+++ Swine Flu in the Treasury +++
The HM Treasury intranet has just flashed up a warning that they have identified a staff member with a suspected case of Swine Flu.
Not to be confused with the economic forecasts of flying pigs…
What’s the Point of Our Anti-Business Secretary? | Ruth Porter
Krugman is Seductive, Simplistic and Unrealistic | Jeremy Warner
Lower Taxes, Higher Growth, the Statistical Evidence | CPS
Bash the Unions, Gatecrash the Quangos | ConservativeHome
I Told You So: Euro is Doomed | Douglas Carswell
PM Speaks for the Nation When Bashing Balls | Quentin Letts
Time for an Alliance | Dan Hannan
Farage’s Plan | ConservativeHome
Guardian Open News is a Failure | Heather Brooke
Balls Calls for Deeper Cuts | Speccie
Lessons from the Thirties | CPS
PMQs Idiots | Harry Cole
Jon Cruddas is Not the Messiah | Dan Hodges
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Lord Lamont told ITV News…
“I think the PM is just human and Ed Balls is a pretty irritating person”
And also not to be confused with pigs with their snouts in our trough. I hope they all feckin’ catch it!
I heard this coming from Iain Dale’s house last night:
Well anonymous that was macho of you. Guido can you out this arsehole please?
Go fuck yourself, prick. Where can I find said application?
Go fuck yourself, go fuck yourself, go fuck yourself you sad little virgin
Coneyisland – you took the words out of my mouth with your first sentence! I agrre with your second sentence 100% too.
Which particular Treasury officials did you think had their snouts in the trough?
thought swine flu started at parlimant ?
It all started in America remember
Let’s hope they’re all knocked for six. Where’s McMental when we need him at the Treasury?
That’s what happens when you tell too many porkies.
Oh God. I hope everyone is OK.
I’m worried sick.
Me too. Let us all hope and pray that The Chancellor doesn’t catch it in case he spreads it next door to the residents at No 10. That would be a real disaster for the Country. Then again…..
Quick! Quarantine Whitehall! Interdict all traffic in and out of the area. Allow only qualified medical personnel access to the festering fount of infection. It’s our only hope.
What? Coughing Pig Death? Oh, right.
This is too serious to trust to a quarantine. We need a contiguous cull.
Yes, I think a complete cull would be the best option.
It’s a tough job but I’m prepared to take it on
My god, they will all start dropping like Prescotts flies at the treasury now.
Dont worry a committee will be set up and he or she will be cleared.
There is one thing of which I am absolutely certain: if any of the Government or the senior civil service go down with pork flu, they will be given supplies of tamiflu quicker than Two-Jags can wolf down an indistrial sized gristle pie.
What’s the betting that after health workers, they will also be top of the list for ‘flu vaccinations come the end of august?
After healthcare workers? Who do the politicos think more vital to the country? You only get one guess.
If they want a vaccine that has been developed in just thirteen weeks with NO human trials, then let them have it. Best thing that could happen to them.
Trialing a vaccine on our Key Workers before releasing it to the plebs is a brilliant idea. I do hope that NICE have ensured that Good Clinical Practice has been followed. The thought of our political elite being turned into brain-damaged quadraplegics by an untested vaccine would be too much to bear.
Wouldn’t it?
The employee should be sent to Calais without delay to meet and greet those who are patiently waiting for their house and benefits in the UK once they find adequate transportation to Dover.
and a
cooker
bed
TV -
fridge
PC
how about
(1) we all go to Calais for the day
(2) throw away our passports on the way back
(3) plead – whatever it is you need to plead – can’t speak english / terrorist / lost / etc
(4) join gravy train
Simples – innit?
The entire subcontinent is queuing to get here. Best to get out of here now and leave them stew in their own curry and bhurkas.
Great – now lets seal the doors and leave them to rot in their own swill
No. Let’s get them all in the channel tunnel and then seal the doors – at both ends.
Though not without chucking in a few timed explosives before shutting it both ends.
The lengths these bastards will go to, to avoid that spending review….
omigod is then that 0% rise
So the Treasury isn’t following the government’s own advice to organisations on how to communicate swine flu now? Super.
“European leaders are so desperate for Gordon Brown to stay in power until after the Lisbon treaty comes into force that they are willing to make compromises to shore up his political position, The Times has learnt. ”
Just to confirm that the troughing EUSSR tossers are up Gorgon’s arse – or he up theirs.
I suspect Mandy Bum has a lot to do with this.
I have a theory.
Cameron hopes the Lisbon Treaty doesn’t get ratified. Thus causing a long delay in the expansion of the EUSSR. When this happens Ken Clarke is no longer a European Thorn in Cameron’s side and no longer a risk.
Cameron sacks Osborne for behaving like an idiot and holding too many cosy chats with Mandy Bum (as well as other countless faux pas)
Cameron asks Big Ken to be Shadow Chancellor.
Do I talk bollocks or what?
Cameron couldn’t give a monkeys bout us leaving the EU he just says it to keep the old Tories from defecting to UKIP etc. etc.
That’s what I mean – so once the treaty fails – Euro Ken can be brought back into the inner sanctum as he is then low risk
sorry mate hangover blown all the synapses dunno whether i’m coming or going
Ken did a decent job and left things in good order, only for noo labour to come in and screw it up completely. Labour believes money grows on trees…………
Not quite. New liebour believes that money can be MADE from trees.
I’m putting my backside into this.
Never mind, everyone will soon be off for summer holidays now that Parliament is on summer recess, as the organ grinders don’t need the monkeys…
Parliament is not on Recess. It just looks like it is…
It started in Asia
33.9% of people carry the DNA that makes it possible to contract this vile Tory virus
This Government has secured enough Tamilflu for 48.27% of the population of this country, unlike the do nothing Tories
I will take no lessons from the leader of the opposition when it comes to dealing with pandemics.
Just remember how both myself and my Right honourable friend the member for Poofinboots NE dealt with the foot in mouth crisis.
MMMM MR Speaker as a proven liar My pants were just on fire but luckily I have yet again pissed my pants in public so they are now merely steaming.
Swine flu would be 23.7% worse under a Tory government.
Mr Speaker
The prime minister is obviously a total raving fucking Hoon.
When will he call a general election?
I put that very question to the PMlsT this weekend via Ms Arianna Formerbeard – Huffington’s good blog in America-sur-Mer. Some 14 hours later I had not received an answer and then my question disappeared. I assume it will be on the agenda when cabinet next meets….
And that’s the right thing to do.
I’m sure they’ll have no problems getting to see doctors. Only honest hard working families have to stand in line for days.
Honest hard-working families have to self-diagnose the condition from any one of hundreds of summer cold viruses then phone a help line. Health professionals specially recruited from the numberless ranks of the unemployed and given intensive training of 6 hours duration will eventually answer your call in strict rotation and paint a large red cross on your front door. They will give assistance by shouting, “Stay indoors you plague-ridden poor people. Leave your dead in the street for the weekly collection”.
The BBC will cancel all programmes, replacing same with continuous re-runs of “Gordon Brown’s Greatest Speeches”. The vaccine will be first issued to paid-up members of the Labour Party who have at least 10 years membership. If you live south of the Wash be very afraid. The Election will be postponed until the pandemic has run it’s course, by which time there will be a Labour majority and the Benefit culture North of the Wash will move bloodlessly into former Tory strongholds. Mandy’s Masterplan will be complete.
Sorry about the length, Guido, it just sort of flowed.
I suppose actually they are not going to identify the member of staff who has swine flu. This could persuade the Treasury to stump up the cost of vaccinations, which they have so far been unwilling to do. At about £4 a pop they really would be an ‘investment’ even if you only consider the financial cost of people getting swine flu, which is not to be sneezed at.
[...] Read more from the original source: +++ Swine Flu in the Treasury +++ [...]
Swines with noses in the troughs. Job security, gold plated pensions, eight weeks holiday and sick leave considered to be an entitlement.
awful news, is delusion an underlying health condition? Could clear the lot out……
Did anyone see Anne Diamond on the ‘daily brillo ‘earlier today suggesting she and a load of TV luvvies might stand for Parliament but have been put off? She says many have been put off by the two years waiting around as a prospective parliamentary candidate and not being able to earn during this period… Meanwhile Tory head office are sending out standard e-mails to hopefuls saying that due to shedloads of applications they might not get around to assessing the application until end of July ie don’t ring us we might let you know…..they promise to put at least 2 people on to the vetting programme… so much for David opening the lists when the rest of the party machine is clearly not cranked up to sifting through the in tray at high speed .
Methinks DC should have an urgent look at the back office systems as clearly some of the slaves are not on message. The alternative to hanging around for the Tories is to stand as an Independent….
Anne Diamond has a really big arse, Cherie Blair size arse in fact. So did Ruth Kelly and Jaqui Smith.
I reckon Judy Finnigan could make Prime minister with her massive Buttocks.
Or not bother & just vote for UKIP or the party that dare not speak its name. Cameron needs to get things moving now – otherwise he’ll still be in Opposition after the next election.
This all must be of deep concern to our porcine politicians.
Flipping flipping Houses,
A pocketful full of expenses.
a-tissue!, a-tissue!.
Lets bring the Government down.
We’re tough on swine, tough on the causes of swine.
Gordon is just getting on with the job – swine flu or no swine flu, he’s doing what he does best and looking after hard working families.
Let’s draw a swine under this and move on.
Let’s snort a swine and move on quicker.
I had swine flu last May. It lasted for wee wee wee wee weeeee weeeee weeee WEEEEKKS!!
UK Health Minister described as “Bloody moron” by epidemiologists, for predicting 100,000 new cases of swine flu per day.
http://scienceblogs.com/effectmeasure/2009/07/uk_health_minister_exponential.php
They will do anything to try and get a scare story going to take people’s minds off their lies and exaggerations.
Hang on, Moley, I loathe Burnham but if you read the public health blog you would have seen, further down, speculation that the quoted figures might not be too far off.
Find another stick to beat the bounder with.
Any stick will do……..I don’t like his shade of mascara either.
All this growing hysteria about swine flu is pathetic. It’s flu FFS! It comes round every year.
With regard to the labourlist comment below:-
http://www.labourlist.org/time-drop-dishonest-cut-invests-mantra-brian-barder,2009-07-06
I commented on here a few days or so ago about the ordinary labour party members and how fed up they are with the leadership. They pay their membership dues and have zero say in policy making or anything else if it comes to it. It is the leadership, MP’s and the union barons who control the ship.
The article is pretty strong stuff however and shows how out of touch the leadership, in its various guises, is with the ordinary labour party member. Many are decent people and abhor the lying and deceit coming from the party. They would like as it says in the article, a much more articulate and intelligent approach to combatting the policies of the tories. My conclusion is that, De facto, there has been a party within a party for some considerable time now, just like militant was.
It is sad to see a once great party descend into the abyss. I don’t profess to be one of their supporters now but I was a very long time ago around 1995 and I met a lot of decent honest people in the wards and constituencies.
It’s a shame that it has come to this, where they cannot be trusted and are seen as just lying and bullying politicians who no longer represent the white working class, the very people who gave their support unconditionally and who never wavered and who made labour the party that it was, whether you agreed with its policies or not. Their policy on unfetterd mass immigration and who can deny this exists, has added to the malaise within the party.
Finally the white working classes have woken up, they know that labour no longer represents them. By white working class I mean decent honest people who work hard for a living to support themselves and their families. There clearly is no incentive today for people to work hard under labour. Let people be free and create the right environment for them to flourish, as thatcher did, instead of trying to CONTROL,as labour does now. A party now run along similar lines to that of the old soviet communist party.
“There clearly is no incentive today for people to work hard under labour. ”
This is deliberate policy. Keep a large section of the underclass on benefits, so that their votes can be bought off at election time with scare stories such as “if you vote for anyone other than labour, your benefits will be cut and your babies killed!”
Labour realised ages ago that social mobility was killing off it’s core vote. Take working class kids from housing estates, give them a grammar school education, and they turn into thinking middle classes, realise labour is a sack of cack, and vote tory/lib dems.
Far better to dumb down education and keep the un-working classes thick and on benefits: they don’t ask questions and they are for ever in hock to labour for handing benefits to them on a plate.
There’s a family that lives near me – hubbie, wife, 3 boys ( all over 18 – no work – claiming benefit etc ) always in the kebab / chip shop / pub. 2 little girls as well, swear like troopers, thick as shit, just generally unpleasant social misfits who don’t have to conform to rules such as politeness, decency, civility as they have no need to do those things to secure a steady, never earned source of income via the state purse. There’s 5 votes for Zanu PF straight away…. makes you sick really. There’s plenty of seagull shit around here to be scraped up by these malingerers to “earn” that benefit but , then again, Jeremy Kyle won’t watch himself will he
“By white working class I mean decent honest people who work hard for a living to support themselves and their families.”
So you can be white working class whatever your skin colour is then?
Incredible String Band anyone ? ‘Big Ted ‘ ‘Ted was getting old so the farmer said, he sold him to the butcher just to make a little bread, now he’s gone like snow on the water, goodbyee.’
…shows age ! ps, isn’t it wonderful without that supercilious little hoon, masterbator, cloging the board – good move Fawkes !
I wonder if Brown’s dropped in to give them luck
One can only hope he catches a fatal dose and passes it onto Mandleson
This little piggy fucked up the markets
This little piggy had a second home
This little piggy kept his seat
This little piggy liked porn
And this little piggy went wee wee wee all over the electorate.
I wonder if Brown’s dropped in to the treasury to wish them luck them luck
One can only hope he catches a fatal dose and passes it onto Mandleson.
Both are swines
Looks like Quasimodo has found a new job.(parliament channel)
The Teasury civil servant in question is so minisculely junior (just a couple of rungs up from a cleaner) that there’s little point in venting your spleen about it being a divine judgement on someone who’s wrecked the economy. Nor does the person in question get anything close to 8 weeks holiday, Y Frontz.
Porkie Pig said
I resent being associated with this flu. It’s giving me and my follow porkers a bad name.
Please rename it Brown Flu or if it originates in he groin – Balls flu.
Doctor Liam said
Dont worry gang I am on the case.
Swine flu party bag ?
Easy.
A giant bag of pork scratchings and a ticket for a trip round the House of Commons.
If they are off work , economy will recover in no time
Well Darling could go to a swine flu party, then go over to see The Gorgon.
Swine flu appears to be fatal to a small group of people who also have other “underlying complcations”. The Gorgon certainly has a number of these and the chances are a decent bout of swine flu will finish him off.
Ah, but is it halal swine flu?! Must be seen to be multicultural and suitable for all regardless of race, religion, gender etc…
I am fast coming to the conclusion, having been a Conservative all my life, that Dave & co are not the answer. I fucking hate New Liars and what they have done to the UK as for the Liberals, well as when Thorpe was the leader I’ll be buggered if I’m voting Liberal still applies. The B * P are just a bunch of opportunist bigots, so that’s them out.
Scotland has the SNP, Wales has CC both of which are nationalist parties (united against England) putting the own first.
I always thought that of the Conservatives but Dave & co seem to be nancying about getting fucking nowhere.
Indeed, Bereft. My sentiments entirely.
I have come to the conclusion the CMD is afraid of winning the election, probably because he doesn’t want to have to clean up the piggery that the Hoons have made of the country. He strikes me as more a Ted Heath figure anyway, trimming and U-turning all the time but with no destination in mind than a Margaret Thatcher who did know what she wanted.
UKIP seem to spend more time having internal bunfights that anything else and a certain other lot are no more than Zanu with racism.
Pehaps the person who said that all he (or she) needed was a roll of piano wire and 650 lamp posts to sort it all out had it right after all.
I might be tempted to vote Conservative in my constituency simply because they are the only party who have a snowballs of unseating Balls, and I really want to see that horrible apology for a person’s face when he gets kicked out.
There are plenty of swine at the Treasury to pass on this minor little plague. I think that I will send something rather nastier next time and restrict it to swine of the 2 legged variety who choose to stick their snouts in the trough of my peoples’ cash. I will exempt Peter(call me Willy) Mandelson though – I have something infinitely worse in store for him, which he will catch the next time he sticks his willy into the “Brown” stuff! (Sacred puns are SO funny, don’t you think!)