Keen Court Report
This just in from Guido’s court reporter and co-conspirator, Colin Murphy, at the hearing into the occupation of an empty, taxpayer funded property by taxpayers:
It was a very good-natured hearing, delayed by some 25 minutes (the Keen’s counsel in that time instructed to don robe and wig) during which time the Legal Occupiers entertained a standing-room only court no. 1 with choruses to the tune of Ringo’s masterpiece:
“We all live where the Keens are never seen, Keens are never seen, Keens are never seen”.
There was an air of inevitability of the outcome with the Legal Occupiers relying on the claim of procedural defect in that the order was made against unknown persons, despite the disclosed identities being conveyed on the day of the constabulary’s first appearance. There was some precedent in LB Hackney in 1994, but legislation had superseded that event.
With scenes reminiscent of Spartacus, Judge Plaskow in calling the hearing named a defendant and explained the consequences with regard to any costs order of being named, followed with a number of the Legal Occupiers standing one by one to be added to the action, until a further 11 were named as defendants.
One of the number, Mark Felix, was asked by the judge if he was considering a career in the law after a novel and ‘interesting’ line about them having beneficial ownership as the taxpayer had paid for the home and the concept of whether the Keens had acquired the equity of the home with ‘clean hands’ and reference was made to the breaking news that they were to be investigated by the Parliamentary Standards Committee. The judge wisely said that he could not go behind Parliament in this matter.
…
The bewigged counsel stated that the Keens had not been in residence since August 2008 and it may be semantic but only Mr. Keen was mentioned as the owner during one exchange, raising the question of how Mrs. Keen was claiming a second home allowance.
Ah well, fun while it lasted…
You couldn’t make this up.
Jacqui Smith on her husband’s porn habits:
” But he’s had a hard time as well.”
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2009/jul/11/jacqui-smith-interview
Maybe Mrs. Keen is reading wisely so that Mr. Keen doesn’t have to get his hands dirty on the brickwork of the taxpayer paid house – he can just get a pile of jiz on them and wipe them off with the paper hankie.
Hello. Was also there and have posted on the event here:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/jul/13/ann-alan-keen-squatters
Interesting to see a mix of opinions at Daily Mail on this – partly people applauding them and partly Tony Martin pro-homeowners rights people
This is my favourite bit from the article, which provides a key insight into the lives of our politicians.
How painful is it to be known as the porn politician? “It’s part of the reason I resigned. You become that person who is associated with those things. Here’s a story that exemplifies it. About six weeks ago I was home, in London, with my sister, and I’d had a bit of a shitty day and I said I don’t want to watch the news, let’s watch something else for a bit of entertainment, and we watched Argumental. John Sergeant was presenting it, and he says at the start, ‘Welcome to the programme where contestants get sticky and uncomfortable like Jacqui Smith’s husband.’ Now I can smile about it.” And she does. Just. “The whole of my life has been about trying to do the right thing, being judged on the basis of what I’ve done, and this is hung round my neck, and will it ever go away? I don’t know if it ever will.”
We shall do as she asks and judge her on the basis of what she has done.
thats one ugly poster girl lad
“I became a poster girl for the expenses scandal”
If by poster girl she meant she is a common thief and cheating liar then yes I guess she could call it that.
Smith displays the worst combination of a crooked political belief system with an over arching incompetence mixed with a self serving toadying nature ever present in all newlabour third rate commissars.
I hope she dies a slow and painful death as she realises what a laughing stock she is.
She ain’t in the least bit sorry about what she’s done is she? Also remarkably relaxed considering he feminist preaching about her husband’s late night w@nK1ng sessions.
No opportunity for Mme Keen to regale the court with references to her former profession and the appealing glances of a carefount wronged? Justice shall hear of this….
When it goes to the big court lets hope it erupts ‘Untouchables’ style.
As Mr Keen demands, Capone style, “Your Honour.Is this justice?”
But wasn’t ‘having a hard time’ exactly what he wanted? Stupid woman! Her English skills are on a par with her Home Secretary skill level.
Least the judge seemed chill about it
I tend to my garden daily and think the crocus looks nice. Policy and consensus is beginning to get some traction because I have a very bad back. This pretty garden causes the lurid clams and narrow DNA of self-selecting groups like the rose parties to fade in the sunlight.
My general view is that privates are beneath me. All parties have their issues, and the winners will be the ones who provide more alcohol and sarnies. That is after you have worked closely at mining the seam of coal in reality. At the moment, I tend to think, and I am really good at it. My comments are just way above every one else’s. That party I was talking about is a Labour party come fun party, where you work and have fun at the same time.
Some people have commented on the kneed of the dough before you bake it. More crocuses are needed in industry and in putting (I’m good at golf too!). More money in the hands of the those dreadful poor people means they will demand more and labour is ahead of that curve so they definitely won’t be getting more. That is why we are taxing them at 20p instead of 10p. “In vests is loss” so close these factories as no-one wants to buy them any more. Exactly what is needed, and we are racking up all sorts of losses everywhere and that’s why we are happy to keep spending and printing more.
There is a crouching balance sheet on the bed so I told the wife to put the normal one back on. I hid Den’s assets, what a laugh that was!. LOL. I am so very funny but I also am so superior to every one on here. Come, join me and Gordon to our ultimate socialist vision.
I am so above all the irrational, emotional garbage written on this site. Please, you must be able to see this. I am such a wonderful human being, and of course I do have the really wonderful name of “Charles” as well. Aren’t I just something?
Oddly, I had you down as more of a begonia man myself.
charles is something alright
I prefer Wisterias myself
FFS if you were stuck in a lift with this clown you’d loose the will to live!!! What a fucking bore!!
dude this one is a spoof
You don’t tend your crocusses fuckwit – they’re dead. Tosser
Charles – you are a Beau di Sativa and that floor won’t sweep itself you know….
I am so glad you like my comments and have come round to mine and gordons way of thinking. Have a nice day in your garden with your crocuses. I am really wonderful, arn’t I, oh I do love myself, I’m so nice.
Christ! I know there’s often a bit of a humour deficiency among some of the posters here but for those challenged by Irony or Sarcasm look at the Hardwidge LINK.
Where does it go ?
I applaud those who often post and smuggle much amusing ironic stuff on here as they know they toil in relative obscurity for the pleasure of a minority.
Thank you so much, I love you too.
First thing I always do is check Charles’ link to see whether or not the post is going to worth reading.
I do that too. It’s a shame they can’t each have their own colour.
WHO IS Charles E Hardwidge?
He is all over the blogosphere pontificating on subjects as diverse as religion: “The Buddha Had Lousy Kung Fu”
to Game development:
“I’m an INTJ personality type, just like Steve Jobs and, trust me, you don’t want someone like me around. It’s like having someone put a gun to your head and your balls in a vice at the same time.”
Internet security:
“Two servers, one for personal, one for corporate email. Brilliant. Having two accounts is a mechanism I thought of some time ago. Nice to see someone else come with AND promote in such a public forum.”
I think it must be Ace Rimmer in disguise!
If only it were the real Charles that had a life changing event.
He could put his programming skills to good use and profit.
Imagine a 3rd person shooter for XboX and PS3 where the hero has to work his way through Westminster gunning down the various foes he meets.
Plenty of MPs with their ‘Parliamentary privilege’ protective armour and white paper lobbers. Met police commissioners. BBC reporters etc.
The main ‘Boss’ levels have their own skills.
The Hoon has an Apache Gunship
The Smith throws a sticky fluid
The Prescott has a pie bazooka
The Mandelson can become invisible and shapeshift and turn into smoke or a mirror.
The Miliband .. does nothing.
Having fought ‘Mickey the Mace’ in the chamber the hero moves on to No 11 then no 10 past the inevitable henchmen .. Watson, Mcbride,Campbell…for a confrontation with the final Game boss. The Taxer!
different skill levels
Easy : US Rangers equipment.
Medium : Indian Army equipment
Hard: UK Army equipment
Come on Charles. it could be your fortune.
Jesus,Chuckie…where the fuck do you live if your crocuses are still blooming?
Oh,of course…Neverland.
“breaking news that they were to be investigated by the Parliamentary Standards Committee”
You’re having a laugh aren’t you!
The PSC don’t ‘do’ investigations, they merely look daper and talk craper
So much for equality in the eyes of the law.
Jacqui Smith’s attempt to prepare for her political rebirth (in the Grauniad) is astonishing. Among other inanities, she reckons that sociopathic war criminal Blair was the best 20th C prime minister, and even more lick-spittlingly she puts Brown as second best. (Thatcher is third).
What an amazingly tribal assessment. What a blind, insensitive, stupid, self-serving creep of a woman. How has our political system fallen.
Go back to your constituency, my dear, and prepare for oblivion.
Brown wasn’t PM in the 20th century – oh happy days! How I miss them – come back 20th century!
Are our armed forces at risk due to under funding and therefore under resourcing? Is it correct for DC and NC to question this? I assume they are correct, but to what extent?
I know that this Government are to blame for many things as we all regularly discuss – but to what extent are they to blame for needless loss of life and injury on the front line?
I personally can not thank our service men and women enough for the sacrifice that they make and hope that they continue to be FULLY supported by our Government and people.
“… but to what extent are they to blame for needless loss of life and injury on the front line?”
I think Brown is even more responsible than Blair – after all, he held the purse strings when Blair wanted to start it. I think the price Blair paid for getting Brown’s support for the war was that it had to be done on the cheap. Now we’re seeing the consequences of this.
“Are our armed forces at risk due to under funding and therefore under resourcing?”
Go and take a look at the defence of the realm blogspot and see for yourself, the waste, incompetence, politicised purchasing of useless and inadequate kit and a whole host of rotten practices that will make you very angry indeed.
Our service personel have been utterly betrayed by ZaNuLab, just as we and this country have been.
The betrayal and pauperisation of Britain is bad enough, for people putting their lives on the line for this country, the inaction, corruption and self serving treachery of the MOD and government is intolerable.
The MOD and government have failed miserably our troops and their families, they should face a courtroom for what they have and are still doing, they will not of course, criminal negligence only applies to us, not them.
I am Sick @39
Thank you for that link to the blog. It in turn led me to something which I can scarcely believe but which is credibly true.
Lt-Col Thorneloe and his driver Trooper Joshua Hammond were killed in a fatally vulnerable Viking because the bridge network across the Shamalan canal, where the fighting is at its heaviest, was in poor repair and too weak to bear the weight of a heavier vehicle.
Ok, so money and effort should be being spent on stengthening the bridges, yes?
No.
The Dept For International Development has invested no less than £420,000 on a leisure park for women, complete with a Ferris wheel. Called Bolan Park, when it was completed just over a year ago, it had “puzzled residents” asking why so much money was being spent on leisure when the most pressing problem – security – was getting worse by the day. Said Amir Mohammad, 44, “If the international community wants our country to be prosperous, they should first worry about peace and security. Then we can have parks.” (info from eureferendum blogspot)
How does one begin to express the rage at this?
PTB’s SS, thank you for this, You forgot to mention that this superb Leisure Park for Women has not been used by women and probably won’t be; and the local men aren’t too keen on it either, as it is an ideal target for Taleban landmines.
Inappropriate at every conceivable level. Was this taxpayers’ £420,000?
To sick. Check out the interview on L.B.C. 97.3 last night . Colonel Bob Stewart told James Whale that the Army has now been put on a WAR footing by General David Richards but that this piece of information has not been made known to the troops and certainly not to the public. Guido you really need to get this piece of information out in to the public domain because as far as the top brass of the Army are concerned WE ARE AT WAR!!!!
Did he happen to mention with whom we are at war?
So, the troops don’t know that we are at WAR. I can see that this might create a few problems.
Just a point on troughing. Pursuant to my note that in terms of troughing the Royals make MP’s look like the amateurs they are, I see that the Duke of York claims over £4, 000 per week expenses. This does not include flights we also pay for, which last year were £760, 000 alone. Still, if the Queen can take something called “The Royal Train” from London to Liverpool, a snip at £14, 000 too. Still, they do a great job, what?
That’s democracy, folks!
No, it’s not democracy. It’s havin’ a larf at our expense.
The population of this country has very little say in how it is run. That’s the way it has always been. And it will continue that way until the establishment – political, legal, media, cultural – is brought to book. But who the fooks gonna do that whilst Big Brother and the Tst match are on ‘telly?
I will always prefer them to having president blair. More gravy train money for self seeking corrupt politicians
Why would the alternative to what we have necessitate President Blair? That’s so absurd as to be nonsensical. You can also vote for or against a president. You can’t vote for the Royals. Your argument is a false analogy.
all politicians are lying corrupt bastards, and you seem to be one too. Need more money for your 3 houses do you punk.
Stick to parodying the feeble minded, fake-Charles.
You do sterling work there.
Liz and Chuck can easily afford to ween themselves off the Taxpayer teet a fair bit. Troughing is Troughing. Sauce for the Grouse and all that.
Besides, Blair wouldn’t want anything as pedestrian as Britain’s President when he can dream of being President of Europe. (until he sees the inside of the Hague. Then he might just lose his European fervour)
My friend Tony said if I came up with someone with the right kind of money he would ensure the role of Head of State would go to the highest bidder.
so that where gordon spunked our money eh lad
26. I don’t have three houses and I am not an MP. Neither am I a “lying corrupt bastard” (sic). Your ad hominem attack reveals the absence of any intellect whatsoever. If MP’s are as you say they are, and I tend to agree, albeit in slightly different rhetoric, what expletives are appropriate to those whose sequestering of monies not their own makes the MP’s take look like a little joke?
I find it a comfort that the Alfred E. Newman of transatlantic sycophancy is now Squire of the hamlet of Wott no Underwood?
oh you are so right, very well intellectually put, very well articulated, if only we could all be like you
Well £0.67 each against 25% of everything I earn seems a no brainer to me….
“… 25% of everything I earn …”
And what about the remaining 75%? I reckon most of that finds its way back to the Hoons as well – VAT, fuel tax, alcohol duty, tobacco duty, etc. etc. Time to buy some piano wire I think.
67p each is it? Talking of no brainers….
While we wait for the phone-tapping private prosecutions, the DPP and Tuesdays amusing Coulson appearance in front of the Select Comittee, here’s something that should cheer up those who want to see the back of Brown.
Poll: Who is honest on cuts?
The poll found Cameron was more ‘open and honest’
Four in ten people think David Cameron is more open and honest than Gordon Brown about the need to cut public spending.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/the_daily_politics/8144138.stm
This drives a coach and horses thorough Mandy’s Election Strategy.
Which wasn’t as some thought Cuts V’s Spending since that horseshit line simply can’t be held. It was Cuts Vs Cuts or more specifically the Election was going to try and be faught on who do you trust to cut the least.
It’s basically Mandys Barber V’s Butcher strategy that would have painted Labour as the friendly Barber, snipping delicately to lose the straggly hairs of inefficient spneding practices, against the Conservatives who would be portrayed in the manner of a twitching eyed psychotic Butcher who could not wait to hack public services into Bloody pieces.
Alas! The dream is dead for Mandy and the spinners as it is finally dawning on them that any strategy involving trust simply will not work with Brown.
Though it’s yet to sink in for delusionals like Softwidge.
These Poll figures will be read with great interest not only at C.C.O. but in the Milliboy and Johnson camp too,
A Leadership challenge looks likelier by the day. Brown gone by Christmas ?
“Labour as the friendly Barber,”
More like Sweeney Todd, slitting the throats of every honest and decent citizen of this country.
” snipping delicately to lose the straggly hairs of inefficient spneding practices,” (sic )
They’ve had 12 years to cut back on wasteful spending and yet, have continued to be profligate with public money. Including giving back our rebate to the EU, so the biggest waste of our money of all, now takes IRO £40 million per day off us. Then we have the black hole that is the London Olympics = more waste. non jobs etc ad nauseum and they think they can be trusted with our money? They are deluded.
I want a revolution and I want it NOW!!!
Didn’t say I believed the spin for a microsecond and I made a point of saying it won’t work but that IS how they will be portraying it metaphorically speaking.
Some of their recent PPB’s are already skewing towards this and there will be much more of the same before next May/June believe me.
OT – but C E Hardwidge recently spouted forth the ZaNu Liebor lie that Gordon was busy stockpiling anti viral drugs to save everyone from swine flu.
Anyone noticed how all we hear from the government ‘medical Tsar’ since the death of the first otherwise healthy person to die, is ‘ don’t panic’ you can scour all the news items and no mention of any anti virals to help people.
No doubt reserved for NHS managers and MP’s!
Beware taliban bearing swine flu.
The Great Leveller is upon us, panic!! They wish, me thinks it is time to keep an eye out for some burying times of the bad news variety. Ah well back to the telescopic sights……
I have brightened your morning on this dull day. However Charles has other important things to tend to. I know you would rather want me to write more of my wonderful comments but alas Gordon has summoned me. hey, don’t fret, I’ll be around tomorrow and we can have a more intimate chat then. Goodbye followers and have a wonderful weekend. Oh I am so nice, isn’t life wonderful, gee it’s a shame you can’t all be like me, I really am something…………
I think the real Charles is more entertaining and does more damage to the cause he claims to espouse than any parady of him ever could.Dores he post at the weekends or is the council office closed over that period ?
Kindergartens are mostly closed at weekends,so no web access
Which everone you are, you’re a waste of pixels…..
All over then, so the baying mob of right wing thugs and the peeping tom will have to find something else to do.
Of course, not everyone has a demanding full-time job like being the Keens’ Number One (only?) Supporter, Apologist, Sycophant and Groupie – despite not even living in their constituency!
A brief perusal of the Forum comments at http://www.brentfordtw8.com would no doubt quickly reveal the actual identity of He who is Terribly Keen on the Keens…
Are you perchance the convicted NF thug who is totally obsessed with Ann Keen? No wonder she has to be careful with people like you about.
AWWWWKK! WAA-AARRKK! OOZEAPRETTYBOYZEN?
Not even close, Stazi-boy. Better go through your mugshot files again!
Sorry colon, my reply is further down.
Never thought I’d ever say that there are limits to free speech, but Hardwidge has pushed me to it. It’s what C.S. Lewis called ‘the miserific vision’ — the worst torment of hell is having to look at the devil. Imagine having to look steadily into the face of Alfred E. Neuman for ever and ever.
It’s hard enough having to trail through hundreds of comments, 90 per cent of them idiotic. Mostly I have given up reading them at all.
Dear Guido, can’t you make it *really* hard to comment, so that only those who have something worthwhile to say can jump through the hoops? Or would that leave only Hardwidge commenting?
There really is a problem and it’s getting worse daily.
I posted a Poll on this thread which showed Cameron is more trusted on spending cuts than Brown. But sadly it also included some analysis on why Mandy’s Election strategy was doomed to fail because of it.
For whatever reason (too many words ?) this meant it fell foul of Guidos moderation and has been deleted and censored. Yet he keeps Softwidges rants ?
There’s some pretty strange thinking when it comes to the moderation here that’s for sure. But Guido must know what he’s doing. After all who cares if Brown or Cameron is more trusted on a Political Gossip site.
I hear John Prescott has a rather large Bottom gossip fans!
Bum Prescott. Tee hee.
That’s unfair actually. Sorry. It’s still in the “awaiting moderation” queue.
But it’s getting bafflingly hard to tell what will or won’t get through the moderation these days. I seem to remember even just using the word “drunkken” (sic) triggered the awaiting moderation wrath for hours for reasons passing understanding.
I do so very much hope that the penultimate sentence is not some kind of warped lifestyle instruction.
It’s a pun! (almost) And therefor comedy at it’s finest.
Besides, there’s warped lifestyles and then there’s psychotic mental illness which such an instruction in regards to Prescott would definitely indicate.
There are SOME limits surely ?
Whatever a persons lifestyle choice or sexual orientation.
That’s unfair actually. Sorry. It’s still in the “awaiting moderation” queue.
No, it is I who should apologise for the use of the word ‘lifestyle’, my point could have been made just as easilly without it.
Like I suggested on another thread, give the serial wind-ups and agents provocateurs a direct linking to a site of their own for a week. Banning them outright would be soo New Labour.
It’s an attractive idea. But didn’t LabourList have something a bit similar when it started? A ‘rejected comments’ section that you had to click to access, containing comments that weren’t sufficiently On Message, but were not actually hostile — these never saw the light of day, of course.
Still, honestly applied, a ‘dregs’ page to which the likes of Hardwidge, and the inevitable ‘get yer tits out’ stuff was diverted would be a useful way of relieving the pressure. I wouldn’t mind much if my occasional senile ramblings went that way; it would be a lesson not to witter.
But someone would have to do the diversion, a horrible task.
Guido ask, stilyagi do.
Sorry. Not ringo’s masterpiece, ringo’s song, crafted for him by the that other bloke. err… you know, not Lennon.
ah yes, gerry marsden
It’s tough because you are all so similar. I’m guessing then that you may be wee colon. It doesn’t really matter though, you all belong to the same small group. Did the peeping tom share any good piccies with you?
Only those campaign pics of a young Sharon Gless trying to pass herself off as the venerable Mrs Keen…or was it the other way round???
AARRRRKK! SKWAAAA-RKK!
Seems the local peeping tom is claiming all the credit for this sorry episode, boasting about how he exposed the fact that a house under going major renovation was, not surprisingly, empty. Anybody know where Tom lives? I’ll organise a rave there.
There was an awful lot of Policemen involved in this most important of operations. From outside the court house to the storming of the bank (sorry first home) Plus a Policeman on guard all yesterday. Will the Keens be paying for this or is a personal police force a perk of being nu-labor. Also they were represented by Robert Latham of Doughty Street Chambers who was recently judged to be “Lawyer of the Year” now he sounds like he accepts Legal Aid so who will be paying his costs
Sod this. Who has the peeping toms address? I want the rave of the year to take place there next weekend.
And whilst these Greedy bastards are claiming second home allowance from the tax payer our young men are being killed daily in Helman through lack of equipment that our government are too cheepskate to provide from our taxes.
Is that sick or what they are beyond shame