July 15th, 2009

Guido Summer Drinks

Guido is off for a month to the Maison Secondaire. Planning to have drinks on Thursday at an undisclosed Westminster location.

Email for details / invite…


449 Comments

  1. 1

    ### Charles_E_Hardwidge ###

    CPU BOREDOM OVERFLOW

    • 8
      Dr. Oliver Sackrace says:

      Charles, I see many patients with your condition – extremis twatis.
      Many find they are able to manage this affliction by joining the blog at imsuchatotaltwatevenmymumdoesntlikeme.com.
      I think you will feel at home there.

    • 11

      Dear Charles

      Try jerking off into a crisp poke.

      You are a major bell end.

      Yours sincerely

      George Laird
      The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University

      • 41
        Anonymous says:

        George laddy don’t be a complete McHoon. you’re not that far behind him.

        • 57
          George Laird says:

          Dear Anon

          I read your comment and it didn’t move me.

          I suspect that you are not talented.

          Stick to being a brown noser.

          Yours sincerely

          George Laird
          The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University

      • 54
        George Osborne says:

        George

        you’re still my son – you’re even named after me FFS . Come home and have free wallpapaer for life, times have moved on, no-one cares if you’re my love child.

        • 62
          George Laird says:

          Dear George Osborne

          Read the post.

          Go back to the wallpaper business.

          When is the Wallpaper Council of Great Britain getting a royal charter?

          Yours sincerely

          George Laird
          The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University

        • 74
          George Osborne says:

          Son, glad to see your showing an interest in the family business. As soon as we get the charter I’ll be in touch. We’re asking her highness to approve the wording ” as used in Balmoral and Craigton”

        • 184
          Gideon 'Snort-the-Lot' Osborne Give the cunt a bag of coke and a couple of whores and he's happy says:

          I’m up for doing some acid, did someone say Nell has got a superstash?
          Nell, can I have a couple of double dipped tabs please?
          Are they very strong?

    • 12
      Horatio. I know everything says:

      Dear Charles,

      I see you are still there, waiting with your finger on your button trying to come first in the reply to guido stakes.

      As Ratsniffer says you are a tedious tosser.

      Get a life before life gets you.

      Regards

      Horatio

    • 14
      Sir Michael Shite's rent boy says:

      Charlie Hardcock. How do you like your rent boys? Virgins or well used?

    • 61
      thick as thieves says:

      Guido,
      I will only go if you don’t invite that slag new girl, the old codger/sex pest engineer,
      the fucking tramp steve expet and nell the frigid one.
      if you invite them I am not coming.
      it’s that simple.

      • 95
        nell says:

        tat darling you need to widen your circle. You are only uncomfortable mixing with coherent thoughtful people because you have not met many.

        You would find NewGirl refreshing, Engineer thoughtful and SteveExpat entertaining if you would just but give it a chance.

        • 105
          Engineer says:

          Evening, Nell. Thanks for the kind words.

          Hello, TaT. Right on form, I see!

        • 131
          thick as thieves says:

          are you on acid nell?

        • 147
          nell says:

          Evening tat. Of course not!

          You don’t need to go to that expense.

          Try South Australian Cabernet from Tesco’s. Very reasonably priced. One glass a night works, wonders especially when the kids are being fractious!

        • 156
          Bobby Mugabe. says:

          The last time he widened his “circle” his bowel fell out!

        • 183
          SmogMonster says:

          Of course the kids will be fractious if you only allow them one glass a night.

        • 185
          nell says:

          ++++laugh++++

        • 302
          Steve Expat says:

          Thanks for the compliment nell, I see that the TwAT is back, why can’t the troll fuck off back to his cave??

        • 329
          thick as thieves says:

          you are not invited steve.
          no tramps.

        • 399
          barefootcontessa says:

          Have never entered the dark doors of Tesco’s evil, money grubbing, low down, avaricious excuse for a business.

      • 96

        How will one order the drinks – “hoi, Tatface, ship me in a large schooner of babycham when you get a moment from filling up the bowls of cheese ‘n pineapple chunks, there’s a good chap. By the way, you related to that other overweight bar steward, Prescott?”

      • 100
        Augeas says:

        Come on TaT – I thought you might want to tell them what you thought of them to their faces. SteveExpat will probably not be able to get a plane in time, though.

        • 124
          Carcetti For Mayor says:

          Where in Westminster?

          Just so i know where to avoid on Thursday night.

          Then again if Hardwidge comes along it could be hilarious….

        • 128
          thick as thieves says:

          they don’t let tramps fly do they?
          he would stink the fucking plane out the dirty old tramp!

        • 269
          Steve Expat says:

          As it happens, I might well be in the UK this weekend – unfortunately nowhere near Westminster on Thurdsay evening.

          Well done Guido on another year’s blogging (and a couple of good scalps along the way). A tenner says Dolly won’t be there!

        • 290
          thick as thieves says:

          a tenner!
          fucking hell steve, that’s a half a day’s worth of begging innit?
          nah, you keep that tenner in your pocket steve.
          you’re a tramp, you need that money for cider and cheap vodka.
          you sad fuck.

        • 312
          Steve Expat says:

          About half an hour’s work for me – I think you’re the tramp, don’t trolls live in caves?

        • 333
          thick as thieves says:

          you are on twenty quid an hour and you still can’t afford to live in your own home.
          ah, so you are a crackhead tramp, the millionaire of tramps!
          GO EASY ON THE CRACK MOTHERFUCKER
          maybe if you stopped spending all your money on crack you wouldn’t be a homeless tramp.
          just a thought, happy to help.

      • 122

        Tat, it’s a school night, you know your mum doesn’t let you out.

      • 126
        thick as thieves says:

        actually, I don’t mind if you go nell. you are the best of a bad crop.
        not the others though.
        you really shouldn’t hang out with those wankers nell, they’re a bad crowd.
        but you’re alright.

        • 134
          Dack Blog says:

          fickle as thieves.

        • 140
          Engineer says:

          Aaahhh….infamy….

        • 154
          nell says:

          darling tat – sorry but frigid according to my dictionary means ‘people whose behaviour is formal’- that means I wouldn’t know how to mix with sociable people in a pub.

          lol

          You go tat – enjoy – have a drink on me -and tell guido that I think he’s a great chap!

        • 170
          nell says:

          Obviously my glass of wine has gone to my head. I’ve been modded!!

          It’s your fault tat – I was trying to explain dictionary definitions of ”frigid’
          and something triggered off the modding censor.

          Anyway essentially tat I said ‘have a drink on me’

        • 177
          nell says:

          Laugh out loud!

          Modded twice trying to say something nice to tat.

          OK give up!!

        • 186
          Engineer says:

          :-)

      • 137
        Arian Prole says:

        TaT,

        What makes you think Guido would invite a bore like you.

        • 144
          thick as thieves says:

          everything is relative innit.
          compared to you I am a fucking handsome genius with a good sense of humour.
          you are just an ugly fucking cripple who snipes and bitches.
          you sound like a right fucking c’unt.
          Guido, if this c’unt is invited I am DEFINITELY not going.

        • 153
          Tat spotter says:

          Being in a bar with TaT would be like being in a bar with Begbie. You know its all going to kick off any moment

        • 162
          Arian Prole says:

          Guido,

          After Tat’s comment, I think you owe me an invite with free beer and butties.

        • 169
          Engineer says:

          Think of it as a Right of Passage Adrian – you’re not really a Guido poster until TaT has called you a cripple, or worse!

        • 173

          “ugly fucking cripple who snipes and bitches”

          More projection!

          TaT,

          What disability do you have?

        • 178
          Dack Blog says:

          The UK Government.

        • 194
          thick as thieves says:

          we all have our crosses to bear anticitizen.
          take you for example, you are a complete moron, that is your disability.
          my cross is that it is my duty to carry intellectual cripples like you from your swamp of imbecility across to the stable and peaceful land of enlightenment.
          and I will help you cross the void whether you like it or not c’unt.
          thank me.

        • 197
          Arian Prole says:

          TaT,

          Do you have shares in a crutch/walking stick factory?

        • 209
          TaT Sales Desk says:

          Yes. He see’s you as potential customers.

        • 267
          Troll Basher says:

          TAT, what disability would you like?

        • 275
          The Wild One says:

          What have you got?

        • 276
          Steve Expat says:

          Tat Spotter 153, great comment – from the film that defined a generation!
          With the trolls on here it usually kicks of every night after a couple of glasses of wine…

        • 278

          I wonder what caused TaT to be a cripple?

          Was it illness or maybe an accident? As his confidence is much greater than his ability I’d guess an accident is the cause. Maybe it also caused the brain damage that’s so evident in TaTs many personality disorders?

        • 292
          thick as thieves says:

          spare your cod psychology for someone who gives a fuck.
          retard.

        • 348
          summer_Breeze says:

          Well, tat doesn’t afraid me but I can’t go anyway.
          Have a great holiday Guido and have a drink for me please. Cheers! :-)

        • 353
          Tiny Tim says:

          God bless us, every one

      • 378
        Alibarbs says:

        Does anyone actually care what you think TaT – you’re just a pathetic little keyboard warrior, who would have neither the bottle nor the intellect to debate face to face, and to pretend anything other than that is just laughable.

        All the people you single out (along with about 59,999,995 others in the UK) would have you for breakfast in any kind of reasoned argument, so stop it, you’re just embarrassing yourself.

        • 441
          thick as thieves says:

          I AM TOP BOY YOU ARE JUST A WANKER!
          FUCK OFF WANKER!
          note to conservativefoam: we have found another one of your cripples.
          please come and collect.
          thankyou.

    • 365

      The Labour group has THREE members. Let’s show them how many of us are voting Conservatives.

      http://keeprightonline.com/im-voting-conservative

    • 449
      Biffo says:

      Fuck off Charles! Guido, have a great time over in France. Safe journey to yourself, the little Fawkes & Mrs F.

  2. 2
    kick one they all limp says:

    Have one for me Guido !

    • 63
      Mark Oaten says:

      Will the GE be delayed for 5 years in Health scare?

      http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8150609.stm

      • 83
        Moley says:

        The difficulty with working out mortality rates is that without immunological surveillance of the whole population, no one knows how many people have been affected.

        I think it highly likely that infection rates are far higher than is assumed, and that in a large number of people the disease is unremarkable.

        There were two cases at my daughter’s school with over 1000 pupils, and the school closed for a week. Even the most conservative guesses would assume that there must have been fifty to one hundred subsequent cases, the school has now reopened without any evident problems.

        The disease is obviously still circulating in the school and the local population.

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    Invitation = Noun
    to invite = Verb
    Drives me mad that!

  4. 4
    Ratsniffer says:

    Christ Charles give it a rest – you’re a tedious tosser at the best of times. This is a thread about Guido’s pre-holiday piss-up, and you’re trying to turn it into another NuStalin speech.

    Have a relaxing holiday, Guido, don’t open that lap top too often or you’ll have the Mrs giving you grief….

    • 10

      The reality, as far as I can judge, is the media are being selective and running flags up poles, and the usual suspects start barking like mad dogs. We know who they are. Meanwhile, the opposition benches can’t believe their luck as a wind of hysteria favours their ship.

      But, do any of these people withstand a long and cool policy and character analysis? I don’t think so. And that’s why focusing on goals and delivery is important. It cuts through that noise.

      Now that that’s settled, I’m off to listen to a rousing Callaghan speech. Laters. LOL

      • 18
        What Charles Hardwidge Really Believes says:

        Charles Hardwidge @ 4:35 am, Sat 2nd May 2009 on LabourList

        Maybe, like Gordon Brown, I can be too concerned with proper form and not want to be drawn into petty squabbling but I have no problem with slamming people into the ground and raping them in the ass if that’s what it takes.
        [Cameron is] full of bullshit and nasty as they come. Smashing the bully’s face in will crack his image. It won’t take too long before people see him for what he is and all his so-called friends will melt away.

        • 24
          Anonymous says:

          Hardwidge is a bore, but it takes a particular kind of bore to sift through all his propaganda posts. GET A LIFE PEOPLE

        • 55
          Brownian motion says:

          “Smashing the bully’s face in”

          “raping them in the ass”

          Very Zen.

      • 47
        Brownian motion says:

        You dull dull man.

      • 50
        Siberian Tory says:

        Upset the Coulson thing came to naught?

        Thought so.

  5. 5
    The Admiral says:

    Goodbye Guido. Hope you’ll survive….

  6. 6
    Sir William Waad says:

    Have a flipping good time at your second home!

  7. 13
    So17 says:

    I wouldn’t go to a party that would have me as a guest.
    An absolute crashing bore when drunk,and always on the mump for food.
    Tired tales from a not so glorious career as a Custodian at the Palace.
    Also me prostate is playing up so I would spend half me time in the bog.
    And I’m a bit of a dirty old man as well so will end up getting slapped.
    Did I tell you i’m broke as well?
    Have a nice holiday and bless you for giving us a voice.

  8. 15
    Obnoxious Pissed Gatecrasher says:

    If Charles is going,count me out!

  9. 16
    • 51
      Tin Cunliffe-Arsely says:

      My My. That would be the first time anyone did anything in a renault factory in the summer months.

    • 58

      Could the Frenchies come over and disrupt ports this side of La Manche and give the home grown lilly fuckwit Hunts a training course?

      The first time I saw French farmers spraying crap on government premises I knew there was a God. If I had a tractor and silage combination I would.

      • 77
        Tin Cunliffe-Arsely says:

        So you’d like twice as many crap laws, unbelieveable taxes and red tape, and lots of featherbedded industries.

        Its like 1973. But with better weather and no noddy holder. just Sarko, who says “oui oui” to all their crap demands (“we want more fish”).

      • 360
        Farmer Giles says:

        Fuck silage, sewage is the answer. That’ll give the fuckers something to think about!

        I hope the frenchies go for it. Imagine if that would have happened at Leyland DAF, MG Rover, TVR, etc?

        At least it SHOWS how really pissed off they are. We’re far too fucking pliant.

  10. 17
    mitch says:

    Watch gordon get busted for felching with a brace of ferrets while your away.

  11. 19
    Trough Mixture says:

    I should have liked to join you at the Westminster hostelry. Sadly I have turned into a right miserable misery since being these 2 years on the waggon ( I can’t watch folk sup), so I’ll wish you a happy tippling and a cracker of a break.

    Laissez les Bontempis roullez…..

    • 116
      Dack Blog says:

      Hmmm… fun or longevity… fun or longevity… I reckon if things feel bad now they’re going to feel super-shit when you’re old. I intend to do a ‘Harold and (specifically) Maude’ before my time comes.

  12. 20
    So17 says:

    If you post up a photo of Gordon Browns face next to a Baboons arse,that should keep us all going for a month.

  13. 21
    Ewanme Botha says:

    LOL !!

    You buyin Guido , hun ????

    I might come for a quick half ….

    ….gallon , that is .

    E x .

    • 22
      Anon says:

      Are you NewGirl in disguise?

      • 26
        Ewanme says:

        FFS Anon , petal !!!

        Are you anonymouse in disguise ??? No , I ain’t fuckin NewGirl . She’s some hairy-arsed builder from Chingford , honey x .

        BTW Guido – I’ll bring a jumbo bag of pestachios .

        E x .

        • 76
          thick as thieves says:

          I said you would have to use a different name didn’t I new girl?
          and your post is in itself an admission on your part that new girl had become a boring, chattering nasty old whore with PMT.
          who the fuck would want to hang out with a bitch like that eh?
          you have been bashed into a submissive pulp by the great and victorious thick as thieves.
          how’s it feel?
          lplease tell me what it is like to have your skull caved in because like with the modding thing, it has never happened to me.
          WELL IT WOULDN’T WOULD IT I’M TOP BOY FOR FUCKS SAKE!
          AND YOU ARE TORY SCUM! FUCK OF NEW GIRL YOU WANKER!
          FUCK OFF TO CONSERVATIVEFOAM RIGHT NOWYOU FUCKING TORY CRIPPLE
          AND TAKE YOUR CRIPPLE MATES WITH YOU SP@ASTIC!
          WHAT A FUCKING RETARD.
          there, we are slowly but surely getting rid of a dross around here.
          excellent.

        • 110
          Dack Blog says:

          You might ruin your McQueen-ish good looks with all that scowlng.

        • 133
          Ewanme says:

          LMAO !!

          E x .

        • 139
          thick as thieves says:

          nah.

        • 148
          thick as thieves says:

          ewanme,
          all that abbreviation stuff makes you sound like a paedophile trying to groom children on the internet.
          stop doing it you creepy c’unt.

        • 150
          Ewanme says:

          **Giggle**

          See ya at the drinks party then TAT an I’ll slap ur bald head an marvel at ur withered frame , petal x .

          Ewanme x .

        • 158
          Ewanme says:

          Hmmm .

          Ur thoughts , not mine , hun x .

          Dunno where ur at but I wouldn’t wanna go there .

          I’m refreshinly normal , thank fuck .

          Try gettin out a bit !!

          Later E x .

        • 171

          Is TaT a paedophile? I think so, as projection is key to his posts.

        • 181
          Sir William Waad says:

          Surely paedos have more class?

        • 195
          Don't kill youself, TAT says:

          I say this in the kindest way possible, TAT: you are not intelligent enough to be so abnormal and you are not funny enough to be so insulting.

          Get help. Please.

        • 198
          thick as thieves says:

          that old projection chestnut is wearing a bit thin anticitizen.
          and the mention of paedophiles certainly piqued you interest.
          you stomach churning c’unt.

          ewan,
          seriously, you sound like a nonce.
          fuck off childcatcher.

        • 216
          Ewanme says:

          Jeez TAT , hun x .

          I ain’t no nonce but you , seriously sound like some sorta ponce , petal .

          Ain’t you guys got jobs to go to ???

          Do ya just sit around fartin at each other all day ????

          No wonder the economy is goin down the bog . Everyone’s watchin for Guido’s latest utterance .

          We ain’t gonna beat the Chinese or the Tallyban by starin at our screens , honey .

          Get off ur fat arses an DO SOMETHIN .

          E x .

        • 241
          thick as thieves says:

          I am doing something you c’unt.
          I am chasing childcatchers and tory milksnatchers like you outta town!
          now fuck off.

        • 274
          Troll Basher says:

          Tat, I’m gonna smack yor head in if you turn up at the drinky po­os party. Then am gonna b­um ya.

  14. 25
    Dame Sybil Crumb says:

    Do you serve sherry?

  15. 27
    resurgemus says:

    The man running the country says:

    Lord Mandelson has said the prospects of a newly re-elected Labour government seeking to join the European single currency were “not strong”.

    He also said there would be future public spending cuts and efficiency savings as the government sought to rebalance public finances.

  16. 30
    jgm2 says:

    OT

    Lord Darzi quits. Another rat abandons the sinking ship.

    • 34
      More Tories Please says:

      Rat abandoning a sinking ship? Surely not, merely investing in an alternative buoyancy opportunity.

      • 39
        Anon says:

        The last thing that is required is more of the same dyed in the wool fuckwits running the country. Less Tories please.

        Vote B&P and give the whole political establishment a sharp pain in the rectum they could well do without.

        Schadenfreude is something best served cold.

        Fuck ‘em all.

        • 45
          resurgemus says:

          Schadenfreude kann nicht gegessen werden.
          Von Sozialismus in seinen vielen Gestalten haben wir die Schnauze voll.
          Ein Partei mit einem einaeuguigen Fuerher ist nicht zu waehlen.

        • 49
          Anon says:

          I know that gloating may not be eaten under subsection 2.vi.a (Labour code of condition to live) but, you know what, fuck ‘em!

        • 364
          Es reicht aber so weit darf es nicht gehen says:

          Yes, resugemus, that would be self-harm. Cut off the nose to spite the face. Socialism in all its guises Nationalist or Socialist (Choose your word order) is mega crap.

      • 46
        Lord Mandy says:

        I love a Plimsoll line on my lilly white ass!

        • 56
          Chap from Brazil says:

          And to think I fell for that line

        • 59
          jgm2 says:

          Did you ever get the taxpayers to buy you that Maserati?

        • 78
          Lord Mandelson EU Stooge and all round cocksucking whore says:

          Yes, we go dogging in it every Friday evening.
          It really draws a crowd when I am rimming the arse of my boyfriend.
          I suck his cock and rim his arsehole and then he fucks me and then people stick their hands in the windows and then….(editor says: that is quite enough of that you dirty slut. I think we get the picture Peter.)

    • 43
      Trough Mixture says:

      Perhaps some ken-it-all cuunt questioned his clinical judgement?

    • 101
      Grumpy Old Man says:

      Only Admiral Lord north of Gordon’s patsy’s left now. how ;ong till it’s “goodby sailor” ?

      • 381
        Captain Pugwash says:

        Not fucking soon enough.
        How the fuck he ever got to be an admiral is beyond me.
        The man is a complete joke, a disgrace to the naval uniform.

  17. 35
    resurgemus says:

    Is it just a coincidence that Kevin Maguire is on holidays as the phone hacking story is spun ?

    Convenient he’s not around.

    • 40
      Anon says:

      Who is Kevin Maguire?

    • 73
      Kevin Maguire's Mum says:

      No, you’re not

    • 111
      nell says:

      I’ve never heard of Kevin M*guire – is he anyone of importance?

      There’s a Kai.McQui’r who is collector of the night soil in a little provincial town close to the Great Wall of China – would he be the same person?

      • 123
        Kevin Maguire says:

        I am very important.

      • 146
        Engineer says:

        Kevin M*cGuire – Mirror journalist (of sorts – Guido’s words). VERY close to the Nulab bunker.

        So yes, the two people you mentioned deal with very similar substances….

        • 284
          Steve Expat says:

          Did you just say “Mirror” and “Journalist” next to each other?

        • 297
          thick as thieves says:

          I suppose you prefer the telegraph steve.
          the tramps paper of choice, because it is bigger and I bet it really keeps you warm in the winter.
          you clever bloody for a tramp steve. but not clever enough to be able to afford to live in your own home though.
          you dopey c’unt!

    • 142
      A Monier says:

      He’s spending two weeks in a pissoir at san tropez.

  18. 37
    kick one they all limp says:

    SKY news Lord darzi stepping down Another one bites the dust !

    • 44
      Anon says:

      How very principled. Stick with the wankers until there is no future for their own skin.

      Fuck ‘em.

    • 53
      Anonymous says:

      No, he’s becoming the ‘Health Ambassador’. That way he gets to keep the sweetening perks and stays quiet.

      • 64
        jgm2 says:

        Just read the BBC story. Four out of five of his ‘Government of all talents – GOATS’ jumped ship in 18 months. No wonder the Labour liars are quiet about Boris’s local problems with some of his appointments.

        • 109

          Not a bit of it, Boris’ problems and the “chicken feed” shit is doing the rounds at LabourPist HQ – get over there and join in the fun!

          Beware, they get offended at the drop of a hat.

        • 176
          jgm2 says:

          I refuse to dignify Labourlist with a ‘hit’. Preaching to the brain-dead anyway. Their minds firmly closed to reality. Discombobulated by the shit-storm of facts pointing to the inconvenient truth that their chosen one has fucked the entire economy and their chosen party has established all the framework of a police state.

          Jackasses, man and boy.

        • 189
          Dr Feelgood says:

          So what. No one reads LabourList except for a few die-hards, journos and people like us looking for ammo.

        • 288
          Steve Expat says:

          LiebourLost – I’m sure they place references here just so they can say they had a few visitors to the advertisers at the end of the month!

        • 330
          Michael Corleone says:

          Hello.
          Keep your friends close,and your enemies closer!

    • 60
      resurgemus says:

      What odds Adonis ?

      Hissy fit if he doesn’t get his £ 8 billion.

    • 120
      nell says:

      How many GOATS left ? I’m not sure how many he appointed.

      But expect Lord West the former Sea Lord and current Security Minister to go soon – gordon’s policy on Afghanistan is causing waves of dismay especially amongst those who have served in the Forces.

      Problem is , as they are now finding out, gordon is too arrogant to listen to seasoned and reasoned council.

      Gordon is on a bender to destruction.

  19. 70
    varsteiner says:

    I am fucking furious. We had eight servicemen repatriated today, huge crowds at Wootton Bassett, and although it was the lead on BBC news they moved on quickly to other stories.

    May I say – FUCK YOU GORDON BROWN, FUCK THE WHOLE FUCKING LOT OF THE 646Hunts IN WESTMINSTER, FUCK YOU BBC – there are a lot of devastated families out there, you deserve a similar miisery that you have inflicted on these families with this illegal war.

    • 75
      jgm2 says:

      For the record I was all for the war in Afghanistan although I would wish it to have been pursued on Sep 12 2001 with thermo-nuclear missiles.

      It would have been over by mid-day on the same day.

      • 135

        You sound like a Bush. How would nuking a country help anyone FFS?

        • 163

          Nuking Hiroshima and Nagasaki caused Japan to surrender without having to invade. This saved countless allied soldiers lives.

        • 165
          jgm2 says:

          It would have sent a timely message to the Religion of Peace.

          Too late now of course. Oh well. I s’pose we’ll just have to leave it to the Israelis to do the dirty work for us.

        • 188
          jgm2 says:

          It also saved countless Japanese lives. But what do the WWII history revisionists care.

          There is a reason Tokyo wasn’t nuked. It was so that Emporer Hirohito could be popped into a bus and driven on down and have it explained to him in Japanese by Japanese people that this was just one fucking bomb and that maybe, just maybe he should consider surrendering.

          Something he’d find difficult to do if he was a rock shadow in Tokyo.

          But as ever with these history revisionists and armchair pacifist bedwetters they have to assume the worst of intentions on the part of the home team.

      • 167
        Afghan Civilians says:

        You’re a fucking twat

        • 174
          jgm2 says:

          And you are most fortunate that George Bush figured there was more money in reconstruction and Saudi oil money to be had than just giving y’all a several hundred thousand degree lesson in geo-politics.

          But you’ll doubtless be spending your time hopping your thick skull off the ground and thanking your imaginary friend.

        • 187
          The Rest of the World says:

          The Afghans are right – you really are a total fucking twat.

        • 190
          jgm2 says:

          Again, I must thank you for your kind words. Do remember them in another few years when your grandchildren are scratching their heads wondering why we’re still fighting wars with the Religion of Peace.

          Why didn’t you just nuke the fuckers when you had a competetive advantage nuke-wise granddad and we could have avoided all this shit?

          Eh?

          Eh?

        • 202
          thick as thieves says:

          you’re a fucking idiot.
          fuck off wanker.
          got your tin hat have you jmp2braincells? well put it on c’unt and get yourself to the front line.
          if not then keep your fucking mouth shut you piece of shit.
          you fucking coward.
          shut your mouth dog.

        • 204
          jgm2 says:

          Now, now TaT. No need to get excited. You’ll break out in capital letters if you’re not careful.

      • 196
        Dr Feelgood says:

        For a change, disagree with you here jgm2 old chap. While I too support the concept of the Afghan war, that’s exactly what Al-Q would have liked. They find it easy enough to justify any atrocity as it is – and win the anti-US support of the left like Galloway.

        The mistake the US have made in the War on Terror is the huge amount of collateral damage. The execution of the campaign in Afghanistan (and Iraq) by both the Bush and Blair/Brown administrations has been mind-bendingly incompetent.

        The big question now is how to prevent an Islamic revolution in Pakistan – that is a very, very scary risk.

        • 220
          thick as thieves says:

          and by occupying Afghanistan we are drawing the enemy into the area and destabilising Pakistan.
          we must withdraw our troops immediatley.
          it is in the national interest.

        • 222
          Armchair General jgm2 says:

          Nuke the bastards!

        • 223
          jgm2 says:

          I know I’m in the minority and I hope I’m proven wrong but nothing I see or hear from the Religion of Peace or its mouthpieces at home or abroad gives me any hope for the future.

          Bin Laden has won. Post S*pt 11 the US had a simple choice. Massive, disproportionate escalation to knock this fuckwittery on the head or expensive, long drawn-out, unwinnable conventional warfare.

          We chose wrong. Meanwhile, as part of the US’s determination not to hand an additional ‘victory’ to the religion of peace by precipitating an economic downturn as a depressed America stayed away from the malls the US started squandering borrowed money like there was no tomorrow. Our home-grown imbecile took that as a cover for himself to start pissing away massive amounts of money too.

          Now we’re bankrupt, the US is bankrupt, and we’re stuck in an unwinnable war by the ‘rules’ we’ve chosen to play by.

          Total clusterfuck.

          Bin Laden must be laughing his cotton socks off.

          And the Saudis. They must be crying with laughter too.

        • 234
          Conservative PPC says:

          May I suggest the best solution might lie somewhere between these two extremes? Just a thought.

        • 244
          thick as thieves says:

          you sound as vague as gordon brown you c’unt.
          if you have a point make it if you don’t fuck off.
          hmm…hold on a minute, ….. clueless wanker, talks in riddles, parents live in occupied Palestine… I’ve got it!
          you are david ‘totallyuselessfuckingHunt’ miliband and I claim my 5 euros!

        • 258
          Conservative PPC says:

          Silly TaT. I’m Conservative, so I’m not paying you anything. We do have a worked through plan for Afghanistan but it is too early for policies. You’ll just have to make a judgement based on our principles.

        • 266
          thick as thieves says:

          and so is david miliband.
          can you see what it is yet? red and blue are all the same.
          here is another one of thick as thieves predictions.
          david cameron will go into iran with the americans.
          plus la change.
          HAD ENOUGH OF WARMONGERING C’UNTS LIKE GORDON AND DAVE?
          VOTE INDEPENDENT VICTORY THROUGH INDEPENDENCE
          BECAUSE YOU CAN’T RELY ON THOSE C’UNTS, NOW CAN YOU?

        • 280
          Conservative PPC says:

          Before I got put on Dave’s A List, I was seriously rooting for a hung parliament and considered standing as an Independent. I understudied Craig Murray for a time – you know the one that promotes an ethical foreign policy. He had a great plan for the *stan countries. Go for the belly-dancers, get them visas and bring them back to the UK. If enough Brits did this the *stanis would be deprived of talent and end up f’ucking themselves, cabinet style. What do you think? Should I renounce Dave and go back to Craig?

        • 299
          thick as thieves says:

          what do I think?
          I think you are a fucking idiot and the independent movement is well shot of a c’unt like you.
          dodgy dave the housing benefit cheat is welcome to you.
          you are an independent reject, wouldn’t pass the board old boy.
          wanker.

        • 304
          Conservative PPC says:

          You disappoint me TaT. I was really hoping for some constructive feedback. I suppose I’d better stay with Dave then.

        • 336
          thick as thieves says:

          that is what I said first time round.
          DOH!

      • 242
        Call me Infidel says:

        People need to know when they are beaten. Take a look at any picture of Berlin in May 1945 to get the idea. As Kilgore says “blow ‘em into the stone age son”

        • 245
          thick as thieves says:

          you are a total lunatic.
          section 3 for you infidel.
          plus ECT, same as doctor dildo.
          it is the only way.

        • 262
          Conservative PPC says:

          TaT, I do think he has a point but I would have preferred Dresden as his example. We know have a bomb that destroys personnel but leaves infrastructure untouched. I know that has more relevance for places in Europe where there are nice buildings to preserve but it could work in Afghanistan/Pakistan and would certainly better than jgm2′s rather extreme proposal. What do you think?

  20. 71

    As usual, I awoke refreshed this morning after a good night’s sleep which culminated in a very vivid dream about Gordon Brown.

    When I’d changed my pyjama bottoms, I had coffee in my kitchen and read all my mail, which mainly consisted of awards I have won for the important, brilliant and much admired posts I make on the internet about the wonderful man-god who selflessly chose himself to be our leader.

    I always have a big grin on my face when I think about Gordon. Some people, of course, are sullen-faced and mean-spirited. Selfishly blaming Gordon for destroying our once world-renowned personal pensions, for example. But in doing so, they blindly ignore the simple fact that Gordon took one hundred billion pounds from their pension funds so that he could make his big decisions become reality, big decisions such as the car-scrappage scheme, which today is safeguarding British manufacturing jobs for British manufacturing workers, especially those at Hyundai’s new factory in India.

    If only the simple selfish people of this country would learn to unquestioningly surrender themselves, their earnings and their savings to Gordon, to give control of our lives to him and other important and very clever people – such as Harriet Harman and Ed Balls – no-one need ever worry about not having big pension funds again, especially if you’re called Gordon or Harriet or Ed.

    These very clever, important leaders work tirelessly for us, getting on with the job of making big important decisions about what to do with our money and, ultimately, what to do with us. That should make us all grin. Time to change my pyjamas, again.

    • 82
      thick as thieves says:

      BORING!
      raise your game or fuck off.
      thankyou.
      what a prize fucking tool.

      • 84
        jgm2 says:

        I thought it was pretty good actually.

        • 89
          thick as thieves says:

          that is because you are retarded.

        • 91
          thick as thieves says:

          you are out of your league jgm2.
          fuck off.

        • 93
          jgm2 says:

          Thankyou for your kind words.

          I live only to achieve the esteem in which you are held.

        • 108
          Infanta of Castile says:

          TAT doesn’t recognise irony even when it hits him between the eyes – or maybe he does and is upset on Hardwidge’s behalf

        • 152
          thick as thieves says:

          you obviously haven’t read any of jmg2′s psycho posts then you imbecile.
          jmg wants to blow the world up with nuclear bombs.
          the c’unt should be sectioned.
          as should you.
          now fuck off you silly cripple.

        • 159
          jgm2 says:

          I think you’ll find I was for nuking Afghanistan old boy. Not the entire world. Unless you live in Afghanistan in which case it would probably feel a lot like that.

        • 160

          TaT Loves Hamas Terrorists and hates the UK.

        • 221
          thick as thieves says:

          said the zionist nazi.

        • 238
          Conservative PPC says:

          Please boys, hold back. Let’s have a four minute debate. No shouting. TaT, you go first.

        • 247
          thick as thieves says:

          occupying other peoples countries is not cool motherfucker.
          I am top boy and that is my judgment.

        • 252
          Simon Cowell says:

          Thank you TaT. We’ll let you know.

        • 273
          thick as thieves says:

          simon,
          tell us what you would do if this country were occupied by a foreign army.
          I know what I would do, but please tell us what your reaction would be.

        • 282
          Conservative PPC says:

          I think Simon would lance the boyle, TaT, don’t you?

        • 300
          thick as thieves says:

          I think you don’t know what the fuck you are talking about you cretin.

      • 191
        Mr Slater's Parrot says:

        TUK-TUK! KRIPPLEKRIPPLEKRIPPLE! RAAAARK!

    • 211
      Dr Feelgood says:

      Excellent.

    • 257
      Boris Carloffe says:

      Nice to hear you have something in common with Gordon and Mandy

      I prefer to dream of Katy Price (Jordon) or Nichole Kidman.

      But its so pleasing to hear that your sexuality will probably mean you are the last of the line

      It would have been so sad if I thought you were breading so a younger generation would have to put up with a degenerate like you, who had inherited his father’s inadequacies

  21. 72
    oldrightie says:

    Sounds like Fondlebum’s looking to cross the floor?

    • 121
      nell says:

      I hope NOT – We don’t want to see him over there!!

      • 215
        On the winning team says:

        The Tories would have such a masterly political operator as Mandleson like a shot!
        He is above party politics. He’s into power politics. You don’t believe for one minute he actually falls for all that socialism shit! He’d join Dirty Dicks Boys if he thought they were going to rule Europe.

        • 248
          nell says:

          Dear boy – mandy is a self serving slug -only brain cell he has tells him how to taser into people who can make him more and more money for himself !

        • 260
          St Peter says:

          Pretty awesome brain cell! Come on Nell. He’s a master. Who else could run a country and mastermind the EU plan single handed, and from behind the throne? Love him or loathe him,he is the political giant of our age. Two comebacks from disaster,ffs,only Muhammed Ali could match that. He floats like a butterfly,and stings like a scorpion.
          Blair,Brown and Cameron are just pygmies in comparison

        • 263
          jgm2 says:

          He’s a nasty piece of work and he’ll crash and burn with the rest of the evil NuLabour government of occupation.

        • 265
          The Noble Lords says:

          He’s Baron Mandleson of Foy! He’s made for life. When you’re pissing your pants in a council care home,he’ll be in the finest retirement home on the planet!

        • 270
          jgm2 says:

          It’ll be only a matter of time before he gets caught out with another bit of abuse of power and then wallop there goes your ‘Lordship’.

          The Labour party giveth and the Tory party taketh away. And giveth to one of their mates instead.

          Mandy, meanwhile, will be in homosexual heaven. Locked up in jail and sodomised by very large, muscular, gentlemen. Maybe that’s why he’s so prone to getting caught in the first place. Subconsciously he wants to be in jail.

        • 285
          Lord Archer says:

          We don’t do “wallop”
          Even Lord Lucan’s still one of us.

        • 291
          Steve Expat says:

          Cameron would have to be completely nuts to hire him – Only he knows who he fighting for, he could well end up being a liebour plant in the middle of Tory HQ running up to the election. Don’t be stupid Dave!

        • 294
          Conservative PPC says:

          It may be a clever move Steve. Dave felt outflanked by Sarah Brown walking the walk. I think Mandy in the Tories would end the ‘nasty’ party smears for ever. Iain Dale may have a hissy fit though.

        • 303
          12 years in the wilderness says:

          He won’t be wasting his time with pricks like Cameron. FFS he’s already hauled one snake oil salesman into the top seat! And then stuck his hand up Brown’s arse in order to work the mouth and brain simultaneously. It’s just a shame the Tories did’nt grab him twenty years ago. It could have been so different

        • 318
          Steve Expat says:

          Well I sure as fuck won’t be voting Tory if that cnut’s anywhere near them – I might imagine that they have a few differences on Europe too, can’t see Mandy calling for a Lisbon referendum somehow…?

        • 325
          A small island off Europe says:

          Can’t see Cameron calling for one either.
          It’ll be all done and dusted by the time that prat gets the keys to the number ten garden shed.

    • 243
      Conservative PPC says:

      The rumour is that he’ll replace Coulson., who will be moved to OFCOM next June.

  22. 80
    Tin Cunliffe-Arsely says:

    Well, as I’m nowhere near westminster, and as jealous as a shire-tory’s-constituents, I’ll have to set up my own.

    How’s about the “queen’s up the steps” in Chorley. How appropriate. Although if Draper wants to come perhaps we should just have a few cans of aldi special brew on the park bench next to the victory arch at the west corner of Arsely park. I think the etiquette for the latter is you just turn up with a big carrier bag.

    • 225
      Anonymous says:

      Surely Queen up Steps is a restuarant? As for sitting down the park you’ve got no fucking chance. I didn’t move a thousand miles away from Chorley so I can come back and drink Quite Frightening with some unemployable twat who smells of wee. Plus he’d invite that little ginger tosser from St Micks.

      Anyway Chorley is a dump full of little scumbags with terriers and kids pushing prams. One mega ton of instant sunshine couldn’t sort that bloody town.

  23. 85

    ### Charles_E_Hardwidge ###

    CPU BOREDOM OVERFLOW

    • 86
      jgm2 says:

      Trolltastic.

      • 97
        jgm2 says:

        Ah hahahahahaha. I must say I hadn’t realised that Guido was replacing Hardwidge’s masturbatory offerings.

        Tee hee.

        He hits ‘refresh’ all day waiting to get a first with his onanist offerings only to get coshed for tedium.

        Ah hahahahahahaha.

    • 90
      Tin Cunliffe-Arsely says:

      Ah right. so you’re bringing the white lightning?

      (Must say “Merrydown” was the simple but effective choice when i were a lad).

      • 112
        Grumpy Old Man says:

        Don’t forget the large bottle of EMVA Cream to mix in. Get the out of sell by sandwiches from the M&S dustbins and we’re home and dry.

      • 113
        Trough Mixture says:

        The ladies and gentlemen of the Dunfermline bus station A’ Day club swear by Buckfast, Collis-Browne’s stomach jollop and Strongbow Super in a pint glass with a maraschino cherry. But of course they are posh.

        • 168
          jgm2 says:

          I used to live in Dunfermline. They were getting a new bus station when I left. Not much wrong with the old one if I remember rightly. Scottish government must have given them a few million to piss away and some wanker fresh out of Lochgelly University with a town-planning ‘degree’ from the council was only too happy to oblige.

  24. 88
  25. 104
    Bruno says:

    Looks like he’s been to specsavers,ich don’t think so.

  26. 106

    That twat Hardwidge is making me out to be a right tit. I fucking hate the Labour party goddamnit!!!!!!

  27. 118
    Worker in private sector says:

    I cannot afford a holiday!!

    • 129
      nell says:

      Marie-Antoinette (gordon in disguise) would say – “then you must enjoy your garden with a glass of bollinger’s and some caviar.”

      • 151
        Engineer says:

        Fair enough, but could I make it a bottle of Marston’s Pedigree and a cheese and pickle butty – just until the tax rates come down a bit, you understand…

        • 172
          Blog Police WARNING says:

          This thread belongs on the sadtwatsreunited blog

        • 182
          Engineer says:

          You like paying high taxes, then?

        • 201
          nell says:

          We’ll share our wine with you .

          How about a BBQ out in the meadows whilst we think of gordon being eaten to death by mosquitoes in scotland during August?

        • 217
          Engineer says:

          Aha – at last – a positive use for the Scottish Midge!

          The BBQ sounds like an excellent idea – our local butcher wins prizes regularly for his hand made pork and leek sausages, so I’ll bring a couple of pounds of those – they’re good! I’m sure NewGirl will swap a glass or two of Pinot for a bit of prize-winning sausage.

        • 236
        • 255
          thick as thieves says:

          nurse ratched, quick, hurry nurse, doctor dick is having a seizure, restrain him and stick the rubber bit in between his teeth!
          we have tried the electric shock treatment even set on ten and the priest tried but failed to get the devil out of his soul through excorcism, I don’t know what else we can do.
          oh yeah, let’s throw the warmongering c’unt in a padded cell and shut the fucking door.
          fuck doctor dick, he is a satanist black magic motherfucker.
          he can go to hell.
          he has already bought his ticket and he acts as if he cannot wait to meet his master, satan. satan will be very pleased with all the doctor’s warmongering arms dealer propaganda. he will be impressed that the doctor promoted the killing of children and their mothers by israeli war criminals and that he cheered when phosphorus bombs were used by the israeli army on innocent civilians in residential areas. oh how the doctor cheered and hollered as the death count rose steeply!
          1400 Palestinians.
          13 Israelis.
          says it all, innit.
          fuck doctor dick, he’s a c’unt.
          treatment terminated.

        • 256
          thick as thieves says:

          cc anticitizen

        • 264
          Anonymous says:

          CLASS!

        • 268
          Conservative PPC says:

          TaT, you should check your figures before making such wild allegations. There were 17 Israeli casualties and 1398 Palestinian. You distort the truth. No offence meant, just be more careful next time.

        • 272

          TaT,
          You’re projecting once again, your rant is akin to a lunatics babbling*.

          *Which it very possibly is!

        • 283
          thick as thieves says:

          these are the facts.
          that is why zionist c’unts like you are fucked doctor dildo.
          do the deal.
          it is the only way.

        • 287
          jgm2 says:

          Are these 1398 Palestinians the same bunch who took to the streets in a spontaneous display of joy when 300 office workers were murdered?

          Hmmmm. Struggling to give a shit actually.

        • 289
          jgm2 says:

          S’cuse me. 3000 office workers murdered.

        • 307
          thick as thieves says:

          if you don’t give a shit then keep your nose out of it.
          simple innit.
          just do the deal before you are forced to.
          game over motherfucker, game over.
          let us be quite clear: President Obama is not copping any of israel’s war crimes.
          you motherfuckers are on your own from here-on-in.
          on your heads be it.
          Amen.

        • 310
          thick as thieves says:

          jgm2braincells,
          what has that got to do with Palestinians or Iraqi’s or for that matter Afghans?
          er, those 3000 people were murdered by saudi arabian terrorists.
          let’s invade saudi arabia and carry out regime change from the fascist royal leadership to a modern democracy.
          good idea, eh?
          even israel would like that one so we may have found some common ground at last!
          fuck off jgm and take your bullshit with you arsehole.

        • 319
          jgm2 says:

          Actually Tat Saudi Arabia is the very first place I’d have nuked on Sept 12. As you rightly point out – they were Saudi terrorists.

          I don’t suppose Afghanistan would have taken much persuasion then to hand over the rest.

        • 331
          Finger on the Button says:

          You’ll be running out of targets at this rate!

        • 334
          jgm2 says:

          As long as we run out of targets before we run out of ammunition then the jobs a good-un.

        • 342

          As Normal TaT is supporting terrorists because he’s a clueless idiot.

        • 343
          Babs Woodhouse says:

          I think TaT’s point is that if you keep kicking a dog,don’t be surprised if it bites you

        • 352
          Dack Blog says:

          Summer drinks to dropping a nuclear bomb. How depressing.

  28. 132
    Pulled out his thumb says:

    do they do trunks in your size?

  29. 138
    Billedo says:

    Champagne for all my friends….

  30. 141
    nell says:

    Just back from littleone’s’ Year 6 Rock Production. Make-up, ear-rings, perfume, mobile phones and high heels.

    Next year senior school – give me strength!!

    For now we are off for a ‘proper’ family seaside holiday in Scarborough and a spell in dear old Denia.

    So enjoy your’s too Guido and thanks for the chance you’ve given me to vent my spleen on here with like minded people.

    Don’t know about you but I’m taking my laptop with me. Sad I know!!!!

  31. 143

    OT.

    We need more helicopters like this.

  32. 145
    Stronghold Barricades says:

    Guido is off for a month to the Maison Secondaire

    I guess that’s a burglar’s charter then

  33. 164
    Moley says:

    I like the BBC advertising vid, but I am still not going to pay my license fee until they kick out Ross as they should have done at the time of his obscene phone call.

    Whilst one wouldn’t like to impose hardship on the BEEB, it is possible to have a reasonable lifestyle on less than £600,000.pa.

    A lot of license payers manage it on around ten pounds an hour or less.

    • 179
      Engineer says:

      I’d like to second that. I did pay this year’s £142-50, but very begrudgingly.

      However, I would give them credit for Test Match Special. Henry Blofeld is (almost) worth the Licence Fee on his own….

  34. 199
    nell says:

    O/T sorry –

    ITV just now is saying that SAS troops are waiting to go into action in Afghanistan but are grounded because our own SAS compatible helicopters are not available.

    The MOD running around like headless chickens have managed to hire some foreign helicopters for the SAS to begin their operations but these too now have now been grounded tonight because HEALTH AND SAFETY requirements have not been completed!!!!

    Talk about scrambled eggs. This shambles of a Labour government couldn’t win a coconut at a coconut shy in a village fete!!!

    • 203
      jgm2 says:

      H&S requirements? In a fucking war zone? It’s like a fucking Monty Python sketch. Only funny.

      • 237
        tired and jaded says:

        attention to H&S might have prevented the Nimrod crash. The risk of mixing hot air with aviation fuel had been flagged up 2 years before.

        • 293
          Steve Expat says:

          That’s not H&S, that’s common sense.

          H&S is when they say that there’s not enough seat belts in the chopper for the number of men, or that the height from the ground to the door requires a ladder as it’s 2’9″ rather than 2’6″ – IN A WAR ZONE.

          FOR FUCK’S SAKE LET THE TRAINED SOLDIERS DO THEIR FUCKING JOB!!!

        • 315
          thick as thieves says:

          got your tin hat and ready to go are you steve the tramp?
          no?
          well shut the fuck up then you fucking wanker.

        • 325
          Steve Expat says:

          TwAT, I’m a damn sight nearer the war zone than you will ever be, and if Iran kicks off I’m the distance from London to Manchester away from it!

        • 337
          thick as thieves says:

          so that is a no.
          shut the fuck up steve you are full of shit.

    • 210
      Engineer says:

      Well you do have to be careful in war zones you know – somebody might get hurt….

      • 226
        Davros says:

        Although can you imagine the shit storm if we lost a load of SAS because of a dodgy chopper. The press would have a field day..

        • 231
          Engineer says:

          A dodgy chopper? Don’t they use penicillin for that?

        • 239
          The Archbishop of Canterbury says:

          Christ on a bike – short memories. This has already happened a couple of times.

        • 240
          jgm2 says:

          Helicopters are unsafe at the best of times. They’re as safe as riding a motorbike while completely pissed even when nobody is shooting at you.

          The statistics for helicopters are horrendous.

        • 295
          Steve Expat says:

          Just imagine what would happen today, if someone newly suggested the concept of a helicopter to the ‘elf and safety droids?

          Could you imagine anyone being given permission to build one if it were a completely new idea??

    • 219
      Dr Feelgood says:

      Not sure if anyone here is familiar with the film ‘Office Space’ and the put-upon Milton. For some reason he reminds me of Bob Ainsworth.

      Here you can see him securing the defence budget…

  35. 206
    Engineer says:

    So Guido is planning to retreat and while away the silly season in a Guinness-fuelled stupor, leaving us lesser mortals to amuse ourselves. Sounds eminently sensible – if troughing MP’s can take half the summer off, there presumably is rather less for the dedicated blogmeister to do business with, unless, of course, he is planning to leave a trusted co-conspirator to sweat it out during the dog-days of August.

    Enjoy the break, Guido.

    (P.S. It is to be hoped that little Miss Fawkes is over the flu, and capable of disrupting – sorry, enjoying – the holidays.)

  36. 207

    That sounds very nice!

    Sadly what with the train service being what it is (last direct night trains to and from London was killed off in 1968) and the fact that I am having to cover for a magazine editor who is on annual leave, I am afraid I am stuck here! Have a good time, Guido!

    Incidentally
    Brown dithers as soldiers die, Mandelson slithers, a normal Tuesday, then, really…

  37. 212
    koba says:

    Have a good holiday Guido. Will anybody be minding the shop while your away?

    • 228
      Dr Feelgood says:

      Some guest admin suggestions:

      Tat the twat: everyone banned except himself, a month of intense self love
      Hardwidge: site turned into Zen graphics fidelity shrine, all visitors cut wrists
      Master Baiter: blogs about his gay fantasies for posh boys, especially Osborne

      Okay, perhaps not

    • 229
      Charles De Gaulle says:

      Mais Oui,Monsieur !!

  38. 224
    Daveyone says:

    Stolen generation Pt.1.
    http://soundcloud.com/christian-j/stolen-generation-part-one

    A professional analysis of the Family Court’s ‘Bible’ that justifies the ‘ least detrimental alternatives’ to the traditional family. “We have a generation of fathers who are shell-shocked, heartbroken”. It was Adolph Hitler who first said that people will take any reduction to their freedom if you tell them it is in the best interests of the children. Could we not have a non-detrimental alternative, Amfortas asks.

  39. 230
    nell says:

    Sorry Guido you can’t go on holiday just yet.

    What about PMQ’s tomorrow???!!!

    PLEASE don’t desert us not just yet. Maybe in a week or two -

    I have tickets booked for HenryVIII (you know the person in charge who throws anything handy to hand at his servants) at Scarborough Castle in August .

    Go on holiday in August . That will be fine.

  40. 232
  41. 246
    Hardwidget's Nurse says:

    Another night hosing down the stained bedsheets, bandaging his blistered palms, listening to his ramblings and trying to avoid being “sprayed”.

    Looking after a complusive wanker is not easy.

  42. 250
    grobdj says:

    Have a good holiday mate

  43. 254
    nell says:

    Guido – Here’s a Cheers to the summer !!!

    A Prayer to our Men in Afghanistan that They Stay Safe!!!!

    And a HOPE that gordon and mandy are deposed by the Autumn.

    PLEASE GOD!!!

    Good Night. God Bless.

    • 261
      thick as thieves says:

      God bless you nell.
      you are alright for a tory and thankyou for joining the anti-war movement.
      together, as a coalition, we will:
      GET OUR BOYS OUT OF AFGHANISTAN!
      TROOPS OUT NOW NO MORE BLOOD FOR BROWN!
      THE C’UNTS NOT WORTH IT
      FUCK BROWN HE IS AN AGENT OF AMERICAN INTERESTS FUCK HIM
      SAVE OUR SOLDIERS
      TROOPS OUT NOW!

    • 281

      “A ship in port is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for.”: Grace Murray Hopper

      Good Hunting.

      • 286
        thick as thieves says:

        got your tin hat at the ready coward?
        thought not.
        so shut your mouth you spineless c’unt.
        that’s better.

      • 298
        Steve Expat says:

        That sounds like the Minister who said yesterday that there would soon be “More helicopters on the ground in Helmand” – why the fuck would the troops want them on the ground, they are either in the air or unservicable!

        • 301
          jgm2 says:

          If I recall the lies correctly they would be ‘on the ground’ sometime in the new year. So they’ll ship some parts out by Christmas and then claim they’re ‘in theatre’ awaiting deployment. Although ‘awaiting assembly’ would be closer to the truth.

          You simply cannot believe a word that comes out of these liars mouths.

        • 305
          Steve Expat says:

          Do you think they’ll start shipping them out in bits, then say there are hundreds of ‘coptors out there?

          GB said yesterday that there were 60% more than 2 years ago to huge applause from his own benches – except that the number of troops has risen by 100% in that time and we have only 10 choppers for 9,000 men.

          Eight of them went through Wooton Bassett today with Full Honours, as usual not a Minister in sight :-(

          RIP +

        • 309
          Conservative PPC says:

          Gordon could recruit Engineer. He’d get them assembled in a jiffy.

        • 314
          Steve Expat says:

          Engineer, fancy a trip 5,000 miles east? It’s safe there, honest…

        • 316
          jgm2 says:

          There is so much scope for lying and misleading Parliament it is difficult to know where to start with closing down their options.

          They could say ‘Three further shipments of helicopters left for Afganistan yesterday evening’ which might foolishly lead you to believe that at least three helicopters were flown down there overnight.

          The reality though could be that the ‘shipments’ refered to three cases of spanners. Or that there were helicopters but small, teeny ones for flying Ben Brown and Kate Adie around in. Or that there are enough parts inside three shipping containers to theoretically assemble three helicopters and we just put them on a ship bound for Suez which should arrive in March.

          Or it could be an outright lie.

          There is simply no way of knowing and Labour have developed lying to such a fine art that you cannot frame an open enough or closed enough question to trap them in a lie. A fucking disgrace is what they are.

          Enemies of the truth.

        • 317
          thick as thieves says:

          glad you are up for going to the front line steve.
          when are you going?
          oh, you aren’t going you are just talking a load of shit.
          you are a total fucking wanker steve, aren’t you.
          just a loud mouthed gobby spineless c’unt.
          a total fucking waste of space.
          fuck off tramp.

        • 320
          Sick of war says:

          Send the choppers out in bits.
          send our boys home…………
          I’ll get me coat

        • 323
          Steve Expat says:

          jgm2 spot on

          TwAT face, you really are a cnut aren’t you? This is like going into a battle of wits with an unarmed man, if you can’t engage and debate then fuck off back to your cave

        • 339
          thick as thieves says:

          you are just a spineless coward steve.
          you aren’t worth a light you c’unt.

  44. 271
    Dick the Prick says:

    Have fun man. Accidently necked a bottle of Sapphire and feelihg really old. Love to fam – Dicky.

  45. 277
    Simon Cowell says:

    I would show them my ID card. ID cards will solve all our problems.

  46. 296
    I give a fuck says:

    Yes. That sounds about right. Projection and anger are manifest in the subject known as ‘TaT’. And there is evidence of adolescent angst in the e e cummings style affectation of writing in lower case although the concomitent device of avoiding all punctuation was clearly too subtle.

    I diagnose that the subject was the victim of a dominant father and indulgent mother and probably regularly beaten.

    Though clearly not enough.

    Doctor Freud.

  47. 308

    People comment sagely about the recession but were quick to big themselves up while things were going well and trouser illusory gains from house prices rises. Meanwhile, the government has trimmed the excesses of boom and bust and helped create a more resilient economic climate. Apart from 20-20 hindsight and talking everyone into a bigger hole, what else have the Tories got?

    • 324
      Conservative PPC says:

      A victory to look forward to?

    • 350
      caesars wife says:

      more resiliant economic climate , you must have lifted that out of the 1997 budget report .

      you cant build anything sound on a debt ratio of 80% of GDP , most consider 30% is safe , its casinonomics all the way with broon labour .

      tell you what hardwidge give us some firm figs on when UK growth will return , then you can have your discussion with as you term it “the dregs” on here

    • 384
      If it votes Labour, kill it says:

      How does one trouser an illusory gain?

      Cognitive thought’s not your strong point, is it?

    • 423
      What Charles Hardwidge Really Believes says:

      I’m not a member of Labour.
      Charles Hardwidge @ 3:16 pm, Thu 30th Apr 2009 on LabourList

  48. 311
    Ewanme says:

    Na night you sensible nutters ;-) )

    I’ll see ya at Guido’s piss up if :

    a) I can the email thingy to work

    b) I get invited

    c) I can wear a paper bag on me head for security reasons

    d) Ya don’t all laugh coz I know fuck all bout politics

    Well , I know they’re all fuckin mingers , petal

    E x .

    • 313
      Ewanme says:

      e) I can construct a sentence wiv all the words in place

      E x .

      • 322
        thick as thieves says:

        fuck off childcatcher.
        note to reader: perhaps I was rather harsh with ewan/new girl this evening.
        but that is politics and she will either have to toughen up or fuck off.
        that is the game.

        • 328
          Conservative PPC says:

          It is all style over substance, TaT. We all know you are a sweetie really.

        • 332
          Dr Freud says:

          He is afraid to be loved. Repeated betrayal of trust by a father who was nice while sober but extremely violent toward the young TaT while drunk has left him with a fear of developing close relationships with adults.

          He also fears societies reaction to his natural tendency to prefer to express his affections towards children and projects that onto other adults.

          Also his affectation with capital letters is reminiscent of a ‘safe zone’ in the teenage years probably as a result of a very understanding (male) teacher during his English ‘O’ Level.

          Dr Freud

          (his mark)

        • 335
          TaT's girlfriend(yes i do exist) says:

          I would’nt recommend his seduction technique.
          “Get em off,you fucking cripple”

        • 340
          Conservative PPC says:

          Is he referring to your clothes or prosthethic leg? If the former, I think you should report him.

        • 344
          thick as thieves says:

          mind your manners. that’s top boy’s bird you are talking to.
          I can’t fucking believe it, I’ve fucking pulled!

        • 345
          TaT's girlfriend(yes i do exist) says:

          Come on big boy! give it to me! Or i’ll fucking maim you for life!

        • 346
          Pikey Lee Jones says:

          TaTees in love!

  49. 349
    caesars wife says:

    sounds like a nice little sworee , hope you have a good time and thanks for some interesting news pieces and laughs .

    interesting bit on treasury questions aprt from usual non answer and denial govt initiatives havent worked . personal debt is £1.46 trillion pounds in may

    peter mandelson has annouced there will be cuts in the next ten years oh dear i can hear a balloon burst and a nokia fly, good news is no euro for a few years .

    Inflation figs some comfort , namely due to food prices falling due to lower crude prices , but it just goes to show , that as soon as demand picks up so will inflation , hes getting by for now on low interest and inflation , when activity picks up he has little choice but tax death scenario , he really should have ordered that spending review before the recovery , he could be going blind into a period of time when careful management of the economy will be required , as some bits are clearly starving to death , these will be lagging some way behind if not beyond repair .
    he literally will not be able to see what needs repairing , nor will business , it is perhaps the worst decision a chancellor has ever made in uk history , backed up by the worst support of Uk priminister .

    the big projects will not compensate the damage done elseware he has too much debt , imagine further along when annunities start making people weep for the next 5 years . Ime all for getting some confidence back , but without the spending review he could be forcing buisness to build on sand , let alone the more realistic prospect of a long weak recovery .

    If they plan on comming clean , better not hide anything , public are are onto there lying

    • 359
      Engineer says:

      The best thing government can do for business is to leave it alone to get on with the job itself, and when possible, start to give tax breaks for Research and Development, and for Training. It would be good if government could give practical support and assistance to businesses looking to export. Then keep on top of public spending – try to get the tax take down when possible to give business and commerce more freedom.

      It won’t be quick, or easy, but we’ll get there, as long as we can get the current excuse for a government off our backs as soon as possible.

      • 390
        grandma B says:

        Agreed, but pigs might fly – it’s in the nature of governments to interfere at every opportunity, particularly this government!

      • 398
        Groucho says:

        R&D tax credits are available and can amount to a useful lump of money, but the scheme is quite difficult and expensive to access. The rules and regulations are so complex that you really do need the help of an accountant who specialises in this work, and they don’t come cheap, usually insisting on a hefty fee downpayment in advance.

        R&D grants are available in some areas, but usually paid in arrears which is sod all use. In my local area, the R&D grant application form states that ‘R&D grants are only available to companies that can afford to carry out the research and development work’ What???

        UK Trade and Industry supposedly assists businesses that are trying to export. Unfortunately UKTI is one of the biggest and slowest gravy trains out there. Any application for asisitance from them will be tied up in red tape for months until either the business opportunity has gone, or the applicant has lost the will to live. Then UKTI will send you an email telling you about the ‘trade mission’ they have just been on to the Caribbean (I shit you not).

        The biggest threat to small businesses now more then ever is cashflow, as customers drag their feet over payment and suppliers shorten their payment terms. What is needed are easily accessible, flexible short term loans – bypassing the banks.

        That would be really useful, on the ground support. Then let businesses get on with doing business.

  50. 351
    thebigotbasher says:

    If Guido gets paid for people clicking on that rubbish poetry ad then fair play to him. What are the rules – $$s per Ip address clicking?

    Sound.

  51. 354

    I love Gordon Brown, he makes me feel so good about myself. You know, self-assured and all that jazz. At times like this we need a fellow Piggy to lead us to 2 legs rather than 4 legs.

    Four legs good, two legs better!
    Four legs good, two legs better!
    Four legs good, two legs better!

  52. 355

    Hello Piggy here.

    I love Gordon

  53. 356
    freddie flintoff says:

    eh up guido lad does that mean the site will be closed ?

    • 358
      Disgusted says:

      Saw you on tv this morning. You were acting up like a real class A plonker. What are you, six FFS?

      No wonder the Aussies laugh at us.

  54. 357
    Anonymous says:

    TaT do wheel about with one of those electric buggies from the NHS?

  55. 361
    Agent 99 says:

    So a certain Heath minister was telling ‘porkies on swine fly vacines’ when on the TV News the other day when he siad we would all have vaccinations and we were at the front of the queue and no one could have done any better.

    Today……

    “There’s no vaccine. One should be available soon, in August. But having a vaccine available is not the same as having a vaccine that has proven safe,” Chan told Britain’s Guardian newspaper.

    LYING Its in Labours DNA they just can’t help it

    http://uk.news.yahoo.com/18/20090715/thl-who-chief-doubts-speedy-swine-flu-va-5effa79.html

    • 368
      hoof-hearted says:

      Sky had a report today in which Liam Donaldson said that the vaccine may not be ready for another 6 months and one in 200 people could die. Yesterday, the prediction was that Swine Flu would peak in Autumn/Winter. So many conflicting stories we just don’t know who to believe.

      • 377
        Twizzle says:

        You just don’t believe a word a Labour politician says.

        Simples.

      • 400
        Tin Cunliffe-Arsely says:

        Well its all guesswork to some extent – even if they have got all the science right and aren’t spinning it.

        Note too “1 in 200 of … people ill enough to go to the doctors” could die -apparently thats the same as normal flu.

        (but note, thats still a bit shit, esp if normal flu + swine flu doubles your risk).

      • 409
        barefootcontessa says:

        Same as the constantly changing excuses about our reasons for being in Afghanistan. New labour are at 6s and 7s. They’ve lost the plot, … not that they ever had the plot.

    • 382
      CCL says:

      Whay ae they getting away with these consistant twists and turns of the truth. They must be brought to account, starting at the very top, then defence, health, home office, energy the list goes on and on….the worry is GB can still pull the ‘national emergency card’ with the H1N1 problem growing by the minute, some excuse that would be, surely we the public would not except it?

  56. 362
    Hugh Janus says:

    “Whitehall Mole Prosecuting Jacqui Smith Over Expenses” opposite.

    Excellent, more power to his elbow. Seeing some of these thieving parasites up before the courts is long overdue. I do hope she won’t be the last.

    • 363
      freddie flintoff says:

      she is the poster girl for expenses, a fooking ugly one a that lad

  57. 366
    Agent 99 says:

    I won’t put a cap on immigration vows the Home Secretary

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1199781/I-wont-cap-immigration-vows-Home-Secretary.html#ixzz0LJafHLMK&D

    (Well its all about getting the vote out ain’t it…err!.. well um.. in this case ‘in’)

    NuLabour screwing someone near you. Its in their DNA.

    • 369
      hoof-hearted says:

      Alan Johnson said he won’t place a cap on immigrants, and he doesn’t lie awake at nights worrying about the stream of immigrants placing such a burden on public services. Not surprising really. On his salary he can afford to go private.

      This just reinforces my belief that Labour will drain every last drop out of this country before they lose the next election.

  58. 367
    Anonymous says:

    This is frightening. Gordon Brown’s growing police state is getting out of hand and is a threat to us all:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/columnists/lizhunt/5828510/A-society-of-secret-lists-and-snoopers.html

    • 374
      hoof-hearted says:

      This is awful! How many over-zealous councils have managed to blacklist people in this way?

    • 386
      Hugh Janus says:

      This is both chilling and sickening in equal measure. Too many publicly-funded jobsworths trying to reach their pitiful targets for chastising innocent, law-abiding members of the public.

      I gave supporting the police some years ago when they took up the PC cause with such gusto. I doubt that I’m alone. And never mind a cull of quangos – it’s also time to get rid of whole swathes of council jobsworths too, along with their grand titles, ridiculous salaries, trips abroad and their generous pension schemes, set out to make our lives a misery.

    • 391
      nell says:

      I think next year’s Conservative government is going to have a lot of ‘rolling back the state’ jobs –

      hopefully this will be one of their first – think how much money will be saved by sacking all these worthless jobsworths.

  59. 371
    Steve Expat says:

    Guido, please can someone remove all the posts by “Thick as Thieves” and the responses to them? – It might actually make this thread readable…

    PS Enjoy your drinks on Thursday, and keep up the good work – Only Broon to get now!

  60. 375
    NewGirl says:

    Would love to come and buy you a pint Guido. Thurs v difficult, Friday would be much better for all your non-London fans…but I’ll try and get there thurs if you’ll have me..

    • 392
      nell says:

      Do go and have a glass of wine for me. Red, of course!

      Fen folks don’t do London – well only when we have to little one down there to hospital. I really hate the place – no fields and open spaces.

      • 393
        nell says:

        apologies for my grammar – I meant of course ‘to take’

      • 430
        NewGirl says:

        I’m a bit of a country girl too Nell, but very adaptable where pinot on offer..!

        Always think of James Herriot talking about London – you have to take big steps and little uns…

        Guido yet to invite me …I may be NFI . But if I get there I will at least have a glass of blush for you, ‘stead of red!

        • 437
          Anonymous Misogynist says:

          It’s gonna be logistically impossible for me to be in London tomorrow as I have other more important things to do on Friday here in Spain, TaT will surely be pleased!!
          Nell, if your holidaying in Denia, bring plenty of factor 50, it’s been ‘redders’ here and set to continue.
          NewGirl have a Pinot for me, all that Pinot eh, well pissed?
          Buen viaje Guido, espero nos vemos pronto.

        • 438
          NewGirl says:

          Ahh shame Misog…

      • 431
        Engineer says:

        Know what you mean, Nell – I’ve been to London twice in my life and hated it both times. I like to feel I’m near greenery and clear air, and London is too big, too claustraphobic, and far too up itself for my taste. (No offence meant to Londoners – each to their own.)

        It would be fun to meet some of the interesting people who contribute to this blog, there seems to be a fairly good cross-section of ‘middle Britons’ (if such a classification exists). But not this time.

        NG – if you do make it, have a glass for me, and wish Guido well!

        • 446
          NewGirl says:

          I think I’m going to make it at some point, but will anyone I know be there at all? ? ? !

  61. 376
    hoof-hearted says:

    The elderly will have to fork out up to £20,000 to pay for their respite care as the burden placed on public services will be too great.

    Nothing about the burden on public services created by all the immigrants coming in.

    • 379
      Twizzle says:

      And how much do they pay in Scotland? Errrr…. nothing.

    • 385
      CCL says:

      another stealth tax and redistribution of wealth by the back door, a disgrace.

      • 388
        Hugh Janus says:

        And for those who perfer to spend their money like water and save nothing, presumably the state will look after them free of charge? As always, those who are sensible with their money and put something away for a rainy day will be penalised.

        • 395
          hoof-hearted says:

          Most of us have been sensible with their money. It’s us who will have to support the people who couldn’t care less.

          The sooner we get out of the UK, the better.

        • 396
          hoof-hearted says:

          …sorry – I meant OUR money.

        • 405
          Tin Cunliffe-Arsely says:

          hoof.

          So you’ve got enough to pay for fully private care when you’re old?
          Or are you going to come back when you’re completely knackered and have no other option, like Ronnie Biggs. I did meet a chap with an alternative plan, that he went through with – A shotgun.

          PS: I have nothing constructive to say about this, so “bloody hell its going to cost a lot”.

    • 389
      PT Barnum says:

      It’s worse than that.

      Reduce benefits for the disabled to subsidise this + make people pay £20,000 for anything more than ‘basic’ social care = elderly still selling their houses to pay for social care + even greater impoverishment for those least able to help themselves. And I’m not talking about the bad back brigade who have more in common with MPs than anyone else.

      But of course this is only one of three suggestions for public debate. 1997 Blair said sorting out care of the elderly was a matter of urgency. One man’s urgent is another’s ‘put it off til tomorrow’.

      • 402
        grandma B says:

        Care home fees are £20,000+ now, so how far will this “insurance” go? It’s just a wind up so they can introduce something which doesn’t seem so bad later on, but of course there won’t be a later on for Labour.

        The Tories will be left with all these problems including the massive one of public sector pensions. We need some kind of 3 party co-operation on these problems (or issues to put it in the right jargon). Will we get it?

  62. 397
    nell says:

    281,000 people lost their jobs in the 3 months to May. It’s the biggest quarterly rise in unemployment on record.

    Pity gordon and bob’not up to the job’ weren’t amongst them.

    • 401
      hoof-hearted says:

      They’re still harping back to 1996 when the unemployment figures matched those of today. There are still a huge amount of people who don’t realise how bad this recession is. They haven’t been adversely affected by it all yet.

    • 403
      CCL says:

      Please remember there is alot of ‘hidden’ unemployment, it’s those tractor stats again, the real figure is much higher.

      • 408
        wheredidmyjobgo-well,to Germany actually says:

        I’m one – and there are many more. Not registered, not claiming. Living off redundancy payment and savings which hopefully will not run out before I secure another job. But mid fifties, white, British male I ‘aint top of the list….

        • 411
          hoof-hearted says:

          You have my sympathies. I’ve been out of work since April and I can’t get another job. We’re seriously thinking of renting our house and leaving. We can’t afford to live here to any reasonable standard on my partner’s salary.

        • 415
          Anonymous says:

          well im exactly the same here. Paid my stamp all my life. Go to job centre, 80% non white. I’m not entitled to job seekers. I have to phone 0845 number to find out why. All they do is process people for the figures. Never once have I been offered help to actually get a job. I have applied for many and I’m not stupid by any means. No one even bothers to reply. They say they may pay my stamp if I keep going to the job centre. I admit I’m very depressed. Never thought it would come to this.

        • 421
          Hugh Janus says:

          407 I hope you find something, but since you (and I) are on Hattie Manhater-Harperson’s hit list of undesirables I wouldn’t hold your breath.

        • 422
          hoof-hearted says:

          Anonymous.

          Keep your chin up, mate. Something will turn up, I’m sure. This is my third redundancy in my working life. You sort of get immune after a certain amount of time, although I realise that doesn’t help you.

          If you just need to get out of the house, try voluntary work. I did that for a while and made a lot of friends, some of whom have proved to be really good ones.

          I wish you luck.

    • 407
      jgm2 says:

      Them figures will be absolutely blown out of the water once this years cohort of unemployable graduates hit the figures. I believe the government has pulled a few strokes to avert that happening until the New Year though. They will however, be effectively unemployed already since, if I remember right, final exams were out of the way by now.

      I’d estimate an additional half million at least unemployed just from this years graduates and school leavers.

      That figure of unemployment ‘topping out’ at 3.2 million will prove to be wildly optimistic.

      I’ll be at least four million. And possibly five million by the time somebody does the necessary with the public sector. Remember, since 2001 there are an additional million hidden there who should be unemployed already.

  63. 406
    Anonymous says:

    My spouse works for a company who supplies the NHS. One of their PCT’s has avoided paying a rather large invoice for over 2 months. If they don’t pay up soon, my spouse will also be joining the ranks of the unemployed.

    • 410
      jgm2 says:

      Good it’s starting to work then.

      • 413
        hoof-hearted says:

        …and you are gainfully employed, I presume?

        • 416
          jgm2 says:

          You’ll find that anybody can put in any name they like on this forum. That comment is not mine. If you see what I mean.

        • 417
          jgm2 says:

          Although, for the record I haven’t worked since March 2001.

          No point working when you don’t have to either. I’m on tax strike.

          I’m invisible to the figures too.

        • 419
          wheredidmyjobgo-well,to Germany actually says:

          With you jgm2 on that one. The one comfort in unemployment is that I am not paying tax to those thieving, incompetent *astards to squander on useless social engineering projects. Hanging from lamp posts just is not going to be good enough…………….

        • 420
          jgm2 says:

          Yes, I’ve got three shirts on, I’m invisible, except at Tesco for the points.

        • 429
          Master Baiter says:

          Did anyone catch the Fallout program on BBC2?

  64. 425
    barefootcontessa says:

    …..and, on a brighter note my hedgehog has just come back from the dead. The hole was dug, the spade poised for burial, he took a deep breath, made an unmistakable movement, and was thus spared burial. Now in cardboard box with hot water bottle he is sleeping soundly. I have his sugary, watery drink ready. Hedgehogs are a nocturnal animal.

    Hedgehogs have existed for more than 15 million years, and never hurt anybody. Haven’t started any wars, ruined the planet, taken anybodies’ human rights away, haven’t claimed (via god) that they’re exclusively in the right etc etc. We humans have a lot to answer for, particularly politicians

    • 426
      Hugh Janus says:

      Excellent news – and they consume lots of slugs. When recovered, would you like to release it in House of Commons???

    • 427
      Engineer says:

      I gather that the old bread-and-milk feed is not good for them, at least not in any quantity. The hedgehogs that visit my parents’ garden do enjoy their nightly saucer of catfood, though, and clear up dried mealworms with gusto (saucer of water also supplied). The slug population seems diminished as well.

      Good luck with the prickley one, but watch out for the fleas….

    • 432
      NewGirl says:

      I was talking about hedgehogs the other day. When we were little they were always about, now I haven’t seen one even as a victim of an RTA for years. What a shame. Hope yours recovers well.

      • 434
        Engineer says:

        I gather badgers are about the only predator that can deal with them, and the badger population has been on the rise for a while. Hedgehogs are doing OK in suburbia where there are plenty of gardens, but not so well in farming areas – maybe the badger link has something to do with this.

  65. 428
    bandersnatch says:

    Here’s a pretendy email fiver, Guido *******£5******* Have a drink on me, and have a splendid month’s holiday away from The Smoke.

    @—’—,— Dearie me this damned keyboard won’t draw me a decent rose…

  66. 433
    jgm2 says:

    OT

    China’s foreign reserves top 2 trillion quid.

    Do you remember when our miracle economy, modestly acclaimed at every single opportunity as being his own work by the miracle chancellor, Gordon Brown was going great guns? You remember, from 2001 to 2007.

    When house prices were going up 10 and 15% per year even though our wages were only going up 3%? Do you remember?

    When we were remortgaging our houses, borrowing 100bn quid a year and buying foreign holidays, foreign cars and foreign plasma TVs? Do you remember?

    When Gordon Brown was borrowing 40bn quid a year more than he was receiving at the peak of the biggest boom in history? On top of all his hidden PFI expenditure.

    And modestly acclaiming himself as a miracle worker and ‘prudent’ and that he would never go over total debt of 40% of GDP. Even though he’d already doubled national debt since 2001.

    Do you remember?

    Do you know where all that borrowed and squandered money ended up?

    You do now.

  67. 440
    honeyelize says:

    I like beautiful blogs!

  68. 442
    Another Swine Flu Thread says:

    The Telegraph is reporting that swine flu could kill one in every two hundred people infected.

    If that figure is right then more than 70,000 deaths can be expected if 25% of the popuation catch .

    I am glad I have my Tamiflu ready.

  69. 443
    George Laird says:

    Dear George Osborne

    “Son”.

    Sorry but Osborne is genetically imperfect, no relation there methinks.

    “glad to see your showing an interest in the family business”.

    No interest in business just in what colours they sell to brothels!

    “As soon as we get the charter I’ll be in touch. We’re asking her highness to approve the wording ” as used in Balmoral and Craigton”.

    And Higham Lane, Nuneaton, England don’t forget to add that.

    Yours sincerely

    George Laird
    The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University

  70. 444
    scotch says:

    Scotch is also at an undisclosed Westminter location on Thursday.
    He hopes that talking about himself in the third person will make him sound cool.
    Nice shades BTW.

  71. 447

    [...] a big drinking session later on in the evening, but I’m not sure I can stay for it because I have to be back in Coventry to get on with the [...]

  72. 448
    Sukyspook says:

    I’d have loved to have a beer with you Guido but am holding my own (ooooh, matron) up in the East Mids (north of Watford).

    Have a big fat pint of Pedigree for me, failing that, Guiness will do nicely…

    It’s been fun as always and I really appreciate all you do and the humour of those who turn up regularly to vent their spleen. Have un bon vacances.

    Hang on, whose “running” the hoontry whilst you’re not here? It’s pretty obvious we don’t need a feckin’ useless “parliament” to do so if they can walk away for weeks considering everything that’s goin’ down GLOBALLY!

    Missing you already…mwa, mwa.



What’s the Point of Our Anti-Business Secretary? | Ruth Porter
Krugman is Seductive, Simplistic and Unrealistic | Jeremy Warner
Lower Taxes, Higher Growth, the Statistical Evidence | CPS
Bash the Unions, Gatecrash the Quangos | ConservativeHome
I Told You So: Euro is Doomed | Douglas Carswell
PM Speaks for the Nation When Bashing Balls | Quentin Letts
Time for an Alliance | Dan Hannan
Farage’s Plan | ConservativeHome
Guardian Open News is a Failure | Heather Brooke
Balls Calls for Deeper Cuts | Speccie
Lessons from the Thirties | CPS
PMQs Idiots | Harry Cole
Jon Cruddas is Not the Messiah | Dan Hodges

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Peter Botting



Lord Lamont told ITV News…

“I think the PM is just human and Ed Balls is a pretty irritating person”



AC1 says:

Gangsters keep their promises, unlike party manifestos.



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