June 16th, 2009

Candid Polly’s Contradictions

Polly has written an article on ‘candour’ today

Osborne’s plans will be set out “in due course”, he says, but watch out: “Some savings will only become apparent when we have the chance to look at the books in government.” So we won’t know until after an election – and that’s not honest. There is nothing hidden in government books. It’s all in the Treasury’s red book.

Got that?  When the Shadow Chancellor says he needs to have a look at the books once he is in government, he isn’t being honest because he need only look in the government’s openly published Treasury red book.  Polly has caught Osborne out!

A few paragraphs down she writes

The red book’s own predications are usually wrong.


N.B. Want to see Richard Littlejohn’s classic bitch-slap of Polly again? The video is here.


  1. 1
    Olly boy says:

    I hate Polly….


    • 20
      MrPeregrination says:

      How in the hell has the country got into this state?

      Most politicians are completely incompetent.

      A large number of journalists, especially the ones who ‘specialise’, are incompetent.

      The top level bank executives were beyond incmpetent.

      ….the list goes on. How do these people rise to the top of their professions and then stay there even though they prove themselves completely incompetent on nearly a daily basis?


      • 49
        Twizzle says:

        They lick arse – it’s the only way.


        • 66

          As private eye says,
          “there’s always time for one last drink for labour, in Polly’s last chance saloon”
          She has become less of a laughing stock now. Its difficult to point and laugh at people who are clearly mentally challenged. Now people feel sorry for her and ask if something can’t be done. Some sort of home?


      • 133
        Rt. Hon.Chuck D MP says:

        Because over the past 11 years our political system, our economy and our media industry have been hijacked by a clique of half-witted, grubby, cynical, power demented, shameless white collar criminals who, under a blanket of bullshit Socialist idealism, have been able to operate with impunitity.
        Labour have been the ringleaders in an unprecedented, all encompassing, almost imperceptible terrorist attack on us all that will shaft us for years to come.
        For years cohorts like Polly Toynbee have put up a smokescreen of phoney concern and tears for ‘the poor’ just to throw people off the obvious stench of their lies and corruption, crawling up the arse of the new establishment and maintaining her 6 figure salary. But we know all this.

        These days she smells of biscuits and suffers acute dementia so why doesn’t she go and nurse it in one her ‘humble’ Italian villas and let us sift through the twisted wreckage of our country in peace.


    • 111
      Thunderbox says:

      She really is a useless leftie parrot, working for the only newspaper that has to give away, free of charge, 20k copies to keep its print run respectable. Friend of the ‘Gravy’ Kinnocks with a bolt hole in Italy.


  2. 2
    resurgemus says:

    Being pressured like the chipmunk to come on message


  3. 3

    That the Red Book predictions are usually wrong isn’t the only problem. Even knowing the past is far from clear: the Treasury consistently refuses to submit itself to the same accounting standards that it demands of private companies.

    This another example of one rule for them and another for the rest of us mentality, as with MPs’ expenses.


    • 17
      Carnot says:

      Could not agree more. How much is hidden in PFI. I think Osbourne is right to be cautious because there are bound to be surprises. The trio of Brown , Balls and Darling have been cooking the books for years.

      As for Toynbee she is irrelevant.


      • 125
        Pork Scratching says:

        Anyone ever notice that she’s got a big fecking nose though, sniffs out labour creeps no doubt!


    • 73
      Agent 99 says:

      Not sure if this is on / off topic.

      As regards bookeeping etc has the EU accounts not been signed off for years as they are just so wrong and out of kilter no sane accountant would put his/her name to them.

      Is that why Kinockio and spawn have so much money and was he not designated to sort this out. Questions question zo many questions.

      Vote loony!


      • 114
        Dave S says:

        Neil Kinnock was appointed Vice-President of the European Commission in 1999 with special responsibility for administrative reform, in effect cleaning up sleaze and corruption.

        Marta Andreasen the EU’s Chief Accountant was suspended in 2001 by Neil Kinnock, after she refused to sign off the EU’s accounts when she raised concerns about possible fraud in the EU accounts and that 95% of EU expenditure was not properly accounted for, she was subsequently sacked by Kinnock.

        Good to know Neil was earning his millions looking after our interests.


      • 119
        Golden Days says:

        The nation HAS voted loony three times in a row!


  4. 4
    Mary Hinge says:

    O/T but Brown has urged the Iranian government “to listen to the people”.
    Dare I suggest that he tries a little of that himself and calls a BLOODY ELECTION!!!!!?


    • 74
      Agent 99 says:

      You just have to be fucking kidding!!!!!!


    • 135













  5. 5
    The Wasp says:

    Polly’s days are numbered. Once Labour are obliterated, she’ll be at the job centre writing up personal ads for a living.

    The once great sycophant of Gordon doesn’t know wether she’s coming or going.


    • 24
      Tommy Cooper says:

      Would that make her a polygon?


      • 38
        Cato Street Conspirator says:

        Toynbee will soon be spending more time at her villa writing her memoirs and submitting the occasional piece for the Guardian about what she had for lunch and the funny thing Maria the servant said the other day.


        • 70
          Quasimodo says:

          And still be paid a fortune, like her editor . . .


        • 75
          Dicky BigFred says:

          as a friend once remarked

          “she’s sitting on a goldmine”
          Well in truth he didn’t actually have Polytwaddle Twatbee in mind of course but still…

          retch ….reaches for mind bleach


        • 128
          Captain Bob says:

          She is defecating a goldmine. All she has to do is put her “human digestive system waste product” on paper and the Gruaniad pays her for the column.


    • 130
      Archie says:

      Coming? COMING?? You don’t mean to say that some unfortunate male pokes that?


  6. 6
    Lord Privy Toastrack says:

    Stupid bitch, taking lessons from Ed balls no doubt.


    • 56
      Hamish Macbeth says:

      The more a read about this Tolly Ponybee woman – the more I realise she is stealing a living by writing utter contradictory trash about subjects she has little real knowledge about.
      Private Eye did an excellent article about the number of times over the past 18 months she has said…”this is Labours last chance”… This showed how laughable her worthless opinions really are.
      Opinions are like &rseholes – someone once wrote. Everyone has one and they are usually full of shit. Toynbee is a shining example of this


  7. 7
    The Wasp says:

    Please get rid of that video of Piers Morgan. Honestly, it’s making me feel ill.


  8. 8
    Ratsniffer says:

    Polly has her head in the airy fairy world of NuLabour clouds. If she wants dishonest, look no further than NuLabour, more than a decade of spin, lies and deciet. And now an Iraq inquiry which will be in secret, won’t blame anyone and won’t report until well after the next election….Nulabour, old lies.


  9. 10
    RavingMad says:


    Trolley Off

    Brolly Hit

    Jolly Good

    Holly Christmas


  10. 11

    Labour believes everyone is of equal worth and entitled to respect. Our vision is of an equal, inclusive society where there is opportunity for every citizen regardless of gender, disability, sexual orientation, age, race, religion or belief. Labour is the party of equality. From challenging disability discrimination, to tackling the pay gap and racism and introducing the Human Rights Act, Labour has been at the forefront of change. We have done more than any government in history to support opportunity for all. We should be proud of our record, but we recognise that there is more to do to attack prejudice and ensure that every one of our citizens is treated equally.


    • 16
      Ratsniffer says:

      Charles for goodness sakes, you are a perfect example of why the victorians used to try to stop boys from wanking…it addles your brain. Even as a parody you’re getting tedious. You need to take up a hobby, have plenty of cold showers and above all sleep with your hands tied behind your back.


    • 18
      Sukhpreet Hothi says:

      Two words: Damian McBride

      Your glorious leader gives a great example.


    • 19
      Lt General Sir Barbour-Jacket KFS RAC MOT says:

      Is this for real or another spoof?

      Either way it is hilarious.


      • 78
        Agent 99 says:

        its a spoof as no sane person could ever believe such stuff… err well unless maybe you are Charlie E Dickwedge of course.


    • 22
      resurgemus says:


      does equality mean we are all going to the house of Lord’s ? One day perhaps you too, will be ennobled, and the Hardwidge family motto:

      ” Podex sed maximus ” ( An arsehole but a really big one )

      will be understood for the truth it contains.


    • 26
      Ivor the Boneless says:

      What a load of crap, no sane individual thinks that way! One of the many things ‘call me Dave’ can do on assuming office is to set MPs to work undoing 12 disastrous years of ZanuLab legislation and while he is at it shutting down all but a handful of essential Quangos.


    • 40
      Adrian Prole says:

      Would this “prejudice” include the 700hrs in the HoC spent pushing through the hunting ban on the trumped up excuse of animal welfare and when made law, Labour MPs said it was payback time for what Thatcher did to the miners?

      Another lie: the miners know it was Scargill who wrecked the mining industry – ask Neil Kinnock.


      • 82
        Fish and chips salt n'vinegar says:

        In the same argument fishing with rod and line should be banned as thats cruel to fish. Ahhh… but of course thats the working mans (Labour) sport so of course no mention of that.

        Tells you all you need to know about these total socialist hoons.

        Personally I couldn’t give a ‘fishes tit’ but balance is required in the ‘net of public opnion’


    • 44
      Osama the Nazarene says:

      I see Mr Hardwig is having an off day today and is spouting some new fangled philosophy totally off topic. Maybe Mr Hardwig is part of NuLiebor’s automated propaganda machine?

      The post was about the idiocy or more likely hypocrisy of Polly, don’t you know.


      • 84
        Laboured Computer server says:

        This is an automated response. Please do not respond to this message

        £&& Getting on with the job£$%!£^”%&£ What people want me to do$^%&”$*%&$ unlike the do zero party opposite (fault 404-failure in attached protocol insert password = obama beach ) append and report to supplier
        system shut down….

        do you wish to end it all now?

        yes please / no thanks


    • 52
      Constantine says:

      Charles my dear boy what is the difference between the struggle of the people of Iran against the theocracy that oppresses their society and the struggle of ordinary people to throw of the yolk of the new liebour theocracy in our own country. You are of the same mindest as any mullah, blinkered, obtuse and quite honestly ridiculous.


    • 60
      Groucho says:

      “We have done more than any government in history to support opportunity for all”

      I can state without a shadow of doubt that this is utter bollocks.

      You SAY that you support opportunity, but that’s not quite the same thing as ACTUALLY supporting opportunity. After grabbing the headlines, the reality is that the money is absorbed by layer upon layer of QUANGO and Enterprise Agency.

      The square root of f*ck all actually makes it through to where it counts.

      Stop perpetuating Brown’s lies, you Hoon


    • 64
      Hugh Janus says:

      On the contrary Charles, NuLiebour always wants to drag everyone down to the lowest common denominator. Take a look at education and you will see what I mean.


    • 126
      A Lecturer says:

      The quickest way to “solve” the pay gap is to do the sums properly but I doubt the most corrupt part of academia will “competence” itself out of existance


    • 137
      Bob the Squaddie says:

      Why don’t you just fuck off and die you trecherous little creep! You and the rest of the feminazis and new man nonces that make up Zanulabour should be tried for treason and executed. I cannot believe that I might have to fight and die just to protect your miserable hide. You are scum and you know you are!!!!


  11. 12
    Penfold says:

    Polly doesn’t know her arse from her elbow.
    She’s been wallowing away for weeks, now castigating Gordo and demanding his ballocks on a platter, demanding Labour revert to true Red and now she’s back to her usual bleeding, bleating, leftie supporting role, of attempting to muddy the waters and provide succour and support to NuLab, or what passes for it now.
    A plague on her ship and all who sail in it.


    • 30
      Cigar Smoking Man says:

      Your metaphor is far closer to the truth than perhaps you imagine.

      Polly’s ‘candour’ means wearing her heart on her sleeve, supposing that superficial ‘authenticity’ comprises its own self-evident indisputable veracity. The example she has set for Guardian readers for years has been “think with your heart, feel with your skin”. In that way, Polly typifies the modern “flight from reason”, aka the New Age. It is unclear what she conceives her readers’ heads are for – I infer it is to stop readers confusing their one end with the other, with potentially fatal results for circulation (the paper’s, not the readers’).


    • 108
      A Silent Emission of Bowel Gas says:

      This is a ludicrous statement, Penfold. Polly’s arse is bared several times a day and is at the rear of her body, whereas her elbow is at the side and usually remains under cover.

      Perhaps you are confusing her inability to tell solid excreta from common sense.


  12. 13
    Robert Mugabe says:

    Oi!! Polly – put the kettle on for the lads and while you are in the kitchen put the bins out.


  13. 15
    President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad says:

    Alsalaam a’alaykum

    Whilst Iran is ‘to hold election recount’, the UK will not even hold an election so I ask all my Brothers in the UK, which country has the true democracy?.

    Shukran and have a nice day


    • 21
      Sukhpreet Hothi says:

      So true. I think when we moan about Saudi Arabia having no democracy, do we actually want them to have it? It would be chaos.


    • 57
      The Bellman says:

      The pictures of Iranian police beating opposition protesters, which M Aaronovitch discusses at length in today’s *Times*, look eerily similar to the Nottinghamshire constabulary special geriatric tasering unit.


  14. 23
    Albert M. Bankment says:

    The Red Book does not give a complete picture.

    Remember the story of when Brown got his feet under the table at the Treasury in May 1997, succeeding Kenneth Clarke. A senior civil servant came to talk him through the economy and proudly present him with the real numbers.

    “So, Chancellor, the figures really are fantastically good. The economy is much better than predicted.”

    “What do you expect me to do; send him a fucking “thank you” letter?”


    • 25
      Ratsniffer says:

      Broon, ever the sulky, brooding, petulant oaf, could not stand confirmation of a typical pattern: labour inherits a healthy economy, and within a few years of crazy spending, ruins it. It happens time and time again and the public never learn.


    • 42
      Trough Mixture says:

      Red Book,

      Green Book,

      Hardwidge Pox.


    • 45
      Anonymous says:

      Is that an attributable quotation? What is the source?


      • 62
        Albert M. Bankment says:

        Well, it’s just a ‘story’. Ruth Lea has certainly quoted it, without the ‘fucking’, more than once. And here it is again:


        I think it was quoted (in full) in the Tom Bower biography of Brown, but my copy has not been returned by its borrower so I can’t verify that. If, however, you’re prepared to accept Guido as having some authority, there is this from 6 January 2008:

        Brown still clings to his supposed economic competence, although polls post Northern Rock’s collapse show that he has, after 15 years, lost Labour’s advantage over the Tories on this issue. As the economy slows the imbalances in the economy will become clear to see. Vince Cable and George Osborne need to ensure that the man responsible for those imbalances takes the blame. In good times a prudent finance minister pays down the national debt. Ken Clarke left Gordon Brown an economy in fine fettle, so much so that when Treasury mandarins breathlessly briefed the incoming Gordon Brown on the admirable state of the government’s finances in 1997 the charmless Chancellor retorted, “What do we want me to do, write them a f***ing thank you letter?”


    • 72
      Allan@Aberdeen says:

      Brown taking over at the Treasury from Ken Clarke was like Lord Simpson taking over GEC from Arnold Weinstock. Whatever happened to GEC?


  15. 27
    Happy to be in NZ says:

    That Polly woman must be the most annoying woman on the planet – does she actually think we should take her seriously? She even makes that Blears woman seem modest.


  16. 28


    Simon Lewis ex Buck House and Vodaphone to become Gordon Brown’s official spokesperson. Vodaphone is important in the house of Flying Nokias . This would appear to be a short term appointment ….. unless he knows better.


  17. 34
    Anonymous says:

    Could the “10% Spending Cuts” spin-initiative be Labour’s last chance?


    • 94
      Agent 99 says:

      doubt it

      the 10% are labour figures but the Proles don’t quite yet understand that as they warm to that nice ‘Harrier jump jet’ person.. you know oo…. I mean err …oh.. you know! the one that looks like a stunted Giraffe on the telly.


  18. 36

    And what about her role in the failed coup. I am surprised you have not picked up on that.


  19. 39
    DisgustedOfMitcham2 says:

    Well, Polly is undeniably a twat, but having watched the video, there’s no doubt in my mind that Richard Littlejohn is an even bigger twat.


  20. 41
    Vote vote vote for Jacqui says:

    Guido.you are as bad as McMental.

    He don’t listen to the voters,you don’t listen to the bloggers.

    For fucks sake get rid of that video obscenity.


  21. 47
    The internet is as vital as water and gas says:

    So says the Right Honourable Prime Minister in today’s Times.

    Further evidence that our PM is complete and utter raving lunatic.


    • 48
      Tax you to hell says:

      Internet tax is coming


    • 54
      The Right Honourable Prime Idiot says:

      “a fast internet connection is now seen by most of the public as an essential service, as indispensable as electricity, gas and water”.

      Without electricty the internet doesn’t function you twat.

      Without water we die you twat

      Without gas many old people would freeze to death you twat.

      You really are the biggest twat of all time you twat


      • 67
        Ratsniffer says:

        Without internet porn the chavs will riot….


        • 98
          The Wasp says:

          Without the internet where would all the produce of Labour’s education system post their happy slapping videos?


      • 101
        Lamb D. Shanks says:

        Hey The Right Honourable Prime Idiot I get my mother in law to run round a hamster wheel every sunday to charge the batteries for my internet.

        Yeah I know its a twats trick I always promise her sunday roast of course.


  22. 53
    It's all Balls says:

    Polly has not caught Osborne out. Only if you belive that the red book is factual and not the greatest work of fiction since the Beano Annual 1958 (one of my favourites) can that be said.

    You don’t need to read it all – just get to the exciting bit with the borrowing forecasts in.

    If you believe the red book numbers send me an email – I have some interesting and extremely valuable works of art in my loft I am compelled to part with and you sir, are the lucky man.


  23. 63
    Richard says:

    I looked at the Committee website here:


    Many comments are interesting.

    However, I am amazed what a careless and sloppy job has been done in scanning the various letters into .pdf files. Most of the pages are inclined at angles, making them hard to read. To my mind, this shows that whoever was responsible for managing the placement of these letters on the website does not really care about making them easy for the public to read.


  24. 65
    mad fred 2 para (retired) says:

    Is she still in gainful employment?

    Fcuk me – if the Guardian had to survive as a proper business she would be the first of the dead wood to be cut away.

    How can a De Bretts listed leftist hypocritical member of the aristocracy be so wrong on so many issues & still draw down a wage?

    If it wasn’t for the Labour Government slush fund pushing advertising monery to the Guardian it would be bankrupt fiscally as well as politically & morally.

    Polly – you are a joke & please keep up your great work for the left wing.


    • 87
      backwoodsman says:

      “How can…& still draw down a wage”
      Well Fred, its easy. As long as the little people pick up the tab for all those 5 a day diversity co-ordinators that the public sector advertises for in the guardian, the jobs a good ‘un.
      As a small business owner, do I think I could save 90% of the cost of advertising public sector jobs, and shut polly up, hell yes.


      • 90
        Steve Expat says:

        And fingers crossed, when the Tories come in and take the knife to public spending, the Grauniad’s famous adverts could be a thing of the past – and with it a substantial portion of where Polly’s wages come from.

        Am I asking too much?


        • 100
          The Wasp says:

          If you get rid of the Guardian the BBC will have to find somewhere new to advertise for politically-unbiased lefties!


      • 103
        Agent 99 says:

        I have a minimum of one pint of cider every day can I consider that to be one one of my 5 a’day?


  25. 68
    Mrs Trellis says:

    ‘bye then


  26. 71
    Thats News says:

    Yes. This is a great find, this example of Pollytwaddle…


  27. 81
    RobC says:

    Poly twaddle doodles all the day?


  28. 104
    Henry Crun says:

    It’s not what is in the Red Book that Osbourne is worried about. It’s what isn’t in there – all the off-balance sheet stuff that Gordon has been squirreling away for the past 12 years.


  29. 105
    Lucre Filthy says:

    Oh for goodness sake, isn’t it time she retired and put the kettle on?


  30. 106
    The Wasp says:

    And to think Polly used to work at the BBC as their Health and Social Affairs correspondent….


  31. 112
    JB says:

    Polly doesn’t believe a word she writes, she’s just tribalist in the most blinkered, ignorant way possible. She’s so far removed socially and economically from the people she professes to care about that she can only see politics as a football game rather than a process that affects the lives of millions of people. Her team is, and always will be Labour, no matter how damaging and inept they become or how far down in the leagues they sink. I hope the public dump her smug pontificating self-righteous rag (excluding the awesome Marina Hyde who should be made PM) before they dump her though.


  32. 116
    John Prescott's skidmarked pants says:

    Does anyone ever take this stupid fat vile ugly pig faced old dyke seriously? She spouts more shite than Prescott’s arse and I have the stains to prove it.


  33. 118
    John Prescott's skidmarked pants says:

    Here is what the fat dyke wrote a couple of months back.

    “…The full horror of what is to come is laid out in the budget red book. The chancellor ended with talk of a “confident and successful Britain”, but the numbers tell another story. By 2011 cuts will be savage, with spending forecast to grow by 0.7% instead of the 1.1% predicted last year, and capital spending halved. These will be harsher cuts than any in living memory – yes, worse even than in the Thatcher 1980s. Only schools, the NHS and overseas aid are to be spared, while everything else will be plunged into darkness. It hardly bears thinking about what these numbers will do to the old and disabled, children in care, children’s centres or prisons…”

    So lets be honest Polly your beloved LABOUR are dishing out the savage cuts. Where the fuck do you think money comes from? Perhaps you could go on the game Polly and earn a few extra quid, er well pence in your case to help pay for it all? Perhaps the Guardian might like to cough up its fair share of tax as well?


  34. 122
    I'd can did Polly's contractions says:



  35. 123
    Lola says:

    Polly is an epic fuckwit. End of.


  36. 132
    Sterence says:

    Not to mention that fact that nobody in Govt allegedly knows the full extent of PFI deals. Perhaps Polly could say what\’s open about that.


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