August 12th, 2009

Most MPs are Sh*ts

Alan Duncan has been caught on camera complaining that post expense-gate he lives on rations and is “treated like shit”. He is now backtracking and claiming it was only said in jest and it is a great honour to blah, blah, blah. He of course lives in a Westminster pad worth well over a million quid and a constituency house which we pay to maintain in some style. We also paid him four hundred quid a month tax free, no receipts required for groceries. (MPs recently voted in a show of piss-taking to raise that to five hundred quid.) Not exactly hardship rations.

The more MPs Guido meets, the more he is confirmed in his view that they are for the most; venal, egotistical, untrustworthy, shits. Alan Duncan has to ask himself why he is treated so. Guido says “treat ‘em as you find ‘em…”


  1. 1
    ED says:

    he’s quite a nice sh*t though imho!

  2. 2
    freddie flintoff says:

    fuckin shot them all up the arse

  3. 3
    Mrs Broon (No Relation) says:

    No he is not, he is a buffoon and a complete twat. I would not give him 64pence far less £64.000.

  4. 4
    freddie flintoff says:

    there all the fuckin same , god help us

  5. 5
    Mikey says:

    They are all living in a parallel universe…….. Neither the Tories nore Labour seem to get it. Politicians in this country are despised, because they milk the taxpayer for every penny they can, and they all seem incapable of actually telling the truth, whether it be about their expenses, their policies, the effects of their policies…… need I go on??

  6. 6
    freddie flintoff says:

    mikey , i sort of agree but we get a ” choice ” thats all , just live in hope

  7. 7
    freddie flintoff says:

    the only ones i find ” normal” are kate hoey, will hauge , frank field , phill holibourne , david winnock can anyone else think of any ?

  8. 8
    Scottyboy says:

    Dispense with the lot of them – get the WRI to run the country! At least Hardface Harman would be happy then.

  9. 9
    Michael Vaughan says:

    Hope you’ll be back for the 5th test freddie

    Shame the bastards didn’t believe you could’ve done the last one when you told them.

  10. 10
    freddie flintoff says:

    thats what you get with poshboy straussy

  11. 11
    Mikey says:

    You are rgiht Freddie, at some time we will get a “choice” The real problem is that so many of us are so totally p****d off at the lot of ‘em that lots of people won’t vote, maybe leaving the door open for the lunatic fringe.
    Why is it that none of the mcan actually tell the truth? Why can’t Labour admit that they totally screwed things up, we are in the s**t, and public services will have to be cut, taxes increased, or the country will go broke.
    Why can’t the Tories tell it like it is – we are in the s**t, we gotta cut services and raise taxes, or the country goes broke.

    All the tiptoeing around both parties are doing is not very edifying.

  12. 12
    Agent 99 says:


    UK jobless figure up and climbs to 2.4m

    The number of people out of work in the UK has risen to its highest level since 1995, official figures have shown.

    2.4 million like hell it is more like 6.4 million

  13. 13
    freddie flintoff says:

    i am going to ” do a polly ” and give them a chance , if they stick to they manifesto fair play , if they turnout like “new” labour , then i wont vote for them again , i watched some clips of maggie ( posted one on last thread )
    and she said the same things about labour as we are saying now

  14. 14
    Agent 99 says:

    meant to say…funny the video should appear today of all days…well go figure that!

  15. 15
    Mikey says:

    You cynic!! You don’t think that it would have anything to do with trying to take some attention away from the news about jobs????? As if!!!

  16. 16
    righty right wing (mrs) says:

    They really are all scum.

    Not a public servant amongst them.

    Voting for anyone but an independent, free of the Party Machines, is an act of immense & immeasurable stupidity.

    £500 a month receipt & tax free for food under the “new rules?”

    Well, we all said at the time that allowing MPs to clean their own house was akin to allowing criminals to fix the Justice System.

    Lamp posts, piano wire immediately spring to mind.

  17. 17
    A Silent Emission of Bowel Gas says:

    I’ve been on rations, too. I’m down to just two bottles of bolly a day, no more than four ounces of fois gras, less than a spoonful of caviar and almost no blow whatsoever.

    It really is just as bad as poor Alan says.

  18. 18
    Very confused Tory Lady says:

    Why do we keep getting these comments from cricketers on here? I thought this was a nice place to come for a political discussion

  19. 19
    ian e says:

    Let’s face it, he is a shit – and the best thing to do is thus to treat him like shit, i.e. flush him down the pan. [Alternatively, as he is a pain in the arse, give him to Mandelson – I dare say they would bend over backwards to help each other.]

    He must at least be flushed out of the Shadow Cabinet – the idea that someone with such an open (and totally unjustified!) sense of entitlement should have any chance of being part of the next government is frightening.

  20. 20
    Can't be bovvered when the sun shines says:

    If they paid us a proper wage to be unemployed that would solve the problem.

  21. 21
    mad fred 2 para retired says:

    £500 a month tax free with no receipts – and this is in the new rules?

    Why hasn’t the MSN been on to this?

    The BBC is far too cosy with Westminster and is absolutely failing to hold them to account.

    £500 per MP per month would buy alot of body armour for the 18 year old lads these utter b_stards sent to win the hearts and minds of those 7th century intellectuals in Afghanistan.

    Petrol prices rising, unemployment rising, everything going to sh_t and MPS still helping themselves and laughing at us – I hope this leads to a bloody revolution.

  22. 22
    freddie flintoff says:

    we have votes to lass

  23. 23
    Anonymous says:

    Not the first time he’s “joked” about expenses.

  24. 24
    Sir William Waad says:

    “There’s small choice in rotten apples.” (Shakespeare)

  25. 25
    Lord R Sole says:

    It’s all due to global warming you know.

  26. 26
    Sabine de Quincy says:

    It feels like ‘Back to the Future” for me. The Tories seem to have learned nothing since the days of Heath and Labour have learned nothing since the days of Healey. Is it really 30 years since there was a brief period of half-sanity, although that was marred by some stonking idiocy, such as being the party which helped Shirley Williams smash the education system.

    It’s about time the whole party-system vampire had a stake shoved through its er, heart, and we went back to individual accountable constituency MPs. It means you have to pay attention to which person you are voting in, but it’s much harder for them to get together and plot to do nothing but rob the public blind.

  27. 27
    George Laird says:

    Dear All

    Out of this sorry episode we have learned the truth about Alan Duncan.

    He is a bitter man who feels hard done by.

    Still nice to see a Tory tell the truth even if it is how upset he is about losing perks he is not entitled to.

    What is happening about George Osborne’s mortgage?

    Will he be increasing it even further at the taxpayers expense?

    Yours sincerely

    George Laird
    The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University

  28. 28
    Ed says:

    Glow-ball warming, shurely ?

  29. 29
    resurgemus says:

    So is Alex Salmond still taking the £500 ?

    Seemed so when his expenses were published. SNP like a trough too.

  30. 30
    resurgemus says:

    I quite respect Dennis Skinner, though I don’t agree with his politics

  31. 31
    Sir William Waad says:

    It’s a shame because Dunkers is rather a good egg in other ways, being a sort of modern libertarian. His opinions are in the right place. If he could just keep his hands out of the till he would be the kind of MP that we need more of. Unfortunately his advocacy of small government seems to include not having your expense claims properly checked. He may get this elastic attitude to expenses from his partner, who is some sort of journo.

  32. 32
    Old Rockape says:

    So why is anyone Supprised!!They are all a load of lying stealing Toe-rags Shoot the lot of them

  33. 33
    Thomas Turtel says:

    Conservative claims that the party is a progressive force in politics are “rank hypocrisy”, Business Secretary Lord Mandelson has said.

    Sorry Mr Mandelstone, come in, your time is up

  34. 34

    Dear resurgemus

    This jealously of the First Minister of Scotland is so unworthy of you.

    It must be the SNP are going a superb job in Scotland.

    You are genuinely rattled.

    Yours sincerely

    George Laird
    The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University

  35. 35

    Still, when the money and food runs out next year, expenses will be the last thing on their minds…

    Mandlescum should be the first on the piano wire.

    Soames might need industrial cable though.

  36. 36
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    There’s a lot to be said for the people’s right to bear arms. We really do need to shoot a few of these arrogant little twerps who have the nerve to think they can rule us.

  37. 37
    Trough Mixture says:

    Tolerable are Winnick, M(r)s Fe…Fea…Featherstone and Bob M-A because he’s a hoot though has troughed I think.

  38. 38
    Greychatter says:

    Hazel Blears ( Gob-on-Legs ) has her car vandalised last weekend while canvassing in her Salford constituency. Not someone with a grudge or about her expenses but kids on a hot afternoon, according to her.

    Four tyres slashed and windscreen smashed and no one saw anything.

    Probable most people in that area of Salford don’t have a job thanks to her Governments policies.

    When will these Politicians waken up?

  39. 39
    resurgemus says:


    you quite rightly attack all the others when their noses are in the trough. I am simply pointing out that the SNP has yet to prove it has any better standards than the rest.

  40. 40
    Paw Broon says:

    David Cameron should sack the silly idiot.

  41. 41
    Anonymous says:

    How long before Mrs Dale starts pissing his/her/its pants in rage at Guido’s mistreatment of Alan Duncan. Don’t you know Alan is simply faaaaaaabulous?

  42. 42
  43. 43
    Greychatter says:

    Did it start in America?

  44. 44
    resurgemus says:

    Pot , kettle

    Business Secretary Lord Mandelson, currently standing in for Prime Minister Gordon Brown who is on holiday, told the BBC News Channel: “Alan Duncan is very fond of speaking a good game publicly but in private talking and acting quite differently, so I am not surprised he has been found out.”

  45. 45
    Chris Harrison says:

    George, do you know the difference between “envy” and “jealousy”? Neither especially apt here, but still, demonstrates the illiteracy that evidently abounds in Scottish educational establishments.

  46. 46
  47. 47
    Longshanks says:

    And still no one dares to mention the constant influx of immigrants boosting that number daily.

  48. 48
    keith dovkunts says:

    George Laird says:

    “He is a bitter man who feels hard done by.”

    But feels a better man when done hard.

  49. 49
    Sukyspook says:

    It matters not which ‘front’ is pasted onto “parliament” (which translates as ‘talking lies’ – (parle/mentir) lol).

    It’s written in some allegedly “forged document” (wink) that our political representatives would be treated in this way so that we’d be completely turned off by all politicians and hence we’d feel powerless to do anything, thus allowing the fascists in whilst we’re looking the other way. All going as planned I’d say!

  50. 50
    Cornet Pompadour-Wafer says:

    I believe they keep a drum or two at the Cavalry Club for emergencies.

  51. 51
    Chapps says:

    Sack the shit DC.

  52. 52
    Chuck Unsworth says:

    Duncan just isn’t very clever. And he’s never been able to resist any opportunity to open his mouth – and put very unsavoury things in it.

    Like his foot, I mean.

  53. 53
    D. Icke says:

    lizard, newt

    Business secretary Mandleson after being caught out on the chief newt’s yacht on Corfu – again – doesn’t give a fuck because he can do what he pleases.

  54. 54
    Liberace's Lawyer says:

    Clear grounds for divorce I’d say.

  55. 55
    Mike Law says:


    Set up your own political party and I’m sure there’ll be many who will stand on your ticket… that’d shake up the fuckers!

  56. 56
    Bopara oh dear says:

    Parliament gives stupid amounts of “Short Money” to opposition parties to carry out their duties.

    Apparently taxpayers money is needed to “be spent on front-bench research support”

    Grand Total is £6,945,905 for this year. (Including travel expenses.)

    Do the Social Democratic and Labour party need £61,000 of YOUR money???

  57. 57
    Trough Mixture says:

    Testing the pocket depth of German industrialist Freiherr Axel von Otl.

  58. 58
    Anonymous says:

    Alan Duncan is an odious turd.

  59. 59
    mad fred 2 para retired says:

    Lets lock and load – its time to rock n roll.

    Lets drive these fuckers into the North Sea.

  60. 60
    Hope Springs Eternal says:

    My MP having achieved bugger all in his commercial life thinks he’s pretty clever. In fact he’s a dunce for all intents and purposes. Superficially pleasant with a nice smile in a greeter sort of way, he is very easily flattered by those he perceives as having money. Rather cheap as those with money don’t go and do the leg work, canvass or put up the banners.

    As much as I have tried to support him locally it has proved not worth the effort. Offers to help raise funds for the Tory party don’t even get a thanks. Numerous letters from me and others go unanswered. His interest in village life is effectively non existent.

    Many old guard have worked tirelessly over many years to introduce him to the movers and shakers. Some have been repaid with hospitality.

    It is most disappointing. He certainly cannot abide his own age group who are interested in politics as it appears he perceives them as some sort of threat. If they were they would be doing his job as he is to put it bluntly, crap. He is honest so all hope is not lost despite his very poor judge of character.

    In our patch the party could put forward any old dross and they would romp home with a 10,000 majority.

    We all deserve what we get.

  61. 61
    Anonymous says:


  62. 62
    shelling-out says:

    Alan Duncan would do well to shut his mouth.

    If he lost his job, home and pension – now that’s being treated like shit.

    He hasn’t got a clue.

  63. 63
    Very confused Tory Lady says:

    Oh thank you for explaining, Mr Flintoff.

    What a nice man!

  64. 64
    freeman says:

    All MP’s must be allowed expenses for the following items, without having to submit receipts.

    1) A bottle of malt whisky.

    2) A loaded revolver.

    Flipping to any property is allowed.

  65. 65
    shelling-out says:

    Pot, kettle, black!

  66. 66
    Alibarbs says:

    Come on Cameron, sack this piece of shit. Clearly CMD’s words were like all politicans – utterly false and dishonest. He sacrificed a couple of party members to make himself look good and now it’s business as usual.

    Whilst he’s at it, he should also get rid of my local MP Bob Neill, another trougher who seems to have managed to slime his way out of too much media attention in spite of being a grade A thief who claims for a second home in spite of his first one being only 50 minutes from central london on the train.

    He’s also managed to reduce a 12,000 majority in what’s traditionally a Tory stronghold to just 633, and I could see the seat being lost if he stands for it in the next election, as everyone I know in the area has no interest in voting for the Tories whilst he’s their candidate.

    Such a shame that the public are so disenfranchised with politics now, as we really do need to see 70% of these thieving scumbags (from all three parties) being unceremoniously booted out next summer. Sadly, I suspect that this won’t happen – what we need is a parliament full of independent MPs who put their constiuents and the country as a whole first, rather than their pockets, careers and party.

  67. 67
    Penfold says:

    The shits in Westminster are no different to the shits in Brussels, and it these latter bastards who really rule the roost.
    Hands in tills and palms raised for the latest rounds of freebies and expenses, we really shouldn’t be so disappointed with these clowns. We’ve got the government we deserve as a result of the apathy at the voting booth and the supine acceptance that those in power know best. The result is the destruction of schools, education, policing, justice, employment, marriage, ethics, morales etc.
    Shoot the lot of ‘em

  68. 68
    Hope Springs Eternal says:

    Not true, he is actually quite clever and he is also lucky. Sooner have luck than judgement.

    He does have his weaknesses. Vanity, sexual orientation and quest for cash. So do millions of others.

    He will I fear be an early casualty with a new Tory administration. We shall see.

    Don’t cross him, he’s dangerous and likely well connected.

  69. 69
    NewGirl says:

    When I’m an MP Guido, I won’t be a shit. I’ll take you out for Guiness on expenses too.

  70. 70
    bloke with nadgers says:

    O/T More good ammunition against the ginger plague. Redheads are dentist-dodging ginger-whingers.

    Politically correct scientists in Cleveland Ohio are trying to excuse redheads by blaming their condition on “a mutation in the MC1R gene”. Do-gooders say this sort of thing about all manner of weirdos and perverts but it just doesn’t wash. If you can’t do the time don’t do the crime!

  71. 71
    Alibarbs says:

    As usual, George Laird refuses to answer the question (you’d make a great MP George!).

    The fact that (in your opinion) the SNP are doing a good job is completely irrelevant to its leader and other elected MSPs are ripping off the public – I wonder how good a job they’ll do if and when they get the independence they so desperately crave and don’t have the rest of the union to go cap in hand to when they want to give away stuff for free that the rest of us have to pay for?

    The fact that you try to brush Salmond’s thievery under the the carpet shows you in your true colours – no better than the thieving scum we have to put up with in both Westminster and Holyrood.

    At least most of us here will gladly slate members of all parties, including the one we traditionally supprt, for their dishonesty.

  72. 72
    Norah Batter says:

    dare I say that Strauss is a rubbish captain – oooppps

  73. 73
    Hope Springs Eternal says:

    Well said.

    Yours 50 mins from central London by train? Ours is 35mins to the City!

    I wonder if our MP’s are related? Was his seat a gift from Hague, Howard or Duncan-Smith?

  74. 74
    The Beast Of Clerkenwell says:

    You shameless self promoting tawt Harry

  75. 75
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Was AD over tired and emotional by any chance?

    Unemployment figures do not look good, The Telegraph has a story about Mandelson’s rapid repayment of a mortgage of 3/4 milllion Pounds, and how he claimed that he had used the proceeds of a share share.

    Mandelson also screws up on an interview on Pravda 4, and plants a reply in t’Grauniad about how the Tories will cut the economy and feed themselves on live babies. Then there is the piracy ‘incident’ which could highlight the current impotence of The Royal Navy thanks to Gordon McStalin Broon.

    Even Al Beeb mentioned that the Alan Duncan rant appeared on You Tube in July and then disappeared off the radar. Then today of all days, the story reappears just in time for the lunchtime news. Something stinks like rotting fish.

  76. 76
    Mark Oaten says:

    As you all know I have an affinity for shits, Gay sex and politics.
    Maybe Dunky could poop around to my place one evening when the missus is looking after the kids?

  77. 77
    Geoffrey Boycott says:

    ……and I pop up occasionally to provide deep sighted insight and analysis especially to young freddie here, he’s just getting going ya know and then he’s just about to stop as well, never could understand Lancastrians.

  78. 78
    The Baiters' Master. says:

    The best thing that could happen is that the “Have I Got News For You” producers invite him back onto the show. Duncan is such a complete prat that he thinks he is actually amusing. In fact he is a toe curlingly out of touch and embarrassing for the political class, a superb source of mirth to all of us who think Parliament and our Hon friends deserve to be culled en masse.

  79. 79
    Rolf Harris says:

    I’ve just lost £200 per month severe disability allowance to pay for it! Apparently, you now only get disability benefits when you’re dead – may as well be!

  80. 80
    Archer Karcher says:

    The fascists are already there and have been for some time now.

    Forget about the B&P, they are a sideshow created specially for the gullible.

    Fascism is at the core of the “progressive” movement, CMD, Clegg and McRuin / Bliar all call themselves “progressives” and the same shit permeates from all their rotten identikit parties.

    There is no real choice offered by any of the gang of three, thats why they hate and vilify alternatives that may just challenge there cosy little cartel, its gangland turf war though, nothing else.

    Whichever of the gang of three get in, the dumb will still have to pay the mobsters for their protection and it will be business as usual.

    In America they call it the two party one choice system, here it is three parties that are all, beneath the bullshit, ideologically virtually the identical.

    Break the chains and vote them out, free yourselves or live as serfs.

  81. 81

    Brilliantly put, Mikey. Those who actually tell the truth are generally thrown to the backbenches or out of the party entirely (see the young Tory who mentioned that he would be voting UKIP on June 4th).

    It’s only going to get worse too. There are hundreds of new bloods coming in at the next GE and they have all been trained the same fucking way. The latest one can’t even write a letter to a constituent herself, without cribbing from party HQ memos.

    One can only hope that one day the pleblic will wake up and violently refuse to accept the shit that is thrown at them on a daily basis.

  82. 82
    RavingMad says:

    Mandelson, the unelected and uninvited leader of the country – what a shit – isn’t this unconstitutional – we are apparently a democracy????

  83. 83
    mad fred 2 para retired says:

    BBC Pravda doing what it does best – supporting Labour at all & any cost.

  84. 84
    Deeply annoyed says:

    What a maggot. Twats like that two faced twat Alan Duncan are the reason people hate politicans these days. Do us all a favour, Duncan….crawl back under your rock and don’t come out during daylight hours ever again. You’re a toad mate, nothing more

  85. 85
    Multiple Miggs says:

    I agree and I’ve got a nose for that sort of thing!

  86. 86
    Sir William Waad says:

    (With apologies to Disney/Peter Pan)

    Never smile
    At a coprophile….

  87. 87
    Anonymous says:

    he won’t answer the question cos he’s part of the problem too. He’s on the gravy train too, another non job paid for by yours truly, the taxpayer. Non of these people would ever get a real job having to EARN REVENUE, instead of them getting it on a plate paid for by the taxpayer. There are so many of them.

  88. 88
    Taxfodder says:

    The biggest joke is on the party faithful that support his antics.

    Clearly AD is not the only one who likes it up the arse!

  89. 89
    Miss Anna Grammar says:

    Fino being youth’s sojourn!

  90. 90
    Pudge Facker says:

    Feck off Breast of Clerkenwell, you right tit (or left tit, whatever). Nothing interesting to say, as usual with you.

  91. 91
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    “Guiness on expenses”

    You mean you’d get US to pay for Guidos drink? ;)

  92. 92
    Dodgy Djanogly says:

    He was quite good on HIGNFY. Oh no…that was Paul Merton I was thinking of. Duncan’s threat to assassinate an American beauty queen was actually quite disturbing.

  93. 93
    hazel blears - postman pat in drag says:

    I fully sympathise. Someone attacked my car….me an MP!

  94. 94
    Archer Karcher says:

    That is because they imagine the tories are not largely a socialist party.

    Unfortunately the evidence points in the opposite direction, at heart the tories are an unholy amalgam of closet socialists, corporatists, capitalists, statists and libertarians.

    With the exception of the Thatcher and Churchill era`s, the closet socialists have dominated the parliamentry party leadership, since the last war.

    CMD is one of them.

  95. 95
    Edward McMillan-Scott MEP says:

    Well I’m going to spend the next five years troughing away and sod David Cameron, sod Kirkhope and sod that fascist Polish Jonny Kaminski…!

  96. 96
    shelling-out says:

    Protection? What protection?

    We don’t have any right to protection since the law for Terrorism was passed. If we refuse to give our name and address we could be arrested under the Prevention of Terrorism Act.

    Prisoners are being let out of jail early to go and commit yet more crimes, some of them violent.

    A father of 5 was kicked to death by two thugs whilst out shopping.

    Some protection.

  97. 97
    shelling-out says:

    Yes – he is clever. Clever enough to get a very well-paid job and then milk it for all it’s worth.

  98. 98
    X marks the spot says:

    They are of course universally a bunch of sh*ts and anyone who thinks that where one puts ones X makes a difference they are sadly delusional.

    Take time out, when they get back from the entire summer off, go and watch, soak up the acting skills and notice how, as part of the best scamming club in the country, they are all ‘mates’

  99. 99
    Augeas says:

    DC should sack Duncan and then challenge Lord Mendacious of Mortgage and Hinduja to resign as a recognition that he should never have returned to politics after being caught lying twice. He needs to sack Osborne as well for tarting around with Mendacious’s friends Rothschild and Deripaska.

    But he won’t, just as he won’t make any coherent statement about Government waste and where to eradicate it so that public services can be preserved, as he is a PR man with no substance to him.

  100. 100
    Ruth Kelly's plaything says:

    The general air of disillusion with our current politics is IMHO very dangerous, yet the mass of MPs doesn’t seem to have woken up to that fact. The enhanced £500-a-month help-yourself fund proves it.

    The blighters have broken the system yet are putting nothing of substance in its place. With very few exceptions, at the next GE no voter with any sense will vote FOR any mainstream-party candidate, though many will vote AGAINST.

    That ought to produce some interesting upsets and a bit of diversion, but it will do nothing to put in place a serious government capable of sorting the country out.

    Came across a website the other day for something calling itself ‘The New Party’ that ticked many of my boxes. Anyone know anything about them?

  101. 101
    An MP says:

    We have to choose from one of the following: (a) I was only joking (b) I’m standing down at the next Election for health reasons, or, (c) I am leaving to spend more time with my family.

  102. 102
    Sir William Waad says:

    Short Money – I thought that was expenses for TV Peer Lord Sugar of Amstrad?

  103. 103
    Anthony Stead says:

    Its wearly twoulbesome. My afwaid my Wolls Woyce will get damaged because the’re all jealous.

  104. 104
    Eileen Critchley says:

    I had the pleasure of attending a dinner with the aforementioned Mr Duncan where he went to great lengths to tell everyone present of how he had given up his glittering legal career to become an MP. Yawn.

    The general thread was ‘Oh its alright for your generation, we took all the flak during the wilderness years, now Labour have begun to implode all you have to do is turn up! Hmmm….

    Then just recently I heard that another MP had described the expense claiming habits of a colleague, not surprisingly also with a legal background, as ‘mitigating his losses’. Priceless! or not as the case maybe.

    May I suggest the party produces some branded body armour for canvassers.

  105. 105
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Sir Will
    These politicians all seem to have brown teeth and appalling breath.
    We could be onto something

  106. 106
    The big D says:

    Both main parties have no wish to annoy Labour’s client group; the people who have made a career and lifestyle choice to live on the welfare state, and to a lesser degree government placement employees.

    Labour need to spin the investment not cuts line to get their voters out at the general election, the Tories want the “no deep cuts” line so that disappointed Labour voters are not moved to vote for Labour. Both sides feel that telling the truth would be a bad thing for them.

    Lying to the public, knowingly, willingly and not caring about the effect, underlines how little respect politicians have for the public. They have held the public in contempt for so long, they know no other way.

    The only way of resolving the problem is to make voting for Labour or Tories or Lib Dems as socially acceptable as cannibalism or incest. Once public revulsion to voting for political parties is established there is a chance for independent candidates to be elected and take note of the electorate’s wishes.

    The Tories may claim they are looking to reduce the power of the party whips, it is not enough. While a political party has more influence than the electorate, on the career of a MP, the contempt for the public will continue.

  107. 107
    Anonymous says:

    We need the Thatcher government back-then they can do Spitting Image again. The government will still be shit but at least there’ll be something on tv worth watching.

  108. 108
    Herakles says:

    Augeas No. 96 – While we are on the subject “dump your horseshit elsewhere in future” Labourlist.borg might be a good start.

  109. 109
    X marks the spot says:

    Sounds like David Amess, a smiling shit and in a constituency where you could put up a plastic dog turd and as long as it was wrapped in blue, it would get a majority!

  110. 110

    The Gerbil Worming Scam started in Al Gores office.

  111. 111
    Mark Ramprakash says:

    Did you know I can dance, really really dance.

  112. 112
    Drew A Blank says:

    I have been searching for an honest politician.

  113. 113
    W.G. Grace. says:

    What the fuck do I know, I’ve been dead for years.

  114. 114
    The ghost of Clem Attlee says:

    You’re doomed to wander westminster for an eternity.

  115. 115
    mad fred 2 para retired says:

    Cameron is just part of the CON / LAB / LIB Cartel – a cabal of crooks who will stop at nothing to protect their market share in Parliament.

  116. 116
    jez says:

    Here’s the thoughts of one anonymous MP departing for sunnier climes, quoted on a Blog (Subrosa) run by a “Dundee Wifey”…. Yup.

    “I’m off. You can’t earn a decent living here anymore. We are going to have the most inexperienced parliament ever after the next election. With big decisions to be made, it’s not somewhere I want to be. I want to earn some money.”

    Just about sums these venal bastards up. I think our “Wee Wifey” picked this up from the Observer a few weeks back. Guido: any thoughts on who this might be? I’d like to email the bastard personally.

  117. 117
    hazel blears - postman pat in drag says:

    Boot im jus’ one of them common lasses (ehem) done good, what have aye dun to anyone!
    Her’ Gordy take my cheque!

  118. 118
    The Dirty Rat says:

    Or (d) Maths isn’t my strongest subject.

  119. 119

    Quite right! The people of Britain employ MPs to administrate the country, not to rule us.

  120. 120
    shelling-out says:

    How long have you got?

  121. 121
    Crooked? says:

    Talking about mortgages, George, what about Mandy? Only needed a 750k mortgage on a 2.4 Million pound house – where did the 1.7M deposit come from? Furthermore, how did he manage to pay off the 750k in less than one year?

  122. 122

    Thje prisons are being emptied of people who engage in personal redistribution (theft etc.) to make space for those who will be convicted of thought crimes.

    Think Clockwork Orange.

  123. 123
    Anonymous says:

    ’bout time Tyburn was reinstalled at Marble Arch under an urban regneration cheme. Hang the troughers high and let them swing.

  124. 124
    Crooked? says:

    I’ve read today that the shares are still in his name? Fishy or what?

  125. 125
    Charles Flaccidwidger says:

    Sadly, option “(e) I’m a troughing bastard and fecking annoyed that I got caught” is not likely to be used.

  126. 126
    Mark Oaten MP says:

    What on earth are you suggesting?

  127. 127
    Anonymous says:

    Let me know when you do, mate, and we’ll organise a National Holiday and a Thanksgiving Service for you in St. Paul’s

  128. 128
    JessicaSimpson says:

    maybe we shouldn’t put an ‘X’ on a ballot paper rather a large bucket of poo

  129. 129

    That’s a bit harsh

  130. 130
    Catosays says:

    Duncan is a fcuking disgrace and should be sacked, the cnut!

  131. 131

    why are you a bear rather than any a tiger, lion elephant, donkey, pig or perhaps my preference a Camel?

  132. 132
    Anonymous says:

    …or that it’s the fault of bored teenagers.

  133. 133
    resurgemus says:

    One of the things which is starting to stink is the Dont Panic crew.

    They’ve hit Duncan (twice) and Steen but nothing on Hoon, Moran, Smith, Huhne etc.

    Beginning to sound like the freelance arm of the Beeb with careers all round for media luvvies.

  134. 134
  135. 135
    Iain Dale is a Twittering Twat says:

    Stop it Guide for you will upset Mrs. Dale – don’t you realise that it’s forbidden to critcise homosexuals and MPs?! How dare you, you little homophobic, MPist piece of shit.

  136. 136
    Cloyingly Sanctimonious says:

    Don’t worry. Swallows won’t last long once the Tories come to power. He’s a lightweght, totally out of his depth as it is.

  137. 137
    mad fred 2 para retired says:

    He is no different to the other troughers, no matter what colour the rosette.

    A cabal of crooks – a cartel of organised party political crime.

    Sack one you get an identikit copy the very next day – same metality, same ethos.

    To change the programming of the collective we must show strength of character & vision as voters – vote for an independent – any independent.

  138. 138
    Hugh Janus says:

    “The more MPs Guido meets, the more he is confirmed in his view that they are for the most; venal, egotistical, untrustworthy, shits.”

    That’s grossly unfair Guido – to all venal, egotistical, untrustworthy, shits everywhere.

  139. 139
    Vote Labour Vote Death says:

    It’s all a dastardly plot to ensure the BΝP and UKIP make huge gains.

  140. 140
    cricket on the hearth says:

    It’s an attempt to eclipse grasshopper

  141. 141
    Weird of Hermiston says:

    “He is a bitter man who feels hard done by”

    Ah, a classic Scot then.

  142. 142
    Sod 'em all says:

    Parties are VERY BAD for democracy. They should all be banned. All of ‘em!

  143. 143
    Sod 'em all says:

    Chris Mullen was a proper MP. No careerist, him. Worked for his constituents, unlike the rest of the cυnts. Fucking shower of shite they are.

  144. 144

    Dear Alibarbs

    “As usual, George Laird refuses to answer the question (you’d make a great MP George!)”.

    Thank you but I feel my campaign for human rights at Glasgow University should come first.

    “The fact that (in your opinion) the SNP are doing a good job is completely irrelevant to its leader and other elected MSPs are ripping off the public”.

    Oh allegation, it’s a pity that you have no proof of wrongdoing.

    “I wonder how good a job they’ll do if and when they get the independence they so desperately crave and don’t have the rest of the union to go cap in hand to when they want to give away stuff for free that the rest of us have to pay for?”

    I think like everyone they will cut their cloth accordingly.

    “The fact that you try to brush Salmond’s thievery under the the carpet shows you in your true colours”.

    Alex Salmond hasn’t stolen anything as far as I am aware.

    Do you know different?

    “no better than the thieving scum we have to put up with in both Westminster and Holyrood”.

    Sorry, you’re blind by hate of the SNP, the only public service party in Scotland.

    “At least most of us here will gladly slate members of all parties, including the one we traditionally supprt, for their dishonesty”.

    You speak for the majority on here?

    How do you know them as they use aliases?

    Stop your wickedness and pop over to my world famous blog and leave a comment on my Glasgow University corruption story.

    Help a guy get to court.

    And you can listen to songs as well while you read.

    Yours sincerely

    George Laird
    The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University

  145. 145
    Sod 'em all says:

    Not relevant! Most of ‘em (except the Poles) only come over to steal or beg in one form or another. They ain’t seekin’ work!

  146. 146
    Basil D'oliviera says:

    Freddie lad I told you to get back in them nets and get fit again. England needs you lad.

  147. 147

    He goes on HIGNFY. Therefore he is a piss-taker. if he takes piss, and is also simultansouely a politician, then he also might take money.

    This HIGNFY thingy is the giveaway: why?

    It is a “pretend show” – it is a means by which the BoobySee shows itself to be “impartial”, while giving a platform to the Enemy Class to _/pretend/_ to satirise itself. while inviting slebbs to compere it and say funny things to camera – thus increasing “ratings” even more, and deflecting the ability of the anti-Enemy-Class to land Charges on it (‘coz it’s just a bit ‘o-fun, OK? Lighten up, sad dude, we’re getting at Boris OK?…)

    Oh and I am not Charles Handle-Todger in disguise.

  148. 148

    Dear Crooked

    Why don’t you grow a pair of balls and put in an FOI request about his salary and look up the register of interests.

    Then dig through his stint at the EU.

    If you suspect corruption then contact the Standards Commisioner and complain.

    If you want me to do it then campaign that I am appointed to the independent watchdog on expenses as an investigator and arbiter of claims.

    Yours sincerely

    George Laird
    The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University

  149. 149
    OswaldBlackshirt says:

    BNP – NF – Union Movement – British Union of Fascists: a thin black line of rancid thuggish idiocy the bosses always like keep in reserve in case they need them. But they never need them.

  150. 150

    Why, oh why, oh why…

    …do all you silly bastards keep on keeping on keeping on saying….Labour has f****d up and is “incompetent…? And has “screwed things up”…?

    Can’t any of you see it’s been done on purpose?

  151. 151
    Old Nick Heavenly says:


  152. 152
    The big D says:

    What we need is a party dedicated to banning political parties.

  153. 153
    McGroom says:

    More Westminster village bo11ock5.

    Is Alan Duncan so arrogant to beleive that no decent upstanding individual would want to stand as an MP because they won’t be able to make out like bandits with the expenses.

    ..and I thought Bercow was an idiot – Cameron should distance himself from this self absorbed ……………..

  154. 154
    Old Nick Heavenly says:

    You will have to help yourselves!

    The politicians do, after all, set the example!

    You will have to, as my mothers gym teacher used to say:

    ‘Put some spunk in it girls!’ à la Frogs!

    Belgium is a very nice country!

  155. 155
    Anonymous says:


    They just don’t care!

    The Civil Service needs the banks to loan them money to carry on with ludicrous PFI Schemes and keep them all in meetings.

    The banks need the Civil Service in their pockets to keep ripping off the country and taking undeserved ‘bonuses’.

    The politicians just go on TV repeating their Civil Service briefings and know they’re overpaid and likely to be out at the next election, so why not vote in higher exes?

    Plus ca change………

  156. 156
    RavingMad says:

    This Duncan debacle is merely a new stassi plant to deflect discussion away from the unemployment figures. Remember swine flu? it’s not important anymore, it’s done it’s job. This is the same. The engine room at new stassi headquarters is up and running and working on the election pathway as we speak – there’s more of this sort of shit to come – by election time the country will be brown all over!!! – not a pretty thought.

  157. 157
    albacore says:

    Lock and load what, Fred – the DVD drive?
    Parliament has made sure that the only citizens outside H M Forces likely to bear firearms are preponderantly criminals and/or police.
    When did you last see even a pop-gun in a toy store?

  158. 158
    Redditch Raven says:

    West Midlands has the highest unemployment figs after London and unemployment is running at 10.6% of job force in the region.Lord Mandelson has been prominent *on local Midlands BBC News(for all I know he may have filmed diferent versons for each local news?) -the gist of his “Labour Party Broadcast” being that Birmingham and the famous “Midlands Spirit” will fight through this recession and emerge stronger for it !!!!
    (*The region has a high number of Labour marginals but that is of course a mere co-incidence of fact)

  159. 159
    Hugh Janus says:

    George, what is the human rights problem at Glasgow University? A bit selfish, isn’t it? Why not campaign for human rights everywhere???

  160. 160
    Carbon Neutral says:

    I had the pleasure of attending a dinner with the aforementioned Mr Duncan where he went to great lengths to tell everyone present of how he had given up his glittering legal career to become an MP. Yawn.

    Legal career? Prior to being an MP, Duncan used to be an oil trader

  161. 161
    Mark Oatens Nanny says:

    I wondered why the nappy bin was suspiciously clean.
    Mr Oaten is very much into recycling.
    Its the LibDem way.

  162. 162
    resurgemus says:


    interesting, but are you still saying the man should be claiming £500 a month on expenses when most of the time he’s not even in Westminster ?

    Why does he even need to go to Westminster if he’s got a real day job already ?

    Even the troughing DUP have re-organised to put Robinson in his day job and let someone else lead the Parliamentary party.

  163. 163
    Sod 'em all says:

    Parties are too easily corrupted just by influencing a few people at the top of each. Big money interests always prevail with a party system. All parties should be outlawed. As should any form of professional lobbying. 650 independents would be vastly more difficult for the big banks and corporations to influence; certainly without getting caught out!

  164. 164
    Old Nick Heavenly says:

    Apparently not!

  165. 165
    resurgemus says:

    Snake oil presumably ?

  166. 166
    Jj says:

    Time for A. Duncan to resign.

  167. 167
    Popeye says:

    yes dear boy, he’ll have to go.

  168. 168
    Lord R Sole says:

    I blame global warming………………….for everything

  169. 169
    McGroom says:

    its the silly season no one is really paying attention but ZaNuLieBore will use their media stooges to try and discredit the opposition. As mandelson said “he will do anything to people who stand in his way”

    However, having empty headed, self important Rsoles like Duncan spout off about how MPs are hard done by looks ridiculous.

    How about a free vote ala Totnes in Rutland and Melton to put the troughing gardener out of his misery and let him reurn to that “glittering” legal career.

  170. 170
    Khalid Ali says:


  171. 171
    martin de la guerre says:

    He should resign to spend more time with his uphill gardener.

  172. 172
    Lord R Sole says:

    or, In Jackboot Smith’s case,

    To spend more time with my husbands right hand.

  173. 173
    Thomas Turtel says:

    Hi there,

    Thank you to everyone who took part in reviewing our COSHH365 risk assessment tool and provided us with feedback. We had some fantastic responses, some of which we’ve implemented into the design of our new version.

    It has been very difficult to pick apart the very best feedback and to assign it into some sort of winning order. We decided to base it on the number of new improvements balanced with quality of explanation. So thank you to everyone whom has taken part and here are the winners…

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    Peter Mandelstone

  174. 174
    Vote vote vote for Jacqui says:

    Whoever the candidate at the G.E. pledges not to claim
    expenses,other than reasonable travel,will have my vote. I don’t
    give a Fuck what party they represent including the B&P.
    God I feel so abused and humiliated by these thieves I could
    gladly do some Gaol time if I could inflict the same abuse and
    humiliation on them.
    Talk about Three Card Trick we have stood the FiftyTwo Card Trick.

  175. 175
    Fritz Leissner says:

    I think you’ll find the correct abbreviation was stasi.

  176. 176
    Birmo boy says:

    Nick Griffon MEP

  177. 177
    Arthur P says:

    I like the cut of your JIB mrs Righty Wing

  178. 178
    Old Rockape says:

    Boy Cameron is a spineless Twat,no better than the rest of them his only interest is in getting through the Door of number 10. Pillock

  179. 179
    Mark Oaten says:

    I didnt get those two rent boys to shit on me ,
    I merely got them to dress up as Chelsea footballers and then piss in my mouth.
    It could have happened to any of us having a Mid life crisis
    When the next GE is called I will stand down , having served my constituents with loyalty for many years.
    I wish that you Hoons would leave myself and my family alone .

  180. 180
    Trevor Brooking says:

    I would give them the Clockwork Orange treatment – hold their eyes open with clamps and make them watch a continuous video of Crossroads or Eldorado until they’re screaming for release……..

  181. 181
    salty balls says:

    i thought it was to buy a round of drinks

  182. 182
    Alan says:

    Nah, nah, nah lads, it’s OK….just tell me what you really think of me.

  183. 183
    joose says:

    Isn’t it just enough that he kicks that other сunt out?

  184. 184
    Trevor Brooking says:

    I like Alex Salmond. He agrees with most of England about giving Scots independence.

  185. 185
    A desperate voter says:

    If youre gonna scream, scream with me
    Moments like this never last…………..

  186. 186
    shelling-out says:

    Slimy Bas***d.

  187. 187
    caesars wife says:

    Oh well if your treated like SH*T , pull the flush on your way out !!

    I would have though Alan Duncan would have used Turd or No2 .

    mandelson even gave him some cold steel , and Up pops john mann completely forgetting about moran and morley .

    Bit unfortunate for AD , was quite entertaining in open months of business questions

  188. 188
    Old Rockape says:

    In a Word NO.

  189. 189
    Trevor Brooking says:

    probably divine as well

  190. 190
    Alan Duncans uphill Gardener says:

    The Hoon charged a ride on the “lawn mower” to us taxpayers
    I didnt get a fucking penny

  191. 191
    Chartered Accountant says:

    I noticed that when Mr Duncan incited murder against Miss California on HIGNFY (defended as ‘only a joke, guv!’). Sir Michael White strongly defended him.

    What on earth could have led to Sir Mike sticking up for him?

  192. 192
    terrigar says:

    Skinner,looney but honest, Dave Davis decent bloke, Widdy mad but consistent, Angela smith (Essex) straight as a die,

  193. 193
    Miss Anna Grammar says:

    NewGirl, clue: involves Guinness

  194. 194
    A desperate voter says:

    not really

  195. 195

    Dear Hugh Janus

    Selfish moi?

    I have done unpaid charity work, not a bean went my way or even expenses.

    I also campaign by writing stories on my world famous blog, The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University.

    Recently I sent President Obama an email regarding the Gary McKinnion case, still waiting on a reply.

    I do my bit but it is nice that you should want me to do more.

    Yours sincerely

    George Laird
    The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University

  196. 196
    terrigar says:

    Ghengiz Khan, Jabba the Hutt, Pol Pot

  197. 197
    RavingMad says:

    stassi stasi stazzzzi stasssssssi

    who gives a fuck?

    reminds me, I wrote to my MP recently over a serious matter. I outlined in detail the circumstances. The only comment I got was about my use of language and how I should moderate it – nothing about the subject at all!!

    who gives a fuck??

  198. 198
    Thomas Turtel says:

    The Germans have many usefull phrases such as “schadenfreude” where there is there is no real translation into English

    I believe the Germans have a phrase that describes Alun Duncan perfection – “einen wurstchompen schließmuskellicken’

  199. 199
    They're all at it says:

    I’d also add Sion Simon…

    Err, no I wouldn’t… I must be drunk. Forgot that he’s a trougher, complete Hunt, and all-round arrogant shit. Oh yeah, and by God is he fecking ugly.

  200. 200
    Rick says:

    Very true, Rockape. However, most here will still vote for the same old Lib/Lab/Con-trick, though. Mustn’t vote for any party that would likely bring about radical change. Especially any non-PC party. Oh no.

  201. 201
    Voting Floater says:

    Peace be upon you, and take that tea-towel off your head.

  202. 202
    Alan Duncans uphill Gardener says:

    I find that the word
    Sums Him up perfectly
    Also less typing

  203. 203
    Beorwulf says:

    I’m an ex Young Conservative branch chairman and ex Conservative party member for many years. The reason I, and many like me, will be reluctant to vote Conservative again is because of hypocrites like Alan Duncan. Dave had the opportunity to sweep the party clean of such creeps, but failed. His friends haven’t been touched, and are no doubt congratulating themselves with having got away Scot-free.

    Come on Dave, purge Duncan and all s**ts like him if you really want to be trusted!

  204. 204

    Dear Resurgemus

    If Alex Salmond wrongly claimed expenses then I would expect him to pay back the money.

    I don’t think I would have to even ask someone like him to do so.

    I strongly believe he has integrity.

    I have also seen no evidence and no evidence has been produced of wrong doing by him.

    I would like to point out that Alex Salmond gives away part of his entitled salary to charity to help others.

    Something that the late Donald Dewar never did; he kept the lot.

    You can say alot of things about Alex Salmond and some certainly do but he works tirelessly in helping others.

    He is by any measure worthy of trust.

    Yours sincerely

    George Laird
    The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University

  205. 205
    waken up, dickhead says:

    That idiot waffling on about everyone seeing their own health records online, now this slimy wee toad crying poor mouth.

    Cameron is going to blow his chance big style if he doesnt get to grips very soon

  206. 206
    joose says:

    I know, lets just keep Mr Bonkers in for another twelve years.

    It’s the right thing to do.


  207. 207
    Beorwulf says:

    Well said old rockape! I agree with you – and not just because I’m an old rockape too!

  208. 208
    A desperate voter says:

    A majority of Sir Michael Shite’s articles are ad homien attacks and incite one thing or another against who ever he happens to be grinding an axe against.

    He’s just sticking up for AD out of sense of self preservation as it would be him on the chopping block next if people started to bring and hold such things to account.

  209. 209
    Tuff Nelly Tufnell says:

    “If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.” (Carl Sagan)

    …a written constitution, electoral reform, withdraw from th EU, and start again.

  210. 210
    Ever Vigilant says:

    Only if he wants to buy one of alistair darlings surplus property.

  211. 211
    A desperate voter says:

    You voting UKIP young man??

  212. 212
    Anonymous says:

    They obviously are not all twats.

    Although Duncacn might be…

  213. 213
    caesars wife says:

    might not be what you think

  214. 214
    resurgemus says:


    not the point. I don’t dispute “it’s within the rules” for him the claim, but surely if he’s running the Scottish Executive he doesn’t need to claim for expenses from Westminster.

    Why has he not given up the Westminster seat to another SNP candidate?

  215. 215
    snark says:

    Reading my own health records. Oh yeah, that’s something I’ve been dreaming of for decades. Bring it on Cammo.

    That’s what my doctor get’s paid for you twat.

  216. 216

    Damn me, Sod ‘em All – I just misread that as ‘panties must be banned’, and was wondering where to sign up!

  217. 217
    Gordon 9I have some white fluid on my back)Brown says:

    I always buy the Guradian
    Rather you do it for me as I curl up in a foetal position and cry all day.

  218. 218
    Institute for Public Policy Research - Marketing Dept says:

    I like this idea.

    We could group together a collective of brain-dead – anyone that can spell the word “policy” should be excluded – and completely incompetent candidates. Hey let’s not forget how much cash we could personally milk out of the system while we’re at it!

  219. 219
    resurgemus says:


    just realised the football’s on. Take this up with you tomorrow if you’re watching the match.

    Good Luck !

  220. 220
    Talking of tail gunners, that reminds me, Kathleen Ferrier says:

    There was a young lady from Nantes,
    tres jolie, tres elegante.
    But her hole was too small
    for anything at all
    except la plume de ma tante.

  221. 221
    Anonymous says:

    His “Time” was up twice before but like a cancer he keeps coming back !

  222. 222
    RavingMad says:

    I note that the FSA have done a splendid job of not doing anything to change the excesses for which they are so famous. Their report today suggests the flimsiest of changes to banking processes and no change to the bonus culture – now, there’s a surprise

  223. 223
  224. 224
    snark says:

    Toilet trader on a weekend.

  225. 225

    The metastasis of Mandelson – what a great B-movie that would make!

  226. 226
    RavingMad says:

    I’ve got my own health records. Funny how medics see the world in a different way to me. In one account they said I was agitated whilst at an outpatient clinic. What it didn’t say was that the clinic was cancelled because they couldn’t find a clinician – it was only an emergency clinic after all – and then after hurriedly being recalled because they had found someone, I waited 0ne and a half hours further to be seen by a consultant.

  227. 227
    dr hoo says:

    “I’ve got my own health records.”

    I stopped about there.

  228. 228
    colin says:

    George, I never read your shit, just fuck off.

  229. 229
    message from Wolverhampton says:

    Dave, get tough or fuck off

  230. 230

    What have you got in that backpack, young man? Can I have a look?

  231. 231
    west brom fan says:

    As if he’s gonna listen to anyone from Wolverhampton…….it’s fucking laughable.

  232. 232
    Jumbo says:

    Alan D is a member of the Tory party under which unemployment reached the same level it is today. What the armchair pundits and aljabeeb are missing is that was – doh! – 1995, THREE YEARS after the official end of the last recession (on paper). Talk to any insolvency practitioner: Unemployment always rises for 1-3 years after a recession. This one hasn’t even ended yet officially so God only knows where that is going to take unemployment levels.
    As a sidenote I’d happily see everyone currently employed by the BBC put out to compete alongside the rest of us. Them and their inhouse magazine, the so-called Guardian. Guardian? State-lover more Like. Bunch of jameses.

  233. 233
    OwlHoot says:

    Sounds like a classic case of enhanced entitlement belief, as described in What the Bagel Man Saw.

    In brief, some guy would leave bagels in offices, along with a cash box into which he trusted that customers would place payments for the food they took. Not everyone was honest, but he worked out that surprisingly dishonesty levels increased for senior executives (and in companies where morale was low).

  234. 234
    This is not an aspirational handle says:

    Grant Shapps replied to an email of mine – not boilerplate either. Peter Lilley almost uniquely among MPs has a normal view of “climate change” – the rest have all been cozened.

  235. 235
    A Silent Emission of Bowel Gas says:

    Daisy had better get a grip of the troughing bastards in his party, or he’s as screwed as the other lot.

    And when I say grip, I don’t mean round the waist from the back, either.

    Those naked, manly games of Tie Your Shoelace were okay with his Bullingdon mates after a night on the piss, but not when you’re hoping to run the fucking country.

  236. 236
    Anonymous says:

    You are right about MPs, Guido. But you too are a venal egotistical untrustworth little shit.

  237. 237
    Anonymous says:

    Alan Duncan has done us all a great favour – reminding voters why they should never vote for a Tory. Cheers, you smarmy little Hunt.

  238. 238
    Little princess on board says:

    Duncan is an obnoxious talentless twat. Let’s hope his constituents kick the little arsehole into the long grass at the next election.

  239. 239

    Dear Colin

    “George, I never read your shit, just fuck off”.

    You are missing a treat.

    A world famous Human Rights blog ad you don’t read it!

    You think it is shit, opinions vary but I have had people say it is good.

    As to fucking off, no, happy to annoy you.

    Don’t be a bitch on here, try and man the fuck up.

    Yours sincerely

    George Laird
    The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University

  240. 240
    Anonymous says:

    The smarmy arrogant twat reminds me why I will never vote Tory.

  241. 241
    Anonymous says:

    I think you’ll find most of the commenters here like being the bitch.

  242. 242
    Uddin says:

    Alan Duncan and I are on to a good thing, innit. No joke, innit.

  243. 243
    Esther says:

    I’ll get it all sorted out for the country.

  244. 244
    Little princess on board says:

    I’ve never heard it called that before. How crude can you get?

  245. 245
    bandersnatch says:

    Wubbiss! as my two year old daughter used to say… or she used to when she was two IYSWIM
    Guido! Many of them are no worse than the rest of us… EEEAAASSSY sneers. Many go into parliament ‘to make a difference’… for honourable reasons.
    Unpopular comment I know… but there ye go…

  246. 246
    tooty frooty says:

    This is the news board from the BBC website.

    * UK jobless total climbs to 2.4m
    * Body exhumed in 1979 murder probe
    * Duncan sorry for MP pay ‘whinge’

    Yeah, I reckon an apology about a whinge just about comes 3rd in a list containing mass unemployment and murder.

    Well done BBC, your masters will be proud.

  247. 247
    bandersnatch says:

    I know luvvey… I seen you do it on the tele!

  248. 248
    colin says:

    Ooh get her….

    Your slip is showing georgie boy.

  249. 249
    Ivor schwartzporsche says:

    Guido is remotely perceptive on my behalf. They aren’t worth a cuss. They ruin people by their piggery.

  250. 250
    Ivor schwartzporsche says:

    Who needs reminding?

  251. 251
    bandersnatch says:

    I believe you are for real Rolf… They also take your Blue Disabled Badge away if you admit you can hobble, crawl, and stagger up to 100 yards even if you can’t carry anything cos one side of you is completely non-working… donald ducked… so you can’t shop, and have to depend on others…
    Bar-stewards all, them bureaucrats… Then you see the world and his wife who look like they would give Usain Bolt a run for his money, get their blue badges out…

    Where was i… er…er

  252. 252
    Ivor schwartzporsche says:

    Go away. You are probably a royal and I clain my five deutschemark.

  253. 253
    Grandma B says:

    Why doesn’t he learn to keep his trap shut? Not really wanting to defend him, but isn’t there some law about recording conversations without permission?

  254. 254
    Cyco Billy says:

    Carrot tops keep their DNA in their teeth???

  255. 255
    Bath plugs for the many, not the few says:

    Cameron should quietly dispose of this too-smart, smirkingly shallow man and appoint a normal person in his place.

  256. 256
    shelling-out says:

    It just goes to show what a very poor judge of character Alan Duncan is. He doesn’t care what he says to anyone who buys him a drink in the Strangers Bar at the HoC.

    For an ex-lawyer to be so loose-mouthed, it beggars belief.

    Get rid – and soon.

  257. 257
    EC1 PhD says:

    My only concern is that if we lose the Ashes they’ll start behaving like you-know-who from you-know-where

  258. 258
    Russell Ross says:

    How crude would you like it?

  259. 259
    Anthony Steen lives!!! says:

    Hahahaha classic stuff.

    Poor ickle Davy Cameron is miffed. Ahh diddums.

    Mandelson might have proved what an insufferable colossal twunt he is on the radio this morning but he’s not as brain dead and suicidal as Cameron’s pathetic front bench “troops” and Mandy is laughing his ass off now.

  260. 260
    Anonymous says:

    scotland are doing well in the football, laugh. did gordon wish them well?
    2-0 down with only 10 men

    perhaps darling wished them well too

  261. 261
    Beorwulf says:

    You bet! Even though I’m an oldie now… :-)

  262. 262
    SShorts says:

    Hello Dolly.

  263. 263
    Fritz Leissner says:

    Not you, evidently. Although if you came across as less of a window licker you might get more people taking you seriously. I emphasise “might”. The handle is a bit of a give away really. Did you write to your MP in green crayon?

  264. 264
    All bases. says:

    Haram! My Life! Bijaysus! Good Lord!

  265. 265
    Beorwulf says:

    Thank you Derek Draper! I like Guido!

  266. 266
    summer_Breeze says:

    T.A.T. Make sure you’ve got that guy on your hit list.

    How dare he complain about living on rations, when there are people in this country living in abject poverty and struggling to make ends meet?!

    The quicker that we can fill the HOC with Independent MP’s, the better this country will be!

  267. 267
    Another mad Fife git says:

    Why is it taking soooo looong for these shits to realise they have been rumbled. I can’t wait for the next election and the next hapless canvasser to knock on my door.

    Do you think party politics will survive?

    Do you think we are all so fucking disinterested that they know they can get away with it?

  268. 268
    This is not an aspirational handle says:

    The poor donate a larger proportion of their income to charity than do the rich. The rich would seem to be more immune to personal embarrassment too.

  269. 269


    I have been to his website, no pictures of him in a dress yet but the tunes are good.

  270. 270
    barefootcontessa says:

    Yes, and they’d better watch out ‘cos mandelslime us coming up on the rails – at a gallop! He’s an evil little so and so, and where did he get the £750.000 to pay off his mortgage I wonder?

  271. 271
    Trougheh. says:

    What a terribly unchristian sentiment from one who has recently found God. Stitches taking their time are they? Your cook’s cold.

  272. 272
    Jethro says:

    There was a young lady from Bruges,
    Whose thing was enormously huge;
    Said Louis Quatorze,
    As he pulled down her drawers,
    ‘Mon Dieu! Apres moi, le deluge!’

  273. 273
    John says:

    Don’t insult Genghis Khan

  274. 274
    The other half says:

    stop knocking my husband.

  275. 275
    Anonymous says:

    scotland 3-0 down now

    oh dear, still when they get all the oil revenue and the nuclear subs they are bound to have more money for a better team

  276. 276
    snafu says:

    Beautiful, funny and wise quote from Sagan, but Dorothy Parker was almost as good. ‘Ducking for apples – change one letter and it’s the story of my life ..’

  277. 277
    bloke with nadgers says:

    Well spotted. A baseball bat to the gob could sort this shit out conclusively.

  278. 278
    Chartered Accountant says:

    I fervently wish they would.

    We’d then get rid of self-centred tossers like Duncan and White (plus removing other horrors such as ‘Lord’ Sugar).

  279. 279
    freddie flintoff says:

    ok lads , this is eclusive footage ( sent by a aussie ) of the peadlo incident

  280. 280
    Alibarbs says:

    “Thank you but I feel my campaign for human rights at Glasgow University should come first.”

    We’re not discussing your campaign, we’re discussing troughing politicians – bit of a cop out on your part in my humble opinion.

    “I think like everyone they will cut their cloth accordingly.”

    The public will have no choice, but the standard of living that politicians enjoy won’t change. If that makes you happy then good for you.

    “Alex Salmond hasn’t stolen anything as far as I am aware.”

    Ah yes of course – everything he did was “within the rules” wasn’t it. If you think the Nuremberg defence is an acceptable excuse for all and sundry, then good luck to you. Extraditing Gary McKinnon to the US is within the rules, but that doesn’t make it right.

    “You speak for the majority on here? How do you know them as they use aliases?”

    I speak based on the opinions I read here – I think most people (trolls excepted) don’t use aliases much, as what would be the point? One tends to be able to work out these things anyway by getting a feel for individual styles of writing etc. Obviously I can’t be sure, as I don’t have access to the IP addresses like Guido does, but then neither do you.

    As for popping over to your blog, I have done on a few occasions, but as I’ve already said, it’s not really relevant to the discussion in hand.

    Wickedness you say? So disagreeing with you constitutes wickedness does it George? You keep spinning if it makes you happy.

  281. 281
    James. says:

    It just all depends on how you look at some things…

    Judy Wallman, a professional genealogy researcher in southern California , was doing some personal work on her own family tree. She discovered that Congressman Harry Reid’s great-great uncle, Remus Reid, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. Both Judy and Harry Reid share this common ancestor.
    The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows in Montana territory:

    On the back of the picture Judy obtained during her research is this inscription: ‘Remus Reid, horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889.’

    So Judy recently e-mailed Congressman Harry Reid for information about their great-great uncle.
    Harry Reid:

    Believe it or not, Harry Reid’s staff sent back the following biographical sketch for her genealogy research:
    “Remus Reid was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory . His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montanarailroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to government service, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed.”

    NOW THAT’s how it’s done
    That’s real POLITICAL SPIN

  282. 282
    barefootcontessa says:

    Sounds a pleasant alternative to living under newlabour.

  283. 283
    blackpool mum says:

    hey guido hope the holiday going well

    weather shit here

    wish you was here

  284. 284
    Trough Mixture says:


    It’s my belief that Reid pissed on his own powder – or bribed his cat to do so.

  285. 285
    barefootcontessa says:

    What is happening about mandeslime’s mortgage? £750.000. Has he paid it , or hasn’t he paid it? If he has how?

  286. 286
    barefootcontessa says:

    Oh, those blue suede shoes!

  287. 287
    barefootcontessa says:

    He needs to buy his hair and beauty products. Be fair. He’s worth it!

  288. 288
    barefootcontessa says:

    Connected to who may I ask?

  289. 289
    Gordon's glass eye says:

    Why does Alan Duncan persist on going on Have I Got News for you? He must enjoy having the piss taken out of him. Ive never seen someone as repeatedly mocked as he is on that show.

  290. 290
    Gordon's glass eye says:

    Unrelated but pretty funny nonetheless.

  291. 291
  292. 292
    Insider Trader says:

    Naughty Little Peter!!!!!!!!!

    PM for PM thinks he’s sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo clever with his mates Rothschild and the Russian coachroach.

    Buying shares while you where the head of the EU Trade Commison eh Peter?? We both know that’s not 100% kosher with the influence over markets and insider knowledge you had Peter.

    Little Mandy thinks people are too stupid to notice the old switcheroo of manipulating contracts to lower share prices and then awarding further contracts to companies once you’ve bought shares in them to increase the price of said shares.

    Any journalist who has not got anything to lose should also look at what shares Mandy had in Rothschild’s & Deripaska’s ventures and when he bought them and correlate it to competitors and market data at the time.

    I’m sure you’ll find it interesting.

  293. 293
    Sailor says:

    As my old grandma always said ” A stitch in time is worth two in the bush”

  294. 294
    freddie flintoff says:

    well that was intresting

  295. 295
    barefootcontessa says:

    My MP replied to my letter to him complaining about his expenses record saying ‘ I share your anger at the way some people have abused the system…….claims which were reasonable as a way of providing furnished accommodation necessary for the job, but which have been presented misleadingly. ….. Liberal democrats are committed to accepting and carrying out whatever reform the committee……recommends. ……I can assure you that I am in Berwick virtually every weekend because that is where my home is. I hold a surgery in Berwick about once a month………constituency covers 1000 square miles.

    This letter from Rt.Hon.Sir Alan Beith MP.

    What a load of old whining codswallop! He didn’t give the merest hint of an apology.

  296. 296
    Alfred of Wessex says:

    Nothing will change until we make the gutters of Westminster, Whitehall and those around BBC Television Centre, The Guardian, the Equalities and Human Rights Commission, The Independent, all Local Authorities, and especially all Teacher Training Colleges run several feet deep with the blood of the traitors who have grown fat on spending the last 30 years destroying this country.

  297. 297
    Trough Mixture says:

    Your condensed writings?

  298. 298
    Call me Infidel says:

    When I hear the words “progressive politics” I reach for my semi-auto.

  299. 299
    barefootcontessa says:

    Don’t be mean mandelscum is fighting for the car worker.

  300. 300
    freddie flintoff says:

    it could be a puzzle

  301. 301
    Call me Infidel says:

    On the topic of Clockwork Orange radio 4 has an amusing program about the outbreak of fraud related crime in “little Lagos” aka Thamesmead where Clockwork Orange was filmed. All part of Liebours vibrant, multicultural diversity we now enjoy.

  302. 302
    barefootcontessa says:

    He’s too busy sweeping the streets.

  303. 303
    Waffle Watch says:

    Keep it brief, please.

  304. 304
    barefootcontessa says:

    I was wondering where he got his £750.000 from.

  305. 305
    Anonymous says:

    45% of the electorate voted in Norwich. 55% are disinterested. Shameful,but reality often is.

  306. 306
    albacore says:

    There’s none so blind as them that will not see.

  307. 307
    engerland says:

    Norway 0-4 Scotland

    Gordon, you can’t be all bad.

  308. 308
    engerland says:

    Norway 4-0 Scotland

    As I was saying.

  309. 309
    rollocks says:

    That was just a test run, wait till he really gets going.

  310. 310
    RobC says:

    I’ve just realised what Gormless and Pete have in common which sets them apart from their equally uninspiring herd apart from anecdotal inferences “they are both ruining the country, completely unelected and probably unelectable”

  311. 311
    yabbado says:

    So you’re gonna emigrate?

  312. 312
    delia smith says:

    “55% are disinterested.”

    Shouldn’t that be, “55% are web footed”?

  313. 313
  314. 314
    albacore says:

    How can he do it quietly, with Manky’s kindergarten screeching “Nar nar na nar nar!” in the background; and where would he find a normal person in the Tory party in the first place?

  315. 315
    mr sausage says:

    you’re boring me mr sausage

  316. 316
    message from Wolverhampton says:

    oi am surprised yo con read and roite

  317. 317

    I think he almost certainly was joking. Of course flacid organs like the Daily Mirror will witter and carp. Like they always do…

  318. 318
    Chapps says:

    SNP are fucking Nu Labor
    That will do for me.

  319. 319
    Tammy Flu says:

    Not to mention the million Poles who fucked off home.

  320. 320
    Anonymous says:

    Yep, the Poles are clever enough to realise that employers want to employ them for not more than a year, so as to escape employers National Insurance. And clever enough to live 8 or more to a house to cut costs for 11 and a bit months before claiming a tax refund, including 100% of employee National Insurance. Then having a holiday, buying some false ID papers, and coming back to do it all over again.

    Poland for the Germans.

  321. 321
    Tammy Flu says:

    But Ben Elton might come back as well. I think I’d rather have Labour for another 4 years than to have to listen to that rubber lipped whiner again.

  322. 322
    Chris Gilmore says:

    If you can’t even spell even McKinnon’s name properly they’re hardly going to take you seriously. Much like the people on here.

    You need a good hosing down you stinker.

  323. 323
    Rib Tickler says:

    As a taxpayer funding his comedy career,when do i get the joke?

  324. 324
    Just Curious..... says:

    A couple of questions:

    1. What’s all this shit about Mark Oaten and excrement?

    2. Why is David Cameron referred to here as “Call Me Dave” or “CMD” for short?

    3. Why is Lord Sugar persistently reviled for being short?

    In respect of the second question: has Mr. Cameron ever said this phrase at any time ever that has been verified on youtube?

    In respect of the third question: how tall is Lord Sugar, actually?

  325. 325
    A firm pair of breasts says:

    Duncan complains that he get’s treated like shit but what he fails to understand is that he IS shit.

  326. 326
    Abolish the Licence Fee says:

    Not even Boris?

  327. 327
    So17 says:

    That is the trouble with ditching the principle of the survival of the fittest.
    Spotty four eyed yellow bellied big mouthed opinionated wankers get the full protection of the State and economic benefits which were hard fought for by proud honourable tough blokes who kept their thoughts to themselves.
    No wonder these limp wristed cu*ts give everything away on a plate.
    They didn’t have to earn it.
    Easy come easy go.

  328. 328
    Abolish the Licence Fee says:

    Nice insight into everyday life with Lord Mandhandlebum. Pity it’s been illegal since 1979.

  329. 329
    Psychic says:

    I’m shooting at an open goal here, but….did Gordoom wish his team good luck?

  330. 330
    "Disgusted" of Tunbridge Wells says:

    The only thing that’ll sort this shit heap of a country out is about ten years of Military rule. Starting now.

  331. 331
    Psychic says:

    That’s a little unfair. Certainly, though, SHIT is all over his knob.

  332. 332
    Voting Floater says:

    The last time the phrase “silly idiot” was used here was in 1934. Welcome back! Makes a change from the usual foul invective.

    He is also a dope, nitwit, twerp, blockhead and nincompoomp, as well as being a lady’s front bottom.

    Moreover he is fond of chutney and should therefore be suspended from the nearest lamppost and presented to an audience of ayatollahs, peace be upon them, who can pelt the infidel with cobblestones to their hearts’ content.

  333. 333
    Psychic says:

    Judging by the results in Afghanistan and Iraq, I don’t think so!

  334. 334
    You 'orrible lot says:

    Plus a spell of national service for the feral hoodies currently running amok on housing estates. They need a father figure. A great big hairy-arsed butt-kicking sgt major should do very nicely thank you.

  335. 335
    Psychic says:

    A decent, biological father would be a damn sight better.

  336. 336
    Voting Floater says:

    ** Applause for both **

  337. 337
    Voting Floater says:


  338. 338
    Ratsniffer says:

    There was me thinking it was a couple of years worth of EU gravy train expenses….

  339. 339
    Geneticist says:

    Does not compute. Gene pool already corrupted by pond life.

  340. 340
    Voting Floater says:

    Seated, hands tied behind their backs, Max Bygraves through headphones. Far worse.

    I used to like Crossroads. As students we scored points: 5 for a wobbly cardboard wall, 10 for an actor standing or sitting in front of a briefcase (concealing the script); 15 for lack of continuity in Benny’s woolly hat; and 25 every time Amy Turtle fluffed her lines. My top score for one episode was 85.

    No wonder I only got a third.

  341. 341
    So17 says:

    Alan (Dunkin) Duncan invites some treehugger to parliament after he had dug up his lawn and planted flowers in the shape of a £ sign.
    Said treehugger was a good looking young man so that may explain Dunkins unguarded comments.
    ‘Loose lips suck pricks’

  342. 342
    Give your arse a chance says:

    That’s right, let’s turn vicious thugs into well trained vicious thugs. Got a brain?

    Plus the army doesn’t want the little fuckers anyway, and I can’t say I blame them.

  343. 343
    Psychic says:

    Dunkin’ should be hung for what he’s done to so many innocent children.

  344. 344
    Watch The Skies! says:

    So, the Labour Party force a Speaker (who is nominally Conservative) upon the Commons.

    The ‘Conservative’ candidate is reviled by his own party.

    The Conservatives leave him to hang out to dry.

    So far, their plan to discredit the man (and install their own candidate instead) is working.

  345. 345
    summer_Breeze says:

    I’m ready for the revolution, anytime anyone wants to call us to action.

    The lot of them make me sick, they have destroyed this country whilst playing their selfish and childish games.
    It’s about time they were told once and for all, that they are just the servants, we are the masters and they should know their place!!!

  346. 346
    Trev says:

    “MPs recently voted” – the moves came way back in January I believe. Long before the expenses scandal erupted.

    Duncans comments were not to some crony – they were to a known critic. I think it safe to assume his remarks were laced with sarcasm, black humour, irony or whatever. Dumb … yes dumb as well.

    We do pay MPs a fair amount – but as with most middle class occupations the tax and benefits man take 50% of a fair chunk of that – and if we want to pay our MPs peanuts we must not be surprised if they perform like monkeys. The hours may be short if an MP works to rule but they can be I imagine quite long if they attempt to do the job properly.

    I would prefer to reserve my bile and prejudice for the dumb assed bankers who have ruined our country and their fellow travellers the err … the get rich quick market traders. After all we can vote out MPs.

  347. 347
    You 'orrible lot says:

    Yes I have got a brain, you tedious twat. I can’t blame the army for not wanting them either, but I’d rather have the horrible little shits taught a bit of discipline for a few years, and actually made to do some work, rather than running about terrorising people with impunity, fathering illegitimate kids all over the place and sticking two fingers up to the law who are too busy chasing motorists.

  348. 348
    Observer says:

    These “Little Fuckers” are children from Nu Labour’s broken Britain. If you want to send anyone to war, then please send those responsible!

  349. 349
  350. 350
    Rutlander says:

    Duncan. Resign.

  351. 351
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Poor Hunky Dunc
    Starts out so well then ends up having to share rooms and tax evasion plans with a poofter.

  352. 352
    oatener says:

    didn’t AD have a certain, ahem, “birthday present” related to this subject some time ago?

  353. 353


    The regulators ruined the banks via a regulation called Basel2 that basically ensured a boom in credit (used for consumption and the collapse in house affordability) that would inevitably cause an economic collapse.

  354. 354

    Better to create a benefits system that does not financially incentivise poor parents to reproduce at the expense of possible better parents.

  355. 355

    All you’ll get is a change of tie-colours on the government side of the house of commons.

  356. 356
    Sod 'em all says:

    Guido, do we have to keep seeing that appalling picture of Jacqui Smith at the top of your home page? Do we really deserve that fat, ugly, troughing cυnt’s boat-race lowering at us over the cornflakes?
    Have a heart FFS. Take it down for pity’s sake!

  357. 357

    It the ACTIVE policy of dysgenics to reward the feckless and punish the prudent that really needs to change.

  358. 358
    Anonymous says:

    Too late. Mrs Dale is already upset and stamping her foot on Newsnight! They obviously like to watch each others backs so to speak.

  359. 359
    Panic Attack says:

    Good Lord!!!
    Do you really mean to suggest the whole thing is a set-up?
    We’re all going to be ruined! Ruined! Ruined, I tell you!

  360. 360
    Panic Attack says:

    Oh well, looks like you’re right…

    (preparing to commit suicide)

  361. 361
    Anonymous says:

    No, but you are a Huntista

  362. 362

    More like his extremely well deserved p45.

  363. 363


    Watch out! The US Internal Revenue might want YOUR income! No matter where you are in the world…

    Better be careful of doing business with American firms or in places the Americans might like to pretend to own. Like the rest of the world…

  364. 364


    The NHS is all about people NOT taking care of themselves.

    Just one of the reasons it’s a disaster.

  365. 365


    On 21 January 2006, Oaten resigned from the Liberal Democrat front bench when it was revealed by the News of the World that he had had a relationship with a 23-year-old male prostitute between the summer of 2004 and February 2005. The newspaper also alleged that Oaten had engaged in ‘three-in-a-bed’ sex sessions with two male prostitutes.[6] Rumours that the sex sessions had involved coprophilia were subsequently reported in Private Eye[7] and an opinion piece in the The Daily Telegraph.

  366. 366


    Lots of people call me Dave, my mum calls me David, my wife calls me Dave, I don’t really notice what people call me.

  367. 367
  368. 368
    freddie flintoff says:

    o/t lads get this

    is funny

  369. 369
    Church Mouse says:

    Thank God the UK tax situation was never favourable enough for me nor anyone else to try to earn any honest money!
    If the yanks hadn’t have fucked me out of it, then Nu Labour surely would have.

  370. 370
    freddie flintoff says:

    right usa has 1.2 trillion debt

    we have 1.2 trillion debt WHAT THE FUCK the usa is 10 times bigger ?

  371. 371
    Church Mouse says:

    They’re all the same; without exception…

  372. 372
    freddie flintoff says:

    yep lad they are but there is always hope , thank fuck we aint like burma

  373. 373
    freddie flintoff says:

    sky sources : lockerbie bomber to go free


  374. 374
    bloke with nadgers says:

    No you twat. Fucking APPLES!

  375. 375
    kevH says:

    Yes Mr Fawkes, do not think about big elephants running around the front room. Also, do not think about murdering politicians, or smashing up their property that they have obtained illegitimately through dodgy means.

  376. 376
    davy says:

    Was Alan Duncan including peers?
    Lord Mandleson is often in the shit

  377. 377
    noddy says:

    Now run along little fella and try not to blow up and otherwise kill to death 270 people.

    Mind how you go.

  378. 378

    As I’ve pointed out elsewhere, I suspect the only reason for Duncan’s present eminence is that he is a preening queen. So the $64,000 question is, what does the bastard have on the Tories?

  379. 379
    moomin says:

    ………….plus all that uphill gardening that needs to be done.

  380. 380

    We’ll all be happy when he finally says ‘Tata!’ and pisses off into his lavishly equipped dungeon with a horde of Brazilian catamites, anyway.

  381. 381

    Is George a secret Yank?

    I gather that in the land of the septics, a P45 is called a ‘pink slip’, which I’m sure Georgie Girl would love ;o)

  382. 382

    I thought the buggers legalised it in 1967, or have I got the wrong end of the stick here?

  383. 383

    Basel 2 certainly contributed, but the main problem was the coming to power of bank executives who had no idea either of banking or of risk – they were in the main a bunch of cheap salesmen (and women) who thought they could run a bank like a supermarket.

    Had the FSA been remotely on the ball (and in possession of a pair), they would have ensured that such people were restrained by proper regulation, but since a certain G Brown was in a position to influence them (a Chancellor who has never done a real job, not even as a shopkeeper), they were in effect eunuchs.

    The fault lies squarely at the door of No. 10, but the instruments of destruction were incompetent salesmen pretending to be bankers.

  384. 384
    Anonymous says:

    rid us of these turbulent bandits please

  385. 385
    Davy says:

    lots, just like mandy has on Labour

  386. 386
    Biffo says:

    Agree with you there. ‘Honest politician’ is indeed an oxymoron around the Mother of Parliaments. ‘Hardworking’ & ‘intelligent’ seems to be even rarer.

  387. 387
    Biffo says:

    Annette Brooke, one of our local MPs (Lib Dem) is in the same league as Kate Hoey etc. Superb constituency MP & works for all constituents regardless of their political stripe – will happily take up ‘issues’ & run with them. Takes time for the ‘little people’ & came out of the expenses scandal very well – did a webcast/phone in with the local newspaper. Supports accountability/transparancy. Unfortunately, she’s the exception, not the rule.

  388. 388
    Biffo says:

    Steal, beg & get on the benefits gravy train that is Labourite Britain.

  389. 389
    Biffo says:

    Yeah, that’s right – most of them go into Parliament to make a difference – to their bank balance – first, last & all stops inbetween.

  390. 390
    Flemingcrag says:

    After his disasterous and totally embarrassing appearance on HIGNFY this little Hunt should have ben sacked by David Cameron. If he was anything other than style over substance I would have called him a twat.
    His only claim to fame now, is the prat who made Squeaker Bercow seem a; pillar of virtue, modest and unassuming, a true sevant of the people and a man without a single selfish gene in his body.
    If David Cameron decides to keep him in his present position then it is confirmed, the Conservatives are determined to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory at the next general election.

  391. 391
    Lanchester Lad says:

    “the next hapless canvasser to knock on my door…………” ?????????

    Don’t know where you live but I’ve never seen a canvasser knock on on my door for the past 3 elections !!!! although of course they USED to weigh the Labour vote around these parts but given the recent last 2 local elections the constituency is now probably a marginal so I guess we’ll be inundated with loads of the ******* next time around !!!!

  392. 392
    I'm NOT a Celebrity - BUT Get me outta here -----please!!!!!!! says:

    The “Bush Tucker Trial” should be interesting

  393. 393
    lord kilt says:

    forget about the snp troughing,they do,big style.

    they have gone soft on crime and crime has gone through the roof in scotland.

    scotland would be bust without the uk,the snp mobsters cant believe they have got it so wrong.

  394. 394
    Give your arse a chance says:

    Yeah, that’s good, being called a tedious twat by someone who says “bring back national service” as if it was in some way novel or clever.

    You’ve made your point, such as it is. You can go and have a wank over your Daily Mail now.

  395. 395
    Scallywag says:

    I quite like the smell of toast in the morning…

  396. 396
    Hook Line and sinker says:

    meanwhile the Rover report is buried, The tax burden on houses is being rediscussed , employment is soaring under Labour AGAIN! businesses failing and its a free for all on benefits for anyone but those that actually deserve them

    The main topic of conversation though is Mr Duncan but little or nothing about all the rest. Well done mandlelson a classic piece of spin and deception to bury all the bad news. The problem is shit or no shit everyone falls for it hook line and sinker EVERY FUCKING TIME.

    Really pissed off with this lets get back to the government failings and not be distracted by total prats like Duncan

  397. 397
    Percy ThrowEmOutNow says:

    Following his favourite choice for troughing, perhaps Mr Duncan should go on extended gardening leave

  398. 398
    Anonymous says:

    Agreed, they hold us in total contempt and treat us like idiots. Sad fact is, they have the measure of the “great British public” and know they can take the piss all day long and get away with it.

    Only action I can think of is to say fuck all the main three and vote for whatever independent or small party you fancy.

  399. 399
  400. 400
    talamunji says:

    Without delay – the man spells TROUBLE for Dave in particular and the party
    in general.

  401. 401
    Enrich Himmler says:

    Mein Fuheur vos ein great politician, kindly caring of all human rights (except those he decided were subhuman) and dedicated to a united Europe at all costs. He vould be so proud of ein EU, vich vill last for von thousand years. Seig Heil!

  402. 402
    Anonymous says:

    Compulsory steriliasation for all social economic groups 4 & 5.

  403. 403
    Your local MP says:

    I am in work and struggling jolly hard to keep my fat gut and lard arse intact on the pittance I am paid. Now stop moaning and get back to your minimum wage job and give you tax money to me.

  404. 404
    pissed off Taxpayer says:

    Agreed, but New Labia and indeed Blue Labour (forget the milksop Limp Dumps) don’t give a fuck about anyone in this country whether in uniform or civvies.

    £500 a month – the fucking Hunt I have to feed a family on fucking half that while paying taxes to keep Hunts like him in luxury. Time for a few paras to “use their training” here on some MPs that would win the hearts and minds of the Brits for sure.

  405. 405
    Anonymous says:


  406. 406

    Seem’s to me That These Troughing Bastards Are Ripping Us Off For An Average £300,000 Per year! So If This Twat think’s Thats Rations, It Just Goes to Show That they Dont Live on Our Planet ! What The Fuck Do They Do ? They Dont Park Their Fat Arses Till Dinner Time Then They Nod Off To Some Old Fart Droning On About Fuck All .Whilst Some Researcher Dreams Up Their Next policy Then it’s Off For Lunch And Drinks In one Of The FOURTEEN Subsidised Bars And Resteraunts In Their Palace to Spend Some Of The £500 Per Week THey Claim For Food These People Are The Biggest Spongers On The System We Have They Should All Be Taken Out And Shot !

  407. 407
    Hooray Henry says:

    Labour really are a bit thick, they have increased taxes on shops and pubs to the point where more than a thousand are closing each week and then at the same time using the tax taken for the shops and pubs to pay / subsidise “Artists’ to creative use of vacant shops brings life to desolate high streets”

    • About 72,000 retail outlets predicted to close in 2009 – The Guardian

    stupid stupid fuckers

  408. 408
    Eric the Purple says:

    MPs treated like shit?

    They can’t surely ALL have been shafted by Mandelson!

  409. 409
    shelling-out says:

    It’s £64,000 actually.

  410. 410
    Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

    I wouldn’t be too sure about that. Think about it. There is a battle to be fought and you advocate a mob. I prefer an army.

    I’m not an apologist for the man, but it seems obvious it was a feeble joke, even AD can’t believe that he is forced to live on rations. He has form in the feeble humour camp, look at his appearance on HIGNY.

    And what makes you think Independent MPs would be any more honest?

    Filling the HOC with MPs of both integrity and intelligence is what is required.

  411. 411
    Sir William Waad says:

    Banking is a simple business. You borrow money from one person and pay them 2% interest. Then you lend it to 16 other people at 8% interest. Any fool could do it once they had a big wodge of capital behind them. The only thing that can go wrong is if a bank lends the money to somebody who can’t pay it back AND doesn’t take proper security. This the banks did, on a huge scale.

    They thought they were OK because they could sell the loans they made and pass the risk of a default to somebody else. This worked right up to the point where it became a necessity and then failed abruptly.

    So it is 100% the fault of the banks, but it is also the fault of the regulators who didn’t regulate, Governments that ran up deficits, central banks that left the money supply tap on and consumers who wanted shiny goodies they didn’t have the money for. The bank’s mistakes were the immediate cause of their failure, but the other failures were each what the lawyers call a causa sine qua non; the banks could have been protected from their own foolishness, just as the lookout on the Titanic should have had a pair of binoculars.

  412. 412
    Sir William Waad says:

    Meanwhile France and Germany have moved out of recession. They have Sarkozy and Merkel. They also have competent administrators. We have Brown.

  413. 413

    This Shower Of Shit Will Do Anything For Media Attention Ronny Biggs Last Week Lockerbie Bomber This Week Who Will SUPER TROUGHER STRAW Let Out Next Week Yorkshire Ripper ? Abu Hamza ? Dennis Nielson ?Or Maybe The Bolger Killers ? OH Sorry They Let Them Out Years Ago !

  414. 414
    TOO FAR says:

    I agree the buck stops at the top, the trouble the top isn’t the top people.
    Brown and his advisers just aren’t and were never with the experiece required. …. just full of bullshit.
    hence “it started in America” wasn’t our fault!!! Incompetence to the extreme

  415. 415
    David Blunkett's Cheese Grater says:

    Aah, never mind….. ’twas a good score for Scotland last night……. (for the English).
    Never mind FRISPs, you can all support England in the finals next year!!!

  416. 416
    genghiz the kahn says:

    387. Time for Guido to re-run “where’s Gordon”?

    Perhaps sightings could be put on to You Tube or Guy TV. On the other hand didn’t Robin Cock and John Schmidt both have heart attacks whilst out walking?

  417. 417
    freddie flintoff says:

    and how much taxtake have they lost through the smoking ban

  418. 418
    The General Public says:

    Alan Duncan’s had his Gerald Ratner moment and said what he really thinks.
    He should go immediately. If David Cameron is serious, he’ll force it.

  419. 419
    freddie flintoff says:

    maybe someones done a “dr kelly ” on him ?

  420. 420
    genghiz the kahn says:

    in this case there would be c. 60 million suspects.

  421. 421
    Doctor Mick says:

    It knocks, “Recession worst in modern history” off the front page.

  422. 422
    Rafa Benitez says:

    If Alan Duncan was Sam Allardyce he’d be charged with bringing the game into disrepute. he’d probably end up sitting in the back of the stands for a fortnight.

  423. 423
    Odds Bodkins says:

    “The more MPs Guido meets, the more he is confirmed in his view that they are for the most; venal, egotistical, untrustworthy, shits.”

    Using the same logic, so are most lobby journalists and MSM journalists in general. The fact so few have spoken out about MP excesses can only mean they silently approve.

  424. 424
    jgm2 says:

    So Labour have put the ‘fix’ in for guaranteed higher unemployment in 2010 and 2011. When the Tories are likely to be in government.

    So they’ll be swooning about high Tory uemployment, high Tory taxes, Tory cuts and massive Tory budget deficits even though it was them Labour, that totally fucked the economy?

    And all the time, instead of attempting to do the right thing and address their economic lunacy they plan to simply print money and pray the wheels dont fall off before June 2010?

    They truly are evil c-unts aren’t they.

  425. 425
    freddie flintoff says:

    start with his friends ( if he has any )

  426. 426
    mad fred 2 para retired says:

    Remind us again how much money the public subsidises the Lobby Bar per year?

    The cosiness between the BBC & Westminster is becoming unsustainable.

    Both sides – the BBC & MPs – have a shared vested interest in not rocking each others boat.

    It stinks worse than Pravda did during the cold war.

  427. 427
    RavingMad says:

    Entirely agree.

    The divide between the elites and the rest has never been wider.

    I cannot see that changing anytime soon

  428. 428
    Mick says:

    There was a young man from Australia
    Who painted his arse like a dhalia
    Tuppence a smell was all very well
    But sixpence a kiss was a failure

    easy innit

  429. 429
    Trough Mixture says:

    Not so much a photo-op, more an helicopter and dog search. I’d pay to watch that.

  430. 430
    Bob Marley says:

    where am i ??

  431. 431
    genghiz the kahn says:

    I would have expected Brown to have headed to the Wasdale Head Inn which hosts the biggest liar in the world competition. At least he could walk off with the title for life.

  432. 432
    shelling-out says:

    He might, but he won’t be paying for it.

  433. 433
    genghiz the kahn says:

    The Lakeland Terriers are quite nasty little beasts, when they bite they don’t like to let go.

    The Wasdale Head Inn hosts the Biggest Liar In the World Competition, so my guess that Brown has gone there.

  434. 434
    genghiz the kahn says:

    the Santon bridge Inn claims to host this Competion in memory of Will Ritson a former landlord of the Wasdale Head Inn.

  435. 435
    TOO FAR says:

    The so called journalists, Toenails come to mind, would loose their contacts in the HOC if they told (printed) what is the “truth” They would be blacklisted by the arsholes that infest the HOC.
    No story (that is acceptable to the inmates) no work. In other words, don’t rock the boat and you will keep your job!
    cynical I might be. Another form of corruption by our wonderful leaders.
    This won’t change whoever gets in.
    Pisses me off.

  436. 436
    freddie flintoff says:

    to call toenails a journalist would be disputed under the trades despcription act

  437. 437
    shelling-out says:

    I’ve thought this for a while. Nick Robinson can scarcely hide his delight when reporting anything even slightly awry if it concerns the Conservatives, while ignoring the much larger (and more important) problems this government created. It’s blindingly obvious that someone from the higher eschelons of power is looking after people at the Beeb.

    I think they should all be given the boot.

  438. 438
    Trough Mixture says:

    The illuminated scroll would brighten a 12′ X 8′ living space very nicely.

    Just listened to one of the Lockerbie parents, Susan Cohen:

    “Tony Blair? May he rot in hell…”

    Though many years lapsed, I couldn’t help mouthing a silent ‘Amen’.

  439. 439
    Engineer says:

    Please don’t inflict Brown on Wasdale. It’s a wild and beautiful place; it does not deserve a pestilence of that magnitude.

    Besides, not far from the lower end of Wasdale lies Sellafield, and the further Jonah is kept from that plant, the better.

  440. 440
    Fucked Off with All of Them says:

    The things you have to do to avoid saying Hoon!

  441. 441
    Leather on willow says:

    Would have made no difference – whole England team was abysmal from day one at Headingley. Bopara? Cook? Give me a break.

  442. 442
    Steve Expat says:

    Alan Duncan is a cυnt?

  443. 443
    TOO FAR says:

    To call Brown the biggest liar!
    You forget some of his ministers, surely they are contenders as well. Facinating competition. The electorate can vote on line, the winner gets the first lampost to hang on!

  444. 444
    freddie flintoff says:

    thats right he is

  445. 445
    Steve Expat says:

    Engineer, can we not put Broon in the middle of Sellafield and turn off all the safety devices?

  446. 446
    Michael Jackson says:

    Anyone seen my nose?

  447. 447
    Unelected tosspot says:

    PM does not stand for Peter Mandelson – it’s only in your dreams.

    Time for your next dollop of green custard, dearie.

  448. 448
    Bristols-nacht says:


  449. 449
    Steve Expat says:

    Indeed – Dave needs to wake up and get rid of this liability.

    He has done a lot to get the gay vote for the Tories but he has put his foot in his smug mouth so many times now – he obviously thinks he deserves to be treated differently from the rest of us…

    Makes a right tit of himself about 4 minutes in…

  450. 450
    Engineer says:

    Technically rather challenging. We could send him for a nice long swim in one of the older spent fuel storage ponds.

    Actually, he might make himself useful. Give him a wetsuit, a bucket and shovel, and he could make a start on removing 50-years-worth of mud, sludge, decomposed spent fuel and seagull shit that has accumulated in the bottom of the older, unroofed cooling ponds. That would save millions in remote handling devices needed to do the job safely. It would be a real contribution to community service. Give him a nice glow, as well….

  451. 451
    rhys says:

    You’re a shit, Guido, and so are most of your crude and moronic readers.

  452. 452
    Crude moron says:

    Fuck off you cυnt

  453. 453
    Reality check for little englanders says:

    Yeah ur right Scotland are crap at Football but apart from one trophy won on home soil 40 odd years ago what have England done that deserves comparrison with Germany, Italy, Argentina, Brazil etc etc ?You delude urselves into thinking you are sat at the top table with these other countries who have won MULTIPLE trophies , The stats dont lie England are second division, live with it.

  454. 454
    Steve Expat says:

    What a brilliant idea!

    Is there also room for a few more politicians in your big pond? The unelected one prettneding to be in charge at the moment springs to mind, as does the fat bint who claimed to be in charge last week.

    For the sake of balance we should of course include the queer tory-boy Hoon on this morning’s front pages displaying his sense of over-entitlement.

  455. 455
    mad fred 2 para retired says:

    BBC Pravda World Service were wetting themselves with glee & anticipation last night that the Lockerbie mass murderer may be released in time for Ramadan.

    The “Scottish Government” is moving heaven & earth, inshallah, to make it happen.

    Good dhimmi’s.

  456. 456
    Steve Expat says:

    What a brilliant idea!

    Is there also room for a few more politicians in your big pond? The unelected one pretneding to be in charge at the moment springs to mind, as does the fat bitch who claimed to be in charge last week.

    For the sake of balance we should of course include the gay tory boy Hoon on this morning’s front pages displaying his sense of over-entitlement.

  457. 457
    Anonymous says:

    Unfortunately, this story is just an urban legend.

  458. 458
    Abolish the Licence Fee says:

    Agreed. It’s nice to know that european literature didn’t die along with Flaubert and Proust.

  459. 459
    Rant against the Machine says:

    “Verified on youtube” ? Is this now a replacement for Hansard ?

  460. 460
    shelling-out says:

    …on expenses, no doubt….!

  461. 461
    pissed off Taxpayer says:

    Agreed, fuck em all. I vote UKIP now.

  462. 462
    pissed off Taxpayer says:

    Mandelcum is fucking the car workers and the rest of the country as well. Oh well, he does like a bit of rough I suppose.

  463. 463
    Lord no-mark knobhead of North London says:

    I’ve always thought Harry Roberts deserves a break. Only 3 coppers, after all.

  464. 464
    Red Wedgie says:

    Ben Elton and Red Wedge saved the country from Fatcher man. That is why we still have a great car industry, booming factories full of happy workers and the best football team in the world. PS, has anyone seen my old working class mate Billy Bragg around Barking lately? Some fascists told me he now has a big house in Dorset, but Bill would never sell out the working class mate would he. Just like Ben Elton bet he still lives in a council flat and pens wickedly satirical songs and jokes about the evil Fatcher regime.

  465. 465
    Chairman of the Board says:

    Welcome to the club. You are hereby elected head of media relations.

  466. 466
    raymondo says:

    Just keep adding to the stats fuckwit, there’s a good troll.

  467. 467
    TOO FAR says:

    Don’t be so rude arsehole!
    Ho! sorry you are excused, Welsh sheepshagger are you BOYO! Typical of the inbreeding in those valleys. SHAME!

  468. 468
    Budgie says:

    If CMD sacked all the loony troughers like Duncan there wouldn’t be much left of the Tories in Westminster. Similarly for Liebore and the Lib-Dims. If Duncan thinks his job is so bad, why doesn’t he resign?

    They cannot be trusted. At all.

    We need Direct Democracy where the voters instigate their own political policy directly via petitions and referendums. This completely bypasses the arrogant jerks currently in parliament.

  469. 469
    Old Nick Heavenly says:

    Big fans of Sarko and Merkel!

    OK, they are f’in politicians, but not hell bent on destroying the countries that they lead!

    Edmund ‘pauvre’ Conway (in DT) announces the strength of the United Condoms recovery because some foul Brit slung his Walkers crisp packet away in Switzerland!

    Jesus f’in Christ! How desperate can you get!

    Pauvre tâche (poor stain) is a wonderful expression to describe the Empty Gourd and all his merry persons!

  470. 470
    Engineer says:

    Good progress has been made, but there’s still a lot of clean-up and decommissioning to be done on the older plants. The newer ones (still in production) were designed with their eventual decommissioning in mind, but the old ones were not. Hence the need for much ingenuity and remotely-operated equipment to keep people’s dose rates within the (very tight) safety limits.

    If they could send in a team of “volunteers” (say, 646 of them) many jobs could be advanced much more easily and quickly.

    Time spent at the workface could be inversely proportional to troughing. The saints would get to sweep up in safe areas, the property tycoons would get a scrubbing brush and a bucket of nitric acid and be made to clean out the old highly-active waste storage tanks. That’ll take them weeks, ‘cos the HAST tanks have a lot of cooling coils and agitators in them. Very constricted and uncomfortable to work in, I would imagine. Heh, heh…

  471. 471
    Old Nick Heavenly says:


  472. 472
    Red Wedgie says:

    Indeed, when one hits the late 40s, doesn’t every red-blooded father of two decide that it is time to hire a rent boy, dress him up in a football outfit and engage in a little coprophilia? I know I did. I shall still vote for the Liberal Democrats as they represent the true party of the middle aged man in crisis.

  473. 473
    Anonymous says:

    Me too. Fuck the Lib/Lab/Con trick all EU cock suckers.

  474. 474
    Engineer says:

    Comprehensive answer awaiting moderation……grrr.

    A team of “volunteers” – say 646 of them – would reduce decommissioning costs considerably. Duties would be allocated in inverse proportion to troughing, so “saints” get to sweep up in safe areas, and “sinners” get to scrub out high-active storage tanks (the ones with lots of cooling coils and other bits and bats inside them, making them very constricted to work in, I would imagine – heh, heh…)

  475. 475
    thick as thieves says:

    yes sir titbox, there is a battle to be fought: a battle against corrupt party politicians and their mobs of apologists.
    you are one such scum apologist and are therefore by definition an enemy of democracy.
    now fuck off you fucking imbecile before I cave your fucking skull in.

  476. 476
    72 virgins says:

    Hello, big boy!

  477. 477
    shelling-out says:

    Alan Duncan must be a very poor judge of character as well as being an overpaid trougher. This man is a self-made millionaire who has (allegedly) made his fortune in oil, and as a lawyer.

    If he doesn’t think he’s being paid enough, may I suggest he goes back to work in the private sector, as being an MP is well beneath his financial aspirations, it would seem.

  478. 478
    Dr Nuts says:

    What I like is that you’re not allowed to call each other liars in the HoC’s. Apparently – they’re honourable gentlemen, and behave as such!

  479. 479
    mad fred 2 para retired says:

    New here?

  480. 480
    The big D says:

    You make the generalisation that a policy is determined by the orientation of the party that proposes it.

    A political party has policies that distinguish it from other parties. You can also have a policy created by a non political organisation.

    An organisation that had policies such as:

    allowing a referendum on the Lisbon treaty
    if Lisbon was rejected, allowing a referendum on Britain’s European future.
    making elected politicians responsible for there actions (reduce Quangos)
    making politicians abide by the same tax laws as the rest of the population.
    making the coercion of MPs to vote a certain way illegal.
    MPs pay independently assessed and linked to GDP.

    would not be a political party but one that put the interests of the electorate first.

    It probably would not appeal to the brain dead, completely incompetent candidates would have no party to protect them and any milking of the system for personal gain would be punished at election time.

  481. 481
    Engineer says:

    Including the women….

  482. 482
    thick as thieves says:

    said the manic depressive and anti social citizen.

  483. 483
    thick as thieves says:

    said hitler.

  484. 484
    stilyagi_air_corps says:

    The BBC ancient gaffes archive must have a hotline to NLHQ… this keeps happening.

  485. 485
    Trough Mixture says:

    “Hush, the babies are sleeping, the farmers, the fishers,
    the tradesmen and pensioners, cobbler, schoolteacher,
    postman and publican, the undertaker and the fancy woman,
    drunkard, dressmaker, preacher, policeman, the webfoot
    cocklewomen and the tiny minds.”

  486. 486
    Taffy was a Welshman, Taffy was a thief, broke into my kitchen and stole a leg of beef what a cunt! says:

    What a thieving fucking Taffy bastard, eh?

  487. 487
    Sarah says:

    Let them eat Kendal Mint Cake.

  488. 488
    shelling-out says:

    They are supposed to be Right, Honourable Gentlemen.

    An oxymoron if ever I heard one.

  489. 489
    Hooray Henry says:

    The Anglicisation of the name Rys is the “penetrator of the ovine brown eye”

  490. 490
    Daffyd Thomas says:

    Bacardi and Coke please, Myfanwy -‘ew regmencher.

  491. 491
    Sir William Waad says:

    They might mutate into something more appealing.

  492. 492
    Sir Reginald Titbrain says:


  493. 493
    thick as thieves says:

    in order to stabilise the banking sector and larger economy it is time to start taxing at 89% all bonuses paid to employees of companies receiving taxpayer support.
    where will they go if they do not like it? america?
    well in america they are charging a 90% tax on bonuses so that would be a silly move innit.
    cough up or fuck off.
    it is the only way.

  494. 494
    Steve Expat says:

    I think “Hoon-ourable Members” is more appropriate for the majority of the current lot!

  495. 495
    Heretic says:

    In India they say that if a man cant make money
    in business,he goes into politics !.
    goodness gracious me.

  496. 496
    An Ordinary Worker says:

    I cannot survive on £60k+ and £20k expenses because I am an average worker.
    Time to go you creep.

  497. 497
    Trough Mixture says:

    I’ve always thought the term ‘member’ most appropriate.

  498. 498


    There shouldn’t BE companies receiving money extorted from taxpayers.

    They should be bankrupt.

    Another waste of money by Gordon.

  499. 499
    solopolis says:

    Hahahahaha, what a surprise!

    Another sneaky, workshy, conniving cockroach complaining that he only has taxpayer funded tesco house white instead of Chateau Lafite to quaff. It’s a hard life isn’t it?

    Piss off you bunch of moneygrabbing tossers!

  500. 500
    Heretic says:


  501. 501

    Sir William Waad

    Credit is now almost 100% fungible with Cash. How many shops don’t take a credit card?

    The regulation Basel2 basically got rid of reserve requirements (we are now seeing them return as “Capital Adequacy”). In “fractional reserve banking” credit = 1/reserves; with reserves nearly zero it meant near infinite credit.

    This CHANGED banking from a model whereby Banks ALLOCATED a LIMITED amount of credit to the best borrowers, to a model where banks competed to LEND LEND LEND!

    This credit inflation was used for consumption (hiding the fall in economic competitiveness caused by EUSSR regulations) and had the effect of the massive fall in house affordability.

    Governments have a currency monopoly, but they abandoned their control of it. At the end of the day it’s the regulators fault.

  502. 502
    Heretic says:


  503. 503
    Heretic says:

    & when they’ve rotted let nature cut them down.

  504. 504
    Heretic says:

    George laird aka Alex Salmond i presume ?

  505. 505
    Heretic says:

    T !!!!!!!!!!

  506. 506
    Heretic says:

    CHELSEA ? omg

  507. 507
    Heretic says:

    please leave ‘yankisms’ out of this,incentivise indeed.

  508. 508

    Nope, there’s a BIG difference between stopping dysgenics and starting eugenics.

  509. 509

    So you’re a sufferer of mania ?

    It explains a lot about your incoherent rants.

  510. 510

    tat is a complete mentalist troll. Best ignore his violent troll fantasies.

  511. 511
    Trevor Brooking says:

    Blimey,you remember Amy Turtle!!?? There must have been points for actually hearing the prompter whan one of the cast “corpsed”

  512. 512
    Very confused Tory Lady says:

    Did somebody say badgers?

  513. 513
    Budgie says:

    I am not convinced Liebore are competent at anything. That includes competence at busting the country.

  514. 514
    Chooser says:

    Entirely սnderstandable.

  515. 515
    Naughty Little Girlie says:

    My boyfriend goes a bit off target sometimes, but I don’t think he’s tried my eye as yet…

  516. 516
    Free The Taffy One says:

    There’s not very nice, Boyo!

  517. 517
    Great Big Billy Goat Gruff says:

    He can’t! I ate him for lunch. He gave me indigestion.

  518. 518
    thick as thieves says:

    anticitizen, why do you do it? why do you insult the intelligence of the reader you american imecile? everyone knows that you are a shit stirring american troll and that the great thick as thieves is an heroic troll basher who kills evil trolls like you.
    DOH! you are so very dim anticitizen, a real dopey c’unt.

    sir shitforbrains,
    if you do not like it here then fuck off you fucking cripple.
    I believe conservativefoam is always in need of new retards and I am sure you will fit in there very well indeed.
    go there now.

  519. 519
    thick as thieves says:

    oh god, anticitizen is talking to herself again!

  520. 520
    thick as thieves says:

    the bankers criminal natures is the fault of the regulators?
    now you are talking daft anticitizen. just another one of your incoherent rants.
    you are off your head you nutter.

  521. 521
    Taffy was a Welshman, Taffy was a thief, broke into my kitchen and stole a leg of beef what a cunt! says:

    Well it wasn’t very nice stealing my leg of beef was it you Taffy bastard?
    Mother was looking forward to that joint and she ended up with spuds and gravy.
    All thanks to those thieving fucking Taffies.

  522. 522
    oatener says:

    Duncan likes to put his money where his mouth is, like Oaten.

  523. 523

    […] Most MPs are Sh*ts – Guy Fawkes’ blog MP complains about “leaving on rations” and being “treated like shit”. Yeah, sure… (tags: UK corruption politics) […]

  524. 524
    Fucked Off with All of Them says:

    I want to apologise for saying that Duncan and Mandy should go off and fuck each other’s bottoms and leave us alone. It was quite wrong of me.

    I should have said that they should fuck each other’s bottoms and continue to make our lives a misery and live high on the hog whilst we suffer from recession.

    And they are still cnuts!!!!

  525. 525
    Pissed off as well says:

    I don’t think Guido minded you saying that Duncan and Mandy should go off and fuck each other’s bottoms and leave us alone.

    He might object to them keeping on making our lives a misery.

    In my opinion, he should have not banned your original comment but your second one.

  526. 526
    Bankruptcy says:

    charming post. due one decimal where I quarrel with it. I am emailing you in detail.

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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