Friday Caption Competition (Stockwell Beach Party Edition)
Andrew Lansley Has Been Shot | Dan Hodges
Another Gay Gaffe From Ken | Standard
Pensioners Paying Price for Funny Money | Telegraph
Ken Penis Gaffe | Metro
Hague Photo Mystery | Guardian
The Iranian Model is Hitler | Lawrence J. Haas
No.10′s Andrew Cooper Should Look at this Poll | Douglas Carswell
Livingstone Has Form on Homophobia | ConservativeHome
Investors HBack Over RBS Meddling | CityAM
Riddled With It | Pink News
I Went Mad in the Seventies | Ken
Guy Newsroom Splits | Indy
Polly’s Voodoo Polling | UK Polling Report
Labour SpAd Backs the Bill | Mark Wallace
Guido Goes for the Lobby | Press Gazette
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Max Clifford says…
“Most people want to read nasty things about people, not nice things.”
DisgustedOfMitcham2 says:
Maybe if they really wanted to “decontaminate the Labour brand” with business people, they shouldn’t have totally buggered up the economy?
Just a thought.
Small turnout for Sandie Shaw concert.
Taxi for the Lib Dem Party
The Tate Modern goes on tour.
Committee to investigate BBC Leftist-bias reporting meets to consider complaints.
C’mon Waynetta get em off.
Hello i’m a troughing Lord and yes this is my holiday home. (Well that’s what i say so i can claim more money from those stupid little tax payers).
I’m laughing all the way to the bank ha ha ha
5 Ugly Bastards Prostitute on Surrey’s Streets
Maybe we should deport all black people now?
I see the unenlightened Tory supporters are amusing themselves with silly caption games. Meanwhile, Gordon and his rejuvenated cabinet are getting on with the job of sorting out the economy and helping the public through difficult times. Gordon’s toiling away on your behalf so don’t worry about it. Relax.
Herr Hardwidge, hast du eine kleine cock?
You’re getting boring now. Mildly amusing to start with, but fails to appreciate that the real C Hardwidge is beyond parody.
Where’s Stanislav when you need him?
Charlie boy!
when everyone on here was saying Broon and his cabinet was a busted flush, you, almost alone, were saying it was fine.
If it was fine, why did it need rejuvenating by bringing in a load of unelected peers who owe everything to Broons patronage?
If by “getting on with the job” you mean fucking the economy into the middle of next week, then I wholeheartedly agree with you.
Hey Charles, keep it up.
My massage chair, £1,000 TV and cash payments to my friend the landlord are all above board and within the rules.
Go on Charles you tell them.
Meanwhile Gordon is toiling away (ha ha) with no mandate, no respect and no idea.
You’re a humourless sod, aren’t you?
I disagree. It made me laugh.
Well, I say laugh. More a kind of snort.
GJG1972
What do you mean -> ‘fucking the economy into the middle of next week’
He’s already f*cked the economy for the next 10 years!
F*cking it into the middle of next week is good news!
As far I can tell, Brown appears to be spending most of his time visiting schools, coming out with shit sound-bites, gurning on TV and Youtube, and trying desperately to connect with people by making fatuous remarks on, amongst other things, Susan Doyle and Ronaldo.
He continually muscles in on every ministerial announcement – usually fouling it up in the process – and rather pathetically seeks to take credit wherever there is some to be had.
I am at a loss to see where he gets the time to ‘toil away’on our behalf. The moron cannot even manage his own bloody Cabinet.
I just wish he would just fuck off.
charles smallwidge you say that no one on the liebore web site wants to talk to you ? they’ve more sense than i gave them credit for !
Tory is bad Labour is great.
Gordon is the bestest.
Why is there a beached whale in front of that house in twatty shorts ?
Might as well relax. When Gordo’s finished, the only industry we will have left will be muggings and pot growing in spare bedrooms.
He might be toiling hard but he’s fucking ineffective.
Reminds me of the one about accountant with constipation. He worked it out with a pencil
Everyone should realise that it’s an old Stasi trick to use a fake name that’s an anagram of the real character behind any publication. They believe that we, the public, are too stupid to realise who’s behind the pen.
‘Charles E Hardwidge’is an anagram (StasiGram) of ‘drags Ed’s wheelchair’. Could Charlie in fact be Mrs Balls?
Just to push the point, ‘Yvette Cooper Balls’is a StasiGram for ‘Svelte Tory Placebo’.
You couldn’t make it up.
ONE for Gordy and his darling anyone got an email address?
Dear Mr. Darling,
Please find below my suggestion for fixing Britain ‘s economy. Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 20 million people over 50 in the work force. – Pay them £1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire. Twenty million job openings – Unemployment fixed .
2) They MUST buy a new British CAR. Twenty million cars ordered – Auto Industry fixed .
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage – Housing Crisis fixed .
4) They must send their kids to school / college /university – Crime rate fixed
5) Buy £50 of alcohol / tobacco / fuel a week there’s your money back in duty / tax etc
It can’t get any easier than that!
P.S. If more money is needed , have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances
We must have £20,000,000,000,000 lying around somewhere – down the back of the sofa perhaps.
Thanks Mr Mugabe, don’t call us, we’ll call you.
Dr Nuts
I agree. I meant it as more of a metaphor. Try to imagine the economy personified, wearing a confused expression and being taken roughly from behind by a brooding Scottish sociopath.
Get those printing presses rolling – we just need £20 Trillion to fix the economy, according to the real socialist. Unfortunately, by the time it is handed out £1m will not be enough to buy a copy of the Daily Mirror and a packet of Capstan non-filter.
find an extra £20,000,000,000,000 for Gordo, no problem. Loadsa more overtime for the lads.
Typical Socialist. Thinks robbing Peter to pay Comrade Paul is “the economy”.
We have to pay off our debts and get more efficient and better at what we do. FAR better. But then again Socialists don’t want a fixed economy full of self-reliant, independent souls. No, they want impoverished, dependent clay.
if liebore did holidays !
labours re-enactment of the d-day landings is a low budget affair !
Are these people we should know? Fuck ‘em – you’ve got bigger fish to fry, namely Shahid ‘Discount for Cash’Malik and the Cuprinol Man. How the fuck that trougher can saunter back into government and pop up on QT with nary an objection defies belief. A good kicking at the polls doesn’t work – time to reach for the silver bullets, wooden stakes and holy water. Anyone who doesn’t cast a shadow – BOOM, straight through the heart motherfucker !
I watched the Orange Hoon on QT last night with complete astonishment (tempered with rather a lot of hate). All he could do was repeat the mantra “Tory Cuts” even when informed that it was the government’s own figures that had been used.
That woman economist seemed to know her stuff.
Labour can safely predict cuts under the Tories since they know they are not going to get in next time and have already set the time-bomb ticking. They will be seen as Tory cuts since the goldfish will blame whoever happens to be in government when the cuts start to bite.
‘HM Revenue & Customs Tax Evasion Hotline
HMRC is committed to targeting tax evasion. We know some people don’t pay their fair share of tax, which is unfair for the rest of us. Now you can help us do something about it.
The Tax Evasion hotline deals with income tax, corporation tax, capital gains tax, inheritance tax, VAT and National Insurance.
The Hotline can take your call on 0800 788 887 (Lines are open Monday to Friday 8am to 8pm, Saturday and Sunday 8am to 4pm), or you can submit a report here.
No information – however trivial it may seem -is too small. It could be the key to stopping fraudulent or criminal activity.
Make a report online now.’
we gave you the kinnocks but you got revenge by giving us Orange U Tan Hain
There is something very unpleasant about Cuprinol Man. The voice the look. Urgh! Easy to hate. Sat there on the QT panel like the turd that won’t flush away.
Smarmy bastard?
I wish they’d extradite him back to Zimbabwe. He’d fit right in up Mugabe’s arse.
The Penguin
Guido (the fat hobbit on the left) visits Gaza
How was the jail cell old boy?
EXCLUSIVE: Britain holidays at home as fear of europe reaches fever-pitch.
“Holidaymakers will remain unaffected by the collapse of parent company says “Thomas Cook” spokesman.”
No, no, Max 2nd, this is clearly a photo taken of that Gordon McDoom fund raising gala ball on Thursday night as per Seen Elsewhere.
due to the poor condition of british beaches this is the only safe beach we have left
north african immigrants celebrate their leave to stay with a sand dance !
labour party organises britains biggest beach party for ALL it’s supporters !
Gordon Brown boycotts Shaw concert. He was confused by “Puppet on a string” and thought Mandlebrot would be in control even more.
Still he was probably worried by the set list… “You’ve not Changed”, “Always something there to remind me” (duet with A Blair) and “Nothing Comes Easy”.
Police: “Don’t worry Milord. We’ll get ‘em for you on their way home, at Stockwell Tube station.”
british wine industry has a bumper year under liebore
British Army trains for the deserts of Afghanistan after government Defence cuts.
shahid malik’s new second office refurbishment doesn’t look like value for money !
labour say by 2010 everybody will live within walking distance of a beach !
sarkozy not invited to labours d-day celebrations !
BRILLIANT!!!!!
HAVE THEY FIXED THE DRY ROT YET?
labour party celebrate on obama beach !
LibDems global warning beach party.
the elected labour party MP’s celebrate not being totally wiped out in 2010 election !
Libdems global beach warming party.
So much for global warming – this was supposed to be the coast by now…
Oh, so you’re the wally who believed Al Gore?
The Penguin
Al Gore is an anagram of “go real”, dontcha know!
Just goes to show how misleading anagrams can be…
Oh come on – give the guy a break – he did invent the interweb after all!
Er…Goal!!!
thats good…
QUIZ QUESTION- each year of the past decade has been cooler and cooler. how many consequtive years of cooler before we reverse global warming predictions 10-15-20-25? Answers to Al Interweb
The Lib Dem Summer Conference gets off to a flying start
It’s 2012, and the remains of the Labour Party congregate for their party conference
Yeah!
It’s fucking fantastic!
McDooms in this hole and we’re dancing on his grave!
Ahahaha-hahahahahaaaa.
Hey! More champagne here, if you please.
recession hits new labour policy for free holidays for the long term unemplyed !
Time to throw the towel in
labour party workers soften the sand so gordon brown can re-bury his fucking head in it !
Like it
You should remove my comment as it was a reply to a comment that you have censored and removed, so my comment becomes irrelevant.
That’s irrelevant.
We’ve been infiltrated by the Borg!
If it were only Seven of Nine (SIGH!)
You labour under the misapprehension that people read these things.
“You Labour”? Me no Labour! Me never Labour, all me life!
Don’t worry the post can be found on the far more interesting Bastard old holborn blog.
Nah, Guido’s hero Harriet Harman.
Was it about Billy No Mates?
The Penguin
Now, should Guido remove this comment about removing another comment, after the original comment and and subsequent reply comment have been removed (or so I can see!)…
Or as the old song goes…
You put your comment in
Take your comment out,
In, out, in, out,
it’s blogged to be read about
Do the bloggy cokey and comment again,
That’s is what it’s all about!
Next… the mysterious comment that was never written and almost replied to but still received 35 complaints!
Or even….
Time to throw in the towel
New series of “Lost” gets off to an unexpected start.
Very good.
This is a crap party
Like the NuLiebore Party?
The Penguin
Lib Dem party is crap in very different ways.
The Tory party is just one huge pile of crap.
This is not a crap party………..it’s the Labour Party
Guidos Club 18-30 Reunion party attracts three gate crashers
I thought this was a “private” beach
Guido and wife do “the McCanns”
You put the first child in
You take the first child out
In
Out
Shake It all About
Fuck Off for some tappas
And that’s what it’s all about!
Ooooooh, Do the Hokey-Cokey!
The Penguin
Washed up and washed out
“Hello, we’re cockneys! I say, this is all jolly good fun, what?”
Man in middle:
“I think you’re supposed to blow the condom up after you put it on your head”.
Okay, I’ll bite.
To which trougher does this pic refer?
Lord Rennard of the Lib Dems, I suspect. See the previous blog by Guido.
When you hover over the image it mentions Rennard.
Ah, yes. It does indeed. Thank you.
“Should we have invited Lord Rennard?”
No
Lifes a beach…then you die
Life’s a bitch, then you marry one, you mean?
O/T, but I’d do that bird second from the right.
Don’t know but it looks like her tits are hanging out.
Can’t see the bird on the left, but if those 3 tits stopped hanging out and went home…
Group of pretentious middle-class twats fuck up the karma of an otherwise down to earth London street.
i like
You are the winner pal
“Down to earth London street” You clearly don’t know that area in Stockwell mate.
Unless of course Lawyers, senior BBC broadcasters and MPs are down to earth types in your book….
Should be “under the earth” types.
ho ho ho, good one
Want to be careful – the police are armed and dangerous down there.
…and they don’t ask many questions first.
And then only if they’ve brought along an interpreter.
Excellent!!
labour supporting traffic warden says “loose the beach or it gets clamped ” !
“Why are there load of used grip seal bags on the pavement?”
“Well, this is Stockwell…”
Looks more like Sangatte
Budget cuts impact latest series of ‘I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here’.
Pair of fat skunks ruin a couple’s plans for an afternoon of reading and sun…
We’d better be quick, the entire cabinet want to bury their heads in here by 4pm.
waiting for google earth photo car
Credit crunch leaves people taking their holidays closer to home
Which of the fat one’s is Guido?
The one with the’Mallen Streak’.
It’s not the one with the short skirt. Well, not unless Guido went incognito.
I will have you know that both ladies were very charming and massively attractive
Fat man looks on as nubile young woman shows him her tolerence level of beer bellies
Eh
Dwarf Guinness Whale stranded on South London beach
Brown promises funds for D-Day re-enactment.
THE WINNAH!
Winner
No Queens allowed. Only heads of state, and dwarves with footstools.
The Penguin
If we wait here long enough, Deripaska’s yacht might come round.
MP Kate’s constituency visit expected at certain time of the month
You sexist filth. If it wasn’t for the suffrin’us wimmin got through you wouldn’t be born.
Yeah but you still can’t get a cabinet post…cept as window dressing love
Funny how you’re prepared to do it all again, but you’ll never find a bloke willing to catch his tackle a second time in a zip.
The Penguin
“And later Jim Fitzpatrick said he would pop over from Millwall to teach us some right Cockerney songs.”
“Oh, yah yah, wicked. I belong to Londonnnn…….”
Boiled Carrots and Carrots….avabanana…
If we put this here, can we claim for our seven beach-huts on expenses?
The first cheerful participants arrive for the public stoning of Gordon Brown. Large crowds expected.
what a truely beautiful idea…do we get to watch the Cabinet being hung drawn and quartered afterwards?
and burned on a pyre of their John Lewis furniture/plasmas/chequebooks/gas barbequeue/massage chairs/scatter cushions.
Is the next beach along Montego Bay? Or Brixton as we more generally call it?
Labour support the British film industry with their remake of ‘The Beach’.
The bloody revolution gets off to a slow start
“And remember Julio, if we’re late for the 4.00 tube, don’t, whatever you do, run to try and catch it…”
Can’t we have a more interesting picture for the competition?
Something like Brown picking his nose and eating it, or Mandelson fondling an under-age Brazilian rent-boy, or David Miliband performing fellatio on a banana?
Its supposed to be about something unusual, surely?
You Party Pooper @ 12;45pm
Can’t be an MP’s gaffe, otherwise the gardener would have trimmed the fucking hedge. On expenses, of course.
The Penguin
Nice
Obama beach suffers the Gordon Brown curse
gotta be the winner
Weight-watchers open air meeting.
very good
Verra guid
Bugger that should have been me
See you, Jimmy!
They have Obama beach, we have Clegg beach
Nice one, chum.
Only votes when the tides out, donthcha know.
The Penguin
ot
Watch Blears pretending to be sorry while blaming Jacqui Smith and Beverley Hughes:
http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/s/1120375_blears_my_regrets
Sick Bag Time!
The Penguin
So bullying from above has ceased then – why don’t they just stick with their principles
What about her blankety-blank “cheque”?
“Grovel or de-selection, Hazel”.
“Christ on my motorbike – grovel, grovel, as much as you tell me, then. Just don’t put me off the gravy train.”
So, she’s stuck to the Nu Labour principles of why Nu Labour are perfect and things are so bad – it’s everybody elses fault…
Love the brooch excuse – it’s the newspapermen’s fault. Not that she sat down and deliberately put it there.
Guess she’s looking to get back into cabinet – if Malik can do it – she’s squirrelling for her own return.
Sorry, just posted this on the wrong thread….
What a load of contrived bollocks. She knew perfectly well what she was doing when she flounced out wearing her silly little badge. This is now all about trying to save her skin in Salford following the backlash, nothing more. If she is trying to suggest that her timing was just a mistake then all I can say is that anyone with such apalling judgement should never be allowed anywhere near high office. And then to hear her whinge about 4 weeks of relentless pressure from the media – she was lucky to get away with only that.
How very Labour – Peeeoook!
Deprived of expenses, hard-up MPs host pavement sale of items previously considered essential to performing their jobs as MPs.
Something to do with beached whales.
Fat fighters waiting for the fish n chip van to cruise by.
All valves open as the pizza delivery arrives.
Verra Guid
Yah. St. Ockwell has sooo much more class tha St. Reatham, don’t you know.
Not as fun as Cla’ham though darling
Barl Harm is nice too.
And South Chelsea (aka Battersea).
Blar’m is the sound of a sloane ranger bomb going off….
This bunch of tossers look like Lib Dems to me.
Am I right?
Anyone know, is it really Rennard’s place?
nope… see http://www.torybear.com/
Damian, are you sure Gordon said he wanted us to “trample all over that beach from Stockwell”?
Apparently if we gurn like a bunch of idiots and one of us looks like Donny Osmond, Guido will use us in a Friday caption competition.
A low turnout for the “Old Etonians” re-union party.
Just wait until Wee Goerge Osborne and Boris Johnson arrive together with their glorious leader Dave”Boy”Cameron
Gordon Brown organises a party for all those democratically elected in his government… then realises he can’t attend himself. Doh!
Is it a slow news day at the BBC?
Brown holds ‘next steps’meeting
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8096624.stm
Since when was holding a meeting ‘news’?
What next?
Brown answers ringing telephone
Brown has a cup of coffee
Brown picks his nose
??!!
Feigns surprise….
It used to be an old joke about politicians – desperate for good publicity would turn up for the opening of someone’s letter; Brown’s taken it a stage further, nobody would have him near them to open a letter, so this is the best he can do.
Brown eats it!
Grown men in London can’t afford long trousers
They should a’be waring the kilt
…och, aye: all the better to sample their wares!
The harsh reality of a British summer holiday under the McBroon junta
After being caught ‘cleaning’the windows with their tongues, Guido and his friends are sent out to play in the street.
Excellent
Thanks verra much
“Sex on Beach” re-enactment Society meet in Stockwell
Bloody sand gets everywhere!
The Penguin
The Fat Twerps meet for an 80s revival down the road from Balham.
We were giving the new neighbour from Brazil a welcoming, but we hear he never made it out of the tube station. Never mind, there’s lots of police around today so maybe they can see to it!
“Good effort, Guido. Pass your pooper-scooper I think she nearly stepped in a dog turd”.
Greg Pope MP is standing down at the next election according to Labour list.
He said It was not a sudden decision and that changes in his family circumstances meant he was loking [sic] to try something new. He further stated that his decision had “absolutely nothing” to do with the MPs’ expenses scandal or the leadership of Prime Minister Gordon Brown.
Well that’s a relief! An honest MP!
Er, maybe.
According to The Telegraph Greg Pope claimed £1,590 for shopping at John Lewis in March 2006. In September 2006, he submitted claim of £560 for two paintings, for which a receipt with no company letterhead was submitted.
About as honest as a man with a balaclava stuck in an open window carrying a bag marked “swag” then.
“something new”
Signing on every fortnight, I hope. It will broaden his experience.
The Penguin
The’Friends of Fatty Arbuckle’Society wait in eager anticipation for their summer treat.
Guido fawkes, a bawdy house lady, private Pike, Caroline Flint and Derek Draper finally come clean about their private ‘therapy’group.
Whaurs Private Fraser?
He’s Dooomed!
The Penguin
DEREK DRAPER’S FAN CLUB!
Complete rubbish – there are people there!
“Great spread – love the bubbly – could have had the garden done – its all free remember”
Recession bites in Stockwell. Staycations the new travel.
If you want my vote give me a referendum on the Lisbon ‘Treaty’
Don’t you have a number?
Ring me anytime sweety
get Kate Humble, orkas have beached in south London
Stockwell? Obstructing the pavement?
Mind we don’t come along and fill you full of lead.
Mind how you go.
FUCK LISBON AND FUCK GORDON BROWN – IS THAT CLEAR ENOUGH???
The winner
I agree – clear, concise and to the point!
Heads you lose
Mine’s a guiness!
Where’s a trigger-happy policeman when you need one?
Last heard of somewhere in Chelsea & Kensington claiming that shot gun pellets are ‘bullets’
Troughers get Sandy Lane Barbados, Maldives, Mauritious etc etc
Constituents have to make do and improvise.
What sort of paintings can be used solely in the course of MP’s business then?
Justice Minister provides 5 living white stooges to prove no knife crime in Stockwell.
Innocent parishioners of St.Ockwell celebtae not being shot at by police.
Wilson, Keppel & Betty re-enactment society stopped by idol gawpers
…you’ve beaten me to it (that’s not a suggested caption, by the way): by several hours! See, we Cornish can be a bit slow on the up-take sometimes (unlike our M.P.s)
celebrate
Fuck me it’s Guido Fatley and his dance ensemble
Welcome to my trough. That’s shit your standing in by the way.
Not content with the scale of his annonymity, Guido retreats to the pavement for some peace.
Would that be a jam piece?
I’ve no idea wat you’re talking about.
Oh bugger here comes Gorden with a street sign saying Obama Beach.
So you see, if we put this furniture outside on the street, we can claim that the street is our main home, and the house then becomes our second home.
Love it!
(Approved by the All Claims Allowed Office)
That chair on the left can be additional office space, so we can claim for that as well. Oh, and Clarissa? You can be the staff manager, £53,000 a year, OK?
The Penguin
New series of Men Behaving Badly with Neil Morrissey and Donny Osmond, attracts fat slags.
The police decided that a crime against fashion justified their next Stockwell shooting.
Four wankers and 2 cups.
“Your horses are fit for work.”
This is our entry for the Turner Prize.
Top floor window on the right. That’s Jacqui Smith’s main residence.
Dear All
Here is the ditto
‘Tory rebel supporters protest on George Osbourne’s private beach claimed on expenses and demand Cameron sack his Bullingdon Pal for house flipping!’
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
Cock
Dear Simon R
Oh you are awful…….. but I hate you!
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
ps no need to get upset because I am better than you at this.
Labour Party stormtroopers try to pass off Geoff Hoon’s ninth house as a shelter for retards until the heat dies down.
Lord Rennard’s garden party aint what it used to be since his expenses scam got rumbled. Incidentally, does anyone know what has happened to the political betting site?
Dear All
‘Tories run out cash trying to bribe the electorate that they would make a credible government forced to holiday in the UK’.
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
Are there no human rights at Glasgow University ? Suggest you contact Michael Martin MP, but sort of quick.
There are precious few humans, mate.
Dear resurgemus
Ann McKechin is the MP for Glasgow University area.
You reply was quick, it was decisive and it was wrong.
Like most Tory Policy.
A Tory trying to make policy is like a guy with no thumbs trying to open a jar of pickles!
You just know that berk is going to come a cropper.
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
Sorry just been out to cut the grass – gives you students time to think.
I find your existence hilarious – you are what people on this site would call a hoon of tomorrow.
Let’s see future career; Union president of some pointless crap, aim to be a political researcher, journo or work in the “caring” sector , perhaps local councillor but nowhere where you actually have to live among common people.
If you’re basing your career on other NUS loons pop down to Primark and buy yourself a nice blouse and shoes – better throw in some tampons just in case.
My only questions are which public school did you go to and is anal fisting on demand a human right ?
PS best tone down the disbaled jokes unless you’re planning to get a job at the Mirror
A Tory trying to make policy is like a guy with no thumbs trying to open a jar of pickles!
fookin ilarioos that, laird av glasgae yooni. must be a nifty institootion to teach stuff like dat.
Looks like glasgow university needs urgently to find some political diversity (and I don’t mean hard left and just left).
Dear All
‘Something unfunny about Tories and expenses.’
Yours, mind numbingly, boringly
George Unlaid
The Campaign to bring back ‘The Chinese Detective’Calder College of pipe fitting and metal work.
Dear George Unlaid
For the 9 time I am not going out with your sister!
My main gripe is the echo!
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
…”you reply was quick…”; “For the 9 time…”
Reading English as a Second Language at Glasgow, are you?
“The Campaign to bring back ‘The Chinese Detective’”
I’m back!
Now what?
I thought it was Labour suggesting upping all the benefits to bribe the voters – under the disguise they’re voting B-*-P because they’re poor.
If you’re going to comment on the news – stop reading The Beano!
Plane Stupid Christmas Party gets off to slow start.
huge shorts
They need to be. Have you seen the size of Guidos “Fosters” child, Stella?
Short huges
“Oh golly gosh, what will we do for fun, now that James has blown up the condom?”
Party workers stumble on Ming Campbell’s crack stash.
‘Recession and opinion poll rating forces downsizing of Brighton Labour Party conference.’
I don’t get it.
It is Guido and his mates
Has he got any?
Obviously he knows someone who can airbrush
Yes, can’t you see the one he’s already blown up?
The Penguin
Washed up party still has more happy members than New Labour.
Governor of Bermuda welcomes the island’s newest residents from Cuba
We’d better not stay in the sun too long in case we get a Brazilian tan. This is Stockwell, ya?
We’re in Stockwell you say? Shit – was that an armed cop I just saw – I’m outta here!
ot
Sickening grovelling from Hazel Blears desperate to get back on the gravy train:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1192520/Stupid-thoughtless-cruel-Hazel-Blears-reveals-regrets-knifing-Brown.html
Doesn’t fancy a job as an understudy in the Crankies then? Funny how the conscience wavers when the cheques stop rolling in.
Mandelson no doubt has forced her to make a public apology and withdraw here comments. It’s all so pathetic.
Brown has told Blears to grovel publicly or he will release information that will finish her off for good.
Expect the same with regard to Flint, Hughes, Smith, and Purnell.
As for the small fry, Sheersmith is to be deselected before the next election just like Gibson.
That’ll teach them to criticise the Dear Leader.
The only thing she was ever right about was the McBust ‘gurning’YouTube video. Quite the most revolting thing we have had to watch from our Saviour of the World. Believe it or not, someone actually thought it was a good idea….
The Penguin
Oh, I’d love to watch Flint grovel.
Come the next election will get her t*ts out just to get the votes?
I can’t think that she’ll be voted in on policy!
This reminded me of the Cultural Revolution – so dug this up:
Self-criticism
Under some totalitarian systems of communism, important party members who had fallen out of favor with the political elite were sometimes forced to undergo “self-criticism” sessions, producing either written or verbal statements detailing how they had been ideologically mistaken, and affirming their new belief in the party line. Self-criticism, however, did not guarantee political rehabilitation, and often offenders were still executed.
In the People’s Republic of China, self-criticism, called jiǎntǎo in Chinese, is an important part of Maoist practice.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-criticism
Aye – Orwell wrote that into 1984.
Hmmm, so that’s where we really are at. Nice.
I still don’t have sympathy for Hazel Blears, despite General Secretary Archbishop, Lord Satan’s demand for self-criticism. It’s her, and her fellow cronies and wenches who demanded that all cowtow to the demands of a political ideology which was discredited last century.
As a Catholic, I’m taught to forgive and forget – but I hope the whole Nu Labour party, members and supporters, burn in hell! But there again, I believe after the 1917 visions of Our Lady at Fatima, that’s His opinion of communism as well (the errors of Russia!).
So is this Blears apology the equivalent of Labour waving its Little Red Kook?
4 bedroom family home in sought-after neighbourhood convenient for city and west end. £2.5 million freehold.
Don’t live just for the moment, look behind you, that willow is going to fuck your foundations and you’re going to need underpinning.
Shame the arborist can’t recognise a weeping silver birch behind a (very overgrown) privet hedge… all the better for keeping the public out of the trougher’s garden…
I don’t mind where they do it, as long as they don’t do it in the streets.
Let’s do it in the road.
No the Beatles said “Why don’t we do it in the road?”
combined LibDem summer bbq and Labour Gala has record turnout
blears = red dwarf
Is Mark Oaten still picking us up?
Dear All
‘Tories take long term view and grab key position for funeral of Margaret Thatcher!’
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
Fans celebrate Susan Boyle winning “Scottish Man of the Year” award in GQ magazine
The ‘George Baird Fan Club’member did say he’d be parading down this road later for us to jeer him?
If we party here long enough, we can grow some beards to go with our sandals
He should have gone to Bodens.
Dear All
‘Tory Summit to draw straws who is going to watch the the beach while the others have sex in the wheelie bins!’
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
George,
Ignore the teasing of the other bloggers. You are a Laird or Lord like myself. I am particularly encouraged by your desire to collect long and self appointed titles; self aggrandisement will serve you well and is not remotely connected to feelings of insecurity.
At your stage in life I found two things really helpful – grow a moustache and always were silk underpants.
Sincerely Yours
A friend
Does the Laird not understand that poking fun at the Tories is akin to treason in these parts? However, I ask for his help.
I was a big fan of the Scottish current affairs programme, “Monarch of the Glen.” I was distraught at its cancellation at the hands of those communist appeasers, the BBC.
Please, Laird George, forget this pointless campaign for human rights. Focus on important issues.
Get “Monarch of the Glen” back on the air. “River City” is just not the same.
Dear Cardinal Richelieu of Hartlepool and Foy
God Bless you Sir.
I read Guido’s comment policy and he is in favour of poking people with a stick.
The Boy.
As a humble man of the people type dude I like to potter about, these Tory Bloggers are wicked people but luckily so am I if I have to be.
I learned at Glasgow University that it okay to embrace being a right Huhne and no revenge should be considered off limits.
I want to fit in but not at the expense of putting the boot in.
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
George my dear boy,
don’t let this Human Rights malarky blind your judgement, every so often if you are going to move up in politics you have to do unpleasant things.
Imagine where I have to put my hands just to operate our glove puppet PM ? But I do it for the greater good just like I know you will
Richelieu
GL…
Your run a shit blog.
Get back on the buckie and leave politics to your betters.
…..do I detect a little dischord?
Dear Hoof-hearted
I detect a little myself.
Unhappy English Tories meet the Glasgow working class!
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
@232
“Glasgow Working Class”
ROTFFL…
POTM.
Glaswegian: “I’m not working class – I don’t work”
nb. ANY poking of fun at politicians (of all classes) should be warmly welcomed. Let’s not forget that Cameron will NOT give us the referendum he slyly promises. I’ll still vote Tories but I haven’t been fooled on that issue. The Euro is coming unfortunately
Obviously you never read my remark above – so I’ll repeat it here.
If you want to comment on politics – don’t read The Beano!
Pilot for UK version of Baywatch given thumbs down.
I told you we should have dug that tunnel a bit further, we’re still in London…
Some people, waiting for the tide to come in, who believed McSnot’s crap about ‘everything’is possible.
I hear Blears has been threatened by Brown with the mother of all smearing unless she begs for forgiveness in public:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1192520/Stupid-thoughtless-cruel-Hazel-Blears-reveals-regrets-knifing-Brown.html
Who’s next?
Is McBride wielding the smearing-trowel, I wonder?
I still want to know if McBride has truly been sacked and whne he left the civil service. I’m sure someone knows the definitive answer – any ideas?
Perhaps that Milliband sandwich is coming back to haunt her.
Look at the state of that hedge. Is that an upturned recyling box I see? We wouldn’t allow an unsightly mess like that in Macclesfield, I can tell you.
I can lend you some hedge trimmers if you like Guido.
Guido wins “worlds most blatant cleavage letch”.
Quite…
Had thought that I was the only one to notice.
:blush:
Dear All
‘George Osbourne’s Beach Party is reported as a success as one person turned up and mingle with press and security’.
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
Yes, but it sounds like he’s got laid and you haven’t.
You’ve not met Charles Hardwidge have you, you appear to have a lot in common ?
Dear resurgemus
Has George Osbourne got laid?
Well he has bags of experience in cock ups!
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for human Rights at Glasgow University
sorry typo that should have been George Osbourne’s got Laird
looks like your wrist can take the night off
Osbourne does indeed have a great deal of experience of cock ups. He’s been watching them happen on the opposite side of the House of Commons for years.
Jealous at all? ‘cos he did one person!
damn it… typo!
Jealous at all? ‘cos he did have one person!
In an effort to stave of a tidal wave of criticism the prime minister published a picture of voters who are happy with his leadership.
Journalists however remain sceptical and accuse the prime minister of lying again.
Another HBOS foreclosure.
Applicants queue for only job left in Britain – 4th Underbutler for David Cameron.
Surely that should be 5th Underbutler for Shaun Woodward?
A German got there first!!
They should all be shot
The behavior of Smith, Blear and Flint show why generally women are not fit for senior management positions.
Women don’t get on in business because they cannot control their hormones
It must be very hard for you to be humble – being so perfect and all..
Kate Humble?
Good job Maggies injured – you wouldn’t have any hormones after she finished with you.
Please don’t react, it is no my opinion, it is an objective fact
Is your surname HEAD
Is your name Rick with a silent P?
By the fiery comets of cassiopiea, you’d best tell that to Lord Alan Sugar!
Cor Blimey! I’ve ‘eard enough already. If they were window dressing, then they were a shabby set of curtains. No, you must be mistaking me for Sid James. Now, let me ‘ave a go on the jelly, for gawds sake.
This only applies to feminists! Real feminine women can compete with men on a level playing field and don’t need positive discrimination/mentoring or quotas.
“Just when you thought it was safe to go into the water………..a turd floats past in the gutter. Ah – it’s our Glorious Leader going for a swim”
Spontaneous rave in suburbs after George Osborne drops latest delivery in street
And more excuses from Jim Devine……..this time in his local rag The West Lothian Courier:
MP asks Police to investigate expenses claims
Jun 11 2009 by Alistair Watson, West Lothian Courier
WEST Lothian MP Jim Devine has asked cops to investigate him in a bid to clear his name after becoming embroiled in allegations of wrongdoing concerning his parliamentary expenses.
The Livingston Labour MP told the Courier he has approached senior police officers and asked them to investigate his expenses claims.
Mr Devine has faced close scrutiny in recent weeks over two claims he has made since replacing Robin Cook as MP in 2005.
It emerged he paid £2157 for electrical work carried out at his London home to a firm that had a false VAT number and non-existent address.
Mr Devine also claimed £2326 to pay friend Tony Moran, publican of Blackburn’s Moran’s Turf Bar, to install 66 metres of shelving at his London flat.
It was reported that disgruntled party members in Livingston wanted to report the MP to police, accusing him of “fraud and embezzlement”.
But the politician told the Courier he had called the cops in himself to end the speculation surrounding him.
He said: “I spoke to police officers to see if I was being investigated for fraud and a senior officer confirmed I wasn’t.
“So I have asked if it is possible for them to check the allegations that have been made against me.
“I am sick and tired of the allegations and half-truths. It has had a big impact on me, my family and my friends.
“It is time to clear this nonsense once and for all. When the police investigate this I will be vindicated.”
Mr Devine has still to face his party’s special National Executive Committee endorsements panel next week over the claims relating to his expenses.
The beleaguered politician could lose his ticket to stand at the next General Election if the panel find him guilty of abusing the system.
But the Labour MP said he would face the panel with confidence after winning the backing of his local party at a meeting of Livingston constituency members on Sunday.
Mr Devine added: “It was the first opportunity I have had to present my case. I thought it was a very positive, open and honest meeting.
“I gave them my response to the allegations that have been made and I got their unanimous support and endorsement.“
However, one Labour party member who attended the meeting described it as “bizarre”.
They claimed that Mr Devine told the meeting the shelving was not in his London flat but in a lock-up at his Blackburn home.
They said: “He claimed it was for storing Labour Party boards and posters but I was not convinced.
“I think a few people would have liked to have said more but they were a bit wary of putting their heads above the parapet.”
When the Courier asked Mr Devine if he stood by the statement he gave us last week regarding the location of the shelving he would only say: “This is now subject to a police investigation. I have made my position clear.”
http://www.westlothiancourier.co.uk/west-lothian-news/west-lothian-news/2009/06/11/mp-asks-police-to-investigate-expenses-claims-62405-23838797/
Fuck me one minute its in the cellar of his local pub then ints in a garage, WHERE THE FUCK IS THE SHELVING you little wanker !
Contents of MOAT put to good use.
Stockwell residents have a “watch a cameraman get run over” party.
Deselected MPs fondly remember the good times.
A gathering of the Labour party.
A gathering of the entire Labour electorate from the 2009 Euro elections.
A gathering of people prepared to vote Labour. Waiting for their bus ride back to Liverpool.
Anything “Don’t Panic” can do,
Guido can do …..errrrrr.. cheaper
In these recessionary times that is a very useful talent.
The Penguin
Lord Laird
why is it every time I meeting the working people of Glasgow, they have actually left Glasgow? Does anybody with ability ever stay ?
They’ve all come down to London hoping to be Labour MPs. They heard you can become a millionaire in five years.
Christ…
That’s a lot of Big Issues.
Labour job interview:
Q. Are you Scottish?
That’s it.
Aye, but remember, they’re all Scottish Lowlanders!
Scottish Lowlifers you mean!
The Penguin
Rally to celebrate Gordon’s promise of ‘transparency’.
Got our Giros, back to the grind
Got our Giros. Back to Liverpool – Bread’s showing on UK Gold.
Another British beach loses it’s Blue Flag status due to human pollution.
From (CBS) today: “Psst. Don’t tell them I told you, there’s a new plot to get rid of him. It’s totally hush hush. More than my life’s worth to reveal the names. Actually only a few key Government Ministers know the details, and they’ll swear blind they didn’t have a clue.
Which is pretty well what happened last week to the great British political coup that never was. ”
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/06/11/uttm/main5082346.shtml
Bollocks to the caption competition.
This sheer CxUNT Brown has ruined this country;
Yobs who should be executed given “life” in prison for murder and will be out in 19 years – HANG THEM.
Debt that will last for our children’s lifetime – HANG BROWN,EXECUTE HIM.
Sensible policies for a better Britain.
Surely you mean whitewash them?
The Penguin
OK, now we’ve cast Frodo, Merry, Pippin and two orcs, but who’s going to be Gandalf?
Frank Dobson.
I was thinking of Helen Mirren. But the n I often do.
Ditto
Gordon Brown’s food tasters await the first delivery of Labour’s mass-produced semen by tractor.
Pointless stunt fails to fool seagull.
Do like the Green Party and keep your carbon footprint low by holidaying at home.
Stockwell “C” holds street party after being chosen as site for one of Britain’s new nuclear power stations.
Dear Cardinal Richelieu of Hartlepool and Foy
“George my dear boy, don’t let this Human Rights malarky blind your judgement, every so often if you are going to move up in politics you have to do unpleasant things”.
Me move up in politics?
Why would you think someone like me would ever get asked?
I am so far down the food chain in life that it isn’t funny.
“Imagine where I have to put my hands just to operate our glove puppet PM ?”
I am sorry to hear your job entails a certain amount of risk; I spent two years stuck out that the Glasgow University Penal Colony (Vet School) at Garscube, first day I got out of the transport the stench of shit offend my delicate sense of smell and then the animals weren’t much better covered in doo doo.
One day I was walking along this corridor looking for the bathroom when this old tart of an academic with a female student in tow stops me and asks in a loud voice so I would know she was important;
‘Can I help you’!
I looked her up and down and said No and walked on without stopping and backward glance. The student beamed a big smile at me; no doubt I had bumped into an old officious cow.
On top of that I didn’t need any help to go for a piss being an adult I was well capable.
“But I do it for the greater good just like I know you will”.
I don’t think that people put much stock in my abilities but thank you for the vote of confidence.
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
GL
GL
just checked your website – are you sure your not getting into this title thing ?
George Laird
The Campaign for human Rights at Glasgow University, Blue Peter badge holder Humpty Dumpty and bar, Rear Admiral of Bendoon and Braceyourself, Prize Numpty, Scottish Order of selfappointed Hoons ,Campaign for real Freemasonry, Gauleiter Kick sectarianism out of football ( Except Glasgow wing ), Girl guide leader, 3 GCSEs, Chairman National Forum of Onanism practitioners.
Dear resurgemus
“3 GCSEs”.
Wingnut, in Scotland when I sat exams they were called O grades.
GCSE are the English version.
That is twice today that you have been wrong in matters of fact.
You are obviously a complete hoon, which fastfood joint are you posting from?
And can I get a discount?
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
Who you calling wingnut
Georgy darling
thread appears to be broken, reply below at #316
‘I don’t think that people put much stock in my abilities …’
Well, that was the most honest thing you’ve said today – now, here’s the prize question – can you work out why?
Dear Dr Nuts
“Well, that was the most honest thing you’ve said today”
That should be, ‘Well, that was the most honest thing you’ve written today’.
Arse!
Spell Retard!
How much did you pay for your title, more than a tenner?
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
Dear George Laird
I am very concerened to hear that there is a campaign for human rights at Glasgow University. In what way are the students and staff there being deprived? In an episode when I was captured by pirates in the Carribean, I was tied to an oar for three weeks. Is this the sort of thing you mean? In that case, I had my own “campaign”: I killed the gaurd and freed the other wretched oarsmen and we fought the crew to take control of the ship.
Yours sincerely
Captain Marryat
Obviously it slipped your feeble imagination that some of us don’t bother too hard when replying to you with thinking about semantics.
The sentiment is the same.
My PhD is real.
Sadly your genius isn’t!
Friends of Al Gore grab best spot way before Germans.
Gordon throws party to cheer up repentant Hazel Blears.
Jean Charles thought it wasn’t a patch on the Copa Cabana, but a much better idea than running for the tube.
“Well done Guido. The detail is fantastic now pass that poop-scoop, she’s just stepped in a dog turd”
This blog is full of trolls and tribal Conservative hangers on. You may not like it but Gordon’s an economic giant and he’s in full control. While you play your immature games and wallow in hatred and misery the Labour party is building a better world for tomorrow.
Multiple choice:
1) You are absolutely right.
2) You have a subtle sense of ironic humour.
3) You are a retarded twat.
I know where my vote is…..
You forgot 4) You are a complete Cnut and can’t stop the tide…
“The Labour party is building a better world for tomorrow.”
Scary, huh?
Charles 1, Charley 1,you have changed your profile again,so you must be a computer professional,can you fix my computer for me,every time I get a picture of your mate Brown on my pc screen it puts up a load of text saying he is a lieing theiving git then morphs into andy mandy the lord of all the slime and garbage.
‘Gordon’s an economic giant’He who sold our gold reserve at the lowest possible price? even telling the world he’s going to sell the gold to make sure it was so!
He who spent our private pensions?
He who kept the country in increasing debt with his ‘golden fiscal rules’?
He who announced over 100 times that he’d brought about an end to ‘boom and bust’?
He who took a Conservative ‘boom-legacy’has given us the worst recession since 1939?
He who deregulated the BoE, and created the Financial Services Authority – directly causing the complete collapse of the Banking industry?
He who’s debt is so great it’s incomparible except by accumulating all the debts of all the governments of the past 300 years?
He who considers calling in the IMF to run the economy ‘a financial holiday’?
Here’s why you think so – your pension is unaffected by Browns incompetence. IF you suffered like everyone else, you wouldn’t be so pleased with your ‘glorious leader’.
If his pension is unaffected then he’s employed by the Government (end of salary,gold plated, enhanced – you name it they’ve got it). No one else’s pension that I know of is unaffected by Brown’s incompetent handling of the economy’!!!!
I’m not sure you understand the rules about caption competitions Charles…
Nor does that Scotchland Twat George.
The Penguin
Better world for tomorrow, eh?
Commendable, I’m sure, but it doesn’t really explain why closer (temporally and geographically) to home, everything has to be such a fuck-up, does it?
Thanks for that Charles. I laughed so much when I read it that my dinner came out of my nostrils. Whole baked beans and all.
C’mon and join us! Are you Renn’ard enough?
George
this is excellent experience, Parliament is exactly the same – dumb animals and mess everywhere.
Keep up the good work.
Must dash or I’ll miss my off the cottaging in the New Forest this weekend
Richelieu
London Labour party holds post mortem on local elections
Lord Laird
my unreserved apologies on the GCSE inaccuracy.
I can therefore assume the rest is correct – what exactly is Onanism ?
Try Wiki
Surley you mean wanki?
I was going to put that in the comment but being a very nice person who doesn’t like to offend anyone I thought better of it.
But where’s our General Election, Brown you tw*t, well apart from the lieing sh*tbags in charge of this country.
Dear resurgemus
Thank you for acknowlegde your previous blunders, it takes a big man to admit a mistake.
I salute your courage.
“I can therefore assume the rest is correct”.
You can assume nothing except I have potential to be one of the most complete hoons you could ever meet.
“what exactly is Onanism”.
Surely you could ask your dear old papa after he lets you out of the basket in the morning to go pee!
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
We invited our MP but the sand wasn’t golden enough
Greenpeace wait for a glimpse of the rare urban bloated Rennard whale.
They’re facing the wrong way, he’s hiding inthe wheelie bin.
The Penguin
BBC test new economy version of Desert Island Disks for post Labour era
Government organised spontaneous acts of communial celebration to show gratitude for the Glorious Leader aren’t a patch on the street parties our parents organised in the 70s (when we were a free country).
“Hey, it’s not much of a party but just wait until Jean-Charles brings his Brazillian flair. Where is he, anyway?”
Visitors to Gordon Brown’s shallow grave….
Global warming has turned the voting landscape into a desert for New Labour supporters.
RMT Summer Fayre in full swing
Nice bush… Shame about the trim.
Labour Party Conference invites all remaining members after recent elections.
BBC scales down on its international correspondents in a bid to avoid reporting the news.
Huge turnout in Iranian presidential election
at least somepeople get an election
5 Ugly Bastards Stand in Street
The last five remaining diehard fuckwits who actualy give a toss, watching the State funeral of Gorgon Mc Doom.
His holiness and most eminent chief poncho fuckwit Gorgon Mc Doom, passed away after a long and prolonged ‘ mental illness’which lasted for just a tad over 13 very long horrendous years… oh well, never mind.
The ‘turnout’was larger than expected?
This is really all we could get on expenses?
Worried Neighbour: “Hello, Police? There seems to be a gathering on the pavement opposite my house”
Police: “Where do you live?”
Worried Neighbour: “Stockwell.”
Police: “Do any of them look Brazilian?”
Worried Neighbour: “Brazilian? I don’t know… maybe…”
Police: “Get under the bed and don’t come out until the shooting stops.”
Guido acts like a Cnut*.
Cnut stood on a beach and ordered the sea to go out to show that even a king has a limit to his powers.
Cnut did very well for himself. At 18 he was King of Sweden, Denmark and England.
The Penguin
Hasn’t he got a descendant in the Government at the present? Lord… the name’s on the tip of my tongue…Hardicnut?… No! Lord Handy-Cnut? No, that’s not right either… you’ll just have to help me out (as the Bishop said to the Actress)!
Yet another slow blog-roll news day. Makes about 1 month of fuck all news here.
Grave of the Unknown Labour Supporter!
South-London locals defy new EU beach regulations:
“Brussels will never stop us! If we want dog-shit on our beaches, no matter what it takes, we’ll fucking well have dog-shit on our beaches!”, fumed one sun-seeker.
Some of Gordons unelected pals waiting for the peerage bus which should arrive shortly.
“Bloody Ryanair cheapo flights…..”
An Englishman’s home is his sandcastle
Caroline Flint now living on side of the road after shock resignation. “Friends” are quoted as saying that she’s up to 2 litres of Frosty Jack premium cider per day!.She is often seen shouting at buses whilst dressed only in her pyjamas.
The Five were disappointed to discover that time, coastal erosion and it’s proximity to the Jonah of Caledonia had taken their toll on Obama Beach.
“Never mind,” said Dick, ” let’s get absolutely shitfaced anyway!”
“Boomshanka!” woofed Timmy.
The last remaining white Anglo saxons have a ‘get together’… and wonder “how the fuck did it come to this”?
Many a true word spoken in jest
Labour unveil new pink sphere to combat knife crime.
Now let’s drink a toast to the Tory tide coming in.
Hedge fund managers try and restore confidence after new privetacy law is introduced.
WTF
Woosh!
Fuck Ryanair and having an incontinent mother.
Save the Whale
from twats
front page of brochure for Thomson new Recession Busting Holiday-lite packages.
not me maybe someone else?
it’s not much but its home
Last one to the tube station is a Brazilian.
“Someone hurry up and build a sand-castle. I feel another mortgage claim coming on.”
Dear Dr Nuts
“My PhD is real”.
Tell me during your ‘viva’, that is what they call the oral examination could you walk out of the room or was your arse too sore and they had to carry you out?
“Sadly your genius isn’t!”
Opinions vary!
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
The deck chairs and blankets and sand courtesy of the Department of Tourism and Culture. Helping to make Britain sunnier.
Fat, alcoholic Irish c.u.n.t & Ursus Toryus frolic with fugly whores outside my holiday cottage.
A spokesman for the ‘Stockwell Beach Party’said “we paid for the deckchair out of our own money”.
Party, Party,
The whole nation is invited to my leaving party. Bring your own booze. Don’t miss. This may be the last Labour Party ever… so get on down!
(P.S. no Brazilians, in case the bullets hit the right target)
Oh I do like to be beside the roadside!
We’re bagging our places early to watch Mandelson’s coronation procession go by.
Is it true that the First Prize on offer is a year’s subscription to the Labour Party and the Second Prize is two?
Last 5 Labour voters cornered on S London archipelago
Life’s a beetch!
“In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the London underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team.”
18-30 turns 31.
“Many Britons are holidaying at home this year.”
Cut ! Cut ! Now bring in the ethnics, the transexual and the disabled child ….. and action – “Vote Labour !”
Hardcore Tory Supporters Protest- “If the Conference isn’t by the seaside we won’t go!”
Tena Lady Testing Event
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Oi, you lot. Doncha know thaft the Elfin Sayftee Comissariat has banned sand-pits???
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