Jonah’s Sticky Wicket: Plea to Lobby Hacks from Cricket Fans
Mrs Fawkes will, Guido suspects, be cheering for Australia, her husband doesn’t have a dog in the Ashes fight. So this plea is made at the heartfelt request of many English co-conspirators: can hacks please refrain from asking the PMS at this morning’s Lobby briefing if the Prime Mentalist is backing the English cricket team? The players have a difficult enough challenge ahead of them without the Jonah jinx on their backs as well. We really, really don’t need to know what Wacko Jocko thinks of the English cricket team…
eh up guido good ashes thread
oh guido its the english and wales cricket team
Shouldn’t you be in the nets?
Oaf GuidOrcs you know that’s just not cricket. Knock it off.
Smear tactics differ from normal discourse or debate in that they do not bear upon the issues or arguments in question. A smear is a simple attempt to malign a group or an individual and to attempt to undermine their credibility.
YOU are a Smear in the underpants of life !
we won the toss batting first
If you are the real MB then have you followed my instructions to stop smearing yourself a la Mark Oaten. Now troll off back to your cave till I call you for Luncheon.
I would like to give Katherine Jenkins a full toss in the crease.
Smears often consist of ad hominem attacks in the form of unverifiable rumors and are often distortions, half-truths, or even outright lies; smear campaigns are often propagated by gossip spreading.
Interesting Master Baiter, thank you for those extracts from the McBride Dictionary of Political Terms.
@ 65 If you ever get the opportunity make sure you’ve got ear defenders:-)
112
Yes, we can really respect his opinion on this.
After all, wasn’t it Master Baiter himself who spread a false rumour of a leadership challenger. Was that done on purpose for the sake of party discipline?
Tin pot, your assertion is false.
Have another dollop on the raison d’etre of this blog.
Sometimes smears are not only aimed at slandering the opponent. Dishing the dirt against your candidate’s opponent can be effective at alienating voters in order to turn them off from the entire project. These tactics may reduce turnout in order to assure your candidate gains by having his/her core voters show up at the polls; thus, an operative molds the outcome by angering everyone.
Smearing worked very well for ZaNu in their personal attacks on Thatcher when they had lost the intellectual arguments. Of course now the socialists are whingeing at the personal attacks on McDebt. They gave it out but can’t take it.
Brown Smears are the worst.
142 Baiter.
Which of the following is not true:
a) That Guido was incorrect to say that Jonathon Prior phoned him up to give a story about a potential labour party leadership candidate.
b) You’re Jonty.
Is it true that the Great Helmsman had wished Brett Lee all the best?
How I love the sound of balls on leather.
one of George Osbornes better quotes I think.
Jonah’s passport should be suspended for a week.
Let the loon stay in Italy.
I support England in the Ashes
I support a Britain of nations ( Scotland and Wales ) and regions ( the country formally known as England ) which is as it should be.
No no its not “as it should be” it is right. That is the correct mantra to use.
Gordon, have a day off.
Just phone in sick.
Don’t pronounce any new bollocks or any old bollocks repackaged as new bollocks. Don’t spend any money on anything. Don’t start an inquiry into something or commission a report into anything at all. Just for today, don’t go anywhere or visit anything or meet with anyone, open any building or announce any new regulations.
Just stay home. Stay home doing nothing.
No interviews, statements, press releases, PMQ’s, Public broadcasts, initiatives, relaunches, policy decisions, U-Turns, ideas, condolences or good luck messages.
Just stay home and have the day off. Haresperson can get beaten up at PMQs instead of you. No one will care. She’s as crap at it as you are so it won’t damage you further. And you’ll get a laugh when she says her set piece response at the wrong moment.
Have a day off Gordon.
Because when you have a day off, we all get a day off.
Wise words.
‘There wasn’t nothing strange about your Daddy. What was strange was what your Daddy had to deal with. But he dealt with it anyway.’
Faux ‘cleric’ Al Sharpton talking about Mikaell Jackoff. The racist ‘Rev’ probably thinks Girdon is pretty normal – at least for someone who isn’t ‘a brother’.
Let the loon stay in Italy.
What is striking is that ZaNu continue to saddle themselves with Gordoom “end to boom’n'bust” Brown. If they ditched McDebt they would have an immediate recovery in their electoral fortunes.
Provided they reversed McDebt’s loony policies like his raid on pensions, his useless tripartite regulations, ID cards/database, broken promise on Lisbon, the 10 per cent tax hike, his capitulation to the new EU financial power grab, and his stupid commitment to carry on racking up more debt.
Fuck off, Psycholops. Your kiss of death is the last thing we need. Hunt!
“Jonah – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”
I have noticed half-hearted attempts for this Real and Present Jinx to become a MSM story, when it does it may reduce the 23% who will vote for this shower of shit at the next GE, we must spread the word, letters to local papers etc
No, no a thousand times NO!
There’s a chance we might actually win if they keep their mouths shut!
A Reminder of the Faecal Touch
When England were knocked out of the 2006 World Cup against Portugal – Jonah was there. When they lost 2-1 at Wembley against Germany – Jonah was there. When Scotland lost to Italy- Jonah was there. When England lost the rugby World Cup final – Jonah was there.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Jonah Brown Visits Sellafield, Nuclear Leak Discovered
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Jonah Knocks Out Ricky Hatton
Andy Murray, Britain’s No. 1 tennis player, met Jonah Brown in late April, the next week he crashed out of the Rome Masters tournament in the first round. His worst result since last August.
The Curse of the One-Eyed Son of the Manse has now seen Fiji suspended from the Pacific Forum due to the fact it hasn’t held elections. Something Gordon has in common with the Fijian regime…
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
2008 Gordon lands in America in the morning and the dollar crashes to an all time historic low by lunchtime:
2009 Gordon lands in Washington and the Dow crashes to an historic low by teatime:
Saturday, February 28, 2009
England fans will have been despondent knowing that on Wednesday the England rugby team visited Downing Street. They were doomed as a result.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Jonah Brown Sinks Southampton. Gordon’s visit to Southampton is not without casualties:42 dock workers are to be axed at ABP … equivalent to 10% of the workforce
You’ve obviously not heard of the Pareto principal: he discovered that many factors can be apportioned in the ratio 80:20.
So 20 per cent of the voters are insane and will therefore “opt” for more socialism (“duh, I wuz born ZaNu, duh”). You are stuck with them.
And will the BBC stop going on and on about how we won the Ashes in 2005. What they need to broadcast is endless footage of England’s 5-0 defeat 2 years ago accompanied by bloodcurdling cries for revenge.
And the runs that won it were from an Australian fielding error on an attempted run out.
What a waste of MBEs.
Shane Warne, greeting to Paul Collingwood,
“You got an MBE, right? For scoring seven at the Oval? That’s embarrassing.”
Chronic is not a cute name.
Chronic is not a cute name.
So says someone likes to be known as a wanker!
Not cute at all.
Now you’re being obtuse.
Yawn, yawn, ever so yawn.
But does Jonah know that Cardiff is not in England?
Doesn’t matter – as far has he is concerned the UK is in Scotland – FREE ENGLAND
The bugger will send his best wishes – just to spite us.
You damn well know it – oh bugger.
Don’t forget to confront any hate speech, you pathetic lump.
RACIST! Your homogenophobia sickens me!
Master Baiter’s comments in this blog are complete non-sequiters, which leads me to suggest they are being auto-generated by a Labour blogging engine.
Damian pulling the strings from Nice. Got to justify that civil service salary somehow.
I wish you were right, but I fear there is a real person here, pouring out this incoherent shite at public expense. MB if you are doing this on public money, we will get you.
Let’s not be uncharitable.
M B has kindly aired extracts from Labour’s dirty tricks manual, as so tediously practised by Manky’s underlings on here.
Here you, get inside, it’s past your bedtime and you’ve not done your homework.
His supporters are always telling us what a great sense of humour he has in private. Why not, if asked the question, say something like “People are telling me that I am some sort of jinx, so bearing that in mind, I’d like to give the Australian team my best wishes!”
Mrs Fawkes is one of refined taste and patriotism becomes her well.
Incidentally, why is England playing against Australia in the Welsh capital. I didn’t know that the adherents of the Tom Jones National Church liked cricket, or had a stadium for that matter.
(Oh, and the reason for the nom de plume is evident if you tour fashionable coastal parts of Sydney and the [entire] Gold Coast. Stay away from Tasmania…ghastly!)
Cricket is the summer game in Wales. We play it whenever it is not raining.
They should play it in Snowdonia at night in the middle of winter downhill wearing kilts.
No self respecting man would have anything to do with an Australian woman.
Pete – Holly Valance, the Minogue gals – err.. i’m done – that’s a party that should never stop, drool drool
Would you refuse the delights of the bed offered by a tight-waisted, firm-buttocked, ample-bosomed, long-legged, creamy-skinned, alluringly blue-eyed blonde bimbo from Surfers Paradise over national animosity?
Are you Mandelson?
Ask anyone who has had anything to do with them, they’re a mess.
It’s to do with the historical imbalance in the male to female ratio, it’s screwed their psyche.
It’s up to you, but don’t say you haven’t been warned.
They even wash less than English wimmin. And that blaaddy voice!
Why is Welsh lamb superior to English lamb?
Welsh lamb comes with extra protein in the rump.
It’s the way our indigenous population “rears” them
Nice rare bit
More Chernobyl leftovers?
So says Dame Edna?
The ECB include Monmouthshire.
Before 1973 Monmouthshire alternated from being either English OR Welsh on a rota basis. If you look at the border between it is VERY roughly 2/3 English 1/3 Welsh.
However, when Callaghan’s Labour government first mooted a re-organisation of Local Government it was decided to put Monmouthshire perminently in Wales. It was also mooted that Herefordshire should be enlarged to include that part of N. Gloucester that encompassed the Forest of Dean. That last bit was actually a good idea, but then Politics GOT (sic) in the way.
In 1973 we had Heath and the EEC and all that, and the Tory MPs for Hereford and Worcester ( Gibson-Watt and Prior) interfered and we ended up with probably the biggest cobble up which became the (all together..) Herefordshire and Worcester County Council, an area 40mls x 80mls which encroached into Birmingham (later to become the dreaded Region of The West Midlands).
Back to the ECB.
Monmouth, now perminently part of Wales was renamed Gwent ( don’t ask why, I’ve no idea…) and so the the ECB is now technically the E&WCB.
Blame Callaghan and Labour.
e&oe
There is also Glamorgan Cricket Club or Criced Morgannwg as it is correctly known in honour of the great WG.
Who Cares?
Only the English could invent the most boring game on the planet.
The English invented – Primentalist Baiting and Let’s Get Jocko In The Asylum Soon
Now that is a class sport
And only the Jocks would have invented caber tossing.
Don’t bloody watch it then you twat!
Is cricket the last bastion of the dying breed of shirtlifters formally known as white englishman.
RACIST! Quite frankly, people with beliefs like yours don’t belong on this site, and are not welcome, despite our inclusiveness strategy. I suggest you try Labourlist for the venting of your outdated, divisive dinosaur brand of petit Fascism.
Homogenophobic scum!.
stilyagi_air_corps
Just what the fuck does a retard like you consider racist?
Anything that shows the spineless Englishman for what they are is considered racist in your tiny little mind but all other nationalities are fair game.
You give Hoon’s a bad name.
methinks you will be banned anticitizen/styliagi.
pretty sure of it actually.
SHAME! SHAME! SHAME! by adding the hate-crime tactics of ABLEISM to your arsenal of RACIAL PREJUDICE, division and spite, you only serve to reveal yourselves as BxP or even N&W L*B$UR voters or sympathisers. It is hight time that evil scum like you are banished to the pages of 1940′s history where you so rightly belong!
“Methinks you will be banned” There speaks the authentic voice of socialism: can’t argue; won’t argue – ban it!
tat is a mouth frothing fascist as well as a sexist.
T-Boy So you have a problem with whites, gays, people with mental handicaps, Englishmen, and people who call you racist. Dead right you are racist. And homophobic, spiteful and ignorant into the bargain.
And this tat isn’t the real one – he’s got more sense. No reason at all why sac should be banned.
I think a revokation order will be made against you aswell bird brain budgie.
take your rants elsewhere you imbecile.
thankyou.
Have you ever tried explaining to a Yank how a game can last 5 days and still end up a draw.
have you ever tried explaining to a yank how a war can last for eight years and still be lost?
Afghanistan is gordon brown’s Vietnam.
we did not support the americans in Vietnam and we should not support them in Afghanistan either.
brown should be setioned for being a danger to British troops and Afghanistan civilians.
the war in Afghanistan is lost.
brown’s a loser aswell as a A JONAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EVERYTHING HE TOUCHES TURNS TO SHIT!
Even if you had supported the Americans, we would still have won.
“Even if you had supported the Americans, we would still have won.”
said the lunatic.
“we did not support the americans in Vietnam ”
Well you damn well should have done.
nah.
Trouble is, the government don’t read their history books. We’ve been trying to subdue the Afghans for c300 years, and never been successful. We’ll eventually have to withdraw with our tail between our legs, older, wiser, and poorer. The worst aspect is. though, the loss of life, on both sides. Our new ‘Sergeant Major’ Minister Bob Ainsworth has been on air spouting inanities.
It was alright until they brought in 24 hr cricket, and started taking it seriously by getting paid and all that. It was the Indians what done it. Cricket should be played within sight of an English Cathedral, time for tea, sun just out, distant voice of the umpire and crack of the bat, the odd handkerchief on the head of a man dozing in a striped deck chair, and the clock strikes three. That’s how cricket should be.
Don’t knock the cricket. It’s helped me get off to sleep many a long night.
O/T but another unelected Gormless ‘goat’ gives himself out.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/politics/article6663395.ece
Rats leaving a sinking ship or rather crashing gravy train.
Morning folks.
good morning nell.
and how are your beautiful buttocks today?
quivering with anticipation at the prospect of a good spanking I suspect.
I am confident that you will submit and be my sex slave eventually.
they all do in the end nell, you are only delaying the inevitable.
Do us all a favour and change the record, TaT. It’s getting very boring.
You are Josef Fritzel
not for me it isn’t, I’m having a right laugh.
you boring old duffer, bugger off.
hold on… hmm… is that you nell, posing under another name?
so you are into role playing, eh?
what fun!
you kinky bugger!
well I’m up for it.
shall I dress up as batman?
Sexual harassmant is a serious offence. You could be arrested for less. We’re sending someone round to examine your hardrive for indecent images.
Stand by.
I am free this evening.
shall we say drinks 7pm sharp at the Oxo tower?
I will be holding a folded copy of the times under my arm and I will be carrying a walking stick that looks like a cane.
what will you wear to let me know who you are?
something skimpy would be nice.
So someone who actually knows something about international diplomacy departs, leaving in charge and without fetters the most inept, childish and ill-informed Foreign Secretary in my memory. Brilliant.
How dare you – don’t you know this is the government of all the talents
Is GOAT the collective noun for Hoons?
GOAT is the acronym for Gordon Only Appoints Tossers.
Oi I resemble that remark !!
He’ll be handing back his peerage, presumably?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!! LOL !!
I understand from the E&W Cricket Board’s PR man that the First Test was deliberately timed to coincide with the G8 meeting – hence the term – “bowled through the G8″
However – out of respect – the Right Honourable Mr Brown MP will be asked to bowl left-arm spin in the final over of Australia’s second innings if England (& Wales & all the Regions) looks like winning!
It isn’t cricket in more ways than one.
The Liberal Democrats and Alan Johnson speak with one voice on electoral reform.
(See Guido’s links for Alan Johnson’s article).
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/jul/07/voters-electoral-reform-politics
Lib Dem Voice took me to the Guardian article.
An unholy Left wing alliance is in the making.
The Guardian article states that turnout is low because of the voting system, but fails to present any evidence to support the statement.
Why not have a poll to find out the answer?
I think turnout is low because no -one trusts politicians or political parties to do anything other than follow their own agenda with complete contempt for the electorate the minute the results are announced.
There is not that much difference between the three main parties. They are all shifty and devious, they all break promises, and they all look after their own interests before those of the electorate.
Yup !!!
Yep – just reading “Triumph of the Political Class” by Peter Oborne – quite an eye opener. Follow his line of argument and you can see we are governed by traitors who pay no attention to what we the people want on topics such as immigration and the EU, no matter which party is in Government.
Sounds right to me.
7.06 pm in Sydney. Trying not to dring too much too early. The tension is rising.
Dringing can be very hazardous to your health.
Dringing xxxx is like having sex in a canoe, fucking close to water.
No-one drinks xxxx in Sydney, Chronic – that dreadful stuff is only for those banana benders up North!
Bounce off back to Kangarooland and find your own right-wing socially libertarian, economically neo-liberal political commentary blog, we have enough angst tormenting us here trying to clear out Gordon’s rubbish, you lot are being led by a man who formerly collected rubbish from the roadside as livelihood, and I’m not referring to the white-pated circus curiosity at the top federally.
Sounds like you are worried? 3-1 the Aussies.
Thats the range of the Aussie IQ.
Too right mate, we can sometimes be a few dollops short of a full sauce bottle.
Bloody oath!
Struth!!!!!!!!!
2 more schooners down since 7.06. Just sculling another with the BAD news the toss is lost. Who said GB gave us best wishes? Bastard.
How do you and your countrymen consume the thirty minutes in each day when you’re not pissed?
I’m at work at my trading desk – 7 screens, 1 on the cricket. BTW just selling down UK stuff. You blokes are stuffed. That Welsh bird just singing the Anthem can emigrate here any day.
Katherine Jenkins. She’s ours. Keep your filthy paws off.
Winning the toss is a good omen. I really believe we can win the series now!
There seems to be some confusion regarding venues
I understand the first test was originally planned to start in Sydney – CAPITAL OF NEW SOUTH WALES
By mistake – the Authorities – have selected Cardiff – the CAPITAL of WALES
Is this the work of the Prince of Darkness?
PS – GB has said we will win the Tour de France
What? All of us?
That’ll be the green jersey up the spout.
Over the next few days, there will be frequent showers (of tears) centred on Cardiff and, in particular, the Australian Dressing Room.
This phenomenon is set to be repeated at regular intervals over the next few weeks at verious cricket grounds across the country.
What a shame! Cato fervently hopes though that these outbursts will not spoil the Ashes contest.
oooops, meant ‘various’.
Oh! Is there a cricket match starting today somewhere?
Stupid girl, Pike!
your turn to make the teas.
Silly mid off to you two too…..!
Fancy a googly in the gully?
did master baiter win the toss?
cheeky.
Morning Tat – are you a cricket fan?
Morning, NG. Do you have two long legs?
Yes, last time I looked! why?
Well, that’s better than two short square legs.
Ha Ha Ha, be careful Eng, you on a sticky wicket…
Sorry NG, no offence meant. Just couldn’t resist.
I think I’ve had worse on here Engineer ….You a gentleman
am I a cricket fan new gir?
you should see me dressed in my whites.
I don’t think you would be able to resist me as I am a very handsome fellow.
When Brown was in the rugby team at Kirkcaldy High we had to poke one of his eyes out to stop him playing as his absence was the only way of giving us a winning chance.
We’re screwed anyway – even the curse of the Jonah couldn’t drag this team down further!
Oh really Guid’s,
It was a ready made excuse to explain away an embarrasing defeat.
Any way cricket is safe.
As the game is being played is Wales, it comes under Welsh affiars and is therefore only commentable in the Welsh Assembley not Westminster.
The Prime Mentalist is therefore barred from uttering any comment.
Unfortunately we cannot expect the same from those money grubbing bastards, the Kinncoks.
Mmmm, but the Kinnocks, for all that they’re money-grubbing faux-socialists, don’t have the occult powers of Gorgon Brown. He can curse you with a look! His good wishes are practically a death warrant! Flee for your lives if he ever comes near your homes……
And for heaven’s sake never let him look on your first-born, or your cows.
He would have burned at stake a few centuries ago.
The one-eyed man-witch from Kirkaldy…….fear him.
So the first Test, which is traditionally played at Lord’s, is being played at Cardiff, an unproven venue for a Test. Why?
Because Glamorgan bought the approval of the Major Match Group with £3.2.million and let’s not forget that the ECB Chairman at the time was one David Morgan a welshman who had previously been Chairman of Glamorgan CC and is now Chairman of the ICC. Wheels within wheels.
Politics in cricket are just as murky as they are at Wesminster. We should have stuck with tradition.
but there is a chance we will win in Cardiff Nell
Nell, not too bothered as long as Swann and Panesar spin us to a 1-0 lead. (Strauss and Cooke going well so far – every single cheered.)
But nell, recent history suggests that we normally lose that first Test at Lords – maybe having it somewhere else is not such a bad thing after all. Ask again on Sunday afternoon though!
Nobody watching the Tour de France? These are real fit men, not like your whingeing, whining, over paid cricket players.
I was once asked to explain the game of cricket at an international meeting comprising 24 nationalities in the Swiss alps. Was given 10 seconds notice, a
microphone & a flip chart. Tricky test it was but managed to pull it off.
Ha ha bet you’d have still left me bemused…..
NG, it’s simple really…
You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that’s in the side that’s in goes out, and when he’s out he comes in and the next man goes in until he’s out.
When they are all out, the side that’s out comes in and the side that’s been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in.
There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out.
When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game.
ohhhhhh! Now I get it! But why do they play with that ball that you can’t actually see, so you don’t know what’s happening, and hurts you when your horrible brothers chuck it at you?
Can you please explain the offside rule as it pertains to cricket?
Girlie, good news for you, there’s no offside rule in cricket!
Eng 97-3 27ovs at lunch by the way
Why do cricketers constantly rub that red ball up and down their inner thigh? Perhaps it’s the only place they can polish their balls?
I once tried to explain cricket to an American girl sitting in the street outside the Gare du Nord. It was a complete shambles despite the fact that we were both stoned.
For talking about cricket?
That’s a bit harsh.
This just in…..
Dear English Cricket
As a representative of the Scottish Cricket Association, I would like to inform you that we wish to change the way the English Cricket team is managed to bring it more in line with the way our Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, is running Britain.
This will involve the following:
1. The Manager of the Scottish team is allowed to be involved with the running of the English team. However, the manager of the English team should have no say whatsoever in the running of the Scottish team. This shall be known as the West Lothian Question.
2. A sizable proportion of any money the English Cricket Association raises from, say sponsorship or crowd takings, shall be given to the Scottish Cricket Association, regardless as to whether you need it or not. This does not apply the other way round. This is known as the Barnett Formula.
3. You are not to call yourself England any longer. You will now be known as the British Regions. We, on the other hand, are still to be known as Scotland, “a proud and noble nation”.
4. Medical treatment to your players will be limited to a few treatments because of cost. No such stringent limitation applies to Scotland.
5. If your playing surfaces are flooded, then do not expect much assistance. However, Scottish pitches will be adequately provided for in the event of flooding.
6. From this moment on, the English Cricket Association will cease to exist. However, the Scottish Cricket Association will be allowed to continue to work independently.
A failure to follow these rules will see you branded as arrogant, selfish and unfair.
I’m sure you will find this to your satisfaction. After all, you seem to be happy with this state of affairs with your political system, so why not your Cricket team?
Yours sincerely
Mr G Brown.
PS You English are so naïve, you are being abolished and don’t even realise it.
fucking funny but true lad
Ha ha ha very funny, in a strictly soul destroying, depressing way….
Excellent and sadly even the more funny because it is true.
NEW BALLS PLEASE
Not until you’ve had 80 overs, lad.
Yes, Boss ??
With any luck, Broon falls into the 99% of British people who are entirely unaware that the world’s greatest sporting event – ie; le Tour de France – started at the weekend because British riders are doing rather well at the moment.
Where’s France?
Shhhhhhhhhhhhh give ‘em a chance.
Just shows how far the Scottish mafia in New Labour have trashed England when they have to leave their country to find a suitable place to hold a game of cricket.
Would the Jocks stand for holding their Highland games in Brighton? I think NOT.
Tossing cabers in Brighton could get you into quite a lot of trouble.
Especially if you are wearing a kilt.
Oi, don’t knock Brighton. I’ve got the bizzies Coming to visit(rozers-for you southerners:Shit!!I’m one now after twelve years). Live behind Brighton centre and HAVE to be I.D.ed and interviewed to demonstrate I’m no terrorist. As a transgender Mooslim of African descent am bound to get a kicking!! Oh well all worth it to live in such a free country
love. Dixie(ms)
do I have any rights? Can someone please advise.
Just get wacko Jocko to wish the Ausssies all the best,
lay every penny you have with Ladbrooks and you will be quids in.
Wacko Jocko – brilliant
Does he sleep with boys like his namesake?
Who’d have him?
Oo, oo, me please.
This isn’t cricket Mr Fawkes, that died out when the terrestrial TV station lost the transmission contracts. It’s now an outlet for betting exchanges to take millions off punters stupid enough to hand over their money and for Murdoch to screw dosh out of Sun readers n all.
Long live Test Match Special. Can listen and blog at same time. Work? Later, perhaps…
Likewise. No dosh going to Murky in this house. TMS is a precious thing to be treasured.
Gordon Brown is now officially the most unpopular bastard in the last 733 years.
Who was in front 734 years ago?
Edward ‘Longshanks’ I wasn’t popular in Scotland at around that time
Oh yeah, he was a miserable git too wasn’t he?
Very pro-Jewish, though, wasn’t he? The very first Zionist, you might say.
You do know that Brown induced his mouth gape by repeatedly trying to cut his own sock?
I thought it wasn’t induced; it resulted from an operation to correct a cleft skull that went wrong.
Just tried to get Gorgon on the phone, but evidently he’s having a dry nappy put on before PMQs
If Kevin Rudd wishes the Australian team good luck, it should cancel out. He is another useless socialist windbag.
If Brown wishes both teams luck, we could end up with five rained-off draws.
You see, that is what I don’t get about cricket! Why are they afraid of the slightest drop of rain? Let ‘em play on, the slippy sliding would add to the entertainment factor.
It’s not too good for the bowlers if the balls get wet. They can’t keep control as easily.
Yes, that’s what I meant…
And it can dangerous for the batsmen if the balls are flying around uncontrollably. Mind you, they do have helmets, these days…
Meant that too Engineer
engineer stop pestering new girl.
she’s mine.
and nell is too.
I am a greedy bugger.
and you are an old fart now leave my ladies alone.
tat, you couldn’t even score in a brothel, so stop hassling the ladies on here – just because this is the closest you can get to talking to women doesn’t mean you have to inflict yourself on the other 125,000 readers of Guido’s blog…
Just caught one, (ball) in the slips.
steve, you are just a jealous tramp.
shut up slag.
TOP BOY WILL NOT TAKE BACK CHAT FROM ALCOHOLIC TRAMPS LIKE YOU STEVE.
now get back in your doorway and sip your cider.
there’s a good tramp.
maybe one day you will be able to afford to live in a house, with a garden and everyfink.
until then shut it hobo.
and Rudd looks like Alan Carr
Surely as a Scot, he should be cheering for the Aussies, as every one of my Scottish friends is doing?
Please Gordon, can you do the right Scottish thing and wish Ricky Ponting and his team the best of luck for the forthcoming Ashes series…
Steve, you got Scottish friends? More than one, too??
Worse than that NG, I’ve got Scottish family too – let’s just say that sales of green and gold shirts have gone up north of the border. They don’t care about cricket but make sure they support anyone playing England at any sport!
Is green and gold our colour? Bemused…. I though they all wore white..with grass stains
Perfidious Jocks. The Welsh down in Cardiff are supporting England. I guess they’re not small-minded like those ingrates north of the border.
They’re just jealous.
NG, green and gold are the Aussies. When they’re playing in a one day or 20/20 game rather than a Test, they wear coloured shirts like these http://www.worldcricketstore.com/acatalog/australia_cricket_shirts.html
so steve is a scotch tramp.
thought so.
How did Scotland get on in the 20-20?
They have a team??
Broon is no “Jock” or “Jocko” he is a filthy Brit.
Better than a thieving reject Kangaroo shagger.
O/T, but here’s a suggestion for fixing the UK’s economy.
Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties, corporate sponsorship and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them each £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire. Ten million job openings – Unemployment fixed
2) They MUST buy a new British built car. Ten million cars ordered – Car Industry fixed
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage – Housing Crisis fixed
4) They MUST send their kids to school/university – Crime rate fixed
5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week … and there’s your money back in duty/tax etc
It can’t get any easier than that!
If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances…
Scallywag for PM! Scallywag for PM! Scallywag for PM! Scallywag for PM!
You’re a political genius, and I would vote for you.
Ahh, but the money is already spent. Good luck finding some more!
Just the small problem of costing £10 trillion, of course. Otherwise, perfect!
Small beer
Is it ?? Accountancy is n’t my strongest suit.
Justice isn’t my strong suit either.
Scallywag – I assume you are a 51 year old smoker/heavy drinker who wants to retire in a hurry???
1.Get the government to print debt free money and cut out the interest paid on every pound printed to the bank of ‘England’.
2. Remove the fraud of fractional reserve banking by passing legislation that forces the banks to carry resrves to cover their loans.
3. Take the power to control the money supply from the central privately owned banks and the boom and bust cycle would truly be history.
I’m voting for this guy!
So that’s why ‘they’ assassinated you, is it?
• The Cricket Match
Well I won the toss and I put her in
I soon got in the groove
And as the wicket was quite damp
The ball began to move.
Well I bowled her balls both fast and slow
We both were cricket lovers.
And when I once began to tire
She stroked me through the covers
Well her action really was so smooth
Though it was quite chest on.
And when she got the ball to turn
I knew I’d not last long.
So I began to have a thrash
My score did quickly mount.
She flicked my bails and cried “Howzat!”
But I was not quite out.
Well now this girl increased her pace;
I couldn’t deal with that.
She thundered in – before I knew
My middle stump was flat.
Very good. I might try this as an explaination of cricket to my girlfirend!!
Its something that you get on radio 4 long wave that makes you wish the archers was on instead.
NOTE: I don’t listen to the archers.
I fucking hate it on the backbenches!
wait until you end up on the park benches…
Is it because your fat arse doesn’t quite fit?
Ask your husband to try the sofa.
English team, moore like the united nations playing in a foreign land.
The sooner there is an English cricket board the better.
To many Zimbabweans been around for too long,
Dear All
Hopefully Gordon Brown will curse the cricket mob, this will ensure more votes against him at the General Election.
So let us cheer him on!
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
If Guido doesn’t have a ‘ dog in the Ashes fight’ and Mrs Fawkes will be supporting the exiled cons, I suggest he re-brand himself with a less English(and Yorkshire) hero if we are so distasteful as to not deserve support?
Is it just me or has anyone else noticed that both Gordon and Peter are gay?
Guido, you’ve pulled a whole series of posts which were doing you no harm and which related to a Tory trougher by the name of Coleman. Pray tell me why they were deleted.
[...] fawkes, the political blogger has this to [...]