Friday Caption Contest (My Little Pony Edition)
Another Twittish Tweet from Kerry McCarthy | BBC
What’s the Point of Our Anti-Business Secretary? | Ruth Porter
HuffPo Hiring Pro-Iranian Mehdi “Act of Desperation” | Fox News
Krugman is Seductive, Simplistic and Unrealistic | Jeremy Warner
Lower Taxes, Higher Growth, the Statistical Evidence | CPS
Bash the Unions, Gatecrash the Quangos | ConservativeHome
I Told You So: Euro is Doomed | Douglas Carswell
PM Speaks for the Nation When Bashing Balls | Quentin Letts
Time for an Alliance | Dan Hannan
Farage’s Plan | ConservativeHome
Guardian Open News is a Failure | Heather Brooke
Balls Calls for Deeper Cuts | Speccie
Lessons from the Thirties | CPS
PMQs Idiots | Harry Cole
Jon Cruddas is Not the Messiah | Dan Hodges
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Lord Lamont told ITV News…
“I think the PM is just human and Ed Balls is a pretty irritating person”
Victorious Speaker candidate consoles Margaret Beckett.
How long did you sit on the photo to think that one up?
Bercowitz: “My, hasn’t it got a lot of hair on it’s neck. Just like Frank Dobson. Nice to stroke”
Horse: “He’s not very well bred, is he?”
“I’ll do it for a pony”
“ALWAYS look a gift horse in the mouth (especially when the taxpayer is footing the bill”
labour reveal new chancellor. He can count to Ten You Know that’s six digits more than Mr darling !
I understand the long face
Donkeys arse asking advice from an ex home secretary.
New Speaker enjoys an intimate bondage moment, with his new internet bride.
Fancy a ride with my wife?
“I always said my shadow looks like Mandyperson!”
My guess is Bercow is coming from the position of taking an existing and known
JPEG standard which is good enough for manipulation, fast, and cheap to
implement in silicon. It’s graphic fidelity is amazing, after all, I invented it.
I’ve done some checking and the 12 bit code exists in
Photoshop and a number of image libraries. Once you step beyond this point
you’re getting into much more hairy territory. Quite literally.
Once again Charles, your entry is neither witty nor relevant, but keep trying…
IT’s fucking amazing a couple of GCSE’s and you create a tosser like Charly E Smallwidge !
I’ll huff and I’ll puff, and blow your House down with the hair of my chinny chin chin!
Burkha meets minature pony !
Totty watch for pervs?
Should have gone to spec-savers.
Spot The Donkey !
Pin the tail on the donkey, surely!
That’s the winner!
Neigh neigh, short legs and a big cock doesn’t necessarily hold you back.
The photo opportunity goes sour after no-one checked that saddles aren’t made for shetland ponies
not fu;king so !
‘All animals are created equal…. but politians are a special breed.’ M. Beckett (horse’s head). ‘I agree… especially me and my government chums.’ John Bercow (horse’s other end).
Send yourself a t-shirt.
right ! wheres the trough ?
Speaker congratulates a Labour MP for ensuring his election.
Horse congratulates a Labour MP for ensuring his election
Shouldn’t that be erection?
Scandal as new labour’s farm minister’s expenses reveal £150 for second home allowance and £25 on carrots !
Old Joke : burkah ! i backed this horse at twenty to one ! it came in at quarter past five !
Jacko isn’t dead! Jacko isn’t dead! Jacko isn’t dead,
’cause i heard him on the radio..
Gordon Brown.
Scouting for boys.
I backed it on the action replay and it still lost ( even older joke)
The new speaker pictured next to his Shetland Pony
LAUGHED MY COCK OFF ??????????????? NOT !
“As I was telling Margaret here, to get the speakers job you had to be a serious trougher to make everyone else look good …”
well at least I beat old horse face.
horse face meets a horse !
Mc Mental’s latest idea to solve the recession ! Put all the money left in the treasury on this horse ! At 1,500/1 it’s a dead cert he said !
I love Shetland Ponies!
one is a pleasure-seeking animal with simple needs and the other is a beautiful pony
Caligula,s Horse has a great future
Incitatus and Penelope
witch one the speaker ?
Surely:
Berkowitz consoles Beckett
???
Surely:
Berkowitz consoles Beckett.
Bercow Coeur-de-Cheval poses for new bronze statue to be sited near Parliament
“No time for the ol’ in-out, love. I’ve just come to read the meter!”
Who you calling a cowboy? Just because I have a horse……
Mr Ed meets Mandy’s Ass
These unnecessary personal insults add not a jot to the sum of human knowledge.
Twat.
Calm down, my dear, it’s ONLY a blog !!
Ass hole
Just fuck off and find a blog you do like.
The Penguin
FAG MEETS NAG
labours new transort policy Is legslation on the hoof !
If Mervyn doesn’t get back on message he will awake to find this head in his bed.
Sir Christopher Kelly will shortly produce his blueprint for reform. My view is
that, whatever Sir Christopher decides, unless there is a public consensus
that it is fundamentally flawed, inequitable or unworkable, we must bite the
bullet and accept his findings. Whatever scheme is put in place has to reflect
the inescapable reality that most MPs have to live in two places and their
overall income, including allowances, must be adequate to enable them to do
so. Otherwise, only the independently wealthy or the externally sponsored will
be able to afford a parliamentary career.
Too long – I missed the punchline.
Allow me:
“Otherwise, only the independently wealthy or the externally sponsored will
be able to afford a parliamentary career.”
Yeah, but let’s face it – parliamentary careers is what’s led to Gordon Brown and all the mess we’re in right now. We don’t want career politicians, we want decent ones!
so good: let’s have a parliament that works for nothing !
Dear Charles,
From your constant and persistent spewings, it is obvious that as a child, you were unloved, attention seeking, a bed wetter, insisted on checking that the lights and taps were turned off before you went out, (six times or more) and that you had a special place in which to retreat. You also pulled out your eyelashes and body hair and cried yourself to sleep at night. I would like to feel sorry for you, but I can’t because you’re a Hunt
Have we met? Are you my secret Uncle I mustn’t tell Mummy about?
Obviously, when it came to bed wetting – it was while standing on a wardrobe!
Will someone explain Hoon to me ?
HOON is what Guido uses in his moderation to replace the word C*nt !
Yes but where does the horse fit in?
up his rear !
Ask Peter the Mandy – it’s just the right size as a starter!
TOTAL BOLLOCKS ! I’ve said before, let them pick whatever house they want . but when they leave office the house BELONSS TO THE STATE ! To be reused or sold off. THUS MAKING MONEY for the state. simple ! THEY DO NOT NEED TO OWN SECOND HOMES AT OUR EXPENSE ! TWAT’S
Spot on!
Apart from the spelling and punctuation, that is.
classic !
My little phoney
It’s spelled “pony”.
Honestly, I sometime wonder why I bother coming here, LL was better.
That’s OK – we wonder why you come here as well!
I think Beast was waxing lyrical
do I have to explain that to you as well?
Apparently the horse is called Nokia
never heard of a horse getting thrown before
Yeah, but a day in the company of McBroon and his inner circle, it’ll get tossed!
Likenit….
we all got it !
we all got it !
You met the wife yet
why? do you want some photos?
Got ‘em, do you want to see them?!
All that speaking has left Bercow feeling a little horse
another classic from the Beast
Is it me or has anybody else noticed that the shadow on the Horse looks like Mandy.
That is a fantastic spot and very very eerie.
Mandy doesn’t leave a shadow.
Or a reflection.
Reptilians do, though. It’s surely the Prince of Darkness himself!
ARGH!!!!!!! I AM NOT PETER MANDELSON!!!!!
Manhandlebum, Becket and Berkowitz, something sinister afoot
I’ll bet you a pound of spuds that’s in one of the papers this weekend.
creepy…or its Jimmy “you could get pickles out of jar with a chin like that” Hill
Prize award for purpleline. What great observation!
AGREE ENTIRELY. The Shadow is an archetype – it embodies all that we most despise about ourselves. Buy my books, see the difference.
Fucking hell Bercow is possessed by Mandelson! Photographic evidence! Piicture never lies!
Unless you’re James Purnell, and there’s a photoshop user in the vacinity!
Hi ho 30 pieces of silver and away
A little berk who likes noting better than to get his hands on someone else’s ass.
It was the horse I was speaking to
Oompah-Loompah takes up horse riding.
Why the long face..You won didn’t you?
Horse with small cock
Quality
Nice – T-Shirt nominee
Best one so far. LOL.
“Is that you in there, Jacko?”
Trotally topical!
I think you mean “totally tropical”, as in Lilt carbonated beverages?
A little education does not go very far.
Hmm true, but a lot of education does help!
I like the latest labour education policy – we’re not going to teach the teachers anymore – now we’ve hounded out all the decent ones!
Look what I saved by not wearing the horsehair wig
Fuck me Purpleline!!! you are right!!!
Horse: Please don’t offer me your carrot.
Hey do ya wanna come and see some ponies horsey?
from l to r: Horse, Jimmy Hill & Midget
Well spotted!
If I’d run against him I would have lost.
Speaker of the Knackers Yard
I presume that is a Shetland pony.
Its the new Milk-it Czar Kid!
Very Good
I am here to announce the winning horse of the Michael Jackson Steeplechase – dedicated to all those who enjoy riding three year crossbreeds.
wouldn’t have won by his nose !
Now I’m speaker, the horse trading’s over. I got this on expenses
I think I’ve found you something that’ll touch the sides, Caroline.
Ooooooooo careful you don’t crack that whip
“The Shetland pony is a breed of pony originating in the Shetland Isles. Shetlands range in size from a minimum height of approximately 28 inches to an official maximum height of 42 inches”
Well John there is at least one breed of horse that makes you look tall!
No, I don’t hold a candle to Ann Widdecombe, but at least I cast a shadow on Margaret Beckett – eat your heart out Michael Howard
New speaker Bercow denies he has been extravagant in his expense claim.
Fixing the stable door after the horse has bolted??
Nice trough
“Jew me, sue me..” neighs the horse…
Miniature shetland pony, suitable rider found
I know an old lady who swallowed a horse. that was no lady that’s my wife
So, which one is hung like a donkey?
I know which one should be hung !
The Wasp – Bad boy ! BAAAAAD boy !!
“I wanna be fucked by you..”
John Bercow finally finds someone who is, er, almost ‘hung like a donkey’…
Bercow beats Beckett in speaker vote.
It was always a two horse race, Margaret.
[burkey ] “Do you want to ask a question, horsey ? Go on. Please..”
[horse] ‘patronising twat..’
Photographers:
“Smile please Mr Bercow: Over here, Mr Speaker: Can you pat the horse?: Just turn your head a little further: Over here, Mr Bercow: Stand closer to the horse: And a smile here, John…..”
Horse:
(Oh Fuck)
Ayes to the right
Neighs to the left?
In this case it is Asses to the right
Or lies to the left
Neighs to the right
[horsey, thinks..] ‘get off me, oleaginous Hunt.’
sHunthorpe united
Gargoyle dwarf meets world’s smallest horse.
“I’ll have this place cleaned up in no time”
Has JB only one tie?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2009/jun/23/bercow-speaker-traditional-costume
I get all my best ideas from the back of this animal.
ONE speaks straight from the mouth ! The other talks out of his arse ! Oh my god a talking horse !
How many hands with those special shoes on are you?
‘Ok – I’ve milked the horse for you, now where’s my nose-bag?
Two short asses.
great!
Look what I found! Gorbels Mick left his Horse ‘flip-me’ behind
WHERE IS ANDREW ROSINDELL???? The only MP who can be pictured with animals – especially sharing bodily fluids – is the MP for Romford – unless both these MPs love animals?
Bercow hides his disappointment at the NUTS! mag photoshoot.
He thought he had agreed to rub down Whores
Let me feel your big horse cock!
Bercow: You’re a dark horse.
Horse: So are you.
So what have we learned in two millennia?
“The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance. — Cicero, 55 BC
Evidently, nothing….
Horse: You’re a dark horse
Bercow: Racist!
Horse: You’ve changed your tune…
You fool, may a thousand kalashnikovs fire on you at once,
I asked for a Burka for the wives’s
Bercow – “Look Gordon, when I said I’d make life easy for you at PMQ’s in exchange for a pony this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
Good one!
Special school outing finds oldest pupil stroking in the farmyard
Nice try Mandy, there’s no fucking way your taking any photos of me on it, like the ones you took of Gordon.
“Anyone for horse meat? I’ve Got a Rabbi coming around shortly to stick a kosher stamp on it.”
Fucking Antisemitic juvenile crap.
Oh dear, looks like another one of the windowlickers got through your sophisticated system Guido?
We have dealt with him.
Yes, we have assassinated the person who made that comment, just like we murder and assassinate Palestinian children and commit war crimes against Palestinians and occupy Palestine.
We are such busy zionists, stirring up trouble and racial hatred wherever we can!
I must admit we are a bit worried about President Obama stopping funding our war crimes.
Blood darkies!
Are you trying to bring politics to this blog?
The Palestinian question isn’t just a one-sided story. Yom Kippur War anyone?
How many Palestinians have been murdered and how many Israelis have been murdered?
Occupation is not the same as war Dr Nuts.
With occupations he who kills most is the loser.
That is basic propaganda Dr.
And it means that Israel has already lost.
Please try harder to keep up with events.
The palestinian question is ? Who won the FA cup in 1963 ?
E LAD I LUV “YON KIPPERS” ! WI ‘YA NOB O’TH BUTTER
Oh Dear.
When Journalists spend years working on the issues, with material written extending to miles of column space. It can be dealt with in “trivial pursuit” form, with glib and one-liner statements.
Woo! You just the genius!
better israeli murderers than palestinian … Israelis rarely throw each other off or 10th story roofs,
well doctor nut’s As you can tell by these threads everbody is so sad at the passing of micheal jackson respectfull to a man NOT ! Caption comp ! a bit of humour there as well ! if we take everything as serious as you we would have all topped uorselves by now ! in these times Jesus H we need something to smile about !
Bercow to horse: ” We’re no different me and you. We’re always leaving it to other people to clean up our mess.” They’re no different to animals.
JB gives margaret beckett a consoling pat after his victory.
Bercow: ‘You only won 1,000 Guineas? You should see my expense claims…’.
good
Glad it’s not PMQ’s today- I’m feeling a little horse!
Both ends of the horse in one photo??
I am reliably informed by Mandy that this is the best-hung creature I could pose with until I cross the floor to sit next to Andy Burnham!
Horse: Exactly which bit would you like me to put in my mouth?
Your it
OT
Bercow has just said He’s ‘Relieved’ to Quit U.K. Conservative Party
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601102&sid=a1.DyzPpsC5c
As is well known, Bercow adopts a flag of convenience to suit himself at various times in his career. Does he actually have any real principles at all?
Nope!
Not as relieved as we are!!!
Is that Mandlesons shadow on you neck
JB: (Snort) “She’s a fine young filly… I broke her in myself.”
I bet you fucking did.
When Augeus arrived at his new stable, he decided to let the residues build even further.
I’ve already got the video.
Charles_E_Hardwidge revealed at last.
That is definitely Mandy,s shadow on the horse…weirddddd!
I was shadow-raping it.
Old Macdonald had a farm e-i-e-i-o and on that farm he had a Horse e-i-e-i-o…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………and on that farm he had a Cock! e-i-e-i-o
I want your cock, Uri.
Apparently MJ is to be melted down to make plastic bags so he can remain white, live forever and still be a danger to the kiddies.
Only in America can a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman!
Which one’s the biggest horse’s ass?
Dear All
My ditto;
John Bercow looks over the Parliamentary Nag picked out for his head if he gets it wrong.
After looking over its hindquaters he happily declares ‘its a tight fit but I have lube’!
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
Bercow: “the funny thin is i know! It should have been a one horse race!”
Dear All
Horse pricks up his ears as Bercow wants a ride and asks can he have a bowling ball shoved up instead!
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
I suspected you had low esteem from your fine English “first name”, and your Scottish toff pretension of a “surname”, your ersatz banging on about rights, and your naff academic astroturfing. You’ve now convinced me.
Two geldings with no balls
Dear All
John Bercow welcomes new member to the House of Commons as expenses toll claims more victims!
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
In the run up to the election of the Speaker, Bercow offered anyone in the Palace of Westminster a fiver if they’d vote for him
You should look for Government releasing bad news stories today, knowing the will be lost amid the Jackson coverage.
You mean like sixty BILLION for climate change help to foreign countries announced just now? £60 Billion
These scammers have to ensure they have a very welathy future when they are thrown out by voters.
What better way to ensure this than getting jobs with the biggest scam of them all, the “global warming whoops 10 years of cooling = climate change” scam?
This buried story is a horror, the zeitgeist in a nutshell:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/8120560.stm
And this one is insulting:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/8120864.stm
“Some top Network Rail bosses are to receive bonuses totalling more than £1.2m, the company has announced.
Chief executive Ian Coucher will get more than £150,000 in incentive payments for the performance of his company over the last three years.
Directors Peter Henderson and Ron Henderson will each get more than £300,000 in bonuses. “
Does anyone know if Gordon sent “Jacko” his warmest wishes for his forthcoming UK Tour just prior to ?
Just leaked from Downing St.
Apparently it’s the draft of a speech that McMad was going to make at Heathrow if Michael’s heart hadn’t stopped Beating It.
“I’d like to welcome Michael to London. As a serious politician with no interest in celebrety photo-opportunities, I’d like to say to Michael that I am getting on with the job of getting on with seeing Britain through these difficult times. When I was a boy at the Manse in Scotland, my father would say “Gordon, you must always be honest, just like that Michael Jackson” etc etc etc blah etc”
Nowt to do with horses or horses’ arses, though.
brown also said this gig will be the biggest move in micheal’s career
Fuck all this nonsense. Big laugh of the day, however, is the new digital pr consultancy set up by Prescott’s son and backed by Campbell. Evidently landing tade union Usdaw and the barmy Tribune mag as clients. Crazy sods Hlton, Miller and Arell also in this “team”. All this announced as a “gushing” lead in the increasingly suspiciously left leaning PR week. Hilton is already a columist in PR week. I hope they are going to sack him immediately.
Nearly as funny as the new cybercrime unit at GCHQ. All those Dell computers MPs buy suggest the quality of kit supplied by HMG will be more than capable of preventing DNS attacks on banks etc. NOT.
Dear PT
I see your email to Glasgow University has upset them; they have turned up on my website.
Do you realise you upset their happy existence?
You are an evil person but I like you.
Thanks.
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
Digital:
Does that mean they can charge clients the same fees as before, but don’t need to employ anybody?
In my day, in Reggie Watts Associates, the buzzword was”business-to-business”…
…then, when I got fired from there and went to O&M PR, the buzzword was “women purchasers”… (I got shafted [professionally only, you must understand] by my MD, a Ms Suzannah Hammond, for doing some research for Nationwide Building-Soc and finding out that the opposite was the case re houses – especially in the North… [she'd never been to the North] )
Then, when I got fired from there, I gave up PR and worked instead.
I also have a big John Thomas like the milkman’s horse
That’s a mare!
They were going to name this son of a Talking Horse ‘Ned’ but they, delightfully I may announce, are naming him ‘Berko’
So that’s what a knob-jockey looks like…
May it please Your Majesty, I have neither eyes to see, nor tongue to speak in this place, but as this Horse is pleased to direct me, whose servant I am here, and I humbly beg Your Majesty’s pardon that I cannot give any other answer than this to what Your Majesty is pleased to demand of me
HORSE: “I have never been so insulted! Gordon came, looked at me, said: “Oh! It’s a real horse. I wanted a rocking horse” and buggered off!”
BERCOW: “Bloody Hell, horse! You had a lucky escape!”
Why would Gordon want a rocking horse? because you would get more straight answers from rocking horse shit.
You’re saddled with me
I can take the reighns now
Its the only girlfriend i could hide on expenses, i can pass her off as a Govt Ass-istant.
Becket tells Bercow that the French want to ban him.
Mmm nice and firm…my friend Mr Malik should get quite a few curries out of you
You’re o friend of mine you filthy jew.
Brown sends “The Berk” to see evidence of his stable economy
You can call the House to order, but you can’t hide the stink.
As you can see- I’m to the left of the Horsey crowd!
Horse, meet horse’s arse!
or
Bercow corners the market in horse manure as expenses claims for Tory MPs is given the nod.
Bercow sent to shovel up some new policies.
This doesnt appear to involve Jacko. Surely some mistake?
one horse race . won by a looser !
labour party finally arrive at the knackers yard !
The new speaker said “two legs good, four legs bad”
No question now, what had happened to the faces of the labour MPs. The outsiders gallery looked from labour to conservative, and from conservative to labour, and from labour to conservative again; but already it was impossible to say which was which..
*applauding*
“The horse has eaten the receipts?”
Bercow going to get a light snack for Prescoott.
speaker meets MR ED balls !
Blimey, the knacker’s yard is getting full.
Bercow: I’ll rule out questions on ratification – for a pony
Bercow models his fashion wig because the public like it and so does he.
the disguise is great gordon but people will know it’s you by the colour !
No, I’m Incitatus.
I’m Incitatus.
Incitatus ego sum.
Hail, the true speaker!
Incitatus(left) and Penelope(right)
Michael Jacksoff
Horse: Gordon just made me Consul, any tips?
Dobbin and robbin’.
If that is Mandy’s shadow, he’s obviously gone to see Geoffrey Robinson, the Loan Arranger.
Look if I can be appointed Speaker, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be a consul
no you look better as a blond Sally !
“Look – if I can be appointed Speaker, you can win the Grand National”.
****
At the Augean Stables:
“Good horse. Carry on pooing wherever you like.”
So big boy the wife want’s to know if your available saturday night ?
speaker meets adviser for briefing on new roll !
Squeaker: “Due to my urgent need to pay back expenses claimed unnecessarily, I am putting my ass up for sale. Not as knackered as it looks. Doesn’t squeak much when belaboured (he he).”
And sundry of such tedious elk.
Is a tedious elk one who can recite train numbers?
berco re launches new neigh’ bour !
Which one produces more shit?
My real name is Kenneth Pinyan but I’m also known as Mr Hands.
I’ve always wanted to meet a Shetland pony.
(PS profile of Jimmy Hill)
Horse . Shit .
(To the tune of Oasis’s blah Electric blah)
I got the trots
You’ve got the Trots
We’ve got the troughs now.
David Heathcoat-Amory: Can I have the shit if you don’t want it?
Horse: Yes, please take him away
Do you belong to Caligula? I thought you might have got the job instead of me.
Bercow: “What did the cow say to the horse”
Horse: “Yes we’ve heard it! Fucking hell…”
My present to Heathcote-Amory no need to claim for horse shit now
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it suck your ****. Although anecdotal evidence from certain agricultural sources does indicate…
Beckett’s plastic surgeon shows off her transformation !
“That’s two of us who have refused the whip then”
Another case of the prick and the carrot
Well, folks I’m just a lowdown bum……..
“Give me a bale of hay and I’ll be up him like a rat up a drain pipe”
I’m a Tory trojan horse
Speaker coaxs Expenses horse back in the stable, and hopes that nobody notices it is the same
There there Gordon don’t fret I will keep them in control!
miniature shetland ponies get smaller!
Dear All
John Bercow looks over Margaret Beckett lookalike for role as Deputy Speaker.
Declares; she needs new shoes!
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
And this is the stalking horse that is going to challenge Gordon.
I knew that he was a knob jockey (Retd)
But didnt know that he was actually a real 4 foot tall jockey.
Dear All
John Bercow declares that he is to break with tradition and bring a pal into the chamber to keep him company!
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
bit of tpoic – but anyone ever see that clip of me with the elephant? See we had this elephant in the studio and…well…..oh god is this all I am?
Horse – Shit!
Two foot high horse discovered.
Some mistake, I was elected as speaker of the horse of Commons
Did you know I always wanted to be a horse and will soon be crossing the species barrier,I was always happier on all fours.
Berkow, patting MandleBums neck, that’s the most convincing, mincing, pantomime pony I’ve seen for quite some time, who’s in the back.
Oh Sh1t, I meant to paste in James Purnell
I am a leper and this is a horse.
Bercow by ‘laying on of hands’ exorcises pony possessed by Peter Mandelson.
This is my blind date for Margaret this evening.
How Now Brown Cow?
This is my new hoofer.
New commons speaker shows media the horse whose arse he modeled his debating skills on.
Good morning Madam. Firstly, have you got a loose box and secondly, can I get a go on your salt-lick?
Boom, boom!
Gordon’s at the front end and Peter is handling the rear.
We’re off to the trough now.
I’m out of touch. Which one is the Speaker?
Photographer: For a minute I I thought the horse was having an erection. It turns out it was just a small knob.
When MP’s were told that Caligula appointed his horse Consul, they realised it a useful precedent but preferred a creature from further down the evolutionary ladder
and here’s one I inseminated earlier..
I wonder. If Caligula could do it ………..
Neigh, neigh and thrice neigh!
Zzzzz
HORSE: What do the Speaker’s chair, and the area between my hind legs have in common?
M-M-MR SPEAKER: I don’t know, what do the…(etc)?
HORSE: Both are occupied by an 18 inch dick.
Quite good.
Here kitty kitty
Mr Chirac’s banquet has arrived
Speaker trots out the same old horseshit
Tee Hee what’s my monkey bubbles doing with that donkey. CHAMONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Horse: “At least Caligula sent both ends of his horse to the Senate!”
Bercow relaxes at Pony Club camp.
The neighs have it as the contest for Mr Speaker became a two horse race!
I’m an odious dwarf.
?
Doesn’t work.
I asked Conservative HQ for anything from Gallop and look what they sent me!
Cameron feels more shat on by the sight of me than Horse Guards after the trooping of the colour
New attempt to polish pony
And the horse you rode in on……
Shit! Are you telling me we voted for a tory as speaker? I thought we were voting for Hervé Villechaize off of Fantasy Island
New Speaker looks to create a stable political system
Horse with little cock.
Micheal who
A horse, a horse, my Kingdom for a horse
The intention is that the caption is also amusing.
A short stature animal which likes to feed from the trough.
And a pony.
I hear you’re a Trojan Horse
Shut up and give me a carrot……………….
Horse: My name is Caligula.
That horse has a tattoo of Jimmy Hill on its neck! Tough bastard, unlike the grey gnome next to him.
I’m in the saddle now boys, and don’t you forget it.
One ass meets another ass
No! You’ve got it all wrong. Brown is speaking from the other end.
Horse to Bercow:
“You going to jump the fences with me”?
Bercow to horse:
“No, I’m going to sit on them!”
This isn’t the sort of expenses chargers we meant.
Horse (with an American accent) : Get your hands off me you damn dirty ape!
?
The shadow on the horse
Tells me the sun is going down
Oh ruby
Dont take your love to town
When the PLP said my fee for standing against Widdecombe was a pony, I expected something else…
After a gruelling day in Parliament the Speaker felt a little horse.
See above (several times).
Sorry, late arrival, no time to read.
Dear All
John Bercow looks over specially trained House of Commons horse that shits on Tories.
After demo; he declares Cameron’s going to love this!
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
You really are a tedious little boy aren’t you?
Dear no longer anonymous
“You really are a tedious little boy aren’t you?”
No, but you’re a pure prick!
I am trying to be funny in here but you come across as cruising for ass!
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
I wonder if this round of pony smacking is going on the expense account?
Brown horse, brown noser.
Haha
Dear All
John Bercow smiles as he starts the ball rolling on measures to see that Prick George Osbourne dragged through the streets by the ankles.
He declares it (horse) is not built for speed but distance and I have planned a route through dogshit.
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
Is that how you describe your tenament?
Dr Nuts
I was bowled over by your wit.
Do you think it up yourself or did Oswank think of it for you?
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
Horse: ‘I didn’t vote for you’!
Please tell me wich one is the Horse
STOP THAT ANIMAL!
It’s stolen Ainsworth’s syrup!
“did you know that Michael Jackson has died?”
“what! again!”
Caligula Brown he had a horselum
had a horselum, a pony of courselum
Caligula Brown he had a horselum
Down in Parliament Squarum
Horselum’s name was Incitatus
- or – Incey Wincey Tatus?
- or – Incey Wincey Traitorous?
Horselum’s name
was Incey Wincey Traitorous
Down in parliament Squarum
This old horse had a stable of marbleum
18 servantsalums, a collar of goldelum
And Caligula he made it Squeakerum
Down in parliament Squarum
Was Caligula insane or intent on revengelum?
Insane or revengelum, insane or revengelum?
When he made his horse the Squeaker of bedalum
Down in parliament Squarum?
One year on, horse broke his legalum
Fell a sickalum, needed a doctorum
Now that poor horse he broke his legalum
Falling off Squeaker’s Chairum
And now they all sit, mad as birds in the wilderness
Flapping their wingsalums
Like birds in the wilderness
Now they all sit, mad as birds in the wilderness
In her majesty’s gaolum.
Don’t give up the day job.
The Penguin
Let’s just hope that due to an unforseen economic alteration, that is not now the day-job!
Margaret’s remodelled nose doesn’t seem to have improved matters much.
OK, who put superglue on this animals neck?
ONLY FOOL’S AND HORSES !
Coming down the Nag’s head?
Not unless she takes her teeth out first.
Horse: Fucking photo ops. What a mare.
Bercow:
“Yes, we could have had this horse’s arse as Speaker, but that would have heralded a cat in hells chance of actual Parliamentary reform”
“Hi, my name is Buckie Goldstein”
(It’s the punchline to an old Steven Wright joke – he met a woman on a train who confessed to him she was a nymphomaniac with an obsession for Jewish cowboys).
Lord Fondlebum of Boy (off camera): “I say, would you like a spot of bare-back riding?”
Speaker Bercow “Could I borrow some chaps”
LFofB: “Rather!”
Slightly OT. But an urgent message has been put out by the RSPCA.
‘Good home required for an abandoned monkey…. very friendly…. likes being wanked off with a white glove’
O/T – I know it’s a while ago, but only just come in and can’t at a quick read through see this above.
Ed Balls on WATO (after much Wacko Jacko drivel) announcing change in education policy. Government will no longer specify to teachers how literacy and numeracy will be taught, teachers will be allowed to get on with it. White paper to be released next week.
Do I detect the whisper of bad news being buried?
Well I never,we are both Shetlands.
OK, that one hit the moderation filter; try this.
O/T, rather late, but only just come in and didn’t see this on a quick read through.
Ed B*lls on World at One announcing (after much Jackson news) change to education policy. Government will no longer specify to teachers how literacy and numeracy will be taught, teachers will be expected to get on with it themselves. White paper next week, apparently.
Do I hear the whisper of bad news being buried?
Abandonment of one of Bliar’s flagship policies.
Story also on Grauniad website under ‘Education’. Sorry, can’t do link, I’m only an engineer, can’t be expected to do all this techno-stuff.
not in frisp land
Who’s the short fat smug b*s*a*d? Says the horse!
New poll out for the Times:
Labour 22%
Conservatives 41%
LibDems 16%
Horseshit (on caption topic)
Was that the horse or Bercow?
Bercow meets one of his co-stars as he auditions for part in BBC remake of “Steptoe & Son”
Screams!!!! bangs tables!!!! throws nokias
wahhh!! wahhhh!!!!
“it should be me! it should be me!!” blub blub…..
I even renamed that beach after him and got booed by the veterans and all because I thought he loved me……”
This is presently whats happening in the Downing St Bunker as Jonah McTwat suddenly realised that Angela Merkal the German Chancellor just happened to be in the states when Jackson pegged it and is right now cuddling up to Obama in many press conferences going on today
Oooo the fickle finger of fate huh Gorgon?
Gordon Brown: ‘I have been a teacher. I’m not going back to it’
The times
Well that latest wheeze didn’t even last a week. What a muppet
It’s not an abstract caption competition.
The speaker’s voice is a little hoarse !
Who’s that donkey standing next to the horse.
New Speaker has Jimmy Hill shadow.
That’s not Jimmy Hill, that’s Fagin
Cash cow,
No….. Cash Horse for me, me, me!
“Which way to the water?”
We’ve both had blazing saddles in our time.
Its the only way to get nominated.
Truly I am a great speaker. By cunning use of hand, light and shadow I am able to project the image of an Iranian cleric onto this beast of beurre-den. Join me later on pay-per-view Parliament when I shall, in partnership with Goggle Earth inc, reveal the whereabouts of the remains of Jimmy Hoffa…
‘…the green party, you say?’
[bercow] “Yes, that’s right, this is the horse whose head I would like delivered to Tom Bradby’s bed…”
Horse – Arse – Arse – Horse
Confirmed labour are a load of cowboy’s
PROOF! Bercow – knee high to a Shetland.
Balls
Quote
Uri Geller on live at 5
“Michael Jackson will be remembered for his music”
well fuck me sideways! you don’t say! and there was me thinking it was for his oragami skills
The orig spooner wanker also said the black & white popsters passing will affecst us all! Strangely not me thinks, i for one was not that close b ut maybe i’ll gouge a bit out of the wax work just up my ebay rating
Jacko – Black and White and Dead all over.
The Penguin
“I shall call you… hmm… What WAS the name of Napoleon’s horse?”
Shergar?
Guacamole ?
Marengo, I think.
That was one of them… and Wagram and… and… and… Oh the point is he had lots of them… and my point was Napoleon… Oh… never mind eh…
so what
Please excuse my wife not speaking – she’s a little hoarse
OK, which one of you Tory bastards put superglue on the horse’s neck?
Berco meet’s mandlesons “stalking horse” !
O/T
Is there something wrong with Michael Jackson? There seems to be the odd item on the news about him.
Yes – unfortunately he died -……………………..YESTERDAY !!!!!
Hi Tito i’m here Tee Hee
Do you know if they are putting his chimpanzee on e bay?
no good you can’t teach an old chimp new trick’s ! most chimps can wank themselves off !
Never! Just further publicity stunts. Happy to report my ex wife has recently spent a small fortune O2 tickets. Sweet.
We’ve added the cost to the settlement claim.
Can’t say I’ve noticed, Titbrain.
What, no popularist “deep condolences” and “he was my hero” nonsense from Gordon yet? He must be slacking.
Gordon has decided to lead the World in Mourning for the People’s Prince of Pop.
Speech reported at
The Penguin
Well, give him his dues – he’s not Tony Bliar.
I’ll give him that. As for a statement, if he can’t even give a damn about the British Soldiers being killed in Afghanistan, what’s his ‘motivation’ for making a statement on Michael Jackson.
IF anything – Gorgon is furious – Jackson was going to make a fortune in the O2 Arena – not now – which also means – tax losses.
Expected Statement: – ‘I’m sorry to hear that Michael Jackson will no longer be paying us a significant amount of money in taxes next month. … All our wishes are with the rest of his family and friends – in a hope they’ll do a tribute concert for tax reasons.’
No doubt that friendly hacks will be leaked the news that Gordon had already been invited to O2 venue of “Jacko”‘s latest UK Tour and that the PM had spoken privately to Michael just moments before the tragedy and wished him well for his forthcoming UK Tour.
You would think Wacko Jacko would have been more considerate and snuffed it on a day when there was some bad news to bury.
Perfect timing by This Week, last night. They had Sir Mike Jackson as a guest.
Yeh – but he was crap at the “Thriller” Moonwalking routine But then again in fairness to the General I expect he thought he was being asked by the “ditzy” BBC Researcher to appear on the programme to comment on the “Iraq Enquiry” !
He didn’t do very well in the What Not To Wear section either.
Front end of horse mets rear end of horse.
I am Caligula and this is my horse.
Best caligula line on here…
my kingdom for a horse! fuck that! i kissed too many arses for my kingdom
Bercow :No – Mr Bradby – its the HOUSE of Commons I was elected Speaker of (and can I remind you that you’ve already had 8 minutes of my VERY valuable time already and DO you want to ask the question C.mon hurry up ! Yes or No ! I’m tremendously important now – you know – even if I am still a short-arsed bumptious git!!!!
TEE HEE I guess i don’t have to pay back all that gig money now, CHAMONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
anyone any idea whats happened to Policalbetting.com?
Everytime I go there I get this old page from April come up. Even clicking on the title bar does the same and typing the address in the address bar. Been like it for days now.
http://politicalbetting.com/
Try this for today’s page. I blame Yuri Gellar and his spoons
link
This works:
http://www2.politicalbetting.com/
2 minutes to fix too. Plonkers.
One’s got bad teeth, rotten breath, short legs and smells of piss ! the other one’s a horse !
Speaker caught fiddling (with his left hand in his pocket, while groping a horse with the other)
No they wont notice its not ermine
Speaker’s ironing expense for tie rejected due to lack of evidence
does anybody know if madonna has stopped crying yet?
TEE HEE
She’s volunteered to adopt the kids, but Angelina Jolie has put in a higher bid.
The Penguin
Latest: they’ve both been gazumped by Gary Glitter
Ooh err!
Speaker’s trick repetoire doubles after reinforcement is deployed in Westminster.
If he had any sort of decent feeling he would piss all over Berkow – job done.
Wary looking horse to Michael Jackson:
” Fuckin”ell, I fort you was ded! ”
Michael Jackson to horse:
” No way Dobbin. I was gettin fed up with the previous game so I decided to reinvent meself as a Speaker. So far its worked”
FOR GUIDO-
Mr Speaker- Did you know that my bloodline goes back to Byerly Turk
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Byerly_Turk
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/20/BattleOfBoyne.gif
Horse to Bercow. You only got one tie mate?
New speaker welcomes the first of new labour’s eco friendly rapid response vehicles for our hard pressed boys at the front.
This is the Superman to my Clark Kent…
“That’s funny – the front end doesn’t look like Prescott at all….”
secret photos are leaked of labours plan b for speaker, that they would indeed put forward calligulas horse !!
or
as speaker bervow unveils his modernisation plan for parliment , questions are still being asked about his expenses and his second home known as “the stables” and the choice of employee. One journo said “i thought it was odd when i found the name of his office assistant was giscard distang and could not be contacted when the local race meet was on ”
or
Speaker bercows unusual political journey as a mp from youthfull rightwinger to eurpean socialist has left a trail of photo oppertunities that he no longer wants to comment about in this one he mistaken took neil kinnocks invite for a grooming session at face value , “treat em like cattle” said neil , its the only way you will get on in the labour party .
McMental has totally lost it. As Berco poses with Browns choice for new “mare “of London !
I’ll bet your one of those New Forest ponies that’s ooooooooooh so friendly.
Horse: “Anyone want to see me ‘flip’ this Hoon?”
‘Join the green party, you say? Oh, but I shouldn’t…’
I bought him off Gordon Brown.! He’s called Shergar.!
It’s confirmed britan is now viewed as “A ONE HORSE TOWN”
Hoppa, hoppa Reiter
Wenn er fällt dann schreit er
Fällt er in den Graben
fressen ihn die Raben
Fällt er in die Hecken
Fressen ihn die Schnecken
Fällt er in die Müllermücken
Die ihn vorn und hinten zwicken
Fällt er in den Sumpf
Dann macht der Reiter – plumps!
Fuken offen back to ze faterland
We know where you buy your chips Scouser.
Wenn’s Arscherl brummt
Ist’s Herscherl g’sund!
Verpiss Dich. Du riesen Arschlock!
“To be homest, Sally’s always had trouble finding it, but with these guys, their sense of smell makes it a piece of cake – which is what it looks like really, I’m afraid”
16.5 hands at the anal sphincter… truly, a horse’s ass!!!
Horse with it’s pile of horse shit spotted in central London.
This is ground breaking technology that will complement the 21st century. We will be delivering express mail by pony, we just need to think of a name.
This will make you laugh.
I’ve entered my horse for a flying 5 furlong dash next week and my jockey will be Nadine Dorries.
At least she will still have the whip
Smallwidge ! SEEK HELP !
Poison dwarf to horse : “There, there, I know you’re hurt but Caligula did promise I would be next”.
When I said I was going to get on my high horse I thought I was going to get a stallion, not a pony that has been eating opium poppies.
John Bercow showing off gordon’s latest ‘investment’ plan for army transport in Afghanistan.
Horse and Hoond
Or even shorter, “Horse and Hoon”
It beat a thoroughbred
“The dick on this horse is as long as an MP’s nose”
says Pinnochio Bercow.
The person who called 911 didn’t mention Michael Jackson’s name once. Did Michael Jackson die, or one of his millions of doubles?
The call-handler was fucking useless. The caller had already stated “the man” had no pulse and wasn’t breathing, so what did the silly bastard ask next? “Is he conscious?” What a knob-head.
One of them needs a tongue tie
Don’t worry dobbin I got the job and you get to keep your Head
When I told all those labour hoons I was going to make ‘em an offer they could not refuse they believed me.
A Horse thou knowest, a man thou dost not know. (Tennyson)
A Horse! A Horse! My Kingdom for a Horse! ( Shakespeare)
where the fuck’s my horse ?John Wayne !
My price was a roll in the hay with a well hoofed filly – not this!
whos the creep in the suit ?
, and when l’m Emperor, l will either marry you, or you will be my Envoy to Rome
Gimp in suit wins the ‘Who has a shadow which looks most like Satan?’ competition, 2009.
“Please Mr Speaker…
Don’t change the ‘First Past the Post System”
New speaker announced. Deeper trough needed… but hey, no long faces. He’ll give the rest a run for their money.
Vote for me or the Pony dies!
You’re right, that shadow on the horse of my head does look like Disraeli.
[horse] “Well, don’t worry Bercow, we’ve all had our snouts in the nose-bag…”
[horse ] ‘Bugger ! I was the 500-1 outsider, and this creep sneaked up the rails and took it !’
“I get a little horse when my Zionist amorality overcomes me”
or
BerkCow to Horse: “Do as I scream, not as I do!!”
Horse to BerkCow: “Zionists like you are stealing our feedbags! Kaufman for Speaker!”
l wonder if he voted to go to war with Blair?
The new Speaker already feels a little hoarse.
Just haffing a leetle feel for ze jugular.
I am a little horse
My love’s a pony
Animal sex shame of gay speaker, BBC should be hanged, more balls than Mr Ed
“I have stolen Guido’s Shadow”………
Scuse me if I go on at length – I feel like having a nag.
Bercow is saying “after all that shouting Order Order I am feeling a Little Horse”
‘Never mind the quality: feel the width!’
“I tell you, this truly is Shergar! Trust me!”
Front and back end in same picture
victorious speaker consoling Margaret Becket -
“I’ve had her – she’s rubbish.”
… Becket the caravan pony and Toad of Toad Hall, who dumped the old nag due to his increasing obsession with big expensive cars.
What a cad!