Speccie Spaced Out
Guido left the Speccie summer party early – summonsed by Mrs Fawkes who is convinced Miss Fawkes has Swine Flu. So this will probably be the first report back from the party.
Dave did his usual 15 minutes (his routine is that he shows his face at an event – tells the hosts how wonderful it is, if required he makes a speech name-checking the organisers / sponsors warmly. Smooth with a quick exit back to Notting Hill). No speech today and he didn’t tour the garden. For the first time that Guido can remember the party wasn’t a crush. The Speccie have annexed their neighbour’s garden, doubling the space for the party. You could actually move about easily…
Had a chat with Michael White, it was civil. He even let Guido get a word in. Guido exited before Sir Michael could introduce Shriti Vadera, not from intentional rudeness, rather because Mrs Fawkes was screaming out of the Blackberry – “she has a temperature of 39.1″. Andrew Neil blocks the exit, “going so soon?” Ironic really, in years gone past Guido would go to some effort to crash the party, now they extend an invitation and he dashes out. Maybe Guido just isn’t that clubbable.
Sounds like a riot , honey x .
E x .
lets hope he pee’d in the punch before leaving.
……….. an dumped amongst the onion bhajiis .
E x .
It’s an old one but it’s on topic Swine Flew
well not all clubs are worth joining , finding your feet is a good thing , not punching michael white after too many pimms makes early exits essential .
hope fawkes family fair well
No clubs are worth joining – and very few organisations. Keep your distance Mr Fawkes.
Let us hope that Miss Fawkes does not have Swine Flu.
If she does though, a lot of people at the party probably now have it, which means everyone at the HoC will be sure to have it by Saturday.
I’m thinking a State Funeral in 10 days, followed by a GE soonest.
(And a complete recovery for the heroic Guidlette!)
Biological warfare !
That’s style!
Allways leave them wanting more!
Guido, or Groucho? Both are valid.
better off there than watching that dreadful QT. I promise I wont watch it again. What an intellect that jarvis cocker is, vocabulary limited even for QT.
god its dreadful now. needs to be put out of its misery really, just like our gordon
Next week:Littlejohn,Sniffin,Greer,Self and Bragg.
Can’t believe some fuckwits think that Harman’s a potential leader. She can’t string a sentence together to save her life.
i can put together sentance and string
Nor could kinnock
Or:
Kennedy (Sarah), Nick Knowles (tosser), Paul Daniels (short bloke), Gordon Brown (some twat) and Gunther von Hagens (plastination egg-head).
M x .
Yes, really dreary this week. But the last month has had some crackers.
QT was absolute pants. I had to turn it off after 20 mins or so as I just couldn’t take anymore,
Cocker was absolute cock. Fucking half-wit popstar with more money than sense. A case of him waving his arse at Mike Jackson-albeit deservedly- and the BBC marks Cocker down as a political commentator. Harriet was ranting her pre rehearsed spin, IDS went off on hug a hoodie style wander in response to a question about government spending, and Hitchens was just irrelevant. The little Liberal geezer was , well a little Liberal geezer. Not worth listening to at all.
So no to the licence fee
Bit like when that lisping fuckwit singer Will Young was on then. Glad I missed it.
Ah – Question Time – what fun!
Harperson was pathetic!
She spluttered and prevaricated and was completely unable to answer or defend the Governments stance on Grammar Schools, shrugging (AKA ingnoring the question put), aside the fact that the junior Harpeople go to one!
Jarvis Cocker – a spaced out hairy incoherent has-been!
A bald nonentity – once allegedly the “leader” of the Conservative party.
A Daily Mail columnist one P. Hitchens, who actually spoke more sense than the rest of the sorry lot combined, although that’s not saying much!
Michael White? Shriti Vadera? Why should you want to be seen at the same party as these dreadful people, Guido? Was that cocktrumpeter Balls there as well? Richards? Aaronobitch? Maguire?
Andrew Neil is tolerable, sure, but he is still part the Establishment of which you claim to disapprove.
Unless, of course, you went for the free booze and an opportunity to blow raspberries in Kneepads’ face, in which case I forgive you.
Aye, don’t go! Stay away lest you become part of the hated establishment
Glad to hear you are not clubbable with our political classes – joining an over 60’s line dancing class would be more worthwhile.
Hope baby guido is fine – and it’s not swine flu.
Time for bed .
‘Night
obviously all the best with the diminutive Miss, all the best.
Now slightly off topic (a tinsy bit any how) like I say in my blog do you find it ‘odd’ that Osborne was officially investigated the day after Osborne told people about Brown keeping him in the dark over official accounts? But why the hell would labour use a labour official (minor) to lodge the complaint rather than a front?
anyway all the best.
It is bloody odd.
Oh dear, Guido’s been absorbed by the village. Sounds like something from The Prisoner. I’m surprised one of the big balloon things didn’t appear when he tried to leave. And this morbid fascination with Mickey White…
Hope the little ‘un gets well soon.
Important NO2ID stuff.
If the party’s that shit,any excuse will do
I trust that Ms F is OK. ‘Every parents dies 1,000 deaths’, my father used to say.
Actually you were ’summoned’ on this occasion though you may yet be ’summonsed’:
‘summon, v.
. . 3. gen. To require the presence or attendance of; … …
. . a1536 Songs, Carols, etc. (E.E.T.S.) 97 Whan deth commyth,..Obey we must, ther ys no remedye; He hath me somond.’
‘summons, v.
. . 2. To cite before a court or a judge or magistrate; to take out a summons against.
1780 M. MADAN Thelyphthora I. ii. 52 A woman had but to summons her seducer before the judges.
1838 DICKENS Nich. Nick. xxxviii, Say another word and I’ll summons you.‘ [OED]
Hope Miss Fawkes is OK, Guido.
andrew Neil is a kite . He swings with the wind. Check ‘im out on intertube archive.
G, if you are in Edinburgh, have a pint i n the ‘ vincent ; good beer good whisky and few twatts
The Spectator!
Is that some sort of fuckin’ magazine or what?
Guido:
Spectator summer party, award ceremonies, rubbing shoulders with MPs, ministers, media barons….
Face it, you are now a member of the establishment.
Watch out for the Establishment’s embrace Mr Fawkes – we like you as one of us, not one of them. Hope all is well with the nipper.
Aaaargh, Eeeeek, it appears the Scottish Scunner has been in touch with Andy Murray, wishing him well for his next match!
We’re doomed, doomed!! :-(
I bet the conversation went like this: ‘ Stick it right up those English bastards – look at the wankers, they’re even supporting us though we hate them with every fibre of our being.
Guido there is no mention of the “totty count”, normally very high at the Speccie bash.
Have noticed, whilst in M&S Chiswick, that Sir Michael’s bald bonce has taken on the appearance of a weathered walnut.
Beware Guido – what you fight against , you become.
Cameron doesn’t live in Notting Hill. He lives in North Kensington (W10).
Hope all is well with Miss Fawkes.
“she has a temperature of 39.1″: I assume Mrs Fawkes has been packing her in ice, her temp should be 98.4… Body temp is so much more intelligible in proper units.
Nurse! Nurse! Just spent a couple of bemused minutes trying to figure out wtf Jarvis Cocker was doing on PMQs, so thank God it was QT and a case of initial confusion, not necessarily a home visit from Dr Alzheimer. Will just go and stick my head in the fridge for ten minutes.
Bummer you had to leave the party, but hope Miss Guido is fine.
Something definitely up with Speccie invitation committee. Normally I get an invite. This year, nowt.
Hope Miss Fawkes is on the mend. No fun for a baby having a temperature in this horrible weather.
Hoping small Fawkes feels better this morning.
So Michael ‘kneepads’ White was civil?
He’s probably thinking of all those he has p****d on, on the way up and who will now be seeking to return the favour since he’s on the way down.
Guido exited before Sir Michael could introduce Shriti Vadera, not from intentional rudeness, rather because Mrs Fawkes was screaming out of the Blackberry – “she has a temperature of 39.1″.
- well at least she phoned you and her poor GP demanding the usual magic wand. This GP gets about 35 such panic stricken calls per morning
it gets a bit wearing after a while.
should ” not her GP”
I wish the Fawkes family well and hope your wife recovers soonest. They say take lots of vit C?
I hear the money’s really good for GPs nowadays.
I’ve got about six weeks to spare. Mayby I’ll train to be one.
Anything you can’t diagnose or get off the web, just send to a consultant.
Look up the rest in the BP and scribble a prescription.
What a fucking life.