David Cameron has just held a press conference where he told the assembled hacks

“it would be far too simplistic for me to stand here and announce some kind of ‘Bonfire of the Quangos.’ People have heard that kind of talk many times before, and seen little to show for it. Instead, we need a more sophisticated approach. Yes we need to reduce the number, size, scope and influence of quangos…”

Well here are 17 quangos the Tories have proposed:

1. Office of Tax Simplification
2. Office of Budget Responsibility
3. Free national financial advice service
4. ‘Sports Commission’ (Australian model)
5. Office for Civil Society
6. Social Investment Bank
7. Skills advisory service for service personnel
8. Service for families of departing armed forces personnel
9. Military inquest family advisory service
10. International Aid Watchdog
11. Innovative Projects Agency
12. National Foundation for STEM
13. HealthWatch
14. Defence Export Services Organisation
15. All Age Careers Service
16. Voluntary Action Lottery Fund
17. A ‘development agency for libraries’

Source : Labour Party press office.

Andrew Neil gave Phil Hammond a roughing up this morning on the Daily Politics (2 mins 40 secs in):

Even Nick Robinson is dissecting the internal contradictions of Cameroon quango reformism versus Thatcherite quango burning.  The Tories of course propose to create the biggest quango in history – the Independent NHS Board…

The HM Treasury intranet has just flashed up a warning that they have identified a  staff member with a suspected case of Swine Flu. 

Not to be confused with the economic forecasts of flying pigs…

When Ed Ball’s said he hardly knew “Mr McBride” how we all laughed, the Daily Telegraph’s then newly appointed chief political commentator, Ben Brogan, put the widely held view succintly: “liar liar, pants on fire”.

Balls is now disowning his “Tory Cuts, Labour Invests” strategy, briefing that the whole idea is down to that no good Shaun Woodward.   Yet it was under his own name that a circular went out to Labour activists attacking Cameron as “Mr 10% Cuts”.  When Fraser Nelson called Blinky a liar about Labour’s own cuts, Balls went bonkers, telling Nelson to withdraw the article and calling his Spectator editor, Matthew d’Ancona, to rant about the article.

God knows how he will respond to the LabourList article calling on him to drop ‘the dishonest “Tories cut, Labour invests” mantra‘. Written by Brian Barder, who has been a Labour Party member for half-a-century, it is hyper-critical of the Balls line of attack, calling it dishonest and ham-fisted:

Labour promises actually to increase government spending, appear both dishonest and, perhaps worse, obviously and simple-mindedly dishonest.  This ham-fisted campaign is a tragedy for Labour… In … the disastrous circular, I suggested … the current line [is] depriving the government and the party of a different and much more positive line which would have the incidental advantages of being both truthful and credible…

Ouch. Ed Balls wrote for LabourList only last week about discrimination in the playground. He’ll be throwing his toys out of the pram this morning…

Just a quick update since so many co-conspirators (and even a few sworn enemies) have been kind enough to enquire.  4-year-old Miss Fawkes is reluctantly taking a Tamiflu / chocolate Nutella compound.  She seems firmly on the mend. Fever is past, a little lethargic and a low appetite persists.  Baby Ms Fawkes has her second birthday today, she won’t be having a party, but seems as boisterous as ever – all anarchy on a new pink mini-scooter.

Miss Fawkes’ school is unsure, a few kids are off, some just be pre-cautionary, some unwell.   The local pharmacist told Guido on Friday that he had done half-a-dozen children’s Tamiflu prescriptions that day. Was it summer flu or Swine flu?  We won’t know without testing…

See also Swine Flu Update & Swine Flu Update II.