Lord Mandelson of Foy in the county of Herefordshire and Hartlepool in the county of Durham, first secretary of state, secretary of state for business, innovation and skills and Lord President of the Council, yesterday granted the Queen an audience.
Guido was told this in advance, but sworn to secrecy, by a member of her majesty’s parliamentary Lobby. Why was it embargoed?
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Lord Lamont told ITV News…
“I think the PM is just human and Ed Balls is a pretty irritating person”
Maybe she has asked him to form a government and become PM
Frankly, it would be an improvement.
Probably wants to meet our real leader in all but name and see what he’s up to no biggie. When Clegg and Cameron are called in theres a story…
Mandy meets Liz, two queens together then.
Could be a ‘wind up’ – leak ‘secret’ info to Guido knowing full well he’d publish it online. Mandleson ‘bigging’ himself up ???
“Lord Mandelson of Foy in the county of Herefordshire and Hartlepool in the county of Durham, first secretary of state, secretary of state for business, innovation and skills and Lord President of the Council”.
She probably just wanted to meet the man who will shortly have as many title as Gadafi.
Her Maj wanted to know if gordon brown was fucking mental or not.
the rimmer lied to the Queen.
off with his head!
note to peter mandelson: you are a fucking traitor peter.
you know what happens to traitors, don’t you?
that’s right.
just like saddam.
if you are ever found guilty of war crimes I swear to God, I’d fucking do it, I’d pull the lever.
you fucking satanist motherfucker, you are now top of the list, well done!
and when the gallows are built and the judgment is made and the guilty are dropped, oh how the crowds will laugh and cheer and clap their hands in joy!
oh happy day!
but not for you c’unt.
Regular readers may well recall Stanislav’s memorable post on here about Wee Mad Jock McBroon:
And everything’s f***ed. The schools are f***ed, the hospitals are f***ed, the army’s f***ed the navy’s f***ed, the airforce is f***ed, the farms are f***ed, the jails are f***ed, the banks are f***ed, the BBC is f***ed, the roads are f***ed; morality and decency and civility are f***ed; patriotism is f***ed, freedom is f***ed. And at the top of this mountain of f***ery sits a great, gibbering nancy, stuttering about his f***ing vaah-lewes, pretending to be a heterosexual.
I agree, but even admitting that makes me sad.
And, like the Highlander, There Can Be Only One Queen.
And she is called Elizabeth. She should cut all of their heads off.
Lord president of what Council?
Foy of Hartlepool
Lord Fondlebum of Boys?
All of them.
More likely that she realised the state of the Government is so bad, and the people so angry at what has happened recently that the questions were asked – When are you going to call an election? Is Gordon Brown as deranged as he comes across?
After all, he was recently observed by HRH Prince Charles during the D-Day celebrations – and Prince Charles would’ve noted the booing.
Let’s not forget – the Queen was snubbed for the D-Day celebrations as well!
She’s recognised on the global stage as the worlds No 1 Diplomat. So she’s canny, Mandelson would’ve met his match, and she’ll have noted the recent attack on Brown by Mandelson.
All in all, we’re now more likely to be facing that much awaited election than last Wednesday.
Ooops, I forgot to mention – she’s also head of State, and wont be impressed that her name is being used to bring in a cabinet of 7 Lords, including the creation of 2 Lords deliberately for the cabinet.
This could be interesting – if she’s denounced the 2 new Lords, Kinnock mostly in my mind – Mandelson could denounce her and cause a constitutional crisis.
There’s also the possibility that she’s forcing the re-election of parliament, again it’s her perogative, and if Mandelson argues – it could lead to a constitutional crisis.
Either constitutional crisis and it’s Labour vs The Queen.
I’d just love to find out she’s told Mandy – ‘Fuck off or I’ll have you shot!’
Ha! Ha! – what’s he going to say? You and what army?!
That’s the final point, HM The Queen is Head of the Army. As such, she could use military force – there’s no constitutional crisis about her use of the army, against the government…. Has it come to that?
In a word, no
Pity!
I’m just hoping – probably she’s having Mandelson made a caretaker PM until the General Election is called.
she’s a figurehead, pulls in the tourists, pleases forelock tugging grovelers
credit where it’s due though, the Queen would never be stupid enough to wade into party politics
so she is at least smart enough to recognise that exercising any sort of partisan political pressure or influence would end her
something that doesn’t seem to have sunk in everywhere it seems
the Queen and Maggie did not get on, to say the least, but you did not see Liz going to the papers or calling in Kinnock to bend his ear about her
she does like to keep in touch with current events and has many advisors on all manner of subjects which is a far cry from exercising any power
the privy councellors also usually keep her in the loop every month
however the idea that Mandy is going behind Gordon’s back is laughable
most meetings with the Queen do not get a blaze of publicity which is how she and others want it
the military defend the realm and not a bunch of troughing crooks led by a mental person and a faggot !
I thought the D Day vets might have done us a favour while they had him in their sights
Doesn’t matter what’s constitutional or not. I reckon I’ve a good idea where the armed forces (serving and retired) loyalties lay. If HM requested their aid you’d have a hard job stopping them.
Watching the trooping of the colour today, I did wonder what would have happened if she’d called the colonel over and asked him to have the guards take GB to the tower, or just bayonet him then and there…
You’d think he’d feel pretty uncomfortable with all those soldiers just round the corner from his house.
The police also swear an oath of loyalty to the Monarch and a few of them are constantly at Brown’s side with guns ! (The cells are this way Prime Minister)
“She’s recognised on the global stage as the worlds No 1 Diplomat. ”
You are joking, surely?
No, just giving credit where credit is due.
If you substitute “diplomat” for “The Queen is the number one New Labour sycophant” then you’d be right.
It’s quite true – well documented.
Anon
I travel the world daily in my work and the one thing that constantly comes up more than any other subject by far is her Maj and how really great she is and what a wonderful advertisement for Britain. Trust me I am not joking its a fact like it or not.
The other common subject is Brown and how we ever managed to end up with a total dipstick like that. He ain’t loved out there anywhere and Iceland positively detest him and his government.
maybe he saw a chance to steal her job !
Just reminding her what happened to royal families like the Romanovs under a Soviet system………
Mandy Foy is of interest to Queens of various kinds. With regard to HRH, he is interesting for at least two reasons. First, since Rosalyn Higgins, HRH’s proxy at the World Court at The Hague, left office in February 2009 and had a large personal slush fund exposed, HRH has been short of leverage at the International Court of Justice. She needs his advice on how to proceed.
Second, because of his European connections with various Portuguese movers and shakers, including José Manuel Durão Barroso, Mandy Foy has inside stories about the Madeleine McCann abduction which the Queen is known to be interested in.
You mean HM and not HRH. And as for the rest of the posting . . .
You are right, Anonymous. I mean HM, not HRH. Brenda is not HRH any more. I’m out of date. HMQ is tempting also: Health Management Quarterly.
mindyourson has inside information on most male MEP’s
Yes, he has a keen interest in male members.
mandy foy loves randy boy !
Tinfoil hats on everybody!!
I’m nervous of breaking Guido’s rules but I was amongst the first co-conspiritors, so I wil risk this pertinent plug!
http://oldrightie.blogspot.com/2009/06/long-years-of-waiting-are-over-at-last.html
Queen meets Queen
Actually, he’s an awfully genteel and clever chap. After receiving homage and hearing Mummy’s petitions, he permitted me to talk with him as I polished his shoes. Evidently, he is an aficionado of fowling and keeps all sorts of birds in his aviary, peacocks, cockatiels, cockatoos, cuckoos, woodpeckers, quails, turkey vultures, whitethroats, buzzards, nuthatches, swallows, no tits though, claims they’re not to his taste.
He even invited me back to the Palace next Sunday night to examine his pecker.
Ooo-ER missus. Titter ye not. Nay nay nay. Thrice nay.
Frankie, where have you been all these years?
I saw your youtube video Frankie. Were you impersonating Gordon or was he impersonating you.
As the Queen Mother said, “There’s only room for one old queen in this palace”
She’s recognised on the global stage as the worlds No 1 Diplomat. ”
You are joking, surely?
Why would we be joking??? she has more experience and life skills than any monarch or leader in the 21st century.
Even the Saudi Royal Family turn to the infidel British Royal Family for advice.
Long may she reign !
Long may Peter rain!
I know for a fact that whenever important global decisions are made, especially ones involving real power brokers, there is inevitably a moment when we all have to reckon what the Queen of England thinks about it. No one in the world regards the Queen as an anachronism at all.
she must have been honored !
hope he wore his best frock !
‘Lord Mandelson of Foy in the County of Herefordshire and Hartlepool in the County of Durham, First Secretary of State, Secretary of State for Business, Innovation and Skills and Lord President of the Council’
Jeez… If you send Mandy a letter you’ll need a f**king large envelope just to write the address.
french letter?
Mandelson is now de facto deputy prime minister by the back stairs.
Mandelson was the only member of the Cabinet to attend HRH Prince Charles’ 50th birthday party in 1998. But he wasn’t invited to HRH’s 60th birthday party last year.
Apparently, while NI Secretary, Mandelson removed the word ‘Royal’ from the Royal Ulster Constabulary name of the police force of Northern Ireland.
HM probably wants to gauge when Mandelson is going to anoint himself King of Britain and Empress of Europe.
Mandelason is now de facto dictator!
You can forget Brown; he is history. This one is far more dangerous than his predecessor. This one is not a dimwit. Britain’s troubles have only just started.
Could Brown be having a breakdown! If so we could have Lord Manhandler as caretaker PM unroll a general election. Or the visit was just a routine courtesy visit. What ever it was the last thing we the public will have is the truth.
Is it because he has become Lord President of the Privy Seal?
No, Ashiata… It’s because she has finally decided her eccentric homeopathy and pastiche architecture enamoured son is too far gone in the head to take over from her when she takes that final trip on the gun-carriage. She’s going to make a rare ‘Royal Decree Extraordinary’, naming the observably competent, and soon to be ennobled, Prince Peter of Foy as her regal successor.
are you charles smallwidge bandy snatch ?
ah, right.
Aw, nice to see that Gordon Brown allowed the RAF to use his private jet in a flypast on The Queen’s birthday. If we were in the USA we would have been treated to a flypast of the very latest fighters and bombers that the USA has. Instead we get 1x VC10, 1x Gulfstream and a couple of ageing Tornados.
They could have just held a flypast using Met Police surveillance helipcopters – God knows they have enough of them flying over London at any one time.
Makes one cry, it really does.
Lord MFHHDfssssbisLPC! Is he still a socialist?
No, but he likes to think he has socialist tendencies.
As Lord President of The Council he is President of Her Majesty’s Privy Council and therefore is an advisor to HM. As he is newly appointed she would want to meet him if only to see if he could curtsy correctly.
That’s ironic, Queen meets Tsar Peter the Great!
Mam,
I’m Peter, Peter Mandelson but you can call me PM.
Did they take turns trying on the tiara?
Yeah looks like Mandy is meeting a King too-
From another thread on here:
”
523
Proff Julia King AKA “make me a dame before its too late” says:
June 13, 2009 at 12:17 am
Rumor has it that Mandy and McBrown will be making a “surprise” visit to Aston University on Tuesday at the invitation of Vice-Chancellor Julia King.
Julie was appointed low carbon tsar by Brown in 2007, got the post of VC in a dubious recruitment process the same year and has alledgedly set about tearing up the University rule book and converted the governing body into a Brownite-stlye bunker team (though she refuses to share the loo). Complete with Mandlesonian briefings that led to the “retirement” of the former Directors of both Finance and Human resouces with Flint-esque flip-flopping. Meanwhile, Julie’s own salary reaches above £250K- Not to mention the 2 cars, on-call driver and the no-expenses spared luxury appartment.
Apparently the thinking is the visit would help the government show the people of birmingham what a terrific job they are doing by visiting the city after the LDV cock up… and secure Julie a place in the lords before the tory’s take the reigns next year and confine her.
Hopefully though- the news wont get out to the irrate former employees of LDV before tuesday… and their wont be scenes of a brummy backlash . That way brown can snatch a decent headline in the second city and Julie gets a peerage: Bargain Jobs for British Troughers! ”
Never heard of her but apparently she’s the 4th most powerful in Brumminton and by the looks of it is about to become another non-elected advisor for eco-maddness…. and looks like a purebreed boxer:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julia_King
Which Queen?
Genau.
She prolly invited him round to talk lipstick and makeup.
Having said that, I don’t deny the man’s intelligence. Possibly she detests him like many others as a rather snide character, but cannot deal with Brown. She prolly wants to know wtf is going on in our country.
Guido will tell us more.
Queen takes Bishop. That would have been a story.
Two queens for the price of one real one.
Could be a good one..
Could it be? No wait! Not that…. Not tiny little strawberry leaves around a darling little coronet – a touching reward and tribute for his strange, whack devotion to you know who, and his exemplary secretarial skills.
Is Peter Mandelsnake our new Head of State now?
Where are those plane tickets?
I expect they were just plotting behind Gordon’s back.
Be afraid, McMentalist, be very afraid.
WTF? Mandy and Iain Dale plotting against Brownie?
Didn’t she call in Mervyn King from the Bank of England?
This is a crisis meeting – with the activities of the past week –
the HoC session on Wednesday about Dissolving itself –
Holyrood passed a vote for the HoC to Dissolve itself -
the Queen is aware of People’s opinion… and does occaissionally respond to it.
How to dissolve parliament as soon as possible without a constitutional crisis is the most likely answer.
Although I do love the idea – She told Mandy to dissolve Parliament before the next Queens Speech, or she’ll call in HER ARMY and shoot the lot of ‘em!
Pity she wouldn’t say these exact words > ‘Fuck off or One will have you shot!’
I suspect HMQ has a stack of letters on her desk asking her to get rid of this shabby shower of shit.
Ratsniffer: Judging by what one has heard over the years regarding the MO of HM, you might be on to something with regard to this one, innit?
if the queen told mandy to dissolve parliament ! i’d make her head of state !
Queen = Head of State
Prime Minister = Head of Government
went right over your head that one !
Wasn’t that a Noel Coward play? “Man of the People” or something?
Perhaps HM the Q just wanted to see her new head of government (i.e. Voldermort) in person.
The white queen meets the red queen?
OMG !!!
Two queens in the same place at the same time is an open invite to the fuckin Muslim shit to get their half-baked sodium chlorite WMD out , ain’t it ???
E x .
Madam. You’re not quite nicked yet but one more verbal from you and I might have to consult my manual of un-pc phrases. Over.
Madam. Well done for restraining yourself, madam. Na night. Over.
Ewanme is still the hottest blogger on Guidos website.
xxxxxxxxx
and you are still a clown.
ewanme,
I think you will find that it is actually the bn p who hold the record for storing the most explosives ever found in the country in a terraced house oop north.
those fucking crazy white supremacists, eh, always want to blow things up.
what’s that all about, eh?
do you think there is some kind of fault in white peoples genes?
should we genetically modify white people?
I thought that record was held by those muslim brothers who had 1/2 a ton of Ammonium Chlorate, or was it sodium chlorate, hidden in a lock-up
It was sodium chloride. The police were going to charge them with assault.
I agree with PC Filth. “Fuckin Muslim shit” in is clearly unacceptable.
It’s “Fucking Muslim shite”, Ewanme.
sir buffoon.
you are not welcome here.
you know where the door is.
no receipt no refund.
now fuck off.
Queen meets Queenie.
OMG !!!!
Hiya P.C. Dickhead , honey xx .
Suck on this , petal x .
Muslims are the stupidest , most hypofuckincritical , worthless , brain-dead , antagonistic , can’t actually see the wood for the trees , gotta pray to some meaninless Hunt 10 times a day , drink loads of alcohol when nobody is lookin an generally fuckin fuck my world up , hun x .
I should know : I’ve had enough vindaloos . Fuckin low-life scum . FACT .
Love E xx .
Truth hurts..
“but sworn to secrecy”
Well that’ll teach him.
Would this be Jimmy as in James Gordon Brown?
We need a photo, and a special Saturday caption competition.
The Queen has an obligation to consult and advise the person who can command a majority in the House of commons, usually this is the Prime Minister, appointed by her.
In meeting Lord Mangleson she is simply acknowledging reality but also giving Zombie Brown the greatest of snubs.
First of all, well done to Guido for being able to type straight at nearly 2am on Saturday morning!
Fingers crossed HM listened to Hague’s impassioned speech last week in favour of the dissolution of Parliament (or even Hannan’s rather amusing Dr Seuss reference) and realises that this Government’s time is now up. Did she suggest to Mandlebum that something needs to be done with our Dear Leader..?
PLEASE, CAN WE HAVE A GENERAL ELECTION SOON?
If you think of gordon as High Chancellor sutter in V and mangled rectum as Creedy it all makes sense.
Can we end it for the government like V did?
Please.
Pleeeease!
But can we be sure to lock all the hoons in first.
FONDLEBUM granted our Queen an audience ?
That means we’re really in the shit.
At least the nations economy is racing ahead superbly and those green shoots are appearing everywhere eh? Traktor production is at rekord levels and the dear leaders genius is paying off with the UK doing better than most nations blah blah etc etc!
Hmmmm, well only according to a newlabour stooge think tank staffed with McMentals lickspittles, you see dear reader, the truth no longer matters now as its only lies built on lies supported by lies!
Lies and more lies greased by dirty tricks and thats all newlabour has left, they are the end result of a corrupted and perverted ideology, they are the poison that is created when all democracys start to fail and die.
Brown the mental defective and Mandelson the evil scheming pervert, they go together like Bormann & Hitler and like them they will perform their perverted and age old dance of betrayal deceit! Things havent changed for thousands of years, the same old human tragedy played out over and over again.
We are “steering” the titanic by holding a magnet near the compass!
Did she set the dogs on him?
Q – You may sit
M – Thank you Ma’aam
Q – What has one to say to One?
M – Majesty, One is aware the nation is in disarray and One must know that
the cupboard is bare having been looted by the PM.
Q – What must One do?
M- One must abandon a dodgy currency and place Euros in One’s Bank
Q -One’s Visgae will surely disappear from the coin of the Realm?
M -Yes, Majesty, but One may be allowed a grace and favour dwelling and One
may keep a corgi or two.
Q – Is it THAT BAD?
M – Oh yes, Majesty, remember One has been aware of the Dark Forces for
a long time Majesty. We’ll it appears we (oops) sorry, they, have won,
game, set and match.
Q – Oh. What shall One do?
M – The same as One has done to protect the Realm since 1972 Ma’am.
Nothing at all.
mandy said listen you old trout ! i run the show now ,so its like this people are sick of seeing your old fizzer on our currency so ive decided to give it a new look as from monday(soon to be renamed mandy ) my hansome youthfull face will appear on the currency .take it or leave it you old boot . oh and by the way find somewhere else to live i’m moving in at the end of the month !
The queen’s head IS on the British Euro. They are already cast. See these pictures from a scoop earlier this year..
UK planning to join the Euro ?
I’m afraid you may have been tangoed, Mr Quango.
I’ve seen the real British Euro coins and they were nothing like these.
I was impressed to see faithful reliefs of Bomber Harris, Montgomery, Henry V, Wellington and Nelson among others.
cant see the krauts and the frogs agreeing to have our coins emblazened with great english icons all of whome kiced their fucking arses at some point in history ! shame they’re not around now !
Always check the date on the articles you read, you April Fool.
Point is who initiated this audience, HRM OR Mandy…….?
The Queen!
Which one?
Prince Edward. Surely you know.
What has the Queen done to deserve Mandlebottom?
what have any of us done ?
I am perplexed too – he should not be allowed within ten miles of Her Majesty,
however,as a democracy – short of shooting such a treacherous,calculating,manure
diviner – what to do ?
Please. This is quite important, Guido.
” ….(Mandy) yesterday granted the Queen an audience.”
Your words or your source’s….?
Lets load up the bore cannons Admiral.
pirates have hijacked our country !
When Labour called the election in 2001 the announcement from No 10 said that ‘the Queen had complied’ with the Prime Minister’s request for a dissolution.
‘Complied’.
Hmm.
Tells you what you need to know.
But, again, WHO’S wording?
If it was a quote from The Palace, Westminster, the Beeb or some hack it matters…….
What is Brenda up to?
Or has Guido been sold a pup?
The Penguin
Guido for f**k sake. Why are you adding to the f**king hype around the f**king waste of space. He is a f**king snake oil salesman. In simple marketing terms he has taken a brand with a loyal following and called in New. So f**king what!.
Not a f**king political genius. Just a f**king twat who wants you to think he is a f**king kingmaker when all the time he is just a f**king fraud.
And what do you do. Give him the f**king aura he f**king wants.
No free the f**king English….
I’d like to confess my crimes against Guido. I know the timing was wrong – and that hat that said “F*ck Mandy” was a gift from my partner.
Now keep that f**king rat Mandlebottom away from me
WS
Free the English
What are you on!?
can I have some
Fraud, Mandelson may be. Snake-oil salesman, for sure. And lots more particularly unpleasant things besides. And kingmaker? As far as Brown is concerned, how can it be doubted. Without Mandelson Brown would have been toast as recently as last week. And he knows it.
hoon
possibly a Birthday party .
I think not, something dark is a foot
Update
seems that Gord had gone to Tehran to study Electoral reform at first hand.
so the First Lord etc etc was just filling in
Really. How do you know that? Seems rather long to me. Half to 5/8ths of that would be more accurate surely?
What! Peter “elephant dick” Mandelson, as he was known to us at school?
Maybe the old Queen wanted complete privacy. And Her Majesty probably agreed as well.
She was tipping him the wink: if you want to win the next election keep your eye on how they do thinks in Iran.
“Oh and one more piece of advice..Clunk Click, know what I mean?”
She told him that Cromwell’s experiment obviously hasnt worked, and he has 6 months to vaporise HoC or we retake control by force.
This Council of which he believes himself to be Lord President. Is that the Privy Council (snigger)? Perhaps he sees the role as requiring the office-holder to wear a Gold Lamé cloak of power and magick with a tall hat and was seeking design approval for such items.
Come to think of it, he’d need her permission to be riding around on a white swan like the people of the Beltane as well
Mandelson is getting a bit of a porker – too much fudge?
Will these meetings take place weekly now as The Dark Prince Regent is PM in all but name?
Will the taxpayer have to pay for nappies for Gordon the first, as he spends his time rocking back and forth on his horse throwing Nokias at a picture of Blair?
Will HRH the Queen tell the Dark Prince Regent she is dissolving parliament to avoid a constitutional crisis brought about by an insane, unelected and unpopular PM who think he’s doing a great job as the ship of state sinks?
Yes, he really is playing the Prince Regent role.
For those who know their history better than I, what happened to the other Prince Regent?
Became King after his dad died.
The Penguin
He turned into George IV who, according to Wikipedia: “[was] remembered largely for his extravagant lifestyle that contributed to the fashions of the British Regency. By 1797 his weight had reached 17 stone 7 pounds and by 1824 his corset was made for a waist of 50 inches”.
Fondlebum’s got a few inches to go then, as ever.
I wonder what Prince Phil would make of Voldemort?
“Why does the fella walk that way? I’ll tell you why: too many nights spent below decks buffing the chief engineer’s prop shaft, that’s bluddy why”
somebody left a bit in !
Q: Tell one, Mr Mandleson, is Mr Brown the total fruit loop he appears to one?
M: Yes Ma’am.
Q: So what should one do about that?
M: [fill in something typically devious and self serving]
Two tricky by-elections coming up. Now if they were not needed because of a General Election, well, those seats Labour could lose would become far easier to keep in a context of a General Election, eh?
If this is what we fear it is, then “a good time to bury bad news” springs to mind. Our unelected alternative Prime Minister just sorting out when to call it…
Having recently researched a list of current Bildeberg group attendees. I find it interesting that whilst Mandleson and Ed Balls are Bildebergers, whilst Brown is NOT. Blair of course was.
Brown was doomed from the moment he took office and that is why Our Queen is now talking to Mandy not Brown.
Two Bildebergers visiting the palace and shaking hands with Prince Phillip…David Ike will be going balistic this morning.
NO NEED TO PANIC I TOLD YOU ALL THE LIZARD PEOPLE WHERE REAL I TOLD YOU ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.
Who’s queen?
Or perhaps delusions have really set in and Gordon sent ‘someone’ round (Mandy) to do the weekly audience as he’s too busy this week (or can’t be ars_d)…..
Oh come on !
There is no conpiracy theory,they merely swapped gags and one-liners about Gordon Brown
Rumour has it they were both pissing themselves with laughter and Lord Mandelson has been added to list of acts at the Royal Variety Show
Now that Danny LaRue is no longer with us, a vacancy has occured….
Now that the embago has been lifted here is the gag that Lord mandelson told Her Majesty
BNP Leader Nick Griffin was outraged by the egg throwing attack.
-
-
-
-
-
-
He said they should have sepatated the whites first!!
Boom boom (gets coat)
Bitch fight ! I got a tenner on the old queen
Define “old queen” please:-
Let’s face it anything has got to be better than having an audience with Brown…
Anyway a pair of Queens is a better hand than a Queen and a Joker.
I am sure David Icke has got a handle on it! And to think I used to think he was mad!
Of course he isn’t, Atlass Shrugged reassured me of the fact.
I hope she counted the silverware after he left.
Aren’t silver bullets 100% lethal to a Mandelson?
Where are the bloody carriage’s gilt hubcaps?
“Excuse me, could you please remove that candlestick and replace it on one’s mantlepiece.”
silverware was ok just a couple of bananas and a cucumber missing !
This whole honours system has fallen into disrepute.
Lord Mandlebum of Arsewipe. Lady Kinnock of Troughingem. Any old spiv with Labour Party connections can get a gong these days provided they are willing to ‘do a few favours’ for NuLab. We even have some ugly bloke called ‘Lord Adonis’ in the cabinet.
Yet still no Knighthood for Bruce Forsythe in the Birthday honours.
Bastards!
Not forgetting Lord Sugar of tacky electrical goods.
No K for brucie is petty NuLab spite and revenge for him alledgedy being a tory supporter…. NooLab is the real nasty party…never forget that….
just like any good communist state !
There is also a Knights of The Garter gathereing in Windsor Castle on Monday
Now thats interesting.Thatch probably won’t make it what with a broken arm and maybe having contracted c diff from Chelsea & Westminster hospital.
My straw poll of 150 random people conducted during the past week had 140 of the opinion that Mandy was the real power, the Gorgon mustered 10.
Ebonyface, how do you know the Garter Gang is meeting on Monday?
And where are the Knights of Malta meeting on Tuesday? Cyprus?
That’s the wee guy from the Bank of England, and Mandelson, who’ve been in to to see the Queen.
You can understand why she’s concerned about her Prime Minister, right enough.
Not forgetting the Chief of The Defence Staff…
The Penguin
There is no one with any balls in the whole of politics to do anything about this current situation. In effect, our Prime Minister is an unelected Lord and the other prime minister is an unelected prime minister.
Yet you all continue to put up with it.
We all continue
What do you suggest? No, seriously
Burning tyres? Big public demonstrations on Parliament Square – as with the Orange Revolution. Where is Call me Dave when you need him?
Obvious, really. Archbishops are appointed by the Queen.
What’s next?
I am not surprised at the Queen wanting to see the real leader of this rabble – she’s just making sure that her holiday plans dont conflict with the day when gordy pays a visit to ask for dissolution of govt.
But then again he’s just probably gone there to size up the curtains
or to offer the queen a certain ms blears as a replacement corgi
sizing up the queens curtains ! not a pretty thought !
If it’s a choice between tea with Gordon or tea with Mandy, it’s what Tony calls a no-brainer.
gordon would have to wear a bib to catch all the drool and snot !
Looking forward to all the dirt that will be dug up on Sid James’ ugly brother, Lord craterface Sugar.
I’m working on, er, improving Mandy’s Wiki profile. Before I got beavering away it was a generous biography: no mention of Prince of Darkness, and no reference to Mandy’s many lies.
Pls check the biog and add any ‘improvements’ you feel are necessary.
PS – only true stuff and include citations, follow Wiki’s rules etc.
An excellent and pretty thorough biography – we done! I think the nickname Goebbels should also be mentioned. It was Simon Heffer a few weeks ago who referred to him thus in a DT article. I’m trying to find it but can’t. I’ll keep on the case.
1) This Mandy character sounds important and powerful. Who’s side is he on and who voted for him? How many battleships has he?
2) “Lady” Kinnock!!!!!! Haven’t we suffered enough from that parasitic family of non-entities?
As a humble and conscientious student of the Tao, I follow its injunction, necessary for attainment of Zen-like tranquility, of obedience to masters. However, the Tao also teaches foresight and realism, and to that spirit may I say the Lord Mandelson is the best option for PM we have and he is getting on with the job of saving the world economy and creating jobs for hard-working British families as leader of Nu Labour and our national government, offering practical solutions to vexing quandaries unlike the recalcitrant and vapid aristocratic Tories…
irony may make you feel smug and complacement but it is too serious for such self indulgence. these undemocratic shysters have to go.
Charles,
I am currently playing your award-winning game “ Being Charles Hardwidge by Charles Hardwidge” I have now reached level 10 but there appear to be some problems:
1. why when the character “Peter” speaks, do his words come out of “Gordon” is this a software problem ?
2. the character “Yvette” appears to be both male and female at the same time; can you clarify?
3. “Charles’” Yorkshire Terrier Fellatio will not resond to the command “purple helmet ” when the manual says it should – should I add dog food ?
Perhaps other bloogers who have difficulties with “Being charles Hardwidge” could let us know of their expereinces.
Without bursting forth with animosity and ridicule, as such contravenes the ways of the peace-loving and serene Tao, your ignorance Regurgitatus is astonishing.
My video game can only be played, let alone mastered, by those initiated in the philosophy of Tao, itself a skill most readily acquired by subscribing to the Sussex University Trades Unionist, Nu Labour and Obscure, Unnatural Fetishists’ Monthly Gamers Periodical of which I am assisting errand boy to the sub-editor.
However, in godly magnanimity, I shall condescend to answer your questions.
1. “Peter” speaks from “Gordon’s” mouth as they share one mind, Gordon’s mind having been re-cultivated by Peter’s seed following multiple inundations.
2. “Yvette” is androgynous, much like me and my former lover Michael Foot.
3. The dog, despite it’s name, does not perform but receives the service alluded to.
Hope I’ve been of some help. May the Zen ever lighten your path in the night…
Charles,
thanks but you appear to have yet more flaws:
1. “Gordon” is merely a tool – on level 9 “Peter’”s pointed bone on the way down is meeting “Toenails” head on the way up, so what’s the point of Gordon ?
2. Another gamer has told me the answer to “Yvette” is to give ita razor and see what it shaves first.
3. A clever move – harks back to the Lord Fondlebum spit or swallow conundrum at Level 6.
Look forward to the Caroline Flint upgrade braZEN hussy.
Regurgitatus,
Lest I incite yet another vacuous and troublesome enquiry from you (understand, I am at present working in my laboratory on the next generation of Fidelity Graphics, “Cerebro-CryoSocialist Programming”), I will proceed to satisfy each question.
1. “Gordon” is there as a spectator not an agent. “Peter’s” dominatrix health-bar is invigorated by having someone at hand to watch, and “Toenail’s” submissive ganymede slave power is paradoxically increased not diminished as the degradation grows more acute.
2. “Yvette” will of course first shave her Balls.
3. Lord Fondlebum never swallows, if for a non-Nu Labour player, he stores it on the National Criminal DNA Database, if for a fellow-Socialist he secretes it on a stick in a phial, placing it in the fridge for congelation and a later meal.
Cheerio!
Charles,
that also explains why your helpdesk shares the same number as the Samaritans National Helpline
Resumamus, regurgitatus, reincarnantur, reactivabamus?
Whatever your name may be, my number is the same as the National Suicide Prevention Hotline, not the Samaritans…they sacked me as a volunteering coadjutor after I went all Sir Alan Sugar on some of the poor wretches who crawled in begging for mercy and compassion.
That show is wicked cool! May the Tao be with you.
Carolus podex Angliae
that’s so unfair !
think of all the NuLab MPs you could have helped out of this earthly world an onward to enlightment. Now only oblivion beckons.
When you get to level 14 you enter the Palace, I am working through the options but am using all my lives and so returning to level 1, but I am finding the repetition exceedingly tedious and will no longer be Charles Fuckwit
I was surprised to fleetingly glimpse Saruman in the Palace!!
resurgemus –in Level 3, when you have the option to privatise the Post Office, select “NO” and then you get unlimited lives. If you click on the troll in the red corner of the dungeon (the one with the donkey jacket), he morphs into Michael Foot and acts as your spirit guide. Also he deals with Fellatio for you, should your tastes not run that way.
Using these tips I have reached Level 19 and am just about to merge with the shining ocean of nothingness.
Hope this helps.
‘As a humble and conscientious student of the Tao..’ er would that be the Tao of Pooh Bear by any chance ?
According to the BBC, Mandy has just said this about who he’s willing to work for:
“I believe in leadership and in being decisive. Secondly, in listening to people and respecting official advice you receive. And thirdly, introducing a bit of humour and jollity to your work.
As Brown’s obviously not capable of any of those things, it was mandy’s way of saying “I’m just biding my time; this guy’s a wanker and we’re going to get him ejected in the most humiliating way possible. just be patient. it’ll be worth it. that’s why I took the job.”
Or as Lord Charles Hardwidge would explain….Mandleson and Brown are the Ying and Yan of Nu-Liebor.
Mandleson is all Yang – force of light – bright active,hot,expanding and strong
McBroon is all Yin – force of dark – dark,passive (negative) contracting
downward,cold and weak
Even simpler: Brown is Mandelson’s creature.
ooooooh too much G & T …….Or as Lord Charles would explain..Mandleson and Brown are the Yin and Yang…you get the drift.
Yang is the force of light
Yin is the force of dark.
Basically one wishes to know if Mr Brown is actually “Bonkers”
Yes.
Oh. Rather.
Send for Raj Persaud…I hear he’s back. Yet another attention -seeking know-all who appears to tell porkies.Wonder if he knows Dolly?
So, putting to one side the jokes about the Queen granting an audience to Her Majesty, this is all starting to look a bit interesting.
As is Mandelson’s apparent boost for the Euro. I say apparent as I believe his remarks on the Euro (made without the foreknowledge of Brown? Yeah… right!) were probably made with the full knowledge of Brown and are part of a deeper plot.
Mandelson’s boost for the Euro. Is it really a smoke and mirrors plot on behalf of the Gordon Brown Project?
Nice scoop, Guido. At one time, this story would have been ged directly to the ears of Ian Hislop. Now, you are the journalists preferred method of getting lobby stories out that their employer will not use. No wonder Hislop has a down on you!
What makes you think Europe would allow a banana republic to join the Euro?
Or rather that should be fed! Sorry!
Brown has had a breakdown. Which is why the cabinet cancelled the coup last week.
Mandelson has been put in charge by cabinet and he’s just bringing the Queen up to speed, while they all work out what to do with Brown.
….if only….
A real possibility! Maybe Manhandleson’s declaration on the Euro sent him over the hedge
Brown & Mandleson = Canesten Duo.
My GF has that for her downstairs lady parts.
I use it for my jock itch. My nether regions get stinky without it.
we need to use it on britains”jock itch” witch are already very stinky !
great for athlete’s foot, too
sort of royal Thrush then ..
irritating Hunt
….. only in reverse. The more you apply the medication, the itchier and scratchier you get.
I hope that Lizzie empty chaired him
I think he wanted to watch the soldiers.
I think he wants to play with the the soldiers
Young Brown, there’s no need to feel down.
I said, young brown, pick yourself off the ground.
I said, young brown, ’cause you’re in a new town
There’s no need to be unhappy.
Young Brown, there’s a place you can go.
I said, young brown, when you’re short on your dough.
You can stay there, and I’m sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time.
It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.
It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.
They have everything that you need to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys …
It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.
It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.
You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal
You can do whatever you feel …
Young Brown, are you listening to me?
I said, young brown, what do you want to be?
I said, young brown, you can make real your dreams.
But you’ve got to know this one thing!
No man does it all by himself.
I said, young brown, put your pride on the shelf,
And just go there, to the Y.M.C.A.
I’m sure they can help you today.
It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.
It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.
They have everything that you need to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys …
It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.
It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.
You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal,
You can do whatever you feel …
Young man, I was once in your shoes.
I said, I was down and out with the blues.
I felt no man cared if I were alive.
I felt the whole world was so jive …
That’s when someone came up to me,
And said, young man, take a walk up the street.
It’s a place there called the Y.M.C.A.
They can start you back on your way.
It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.
It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.
They have everything that you need to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys …
Y-M-C-A
then just go to the Y-M-C-A
young Brown, I was once in your shoes
young Brown, I said, I was down and out with the blues.
Y-M-C-A
YOUNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG BROWNNNNNNNN THERE’S NO NEED TO FROWNNNNNNNNNNNNN.
For some reason I am imagining Mandy dressed as Freddie Mercury singing this – it’s putting me off my breakfast
i cant believe someone knows the words to that !
tinternet, my friend. you can find the lyrics to pretty much any song.
can you find the words to mandy medlewithyourson’s anthem “OH FOR THE JOY OF A ROUND ARSED BOY ” ?
Queen : “My well-beloved and right trusty Lord Mandelson of Foy in the county of Herefordshire and Hartlepool in the county of Durham, first secretary of state, secretary of state for business, innovation and skills and Lord President of the Council, or may I simply call you Your Mandlesey ?”
Queen 2 : “You may – and you can get up off your knees now”
Queen : “I wonder if you would do me the honour of forming a government ?”
Queen 2 : “I already have done, although I’m not so sure how long it will last.”
Perhaps its to tell her he is now the Prime Minister as all in the Commons are involved in the recent expences scandal and he is the only one for the job.
He can explain how he will deal with PMQ’s. Perhaps by allowing MP’s to send 10 Email questions to him per week and then after careful consideration, from his newly furnished Downing Street Office he can make his weekly broadcast.Or perhaps due to the expenes scandal he can appoint someone as honest and uncorrupt ashimself to act from the Lords as leader of the opposition. Maybe Lord Archer
is she not fragrant ?
Apparently he went as Lord President of the Privy Council.
What titles this ‘man’ has got!!!!!!!!
This Govt reminds me more and more each day of Mug*be and his henchmen. Though which one, brown or mandy is M*gabe – I can’t make my mind up .
One is crazed by weakness and anger and the other crazed by power and manipulation. Two sides of the same coin.
All these title remind one of those banana republic presidents with an unfeasible amount of medals on their uniform. The more they have the more powerful they think they look. Everyone else thinks they look ridiculous.
Not only in banana republic, why the need for Prince Philip, Charles etc etc to wear row upon row of medals which they have never earned.
What would be wrong with wearing a particular uniform of which they are honorary commander in chief of, without any medal ribbons.
I am sure the honesty would be appreciated.
Price Philip at least earnt a few of his medals. Big-ears probably got a medal or two for wiping his own arse, only the one time that is.
Gaddaffi on his visit to the Mafia, for example.
The Penguin
is that because he spends most of his time hanging around public privy’s ?
Surely Kevin Maguire should be privy councellor
[...] all, if this is to be believed, the oily puppet master and Prince of Darkness is now pulling just about all of the strings in [...]
There is a scene in ‘The Madness of King George’ where the Groom of the Stool announces that His Majesty has produced “a fetid and stinking turd.”
It is difficult in the extreme to stop one’s imagination from following a course to mental imagery of His Lordship at that point.
As you may all be aware, you are all in the presence of an expert in the profession of video gaming.
Yes it is I Charles Hardwidge, after creating many highly acclaimed titles over the years and benchmarks within the industry such as the my most famously used term; ”graphics fidelty”
I have decided the best way to combat you Tory trolls is through the medium I am most recognised, respected and relaxed in, the medium of video games.
My Xbox live account is: CharlieHardwidgeIII
Through the use of my skills in the art of Tao and with my Zen like mastery of online gaming. I indeed look forward to chainsawing you Tory trolls in games such as Gears of War 2 and headshot kills in Call Of Duty 4 & Halo 3.
Charles
I am still playing your excellent game ” Being Charles Hardwidge by Charles Hardwidge”, I am in the Japanese Temple Scenario but there appear to be some inconsistencies:
1. why do normally non-violent Buddhist monks attack the character “Charles Harwidge” on sight?
2. the monks are screaming ” bronze eye, bronze eye” shouldn’t this be “banzai” ?
3. I liked the kamikaze chipmunk a real character, will it be used in future games ?
Perhaps other bloggers would like to share their experience of Charles’ games.
” Being Charles Hardwidge by Charles Hardwidge” is available at most good gaming shops in the bins round the back.
I got a great cheat for level 6 – the one where you enter lair of the mad gaming genius and zen master C.H.
Just to the left of his massive wide screen there’s a shelf of old Judge Dredd and 2000AD annuals. Lift the 1985 Judge Dredd edition – behind it is a flashing “graphics fidelity” button. Press it, and when you arrive in the Buddhist temple you will have an invisibility cloak.
So you are 14 years old … explains a lot!
It isn’t anything sinister.
She wants to book a two week holiday on Corfu and would like the use of 1. Deripaska’s little boat or failing that 2. Rothschilds prefab near the beach and bars.
He is the UK agent for both so who else should she ask?
It’s like a sort of card game.
Lord President of the Privy Council, Minister for Cottage Industry and so on.
The winner is the first one to collect a complete set.
Not sure whether to laugh, it’s so very wrong on so many levels
I wonder how she avoids creating a mental picture of what this man gets up to in his private life?
i agree when i look at this /grubby little fag thats what i think disgusting little s cumbag !
Next, he will be wearing a large cardboard cutout of medal ribbons in the ‘Gaddafi’ style.
Don’t forget the uniform complete with gold braiding and brass buttons.
I console myself with the thought that this malodorous ‘man’ has twice brought his own career crashing down through bad judgement. He’s riding very high now and I eagerly await the third collapse, not least because he has a long way to fall.
And not least because Brown is a nasty piece of work when cornered
A few months of internecine skullduggery will fill the time quite nicely before the General Election. If Blears has set the standard, it will be great fun watching them jostling to spout the party line
And a photograph of Herbert Morrison.
The Penguin
have a look at blog no50 up the page click the blog site second photo onthe site ! it’s just what your looking for !
Perhaps she’s realised the almighty fuck-up she made in ‘asking’ Brown to form a government. I couldn’t understand this at the time – perhaps she thought she would have been beheaded in Whitehall if she hadn’t nodded him in.
HM is having the palace revamped and she wanted Mandy’s opinion on the new curtains.
All the gay guys I know are really fashionable and smart.Then I saw Mandleson on the tv in Downing Street on his return from Brussels.He wearing an old red jumper and suit jacket.Looked like he’d got them for the local charity shop.Perhaps he wanted to be seen as a man of the people.He wouldn’t have looked out of place with the pigeon racers and whippet society.
Maybe she just wanted to throw some of that green goo round him as well.
Guido you haver completely missed this one. Forget all the cranks going on about a military coup. All the queen has to do is refuse to attend the state opening of parliament which is due in Nov or Dec I believe. This would not force an election but would send a clear message that the queen no longer supports parliament. Then would see who has more supporters, labour or the queen.
Labour would win that, sorry. No party, even the opposition, could endose the Monarch acting in that way.
Yes, you would get your general election, but you would lose the Monarchy as you know it. Possibly lose it altogether once the whole ‘reform’ can of worms is opened.
And for what? To bring forward an election that is pencilled in for next June anyway?
HMQ was interviewing him for the recent opening for the ‘Groom of the Stool’.
You mean Stool of The Groom
Mistress Of The Bedpan
The Penguin
Superintendent of the shitpan.
Mandy’s new Coat of Arms Crossed Dicks over a Rampant Anus didnt go down well at the Palace.
Now that is really good. Today’s prize so far.
mandlesbum’s elephant dick and Tony’s donkey dick, Gordo’s anus must be the diameter of the mersey tunnel
By the way – where is gordon?
I’ve been away a week and just catching up with the news. grdon is owehere to be seen – but Mandy is all over the news this last week like a measles rash.
Even Sarah – the night after D-Day went to some high profile dinner dressed up to the nines – but alone – no gordon.
Where is gordon?
On the rocking horse, of course. Knappy full, dummy in mouth…
The Penguin
I see on Wednesday, whilst mandy was running round as acting pm, gordon was giving medals to 11 of the 1966 world cup winning squad, at drowning street.
Old Gordon is still trying to make himself popular with The Sun readers. He just never learns.
Wonder if it has anything to do with the forthcoming election of a new Speaker?
Where was HRH yesterday?
If the palace, is there another entrance other than the main gates?
Yes
Baroness Royall was the previous Lord President of the Privy Council. Mandelson is now ruling supreme and Royall got palmed off with the Duchy of Lancaster. They deserve each other really.
It appears that Baroness Royall was a glorified tea girl in Neil Kinnock’s office.Now she has responsibility for the Duchy of Lancaster. John of Gaunt must be turning in his grave.
Bt the way,when I was young we had heard of the people in the House of Lords,we knew who they were.I know I am a bit long in the tooth but I don’t know any of them.They all appear to be placemen of Tone and Gordy. All their backroom trolls. Wonder who will be elevated to the HOL after the next GE?I suppose all the bum-lickers like Vaz,Woodward and Hain.
I thought she was a fucking awful patronising woman on recent QT
well thank you for confirming that you are indeed a taker
Elizabeth II meets The Queen.
I am doing what I can to arrange a cabinet meeting with a large delegation from Mexico City to discuss, at close range, the present Pandemic.
Should sort the wheat from the chaff……oh crap, no wheat….
Well, the idea’s good anyway.
If ma’am has a sense of humour, I wonder if she has a chuckle over how apt, in Mandleson’s case, his title of Lord of the privy is.
As in 3 (b)
priv·y (prv)
adj.
1. Made a participant in knowledge of something private or secret: was privy to classified information.
2. Belonging or proper to a person, such as the British sovereign, in a private rather than official capacity.
3. Secret; concealed.
n. pl. priv·ies
1.
a. An outdoor toilet; an outhouse.
Sorry 3 (a) naturally.
I wonder whether mandy demanded all these silly titles from gordon as reward for keeping gordon in office?
or whether
gordon offered all these silly titles as a display of gratitude for mandy acting as puppet master for this shambles of government that gordon has lost control of?
Or perhaps The One-Eyed One gave him all these silly titles to corral Harridan Harbeingperson – she WAS Deputy PM, after all – and because Mandybum knows where the photos are hidden. You know, the ones with Cyclops and the lads a few years back, before El Gordo set up his politically necessary marriage to a lady who is by all accounts a decent and likeable person. Why did she agree to it, the silly lass?
Two Queens together.
Is there anyone on here who can write a nice letter? I think what the Queen needs to hear now as an antidote to that poisonous bastard is the view of us common folk. A view that is quite prevalent. A nice letter to her majesty could explain how we feel Brown is not up to the job, how we fear for our liberties etc etc. Please could she dissolve Parliament, and no, we wouldn’t mind if she used the Army. Hurrah!
we are waiting for the arrival of 5000+ loyal Gurkha settlers to take the HoC and abolish it.
In view of the length of his title perhaps it would be best to refer to Mandleson as Idi.
Idi Mandleson . I t does sound better than Idi Amin.
Does he keep heads in HIS freezer too?
Hopefully Brown’s has it’s own shelf….
I was told a couple of weeks ago that the Queen was not minded to re-open parliament under the current circumstances. What I find probable is Mandy’s interview today, where he expects a challenge to Brown in the next three months.
This takes the time line to September and the party conference season, Mandy will then let loose the Blairites and tell Brown it is time to go. This will mean a Labour party electing a new leader and a call for cessation of parliament and a general election in November.
The Queen will then open parliament two weeks later.
Oh please God let it be so.
Queen Elizabeth II has always done what’s right for the country… her duty.
Swine flu is expected to peak in October …a new dynamic… will they be able to elect a new leder in such a short time? The labour party leadership process is long and full of hurdles . Could be that Gordon retires on medical grounds before the party conferences..or the parliamentary party demands a medical from the PM. Already Fling and co are hinting at his mental state ….
On his fifth voyage, Sinbad the sailor encountered the Old Mandleson of the Sea, who fastened his legs around Sinbad’s neck and rode on him day and night, until Sinbad wished only for death to release him. Nothing Sinbad could do would dislodge him- the Old Mandelson had him completely in his power…..
On another note, wasn’t ‘First Secretary’ the title favoured by the late unlamented Joseph Stalin?
Uncle Jo UNLAMENTED- speak for yourself you capitalst roader imperialist pig traitor to the workers
Queenie was somewhat dismayed that her errant ministers have been such a disappointment. Not wanting to impose direct rule from Balmoral (Ministers are there to deal with the tedious matters that are actually involved with ruling; that’s what ministers are for, aren’t they?) she needed to talk to what passes for a ruling party. Oh! I forgot the adjectives… what passes for the remnants of a corrupt and self serving party at the trough of public funds… mmm didn’t make me feel better but rolls off the tongue so lightly. Anyway the gist of her enquiry was whether there was anyone left with just a touch of intelligence – who could communicate without resorting to sub-human grunts that could be translated into: “Where’s the expenses form? How much more can I claim? My boots aren’t full yet. It’s all within the rules.”
Mandy, Lord of the Mausoleum of failed Labour projects has the slight advantage of appearing almost prescient in his awareness of how damaging his association with the snouters is likely to be when the next popularity contest comes up. This coupled by his undoubted ability of avoiding becoming involved in the latest scandals by the simple but effective expedient of having been out of the firing line (largely as a result of involvement in prior scandals). This and this alone must surely promote him into a special “I’m untarnished because not enough time has elapsed for any dirt to be dug up / conjured” basis.
One presumes the least Queenie could do is suggest that Mandy close his Mausoleum of Darkness, evict the Labour inhabitants who somehow imagine that sheltered under his wing they are preventing a terrible tragedy from happening.
Will Mandy do the honourable and sensible thing, and agree to a proclamation of “Popularity Contest Time” letting New Labour die naturally, or will he use his undoubted mastery of darkness to pump more snouters into the corridors of extravagance and waste and no doubt, partake of the “wallowing in the trough of public funds”.
The new logo must be Mandlebum’s idea, the RING of confidence.
Well makes sense and says it all… our flag of State is now being used as a political football… the Queen’s the goalie, make that save Mamm.
The Queen wanted to check on the size of Brown’s straitjacket – she still has George III’s in her collection and thinks it could come in handy…..
“Why, you’re not even elected, Lord Mandelson. Yet you have this important title. ”
“Feels good, doesn’t it?”
We sorted out this republican crap in 1660. Tried it, didn’t like it.
Yes, there are many among us to whom the title Subject is natural and desirable.
But there are others who consider themselves Citizens. That is, they do not believe that God gave special blood to one specific family to be the head of our state for ever.
Obviously, unless God had done this, the whole idea would be preposterous.
Poor woman, I hope she changes her gloves immediately after he’s gone.
Perhaps Mandelson is trying to compete with Gaddafi of Libya – have a look at him arriving in Italy this week – you can hire an outfit like his at my local Fancy Dress outfitters – couldn’t get those huge female “bodyguards” though – you need to order them two weeks in advance.
Of course, Mandelson will have a gang of Chippendales for “bodyguards”.
As they say;
“YOU COULDN’T FUCKING MAKE ANY OF THIS UP!”
You’re spot on about Gaddafi, his face also resembled a fat Michael Jackson. What is it about these leaders and power – it always seems to turn them completely bonkers. I think Gaddafi is trying to copy the dress sense of Idi Amin.
What protocol precedent is there for this. Why Mandy, not Gordon, no wonder he didn’t want anyone to know, but it shows who is in charge.
I’ll bet the Queen enjoyed the experience – she must be in despair for us all.
I wonder if the broadsheets will pick this up tomorrow?
What has Mandy got over Gordon to be able to complete this palace coup?
The usual cliche here is that: ‘he knows where the bodies are buried’…
or more importantly, where bodies have been
I expect HM wanted some advice on new curtains for the Palace.
No Sir. Gordon Brhoon is in charge of female window dressing, not Handlesman.
Bet it was fun when she asked “And what do you do, my man?”
Perhaps Gordon is afraid to go these days on the basis that if he doesn’t see her she can’t technically show him the door.
Paranoia is a terrible thing
His Royal Highness the PM (Peter Mandelson) meets the Queen. Ah at last confirmation Gordon is a PPM Puppet Prime Minister.
Yep.
I’m guessing he’s saving his bombshell for the Sunday media.
Do you think he insists on the entire title during conversation?
Anyway, shouldn’t it be Lady Mandelson of Foy in the county of Herefordshire and Hartlepool in the county of Durham, first secretary of state, secretary of state for business, innovation and skills and Lord President of the Council?
And when he bowed to the queen the footman behind him smiled and licked his lips.
P.S. Hilarious story but I’m afraid it was only to confirm his job. From the Court Circular, 13 June:
The Queen held a Council at 2.30 p.m..
There were present: the Lord Mandelson (Lord President), the Rt. Hon. Dawn Primarolo MP (Minister of State, Department for Children, Schools and Families), the Rt. Hon. Patrick McFadden MP (Minister of State, Business, Innovation and Skills) and the Rt. Hon. Christopher Geidt (Private Secretary to Her Majesty The Queen).
The Queen declared in Council the Lord Mandelson Lord President of the Council, who made affirmation as Lord President and as First Secretary of State, Secretary of State for Business, Innovation and Skills and as President of the Board of Trade, kissed hands on appointment and received the Seals of Office.
Although it does go on to say “The Lord Mandelson had an audience of Her Majesty before the Council”, so maybe there is something in it after all. Or maybe he was just helping her decide which dress to wear… the gays are handy like that – her mum would have told you the same…
It used to be the case that the monarch granted an audience to one of their subjects but now it appears than Mandy grants an audience to the Queen.
Soon Mandy will be on the throne and talking about My Government.
Does anyone think it strange that Mandelson is talking about a further coup?
P.S. My age is getting to me, I spent time trying to mentally turn the photo of Christopher Lee as Count Dracula in The Telegraph into Gordon or Mandelson.
The Queen’s invitation to Mandelson is meant to indicate her recognition of him as the de facto Prime Minister – Brown’s position being no more now than a constitutional fiction.
Le Mans 24 hour race Paul Drayson science minster has entered an aston martin and is doing some of the driving in a gushing interview with a totty from eurosport he said “it was part of a scientific experiment and that they were monitoring the level of carbon monoxide in his blood” he then went on I’m science minister you know” to which the flummoxed totty in halting English said “Oh you some kind of athelete then?”
Of couse what it does mean is that our so called science minister is being subsidised by the taxpayer and commercial organisations . He actually left for Le Mans last weekend twittedrfed the event…
Grandma B
I have cut out the headline from the Telegraph relating to Mandleson and the pciture of Christopher Lee as Dracula.
Isn’t there a name for the fad of cutting out headlines and juxtaposed pictures so they look as if they are relating to the same story?
I don’t know. I’m sure there must be a name for it. I used to play with cutting out dolls when I was little, so perhaps it’s called “cutting out”. Is that any help?
The Queen has been powerless to do anything about this rabble, ever since parliament committed treason.
They stripped her of the Royal Prerogative to give Royal Assent to bills placed before parliament, and appropriated it for themselves, thus avoiding the main curb on their overambition to hand the people over to a foreign power without a war.
The Queen cannot say anything about it, because protocol dictates that she must not make comment.
She is hemmed in on all sides by her enemies.
The British Constitutional Acts should have prevented this power grab, but they have just chosen to ignore their own laws. Magna Carta and our own Bill of Rights 1688 still apply, despite parliament’s attempts to ignore them.
We should hang the perpetrators from the nearest lamposts for allowing the destabilisation of our country by foreign dictat.
Britannia is trying to find out how they managed this constitutional crime, but at present has been unsuccessful.
When I first started to read Guido’s blog there was a lot of discussion about hanging from the nearest lamp post with piano wire. This seems to have diminished somewhat recently. I was beginning to think that our politicians had turned over a new leaf or bloggers had given up on capital punishment. Good to see you’re still keen.
I assumed Mandelson wheedled himself into his present position solely to keep the Labour government dragging on, by hook or by crook, until the Lisbon Treaty is ratified.
He probably doesn”t give a stuff about Brown, and indeed most likely finds it highly distasteful having to work with him. But everyone knows damn well that Labour can’t switch PMs *again* now without a general election, and that when that time comes they’ll be stuffed (probably for good, like the Liberals in the early 20th C)
Allegedly, Manglebum likes getting stuffed
After covering Summer fêtes and the like, today, I came home a drunk some beer in the garden. How is it that the more booze I consume, the more serious our situation looks?
Hopefully she reminded him of these 6 Election Pledges to her subjects and asked if or when they will be achieved. She might well have asked if the abject failure of Pledge number 4 led to the BNP’s recent success.
1. Your family better off
2. Your family treated better and faster
3. Your child achieving more
4. Your country’s borders protected
5. Your community safer
6. Your children with the best start
…because the tiny boats of finance rise and fall on the ocean of economics? Maybe HRH is well aware of the shaky State, the sinking boat captained by third rate thieving politcos of all Party on dude types.
Perhaps, HRH and PM are aware of the world beyond this tiny shore. Western ‘markets’ open on Mondays.
It could well be that the Fed in the U.S will be subeonad with Ron Paul’s House resolution to open them up to scrutiny. That would be interesting for all of us as it is long assumed that the money men and women control the world leaders.
Guido story in FT. http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/48ea8500-5779-11de-8c47-00144feabdc0.html?nclick_check=1
I am glad they ready Guido.
Ha does this mean Peter, Dark Lord of the ZNANULAB is now part of the Foy Paloy
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/21/20090614/tuk-4-7m-families-rely-on-tax-credits-6323e80.html
so this is where the money goes!
not MP’s expenses after all.
Lord Fondlebum will sort everything out when he becomes dark lord incarnate.
Hes also now a Baron as well. You missed that one.
“one queen to another. If gordon resigns and you become PM, im abdicating”
Expect Real revolution in the streets if mandy became pm.
I sh1t you not.
Peter has been a busy baron these last few weeks:
At the Google Zeitgeist conference, he talked about “the need for regulation” of the internet.
“There are worries about the impact of the internet on our society,” he said.
I bet he is worried; but not half as worried as we should be about “the need for regulation”!!!!
Welcome to za-nulabour stasi government.
W32/Mandelson-A.
I’ll alert the AV houses.
Hopefully she asked him to become Prime Minister he is by far the most talented Labour politician
She may as well see the Organ Grinder rather than the monkey.
If you really wish to drive the Blindman over the edge refer to the government as the Mandy government at every opportunity.
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