Friday Caption Competition (Exclusive Purnell Hotpants Edition)
N.B. If you like what you see, he is back on the market ladies…
If Dave Were President He’d Have Resigned By Now | Alex Wickham
Loongate: What Happened in the Blue Boar Bar | Simon Walters
Lib Dems Should Support EU Referendum | LibDemVoice
Feldman’s Denial | Fraser Nelson
Obama’s Presidency is Imploding | Nile Gardiner
Miliband Could Be a Great PM | Thomas Pascoe
What Are You Really Paying in Income Tax? | TPA
Galloway’s Mad Month | The Commentator
Murdoch: Facebook is the New MySpace | Telegraph
Clegg’s Manifesto Referendum Pledge Spin Unravels | ConHome
Coalition Here to Stay | Ben Brogan
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Tom Harris bemoans the public’s attitude to politicians…
“Mr Oborne echoes the lazy, anti-politics whine we hear so often these days, all based on the absurd notion that politicians were once loved and only fell out of public favour during the expenses scandal. He should take a walk to the Strangers’ Bar. But not to sup with the patrons he seems to despise so much, dearie me, no; he should instead look at the paintings on the corridor outside the bar, which depict the devastating fire which consumed most of the Palace in 1834. And he should reflect on the fact that on that dramatic night, as the Commons went up in flames, a crowd gathered on the South Bank to clap and cheer.”
Focus group time. says:
The thing that Dave needs to work out is which group is more likely to vote Conservative. Mad swivel-eyed loons or mad homosexuals wishing to get married.
tip the boiling oil now! NOW MOTHERFUCKER!
11
Purnell backing out.
I’m too sexy for my car too sexy for my car
Too sexy by far
And I’m too sexy for my hat
Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that
I’m a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I shake my little touche on the catwalk
Nice hips
(in the clip)
He’s single again?
Just goes to show, without their ministerial salaries, these Labour ministers just aren’t very attractive. I don’t expect Prescott would have gone very far in opposition.
Bloomin’ heck Guido you have a better Purnell caption competition than we do today!
http://keeprightonline.wordpress.com/2009/07/17/caption-competition-purnell-edition/
Purnell returns home dejectedly after suddenly finding out it isn’t the 1970′s any more.
Are you referring to his shorts?
And his haircut really – yes, for the caption:
Labour Minister returns from 30 year timewarp
Yes – maybe he has eventually found out hotpants and sideburns aren’t fashionable anymore.
Purnell proves Margaret Thatcher’s Theory of Socialism – “All mouth and no trousers”
look at my lucky legs lucky they don’t snap and disapear up my arse
With those legs? Wouldn’t take you far in the T de France. Wonder why men who have the worst legs want to show them off all the time?
“Purnell denies Guido story that he is running”
Beat you bastards before you could say it…
Just out of shot is Lord Fumblebum of Boy bearing down on him, sporting a massive erection….
What is that sign just above the arch?
Its a bit blurred but definitely C-U-something- T.
Mr Fawkes please moderate your site so anything with sexual references about me is not published. If the BBC comply with my demands I would have thought if they are at my beck and call – so should you be – but let me put the record strait- whilst I like Mr Purnell no way am I sexually attracted to him – Rogering him would not forward my career in anyway and, he is over 25 yrs of age.
Tony is my only true love – I love Tony.. Tony for EU president
Well back to plotting and scheming
ps – Gordo is hard work, and doesnt listen.. He got a hard time in PMQ and that select committee over these stupid helicopers.. and he come storming in saying we gotta get that fu*king General Doughnut.. Next thing all over front page of ToryGraph… when will he ever learn – dont get mad get even…
That really did make me laugh.
Isn’t that what they all need “a shot up the arse”.
Yeah, very good.
( Just humour him folks. Keeps him sweet.)
Nice ass! Shame about the face! (“,)
Brown reject runs out
11 Downing Street finally remembers the Goblin gold “safely” stored at Gringots Bank in DiagonAlley and despatches a minion to check if Gordon and Lord Voldemort have already appropriated it……
“Expenses clampdown leads to more relaxed dress code at DWP”
Maybe he should ask the BBC for some new socks:
“BBC1 controller Jay Hunt has spent more than £2,000 of licence fee payers’ money on gifts – including £50 on socks and over £800 of Molton Brown products.
The list of luxury goods, published as part of today’s tranche of new BBC expenses revelations, included a “silver bangle with charm” for £94.50, a £43.45 cashmere and silk jumper, a £59.95 biscuit jar, bought as a wedding gift, and £49 on a gift basket for the birth of a baby boy.
She also spent £666 on 14 sets of Molton Brown gift sets at Christmas, around £150 on three other batches of Molton Brown toiletries, and £48.95 for two pairs of cashmere socks.”
That’s our money she’s spending. Have you had your gift yet?
No, neither have I….
118 118 guys subject to downsizing.
Sorry, O/T – but my heart bleeds for old Blinky:
http://www.spectator.co.uk/coffeehouse/5189718/the-look-on-ed-balls-face.thtml
Well mine doesn’t!!
Bingo!…… legs eleven!
better get to work on cleaning that fucking flat then..nah let me ring up expenses.
Yah ! Bruno ? It iz Jamez.. I am vanting you to pop over to my haus reit now and be giving me the body rub and be pushing your tank into my de-militarised zone where ze sun is not shining !
In an attempt to keep up with modern times, changing of the guard adopted a new, less formal approach.
Wacko Jocko is jealous of Purnell’s superior moonwalk.
” I vunder if I can be getting a job in ze movies with an arse as big as this ?”
Hmmmmm, now why do you think my pants suddenly burst in to flames?
” I wandered lonely as a Hunt..”
Worlds worse paparazzi’s final attempt. considering teaching.
You appear to have a couple of bits of string hanging from your shorts Mr Purnell….oh sorry they’re your legs.
Must be a joke in here about being just about to disappear up a back passage…?
Don’t be squeamish, Suzannah.
“Purnell takes the short cut to success thru a back passage.”
“Any old random back passage” OR “The back passage”
He must have been showing off his Toenails impression.
“Of course leaving the Government was a smart move – the better to marshal the troops behind my leadership campaign…”
It was a good night last night Guido, thanks. You’re looking a little tubby though, maybe you should cut down on the beer for a while?
Anyway: I understand that PO management, workers, and potential investors are concerned about the regulatory framework. I agree, it needs revision to give a better focus and prevent cherry picking. If new management can bring innovation and PO workers can get a good deal Mandelson’s plan could help get people thinking more about added value, fairness, and building a better tomorrow than nitpicking over short-term trivialities like phoney elections, recessions, and scapegoating the poor.
Comment like yours is just more of the same claims and kicking someone up the ass. It’s pure trolling and flamebait: unaccountable wind-up. It’s illogical and selfish – the politics of ego.
So, you can cut the bullshit and patronising attitude. It just makes you look a bigger ass. Still, it’s your karma.
Charles Hardwidge @ 7:59 pm, Mon 16th Feb 2009 on LabourList
Creep.
‘short-term trivialities like phoney elections, recessions, and scapegoating the poor’ – my ghast is utterly flabbered – unbelievable.
This must be a wind up.
now now, calm down ladies.
oh and charles, please try not to be such a fucking bitch all the time, eh?
do you crippled trolls really need to be so loud all the time?
and do you really think that the bilge you are pumping out here offers any value to the proportion of votes your respective scum parties hope to win in the next election?
don’t be daft!
you c’unts are dancing to my fucking tune now motherfuckers.
good innit.
Did you catch Top Gear last week? Nowhere to nowhere for 37p, flat rate. It sounds like a bargain (if you live in Nowhere). Aside from that, it showed the Royal Mail to be a fantastically well-organised machine (and in no way a Potemkin utility, primed to give VIP status to a top-rated TV show’s latest folly).
37p is a relic of the 19th century dream of a Universal Postal Service. It will be missed, as such things usually are, too little – and only after it has faded into memory. Maybe we should ring-fence it from modernity and agree that society should bear the cost.
“short-term trivialities like .. recessions”
“Lord Mandelson, the Business Secretary, [said] that Britain faces a decade of public spending “constraints” to “rebalance” its finances.” – Times, July 16th
By “rebalance”, Mandy means “pay back the 1.5 trillion Gordon’s borrowed, er plus the PFI”.
Funny thing is, haven’t we just had 14 years of economic boom, with Labour in charge during 12 of them? So where exactly did Labour put all the dosh?
Those were “the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the creeping locust, the stripping locust and the gnawing locust.” Some of that dosh soaked into the desert sands, some of it lined the pockets of consultants, some of it was well spent, some of it went on vanity projects, some of it was paid to the ‘sick’ and the unemployed to keep them under economic house arrest, some of it was simply urinated in a mural direction.
Nobody cared, because, after all, it was just Government Money, money that never had to be got by hard work, skill, thrift or even luck, money that nobody loved, cared about or sweated over, money that was just found in great heaps on the floor, waiting to be spent, money that could be used for any purpose whatever or for no purpose at all.
That’s a very eloquent answer, and I thank you for it (very genuinely), very much, but where did the money actually go? I mean, every socialist in Britain (ok, not a big club, and getting smaller by the day, but there are a few of them left) say that “state spending oils the wheels of the economy”. So, Gordon’s spent 12 years spending money like water and as soon as a recession hits he has absolutely no money in the bank and has to borrow 1.5 trillion pounds (and start printing money) to pay his bills. Now he has to pay that 1.5 trillion back, plus interest.
I understand how he wasted all the money (equality and diversity managers and all the other non-jobs advertised in the Guardian), but where is the money now?
Anyway, my caption; “English taxpayer, fleeced by Brown, makes for the exit.”
BREAKING NEWS !!!!!!!!!!!!
BBC CONFIRMS James Purnell is to be new star of Saturday Night TV !!!!
A spokesman said “So many people when we mentioned Mr Purnell’s name said ‘James Who’ that we suddenly realised he just HAD to be…
The New Doctor Who !”
He’s ‘Going in through the out door’
“But the good news is I’ve ruined David Miliband’s career as well as mine..”
Feel the burn, cos you’ll need to get used to it when you rot in hell!
Feel the bum, cos you’ll need to get used to it when you rot in hell!
Feel the Byrne (whoops – just puked on my pute)
[thinks] “I now the only way back to the Cabinet now is to be Lord Mandelson’s ‘rent boy’, but it is a tough decision to weigh up – maybe going for a walk will help me clarify the dilemma in my mind..”
Purnell was one of many MPs involved in a political scandal following the disclosure of expenses of Members of the United Kingdom Parliament. Purnell told the parliamentary authorities that his main home was in Manchester and claimed the “second home” allowance for his flat in London. In October 2004, Purnell sold his London flat but told HM Revenue and Customs it was his “principal home”, not his “second home”. A spokesman on behalf of Purnell said that “Any allegation that James avoided capital gains tax is completely untrue.
Ooh the bare cheek!
you have mastered cut and paste.
well done retard.
gold star.
Lady boy
said the lesbian zionist nazi.
said the raging nancy boy (Ind.)
Dr Mick
You seem to have an unhealthy appetite for same sex fantasies. Is there anything you would like to share with the group other than your pathetic attempts at hilarity?
No need to answer. We’ve heard all your drivel before.
Do keep trying to entertain us all though this blog wouldn’t be the same without its resident toilet licker.
said the homophobic lesbian zionist nazi.
you could not make this fucking shit up.
you couldn’t though, could you?
Well you seem to be able to!
well I do offer the most interesting and plausible narrative, innit.
“N.B. If you like what you see, he is back on the market ladies…”
This may come as a surprise to Chris Bryant.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00ls7h7/Death_of_Respect_Episode_1/ should be watched by all and Purnell is as much to blame as Balls on this one;http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8155081.stm but ho hum and have a great 12 weeks off ( What do’s Guido do in this time LOL?)
I just got out.
And aren’t you in a strop.
But you only went in ten minutes ago – why so soon?
I thought 10-2 was the time, but then I realised it’s only ten to one…
I’d have worn my trousers but I had to use them for wiping shit on the walls back at the flat.
Doesn’t look a happy bunny does he, bless…..
GUIDO, surely to go with the James ‘Photoshop’ Purnell theme, you could spice up the caption competition for a whole week, by adding pictures of famous world leaders and the ‘stars of stage and screen’ ?
Signed, Sacha Baron Cohen..
O/T, but this is serious!
If you are as keen as I am to see Bliar assume the Presidency of the EU, you might like to visit:
http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/stopblair/signatures.html
Required viewing. Hague at his very best.
Am I the only one who thinks the Tories would be further ahead than they are if Hague were in Cameron’s shoes?
I do! I’m a big fan of Hague.
Hague is the most impressive performer in the Tory ranks – also being a Northerner and not a public school boy blunts Labour’s class warfare.
Totally agree. Move over Camerhoon.
Absolutely brilliant!!
Hague was a man before his time. Sadly.
There I’ve signed it.
But in truth I don’t want a President of Europe at all . It’s just another unnecessary expense for an already expensive white elephant.
Aye.
I concur.
Much as I detest Bliar I cannot POSSIBLY sign that petition.
Its complaint is that he is not sufficiently committed to further integration and HE IS NOT ‘EUROPEAN’ ENOUGH!!!
Now, if Nigel Farage were in the frame, I’d vote for him, or for anyone who might bring down this expensive house of cards. Faute de mieux, Bliar might even be that man………but, given his slippery character, how do we know?
“The loneliness of the long distance runner”
Have we met?
I think we may have been introduced by Alan Sillitoe.
Following the death of Michael Jackson, Purnell practices his moonwalking skills.
James hated the new ministerial dress code for meetings with Lord Mandelson.
Crikey, that’s good!
Thought only bloody public school boys went in for de-bagging
They do. He’s just been to tea with Blair, Falconer and Mandelson.
How about:
“News in Briefs – Labour glad to see back of Purnell”
or
“Purnell’s shorts spell in the Cabinet”
or
“Purnell’s speedo return to the backbenches, party rejoices”
or
“Sod it, I’ll photoshop the tracksuit on later!”
or
“Purnell returns to Government – as Chris Bryant’s SPAD!”
I don’t run my opinions past Obama’s or Cameron’s worldview, so what they think or what position they might wish to claim is neither here nor there. Sure, I can identify with the Prime Minister on a personal level because we have similar rare personality types, and that can be seen in echoes of policy and personality but, what? I’ve kept it quiet but my interest in politics has been nuked over the past few months and who cares what the “smart mob” thinks. Yeah, we’ve got a recession on but I’ve got some stuff fixed in my own life and some external stress has lifted, and I FEEL GOOD. Yeah, baby. Rockin’. Well, let’s not get carried away. I feel fine. No, I FEEL GOOD. And Gordon Brown makes me feel happy cuz he’s the best. So there, nyeh.
~wibble~
“because we have similar rare personality types”
Ain’t that the truth.
Personality disorders?
One eyed Scottish loser Gordon Brown said yesterday, ‘I knew there was a recession coming, but I couldn’t tell how far away it was…’
Wrong eye as usual
Oops!
Pound falls as IMF warns of ‘dramatic deterioration’ in UK finances
http://www.citywire.co.uk/Adviser/-/news/market-and-shares/content.aspx?ID=349958
Charlie, what did you do with Uncle Peter’s pills – the ones he takes for his little probelm? Have you hidden them again you naughty boy?
Arse
Leave it aht! ‘E ain’t werf it!
Fat Tory troffers can’t run
Chill out TAT
you called?
broke and jobless you useless fucking c’unt.
get off your fat arse, go to a work agency and get a fucking job.
when you have done that and have got a few quid behind you, then and only then will you be in a postition to even mention my name in passing.
you useless fat fuck.
oh and obviously 12.54pm is not me you fucking moron.
12.54 seems to be brain damaged whereas I am a genius.
suck it up motherfucker.
takes one to know one, how’s life on the dole treating you TAT?
fuck off dole boy.
you fucking scrounging c’unt.
have you got a disability that prevents you from working?
nah, you’re just a lazy c’unt, innit.
obviously if you have got a disability I fully retract that last bit.
still friends?
Number of Labour Life Peers in the Lord: 210
Number Labour Life Peers who were elected by the party: 2
you tories don’t have a prayer, do you — so sad, so very very sad.
Fictional characters are not allowed on this blog. So fuck off!
You imposter
Prayer affects only the state of mind of the person praying.
In any case, even if it had objective effect, prayer would not be necessary to achieve the final crushing of the UK’s third experiment with socialist centralisation. After the next GE Britain need never again suffer from the delusions of these spendthrift ideologues whose deranged nostrums have failed so spectacularly and at such cost.
Three strikes (sic – a specialism of the socialist ‘worker’) and you’re out, for ever.
“N.B. If you like what you see, he is back on the market ladies…”
Spelling corrections
Laddies
Labour MP’s having to get themselves to work on foot after all expenses claims were banned.
James isn’t very enthusatic about his new job as a dancer at the gay bar.
“My other policy is all mouth”
Must be the winner!
James Purnell – the new face of Immac
I haven’t read J K Rowling’s books, but I have watched the movies. Her donation to Labour was a masterstroke, and her stories contain a lot of strategy. Understanding strategy is key to success, self-development, and so forth. They’re a useful study for any aspiring General, CEO, or President.
Yes I have also seen the films and all I can say is that British Child actors are shit.
As for the other stuff Charles, I’ll take your word for it.
Labour List may have a weakness for page hits but there’s enough people here now that it doesn’t need stray trolls to boost traffic.
Charles Hardwidge @ 5:23 pm, Tue 26th May 2009
By jove charles I,ve got it. By donating to the Labour party JK Rowling re directed Money from the right of centre middle classes into the coffers of the left of centre middle classes.
Fucking brilliant.
Meanwhile back on the farm how does that help me. A lower working class scumbag?
So, you have not read any of her childrens books but they are “full of strategy?”
Charles, if you know that the candle is fire, then the meal was cooked sometime ago.
I haven’t read Shakespeare, but I’ve seen The Forbidden Planet a couple of times, which is based on The Tempest. Same fing, innit?
Yeah. Itz gr8 bein intellectual.
I haven’t read Shakespeare’s books, but I’ve watched The Forbidden Planet, which is apparently like “The Tempest”.
Gr8 watchin’ films insted of readin’ books, innit? Very Labour.
X L ent. No dummin dahn.
Purnell attempts to impress Gordon’s boyzone by demonstrating the use of a tradesman’s entrance
lol
Best so far.
James Purnell caught taking the election race abit too literally.
Dear All
Purnell in training for city job after next General Election result.
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
Where was my invite? Miserable bastard.
Dear All
Purnell starts sprint training in case voters turn ugly.
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
Purnell MP ‘inconsolable’ after fridge magnets take a battering on the Stock Exchange
Dear All
Purnell returns to Westminister after audition for drag act fails.
Yours sincerely
George Laird
the Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
Dear All
Purnell issues a statement to HM Customs on Capital Gains Tax.
‘You can whistle and try and catch me’!
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
Dear George,
Please respect our human rights by not posting such drivel.
Victoria’s Secret…….ssssshhhhhhh.
Dear All
Purnell trials speed begging in City of London pilot.
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
…..James knew exactly what steps to take to prevent Balls from moving.
Dear All
James Purnell returns dejected from porno audition head down after forgetting paper bag.
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
Dear All
James Purnell is forced back into training as he declares ‘Westminister is full of ugly old cows’.
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
Keep going son, you are bound to fall across one semi literate & semi humourous caption soon.
Don’t give in.
Dear Old Trout
I never give in!
An example of that was me trying to save an elderly woman on a bus who had a heart attack.
I took charge as the passengers either did nothing or bolted. The driver stood about doing nothing too.
It is not in my nature.
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow
“Keep going son, you are bound to fall across one semi literate & semi humourous caption soon.”
I wouldn’t bet on it.
No, no, no give up and fuck off
Dear Sue
Have you washed this morning?
I detect an odour of bullshit.
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
Perhaps your nose is too close to your arse Laird?
Maqboul
The next bus will be five minutes
jump right on it
and fuck right off
you’re a total twat
Comedy gold George, comedy gold.
His crappy career over and after failing the audition for Life On Mars, Purnell tries to enter the Lords by disguising himself as Seb Coe.
Purnell photographed visiting secret gift shop, no more than 2 mp’s allowed in at any one time and a strict dress code to prevent trousering.
Governments ‘Get fit, get running’ campaign is lambasted as MP is found to have ‘photoshopped’ the evidence of his ‘do as I do’ mantra
“Must keep up the training – getting to Number 10 is a marathon and not a sprint”
Purnell limps back to his office after being rogered by Gordon Brown at No 10!
James Purnell enjoying his new job as leg double for Brad Pitt.
Dear All
James Purnell returns home after being thrown out of cute baby competition after forgetting nappy and rattle.
He says; ‘ it is not a second job’!
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
Purnell: Hello Peter, nice day out!
Mandy: James, you shouldn’t go jogging with change in your pockets
Purnell: But I haven’t got any pockets Peter…
Mandy: Oooooh shoot me ducky!
Bryant: Peter, you can see your reflection in his legs! So smooth..
Mandy: I don’t have a reflection dear! Ooooooooh etc
Alan Duncan: James, James, if these shorts get any tighter you’ll be able to join my choir
Oooh, you are awful! …but I like you.
“Purnell goes to congratulate Chris Bryant on his piss poor Question Time performance dressed to thrill”
Yeah, that head has definitely been photoshopped onto the body! Purnell was tied up on the cabinet room table getting a forced crack and sack wax by Winky!
“Im your Venus, I’m your fire, your desire.” The Hoon looks like he shaves his legs!
Labour MP fries genitals after urinating on live lamp post.
Hoping ‘Jock Itch’ will gain him preferment in cabonet?
Anyone need seriously cheering up?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1200114/Cherie-Blair-suffering-swine-flu.html
I thought swine flu was suffering Cherie Blair?
Poor swine flu has been told to rest up until gets bored with the lack of publicity and fucks off. Scientists are trying to develop a vaccine to stop you preaching socialism from your mansion and money grabbing, which should help.
Nothing trivial I hope??
Love the ‘arrowing’ results.
Does she have a toll booth by that gob?
Indeed. A Booth toll booth, in fact.
Luton and Leicester are reported as hot-spots for swine flu. They also have large Muslim populations.
Could any of the many mullahs who post here enlighten me – what does a devout Muslim do when he catches a disease that is clearly haram? Is it already being touted as a CIA plot to damage their religion?
For that matter, what do the Stamford Hill hard men of Judaism do under the same circs?
Not the most important of issues facing a world in which cowardly NuLab MPs have allowed a harmless autistic Englishman to be deported to the USA for decades of gaol, but the sight of people counting angels on pinheads has always amused me.
And in related news, EU food legislation permits the use of unlabelled food proteins to allow water-injected chicken bits to hold together. Manufacturers use DNA-stripped proteins from pigs and cows (cheapest) in chicken portions which are subsequently sold to restaurants and fast food manufacturers, including large numbers of Indian restaurants, which are owned by and sell food to, amongst others, Hindus and Muslims.
They’re DNA-stripped to prevent their identification.
As long as the fact of the proteins is declared, the specific source can be concealed. Now that’s seriously good EU law innit?
Is this where all the cocks hang out?
Guido, think your info is out of date- he’s most definitely taken:
http://www.newstin.co.uk/tag/uk/119344688
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1176935/Purnells-domestic-goddess.html
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/media/press/the-feral-beast-hencke-finds-new-dirt-to-dig-1704584.html
I obviously need to get out more into the sad celebrity worshiping culture but can somebody tell me what this is all about? Who the fucking hell is the bloke and why should I (or the ladies) be interested?
He was a cabinet minister mate, that’s all. What you need to do is work out who’s running the country you’re living in, spending the taxes your paying and representing you abroad. When your Playstation divorces you.
Thank you Simon, if you must know I’m too old for a Playstation and spent my youth enjoying much better pleasures than pathetic little things like that.
The reason I asked is because I wasn’t sure about the figure being Purnell, I’ve only ever seen the guy in a suit and full face portrait photo and I am well aware of that lizard-lipped bastard. Oh and all the other Ministers etc that supposedly run this cesspit of a country. From the photo angle the guy has more of a resemblence to Gordon Ramsey or perhaps Beckham. One thing I do know, it’s certainly not Prescott!
Sorry Porky, was just being an anorak and suspected you of ZanuLabour sympathies
Dunno, mate. We’re all trying to guess.
Piss poor Gladstone lookalike.
Workhouses and Brown’s Contingency Funds.
Unsanitary fecker.
You want Balls? I’ll give you balls……
I’m sure this’ll get Mandelbum’s attention…..
‘Popes fall broken by naked alter boy’
Didn’t Sarah Brown meet the pope not long ago?
It’s the Curse I tell ye.
that three ‘hail sarahs’ for you my lad
Get yourself round here now!
I don’t think Popes have altered boys for over a century now – at least, not for the purposes of maintaining their singing voices if you judge by the lamentable standard of today’s choral work in St Peter’s.
And the altar boys there are middle-aged priests. All very confusing.
“Fuck I left my wallet at Mandy’s house again”
Call me Jimmy. Nobody else does.
Fuck you Jimmy.
Are you talking to me?
No, I’m writing to you.
Man in silly shorts wishes he was young again.
Unremarkable
Look, Gordon, I’m not standing against you. OK? Now come out here and give me my fucking trousers back!
IN THE BACK ENTRANCE YOU POP
WE HAVE ABOLISHED BOOM AND BUST
I see that he is headed for the correct gateway….OUT.
MP’s left foot shagged by amicable grey rabbit.
I really must avoid those Pimms & Guinness evenings with Guido…where the hell are my trousers?….
Trousers and socks taken off allowed expenses list.
Typical NuLiebour twonk …. in through the out gate …. or has he been ‘outed’ ?
The Telegraph scares the pants off another MP.
The Tories have tried to frame Labour as authoritarian while appealing to the gallery, and the Green affair is just another play on that.
You’re trying to lay on a tighter and tighter perspective but those are your words not mine. I’d give up. You’ll only strangle yourself into nothing.
There’s a lot of grandstanding and populism in here but I’ve, mostly, ignored it so “THE RAGE” ends up painting itself into a corner.
A gift declined is a gift for who?
A gift correctly declined is “a gift for whom“.
Shouldn’t it be “declined correctly”?
What’s the punchline honky?
It’s no joke mate. Fuckwidge is the blogging equivalent of tumbleweed blowing through a deserted town.
Comment like yours is just more of the same claims and kicking someone up the ass. It’s pure trolling and flamebait: unaccountable wind-up. It’s illogical and selfish – the politics of ego.
So, you can cut the bullshit and patronising attitude. It just makes you look a bigger ass.
Still, it’s your karma.
Charles Hardwidge @ 7:59 pm, Mon 16th Feb 2009 on LabourList
You need a good kicking up the kundalini
Since losing his job, Purnell went to pieces and now believes that he’s Bruno…
“Is it a coincidence that all the good people have long hair, like Jesus, and like hippies and, you know, Rod Stewart?”
James Purnell draws the short straw and is first person to take the one way walk to ‘the showers’ under Reichschancellor Brown’s ‘Final Solution’.
Gordon’s very first budget in 1997, concentrates on stability and the long term investment of businesses and people.
So why, after 12 years are we still waiting?
Confirmation, that politicians are there for their own self gratification and POWER. thus was it ever anything else?
full text http://archive.treasury.gov.uk/pub/html/budget97/speech.html
• The dynamic economies of the future will be those that unlock the talent of all their people, and our creativity, our adaptability, our belief in hard work and self-improvement, the very qualities that made Britain lead the world in the 18th and 19th centuries are precisely the qualities we need to make Britain a strong economic power in the 21st century.
• But to achieve this we must address the four weaknesses that have held us back for too long and for too many years – instability, underinvestment, unemployment, and the waste of talent.
• In this Budget I will address each of these weaknesses in turn to ensure stability, investment, work, and opportunity for all.
• It is essential that consumer spending is underpinned by investment and industrial growth.
• Britain cannot afford a recurrence of the all too familiar pattern of previous recoveries: accelerating consumer spending and borrowing side by side with skills shortages, capacity constraints, increased imports and rising inflation.
• Already there are warning signs that this pattern could be repeated. In similar circumstances some of my predecessors have ignored these signs while others have deluded themselves into believing that growth, however unbalanced, was evidence of their success. I will not ignore the warning signs and I will not repeat past mistakes.
• To achieve long-term stability is to achieve something no Government has done for decades.
• But stability is a necessary, not a sufficient, condition for the Government’s objectives of high and stable levels of growth and employment.
Hmm, if only Brown had done like the speech announced, we’d be better off.
A very nice bit of research/disinterment – well done.
Now all we need is a Tory leader who will relentlessly repeat those words day after day, causing Brown’s support (still over 20 per cent, remember!) to shrivel and die.
Instead we’ve got Dave……….
Not to mention the following year’s budget http://archive.treasury.gov.uk/budget/1998/chxstat2.htm which promised:
“Instead of punishing success by high taxation or offering the incentive of low taxation to only a few, the new ambition is a tax system that makes all work pay, that encourages skills and rewards enterprise and entrepreneurship throughout the economy.
For those who build businesses or stake their own hard earned money in them, the long-term [capital gains tax] rate will be reduced even more from 40p to 10p, the lowest rate ever achieved.
This Government today sends a clear signal of support for enterprise to those who invest in the UK. My message to business is – when you are ready to start out, start up, start investing or start hiring – this Government is on your side.”
You couldn’t make it up………..
Bryant- pull your fucking pants up you bent Hunt I am not going to do you doggy fashion in this black hole.
You know I prefer Gordons, you welsh poof now feck off I want to come through not cum too
…And, Purnell came in his shorts, quite a change because he usually comes on the walls of his flat.
claps
Sorry to hear that.
The Scout Association announce their new Chief Scout. Mandy joins & goes for his tea bagging badge.
How many times? I’m the ex Secretary of State for paperclips for Chrissake.
Not Chris “Check My Underpants” Bryant
Jingoism
War cheerleader
Fox News
News International
Murdoch
News of the World
Andy Coulson
Jingosim
Conservative public relations
Coulsongate
Is that your best ? you must be slowing down for the weekend !.
When does the twat ever speed up?
When he’s on the vinegar strokes.
mentioned this before…
many years ago when we used to go camping the campfire had life breathed into it by using a dinner plate and flapping it quickly to blow air across the embers in the vain hope of bringing the fire back to life.
We called it “flapperplating”
Reading MB’s coulsongate shite it took me back years and I would say this is probably the electronic verion of “flapperplating”
Did not really work then and MB proves it still dosent work despite how hard and how long you tried.
LABOURS TRIPLE WHAMMY
VOTE BROWN
GET BROWN BLAIR & MANDELSON’S EUROPEAN SUPER STATE
CARRY ON COMING HERE SAYS ALAN JOHNSON
PLENTY OF RESOURCES AND MONEY
Jeez, last time I saw legs like that they were hanging out of a nest.
Another soldier murdered today.
BROWN HAS ENOUGH TO LIVE ON, WEALTH, POWER, MONEY EXPENSES.
SOLDIERS LAY DOWN THEIR LIVES TO PAY FOR IT.
OT, but in times gone by people would connect those statements in caps. They would say the second was the reason for the first, mediated by a thing called Moloch.
We’re closing in on
benefitexpenses cheats.LABOUR ISN’T WORKING
YOU’RE BETTER OFF WITH THE CONSERVATIVES
NOW OVER 3 MILLION UNEMPLOYED, AT LEAST THOSE THAT SHOW UP ON THE BOOKS.
A TRIP TO THE IMF SOON
DEJA VU?
Dear All
James Purnell would have a heart attack if I smeared his legs in lard.
Yours sincerely
George Lewd
The Campaign for Humane Tights at Glasgow University
Blogger snaps knackered jogger.
Purnell plays poker with Mandy.
Surely pokim?
Somebody is obviously holding a pair of queens.
Twelve people dies of swine flu this months.
So it is safer to be in Helmand in a snatch landrovers than to be an NHS patient in Browns Britan.
Now if that were not so true it would be funny
Who’s joking honky?
Maqboul
Dear Maqboul al Aboula
“Twelve people dies of swine flu this months”
Try;
Twelve people died of swine flu this month.
“So it is safer to be in Helmand in a snatch landrovers than to be an NHS patient in Browns Britan”.
Try;
So it is safer to be in Helmand in a snatch landrover than to be an NHS patient in Brown’s Britain.
Shit spelling there son.
I am still waiting on my kebab and can.
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
You’ll get fat eating kebabs son.
Dear George Lard
“You’ll get fat eating kebabs son”.
Really?
I will have to risk.
Multiculturalism comes first; I am terribly PC.
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
No you’re not.
You are a twat
Fit for purpose – Going forward
That’s Ed Hallam isn’t it?
Bruno visits Browno
Ich bin ein binliner
When a party is marginalised, like the B&P, it tends to only damage itself, but where a party like the Conservatives get power they tend to destroy the country. Some folks will trot out the old equivalence argument and say that Labour is no different but they’d be confusing presentation with substance, and throwing integrity to the wind.
People are attracted to leaders (or the illusion of leadership) and talk up consensus (but are attracted to people like themselves), so their own minds confuse themselves and they act out what they sincerely believe to be true without realising that they’re rowing in entirely the opposite direction. If they were more humble and had a sense of humour they’d get the irony of this and let go.
Labour since 1997 never had any integrity.
In fact they would neither know how to spell it, or understand the meaning of the word.
Give us a break Hawkey…preach to the converted not to those who have a brain and use it.
We need Tebbit back.
On your bike
Look into my eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, don’t look around the eyes, look into my eyes. *click* You’re under!
Charles, what are you trying to say? I read your blogs and they totally confuse me. I know I’m past the first flush of youth, but my brain functions pretty well. The more
rubbish you talk, the more I want to vote Tory. Perhaps that’s your plan! If so, you’ve succeeded.
I’m reasonably sure each sentence of his blathering is selected at random from a list; probably a numbered list of inanities and the selection is made by throwing dice.
Troll and flamebait comments become an issue if they go above about 5%. This is consistent with criminals and nutters in society. Trouble breeds trouble so it’s best to shut it down or shove it out of the way before it takes over the place. That’s pretty much a fact and anyone who says different is lying or doesn’t know what they’re talking about.
Charles Hardwidge @ 8:30 pm, Thu 12th Feb 2009 LabourList
‘If they were more humble and had a sense of humour they’d get the irony of this and let go.’
O, Physician, heal thyself!
Congratulations, you win a prize for the most boring post since September……1999.
Your prize? We’ll defer beating the crap out of you until you show signs of life and intelligence.
James Purnell during his visit to Tameside General Hospital
OR
James Purnell visits his fridge magnet collection at the V & A
OR
James Purnell tries to remember where he lives
Following the collapse of his buy to let potfolio, purnell hoped nobody noticed he was squatting in one of mandys’ unused grace and favour properties
Dear Maqboul al Aboula
“Perhaps your nose is too close to your arse Laird?”
Oh, how wounding of you.
I would like a kebab, salad no sauce and a can of irn bru.
Thanks!
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
Fuck off Laird, I’m too busy rubbing my fat Mr Toad stomach against wee lads whilst pretending my ancient wife actually is my wife!
PURNELL – ‘Labour is living in the past..’
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2009/jul/17/james-purnell-first-interview-labour
Full story in the Graun tomorrow..
He did not run the DWP., Capita runs DWP! They are all incapable of running anything hence the Quango situation.
Dear Dode,
He aint an arab he’s a piss taker.
Just popped on for a bit and saw my old compadre. See Lothian and borders rozzers have been caught poluting the Scottish News and Blogosphere? Naughty…..
Yours sincerely
Jk
traitor practices lamp post dodging techniques.
‘Ere, Derek, I brought you some Special Brew. Now could you move your sleeping bag so I can get past please.
Issue! Big Issue!
Does my knob look big in this?
Does my…
Best on yet.
Attempts to modernise House of Commons dress code go a step too far…
As james purnell continues his brave quest to find the holy grail , he finds himself alone at the gates of the carlton club
JP : Knock knock (a small hatch slides and the doorman asks “who are you and what is your quest”)
JP “i am James purnell , former culture minister and considered to be the cleverist amongs the labour party , my quest is to become labour party leader , make Ed Balls cry and reignite the bring back Blair campaign of olde”
Doorman “I see I think I can help you, the public gents is 3 doors up on your right , stand there with your todger hanging out and you will soon recieve the wisdom that you seek for your quest, tell the attendeant bercow sent you”
Why does Gordon always ask me to come round the back?
Am I really here, or have I just been photoshopped?
Is this the Dole Office?
DONALD WHERE’S YOUR TROOSERS?
The location of my pants is a known known. We know where they are. They’re in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat.
Recess at Jim’s Gym.
The Beast scuttles back to his lair, his impregnating activities being completed in record time.
Royal London Clap Clinic.
Please enter by side door.
This way to the Job centre, sanctions will apply.
Follow me guys…
[...] Friday Caption Competition (Exclusive Purnell Hotpants Edition) N.B. If you like what you see, he is back on the market ladies… [...]
It is a fact that in poor economic times, skirts get shorter.
(Thinks) I’ve got to get a new pair of shorts – these are squeezing my Eds.
l think he is trying to catch Dales attention
” I hope I haven’t ‘stretched the elastic to breaking point’…” !
Mr whippy said if I spoke out Gordon would have the shirt of my back, I did not see Chris Bryant lurking in the shadows.
Purnell, reduced to modelling sportswear, creeps into the photo-shoot by the tradesmen’s exit.
118? BOLLOCKS!
(Christ! they’re freezin’!)
One for the sort-sighted.
So now,as I walk to the bondage chamber that is No.10,there will be Brown to the front of me and Mandelson to the rear of me….I am completely buggered now…two evil men running this once great country.
What a posh public convenience!
[cue bananarama music..]
“I’m Guility [guilty] of a fuck-up in the first degree.”
Mandelson always enters via the rear entrance !
”…has the elastic stretched beyond the point where I am being true to myself?”