick stalking bastard?

  330. 330
    Agent 99 says:

    Sadly it is reported this morning that one of the SAS soldiers who took part in that Embassy Seige action has a son who has just been killed in Afghanistan.

  331. 331
    Jerry Springer (the musical)'s Lyricist says:

    Feck fek fech ferk (continues for four verses)

  332. 332
    Jerry Springer (the musical)'s Lyricist says:

    Without knowing about your pets’ names and childhood place of residence, it is hard to guess. Rocky Revolution Road?

  333. 333
    Agent 99 says:

    I am sure when he reappers the spin will be

    ” The PM is in charge and back from his break fully refreshed and fizzing with ideas” etc etc etc

  334. 334
    shelling-out says:

    That’s it then. The death knell.

  335. 335
    Scallywag says:

    Dream on. He’ll be back, but I’m really getting used to the bastard not being around.

    That will come in very useful soon…

  336. 336
    Agent 99 says:

    The letter was passed to Gadaffy an hour after the plane left Scotland. WTF? Given the fact the plane was then most likely over the English channel area or close to it would have been no more than a couple of hours away from landing at Tripoli. FFS Most people welcoming this guy home would have already got their camels out of the tent and been on the way to the airport by then.

    SNP let the guy go but even so Labour just cannot get anything right. Obviously the thing to do was hand in the letter the previous day and / or just change the planes destination. Failing that stick the guy in a small plane with just a pilot with a parchute and a bomb.

  337. 337
    Rufus Stone says:

    Just heard on the Toady programme – there’s a mobile phone throwing competition taking place in Finland. Maybe this is the answer to where our Great Leader is.

  338. 338
    Rufus Stone says:

    So that will be another business closing soon then.

  339. 339
    Scallywag says:

    How true… He just depresses me whenever he turns up, especially when he says how sorry he is that more of the lads have been blown up by the Taliban, but we’re doing the right thing.

    Perhaps he should try a ‘routine foot patrol’ in Helmand Province for a bit of light relief from saving the world…

  340. 340
    Scallywag says:

    Spot on. The UK government is always too ready to stand behind convention and international law and all that guff. The Libyan Embassy should have been fire bombed and the bastards machine gunned as they tried to escape…

  341. 341
    Agent 99 says:

    Most of the women could not vote anyway as their were a lack of guards and election officials to open the ‘women only’ polling stations. Women only polling stations take note. That along with widespread fraud reported the whole thing is a dismal failure. Meanwhile the Labour party hail their foreign policy as a momentus achievement while the British army continue to be scrificed and for what? Meanwhile the oil was the reason for Iraq and Gaddafy’s son has stated openly (This mornings new reports) oil was the reason the Lockerbie bomber was freed

    Never in my entire life have I wanted so much for a party, a government and a group of people out of office, in the dock and strung up as much as I do now.

    At least it takes the mind of the hugemungus debt these bastards are running up I suppose. The hiding of the Rover Report until 9/11 tells you all you need to know about these evil corrupt arseholes.

  342. 342
    Agent 99 says:

    ‘as my father raise me with a high moral fibre’

    That would have to be All Bran for brekkie then as he is so full of shit.

  343. 343
    The Tower Executioner says:

    HM Chopper handler? Hey! Thats my handle!!!

  344. 344
    Agent 99 says:

    Nell 199
    Absolutely Brilliant summation.

    Are you at the Labour conference this year?

  345. 345
    Geoffrey Boycott says:

    Sorry lad, you’re not the real Geoffrey Boycott – who the bloody hell put him on here. This is just not cricket. Never, in all my life, have I had to put up with some marginal southern twit pretending to be me. Impossible. It’s impossible to repeat my feats and to try to provide any considered opinion on here without a slight tilt to my Yorkshire roots. Barmy. Absolutely barmy.

    Do you work for the BBC?

  346. 346
    Agent 99 says:

    Tommy two tenders…

    Is that what they are now calling that lard arse from hull?

  347. 347
  348. 348
    The Queen says:

    Shut up. You’ve never seen me when I’m angry. Innit?


  349. 349
    tinkerbell says:

    …….our world has gone cold and dark since the evil Queen Mandy came to the throne……..please help us…….anybody…..aaagh.

  350. 350
    mitch says:

    Mangled rectom of boys has had surgery on his prostate, daily wail says non serious so most like likely “Severe Bruising” ho ho ho!!

  351. 351
    Sukyspook says:

    Ha haaaaa, just spotted Gordy on BBC Propaganda 24….whilst he’s still wearing his 9-5 top half, his bottom half is the part that’s on ‘holiday’ as he was sporting light-coloured ‘slacks’….bad decision I thought, given his little ‘problem’. Still I expect he’s padded up more than usual…..sad little excuse for a man.

  352. 352
    Trough Mixture says:

    No, I was thinking of someone more baggy.

  353. 353

    Thick As Shit: spent months abusing nell ,steve, expat ,engineer etc ! now he thinks he is some sort of savior ! Go fuck yourself you sad mental twat !

  354. 354
    Ivor schwartzporsche says:

    Evil, corrupt arseholes who ruin lives in the nation they were supposed to defend.

  355. 355
    Anonymous says:

    There is a growing scandal right at the heart of this corrupt British government.

    The Lockerbie bomber has been released just 2 weeks after Mandelson met Col. Gaddafi’s son to discuss trade deals:

    “Mr Gaddafi, who discussed the case with Business Secretary Lord Mandelson when they met in Corfu just weeks ago, hailed Megrahi’s the release as a ‘victory’ for all Libyans.”

  356. 356
    ben dover says:

    why do i get the feeling we have been mugged

  357. 357

    Nice to see That Charles E Smallwidge has dissapeared for a week or two maybe he’s on holiday or maybe he’s gone to “the special hospital” to give his mum a break?

  358. 358
    Anonymous says:

    thick as thieves, are Gideon and the Bullingdon Boys still wanking through your letterbox you deranged prick?

  359. 359
    thug4u says:

    steve expat, nell and engineer are all my friends, and those comments I made about them (that they were imbeciles and cretins and had the collective intelligence of an autistic woodlouse),was just friendly jesting and jappery, and not intended to hurt in any significant way (snigger) I am a reformed character and am currently undergoing some kind of therapy on the NHS.

  360. 360
    Anonymous says:

    “Colonel Muammar Gaddafi’s son, Saif, claimed the release of the Lockerbie bomber, Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed al Megrahi, was linked to trade deals between Britain and Libya.”

    Both Brown and Mandelson have met Gaddafi and his son recently.

  361. 361
    thug4u says:

    It’s all a load of arse.

  362. 362
    Trough Mixture says:

    She has turned Mr Timney, the faun, into a statue. We must find a great lion at a stone table.

  363. 363

    This lot would sell their own mothers to the glue factory ! they are real scum !

  364. 364
    Anonymous says:

    See he’s got one hishis “tame” shite peddlars – MacShane writing in the Guardian though

  365. 365

    Should not Lord Rancidbum be The Biz Mess secretary ?

  366. 366
    Anonymous says:

    Brown’s snotty fingerprints are all over this scandal. That’s why he wrote to Gaddafi asking him to keep the celebrations over Megrahi’s release low key.

    This could bring down the British government within days.

  367. 367
    ben dover says:

    so we have been mugged by the libyans , the us stamp there feet and mandy has a problem with his todger

    and in the real world we could win the ashes , the footie season is underway, and we all hate our parlimant , so really not a bad saturday

  368. 368
    Anonymous Source says:

    “This could bring down the British government within days……..”

    No it won’t. In the “Great Game” of realpolitik it’s of a little importance I’m afraid. Once all the heat and smoke has cleared it will be as if nothing happened and things will continue as before.

    Why do you think that beyond all the rhetoric the Obama White House is taking a measured stance ? They can’t afford another re-opened spat with a Middle Eastern Country given their problems already with Iraq and Iran and the mega problems in Afghanistan. They need to keep semi friendly relations with Libya as does the UK. The “anger” is for home consumption and it suits both the UK government and the US that the Scottish Executive takes the flak for Al-Mehgradi’s release

  369. 369
    South of the M4 says:

    Nell, you have only concentrated on the good points of this government. There are worse.

  370. 370
    Nat Rothschild says:

    “where’s gordon?”

    Does it matter? All the important stuff is done by GayLord Mandelson in Corfu.

  371. 371
    Name withheld says:

    Caesers wife- Alka seltzer about mid-day, perhaps?

  372. 372
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    I would like to recommend highly the ‘brisk walk around the countryside’ excersise Sarah and my personal trainer Alfonso have embarked me on.

    Every great leader must be able to lead their troops and nation from the frontlines and I admit I have let the humbug and day to day workings of London have forced me to neglect my physical prowess.

    After watching the ‘Rocky’ series of dvd’s that my good friend President Obama gave to Sarah and I as a present.

    I have decided in the summer recess with the true spirit of the British underdog that has many parrelels to Rocky Balboa, to base my victory at the general election on Rocky Balboa’s life, To go against all odds to go the distance and claim victory.

    I am happy to report that i am currently making inroads as we speak into reaching my physical peak so i may be sound of mind and body for the hardworking families that rely on me getting on with the job of securing their future from day to day.

    That is why my gruelling regime coupled with light boxing sparring lessons at night time, I also find this a great way to rid one self of stress.

    Of course all of this cannot be achieved without a stable foundation of six british free range eggs to fortify ones constiution.

    Many in the Labour party happen to be drawing comparisons between one ‘Muhammed Ali’ and myself already.

    Now is no time for a political or physical novice, Sarah and Harriet purchased ‘Win Gordon, Win’ to reflect the seriousness of the situation facing us all.

    With that said, I will be creating sixty billion new bank notes to spend on the fight against obesisty within the UK, by following my example I hope the British nation may better it’s self and reach it’s full potentional, That is why i am also creating a excersise dvd to send to every household in Britian, again every great leader must first lead by example.

    As you can all see my steady and capable mind and body steering the good ship will see us all through any hardship or problem we may encounter in creating a fairer and equal United Kingdom.

    Yours Truly

    Gordon Brown PM

  373. 373
    "pick my feet in Poughkeepsie"? says:

    Little wonder his scuttlebox has blown a gasket then.

  374. 374
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    I would like to reflect that in this fair and equal society, I and Labour have created that the mentally disadvantaged be afforded the same opportunities and respect that the rest of us enjoy.

    Of course that is why legislation with an enforced prison sentence has been introduced also to show how seriously Labour takes the hardships and discrimination disabled people face on a day to day basis.

    Yours Truly

    Gordon Brown PM

  375. 375
    Anonymous says:

    On BBC radio this morning US govt spokesman and woman expressed outrage at this reported deal between the UK govt and Gaddafi to free the Lockerbie bomber in return for Libyan oil.

    This has got legs and will prove very damaging for Brown and Mandelson.

  376. 376
    Anonymous says:

    anon source at 9.36am

    But the Scottish executive is no longer taking the flak for Al-Mehgradi’s release. The UK govt is now firmly in the frame for this and Mandelson and Brown in particular.

    They have grabbed Libyan oil right from under the noses of the US oil companies. This could prove fatal for Brown.

  377. 377

    I don’t give a fuck where Gordon is. Life is that much better without the fucking bastard disgracing TV screens.

    In fact I hope the cúnt is dead.

  378. 378
    ben dover says:

    fucking hope so

  379. 379
    the troggs says:

    He’s about as tame as a cross between Goebbels and a rabid doberman.

  380. 380
    ToT says:

    That’s very illuminating and I’ve wondered what would have been the upshot had this explosion happened over the atlantic? I.E: No culpability, no motive, no subsequent leverage or political point scoring? It could so easy have been not over Scotland?

  381. 381
    Anonymous says:

    Coffee gone!

  382. 382

    We know why he’s silent: The ‘Pussycat’ Mandelson has got his tongue.

    After all his soundbites on Jade Goody, Lehman Brothers’, the X-Factor and the Arctic Monkeys, either he’s got nothing left to say, or Mandy’s told him to keep well clear.

    Expect him to break his silence when (if) England win the Ashes. He’ll be all over that like a cheap suit..

  383. 383
    we love you dave says:

    The only drawback being New Labour actually improve their poll ratings when he’s not around.

  384. 384
    Anonymous says:

    Brown is now getting the blame for this Lockerbie release scandal. It could bring him down.

    Everything Brown touches turns to shit.

  385. 385
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    I am pleased to report that in my effors in turning the country ‘greener’, I have been sent many letters from my Islamic friends and countrymen throughout the country.

    These letters have been sent with pictures of a new Union Jack flag to celebrate the new and improved green United Kingdom.

    In the drawings sent to my office, I am pleased to report the red, white and blue have been edited out and the national flag is composed of varying shades of green and white.

    I have been very impressed with the intergration and obvious patroitism of muslim communities under Labour’s stewarship and their contiuned recognisation of the hardwork I undertake, for them and hardworking families across the country on a day to day basis.

    With this in mind, I will personally take the matter of updating the national flag that the countries muslim communities are so passionate about as an issue to parliament after the recess.

    Yours Truly

    Gordon Brown PM

  386. 386
    freddie says:

    I should just like to state that if England lose the ashes, I will not be returning to this blog………..ever.

    thank you for all your support.

  387. 387
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    I am happy to report that in these times of hardships that we all face, that reports of my death have been fabricated by the do nothing Tories who are constantly incensed by my steady hand guiding the country to safe port.

    Yours Truly

    Gordon Brown PM

  388. 388
    FREE PETER SUTCLIFFE ! When You Spend £50 At ASDA says:

    OBAMA Is Really Pissed Off ! No special Relationship There Then !

  389. 389
    Dick Chainee says:

    What will the American undercover death squad do to him Lord of Bandage in Rectum? I hope it’s awful.

  390. 390
    FREE PETER SUTCLIFFE ! When You Spend £50 At ASDA says:

    Is patrick Moore Gordon Broooons Father ?

  391. 391
    sid says:

    That would make me Steve Brixton (yeah, we had a cat called Steve).

  392. 392
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    Dear Andrew

    To recognise all your tireless and hard work within the United Kingdom, I have decided to offer you the role of ‘Sports Tsar’ within my government to lead the Labour sporting vision within the United Kingdom.

    I feel a hardworking and successful kindred soul such as yourself will only exceed all expectations and smash all goals set before you.

    Yours Truly

    Gordon Brown PM

  393. 393
    Chaim Alumberajaque says:

    ‘Explains why glue smells of fish, then

  394. 394
    Stronghold Barricades says:

    Maybe he’s seeking help in a sanitarium because he’s apparently mentally flaky

  395. 395
    FREE PETER SUTCLIFFE ! When You Spend £50 At ASDA says:

    James Gordon Brown You are Charles E Smallwidge ! You dont fool me !

  396. 396
    lord dark of groaning says:

    £50? You must be on benefits if you can afford that much.

  397. 397
    freddie says:

    Err….my name is freddie.

  398. 398
    Chaim Alumberajaque says:

    It wasn’t a blown gasket. It needed sowing up a little tighter to help him keep his farts in when meeting the Queen. It was a two for one operation as they rehung his grapes at the same time.

  399. 399
    South of the M4 says:

    And there lies the real reason for US anger……

  400. 400
    ugly rumour says:

    In other words, a сunt.

  401. 401
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    Dear Countryman

    There’s no flash, I’m just Gordon.

    Yours Truly

    Gordon Brown PM

  402. 402
    South of the M4 says:

    Gaddafi has seen how easily it is to manipulate our halfwit government. He has got what he wanted, and has shown the world that the union is dead and that Brown is a fool. Next step – the cancellation of the BP contract…..

  403. 403
    Cruella le Widowmaker says:

    Spendid opportunity to work near europe.

  404. 404
    Mere Coincidence says:

    Choreographed and stage-managed by a non-elected PM and non-elected Lord spouting out about democracy in Afghanistan when 95% of the eligible UK electorate at the European elections did not vote for Labour at all. Democarcy in action.

    Then the non-elected PM and non-elected Lord normally tripping over themselves to get on Skynews go into hiding.

    Biggs recently released from prison on ‘humanitarian’ grounds. Megrahi sent flying back to Tripoli the day before the start of the Holy Month of Ramadan and following a recent meeting between the Lord and Gaddafi’s son on board a yaught off Corfu.

    All of it mere coincidence.

    The Libyans saying it was to do with oil deals, the British saying It wasn’t. I know who I believe.

    But all of it mere coincidence.

  405. 405
    Custard says:

    Kin very strange that the man who saved the world, is frit to comment on something that happened in his home town.

  406. 406
    Fucking delicious! says:

    Scotland speaks, and the World pays attention; listen up now window-lickers…

    Fucking delicious!

  407. 407
    Cruella le Widowmaker says:

    To be honest Britain comes first but I wouldn’t be offended if the Americans put Brown and Mandleson within the sights of their ‘Health Care’ system. cough

  408. 408
    Shukarn This says:

    My video, soon to be released, has provisionally been entitled “Cane My Muslim Ass”.

    Available from all good internet stores.

  409. 409
    ugly rumour says:

    Are you saying that somebody has actually slept with Patrick Moore?


  410. 410
    Anonymous says:

    It could be fatal even.

  411. 411
    Moley says:

    Libya, which in all probability had no responsibility for Lockerbie, has reformed itself.

    Iran, which in all probability, was responsible for Lockerbie, has strengthened its ties to terrorist organisations and its support for their activities, and is pursuing the goal of becoming a nuclear power.

    That is the price the West has paid for conspiring to conceal the truth.

  412. 412
    McMincer says:

    But how does Britain importing cheapo oil and gas from libya help Scotland?

  413. 413
    Gadaffi Ducky says:

    Try gargling ‘Libyan Dogs Balls’ after downing Malt.
    Talk about hair of the Dog.

  414. 414
    Bag of Cold Sick Party. says:

    The NHS is the envy of the world, the nadir of Health Care perfection and needs only to have twice as much money spent on it to be even more perfect.

    Anyone who suggests otherwise should be shot.

  415. 415
    zeds says:


  416. 416
    Anonymous says:

    If you’re sure we won’t foil out over it. They don’y call it black gold for nothing

  417. 417
    junior says:

    Those deep fat friers use a heck of a lot of zip my friend.

  418. 418
    Brandon Flowers says:

    Anyone know what the odds for England losing the ashes are at the bookies.

    I got a rule, always bet against the home team.

    Has made me rich so far.

  419. 419
    junior says:

    Why are sons so mean to their moms?

  420. 420
    Lil Olmey says:

    Do Nokia have an Australian division ?
    If so, perhaps it’s possible to commit suicide by Flying Nokia. Get some sent to Snottie ASAP. (He’ll probably miss the first time.)

  421. 421
    Moley says:

    These are good links.

    It would appear that the release was primarily motivated by the desire to stop the appeal which would have been embarrassing.

    Obama’s comments are clearly false, and intended to convey the impression that the US has no doubts over the trial. I think that the US Intelligence Services will have told the president otherwise.

  422. 422
    James Gordon Brown PM says:

    The voters will decide at the general election, I keep promising them. I’m a man of actions not mere words.

    Yours Truly

    Gordon Brown PM

  423. 423
    Lil Olmey says:

    Mandy doesn’t qualify as either man or woman.

  424. 424
    nell says:

    I see gordon is still in hiding as the libyan affair hots up.

    The libyan leader’s son says that the release was linked to the oil deal and militwit is spinning harder than a dervish trying to convince us that it wasn’t.

    He’s making himself dizzy for nothing – the facts are plain to see and the govt is blatantly lying again.

    Morning folks.

  425. 425
    Moley says:

    Pure spin from beginning to end.

    There is no objective analysis, just a barrage of words and phrases with a high emotional content.

    No one reads the Guardian anyway, unless they are already fully signed up to the project.

  426. 426
    Moley says:

    The world listens with incredulity to the rantings of a midget moron in a cheap suit at the Embassy party.

  427. 427
    Mr Slater's Parrot says:


  428. 428
    Engineer says:

    Free Peter Sutcliffe @ 10:06

    No, it’s not Charlie Smallwidge; there’s no grasshopper.

  429. 429
    stilyagi_air_corps says:

    Shades of Livingstone / Chavez, c’est non?

  430. 430
    Sukyspook says:

    Stanislav, is that you?

  431. 431
    Moley says:

    It’s too quiet.

    What odds will anyone give me on an announcement being made within the near future, (just before the conference?) that Brown is resigning “for health reasons”?

  432. 432
    Osama bin laden says:

    Oh Fuck, well thats all our plans knackered then, how the fuck can we carry out attrocities if we have to carry a ID ???

  433. 433
    Anonymous says:

    Typical of this incompetent Government, on both the London Bombings and at Glasgow airport all the terrorists involved made no attempt to conceal their identity. We knew who they were and it was not an issue for them they intended to die anyway so no need to cover their tracks. So thats the type of terrorist we face. So what do this Government do to combat this. ID cards I means FFS !!!

  434. 434
    Dr. Strangehoon says:

    Allegedly South African politicians Botha and Malan. Also was `plane full, only three days before Christmas ? Like much else in this matter surrounded by shadows and fog.

  435. 435
    Dr. Strangehoon says:

    Was `plane delayed at Heathrow ? Intention of bombers for bomb to detonate over Atlantic making recovery of debris almost impossible.

  436. 436
    Agent 99 says:

    Dont ever forget Bliar. It is also reported that in all meetings he had with them this topic was on the agenda. I really hope this one has legs I really do as I am sure McFuckwit will have the ‘courage’ to accept full responsibility and allow someone to resign.
    From my friends and other colleauges in the States I am told this has not gone down really really badly and people are absolutely spitting nails especially after the return to Tripoli was aired on US TV stations country wide.
    Ooo err! Better watch out Gordon don’t expect an invite from Obamarama in the near future as it appears no matter how many times you rename beaches after him you are still fecked and a useless, spineless, double dealing, lying, creepy slimy utter total fucktard! phew!….

    Turned out nice today don’t you think?………

  437. 437
    Agent 99 says:

    meant ‘has gone down badly’ …fucking QA for you I have made that person resign.

  438. 438
    Agent 99 says:

    Humour dear boy…. Humour.

    Remember when Bobby Sands the hunger striker died? Not long after that I was driving down the M1. Someone has spray painted across one of the bridges.

    “Danny Sands we will never forget you”

    I nearly ended up in the crash barriers…..

  439. 439
    Agent 99 says:

    More like slept with Mandy as he’s always interested in looking at Uranus.

  440. 440
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    Macavity reverting to type!

  441. 441
    Anonymous says:

    The BBC won’t mention the fact that Mandy met Gaddafi’s son a day or 2 before the appeal was dropped and the release given.

    Sky mention it sometimes, but rarely, and only really when independent commentators happen to mention it when being interviewed, and then the sky journalists quickly try to bin that issue and move onto something else before anyone notices. If sky journalists do mention it then it’s glossed over very quickly and not followed up.

    One day, when labour are out of power and mandy’s/brown’s “influence” is no longer an issue, the truth will come out, and the public will be absolutely horrified at the tactics that labour have been using behind the scenes.

    My guess is that once labour are gone, we might well end up with a review of Dr Kelly’s death.

    If you think that a simple oil-contract-for-release deal is as bad as it gets then you’d be living in denial. This kind of stuff, and things like the McBride emails, are just the tip of the iceberg, a shiny veneer; what’s really going on in the background is far more terrifying.

    Just ask yourself how the most disastrous chancellor we’ve ever had who ruined the economy (which was evident before the financial collapse to anyone with half a brain) and who not a single member of the public think is competent (or even human) managed to usurp an elected leader who had a huge majority and place himself in charge without a single vote being cast, seize power with nobody asking any questions in the media or in the labour party, create 2 trillion pounds of debt without even having a debate, piss all over the military, lie every chance he gets without being questioned by the media or labour, and divert attention 100% towards the americans when the system that he setup directly caused the collapse of the economy and have nobody question him.

    It’ll all come out in the end, and you’ll see that brown/labour have been doing things in the background which make the mafia look like the W.I.

    This is not just political spin, this is something far, far worse; it will come out in the end and you’ll all kick yourselves for not physically kicking labour/brown out of Parliament/DowningSt back when Kelly’s death happened, because that was the key moment that should have showed you all the signs of what’s really happening; that should have been the trigger which caused questions to be asked and parliament to have been disolved.

    As a country we’ve sleepwalked into this mess, even though all the warning signs were there, and we only have ourselves to blame for not forcing a change of government.

    We should have marched.

    We should have stopped these evil bastards before it was too late.

  442. 442
    Worried Farmer says:

    Shit. We’ve only just recovered from the last BSE outbreak.

  443. 443
    King Karlos says:

    Shouldn’t that be Scottish c unt dancing

  444. 444
    Anonymous says:

    He touches himself (often), so your assertion that “Everything Brown touches turns to shit.” is self-evidently true.

  445. 445
    Enlarged Prostate says:

    do try to keep up

  446. 446
    Enlarged Prostate says:

    thanks for those links

  447. 447
    Trough Mixture says:

    Of course there’s no flash. You leave your knob in your breeks when you wee.

  448. 448
    Anonymous says:

    The Official American protest from the US Government is a sham for their people. They were in on this decision, that much is clear.

  449. 449
    Anonymous says:

    Unfortunately absolutely nothing will bring this Government down such is the state of Politics today.They have no shame in anything. We will just have to be patient.

  450. 450
    Kiki says:

    He has worked VERY hard all summer and has stood next to someone who has 120 jobs:

  451. 451
    Gooey Blob says:

    As ever, Brown is hiding behind Mandelson’s skirts. He hasn’t exactly covered himself with glory over this affair, and nor has Mandelson. That’s par for the course with the present Labour lot. A once honourable party reduced to this nasty scheming and dishonest regime. They need a good clear-out.

  452. 452
    Anonymous Source says:

    As usual with any problem in the UK to-day Prime Minister Brown is nowhere to be seen.He allows innuendo and rumour to fill the vacuum left by his absence and thereby makes a difficult situation a crisis of confidence in his leadership and Premiership and allows the idea of UK government collusion(whether it’s true or not)to gain traction whilst he huddles in a cold “fug” in a darkened room hoping it will all evaporate and that Peter will sort it out for him

  453. 453
    pete-s says:

    Where Gordon: Probably looking at Megrahi’s medical recods, because if Megrahi is not dead by Dec 1, then McSnotty will have the finger pointed at him. All those involved in this grubby little deal, McSnotty, Mandelbum and slimy Salmond, will see who craps on who first to save their political skin. Can’t wait to watch this happen

  454. 454
    Kenny McAskill says:

    Och, ye nawt a truueEEEEe Shcooowtschmun uhnliss ye barck a truuUUUlhe bruve ‘n’ induhpeeEEEeeenunt Shcooowtlund.

  455. 455
    Hurf Durf says:

    Jocks speak, world gets pissed off, Euro-Socialists, barbarian muslims and the Chinese lap it up.

    Scotland now a pariah state. Fucking delicious!

  456. 456
    Curious, as distinct from Georgeous, George says:

    The UK signed a treaty with Libya allowing prisoners to be transferred between the countries jails. How many Libyans were in UK jails?

  457. 457
    Jethro says:

    …isn’t it obvious to all?
    A heavily swathed and disguised person is ‘released on compassionate grounds’, and, as he walks down from the Aircraft in Libya, is greeted with tumultuous cheers and much waving of the Cross of St. Andrew.
    Meanwhile, ‘Mr.’ Mandleson is admitted to a London Hospital, with an international reputation in many areas of Surgery.
    Gordon Brown has been ‘exchanged’ to Libya; ‘Mr.’ Mandleson (this ?deliberate breach of etiquette would be typical of ex-KGB operatives) has extensive cosmetic surgery. Meanwhile, a former U.K. prisoner, a quondam ‘Libyan’ Intelligence operative, is – where?
    That, my friends, is the next question.

  458. 458
    thick as thieves says:

    you must be new here.
    I am top boy and I keep c’unts like joey in line, if I did not then this place would descend into anarchy.
    let me tell you about joey’s case: joey is a new labour troll who is here to damage the stats by posting witless garbage. he is a spoiler, a vandal.
    please mind your own business retard.

  459. 459
    Raddykhal Mullah In Finsbury Park says:








  460. 460
    Alex Grossman (Hollywood) says:

    Hi thick as thieves the wall street journal is scalp~hunting for new talent and u seem to b top dog those fukking liberal looney britshit leftovers aint’ good enuff for the likes of u thick as thieves y dont’ u fukk off to america and get properly appreeshaeatid u stewpid boaring lazy idle useless banqkrupt dogskrypt fukka


  461. 461
    Howard Kaylan says:

    Sightings can be posted here.

  462. 462
    Bill O'Bong says:

    His faggoty arse is hosting Mandelscum’s little fireman – the whole pole, as t’were.

  463. 463
    butt plug says:

    Are you joking?!!!

  464. 464
    Bill O'Bong says:

    It IS Mandelscum! He’s neutered the Useless One-Eyed Scottish Twat. Anyone in the government daring to say a word about anything receives a white-hot poker up the shit-shute, courtesy of Lord Bumboy of Hartlepool. They’re all too afraid to order a plate of cold porage.

  465. 465
    Bill O'Bong says:

    The bugger would miss!

  466. 466
    Bill O'Bong says:

    Not really, but you could kick him in the nuts and hold his head under the cold, cold waters of the tarn until no more bubbles came out of his arse.

  467. 467
    summer_Breeze says:

    They’ll be bankrupt before the year is out.
    After all, who’d want to take the chance of sleeping in the same bed, that he has used?

    It was the guys with that little boat he went on I feel sorry for, it’s a wonder ( shame ) it didn’t go down when he was on it.

  468. 468
    Chief Engineer says:

    Spot on, Anonymous.

    Even now, why aren’t they marching. It must be because they’ve been brain washed into stupidity by the AlgaBeeba and are too busy counting their triple star A levels.

    How long Oh Lord ?

  469. 469

    He’s gone where all cautious men go – to Freemasons’ Hall.

  470. 470
    Anonymous says:

    Some people find chanting repetitive mantra’s is a good way of inducing a feeling of tranquillity. If that is the case here’s one you may find useful,

    “Shit is brown,
    Brown is shit!”

  471. 471
    Anonymous says:

    Sadly, the only marches being organised seem to be by the left wing itself to try and get more public sector jobs and to stop any kind of public sector reform.

    Where are all the normal people? Where’s the march that the majority of people should be on? We need a march for this:

    “You’ve destroyed our economy, pissed on our democracy, shat on our military, caused a public debt that it’ll take generations to pay back, you destroy anyone who voices their oposition to your negligence, the PM was never elected and neither was most of the rest of the cabinet. We’ve had enough. Now fuck off and let someone else have a go.”

  472. 472
    Can't Kukri, Won't Kukri says:

    Bit of a scoop for the ST, I’d say- the Gray report on defence procurement.
    Very, very deep dark sticky shit for Broon and his familiars. No fucking wonder they want to memory-hole it.

    “The problems, and the sums of money involved, have almost lost their power to shock, so endemic is the issue,” writes Gray. “It seems as though military equipment acquisition is vying in a technological race with the delivery of civilian software systems for the title of ‘world’s most delayed technical solution’. Even British trains cannot compete.”

  473. 473
    thick as thieves says:

    if you could please re-submit your comment in English then I will be happy to post a response.
    many thanks.
    must be a spastic? yes, an american spastic.
    they do seem to have an unfair share of them.

  474. 474
    Jim Porker, Labour MP for Dagenham East says:

    Wouldn’t surprise me. Obummer is a cad for “reaching out” to thugs, though Bush was no better with his October decision to give Libya immunity from victims gaining further compensation.

  475. 475
    Jim Porker, Labour MP for Dagenham East says:

    oh ffs. this was a reply to August 22nd 2.56pm.

  476. 476
    Wily old bird says:

    It’s the start of the grouse season, as your lordship should know.

  477. 477
    Stravaiger says:

    Brown is reviled in Scotland. He, in turn, hates Alex Salmond and the SNP more than anything in the world for taking over his wee pet New Labour/Lib Dem controlled parliament and running Scotland in the interests of the Scots. Blair arranged a prisoner transfer scheme with Libya without consulting Salmond. Gaddaffy thought he was arranging a mechanism to tie the oil deal in with the transfer of Megrahi. Blair, Mandelson et al failed to explain that the SNP were in charge of justice, among other matters in Scotland.

    The decision to release the mortally ill Megrahi was taken on compassionate grounds entirely according to Scots Law. The man is dying from a very aggressive form of cancer. Since most Scots, including some unionist supporters in the heavyweight Scottish and London newspapers (Herald, Telegraph & Observer) believe that Megrahi and Libya were fitted up by the American security services, a fact due to be revealed in Megrahi’s appeal, the Justice Secretary’s compassionate decision therefore suited Brown. However, MacAskill most certainly did not act on Brown’s instructions. Gaddaffy is playing the UK and the USA off against one another. In the meantime, Milliband has slammed a PII certificate on the information that would clear Megrahi and point the finger back at the Iranians and Syrians.
    Of course Paul Foot published all this stuff in Private Eye years ago.

  478. 478
    Alex Grossman (Hollywood) says:

    Hi thiqk as too short planqks the wall street dgjurnal is scalp~hunting for gnu

    talent and u seem to b top dogshit those fukking liberal looney gnulayboar britshit

    leftovers aint’ good enuff for the likes of u thiqk as too short planqks y dont’ u

    fukk off too amerryka ware u belong and get properly appreeshaeatid u stewpit

    boaring lazy idle useless banqkrupt awl amerrykan dogskrypting wangqka

  479. 479
    Finn says:

    Yes, sir William. Spot on!

  480. 480
    TERRY says:


  481. 481
    tat says:

    still nothing.
    but you have managed to double space. well done!
    now put the corrected English version of your gibberish in the spaces and I will be able to understand what you are wittering on about.
    this is like running a care in the community programme FFS.

  482. 482
    Anonymous says:

    MacCavity strikes again!

  483. 483
    Spaedo Paedofile says:


    WOOD DU AND RESPOND TOO Alex Grossman (Hollywood) U STEWPIT



  484. 484
    Gordon 'Fart In A Trance' B says:

    Apparently James Brown is ‘angry and repulsed’ about the bombers reception.

    Well I am angry and repulsed that such a completely useless, laughing stock of a pratt is our P.M.

  485. 485
    TERRY says:


  486. 486
    Anonymous says:

    all the sheep shagers stay there

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