Clean Hands in Parliament
Is this what they mean by cleaning up parliament? This poster has gone up in all the loos on the parliamentary estate. For MPs too stupid to understand the correct procedure…
Digested Read : Maya by Alastair Campbell – John Crace
What Happened To 19 Secretive Tories? – LibDemVoice
Charged MPs Still Take Labour Whip – Paul Waugh
Labour Distances Itself from Official Law Firm – Iain Dale
Labour Party’s Solicitor Defends Theft Charged MPs’ – Telegraph
Doing Emotional – Jon Craig
Gordon Brown’s Policy Inventions - Fink
Conservatives Need Clear, Discernable Principles – Fraser Nelson
Union’s £75 Million Lever on Labour – News of the Screws
Cameron Has to Come Up With Something Better – Fraser Nelson
Republican Twitter Kings – Time
Prosecute Racketeering MPs – Times
Yeo’s Pre-Blogged Ambush – Indy
 |
Sarah Palin said…
“A year later, I gotta ask the supporters of all that, ‘How’s that hopey, changey thing working out for ya?’ “
-Gilts (Mar)
As of 28 Jan 2010 +5.8%
It’s also in the expense claim launderette.
fancy telling all these GERM’S to stop spreading !
WET = wet lettuce fingers !
SOAP = be as slippery as possable !
WASH =wash your hands of any allegations !
RINSE =rinse away any evidence of over claiming on expences !
DRY = the state of the public purse after you leave office !
Gordons Unused Moral Compass is up on Ebay
HERE
Oddly enough, no bids yet. I wonder why that would be
Perhaps Jim Knight could take some advice on personal grooming. His publicity shot on the Beeb website makes his beard look rather, um, crooked.
Crooked beard, dodgy man (so the proverb goes).
Got to be worth £2……
How appropriate – its in the ‘Camping’ section.
because it’s fucked ! it only points down !
At £3.60 when I looked. Love the picture of said compass.
So people in the private sector are less hygienic? And remind me, when was the NHS privatised?
Some wag has already written “IF YOU HAVE JUST COME FROM MANDY’S THEN NOW WASH YOUR COCK”
So the cleaning services wash nurses hands? They’re not allowed to do it themselves anymore?
Fuck me, like a need a brain like yours.
You’re just being silly now, and rude.
and you seem to be replying to yourself
Some posts have been deleted.
“Dr MICK YA PRICK — within a privatised ethos TIME IS MONEY so the nurses CUT CORNERS TO MAKE CASH — it’s human nature ya stoooopid fuck.”
Yet another scotcher ZaNuLab lover, with anger management “issues”, well it was posted at 5:59 so the clown is probably on his tenth Tennents Super of the day. Ho hum.
Another notch hehehe
If it’s true in the private sector, it’s also true in the NHS. I’ve just come from a meeting with GPs and Practice Managers where all the talk was of how they could save or make more money. Don’t forget that GP’s are all independent businesses and always have been. It’s just that for most of them their main customer is the NHS. Therefore they and their employees (practice nurses etc) are motivated by the profit motive as well as doing the best they can for the patient. To be fair, most of them do at least give lip service to putting the patients first.
Most dentists, opticians, and pharmacists are also private. Even the ones operating an NHS service are actually private businesses, so what is all this nonsense about a privatised NHS? It already is mostly privatised, and always has been.
Mr Fawkes are you washing your hands on BBC’s troughing?
Wads of it today
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23712176-details/Executives+on+six-figure+salaries+charge+the+taxpayer+for+parties+and+presents/article.do
Are you not aware that Mr Fawkes might have his eye on position in the esteemed organisation.
Tell us that’s a grotesque falsehood Mr F….
Typical socialist crap.
We the state tell you what to do because we know better.
Now wash your hands.
And no you’re not getting an election.
You need to calm down sonny or you could have a heart attack and end up under the dirty hands of an NHS nurse. Don’t worry about the brain though, little chance of you overexerting that.
But no instructions on how to deal with a red-raw ring-piece……
A little advertised fact that since Welsh hospital cleaning contracts have been drawn back into the control of the nhs, the hospital aquired infection rate has dropped significantly, ie the budget is spent on cleaning rather than on managers tryinn to extract as much profit as possible. Read it and weep.
Didn’t the NHS control the cleaning contracts before ? Trouble was, no one was being held responsible for the conduct of those contracts, including invoking penalties for non-performance etc.
Piss poor management is/was the problem
The cleaning duties were taken out of the NHS control in 1979 when the cleaning staff went on strike and picketed hospitals refusing to let ambulances deliver patients for treatment. Those that died were then refused entry to the local churchyards to be buried because the grave diggers were on strike.
I remember – wasn’t that when we had the other labour government? Callaghan was the culprit then. just like Gordon now.
Labour’s fees office clearly needs to be thoroughly disinfected along with the tainted staff who authorized the alleged ‘improper’ claims. They’ve yet to be ‘hosed out’.
eh up i got 93 in the 20/20
Congrats, well deserved Freddie.
The poster has it wrong
The power is in the hands of the electorat if and when we get an election
Arrogant bastards
election now
No the wrong bit is that stop germs spreading, you should vote Tory.
Equality means everyone is stupid
“You know how dumb the average person is? Well, by definition, half of them are even dumber than that!”
Labour bringing everyone down to the lowest common denominator.
It’s laughable trying to stop all these PIG’S catching SWINE flu !
That deduction is, in gereral, false. For instance, the average person has slightly fewer than two legs*, perhaps 1.999, but only quite a small number of people have less legs than that.
*Most people have two legs. Some people have one leg while others have no legs. Nobody has more than two legs. Therefore the average person has fewer than two legs.
Jake the Peg?
A great man once said:
“Miss Rigby! Stella, my love! Would you please send in the next auditioner, please…..”
Have you allowed for the 3 legged son of the manx
Surely a good number must be exactly as dumb as the average.
Liebour means equality of stupidity for all
I object. I may admit to many failings but I will never admit to being as stupid as George Osborne.
This is just typical Nanny State crap. At least the tossers and hoons who brought it all in get to reap the “benefits”…
You could do the soap first before wetting the hands. It’s an option, but maybe it will not pass the scrutiny of the Health & Safety Nazis.
So now these H&S “professionals” have infiltrated parliament? Do you know what these fuckers get paid fpr producing these pathetic little posters? Lots and lots. Aye they do.
Hopefully part of Dave’s 10% cuts
Has noone realised that Daves reference to 10% cuts referred to reducing the strength of the white powder in shadow cabinet meetings.
*
*
*
*
BLEACH
BLEECH
BLAETCH
BLEETCH
Printer’s buggered again…
When in trough WASH HANDS!!!!!
Simples!!
Mandlbum ….. First mate!! Broon take note.
Wasn’t the first mate Seaman Stains?
The only reason this piece of filth was installed in HP bogs is the ‘bottom line’, which is so important to the corporatist banksters and their political stooges:
THE POWER IS IN YOUR HANDS…
…not forgetting that in Hebrew there are no vowels and ‘nahash’ means serpent…(remove repeating consonants as well….get it?)
I’d rather drink Muddy Water
use vim you mofos
Dear All
In this time of flu this and flu that, it is good to see that there are still ads about washing your bollocks properly in Westminister.
It is the handstanding to dry them that causes me the biggest problem!
I wobble because of lack of arm strength!
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
this rectal advice sign hang’s above my bed . how dare you copy it ?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/5627346/Why-the-burka-is-part-of-Britain.html
Well, we do wear socks and shoes , so the ugly women can wear so called bin bags…. If muslim men think their women are…. not pretty.. or ugly so be it
I have no problem with that. MMMM some Brittish women need tents. the ugly fat ones with tattoos.YUK
Bloody sad!!!
what do there passport photo’s look like ?
Someone trying to hook your car keys from the outside peering in
Its the right thing to do. Ie completey fuck the country up beyond all recognition. That will teach the do nothing tories (once we change the demographics so its impossible for them to be voted in)
Try making sure you have the correct burka-wearing student taking an exam and not a stand-in. And that’s when you get accused of Islamophobia and racism. Nice.
Never, never, never, never. Blood has been splilled and bones splintered to drag this country out of the middle ages. Don’t be fooled into letting it back in through the back door.
back door you say?
The burka makes a useful disguise for terrorists. Remember Omar, the July 21 bomb suspect who fled London in a burka? And the burka robberies in the West Midlands last March? Why should we allow these medieval, pre-enlightenment morons to erode the liberal values that our ancestors fought to create?
There are going to be an awful lot of parliamentary hoons with wet trousers. The designer of the notices forgot the first few vital steps:
Number Vun: Undo fly zip etc…….
brilliant – lots of assumptions in this notice.
what about the dangers of wet soap – dropping it and slipping on it?? squezing it and it flying across the bathroom potentially injuring a colleague??
Haha!
we’re not daft in H & S you know!!
And look how many people have drowned in water….
Best way to ensure its done is to pay them. £20 a wash should do it. Indeed, you could fill the hand towel and toilet roll dispensers with fresh £20s to make it easier for them
Sack the lot of ‘Em
..except inthe PM’s lav, where it reads
Extend
Gouge
Withdraw
Ingest
Wipe
Yeuch!
You beat me to it Newgirl – my usual response would be ‘eeeooowwwwww’.
is this what they mean by clearing up their fuckin shit
Nanny state gone mad. There will be signs telling them to shake their John Thomas before putting it back next.
they’re already on the urinal
is that after you’ve pulled out of your researcher david ?
I see McBust (allegedly it was him) has pulled the scheme to top up MPs’ pensions. Perhaps he would also like to stop any further taxpayer subsidies to their restaurant and bars and ensure that they pay the going rate for their meals?
What is it about these troughers that compels them to eat at our expense? The £400 per month was bad enough.
They’ve topped their bloody pensions up within the last 2 years – with taxpayers money!
keeping the Liebour backbenchers quiet doesnt come cheap
Mr Burnham and Ms Keen will be holding wringing demonstrations in Cttee room 14 from 18:45 to 19:45 this evening and from 08:30 to 09:15 tomorrow. Please bring a towel.
It’s rather like the £million campaign in Scotland to teach the populace how to wash and dry their hands.
Oh I dunno Nell, some expenditure is really justified :-)
They are literally addicts, addicted to spending money – on any old rubbish doesn’t matter what.
We need to take the keys to the Treasury away and tell them they can’t spend for a year – I bet they’d get withdrawal symptoms.
So you are using the other half of your brain cell this evening, it’s no different, my mistake.
Hey Anonymous – Guido has taken Spoedo away !
Hi Nell, Yeah he’s been eradicated, thank…………!
Er, No. Pissed again like we did last summer.
I’m not sure he should have done that. If all of us posting on here agree with one another – is that a meaningful debate? What do you thing Anonymous/NewGirl?
Right again Nell, it destroys the thread and makes us look like..?
nell,
the reason that you and new girl and engineer and anonymous misogynist and doctor dildo and the homeless tramp steve expat all agree is because you are all running on the same computer programme that was downloaded onto your memory circuits by conservative HQ.
fucking hell, this is like a scene out of bladerunner for fucks sake.
nell, you do know that you are a torydalek, don’t you?
and my job is to rip the wires out of tory daleks like you and to smash the brains out of zanulab satanist new labour trolls.
If I cannot have a hanged parliamentarian then I insist upon a hung parliament.
and in order to achieve that aim I will follow a two pronged line of attack:
I will exterminate torydaleks.
and I will crack zanulab skulls.
so begins the final chapter in the epic and heroic tale of thick as thieves.
Hi TWaT, Your wrong sonny Jim. We want to see the light.
how will you see the light if you are so dim and blind?
We need to run, like in the film.
The question is not yours to ask, How?
Sorry everyone, I woke up with sticky pants and I now realise it was all a dream
330,
ah, another thief stealing what is mine.
you dreamt that you were the peoples hero 330, dreamt you were the great thick as thieves.
but when you awoke you realised that you were just a thieving tory c’unt.
hold on a minute…..hmmm….. you are the multi millionaire housing benefit cheat david cameron and I claim my 5 million pounds.
you will still have twenty five million pounds left.
and do tell us dave, why did you, a multi millionaire, make false housing benefit claims from the public purse.
you thieving fucking bastard dave.
fuck you c’unt.
well I meant think!!! – spelling ????!!!
296 Thick – I am a Fenwoman – We are known as FenTigers.
Independent thinkers. Not linked to anybody’s computers except our own.
Brown worries about we free thinking people because he is all about central control. He has a compulsion to tell us how many times we might inhale/exhale every minute and a tendency to tax us for it.
Ahh1 Of Course! He is the reincarnated Stalin!!!
Reincarnated Stalin – and this time no more Mister Nice Guy.
WASH SOAP WANK WASH RINSE DRY.
Guido, With a name like yours, I thought you’d recognise the cryptic reference to the Tangentopoli corruption scandal involving Bettino Craxo and Mario Chiesa of the Socialist Party in Italy around 1992. The press called the subsequent investigation mani pulite (clean hands). Many of those caught out ended up in galera (prison) and one committed suicide. Oh, and the people’s answer, apart from taxi drivers throwing 1,000 Lira notes in disgust outside the assembly building in Milan, was to write Craxi in galera on walls all over the city, which is probably where half our bunch ought to be. Trouble is, Craxi did a runner!
Ciao
The idiots have used the wrong picture, surely? It should have been an animation of their GOB
I bet they have similar signs in their office telling them how to fill in expense claim forms too…
Its just like the one on the door Gordon enters into the Commons at PMQs
Waffle (when questioned)
Stall (when clueless)
Wriggle (when caught out)
Rubbish (any dissent)
Deviate (from the point)
Its how he manages to be consistent every week at PMQs…
Not consistent, regular (as in bowel movement) Trouble is he spouts shite from the wrong end!!
I think for ‘wriggle’ you should substitute ‘Lie (when caught out)’- he just does it so regularly.
I had to make it match Nell!! With the letters…
Sorry NewGirl! I didn’t appreciate that!
Can anyone think of a word beginning with W that equates with lies?
whoppers? as in telling big ones
NewGirl, do you think that Mr Brown is obligated to answer the questions??
PMQs is now a complete joke, yesterday Cameron asked the same question to Broon six times, and still didn’t get an answer – what is he supposed to do?
PMQs is a pointless exercis, I know. He never answers anything. Makes me shout at the telly.
But your never in to watch it?
You missed celebrate, when he realises its only Dopey Dave again. If we are ever to get rid of Broon we need something other than an inbred Etonian retard to oppose him.
BECOME AN MP ?
Should read:
Wet
Soap
Wank
That sign hangs in Master Baiter’s house.
What does it say in the girl’s lavs?
Dry your hands before you get back in your window.
great answer!!!
***Applause***
Why thank you lads….!
Can me and my mate go dutch?
It says “our girlie pooh smells like roses”…..at least, it should.
What instructions do they have in the House of Commons lavs, then? (1) Lower trousers (2) Pull knickers down (3) Imagine the electorate are underneath your bottom…….. need I go on?
Yes please.
My hands are clean.
Seriously.
I wash my hands of the lot of them! It’s a wonder my council don’t tell me how to do it, wash my hands I mean…oh they do, and the taxpayer pays for the adverts and signs too…ohhhh bugger! So that’s what the North East adverts are all about?
Sky News is free, numbnutz.
Come back in August when you can tell us how to get Sky Sports for free.
Setanta is free now (well, you don’t pay for it any more!)
Don’t worry Doctor Mick, Freddie will keep you up to date in August!
covers up previous “all within the rules” one
HOLD OUT HANDS
FILL OUT EXPENSE FORM
CASH THOROUGHLY
LAVISH
TROUGH
“We will uphold the highest standards of integrity” – Gordon Brown
This is why we have retained a minister in our government:
- who defended allegations that he received a benefit from a known political supporter in the form of a below market rent on his constituency home/’office 2′ by claiming to have made up the difference to his landlord in cash payments, even though he has been unable to provide specific documentary evidence in support of such claims;
- who is part of a government that has sent our country’s servicemen to war and death, but has asked taxpayers to fund the memorial wreaths he laid on Remembrance Day, a “mistake” made not just once but twice;
- who has been reappointed as Communities Minister even though he overclaimed for Council Tax in his parliamentary expenses, again without providing documentary evidence;
- who arrogantly continues to disregard the pertinent interest of the public in this petty fraud by claiming to have acted “a million percent within the rules”?
NOW WASH YOUR HANDS PLEASE!
You read it as an honest intention. You really should know better by now. I read it as a prediction, but doomed to fail from his own psychosis.
They might have clean hands but I doubt they have clean consciences.
Thanks. I thought so.
Interesting video from the Telegraph about redactions:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newsvideo/?bcpid=4464161001&bctid=26749096001
Thanks for that. We’ll make sure it never happens again.
“….(just not well kent).”
does that mean it doesn’t work well in kent?
so that’s how you do it.
Ha ha so now you know!
61 is a thief who has stolen my name. you fucking thief, for that is what you are.
this happens to me quite a lot actually.
it is because I am a hero because I bash so many fucking brains out that the enemy is forced to resort to stealing my name. pathetic innit.
but I must admit that I am quite pleased really when they do it.
take this example at 61. this thief is very sneaky posting a fairly innocuous comment having stolen my moniker.
new girl is ofcourse too dim to realise this but any idiot will know that I don’t post banal comments like that, mine are much more expressive.
so he’s waiting to see if I’m around and if I pick up on it before he continues misusing my name.
well I am here you thieving c’unt.
final warning retard.
you will be banned if you do it again.
thankyou.
it happens to me as well. a fucking lot you fucker.
I got caught wanking on a bus in catford. I was on my way to the bowling in Lewisham but I thought I’d stop off for a kebab on the way. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I caught a glimpse of Patricia Hewit in a burka – or was it? It doesn’t really matter – I was upstairs on the 132 and no one could see me. Or so I thought.
dear fans,
fuck off.
thankyou.
time for me ovaltine and bye byes. fuck off fans
thankyou.
One is surprised that it’s taken as long as it has for the notices to go up. Perhaps if some of the ‘97 arrivals on the Government benches had been made aware of civilized behaviour a litle earlier we might not be in the mess we’re in.
Turn on TV
Lubricate
Rub
Ejaculate
Wipe
Dispose
Submit Invoice
They probably have it in 50 different languages.
Well, we can’t see anyone being hard-done-by, can we.
Duh, I get mine free now.
Turn on TV
Lubricate
Rub
Ejaculate
Clean
Dispose
Submit Invoice
Oh for Gawd’s – not AGAIN!
I’d take away all their bog roll and replace it with bunches of stinging nettles.
Nooooo. All you have to do is rub some scotch bonnet chillies on the loo paper. They might be able to feel our pain then.
There should be a sign saying this is the sink Two Jags used to wash his cheesy cock in before he gave me some gristle sausage.
Walls.
Me mate was a spark working in Two gags(after 7 bargain buckets from KFC) hotel room during the last conference inBrighton. Our former DPM shaved in the sink and didn’t even pull the plug after, threw his wet towels all over the bloody place which also stunk like a geriatric gastro-Intestinal ward. What a twat, and he was the token working class Govt member- he treated the poor hotel staff like something you would find on the bottom of your shoe. Another aquaintance of mine in Brighton new the fat twat whilst they were both studying at Ruskin and before the first year exams found him in the pub actually crying because he believed he was not clever enough to pass the exams- a rare moment of insight!!! This guy helped him with his studies and the rest is history. This guy still says it’s his biggest regret in life. This guy was also imprisoned and tortured in Apartheid South Africa shame the fat class traitor will get away with his crimes. But at least once in his life he was aware that he is a thick bastard. I bet he even was crap at making a G&T.
Love Dixie
A sensitive and insightful post! Thanks.
Guido, what are you doing hanging around the bogs at Westminster?
Off message: When do you get a go on Question Time?
He asks the questions.
Why don’t you use the other half of your brain cell this evening?
That explains a lot. I’ve never conversed with an amoeba before.
Sky news is free anyway you Dork.
Actually not quite true as you have to subscibe to the TV licence tax to watch it.
So why does:
Gordon clean his nose with his fingers.
Lick them off in his mouth
And dry them on his tie?
Can’t he read?????
don’t they employ people to wipe their bottoms?
Imagine the appalling stench of a joint visit by Prescott and McDoom…ah the insanity, the depravity, the eye watering hell
Little Lord Sodomite must love it
I have my favourite cubicle and listen in!
What on earth is going on?
When I was a lad we used to shit, piss, wank, eat, scratch, work, feel and wash our hands once every week.
You must have been brought up in a middle class household – it was a long walk for my mum to the standpipe. Once a month was luxury for us kids.
The inverse of an expenses comparison meeting for four Yorkshire mps.
You were lucky we used to get showered under’t spray from’t out o’ date dandelion and burdock pop bottles me dad saved special like.
Ohh bless! How sweeet!
It’s got little pictures for MPs who can’t read.
Guardian Jobs Page:
Westminster Shite & Piss ACTION TEAM (WSPT)
In the past three years in Westminster, we have been proactive in addressing Shite & Piss issues through the robust commissioning of services and projects to match need while working closely with a range of partners. We’ve come a long way, but we’re keen to go further, so we need innovative and experienced professionals to join us.
£32,211- £34,707 p.a. inc.
This is an interesting role in a demanding area that requires the ability to think ahead, plan and manage staff, partners, and customers with skill and diplomacy. You will ensure the effective provision of administration and services while building a performance management culture within the Shite & Piss team.
A seasoned shirt lifter, you will have the ability to lead and manage a team of empowered administrative workers and co-ordinate the team’s workload. During your considerable experience, you will have built up a sound understanding of a wide range of arse techniques and hygene following.
Quote ref: WSP569.
For further information and to apply, please visit http://www.shite&piss.gov.uk/jobs-careers Alternatively, please call Bum bandit on oh oh oh quoting the relevant reference
Closing date: 8 July 2009. Interview dates: 20 to 24 July 2009.
Through the Local Government Pension Scheme, the Council offers a generous and competitive final salary scheme and the chance to meet real swordsmiths.
Encouraging Diversity and Promoting Talent and Cleaner arse to mouth technique with Clean Hands.
Westminster
INVESTOR IN PEOPLE
.
Well done that gave me a good laugh.
It is not too far from the truth either but perhaps shite and piss would be – Global Human Resources Recycling and Eradication.
Spot on, sorry for the error…
They forgot to add, RESIGN.
Eleanor Laing has been ordered by Call Me Dave to pay £25,000. to kind of ,address the unease of the electorate.
It was clear that she profited by almost one million pound from the sale of
her tax payers paid accomodation.
How was that sum of £25,000.reached.
Is it anything to do with Pythagrous Therum or is it just
smoke ,smoke and mirrors and mirrors?
Apparently she is arranging a loan to allow her to afford this payment.
This female HOON is a HOON withot comparision.
Even if I could spell ‘X’ I wouldn’t vote for her at the next G.E.
God,I have never been so overtly mugged in my life by anyone ,let alone someone whose wages I pay.
Who the fuck is going to lend this whore 25k?
Go on Dave, you can afford it
The ones who wanted war have too much blood on their hands. Brown and Blair could scrub for a year and it would make no difference.
Out damn spot!!!
Just reading Norman Baker’s book on the death of Dr David Kelly.
bliar and alastair have too much blood on their hands to ever wash it away – not even with bleach.
Soon Birnham wood will march on Dunsane. Who here is not of woman born that can lay on with mac blair and mac campbell?
bet a few of the trolls were untimely ripped…
The three jags on the blasted heath: Blears, Smith and Flint. The tragic leader,Brown. Lady Macbeth, Lord Manbum of course.
Wait, this is not the ZaNuLiebor we all know and love, germs have lives too you know, you cannot just wipe them out!
Some may come from underprivileged backgrounds or may even be a minority ethnic germ, some may have freshly arrived from oversea and need urgent help. If your germy language is not listed in the 70 or more we have on offer, don’t worry we can arrange for an interpreter at public expense.
Glad the BBC is shitting bricks, lol at the BBC drones in the comments section on full spin mode all in Birmingham not realising we all know they are now based in Birmingham and know full well it’s sad Beeboids making the comments to save their own necks and pay cheques.
Dickheads think we’re thick as they wish we where.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1195396/A-Brucie-bonus-BBC-expenses-reveal-chief-gave-Forsyth-100-bottle-champagne-80th.html
Matt C
I think it’s significant that there have been concerted postings on MSM boards like Timesonline saying that this troughing of public money is perfectly reasonable.
One of them was suspiciously similar to a tosser who replied to an earlier comment I made – ‘If my boss told me to come back from holiday I’d expect them to pick up the bill’. Mmm…
Also, have HMRC been informed of taxable ‘benefits in kind’ such as dining, champagne, half the cost of a lost handbag and (Jenny Abramsky) ‘wrapping paper’.?
Exacatly dude exacatly it speaks for it’s self.
These people are out in full force trying to subvert and bend reality to their own will while around them the very people who afford them their luxury jobs and positions are losing their jobs or can’t find work on a daily basis.
When I was in Uni these scum would come marching in hand in hand with their uni staff cohorts and check dorm to dorm once a year to see if you had your license and each dorm has to have a seperate license can you believe it, 1000 people at the bare MINIMUM on campus having tv’s thus paying a full fee what a racket. If you where caught trying to cheat you got fined and then slapped down for breaking the ‘goodwill and breaching the trust of the uni residency’ terms and conditions bollox.
God knows the true extent of what they actually made from our uni and every uni’s up and down the country with this gestapo tactic they employ.
I tell ya after that happening to you the first time alot of us soon got smart quick and ditched the TV’s.
Matt C, change “Uni” to “varsity”, “Dorm” to “Staircase” and “Campus” to “Christ Church” for and you’ll be given a place on the Shadow Front Bench. Throw “Beaks” and “Pop” into the mix and you’ll get indemnity on CGT too. Just a kindly word of advice from an old codger.
There is only one policy which can work for the BBC
Sell off the profitable parts, keep the Film/Profuction Library as a Trust and wind up the rest
In 2009, there can be no intellectual justification for State owned and State run media…
Let all these self-appointed arrogant troughers live in the real world like everyone else in the media industry..
FULL STOP
Exactly
Power to the People means exactly that
The power and freedom to choose
No coertion
I though we had won this argument against Totalitarianism YEARS AGO
But the Beeboids still think they are exception
WHY ??
Is film/profuction something that Jacqui Smith’s husband can advise on?
No doubt…
But she and her husband are sad hasbeens…
How about a poster showing the “honourable members” how to find thier arse cheeks with both hands?
Open cheeks wide and let me get to work babes.
I suppose now there is going to be a rash of new Local Authority job adverts in the Guardian for Health and Hygiene Officers at £40,000pa, whose job it will be to tout these ridiculous notices around to every home insisting under Section so and so of such and such an Act, that we display one in every bathroom of the house.
And gordon will be saying ‘Look how good I am at job creation – another year and I will have cured unemployment.
Understand the disbelief, Nell.
Fortunately, it’s not that bad. HSE are not interested in what you do at home. There was recently some to-do about those who build model steam engines and their boilers at home. Boilers are dangerous, so should shed-based activities be regulated? The answer from HSE is that you can do what you like in the privacy of your own shed (raises eyebrow!); you are perfectly entitled to blow yourself up if you wat to. If you take your model to a public place (e.g. village fete) and put it into steam, you must first satisfy a proper boiler inspector, and hold appropriate insurance. That’s actually quite easy to do – and there are a lot of clubs and societies very willing to assist. I’d guess that similar rules apply to many activities.
So there you have it – public place, obey the rules; own home, your castle – do as you please!
Do you know Engineer – we are told that local children are going to have to wear surgical gloves when handling blu-tack because of health and safety requirements !!!!
We are no longer allowed to use egg boxes in children’s activities because of fear of infection or something – ask the question has there ever been a problem and the answer is No!
No doubt sand and plasticene are going to be similarly regulated!
How long before gordon concocts an Act that tells us how many times a minute we need to breathe. Oh no – I forgot that one’s going to be a law taxing us on oxygen consumption!!!!
Where will it all end?
It is all very well and good bbut what will they do to protect people from Alien abductions?
gordon will produce a White Paper on it quite soon – don’t worry .
It will result in posters in public toilets telling us to always travel with a companion ( so that he/she can report us mssing if we are mysteriously beamed up from earth) and advising us never to travel in the dark in case the aliens strike when no-one can see them.
Total cost of the policy will be in excess of £5million pa which will include – printing of posters and letter heads. the appointment of regional officers, commissioning of risk assessments, office overheads, and the purchasing of monitoring equipment.
This is the sort of thing that makes proper safety officers – as opposed to the jumped-up twerps – tear their hair out in frustration. Remember the famous conker controversy a couple of years ago? Apparently, the HSE sponsored the World Conker Championships, specifically to publicise their frustration at such toss-pottery (pardon the Industrial Esperanto, but they make me grind my teeth as well!). Nobody wore goggles. When the reporters asked the inevitable question, they were told quite straightforwardly “The risk is very low – how many people have been blinded by conkers? Take approprite precautions – don’t put your head in line of fire!”.
I gather they had a lot of fun.
If someone tries to swing this stuff on you, ask to see the Risk Assessment. Ten pounds to a pinch of dung they haven’t done one, and if they have, I’ll bet its’s a parody of common sense.
This is something I get a bit worked up about. My professional duties have included design work on plant to contain and process some of the nastiest substances known to man; the risk involved was very high, and the standards of design and construction were commensurate with those risks – as they damn well should be. All this fussing about nothing is just plain stupidity.
That is what I keep telling you all.
In my experience, most safety officers are interested in statistics and consequently their bonuses. If there is an incident, the first question is, is he a contractor (as opposed to staff) and then, did it happen on the worksite? Convenient answers can avoid “recordables”. A fatality can stop the job (& the bonus) so the primary concern is to weasel your way out of it.
Safety Officers preach “everyone is responsible for safety”, everyone that is, except the safety officers.
How many injured guys have been wheeled into a site office to sit bandaged in front of a computer so that they are not recorded as a Day Away from Work Case? Loads, man.
And HSE are all pissheads.
There are good and bad in all walks of life. Some employers do use dodgy practices. If you end up working for one, seek alternative employment at the first opportunity.
I can only say that my experiences with HSE have been quite positive.
See #101…..! :>)
I certainly hope there will be a rash – a pox on each and every trougher.
OK enough – anyone supporting labour is now a legitimate target.
Wash and Brush Up Sir?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA……..
I know how to spell “Their”
I just fucking choose not to
The NHS has probably paid for this stupid sign to be printed. Good start on cutting out waste. Can’t this shower of spongers pay for anything out of their own pocket? Having to tell them how to wash their hands? These people are employed to run the country.
Everything that has gone wrong is the fault of the tories, it was there policies what done it all those years ago!
I do know how to spell their, but bloke in charge of indoctrination and propaganda says the “i” and the “e” dont matter any more so I spelt it the way I fancied.
American politician on channel 4 now, telling the truth!!!
Caught with his trousers down. That is what I call humility.
Someone in the nut house, turn it over so Gordo can watch it
Which company made the notice, who put it up, and how many notices have been produced and installed.?
How was the contract allocated and who took the decision on the contractor.?
Big contract; all Government washrooms; big money; big fiddle.
And don’t forget the all important question – How Much Did It Cost ?
I’m sure that the contract was given to one of Gorbals’ good friends – nepotism in action…
The contract was carried out by a firm of cleaners engaged by Gordon’s brother. The cost has been shared with the Houses of Parliament. This represents good value for the taxpayer.
I would bet the company name ended with ICA.
The sign does explain wether you should carry out these instrctions before or after a dump
delete instrctions and add instructions
Or at the same time
Now wash your hands! You know it makes sense. Oh, sorry, you don’t.
Very apposite, seeing as the DM is currently carrying two stories of troughing zanu liebore porkers. After a good troughing, a good hosing is entirely in order.
“Size 16 female Labour MP claims crisps, doughnuts and a whole tuck shop full of goodies on her expenses”, illustrated with photos as only the DM can.
Meanwhile 5 Bellies heaves them all over the parapet to have a whine at the invitation of the BBC – “A lot of language that has been used, not only about me but about other women politicians as well, I just don’t think would be used about men actually”. Get a life ducks – moronic incompetant thieving hypocritical hoon is not sexist.
We would complain about a fat bastard MP if we were expected to pay for his wife’s porn habits. You were treated equally which just goes that you do not want equality
The only thing that might cleanse parliament is an election
I bet those Corus workers were happy to have Elliot pontificating about them losing their jobs
Once the only steel plant is closed we are really fucked when the next war comes about.
What has happened to the national interest FFS.
I am very interested in selling it off at the lowest possible price, at the last possible moment, to one of my dear Russian friends.
been sold to the Indians. Corporatism/Communism recognises no nation states or national interests. And as for war, do you really think bombing Serbia, Afghanistan or Iraq was ‘for Britain’?
I think Britain owes Afghanistan a kicking or two after what they did to us in the 19thC.
quick, doctor dildo is having another one of her episodes!
you will have to go back on a section doctor mick, you are exhibiting and publishing psychotic thoughts and you are a danger to others.
you haven’t been taking your medications, have you? but you know that medicine compliance is a condition of you living in the community.
what will it take to clear your warmongering zionist mind of all its violence and racism and hatred doctor mick?
I firmly believe that an intensive and prolonged programme of ECT is the only way forward for you now doctor mick.
it’s the only way.
You sound like a psychotherapist, thicko
sorry – if my buttplug falls out I get a bit funny
you sound like you need one doctor dildo.
PEACE IN ISRAEL AND PALESTINE 2009.
good news, innit.
It won’t happen. The Arab elite have a vested interest in continuing hostilities against the only democracy in the Middle East.
yes it will.
you will do as you are told.
thankyou.
It is about time you followed Italy’s lead.
and surrendered….
I was talking about putting thieving politicians in jail. A nice space for 5 or is it 6 Bellies to prove that female thieves get treated just like male thieves.
O/T sorry. Last week gordon pledged to talk to Tata about protecting jobs in Corus .
Tonight Corus announces that 1920 jobs are going.
How predictable. They really should lock gordon up in no.10 so he can’t keep damaging the economy.
Has he been to Luton yet?
He dare not go – he’s afraid the growing sleazy scandal surrounding his Luton Labour MP M*rgaret M will bring people out on the streets to boo him!
He’d get a warm welcome from our Muslim brothers no doubt.
And where is the Business Secretary whenever these redundancies are announced??
Hiding in the Bunker also ??
Useless fraud and spiv…
Wet
Soap
Wash
Rinse
Dry
Leave Building
Don’t Come Back
Move Stone
Crawl under
Apply for job at piss and shite executve
Excuse me that wouldnt be The Global Human Resources Recycling and Eradication unit would it? !!!
I stand corrected
Could we add ‘Empty pockets and brief-case before leaving’? Just in case they think they can get away with it….
Looks like Dennis Mc Shane after a full frontal labotomy, an operation I would like to personally execute on that traitor with a kitchen knife and a soup spoon
I’d sooner have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
Cameron said on Sky TV that members of his party “broke the rules” and has made some Conservatives pay some of the falsley claimed money back. I don’t think he’’s gone far enough. If he wanted to set an example, they should have paid it all back!
Exactly, token gestures are insufficient. I want FULL payback mother fuckers.
He maybe hasn’t gone far enough but they are paying back a further £125,000.
The main question here is – How much is gordon making his Labour MP’s pay back?
And let’s not forget here that there are more Labour MP’s and more Labour offenders in this expenses scandal. (16 of the top 20 troughers were Labour)
i want em shot up the arse , all of em
Freddie. An Ashes win, with three five wicket hauls and a couple of centuries and you can win the Buckingham seat for us all at the General Election. Do you have the balls?
Hit 90 odd, and post at the same time, what a talent.
thats what the ecb pays me for
freddie can walk on water! And drink anything that isn’t.
freddie give us a wave.freddie freddie give us a wave
I want to know why you aren’t concentrating all your efforts on getting fit for the ashes!
i hit 93 last night i am fit and i took 2 wickets
The flaw in all this is very obvious – the hand washing is logical
BUT…… AND ITS A BIG BUT…. what about the Toilet door exit handle? you know – its the one you have to grab knowing that some dirty (socialist) will not have washed his/her hands after going to the bogs.
I always think about this. Why should I wash piss off my hands (if any got on them, which is rare) when all the dirty, chavvy leftie bastard scum just fuck off.
I sometimes come to the conclusion that my dick is somewhat cleaner than the towel.
So I rub my hands vigourously there until hands are dry!!!
Don’t confuse it with the liquid soap dispenser.
Toilet door should be pull to enter, push(with foot) to exit – a design flaw long on my mind
Only the stupid and obnoxious ones have been deleted. Hang on… right… I see… yes ALL of yours have been deleted.
QUIZ
Quote from Gordon on the BBC website. Now then, what is he taking about and is it related to this sign?
They had not employed any “ultra, ultra criminals” but needed the expertise of former “naughty boys”, he added.
“You need youngsters who are deep into this stuff… If they have been slightly naughty boys, very often they really enjoy stopping other naughty boys,” he said.
Its cyber police recruits they’re after so they can find the best porn for Lodge nights – noquestions asked.
Now young man be a good chap, step off with your left foot and then bend down over the Chair.
Crackers?
Two things.
1) This is Guido’s gig, he makes the rules. You can read them if you go to the top of the page and click on “About”.
2) Try a couple of posts without being downright offensive to other posters. You might get one or two through.
How does Twat get his through then?
He’s got a copy of Guido’s expenses.
TaT was banned about a year ago, but he’s crept his way in again by being especially nice to people.
Unbelievable? You should see what he was like before.
He is at least reasonably amusing. Sometimes.
(Aargh – this damn finger puppet thing is really starting to bug me – have to turn the sound down for every post!)
to be made an example of
NG – he has been pretty damned offensive. Had a right go at Nell last night, and been generally irritating and downright offensive on previous threads. I think Guido’s sanitised the worst of it. Well done, Guido.
A thought. If we delete those who disagree with our views can we have a proper debate?
Do we want a blog where all the comments are approving of each other?
What makes the pearl? – the grit!!!!
Fair point, but there’s a difference between sensible – even heated – debate, and outright gratuitous offensiveness. OK – we’re adults, we can take it, but life is a bit pleasanter without it!
all my stuff gets posted.
andy,
you claim I was banned a year ago.
a lie.
I said that I was leaving in disgust at brown’s premiership and that I would not return until brown had been deposed.
Guido never banned me, I left.
but the fucking useless tory bloggers were doing such a half assed job that I was forced to return prematurely to this place to ensure that brown’s head is chopped off.
honestly andy, you are just a lying c’unt.
if lying is what the enemy is having to resort to then I have already won, innit.
request to Guido: could you please confirm that I have never been banned from this place?
just to set the record straight.
Don’t hold yer breath.
Yeah, you’re the twat who said you could get Sky News for free on a Sky Box aren’t you?
Well yes, you can get it free on Freeview, the clue being in FREE…….and…..VIEW.
Headbangers are deleted.
From DC’s speech that Guido links to above
Britain now allows extradition to a range of countries without that country having to produce proper evidence that the person in question has committed a crime.
Does this mean that after the Iraq enquiry that the leader of Iraq could ask for the extradition of Bliar. I know we’d let him go anyway, but NuLiebour have made it legal to do so?
missed off the boll**ks
Does this mean that after the Iraq enquiry that the leader of Iraq could ask for the extradition of Bliar. I know we’d let him go anyway, but NuLiebour have made it legal to do so?
There was a Roman general who made a treaty with some enemy city state that the senate refused to accept. The general was dumped naked in front of the enemy gates.
Perhaps we should deposit Blair, Campbell and the rest of them in Basra and politely ask the Iraqis to deal with them.
Why is the sign in English? surely that oppresses Welsh-speaking MP’s and staff, and any others whose first language is not English. Also, what about those poor chaps who culturally find it no problem to leave their hands unwashed after ablutions? Really these signs are disgustingly racist icons of oppression!
That’s what the pictures are for. To ensure that even more people feel patronised.
I don’t think that will help the Welsh much.
Dunno, I’ve never read a picture in Welsh.
The suitably named J.H. Thomas, General Secretary of the National Union of Railwaymen entered the House of Commons as MP for Derby in 1910. On his first day at Westminster he asked F. E. Smith for directions to the Members’ latrines.
‘FE’ replied: “Follow the corridor, turn left, go down a flight of stairs. You’ll see a door marked ‘Gentlemen’, but don’t let that deter you.”
Will there be any new Labour MPs to give similar directions to in 2010?
Kerry McCarthy has written before on her blog that some MPs have got particularly disgusting toilet habits. I’ll try to dig it out.
Cocaine.
David Aaronovitch = cunt
How does she know?
On second thoughts, don’t answer that.
David Aaronovitch = cuňt
Good idea. Dave Aaronovitch is a hoon, minge, twat, vulva, vagina, pussy, front-bottom, cnut, girlbit. oh I give up
My first job was in a Bank and the first customers in were all the hookers paying in their half-crowns. The manager told me to remember to wash my hands before I went to the toilet. – true!
Banking has always been legalised money-laundering
Once ‘your’ money is in there, it’s their money, you are just a name on a list of creditors
I was always told that it was only Irishmen who washed their hands BEFORE peeing…
The definition of an engineer and a gentleman is someone who washes his hands before and after using the toilet.
One does a lot of things in life…
It is encouraging to find a precise engineer in our midst…
You spoke earlier today about having perfectly balanced balls…
One on the left…
And one on the right…
I think you should be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, Sir,…
Depends on wether you want a urinery infection or not.
My dick is always cleaner than my hands……
And before anyone else says it, clean you teeth first too……
Oi! I have a copyright on that sign
You missed a spot.
:-)
BBC have gone Green. Labour is fucked.
The King is dead. Long live the King!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/
BBC management expenses posted online:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/8118233.stm
Hmmm, loads of “Meetings with Union”, All night meeting with union” etc costing big sums of our cash
Is that “Union” as in “Workers Representatives” or “Union” as in “Conjugal Union” I wonder?
Sounds a bit like Ugandan discussions.
There was a story from the torygraph earlier, where a non-job was advertised at one hundred and nineteen grand but almost no-one applied because the description was written in such bollocks-speak and made no sense to anyon,e that no-one understood what it was about
Do you think you could slum it on a hundred and nineteen grand a year? Reckon I could probably just about manage it.
I’d never get the job of course. My body would go into spasm if exposed to that much bullsh*t.
I think that I must live in a parallel universe to the middle and top management in the BBC, Local Council and Parliament. I think that i’ve been leaving a nought off the end of my salary.
Oh, Silly me. I work in the private sector and not in the financial bit.
Courtesy of the Telegraph’s new troughing tool, I have worked out that Gordon Brown is a trougher par excellence.
PM receives £127,334 in addition to a salary of £60,277 as an MP.
Total Salary last Year: £187,611
Last Years Expenses: £134,586
GRAND TOTAL: £322,197
You can see why he might be reluctant to resign.
Resign!! I doubt he could spell it the dickwit
Ooooh Anne Main Con MP St Albans, under scrutiny for daughters flat too I see.
Tsk, tsk. BtW have they done staff and office expenses yet?
Put it into perspective; If a reletively decent business made 10% net profit it would need to work bloody hard to earn that sort of cash which would be taxable of course.
Wasn’t copying & pasting acres of other peoples text banned?
You must be a bit lovelorn if you are resorting to reciting Tudor poetry mate.
I recommend you check out Alexa.com, around number 47 in the top 50 when I last looked.
You’ll be in, er, good hands there mate.
Whats this got to do with having a shite and washing your hands?
Guido, I don’t know if you ecer read Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand? Someone post by that name so they will know what I’m talking about.
We seem to be nearing that time depicted in the book here in the UK. I would suggest a plot in the West say around Kiltimagh. Nice and empty and maybe declare we are writers.
Gordon’s latest lies articulated in the Times.
“I will not walk away from downing street he says”
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/politics/article6578602.ece
So that does mean we carry him out in a box then?
They will just wall him up in the basement. We get what we want and he gets what he wants, never to leave No. 10.
Perhaps they are that stupid they need things like that which is why they treat the rest of us as if we do too
http://up2.it/nhs/nhstits.png
Gordon buys two tickets to Mr M Jacksons O2 Gig.
Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough? Bad? Beat It?
Pleased now that I wasn’t one of those ebay idiots who paid 10 times the face value…
I’m pleased i wasn’t one of those idiots who paid face value.
Why have the BBC released the expenses of their executives today?
Has there been a campaign for public release with the timing coincidental to the Parliamentary expenses scandal?
Or is it something more sinister?
Another nosey arse with a FOI request i would surmise.
Did I hear the BBC Ten o’clock News Bulletin say that Labour MPs have already paid back £360,000 of dodgy expenses? If that figure is right it trumps Cameron’s £125,000 + £125,000.
If I heard correctly, then Gord has outgunned Dave.
Perhaps the £360k figure includes Dave’s £250k, in which case the Brown Broadcasting Corporation is up to its old tricks.
Can anyone explain?
guess that’s part of the £800,000 per annum that gordon is going to use our taxes to pay into his and his MP’s pension fund every year to plug their/his £51million black hole.
gordon have you considered paying your MP’s and yourself a lower pension???
I can explain, Labour stole far more in the first place so that £360k is proportionally far lower than the Tory £250k
Don’t forget there are many more Labour MPs (for now); approx 350 L : 190 C
Thieving MPs probably steal the toilet rolls, and then put in expenses claims for toilet paper. If it’s not nailed down MPs will steal it.
http://www2.politicalbetting.com has a new poll out.
Michael is best placed to emerge from recovery after his fiscal arrest that began in america.
Michael Jacksons died. bloody hell.
Crikey, a whole generation of children will now sleep safer in their beds….
Not forgetting a few monkeys!
Shagging kids is sick, Spaedo
And you’re a twat but most people her seem to polite to mention it!
My arse is still sore.
He kept telling me it was all the bananas.
shagging sick kids is worse
Really ???
Fuck me , you learn somethin interestin here evry day x .
E x .
or maybe not, bloody media.
OMG !!!
Ya had me goin . Anyway , he basically died after Bad d’aint he ???
That gnat is still playin it’s trumpet !!!
Later E x .
Nope Media now updated again, he has died according to law officials, they could not resuccitate him.
RIP Michael.
get ready for the funeral, grief and then the inevitable star studded Tribute concert, you know its gonna happen. Total chaos will ensue.
Did they try blowin bubbles for him ????
Boom-boom x .
E x .
Er….can i swap my O2 tickets for the tribute gig?
Deffo dead but that’s the Beeb sayin it .
RIP E x .
LOL !!!
DEAD but the situation is very grim ????
No kiddin x .
E x .
I forgot where i was when i heard the news
Damn, life just won’t be the same without Michael Jackson jokes.
Did he meet Jonah while he was over rehearsing for the O2?
He made a great butler but I hope they don’t show any reruns of Upstairs Downstairs.
Sky saying Michael Jackson has died.
Fuck! I’ve been stiffed again!
I’d prefer:
Don’t
Take
The
Piss
With
My
Money
Don’t stop till i get enough
From neverland,to on the never neverland.
dead?
TEE HEE I’M DEAD MOTHERFUCKERS SHAMONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE CHECK MY BAD CORPSE OUT. TEE HEE I’M OUTTA HERE.
Cowell has suggested that Michael could take a mentoring role the new series of The X Factor in return for Diversity performing at his sell-out dates at the O2 arena in London.
A show source claimed: “It’s all down to Michael now. If a deal can be struck, then we’re in business.”
Diversity recently revealed that they have been invited to meet the Prime Minister at No 10 Downing Street.
http://entertainment.stv.tv/tv/101829-michael-jackson-to-be-x-factor-guest-mentor/
A good day to bury bad news…
Ha ha, mate. Just the comeback tour to look forward to then.
I’ll have that nose back if you don’t mind.
I can recycle that as Jordans new nipple
His music is (not was) exceptional.
Night!…….Bless!….
Night Nell x .
E x .
He is (not was) a child molesting talentless fuck.
He,Gary Glitter and Jonathan King can can form the combo from hell.
His dancing was exceptional…
His music and singing was crap…
I can guarantee that BBC News’s 8am bulletins tomorrow will begin with:
“Prime minister Gordon Brown has paid tribute to entertainer Michael Jackson, who died last night…”
Ha ha, son. Yeppers – they’ll be 20 minutes of Brown trying to do The Moonwalk to show he’s human after all.
Gordon is arranging to go on TVam to express his condolences to the nation as we speak.
Is Jarvis cocker doing the eulogy ?
Let’s hope so!
Cocker is on Question Time next week.
Hoons are still running the world.
Off the Wall was a corker of an album
Another story broken by a blog incidentally. The MSM are left in the wake…
David Miliband – “Never has one soared so high, but died so low”
WTF??
Well he is competing with Uri Geller and Joe Pesci for the definitive soundbite
Milibland is obviously way out of his depth with the foreign office brief
Or maybe he’s still in shock from his attempts at debate for the Iraq enquiry
I shouted abuse at Scargill at the Battle of Saltley Gate in about 1972. He was a Hoon then, and you are a Hoon now.
Let me guess, you are either a spotty Scotch schoolboy with a powerful wanking hand, or a Rab C Nesbitt type, scrounging on the dole on my money?
Come on, which is it, Jock?
I’ve got six cases of ‘Fair & Lovely’ skin lightening cream for sale.
Unexpected circumstances mean original customer no longer requires.
http://www.fairandlovely.in/
got any in orange?
Cyclops Jinx Alert
Brown visited Neverland on his last trip to the USA, shortly before asserting to the assembled Senate that the fiscal Ferris wheel would “spin for a thousand years”.
Earth Song – makes me think of him. (Gordon Brown) What have they done?
I was hoping right up ’till the end that he’d be all white like but news he wasn’t was too bad. His brother Donny will be devastated. Did he actuaally ever visit Liverpool btw?
Labour can print some more money to buy Jackson’s ‘Never-Never land’
Oh!…….’Er………! I guess they’ve already done it
Let’s see how much bad new can be buried tomorrow…
Jackson closed his Neverland back in 2006
Gordon started turning the UK into ‘Never Never land’ in 1996 – all Gordon now needs is a Homosexual Monkey and a bit of cosmetic………Oh!
The Jackson Four.
392 beat me to it, dou
Who are you calling black?
Did Mctwat wish Jackson all the best for his new tour.
Michael Jackson already elevated to the worlds greatest artist ever.
Artist or arsehole?
So fiddling with kids is ok by you?
He’s a fucking sick cúnt.
So fiddling with kids is ok by you?
He’s a fucking sick kunt. All the twats eulogising on Sky just now seem to have forgotten this too. Bastards.
So fiddling with kids is ok by you?
He’s a fucking sick kunt. All the twats eulogising on Sky just now seem to have forgotten this too. Bastards.
Can we start the conspiracy theories before the Americans this time?
I can remember exactly where i was when i heard the tragic news that the worlds greatest performer had passed away. He will be forever associated with his slippery walk and the fantasy theme park he created.
Tony Blair was my thriller
Uri Geller’s on Sky. Maybe he can grab a quick interview?
Hiya , again x .
Sad news but this might cheer ya up , honnies .
The immortal FZ :-
He’s white, Jim…”
Why don’t you like me?
Why don’t you like me?
Am I really that bad?
HE’S BAD, HE’S BAD
HE’S BAD, HE’S BAD
“I thing you’re a jerk! I’m moving from you!”
“Make me a sandwich.”
“I’m moving back to Venice.”
“I’ll be black.”
“He’s still white, Jim…”
I hate my mother
I hate my father
I hate my sister
And Germaine is a negro!
A NEGRO! A NEGRO!
A NEGRO! A NEGRO!
“I thought he looked good — what happened to you?”
“Please read this pamphlet.”
“I’m so BAD!”
You take the monkey, I’ll take the llama,
We’ll have a party: get me a Pepsi –
Michael is Janet, Janet is Michael –
I’m so confused now –
Who is Diana?
He’s oxygenated
His nose is deflated
And he thinks he looks good to you
And he thinks he looks good to you
Cheers Frank , honey xx .
I very rarely paste stuff but if it get’s one person interested …..
Na night E x .
Not sad news for me AT ALL.
So fiddling with kids is ok by you?
He’s a fucking sick kunt. All the twats eulogising on Sky just now seem to have forgotten this too. Bastards. That Uri Geller bloke is as deranged as the kiddy fiddler himself.
The Government suffered an embarrassing Commons defeat over plans for MPs to hold debates away from Westminster.
The Commons voted on a series of motions relating to when and where the committees should meet. Tory and Liberal Democrat MPs complained that the Government had scheduled some meetings during their parties’ annual conferences.
The defeat is largely symbolic, but serves to illustrate the Government’s growing difficulty in trying to control the Commons.
It is only the second direct defeat Labour has suffered under Gordon Brown. The first came in May when MPs voted against the Government’s treatment of Gurkha veterans.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/5639688/Government-suffers-embarrassing-Commons-defeat.html
Pete, can’t you see we are in mourning. A bit tasteless don’t you think!
Fox News reporting Internet died with Michael.
Its so, so, so sad!
Michael, “You are not alone”
Great Googlymoogly!
LOL !
E x .
Milliband is a total idiot.
Foreign Secretary David Miliband also marked Jackson’s death on Twitter, commenting: “Never has one soared so high and yet dived so low. RIP Michael.”
The man is in charge of foreign relations, he’s gonna start a war soon. The political survival skills of a wombat.
Miliband is a weirdo just like wacko.
“Maybe the most famous name on the face of earth”
Fox News
Sky news talking about Jackson and Madge:
“They were both 50. Madonna’s atill 50.”
I’m staying up!
still
She’s not dead as well is she, are they doing 2 for 1 or sommat.
No – she’s still 50. Orla Bejaysus will do a mood-lifting special next week:
‘Madonna at still 50.’
I remember him as a cute little kiddie on the Andy Williams show.
He was shit then.
David Cameron will repeal a raft of laws that have eroded civil liberties under plans for the first days of a Conservative government.
Mr Cameron attacked ID cards, blanket stop-and search powers, creeping extensions to the national DNA database, extradition abroad without evidence of wrongdoing and the erosion of the right to trial by jury.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1195374/Cameron-pledges-war-Big-Brother-state-opening-government-voters.html
——
That’s not the same as shelving ID cards permanently is it Dave?
That’s not the same as restricting the DNA database to the guilty is it Dave?
That’s not the same as a bill of rights or a written constitution is it Dave?
Think out of the box man. Imagine Britain has just been through a civil war, and offer us what we would expect: Full unambiguous and guaranteed rights as citizens of our own country.
Check the American constitution if you are still short of ideas.
Think big Dave, it’s a hallmark of all great politicians.
© Smart Weapon
© Smart Weapon
i really disliked princess Diana, i am now reminded…times 10
Full state funeral with Prince Philip in the cortege?
Princees Diana of Themyscira is still alive. You are thinking of Lady Diana, Princess of Wales.
RIP Michael Jordan
He was a wonderful and warm human being. Though his own life was often sadly touched by tragedy, he touched the lives of so many others – throughout the world – with joy and with comfort. How many times shall we remember him, in how many different ways, with the sick, the dying, with children, with the needy, when, with just a look or a gesture that spoke so much more than words, he would reveal to all of us the depth of his compassion and his humanity. How difficult things were for him from time to time, surely we can only guess at – but the people everywhere, not just here in Britain but everywhere, they kept faith with Michael Jackson, they liked him, they loved him, they regarded him as one of the people. He was the peoples paedo and thats how he will stay, how he will remain in our hearts and in our memories forever.
Typical Blair,sucking up to Americans instead of championing our home grown pop paedos like the excellent Mr Gary Glitter.
….. and may I just add to Wotsit’s wise words that it all started in America.
gordon brown phoned him this morning to wish him luck and tell him that all the revenue from his gigs would help our economy
next week see’s micheal jacksons final “box set”
Umm. I also phoned Farrah Fawcett and wished her well in her new movie.
…. pass the Anusol
I’m a bender.
Leave the bending to those of us designed to do it.
It was brill how he managed to combine his ‘King of Pop’ persona with running NATO’s military.
Uniform was a bit OTT though.
Yah. *Wince* That shade of green made his face look a bit pasty. *Lawrence minces off, stage right*
In LA, thats De Rigueur
Yawwwn – am I missing anything??
Benny an the vets ??
Hain !!!
candle in the ring?
I’m forever blowing Bubbles.
This news puts the fun in funeral…
You’re up late sonny. Don’t forget to clean your tooth before going to bed and keep your boxing gloves on all night.
Goodbye yellow prick nose
LMAO !
Thirded
ROFL.
Any redaction from Wacko Jacko Bin Straw yet?
For Fifty years he composed some of the classics of modern popular music.
With that amount of silicon in him,he should decompose for fifty million
Night
night
G’Day…
GOOD BYE !
enjoyed kelvin mckenzsie on question time , made a good defence of hester at RBS , and julia goldsworthy rocking chair was funny . pliad crym got there figures wrong but can anyone put a figure on how much it has cost to bail out the banks from the rock onwards ??? , how much has been paid back and how much has definitely gone the drain ?? be nice to have a concise and accurate account !!
This weeks quentin letts bit was funny , nice to insert additional ITN clip that first appeared on dale , i do wonder if mr bercow is another nokia thrower .
Caesars wife defence review :
all a bit pointless without naval decisions ,
brown been at the bong again in times interview , getting on with the job with renewed daily enthusiasm , even charles hardwidge didnt get a comment in everyone even one from europe calling him uselss and he should go . amazingly article has no figures , zilch , nothing,zip interview doesnt even ask him how much debts will cost !!!! eh . what is so funny is that he cant make any attcks on the tories until his figure add up . but then he goes on in slightly mad sort of way , in the comming months people will see the difference between us and the conservatives , thinks he may have saved up to 500,000 jobs .
CW paused at this point , if he has saved 500,000 jobs (which looks unlikely now corus have looked into the crystal ball) so unemployement by feb 2010 year would have been 3.7million and he expects the upturn to be quicker than other countries but the uk has the biggest debt , so that doesnt add up , he admits taxes wil rise (how will that help the recovery) . but then there is the new policy review “building britains future” is a clear xerox of “the plan”.
you will be able to text the police to find about crime hot spots !! what planet is he on , yeah right the police now report on crime , genius i would prefer it if the cops resourced catching them rather than texting us post event .
so whats going on u turn trying to escape explaining his ecnomic failings !!
the shear scale of the waste of money is enough for a BBc crimewatch series “weve had millions of phone calls for the E fit of the scotch accented fraudster and swindler some very interesting ones saying hes is known as Broon the Hoon , a former lecturer in endrogenous growth theory ”
to make the point the car scrappage sheme , just what % of cars brought under it have been made in the UK ??? its not stimualted the Uk economy how they said . let alone additional foreign aid grants over budget .
to ask chancellor if we are currently borrowing more than treasury forcasts for the month of may/june and when he expects it to return to forcasts.(i make it least 15bn over budget) .
as regrds michael jacksons early loss at 50, always like billy jean and thriller albums real disco classics , just a shame the rest of his life was a mess , however if it turns out most tickets for july uk concerts have been sold on and there is no refund , you might want to know more about his debt situation . RIP anyhow
Phew! You’ve just about got the lot in there girl!
the lover of the majcians assistant whispered to her !! traa laaa
Good Night darling, sleep well and if you are a good boy I’ll let you play with the grown ups again tomorrow. XXX
He’s too busy with his hand up your arse trying to keep that gob flapping
“Sunonmars says:
June 26, 2009 at 1:00 am
Milliband is a total idiot.
Foreign Secretary David Miliband also marked Jackson’s death on Twitter, commenting: “Never has one soared so high and yet dived so low. RIP Michael.”
The man is in charge of foreign relations, he’s gonna start a war soon. The political survival skills of a wombat.”
I agree – it’s a bit worrying. He can’t even have asked his officials for a view can he?
Totally inappropriate.
MJ was brilliant in combining dance and song and the creepy skin tone monitors here can’t take that away from him.
As for the rest, it’s the Wagner Question. Once you know enough about him does it spoil your enjoyment of the music? I think the honest answer is yes. He’s never going to be up there with the Beatles and earlier Motown acts.
SONOFABITCH!!! has the whole Fukkin world gone MAD???
The British Foreign Secretary “marking’ Jackos death on Twitter when the families of those poor men killed by the Taliban on Milliband’s watch still don’t have their bodies back!
That Milliband prick is a prize Fucking idiot and any despot out there worth his Onions can see him for what he is – A Boy trying to do a man’s job with a brain the size of a whelk
Fucking idiot – The British Foreign Secretary’s office has been defiled.
oh come now, don’t be too hard on hime, He’s 8 next birthday is our Millipede and he’s probably got all of Jacko’s records……
Latest Twitter from Millipede:
“Oh Michael, you have gone and left
The whole of humanity bereft,
We liked your music and your style,
It’s a shame you were a paedophile”
Perhaps Jacko had been grooming Miliband
Michael Jackson memorial tour – staring Uri Geller with his world famous child bending-over act.
Sony corporation: Michael Jackson will leave an indelible stain on our balance sheet.
Lisa Presley: I am so sad and confused with every emotion possible (That would include joy as well one would hope)
Fucking kiddy-fiddler
Though I think the Thriller Mark II video should have more realistic effects.
Wacko Jacko says Hi
Don’t blame it on the sunshine
Don’t blame it on the moonlight
Don’t blame it on the good times
Blame it on the system
ROFL!!!!
Aw shucks Michael, I’m gonna have t ‘come out a retirement and do ya a gig now
Off topic, but slotgob has sent Any Murray a signed photo of himself, so forget about Murray winning Wimbledon, the Hoon has done for him
What sort of conceited twat sends somebody a signed photo of themselves. A movie star maybe; not a snot-gobbling politician for fucks-sake!!! Who the fuck does this twat think he is??
PS Was he dressed as Widow Twankey?
So has bonkers Brown got the same germ phobia that wacko Jacko had? These new signs that team Brown are plastering Parliament with would suggest so.
Keep your eyes an ears open all day today as it’s a great day for burying bad news. I’m not sure those labour morons would stoop so low but you never know, so be vigilant today and let us all know when they slip out the bad news they don’t really want us to hear.
Oh yes they would stoop so low. They did it on 11th Sept 2001 and they will do it again on 26th June 2009
You said what I was thinking. Also keep an eye out for new laws…..
Exactly what I was thinking.
Now I suppose gordon is going to get sky and bbc reporters sitting in his office before he then picks up the phone to the Jackson family to talk about his grief over Michael’s death.
RIP Michael Jackson – you leave behind some beautiful music. All gordon willl leave us is debt.
Morning folks.
How disappointing to wake this morning and find Brown was still alive
Princess Diana of Themyscira is a woman. I wonder how you could ahve made that mistake?
[...] league as the "how to wash your hands when you’re in the House of Commons" guide highlighted by Guido recently. The toilets on a Pendolino have a hard enough time coping with toilet paper and… [...]
all the reciepts you lot keep ramming down the shitter !
these were everywhere at Bath University just after the swineflu outbreak… obviously with some additional vocab added
[...] do is just ridiculous. Indeed, most of the time it is useless advice as it states the obvious. Guido pointed out the new hand washing procedure posters that now litter toilets in Parliament and Tom [...]