Another Vegetarian Minister to DEFRA
Hilary Benn is the Secretary of State at DEFRA (the ministry for farm subsidies) where it is a source of continuing annoyance to the British meat industry that he is a vegetarian (worse still in Guido’s view, he doesn’t drink alcohol). This has ruined many photo-ops when the minister at agricultural shows has politely declined to sample offers of British produce.
An angry farmer has contacted Guido about the appointment of Jim Fitzpatrick as minister for food, farming and the environment. Fitzpatrick, a former fire fighter, lists his interests as “anti-poverty, regeneration, anti-racism and fire… West Ham United FC, golf, reading, TV/films and Millwall RFC.” He tells his constituents that: “I am here to promote the East End of London” Hardly the best qualifications for his new rural job. Even worse, the government’s contempt for the countryside is shown once again, by the appointment of yet another vegetarian to DEFRA, who told parliament “the bacon butty would not be for me”. That will please British pig farmers…
ZanuLabour = The enemy within
I always saw a bad bacon butty as the enemy within.
I hope he will swallow my pork sword.
“The bacon butty would not be for me”, Squealer confided to Napoleon.
Trougher Farm, Sick Orwell, 1945.
Mandelblot is the sword swallower and possibly the man pulling Brown’s strings according to this.
http://doverwatch.blogspot.com
Mandleblot is the sword swallower and possibly the man pulling Brown’s strings according to this post from Doverwatch.
http://doverwatch.blogspot.com
From: Rt Hon M Oaten MP
Please find enclosed detailed instructions concerning place, time and stool.
not Halal
do one
you are one.
cretin.
WOOF
I thought linking to a tumbleweed blog was bad form no?
Sorry to post so high up on the Blog and very off topic, but is there a way to contact Guido?
Contact details just to the right of your post…
Are you going to tell him about the secret reptillian plan to take over the world?
Coz I think he already has the full details, in triplicate.
I’m beginning to see what could be meant by the recent “keep it on fukcing topic” post.
Thang is, labour has always represented the urban areas, it’d be quite happy if britain resembled a vast inner-city area, with lots of people who rely entirely on a mechanised system of distribution and in many cases state aid.
So this appointment comes as no real surprise, expect major announcements for millions of new green belt houses in the next year…
We clearly have too much of what makes britain (just about) worth living in, why bother representing the interests of those who live and work in an area that is unlikely to ever vote labour again.
Westminster Arms, seat outside, empty Guinness jars.
That’s not me!
So did I!
Labour are offering real help now to hard working families hit by the global downturn. You are just a troll moaning on the internet.
LABOUR ARE OFFERING REAL HELP NOW.
You’re getting fucking boring now. Just go away.
Which one of us?
agreed.
Tedious to the extreme.
Doubly agreed. So wearisome and puerile.
I’m a paid Labour shill and I’m not very good at it. I am what your taxes are spent on
Hey 460, stop impersonating an impersonator. I’m the real fake, not you.
No, I am Spartacus!
No I am the real Charles E Sandwich
No, I am.
Isn’t that fake help they’re offering?
No,no. It’s Taxpayers’ help, also known as income re-distribution.
Should be called economic destruction not income redistribution, as that’s the effect.
No, it is called steeling, or state sponsored thieving.
Redistributing wealth is not such a bad concept in itself. Any civilized modern society has to do a bit of it. However the problem is that the government is not redistributing money it is simply borrowing cash at interest, then wasting as much as it dare. Or worse deliberately using masses of it to permanently and fatally fuck up EVERYTHING that ever worked. while making even worse that which does not work and never was intended to work. Then selling ourselves and our children into DEBT SLAVERY whether we ourselves have borrowed any cash or not.
This sort of behavior is not moral, should not be legal, and is certainly not going to help anyone, other then poverty creating confidence trick.
As for the countryside.
This government has done much for the countryside to save it from the worst effects of this governments Urban policies.
This by making as sure as they can that it no longer actually produces any food. Therefore when great masses of the population genuinely and inevitably begin to STARVE, they will not bother raiding the countryside to look for any.
For example a meal of worms, maggots, or the odd baked Fox leg, washed down with a little grass and shoe leather soup, is better then chewing Rape Seed any day.
My advice is to keep ones beloved pets firmly indoors, they will have to go in the pot at some point , so it is best they go in yours. Dog, cat, or gerbil cooked the right way can be reasonably tasty. Inevitably this advice will also ultimately extend to young members of the family especially children under five. Don’t feel too bad when sucking little Jonny’s last ribs clean, after all Gordon has already made completely sure they dont have a future worth living, so you are very likely doing them a massive favor. Anyway keeping yourself alive is priority #1. You can always inflict existence on another poor soul later, if indeed you make it that long.
Above all remember DONT PANIC.
There is nothing new about this type of thing. The ruling elites are simply doing their god given job of culling a pointless proportion of the population, so that their beloved wildlife can retain plenty of room to move about and breed.
Also resist the temptation in going all paranoid. These people are not racist, sexist, or ageist. they really don’t care what type of human life they destroy, as long as they destroy as much of it as possible.
One other thing. Please try not to delude yourself into thinking that these people are not just as human as you and me. They are not reptiles and only misguided chumps like David Icke believe they are. No they are not lizards, even though they act like lizards in all important respects, and therefore might as well be as far as their empathy for common humanity is concerned. No the truth is they are simply the ruling class doing possibly the only thing the ruling class know how to do. Which is mass murder, when not engaging in the less mass variety.
I’d forgotten all about that website. For those who don’t want to check for themselves the Real Help that is being offered Now includes raising the pension age for women so they can be unemployed for longer before getting their state pension.
On the upside a barman from Birmingham has started his own dog grooming business so the recovery is well on track.
Is that so that he can have sex with them when they are old enough?
No, no, no, no, no, yes.
Haha that dog-grooming news story stuck in my mind as well.
IIRC it was a (relatively) well-paid engineer at Rover, who ended up grooming dogs for half the money; this was supposed to be a ‘feel good’ success story about reemployment…
Sorry to be boring but I am really p…….d off that I had to pay 39 years contributions, to get a full state pension whilst women from next year only have to pay 30 years contributions.Also as a childless single woman I didn’t get any time off for coffee mornings with the neighbours.You know there is extra help for women who have children, they get credits for child rearing.Well,I’d have liked NI credits for sitting in the garden sipping
a G & T.
But I believe the children are our are future and we should teach them well and let them lead the way. Unless we show them all the beauty they possess inside and give them a sense of pride to make it easier things won’t change. So enhanced NI contribution allowances for mothers let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be.
You don’t hear Whitney wailing about Pimms do you?
But only those ‘hard working families’ that are likely to vote ZaNuLiebore, the rest of the country can go fuck themselves.
I wouldn’t feel too hard done by. Even in Red Tyneside the best help they seem to be offering is an appointment to speak to a slapheaded advisor and training towards work in the public sector.
A teaching assistant and a dog groomer. Things can surely only get better.
Hard-working families x New Labour voters? Is that a joke?
IRB…just what we need; more unproductive drones.
The Manager of the Blandford Forum job centre Plus (only open 3 days a week) recently explained to me that the difference between Job Centre and Job Centre Plus was……….Carpets! FFS
Green carpets Ughh
Tory Troll. You are so obvious, which would be excusable if you were amusing to anyone but yourself.
Real help to lazy arse benefit cheats and claimants may be. There’re not offering help to all of us who go out and work our arses off 40 hours a week and get taxed to fuckery for it.
Whatever you’re taking, please let me have some.
Well said 544
If hard working families didn’t have to pay tax at such punative levels they could employ people to do their house work. That would be a help and provide more employment to boot.
Yep…..we could ship over even more ladies from South America (plus their families of course).
I said to my wife “we should have a french made’ she slapped me and went and bought a volkswagon
“LABOUR ARE OFFERING REAL HELP NOW.”
—————————————————
You mean that the massive injection of money into the widely publicised and over-hyped scheme to help home-owners avoid repossession has managed to help another family?
That means at least THREE families have been helped now then. WOW!
Compared to how many thousand “hard working families” that the labour Government’s OWN wholly owned bank (Northern Rock) have kicked out of their homes now?
LABOUR: REAL HELP NOW (only available to MPs)
TORIES: DO NOTHING (because they are not in government and do not have the power to do anything, DUH!)
‘Real Help’
You mean like the ‘help’ offered (to great headline-grabbing fanfare) to help businesses, that actually gets absorbed by layer upon layer of public sector non-jobs?
I run a small business in the north east of England. The poor taxpayer is milked for billions which are poured into this region via various incentive schemes for business, but I can report from the coal face that bugger all actually gets through.
We were allocated a business ‘advisor’ who occasionally turns up to drink my tea and tell me what grant funding has just run out this week, then departs in his nice fully expensed company car to go and disappoint someone else.
Meanwhile on a smart new business park near here, the ONLY occupied building (the largest on the park) belongs to the local business enterprise QUANGO, delivering nothing and producing nothing.
Utter madness.
You don’t mean “hard working families”, you mean benefit scroungers who live off hard-working people.
Who the heck is this loser? This is comedy site not a political one do you not get that? I don’t come here for opinion on who to vote for, I come here for a laugh at the mind-numbingly incompetent state of the political classes, ALL OF THEM!
The joke here is that we have a veggie in charge of meat production that’s like putting an atheist in charge of the catholic church! What’s next a pacifist in charge of the MOD and a power hungry undemocratic mad man in charge of electoral reform?
Hard working families;
Global downturn;
It started in America (when Obama isn’t listening);
It is the right thing to do;
The do nothing party;
Tory cuts.
Yawn!
Labour are not offering anything – it is the current and future taxpayers who are/will be paying.
How much more interest will the National Debt be a burden on the taxpayer in the years to come when we have a new government with integrity rather than this sleazy shower?
Is it April Fool’s day …again
I really don’t believe that my fellow contributors could be so thick.”it was a (relatively) well-paid engineer at Rover, who ended up grooming dogs for half the money;” Rover – grooming dogs – GOT IT?
And he’s another fucking Jock from Scotchland.
The Penguin
“…another fucking Jock from Scotchland.”
You bastard! How could you say that about the father of my unborn child!
Oh, oh, oh, such bitter sobs of outrage mingled with dejection….
Sorry, I can’t remember the retributive, vehement formula, but all the same I felt something was needed to fill the vendetta void on this blog.
We wouldn’t want to be distracted from the Nazi-Penguin crusade “on the Jewish problem” by formulaic, bogstandard bigotry of such a pedestrian and insecure nature.
Surely you mean another Irish fucking Catholic born in Scotland.
Voted for by the highly intelligent never wrong English.
That’s a good point. We wouldn’t keep sending them if you didn’t keep taking them. We assumed you liked them.
The plot thickens: am I to believe that Muslims are the new Catholics; third-columnists infiltrating their way into our sceptr’d isle and outbreeding the native population into minority status?
Turning an argument against a cultural minority into a ‘scientific’ argument based upon Demographics makes poison so much more palatable to swallow. Hoons.
Agent of Chaos…I think you’ll find the correct term is Fifth Columnists. Are you unfamiliar withour native language?
Talking of birth…..it seems that from April 2009 pregnanat women get a grant of £190 to keep themselves healthy.(Great let’s all go down to KFC,the one in Brixton is always crowded).They then get Sure Start Maternity Grant of £500 plus other things like Child Tax Credit – even if you are unemployed etc etc.Just heard it on Working Lunch.Some plonker on the show boasting about how marvelous all these benefits are. Also remember the £175 a week that gymslip mothers get for childcare.Plus of course all housing benefits.It’s great being a mum innittt……….. djanowotimean????????????
As an “Irish fucking [ex] Catholic” myself. I have a question. Do Paddies go bad if the emigrate to Jockistan first?
I’m being serious here. All the low-life troughing shits who have bogtrotter ancestry all came via Scotchland. Is it something in the water? The lack of sunshine? Vitamin deficiency perhaps?
Warning to Irish parents in Eire – if you want your immigrant children to make you proud, for God’s sake send them straight to Brum, Manc., London or wherever. Under no circumstances let them go to Scotland. They will learn the foul ways of the Lalander and the Gallowglass and shame their decent peasant forebears by, gasp, going into politics.
About time you got on the case of Shahid Malik, Guido.
Too fucking right.
‘Sir Philip said that it was “unfortunate” that Mr Malik had not been able to establish a proper audit trail to support his assertions on rent payments’
Plus the terms of reference did not permit any investigation into expense claims.
What,precisely did that achieve?
Can someone explain why because of religion he has to pay part cash and why he has now agreed to pay by deriect debit instead? I don’t understand.
Ta.
Is it something to do with no cash for questions or no rent for questions or what?
Would it be “unfortunate” that I avoid paying my tax bill next year because I lost my receipts?? Hang the dodgy bastard.
I’ve been on that Huhnes case for days.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/crime/article6477783.ece
Fitzpatrick is a PUSS as it clearly states on his web-site.
The point about trying to comment at the top of the thread, when you have something relevant to say, is that there has been no comment so far about the total lack of understanding about – or sympathy for – the inevitable life of the non-urban areas of this country, and how private property rights are the only way forward.
All you sneerers and hooters and cat-callers on this forum (that includes all the trader-impersonators of Charles Hardwidge) with your witty one-liners relevant or otherwise, have not lifted a finger to publicly shoot or lynch people in the street on your own account, such as Hilary ClintoBenn or this new fascist-lite, whatever his name is, “Jim” it seems.
The rape of British farming, once the powerful and mechanical envy of the world, and the model on which all other successful countries have based their agriculture in default of collectivism and consequent starvation, will continue as long as all the people like you, with loud voices but small resolution, allow it to. You all know that the westmonster bastards in the Labour Party regard “the countryside” as a sort of neo-pastoralist theme park, to be viewed and enjoyed by their “ramblers” at close hand, and their apparatchiks from their helipads and stately homes.
To have such messy, smelly stuff as “farming” or “growing food”, or “land reclamation”, and other nefarious artisanical bits of witchcraft going on in it, is anathema to these Enemy-Class ghouls. Get out there, start hunting the bastards – with dogs if need be, but hunt them do. get them blundering about in the freezing darkness, in the wasteland they have themselves created – and set a few gangs of rural-provincial-town-hoodie-gangs after them too, while you are at it.
If carrots were enfranchised it’d be a different story, David.
My county has a farm so I do care.
Can’t have emergency food sources available to starving proles when Brown achieves the collapse of the pound sterling and hyperinflation takes off, can we now?
The Lib/Lab/Con artists aspire to the Zimbabwe model.
British farming is still in terms of productivity amongst the most efficient in the world, if not THE most, certainly in east anglia (soon to be north sea) and farmers have in effect had to be driven by market forces to survive, smaller farms being bought by larger landholders, becoming major suppliers to supermarkets, all favouring a far more “industrial” scale operation than is ideal, production of food is so very seperated from the vast chains of transport that are needed in this country that it really has become somewhat like the US.
All the botched legislation over the years has favoured this system over others, the EU subsiides are absolutely absurd, leading to “specialist” organic farms that actually are fair less sustainable (massively more diesel needed to till soil for example) than your average (balls) waitrose shoppers suspect. We’re losing lots of habitats, we don’t have any fucking plan for what to do when we start losing major areas to the sea (within our lifetimes), It’s an absolutely shit result to have urbanites who would happily live a lifetime without seeing the countryside dictate farming policy that has an absolutely unprecedented level of impact on the UK.
David, doesn’t most of the population think that farming life is how it is portrayed on BBC’s “The Archers” and “Farming Today”? Why doesn’t the influential Countryside Alliance prevent the “rape” of farming? What about the printed media: do they have to portray farming as a cross between a dating agency and the rural version of Interiors? How can any of us hoi polloi make things better, given that most of us hear about farming only when there is a disease outbreak or we read a statistic about farmers committing suicide.
(1) Abolish the BBC,
(2) Close down DEFRA,
(3) get governments out of farmingness,
(4) Sack all the children’s picture-story-book-writers for primary-schools with names like “Jan” who live in mid-Wales (and who therefore ought to know better) and who depict farmers as owning a few of this and that animal, with grinning red faces (and that’s just the animals) and who grow “corn” too, and who have a little red 1940s tractor with a smokestack…
Sounds good to me, David. Where do we sign/march/whatever to make it happen in the next 12 months?
I don’t know, Indigo.
Get sdome journos onto it maybe? You know, like the enemy class always does – only different ones, ones with brains and science degrees from (preferably) Chindian Universities.
(yes I am a Huhne / no I am not Nu Labour) says:
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
June 11, 2009 at 9:23 am
Bull5hit argument.
Should the transport minister drive a Hummer?
Should the defence secretary own guns?
Should the chancel1or faddle his expenses?
Should the prime minister pick his nose?
No, no, no, no.
Reply
There’s a message on the bog-in-the-park-3rd-cubical-along-wall, for Jim Fitzpatrick round my way. It reads, “Patrick FitzJim wishes to meet Jim Fitzpatrick for knob fun and pub outings (really – it’s true).
If McBroon wants to know how to hold on to power he should have a conversation with Robert Mugabe.
Didn’t you realise Mugabe is now taking lessons from Brown?
and he’s seriously considering becoming vegetarian
Brown would confiscate all farms and burn them and starve us all into submission .
He’s completely mad you know.
That’s why they had the Foot And Mouth outbreaks, trial run.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/crime/article6477783.ece
Bloke looks and sounds like a right proper cnut
Agreed, the man is a grade A wanker who should be shot.
Bet you dont have the guts to say that anywhere except an internet chatroom.
Now that’d be a first.
Whether Right-wing social engineer has the guts to say what he did anywhere except on here isn’t really the issue for me.
It is the fact that free speech no longer exists in our country and that it is risky to say what you really feel for fear of the PC Brigade; especially where race, homosexuality or anything that can be loosely regarded as anti-Islam is concerned. Remember the furore following Carol Thatcher’s comment about golliwogs from pond life such as Jo Brand?
That aside, Throbber is correct and I think Hilary Benn falls into the same classification!
It’s tame to some of the stuff one hears down the pub.
You mean the Boy Named Hilary should be shot? Hear, hear!
I must admit to not having known who Benn was, so, having searched for a picture all my hesitation to assign a sex to this person is removed.
Saying that, Number 38 and 145′s comments are appallingly insensitive and harmful, Benn is obviously a woman.
All extremists should be shot
Intolerance will NOT be tolerated.
Labour have no right to any presence at all in the countryside of England. Send this joker back to the East End dump that he sprang from.
What’s a pub, No Longer Anonymous (201)??
Are you American?
Well said. He looks like a rodent.
I’d set my terrier on him.
Ha ha No Longer Anon (254) – I’m not American – I have English written right through me. It’s just that we’re losing ‘pubs’ so fast round here that I’d forgotten what one was….sigh.
Woof!
I’ll bet you would teach him his arse from his elbow
Not had anything to do with Jim for a good few years now (I crossed the floor as a Newham Labour councillor to the Tories in 2005).
I was his election agent in 2001… he’s a decent enough bloke and I’m sure he’ll give the post his best shot, although I agree it’s not a post I’d think of putting him in.
And he most definitely is a drinker!
Errr…. So wot do these dudes in charge of our farming industry actually know about farming?
Its not about knowing anything about anything in particular, its about getting a job (any job) on the next rung up. None of them could give a toss.
Move Malik to Defence. Just for a laugh.
A bit like when Gordon pretended to know about Hi finance & banking when he was chancellor then?
Or a Home Secretary who aspires to box rooms
Or a Leader of the Opposition who keeps missing an open goal at Prime Ministers Questions while pretending he’ll give a referendum over Lisbon.
Or a Chancellor of the Exchequer who needs help filling in his Tax Return ( for which he bills us, the Taxpayers ) ?
Or an ex-Europe minister who doesn’t want to be seen as a sex object (just as well, really).
Or a political party that is only interested in out of work estranged ethnically diverse lesbian mothers with socialist trades union tendencies.
Andy burnham looks well out of his depth as health minister
Still hasn’t learned the difference between profit and loss yet.
They know nothing.
They are about to re-license aminopyralid, a herbicide which persists in manure and has destroyed every single one of my vegetable beds and allotments all over the country — for a year. I’d have been better off if I’d sprayed with Roundup at least it wouldn’t be in the soil. It persists in the the ground water too.
OT They are killing off homestead farming in the USA, making it illegal to grow your own. Seriously.
Yep, that’s a perfect policy. The bio-tech industries need the current crops destroyed, and the seeds wiped out, so they can sell their one use crop seeds annually and make a huge profit.
Now the question is: how much are bio-tech industries paying this Government in donations for this policy.
You have vegetable beds and allotments all over the country? You must be an MP!
Have you got a web source about the re-licensing of this poison?
(…the sound of one hand laughing…)
Actually that is a brill idea.Malik in Defence.How would he pacify his brother Muslims?
Errr Muslim brothers
You mean the Muslim Brotherhood
Yes please – then he’d have to visit the British army trying to kill his co-religionists in Afghanistan. – priceless!
Lets have a real laugh, Move him to Homeland Security.
It’s just his Buggins Turn and this is what he drew out of the cyclops jobs hat.
There’s no more Liebour MPs left who haven’t already had a go as a member of this alleged “government” and screwed it up so badly/been caught with their trousers open/hand in the till, etc and have had to resign/been sacked. See Hain and Mandlebum as the prime examples.
Mark my words, Five-bellies Smith will be back sometime soon… just after Blunkett.
If they haven’t personally slaughtered a few beasts with their own bare hands then they have no business lecturing farmers in DEFRA.
I’m given to believe John Gummer used to personally bring a large Heffer to it’s knees every morning.
Or at least I think that’s what he said.
Very garbled conversation from the excitable little man.
Presumably Simon Heffer, that explains why he’s so bitter
The only large heifer I’ve brought to its knees was the missus.
I wouldn’t mind bringing that Flint Heifer to her knees every morning!
She has been bred from so that makes her a cow.
At least Gummer lived in the countryside, represented a rural area and had his own animals. In short he understood the community he represented.
Fitzpatrick has no idea.
Bollocks!
Why on earth wouldn’t a vegetarian, Glaswegian public-sector trade-unionist, with two large pensions already in the bank, be perfectly positioned to understand and represent the hard-working, entrepreneurial folk of the multi-cultural East End of London? And then the folk in the countryside too (wherever that is)?
“What’s good for the goose is good for the gander” (NVQ rural studies syllabus, (c) ZanuLabour, 2009)
What’s good for the goosa is good for the gender
would that be jackie spliff then?
If he’s MP for the East End of London, fair enough that he should promote it.Brown just needs to appoint a different Minister – one who knows something about the subject of his Ministry. Otherwise its square pegs in round holes – oops, I can see the attraction of that for Gordon.
Gordon has a square cock?!
So he DOES have a cock then??
Probably but no balls.
The answer to your first question is maybe, Sarah says some men have one and some don’t, so it’s no cause for me to be ashamed. Peter says I do, but it’s so wee it’s best if we use his.
But I’m sure I have a Presbyterian, son-of-a-manse compass, now, where in the name of Michael Martin’s lower colon did I effing put it?
“Gordon powerless as Darling beats Balls”
What next….John Prescott as Minister for Women?
From what I gather his aim is Minister to Women.
No, its Assistant Deputy Minister to Women, administer for short
He’s too busy coming fourth.
At least the last Tory who did the farming top job went to agricultural shows and publicly fed his children with Mad Cow burgers.
He had the last laugh though. No damage done!
MOOOOOOOOO HAH HAH HAH HA MOOOOOO HAH HAHA HAH HA HAH
….ah but she didn’t actually eat it, did she.
You’d think with a name like “Gummer” he’d have chosen to keep out of the media altogether.
The Penguin
“Gummer”=blow job off an OAP.
In 1997, a UK research group predicted that up to 10 million people could die from the devastating disease. Remind me again how many people have actually contracted vCJD since it was identified in 1996?
Fear by smear…just like MMR!
I think it hovers around the 14 deaths per year mark. Less than two day’s worth on the roads.
Priorities, eh?
Mad cow, pig flu, chicken flu, fucking SARS, blah blah. Global Warming is the only one that the establishment will keep stuffing down our throats as they can tax us on that one. I will not be responsible for my actions when the next little Huhne in a hi vis vest with Greepeace/save the cows/plant Huhne asks me to sign a petition against global warming.
Global warming may be happening but its nothing to do with man or woman or cows farting: It’s cyclical and remember that before the big freeze Romans in England grew grapes and wore togas and sandals. It was very warm. It is caused by sun spots and no amount of tax can stop it.
With average global temperatures falling over the last 10 years, I begin to worry that the next scare tactic will be a New Ice Age worry. And then of course we also have to worry about the dangers posed by Mars (I do not refer to obesity)!
Well the environmentalist doomsayers are certainly cyclical –
Since the end of the pocket ice-age in 1850 (environmentalists forget to mention this – comparing effectively winter with summer to spot a temperature change).
In the 1930s Global Ice Age – we’re all going to die!
In the 1950s Global Warming – we’re all going to die!
In the 1970s Global Ice Age – we’re all going to die!
In the 1990s Global Warming – we’re all going to die!
From the front covers of New York Times! You can’t make it up!
Keep an eye on the NASA GISS – every so often the hottest year gets changed to some year recently until scientists work out the statistics used, and prove it’s still 1934! (We’re on attempt 4 now!)
Their 3rd hottest year is 1921.
Green issues – only agreed by 2% of the scientists – despite what the BBC and other gossip columns tell you! Start with the question – what’s a global average temperature, when Siberia is -60C and Lut Desert Iran 70.7C, these also depends on time of day, and day in the year!
Global Warming is due to miscalculated temperature readings not accounting for the time of day!
For complete demolition of the global warming scam look up the Heartland Institute conference in NY in March. Scandalously, this was deliberately ignored by the BBC and all the national dailies except the Telegraph. Around 700 delegates took apart the Al Bore argument under the heading “Global Warming: Was It Ever A Crisis?”
Professor R Lindzen of MIT, arguably the world’s most distinguished climatologist, says the global warming argument has been hyped up for political (ie taxation) reasons and no longer has any relation to genuine scientific evidence. If present trends continue, the world will be 1.1C COOLER by 2100 than it was between 1979-1998. Sea levels are NOT shooting up, but are maintaining the 3mm annual rise seen over the last 200 years!!
is global warming happening – don’t know is the honest answer.
Are we being held to ransom for our energy needs by middle east and russian companies that you wouldn’t trust to tell you the time -yes.
For that reason we should de-carbonise our energy – so we can tell these fuckers to fuck off
Just like the PR from the AGW Grant Industry.
Repent sinners, cast away ye fridges, and ye cheap carbon producing holidays to Spain. Allow more room in the heavens for me, Bono and Zac Goldsmith, as we jet around the globe to save the globe.
Thus sayeth the word of the Gore.
Be merciful! Who shall feed and clothe my young ones if salaried work for me were to dry up?
The Independent also published a government advisory crowd’s claim that 0ne in five deaths would be caused by AIDS. I guess that is why it sells so well!
And Global warming.
Cunit.
Parliament is a pig farm.
No, pig farms are productive of this people want, like bacon and pork. Parliament just produces hot air and sleaze, and lets the government fuck everything up.
The Penguin
“Fire” as a political interest? A commission must be set up to establish how “fire” is dealt with in society and to ensure that there is at all times full inclusion for people of all creeds and races where “fire” is concerned. I sincerely believe that the rich in society should not always enjoy the best fires and that the poorer elements of society should receive proper protection, counselling and awareness training when they set old cars alight on sink estates. Regarding the latter there should be a further commission set up to investigate the green issues involved and whether the sustainability of random weekend “fire” related activities amongst those most in need can be assured. Can I join the cabinet now please (my current profit related activities in a mixed economy proving less sustainable than hoped for)?
Some people think it could be christmas every day. Some people wish it could be november 5th every day. Theres a long word for it
Anti-constitutional
Anti-constitutional = Titanic tuna snot oil
Miss Anna Grammer
Brill !!
I didn’t get my name for nothing
No, he collects fire. He’s well known in fire collecting circles as having the finest collection of fires which have occurred in the engine bays of Hillman Avengers built between 1976 and 1978.
It is not that unusual. Bob Marshall Andrews collects smells and Derek Conway has a keen interest in collecting that slightly wistful feeling you get when looking at old school photographs.
Jonah collects farts. He has a Cabinet full of them.
The Penguin
I thought we had agreed it was a Cabinet of Turkeys despite a school teacher who once told me it was a Pride of Lions and a Rafter of Turkeys.
Sorry, I can’t remember the retributive, vehement formula, but all the same I felt something was needed to fill the vendetta void on this blog.
Sorry, I can’t remember the retributive, vehement formula, but all the same I felt something was needed to fill the vendetta void on this blog.
Pseud alert
Mandelson collects bank notes. Of course some of them have to be laundered first since they’ve been handled by dodgy Russian mafia types.
As for ‘fire’ as an interest should someone perhaps mention this in passing to the police? Would hate for Guido to get the blame yet again for someone trying to torch the HoP, while al the while it was some nasty little brownite
Well, these bishoprics don’t buy themselves, do they?
I’d like to both fire all the Nu Labour mob, and set fire to all the Nu Labour mob.
I’m just writing my application for research funding explaining that this obviously has huge social implications and unlimited potential for improving the country. Not sure if I can get a patent for the Nu Labour Fire Engine, guarenteed to burn a Nu Labour member to ashes with a full 24 agonising hours of screaming. (A full day of fun for ALL the family).
I suspect there’s a green issue involved with the possibility of too much gas emissions! Definitely the subject of my next research paper – The Green Fire Engine!
How can you be “interested” in “anti-poverty”? What does that actually entail?
Or does it just look good on the CV like a budding Miss World loves sick children and is kind to animals?
Pretty much for the CV, Doctor M.
And I just can’t see young Benn preening in a bikini.
What would happen if MPs, given some truth drug, had to put down their real interests?
Hillary Benn (‘real’ interests): watching TV, making models of great buildings of of recycled bottle caps, ferret-breeding, online poker, lesbian biker porn…….
Boy Named Hilary Benn. Real interest: protecting his “left wing” family’s wealth from the Revenue. Look up the not-inconsiderable sum old Wedgie “Don’t call me Lord Stansgate’s” late American wife brought to the party, in the days when a buck really was worth a dollar. Stansgate Senior tries to deny it, but in reality it undermines most of the “I care deeply about the working man” hot air that’s come from his ever-flapping mouth over the last 60 years. Boy Named Hilary’s footwork to minimise the Benn’s inheritance tax bill has hit the national press in recent months.
After all Big Ben’s socialist sneering at the hereditary principle, it must be embarrassing for him that it happens to be his son who is most suitable to become a NuLab Cabinet Minister out of all the people in England.
Used to drink with a member of the Wedgwood family back when dinosaurs stalked the Square Mile. Quaffing partner was always scathing of the Benn branch of their family. Said they treated their staff like shit. Particularly detested distant cousin Anthony described as “Willing to skin a turd for a ha’penny”
You are right- the house where “man of the people” ex Lord Stansgate, now Wedgie-Benn lives is in Holland Park and veritably palatial. Near neighbours include Sir Richard Branson. Regarding his son Hillary Benn, it’s strange isnt it- if you were to line him up with 9 other normal carnivores and ask anybody to identify the vegetarian, most would unerringly point to the purse lipped, dessicated body of Benn junior. Another sanctimonious rich, hypocritical socialist who enjoys bossing others around under his so called socialist beliefs.
Yes indeed, the hypocrisy is rife within the Benns. What about the coastal footpath diverted to avoid having plebs walking past their farm in Essex?
The Penguin
lesbian biker porn I can believe, but the pitter patter of tiny ferret kits are unlikely to disturb the peace of benn towers -( thats the only place on the Blackwater Estury where the public are completely banned from access by the way).
But banned in an equal non-access way that does not discrimanate against any of the lower orders disturbing the tranquil peace of the Benn’s socialist paradise.
… strictly in a loving non-pro-poverty way of course. Naturally the closing off that section of the public’s right of way tot he Blackwater Estuary was necessitated by concern that members of the public would not enjoy having to look backwards from the seaview and see the opulent residence of Viscount Stansgate and his family, all paid for by the taxpayer.
“Poverty in the UK”: where a child only has a Playstation 2 instead of 3
Gordon Brown is a great man and his party has done amazing things for the poor and you are just a nasty Tory troll trying to stir up trouble. If shallow salesman Cameron is the best the Tories can offer then Labour are bound to win a fourth term!
I really must ask if the name Belinda means anything to you.
Speaking of Trolls..
Gordon Brown is a great CLINT
Not great enough to see the property bubble, banking fuck up or MPs expense fiddle, till it hit him. Fucking hopeless.
IRB…I think you may be correct. It does seem very Belinda like…
Gordon is hot.
He makes nice gin, too!
Purchased with state handouts.
Nulabour redefined poverty, it is now a relative rather than an absolute state.
If everyone has Bentleys and you only have a BMW 7 series, then you are in poverty.
Many current and former Labour ministers are interested in ‘anti-poverty’.
Hoon, Balls, Malik, Smith, Blears, Darling, Copper, Mandelson etc.
Anti-poverty courses through the veins of the Labour party.
Their own, personal anti-poverty.
Sleaze is in our D-N-A
It’s a misprint and should read “Aunty Poverty”. He’ll be declaring her outside bog as his second community outreach surgery space for expenses purposes.
It’s to do with a degree on ‘How to live in luxury while claiming maximum benefits
A cabinet of all the talents
Just not necessarily in that order
Shouldn’t that be ‘A Cabinet of None of the Talents’?
Less a cabinet and more a wet paper bag
A Closet of No Talents.
Definitely closet, not cabinet.
So when is Gordon going to come out ?
Gordon will come out of the closet when David Carradine does.
I am no apologist for DEFRA, but be fair – farms also produce vegetables!
Not half as many as this government…
So does the Labour party.
If we all ate vegetables the world wouldn’t come to an end because of farting cows.
No. I don’t believe it either.
Haven’t you had baked beans recently
I am in love with Peter Mandelson.
So am I.
So am I , I am delightful.
Aren’t we all…
So am I
So, that’s why thye put a vegetable in charge
since Gordon’s amazingly good value reshuffle, they’re sprouting up all over the place
Don’t forget that farms also produce fruits.
Ah, so that’s why Flint left the cabinet, she’s a stone in the midst of veggies – and could spot the odd one out!
They all look squishy and sad though Too much Brown manure
Vegetables have feeling too!
Become a fruitarian, stop murdering carrots!
I hear Nick Griffin has asked to sit on the Jewish External Affairs Committee for Europe.
He must be moderating his views then Typical Once elected they’re all the same
But why is this a surprise ?? Labour don’t give a fuck about farmers and the countryside…
Labour don’t give a fuck about the whole country.
It does give a fuck about Scotland though.
No it doesn’t.
It hates Scotland.
Gordon Brown told Obama Beach he was North British.
Labour fucked the whole Country.
At least neither of them will be on the telly forcefeeding small children with beefburgers.
John Gummer will never shake that one off Wonder if his daughter is still alive?
I hope so and whilst tory is not my flavour this month at least he stood up for British Burqers for British burqer eaters
I prefer Brazilian buggers myself. So much tastier.
Judging by all the fat fucks in this country they don’t need force feeding “beef” burgers. Stop knocking the farmers they produce the good stuff. Other people promote “dino bites, turkey twizzlers ” and all that other shit people feed their kids.
Yep, she’s in the bottom paddock today.
yeah, I often wonder if the thousands of people who eat McDonald’s every day are actually still alive too
‘Second thoughts, a vegetarian agroculturel minster is not bad as it goesed
Alive, but sadly brain dead.
He said it was all bollox and he was right
Perhaps the minister for farm subsidies SHOULD be a vegetarian and an urbanite.
I think someone who’s never had dirty wellies (and can’t speak french) should be incharge of the reform the CAP too.
Utter disgrace! It’s comparable to Eddie Royal MP for Arts and Culture
Isn’t he already?
Mr Tie,
You covered in SNOT again?
Why do you look so cheap?
And why are you tied in a granny knot?
Who ties you?
If you are reading this Mr Jim Fitzpatrick, can I say that you sound like a right wanker?
What I have gleaned from his bloody awful website:
Born in Glasgow eh? Well, there’s a surprise.
“I aspired to be a professional politician in the way that other boys aspired to be professional footballers.” What a weird kid you must have been.
Well there’s easy money in both. Football involves skillful ball control wheras politics invariably involves balls-ups. Ed
You taking the Michael, mate?
“I aspired to be a professional politician in the way that other boys aspired to be professional footballers.” What a weird kid you must have been.
In other words he had a personality disorder from childhood like his esteemed boss.
Yep, I aspired to never have a real job! The real world experience was not for me. I wanted to ruin peoples lives, without ever knowing what it is to have a life!
He’s probably rubbish at football too!
…and probably no f*cking good as a fireman, either.
that’s strange. The UK didn’t have professional politicians when he were a wee lad;
he’s an illegal immigrant !
I hope he doesn’t try to go to Charlie’s place. Somewhere in Cornwall I think
And if you are reading this Mr. Jim Fitzpatrick I AM THE GOD OF HELL FIRE
Of course Hitler was a vegetarian and suffered from notorious bad breath as a result.
It must really honk in the bunker these days.
Yes, it stinks of nepotism, cronyism, authoritarian and downright deceit too
Hitler was not a vegetarian, that is an urban myth. Contemporary accounts describe him having a fondness for sausages, squab, liver dumplings and ham.
Evidently you were a frequent dinner guest!
Taht may be so but sourkrauts are still a pain the arse
Hitlers favourite meal was rabbit pie. The reason he didn’t eat much meat was because it gave him the shits….if I remember my QI book correctly ?
Your right, it does honk something awful.
With Mandy and Miliblink farting about . Non stop.
Tractor production minister
Unfortunately Max, any Labour Trolls reading your comments are probably positively orgasmic – ‘there’s a chap who understands how things should be done under benevolent Stasi Dictatorships everywhere’ – and are busily forwarding your details to Gordon even as I write this. It really is that bad with this bunch of no hopers.
Don’t worry, Max’s details will never reach McBust because someone will lose the data along the way.
My tax accountant is now down to a final strategy that greatly relies upon my data having been lost. I must stop commenting; he’ll pull his hair out when he reads this. There you go David, mentioned on Guido’s; any letters for me down at Oxford Street?
Proof again, if it were ever needed of this Governments complete antipathy toward the rural and farming communities.
They don’t just pretend not to understand us, they fucking hate us. Simple maths really – just look at a political map of the country. All them empty bits are coloured blue; the countryside is only good for ramblers rights and Beckett second homes.
Pubs, fuel costs, local transport, small businesses, farming issues, housing, small village schools etc etc They’ve shafted us left, right and centre.
If Brown had his way he’d fucking get rid of DEFRA – what use is the countryside to the Metropolitan, London-centric elite?
DEFRA? It gives Brown the opportunity to find new ways to bully those people who are extremely unlikey to have ever voted for him & his bunch of incompetents.
Illegal immigrants have got to live somewhere, build over it all.
But not Scottish countryside obviously.
That’s just hit the nail on the head. Concrete over England’s green and pleasant land to house the non-stop influx.
Placing severe limits on immigration should not be about racism at all. It’s simple maths. The more land we concrete and tarmac over, the less land we have for growing food. Classing allotments as brownfield sites ripe for development is nothing short of criminal.
So much for sustainability. These ZaNuLabour twats just don’t get it at all.
We can only grow 60% of what we need as a nation. The rest is imported. The Optimum Population Trust stated that 30 million was the limit for Britain’s land area. NuLab have stoked the the number to 60 million by jamming a quart in to a pint pot.
Still, if your voter demographic is urban dwelling working class and ethnic minorities, who needs farming folk?
DEFRA = Department for the Elimination of Farming and Regional Agriculture.
What sort of Veggie is he? Will he eat eggs, fish and dairy or is he from the planet Vega?
We can’t even do that anymore — google aminopyralid.
DEFRA = Destroy Everything and Fvcking Run Away
About sums up this government of all the tossers.
Vega’s a star, not a planet.
I’m a vegetarian. People seem to feel threatened by this.
We’re not threatened, we just think you’re a poofter.
Post Offices, small shops, local Pubs went out of business because you shits go to the supermarkets. Houses were sold by the farmers because they use less workers, fuck all to do with any Government, blame yourselves. You shafted your fucking selves, wake up!
No RP, the smoking ban, drink drive laws, high duty on drinks and cheap booze from the continent stuck the boot in to many rural pubs.
Post offices could have been kept going but ZaNuLabour stopped certain services such as road tax and TV licences and that has helped to make them wither on the vine.
Labour has also relaxed the planning laws so that the supermarket you complain about is most probably built on a playing field or green belt.
Very good point. Supermarkets only tend to stock the modern equivalent of Soylent Green. Plus it’s a myth that you always get it cheaper at a supermarket.
Still, the supermarkets haven’t helped by bullying the farmers and suppliers in a way that could only be considered treasonable.
Gordon Brown and his Labour cohorts are quite happy to let the fat masses of Zanulabour eat themselves to a disability benefit. Easier to control. Didn’t Homer Simpson achieve something similar so he could work from home?
Yes, but Brown and co’s mates are the bosses of the major supermarkets.
Lord Sainsbury’s anyone? Tesco’s Bored of Directors decided to branch out into parliament. (Probably ‘cos there’s no Tesco in Parliament square!).
I love the fact this government is anti-McDonalds – but never mention the fact that among the worst foods available come straight from the shelves of the supermarkets!
Actually it should be FEWER workers not LESS workers.
“Fewer” describes or qualifies numbers; “less” describes or qualifies quantity.
Ignoramus!
These are the sort of people who would make Yeoman Warders into Quicheeaters. Keep little record books with data and observations on their fecal material.
I’m surprise they havn’t shoved Malik into DEFRA… should make for some interesting views on how our farming industry slaughter animals!
Give it another month…
So, Pork’s off then? Maybe I’ll try some of the Goat.
Will Malik last the day? See today’s Tel, some very odd rental arrangements. Could be the shortest appointment ever?
Hope he is sacked, but I doubt it.
The Penguin
Need to see if Brown finds his behaviour ‘totally unacceptable’.
You are without doubt islamaphobic, not that Mr Malik has ever mentioned his ‘religion’ or anything like that at all he is a hard working Labour man of the people. He will never mention his religion even when he is kicked out and screams that it is islamaphobes like you behind his removal will he even mention the fact that he is a muslim, why he even had a nice England cross of St George mug (empty if you view the pics) in full view of the press when he was grilled about his last ‘property mistakes.’ What more proof of his loyalty and love of this fine country do you want.
Too right you are. Islamophobia that’s what it is. It was never about my arrant, enormous and barefaced parliamentary fraud of the public purse. Clear off infidel cretins!
That’s right he’s never mentioned his religion. Go to you tube and type in “Sahid Malik Speech” there’s a few there that should answer that one.
If he is will pork be back on the menu?
Wait till the red faced, fat fingered farmers get hold of him.
What makes you think he’ll actually go out to meet and greet
Bunker politics demand safe concrete structures, impermeable to comments
Another fucking Scotch lobotomised chimp, in place only for his ability to stomach the foul stench of flatulence, and fear in McDoom’s increasingly hermetically sealed bunker.
England needs saving from these Celtic vermin, who clearly despise England and it’s wealth creators.
Quite right .
That’s why they told Brown to fuck off most vocally at the Euro Elections.
Trouble is – he’s still here, wreaking his havoc. If two election wipe-outs and 11 ministers a-walking didn’t do the trick then I genuinely fear for the outcome of the next GE.
You are right to be very troubled I fear.
The Tories cant break through in a game finishing fashion, so I think the result will be a hung Parliament, and Clegg to gain some immensely damaging cncessions on electoral reform as the price for his collaboration.
However it might be good for the Tories over the next ten years if the Labour vermin have to break their contract with it’s client state.
The professional benefits scroungers, the local government paper shufflers, and the two million scum who pretend to be unfit for work.
AND the C8nt’s a Spanner. West Ham ’til I die?
Make my day sunshine.
Another member of the Scottish Mafia. Born and raised in Glasgow he was a member of the Socialist Workers Party and trades union militant.
George Galloway plans to stand against him at the next GE, so London Eastenders will be represented by a Jock for some time to come yet – unless they come to their senses.
I am voting for George.
We’ve had twelve years of being ‘governed’ by Jocks and look at the outcome !!
At least we might only have to wait < eleven more months.
It’s up to the farmers, a few well publicised marches and Brown will cave in.
perhaps some truck full of animal shit deposited outside Drowning Strasse
Piss off.
Too used to the smell of Palrliament’s daily bull manure – wouldn’t even notice it!
Hey. I think this is the last straw. Let’s support the farmers in combined protests. Lets sort out the wheat and chaff in politicians. Enough of this bullshit I’m pig sick of the udder contempt Brown has for this Country
…milking us too. They are having a yolk at our expense
Broon will just plough on in his lonely furrow – with the troughers trying to make hay while the sun still shines
Corny puns (and puny conts for that matter) are unwelcome !!
Don’t insult us you fallow shallot. I came here to muck rake with guido forks
Sorry, this is O/T, but NuLiebour are at it again, trying to intrude upon, and control, every tiny aspect of our lives. Their latest wheeze? To suggest (smear?) those parents who educate their children at home as child abusers, in the hope that they can persuade society to go along with their plan to unleash the dogs of OFSTED upon them. I venture to suggest that the majority of those children who are educated at home are better off than those at your ‘bog-standard comprehensive’.
Are there no depths to which this grubby bunch of incompetent control freaks will not stoop? (Sorry, I think I know the answer to that one.)
Nope. And they’re not incompetent. They’re marxist scum, working to plan. Exact same operating procedure as takeover of Russia. Children denouncing racist, homophobic parents just round the corner. The State is all. Just remember that these Communist cocksuckers reduced the Tsarist-era population by half by the time they were finished murdering, raping, starving and torturing millions to death. Think it can’t happen in ‘progressive’, ‘non-violent’ 2009 UK? Dream on.
I would like to think that they are able to think up a good conspiracy, but I concluded long ago that everything this squalid little government does is just a series of cock-ups.
Hugh, they think up squat; they act to orders. These chimps are not the real power. They are chosen as they are identified early on as psychopaths, like Blair and Brown, willing to rain munitions on old men, women and children without a flicker of conscience. This selecting is backed up by blackmail, hence why there are so many ‘unorthodox’ persons in leading offices of state. Just remember that Operation Ore apparently ran into the sand and Dunblane had its files sealed for generations.
Just a series of cock-ups ? I don’t think so.
The trend is relentlessly on the road to hell.
Just how much circumstantial evidence does it take before it becomes irrefutable ?
Spot On.
I re-read Orwell’s 1984 yesterday – frightening.
How can we be rid of these scum?
1984 will be placed on the banned literature list soon. It can join the ranks of Three Little Pigs.
What’s the betting that Labour’s tagline for the General Election will be “Double Plus Good”?
East Lancashire Telegraph 8 June reports 10 and 11 yrs olds are being shown police safety video which includes what to do if they hear anyone express “extremist views.”
Parents will be well advised not to shout at the telly in hearing of their children …?
I heard that too – still it’s par for the course isn’t it – don’t want to live in Lahor-lite = racist, don’t like being snooped on = something to hide, don’t want bog standard education = paedophile.
All the kids I know who are home schooled are really great/well behaved because their parents really care for them and don’t treat school as a free creche.
Thing is that these children might be abused. Why else wouldn’t they be sent to school? A registration scheme would just make sure that no one did anything wrong. After all, just look at the success of the register of children at risk. Once a child is on that you have the state’s cast iron guarantee that no further harm will come to them.
Stunningly in depth analysis of the situation on Toady this morning, BTW.
If they are “registered” then nobody could do anything wrong? Baby P was registered and somehow he got beaten to death under the noses of the social workers and the police.
Saved & protected by the State like Victoria Climbe & Baby Peter Conolly?
How could they do any wrong knowing that at any time the full force of the local authority would come crashing through the front door? The knowledge that at any moment a 17 year old Skillseeker from the council’s education department might call would keep me in check.
What is most depressing was that all through Toady’s report they continually refferred to the fear that home educated children might be abused. At no point did anyone present anything as silly as “evidence” for this belief. Good old BBC.
Of course Gordon Brown gets to keep his children’s names off the Register of Children. It’s only to be used to frame Tory voters.
217, 238, your sarcasm detectors appear to be faulty.
Despite the evidence of Ian Huntley school caretaker, and this latest woman running a kiddy porn business from her Nursery school.
Heres’ a depth they wont stoop – well, not without help –
Middle of the Atlantic with concrete flippers.
At the same time that Toady program was promoting this anti-home-schooling agenda, it was announcing the charging of a woman for kiddie porn. The irony is grand, in the sense of grotesque.
Zanuliebore know there is no evidence that parents who educate their children at home are more likely to commit child abuse than parents sending their kiddies to school. Their research says so. Continued belief exposes that as a prejudice – Prejudice #1. At the same time the kiddie charge porn exposes zanuliebore’s conviction that kiddie porn is what men, and men only, do – Prejudice #2. How ironic that the reality on the ground demonstrates to parents that if they want to avoid their kids being interfered with, they would do well to avoid educational establishments.
The arrest and charge, coming soon after the departure of Five Bellies, and her special commitment to “the sistas”, raises some fascinating questions. For how long was Knacker investigating the woman before arresting her? Was Five Bellies ever informed of Knacker’s enquiries? Was Knacker ever given to think that Five Bellies could be in the know?
I got an unsolicited e-mail from a real plonker I was college with.He was boasting that he was an OFSTED inspector. He was the biggest d…….h….d I have ever met. My experience of OFSTED is that they are a bunch of charmless twots.
I can assure you that home tuition is far superior to school based learning.Having been a classroom teacher and a home tutor I know I’d have chosen to have any of my children (I didn’t) educated at home. Classrooms today (senior school) are like battle zones.Where I worked there was a sigh of relief when certain pupils were absent.Even eight in a class was sometimes unmanageable.I’m not some middle class shrinking violet.I come from an incredibly deprived area of west London.But even I am shocked at the lack of discipline/learning in schools now. Pupils from chaotic backgrounds bring their huge problems to school,they are unable to leave them at the school gate.When you see their parents you understand. Decent hardworking children don’t stand a chance.
Rock bottom appointment. Pathetic. Haven’t Labour got an MP from the Huhneryside…..er, can’t think of one.Is there one? Does Fitzpatrick know where the Huhneryside is?
He thinks the hoonryside is those weeds between the paving stones. Seen a few knows it all!
This little piggy didn’t go to the market.
This little piggy stayed in his second home.
This little piggy had spit roast,
This little piggy had none.
And this little piggy cried “Wee! Wee! Wee!” all the way to Westminster.
Pew, Pew, Fitzpatrick, McGrew
Cuthbert, Dibble and Benn
Bring on the Prodigy
How can this Glaswegian git ‘promote the East End of London’? Shouldn’t this job be done by an East Ender, rather than a complete Knob Ender?
And Millwall, for fuck’s sake? What does he know of its noble culture and traditions? Mind you, if he’s from the Gorbals he might know something of stabbings and football violence, so that’s a start.
Does anyone for nano second believe a Scottish constituency in Glasgow would put up with some cockney from Millwall being their MP?
But apparently the English have to put up with any old shit dumped on them by Labour.
He looks Celtic through and through.
Oi Anon! That’s racism!! You gotta have the MP you’re given by the party. If you don’t like it we’ll label you a xenophobic racist.*
* A Doctor writes: Xenophobic Racism (or to give it its latin name- Hatejonnyforrineritis) is a painful complaint but thankfully only restricted to the “Ethnic English”. Anyone found to be suiffering from this sad disease may be shunned by polite society and will need psychiatric help from your local Marxist counsellor. In these circumstances, there is a reasonable chance of a full recovery.
What? For the Marxist counsellor?
The Marxist counsellor will never take the medications. Are they what we are euphemised with Care in the Community?
I used to read your story in The Victor, Alf!
“Alf Tupper, the Tough of the Track!”
His CV says Millwall RFC i.e. Rugby Football Club) so maybe he is only 90% hoon.
I was in the CLP at the time of Jim’s selection… the alternatives were dire.
I am very happy in my job.
Unlike his indoors!
By indoors do you mean your front bottom?
Well at least DEFRA is one government department that does what it says,
D epartment for the E limination of F arming and R ural A ffairs
Rural Affairs? Well really, sheep shagging ?!- the latest research provided:
3 farmers were asked about their affairs with sheep,
The one from Sussex explains that he come up to the sheep from behind, puts the sheep’s rear legs in his boots and shags the sheep from behind.
The one from Wales explains that he comes up to the sheep from behind, puts the sheep’s rear legs in his boots and shags the sheep from behind.
The one from Scotland explains that he grabs the sheep, throws its front legs over his shoulders, puts its rear legs in his boots and shags the sheep that way. When explained that other farmers shag the sheep from behind, he exclaims
‘What? And miss out on all the kissing?’
Is it actually a systematic and planned destruction of our society, decimating it to the extent that an EU or similar overseeer is welcomed?
I’m not a conspiracy theorist, but some of what goes on must be beyond coincidence – either that, or just beyond thought. How can a government as ‘politically aware’ as this not realise how dumb this looks?
I have the same feelings. I often wonder if there is a method behind their madness.
But perhaps I shouldn’t go there. Mr Fawkes has made it clear he doesn’t welcome the anti-NWO faction on this blog, so perhaps I shouldn’t get too caught up in conspiracy theories.
It is planned. Immigration increase in population gives more voting rights to EU. Crime-let’s get it out of control so we give euro police a chance to sort it out. Drugs-let the youth become uneducated and dependent on narcotics, makes for easy army recruitment later….
Come – keep up
A deal was done with the EU – we (UK) got FINANCIAL SERVICES and Europe mainland got AGRICULTURE – in the Greater Plan of Things – the rest is history!
Hmmm…make us dependent on financial services, then collapse the financial system?
It has a twisted but rather elegant logic…
Putting the wrong people in the wrong job is always a disaster. I’ve seen it in places where I’ve worked time and time again… particularly management roles where the person’s heart is not really into it, but just doing it for more money, or to put it on the CV etc. When they look back on what they did they don’t like it…
This Fitzpatrick guy should go back to firefighting.
This guy sounds like he is a smatterer, someone who dabbles in all kinds of things but unable to concentrate for long periods.
The majority of our ministers appear to have the intelligence and attention span of a gnat – except when it comes to completing expense forms of course. Gone are the days when they were selected for their knowledge and experience – now they’ve got the job if they can endlessly spout the party line and they look ok on the telly. Any other consideration doesn’t get a look-in. I heard the Byrne creature on Toady this morning – even Humphrys had to abandon any hope of getting a straight answer – or indeed any kind of answer out of him. He wouldn’t know a logical, well-presented argument if he fell over it. These people are just pygmies with power.
“Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened”.
Churchill’s Commentary on Man:
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the
time he will pick himself up and continue on.
Having had the privilege of working and eating with Pygmies for you to describe
them as ‘just pygmies’ upsets me: They are a noble,honest,brave and
hard-working people – to compare them with the shower of reptiles controlling
this country is totally unfair and inaccurate: An apology would be in order.
I am mortified by my grave insult to pygmies – quite out of order. May wild asses defile the grave of my maternal grandmother…..and other such grovelling expressions of regret.
Quite a few of them seem to have stumbled even over expenses forms, given the number of errors admitted too!
Strangely the errors are always in their favour.
“..wrong people in the wrong job”
The archetype being, of course, one Gordon Brown.
Is there ANY job at all to which the little shit would be suited ?
Turd grading.
The Penguin
When Nero Brown decides to start the second great fire of London, at least Fireman Sam will be there to fan the… sorry i mean put it out
Of course he won’t eat a bacon buttie, that would be a clear case of canniabilism.
But he’s happy to keep his snout in the trough.
DEFRA : a.k.a “Department for the Eradication of Farming and Rural Activities
hoorah.
Save us some tax money.
…to be used by those paragons of fiscal virtue in HMG ? FFS.
Average farm income in the UK ? almost £ 21,000.
Or two bog seats and a patio heater for each of the troughers…
We need farming in this country, period.
Yep, we could start by using HMG as fertilizer!
As I’m always telling you, I believe in listening to the voters.
Henceforth, in accordance with your wishes, I will farm proles.
Another Jock interfering in English politics. Yet another jock ‘George Galloway’ (tapping into the Muslim vote) will be standing against him at the next election.
Whenever I fly I seem to get seated next to a vegetarian. And always the “special meal” they ordered has been given to someone else.
“But I did order it”, they whine pathetically.
“Well they didn’t tell us” retorts the trolly dolly with all the compassion of a Guntanamo Bay guard.
“Could I have the braised BEEF?” I interrupt.
“Certainly Sir” (good a passenger who isn’t making trouble!) “and would you like an extra bottle of wine with your meal Sir?”.
The vegetarian inevitably has to settle for a stale bun and a triangle of processed cheese, while I deliberately let gravy dribble down my chin.
These days, however, all scheduled airlines do “vegetarian” options as these flora fascists have foisted their own odious beliefs on the rest of us. And if you think you don’t have to take the veggie option, well you do if you’re sitting at the back and all the beef and chicken dishes have been collared by the front rows.
Fuckers.
When flying long distance, always order the Kosher meal, especially on the LHR/NYC/LHR flights. The jews look after each other and you get a nice piece of grub and plenty of it.
Order Halal and get ‘special’ treatment when boarding
Special treatment when boarding? Not water boarding, surely?
Although you might not pull the trick off if you’ve got a tinfoil kippah.
I did that once. Thought I’d get served first like you normally do. 400 people on this 747 from JNB to Frankfurt.
Fuck no. Served last. But what I genuinely hadn’t considered was I was on a Luftwaffe flight. At Easter. So while the rest of the passengers were enjoying a nice Easter roast with Easter Egg I had the entire cabin staff wandering down to see the big-nose who’d ordered a Kosher meal which seemed to be mainly grey tasteless food and rye bread.
Certified Kosher by the Rabbi of Jo’burg it was.
Oops.
Cleaned me out like nothing before or since though. I left a shit that was sticking a foot out of the bog at Frankfurt airport. Amazing work on the old digestive system.
Classic JGM2!!I laughed so much, I cried and the tears ran down my leg.
True story. Fantastic it was. Like a big brown periscope sticking out of the bog.
You know how you sit there waiting for the splash? It just never came. I was practically jacking myself off the bog to the point that I was almost standing before I crimped it off.
I had fucking goose bumbs after that shit. I’m getting goose bumbs just remembering it.
Another keyboard soaked in coffee….
German public bogs are strange anyway. They are designed so you can closely inspect your turds before flushing.
The Penguin
And here!
In fact it was a REAL Admiral Brown!
Dr. Mick, if you’re also hugely fat, I think I’ve been sat next to you on that plane.
You are off your rocker. How is anyone FORCING you to eat vegetarian?! You are the bloody fascist getting on your high horse about people choosing a different diet to you. For fucks sake, grow up.
Why is this a surprise? I mean if we were to place parliamentarians in positions based and their qualifications and outside experience, then ninety percent of them would be working as cup holders!
LOL !
Caroline Flint wouldn’t look out of place in Kings Cross touting for business
I wouldn’t trust them to be any good at that even.
The Penguin
MPs working as cup holders? That’s a job far beyond their intellectual capabilities.
“the bacon butty would not be for me”. That will please British pig farmers…
But it might please growers of cereals, fruit and vegetables of which there are plenty. Surely libertarians allow people to eat whatever they want providing that they don’t shove their choices down other peoples throats? I presume on this basis Guido would also object to a Jewish/Moslem Minister of Agriculture or a Prime Minister setting rail policy even though she hated travelling on trains.
Mandy-boys just love shoving things down people’s throats
The country’s been having it done to it for years
How are is jimbo going to reconcile the production of Halal meet ( big Bangladeshi vote ) with animal welfare ( all those metroplitan tree-huggers ) I am laughing at this one already. Stand by for the most contorted logic possible.
Yes, bit like how the left are pro-Gay and pro-Muslim at the same time!
Ever flown Air Biman?
The stewards would only serve the male passengers so I had to ask for everything via my boyfriend. Oh yes — and we got a boiled sweet each for take-off.
Piss off tosser.
“a Prime Minister setting rail policy even though she hated travelling on trains.”
she?
Do you know something that we don’t Dolly?
Do you think its him?
Its rather an ancient anecdote. Ah well, with duran duran and the like touring again, perhaps the 80s are back in fashion.
Reference to Margaret Thatcher…
Of course. It’s all her fault, even though it started in America.
I presume on this basis Guido would also object to a Jewish/Moslem Minister of Agriculture or a Prime Minister setting rail policy even though she hated travelling on trains.
True but if i want to change a plug i will find a electrician not get my doctor to do it !
hard-working families would change the plug themselves because they haven’t got the money for electricians.
Is it the technology of changing a plug is beyond you or you don’t approve of manual work ? ( at least not outside the bathroom )
MPs have cornered the market in electricians. Now that the Poles have gone home you try finding a decent one – they’re all still rewiring second homes.
Except that hard working families are prevented from changing plugs, due to EU Directive 2009/EL/3/1045 – So, in our best interests we now (legally) have to call in that electrician at 50 quid an hour to change it…
Is that like saying muslim Aaqil Ahmed should be chosen as the BBC’s head of religion?
Good old BBC… still, it wasn’t one of the reasons why I don’t pay the telly tax. Plenty more before that.
“But it might please growers of cereals, fruit and vegetables of which there are plenty. Surely libertarians allow people to eat whatever they want providing that they don’t shove their choices down other peoples throats?”
This man is a vegetarian and therefore a wanker.
Save the pig… eat pork!
Somebody want’s to reject the argument – start by explaining that pigs are a popular pet, with such significant numbers they’ll remain an extant species, with all its current diversity! How many vegetarians have pet pigs?
TBNGU
And why do we grow so much cereal in this country? To make bread perhaps? Er.. No.. much of it goes to animal feed so that normal everyday hardworking families can have a bit of meat to eat.
And what happens when poor old Buttercup stops giving milk? Humanist interment in some leafy glade somewhere? Nope, by products of the dairy industry (that Labour have allowed to decline) include burgers and boots.
If this MP is a fully paid up member of “Veggibollah” then he should give assurances to the farming community that he is working in their best interest.
DHYB !
As Frankie Boyle so eloquently put it:
“Yes there is a vegetarian option….you can fuck off.”
WTF is g1lgam3sh? Your password for some porn site?
Let me get this right: you have to be educated to be in charge of Education ? You have to understand finance to be in the Treasury ? You have to understand farming to be in charge of DEFRA ? You have to have been cultivated to be in charge of Culture and Proper Grooming ? You have to have knowledge of warfare and budgets and things that go bang to be in charge of M.O.D. ? You have to have intelligence (Intelli Services) and and understanding of right and wrong to be in the Justice Dept. ? You have to be able to lock the doors at night and switch on the alarm to secure the perimeter to be Home “Seckertary” ?
Don’t be ridiculous.
Being educated at Education would be a start. Or are you suggesting we seek an innumerate, illiterate minister ( 346 possible candidates )
Maybe the reason the country’s in the shit is we have so many MPs who have never worked in the real world. They don’t have any basic managerial experience yet are placed in charge of billions of taxpayers money. As a result running a department is a PR opportunity rather than a job. None of them stay in place long enough – ie through 3 budget rounds and they leave a mess of unfinished badly thought-out dross behind them for others to clear up.
If someone became the CEO of a multibillion pound company with the introduction of ” Hi, I’m Jim, I used to be a fireman ” the share price would crash through the floor.
In a Company, The Board of Directors are responsible to their shareholders who can call an Extraordinary General Meeting to protest Board activities and force a change of Directors if necessary.
If the company goes into liquidation the Board of Directors could be held criminally liable if they have not performed within the legal bounds of business practise.
Hi I’m ANDY, I used to be a grocer
Have a look at my CV:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Ainsworth
I’m eminently qualified to be the new Defence Secretary
Well, there’s always the new defence budget for Jaguar Tanks! Bit like the German Panther Tanks, but made in Britain!
“The bacon butty would not be for me” … some knobbers will say anything which might appeal to certain members of certain faiths predominant in the East End of London .. on the “Look at me, I do as you do .. so vote for me” basis ..
Never thought of that….
“This delicious chicken dhansak/lamb biryani/murg cholay Lahori/ is not for me”
Doesn’t sound quite so sycophantic.
And not exactly vote winner down the Commercial Road.
A vast number of Indians are vegetarian. Hundreds of millions.
(BTW most Indians wouldn’t recognise the stuff sold in”Indian” restaurants in Britain. And they wouldn’t mix foods from different cultures.)
Yep, and they don’t live in the east end of London. Since Benn’s consituency isn’t Southall and Luton, the vegetarian thing don’t fly.
And as for not mixing foods from different cultures, I’m not sure what you mean. Apart from the religious restrictions, Indians, in my long experience, will eat almost anything. Pizza was definitely popular among the young Delhi student/poseurs last time I was there.
this bunch of shits have driven farming into the ground .start the new revolution!!
Isn’t there just one socialist farmer who could be appointed to do the job? Obviously ministerial jobs in New Labour version 3 have to be as thick as two short planks, preferably be Scottish and kiss the Great Slug’s arse.
Kissing’s just the start, ask Voldemort.
The Penguin
It used to be Eliot Morley but of course he was too busy ignoring the fact that he’s paid his mortgage off
NO! no, no, no! He wasn’t troughing – he was too distracted and busy… filling in all the other expense claims forms!
lucky he’s got a bit more time now. I saw him earlier this week meeting up with squeaky clean Ken and others in a Westminster hostelry. Reminded me of Ken’s attempts to smear Barry Sheerman over expenses when Sheerman had the audacity to call for a secret ballot on GB’s leadership.
Shawn Woodward has the odd 1,000 acres here and there…
True Pink Champagne Socialist
SHould fit the bill…!!
So the Panto Dame has yet again foisted another Sweaty into a position they are totally unqualified for. Christ! You couldn’t make it up!!
Plan is brewing – 200 cigs and 2 bottles of vodka a day – natural Health Sec. I think
Be reasonable Guido.
Brown had to find candidates for Ministerial roles who hadn’t troughed (or if they had it could be covered up like Malik), who would work with him and spout the party (ie his perverted) line and who would profess undying loyalty to him even though he is one of the World’s biggest shits.
To find someone who could tick all those boxes and know something about his brief would be a sretch.
A side benefit is that Countryfolk tend to vote Tory – so fuckem as Brown would say.
I’m still looking but I can’t find any of the above….
Are we allowed to use the words ‘Malik’ and ‘whitewash’ in the same sentence?
You may say that but I couldn’t possibly comment
Blair talks bollocks followed by whitewash from Hutton.
What’s the difference?
Malik has explained it all. It only looked as tho’ he was receiving a preferential rent. Due to cultural practices and requirements an additional amount had to be paid in cash.
Do hope the “Cultural Cash Payment Section” of HMRC look into this and give it their blessing.
And he was only claiming on two homes at once because he needed more space for his Massage Chair and Home Cinema.
The Penguin
Chutzpah or what ? Malik told the fees office that because nobody had told him that he could not spend £2,500 of the taxpayers money on a telly and another £500 on surround sound or whatever -then in all fairness, the fees office should, in the interest of justice and fair play, cough the full amount. They bravely stood down to Malik and paid him fifty percent of the total instead of the £750 he was entitled to.
I am very worried about that Malik might now do, because nobody has told him that he can’t.
So it would be completely wrong to suggest that these receipts were false, and merely the means to justify claiming many thousands of pounds of taxpayers’ money for second home allowances on his main residence?
It is quite outrageous that this is being swept under the carpet. Good old McBust – the usual lies instead of his much-acclaimed ‘tranparency’.
You mean “trensperency”..
Of course the i’m sure the landlord he was paying in cash (due to cultural reasons) has declared this to the revenue along with all the cash he no doubt gets (for cultuaral reasons) from his many other tenants.
What a way to run a Country .. Peers, Queers & Spivs .. you couldn’t make it up ..
What pig farmers Guido? After 12 Years of our beloved Prime Minister and his sycophantic cohorts doing down agriculture at every opportunity in order to turn the countryside into a cuddly playground for their rich mates with their 4×4 Chelsea Tractors, there are none left!
Loads in Holland and Denmark where the animal welfare standards are less challenging. Surely you’re not suggesting it’s hypocritical to press for high standards and then import anything from anywhere?
New Labour – Danish Bacon for British Workers
vegetarian farters are the worst, they are fermenting demijohns
I find cabbage soup always creates plenty of space for me on the rush hour tubes
Brussel Sprouts do best…
Have you tried that Caroline Lucas? Yummy.
Melon flavour
Millions of people know that Labour are the party of social justice and progressive policies. Labour offer real help now to hard working families hit by the global recession.
Millions more hate them
And I am one who does.
And me.
and me!
and me – really!
Would you like to put your assertion to a General Election, or are you like your dear leader & party democracy shy?
New Labour – No mandate, no authority, a Cabinet cabal of crooks presiding over a discredited rotten parliament with no respect from the people & no authority from the people.
You must be really proud of the ruinous state your party has bought the country to as I am beginning to believe that it was your partys intention all along to destroy us.
Dissolve Parliament
Oh come on – yesterday says all
Yes 286
No 340
As of that vote – Labour as a party are too scared to go to the electorate, because their policies are socially unacceptable!
Labour – hitting hard-working families harder
You still here?
Can you back that up? say er with a list of those hard working families you beloved dicktator has helped er’ with The mortgage protection’ scheme just for a start?.
That will be the Malik and Uddin families.
The Penguin
GUIDO HAS A LOT IN COMMON WITH MICHAEL MOORE.
“MICHAEL MOORE GOES AFTER WALL STREET IN NEXT FILM”
First his expose of George Bush et al and the Iraq war with Farenheit 9/11 and now his Wall Street/Global Economic Meltdown film due out October 2009. London was a main centre for Wall Street players, so should be some interesting revelations!
Perhaps he could take on British Politics as his next film theme.
http://www.usatoday.com/life/movies/news/2009-06-10-michael-moore-wall-street_N.htm
“”Moore says. “I want them to walk out at the end saying ‘Wow, that was something!’ And in this case, maybe they also walk out asking the ushers, ‘Um, excuse me. Where are the pitchforks and torches?’ “”………..
Why don’t we have our own UK Michael Moore?
Surely Guido has some mates interested (and no, not that gardening/picnic clown) in pestering Hoons and filming it?
Michael Moore is hairy, fat, crass, boorish, foul-mathed, vehement, delirious and rattlepated.
Akin to Guido?
Lot like Gordon really.
Rather say, he’s “foul-mouthed”.
@sum((.99/.01)/(.96/.04))
gives you the answer as to why Michael Moore is foul mathed.
Go and copy and paste somewhere else you boring twat!
With your robotic & nonsensical responses I can only assume you’re a piss-taker of the real Charles E Hardwidge. If however you are the real one, may I suggest that you f*** off back to LabourLost where your drivel will be greeted with glad cries of welcome & adoration – yes, they’re finding it that hard to get any visitors. May I also suggest that you go back to your brain surgeon – I think he’ll be the first to admit that he made a few errors with the extent of your lobotomy.
Shame they did not vote for them last week.
Must be Groundhog Day – or have you just caught up with reading Popbitch from earlier in the week
Time to train another attack cow
…or train the original one more thoroughly
Neo Labour do not have contempt for the indigenous British rural communities, they hate us, hence the ethnic cleansing via policies geared to ruin theose same said communities.
Another startling piece of evidence was the Countryside Alliance march when the Paramilitary Wing of Neo Labour (formerly the Metropolitan Police) were used to crack skulls of the lawabiding indigenous countryside protestors engaged in peaceful protest.
And of course the Ministry for Information (formerly the BBC) said nothing about the mulitple hundreds of Police assaults on the peaceful countryside alliance marchers.
Neo Labour are not the opposite end of the democratic political spectrum to me, they are my enemy & will be forever.
Dissolve Parliament.
Well said. They are mine too and I won’t have them in the house.
We’ve still not heard what happened to the murderers of Trevor Morse. Let off with a caution probably.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/4968610/Hunt-supporter-killed-by-gyrocopter-after-confronting-animal-rights-activists.html
Three hours community service suspended for a year.
The Penguin
The vegetarian Minster c*nt for Food is the right man for the job,because no douth he’ll have his snout in the taxpayer food allowance expenses, so he’s undoubtly be qualified.
Am I right in thinking Labour have created more Ministers than any other government? Anyone able to provide some stats for that?
My feeling is that more Ministers = more government interference in ordinary peoples lives = more quangos = more quasi-autonomous government interference in ordinary peoples lives = more cost, more inefficiency, more incompetence = more troughing.
What is the current ratio of government people (including public services, fake charities and quangocrats and their staff) to ordinary people?
Labour have created more ministers than the Church of England
Have created more Lords than William the Conquerer.
Norman and Saxon
“My son,” said the Norman Baron, “I am dying, and you will be heir
To all the broad acres in England that William gave me for share
When he conquered the Saxon at Hastings, and a nice little handful it is.
But before you go over to rule it I want you to understand this:–
“The Saxon is not like us Normans. His manners are not so polite.
But he never means anything serious till he talks about justice and right.
When he stands like an ox in the furrow – with his sullen set eyes on your own,
And grumbles, ‘This isn’t fair dealing,’ my son, leave the Saxon alone.
“You can horsewhip your Gascony archers, or torture your Picardy spears;
But don’t try that game on the Saxon; you’ll have the whole brood round your ears.
From the richest old Thane in the county to the poorest chained serf in the field,
They’ll be at you and on you like hornets, and, if you are wise, you will yield.
“But first you must master their language, their dialect, proverbs and songs.
Don’t trust any clerk to interpret when they come with the tale of their wrongs.
Let them know that you know what they’re saying; let them feel that you know what to say.
Yes, even when you want to go hunting, hear ‘em out if it takes you all day.
They’ll drink every hour of the daylight and poach every hour of the dark.
It’s the sport not the rabbits they’re after (we’ve plenty of game in the park).
Don’t hang them or cut off their fingers. That’s wasteful as well as unkind,
For a hard-bitten, South-country poacher makes the best man- at-arms you can find.
“Appear with your wife and the children at their weddings and funerals and feasts.
Be polite but not friendly to Bishops; be good to all poor parish priests.
Say ‘we,’ ‘us’ and ‘ours’ when you’re talking, instead of ‘you fellows’ and ‘I.’
Don’t ride over seeds; keep your temper; and never you tell ‘em a lie!”
Rudyard Kipling
He makes bloody good cakes, too!
The Penguin
Peace be with you and may you be generous as the offertory plate comes around; we’re a tad short and the roof needs fixing – damn, should have seen to that when the sun was shining.
And Mandy has more titles than Manchester United
been cocked more often than Davey Crocket’s musket.
Hold the front page – Brown appoints minister who sits in the Commons – shock, read all about it
“Neo Labour are not the opposite end of the democratic political spectrum to me, they are my enemy & will be forever.”
You are so right, Mrs RRW!
He’s my MP, he is.
Having a vegetarian in the position is no different to having a muslim. The government are either insane or just desperate – or both
FFS, their contempt for the countryside knows no bounds.
Isn’t there still a ‘Commuuuuuuunity farm’ for sink city kids somewhere up near Thamesmead?
Isn’t that enough qualification?
Wrong side of the water
Haggerston, Borough of Hackney.
http://www.hackneycityfarm.co.uk/docs/about/history.htm
Flint is having another go at Brown
A woman spurned…has she gone through all his suits too cutting out the crotch?
I think his tailor does that anyway. To accomodate the dessicant wadding so to speak.
The only meat the cabinet eats is Mandy’s man meat
But it does provide us with a mixed and healthy diet. On a warm day it’s a chippolata and on a cold day a prawn
Surf and Turf as they say – nudge nudge
Shut up and rim me.
Nothing surprises me about Brown and his lunatics in Nu Labour. How can we best manage and understand the countryside – oh, put a townie from the east end of London in charge. We should be thankful it’s not some socialist hippie from Haringey Council I suppose.
And now we have the gardening expenses expert Margaret Beckett wanting to become Speaker – Neigh, Neigh, a thousand times Neigh!
Oh, and then there’s Widdecombe who voted against disclosure of MPs’ expenses also wanting to become Speaker. Actually, I think she might be suitable – a place like parliament filled with clowns needs a good comedienne at their helm.
I am here from Glasgow to promote the East End of London.
I am here from an inner city to promote farmers and farming.
I am here from West Ham to promote Millwall RFC *gets a severe kicking he’ll never forget from the boyz in the Isle of Dogs*
Jim, like a well-known Lord in the cabinet was also a Trotskyist\SWP member in his youth. It would be interesting to see the total number of ex-trots now running the country.
Gordon you plonker!
Once a trot…
Just great, where do you find an ice pick when you need one!?
No, no, no, no, yes.
That’s “ex”-trots, as in “ex”-alcoholics. Leopards with “ex”-spots.
Nurse Mick! Millwall left the Isle of Dogs about 100 years ago! They are now “south of the river”…………
What crimes have sheep committed that they all need to be tagged.
They should learn to stop mixing with contagions
Under-age gambling
A good opening for Bradshaw. He likes a bit of meat.
Is this what we’ve been reduced to? The only people left to represent farmers are veggies? Labour must really be in the shit.
Yeah, but an old expression is – you are what you eat – so the veggie, is a vegetable!
I think that accurately describes his accumen, and funnily enough – Browns as well.
doesnt food come free from supermarkets?
Free at the point of delivery.
We have trialled this with MPs, now onto all persectuted groups, after that the english – free food for everyone. Just walk into Tesco and pick it up.
We’ll amend the human rights act – the human right to food. The do-nothing Tory market fundamentalists will oppose it… remember your nose-peg.
I’d have thought that old Blunkett would have been given the job after his recent entanglement with daisy the cow
Well done that Daisy I say. Didn’t he just have scratches? Why didn’t she bite him – really hard? BTW, has his dog joined the Opposition? Normally a seeing eye dog would have kept his/her owner well away from danger
I’d like to see that cow made a Dame in the New Year’s Honours List.
Perhaps Joanna could put in a good word for her.
I think the dog should get a medal.
Shame it can’t be de-programmed Jason Bourne style.
fair one – he has now more experience of the countryside than the rest put together.
i bet caroline flint eats meat.
oooohhhh… you are awful!
I bet she goes like the fucking clappers.
Piss flaps like John Waynes saddle bags, from what i am told.
A bit of decorum please, gents. “Like Gene Autry’s saddle bags” and “goes off like a tin of bad fish”.
I bet the mucky mare goes like a catamaran out of Cowes
What’s black and steams, and comes out of the back of Cowes?
No, not the Isle of Wight ferry but Blunkett’s missing dog.
Barn door in a force 8? (not that I’ve any idea what you chaps are talking about — I’m a laydeeee).
On the Yangtze river you’ll find the Red Dung Funnel and the YellowLink Ferries.
I’ll bet she bangs like a barn door in a gale.
Nah .. old “Flinty” bangs like a belt-fed Wombat (ask yer Dads) …
For fucks sake. A vegetarian? Who the fuck consorts with such fucking lunatics? I have no acquantances who are vegetarians. I don’t consort with the bastards.
Neither do I consort with folk who harbour cats. They’re not right in the fucking head.
Im a meat eater who eats cats.
Cats look lovely with a .22 hole in their heads, and, by crikey, the vegetation above where they’re buried comes up like a frog in a dynamite pond.
Two cats sitting on a wall.
“Fancy going down Wimbledon?”
“Yeah, all right.”
They sneak in under the fence and take up viewing points for a power-serving match.
“God, this is boring. What were you thinking of, dragging me down here to watch this shit?”
“Sentimental stake in the game, mate. My dad’s in the racquet.”
Ouch. – Be nice……………
I hear they were going to make David Blunkett the minister for food, farming and the environment but the Countryside stopped that.
It’s a good job Guido posted his ‘blog rules’ yesterday or I would have replied “pull the udder one”
LOL
Oh stoppit I just cracked another rib.
Mind you.
George Osborne reckons he’s going to be Chancellor of the Exchequer and he can’t even decide which house we helped him pay for.
And top muslim snouter Malik slithers back into government without knowing which office he works in.
I believe he has several working offices.
He does have a couple of working orifices.
Is one for his mistress?
Leave George alone.
I was thinking Malik and his ‘office’.
Do chipmunks eat meat? They’re the right height.
Old Mcdonald had a farm e i e i o
and on that farm he had some root vegetables e i e i o
with a …”silence”
The noise that ripe oat plants make when it’s windy is really very nice.
Didn’t he have a dog named ‘Schnorbitz’?
there once was an old man from Fife,who refused to insert his own knife.
His followers were cowards but with chocolates and flowers they managed to persuade his own wife.
Caroline Flint on r4
Caroline Flint on Rabbit
On message – bollocks
She should be riding my cock horse to Banbury Cross
Please wait a while,she has just entered my salon for a “brazilian”
This is how it is going to be for the next year – Labour showing complete contempt for our democracy & the indigenous British rural communities.
Are they really trying to force civil unrest? They really are rubbing our noses in it with this appointment.
This lacky clown of Browns should stick to serving & crawling to his core demographic vote in the East End & not interefere with the business of indigenous British rural folk.
It may just save his bacon in the long run – we are getting very angry & we never forget.
How could they insult us yet again like this? It is deliberate provocation.
I know Guido’s banned conspiracy theorists but (as Mandy would say) if I’m quiet I may be able to slip one in without him knowing.
Big demonstrations outside Parliament in March 2010 saw Brown declare a ‘State of Emergency’.
We cannot contemplate elections in the midst of civil unrest states the Prime Minister.
Somebody’s going to get badly hurt afore long.
Re: Fitzpatrick.
I have just watched the departing Ronaldo eating a burger on Sky. Fitzpatrick had better take note lest he be forced to turn oot for Stoney Bridge Athletic wi’ Maigret in goal!
Ronaldo – transfer to Wigan (Pie Eaters) next season
He’s too late, Prezza has scoffed the lot
Who cleans up after Blunkett’s dog?
LOL
It used to be his PPS, I believe.
PPS = Personal Pooper Scooper
A female MP sees David Blunkett patting his guide dog on the head. She goes up to him and says “Are you patting him for being so well behaved?”. “No” replies Blunkett, “He’s just shit on my shoes and i’m trying to find his arse so i can kick it”
Farmers deal with absolutes. Brown and his mob deal with wishful thinking. There is bound to be conflict. JD.
At least we can take heart from the fact that he won’t be in post that long. Just send him on a education al around a couple of slaughterhouses or bernard Matthews Turkey hellholes and he’ll plead for a hasty return to the back benches. It’ll be enougbh to secure a ministerial pension though…
Meanwhile, Idle hands and all that given some thought to the dear leaders communications problem. Something has to happen and this time it is personal what do you think?
Where do we go from here?
Julian Bray June 11 2009
I don’t know about you but the sheer weight of political news and scandal heaped upon us over the last month or so has not only left me (and the rest of the nation) shell shocked but confused and very angry.
In the 70’s, I seriously considered entering Parliament, having been approached by friends and having weighed up the whole financial package then available, I assumed that I’d be taking a hit financially and my vocational motivation was simply not up to it, so I declined the invitation. Clearly a bad move (the other bad move was not to buy in 1972, Racal shares at 10p each . Even though the then chairman [Sir] Ernest Harrison, over lunch at the Racal factory, strongly recommended them. Racal then simply making military radios, quickly became the core of the soon to be founded now vast Vodafone empire. A modest investment of say £300 then; would be worth around an eye watering £12 million today….ah well.)
As luck would have it, over Christmas I had a total knee implant (a twin for the brilliant one I had last year) and it decided to play up, so I’ve been glued to the television and radio both day and night for some six months, as sleep was not an option.
My detailed knowledge of the news agenda further enhanced by the phenomenon known as ‘twitter’ where as @julianbray I get real time updates from our news media and ‘on the money’ blog sites like Guido, something the political parties and parliamentarians have yet to fully understand and utilise. But back to our tale.
Somewhere (mid 80’s I am told) the modest Parliamentary stipend started attracting covert allowances and expenses, just so MP’s could maintain their public stance on pay rises and keep the cosh on pay hikes being demanded by the public sector and their unions.
The sick joke being that hard pressed workers looking forward to pay rises year on year of just a few percentage points, were also through Union contributions boosting political party money bags. The party in turn was mandated to keep the lid on any public sector pay rises.
I won’t go through the list of excesses brilliantly exposed by The Daily Telegraph over many weeks but had it not been for the original computer hard drive falling into their hands; all this would still be under wraps and John Lewis profits would still benefit from the public purse. Never knowingly undersold indeed!
Our elected representatives some with very slender majorities, just did not ever consider that all their expenses would be revealed in microscopic detail, indeed some MP’s still have yet to grasp the enormity of their collective folly and in no small part the Freedom of Information Act and the legal defence of ‘Is it in the Public interest?’ has served both us the Public and the media well.
So that is the background and bringing this all right up to date, post Brown attempted coup. Simply put, the Government needs to get back to governing and the opposition needs to do just what it says on the tin. Prime Ministers Question Time, the Wednesday lunchtime bear baiting ritual is good TV but does nothing for the reputation or business of Parliament. Issues get sidetracked and planted questions (which could have been resolved by a simple memo or telephone call) deliberately waste a proportion of the 30 minutes allotted gladiatorial time.
For pure financial reasons Labour MP’s are going to hang on until the last possible moment before declaring a General Election but that’s not more than a year away, so expect an Election early May 2010. Weeks after the financial year end, for most commercial companies and hopefully they will be posting better financial results as this recession shows a slight sign of abating. Having secured their new seats, MP’s will then almost immediately go on a 12 week holiday; so the timing has to be right.
In the interim period, our unelected Prime Minister Gordon Brown is in charge and despite assurances to the party faithful, a leopard rarely changes its spots so the ‘clunking fist’ management style which Gordon has developed over the last 11 years will prevail internally with a few cosmetic tweaks for external audiences.
The one area that I can help him with is the whole question of communications. Gordon will just have to accept that he is not a natural born communicator, in fact, let’s face it, he is rubbish at it, so is the badly applied make-up, no matter how many sessions of media training he has been subjected too and by the nature of the political beast, he is constantly surrounded by conditioned subservient yes people, including over promoted researchers with little or no presentational skills or commercial experience holding down complex ministerial portfolios.
Sheer madness. Few will stick their political necks over the parapet, so as I have absolutely nothing to lose or fear and long given up on the OBE or knighthood, (Surjules won’t work for me!) here goes:
Gordon Brown (and any Conservative or otherwise successor) should take a leaf out of President Obamas book. Immediately cut his PERSONAL press conferences down to say one a month and in it’s place introduce full on daily Number Ten Press Briefings, using a the same career spokesman day in, day out fully briefed on the single issue of the day. By career spokesman, it has to be someone who for the purposes of this exercise is politically neutral, totally independent and in effect ‘removed from’ day to day political turmoil.
The objective is to deliver so much detail on each single topic, the media has more than enough. The current problem being that if information is scarce, fudged or withheld, these factors alone whip up a media feeding frenzy and the news agenda goes into non core issues, deep speculation and comment. What is withheld at source will be replaced by non-attributable briefings from opponents, opportunists, pollsters or the dreaded LSE or thinktank Experts.
The daily conference to be held at 08:10am and end at 08:50am. The single issue conference then takes the whole public exchange out of the hands of the news media and returns the control and direction to those organising the press conference.
It needs to be a non party political person so not an elected MP or party nominee essentially by briefing in the spokesperson on a particular issue and concentrating media attention on that issue, wider media coverage on a single issue can be immediately generated and a better understanding communicated.
Why 08:10am? This is the prime time on the BBC Radio Today programme for the big interview. No one could afford to miss the daily Number 10 briefing and it effectively sets up the news agenda for the rest of the day and the following morning. Holding press conferences for the convenience of politician and some print journalists is no longer an option.
Set the news agenda by 09:00am and that leaves sufficient time for the policy or topic to feature in mid morning and lunch radio and TV news bulletins. It also provides enough time for the matter to appear in the London Evening Standard afternoon and early evening editions.
Choosing the spokesman also has to done with care, the briefing in has to come from Gordon Brown in person so has to be a strong and authoritative person. I know of just three people who would fit the bill. Not only able to argue his/her position but also if required suggest subtle amendments to make the issue media friendly, by this I mean ensuring all the issues surrounding the single daily topic are fully understood.
But dear friends, we both know that sanity and commonsense are in shirt supply indeed on the critical list so we will continue with the muddled mediafest and our prime minister hastily re-arranging the deckchairs on the RMS Titanic and acting as Fire Chief as he is constantly side tracked or knifed oin the back.
As Miria Obote, the wife of an ousted Ugandan President Dr Milton Obote, once told me: “Mr Bray, politics is a very dirty business.” That was in 1966, nothing has moved on. As someone else once opined:“ “Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer still” That my friends can be accomplished if daily briefing as outlined above is introduced, if not then we continue with the media meltdown we have at present, no one issue fully debated and the general news agenda dragged back to the old same recurring negative issues. Issues which sell newspapers, but damage political reputations, many permanently and do little for the country in general.
end
you are having a fucking larf you bastard.
fuck off to your own blog julian, we are not interested in your longwinded diatribes here.
thankyou.
Maybe I’m missing something, but isn’t the food vegetarians eat grown by farmers?
Yeah… but not in East London
The only “Farmers” in East London are the ones dangling from tattered arseholes ..
Nah. Joe Swift. I’ve seen ‘im on the Telly
I went to the East End of London once.
Place was full of women dressed as nuns and blokes in beards and frocks.
I’m into S&M myself.
But I might give it a try.
Thinking of becoming an Minister; anyone know of a doctor that does elective lobotomies plus a Jock insertion?
NHS Choose and Book says:
Doctors who perform electeive lobotomies and Jock Insertion packages in your area are:
Dr G Brown [ ]
Dr J Reid [ ]
“DR” Mandy [ ]
Please select one option and proceed to the next stage.
I AM NOT – REPEAT NOT!!!!! A FUCKING CUSTOMER
Yes you are. You have no choice (oops!)
http://www.eadt.co.uk/content/eadt/news/story.aspx?brand=EADOnline&category=News&tBrand=EADOnline&tCategory=xDefault&itemid=IPED10%20Jun%202009%2023%3A35%3A30%3A050
Perhaps the farmers will have a chance to get their own back on this year’s holiday!
Of course! That’s why EVERYTHNG’s gone wrong this year… ever since that a*rse holidayed in my county with his fake family.
Bet he doesn’t choose Wales this summer.
I’m glad they shifted him there. He’s the cretin behind the plan to lower the National Speed limit to fifty mile a year. Tosser, the sooner we’re rid of the lot of em the better.
Does he actually drive? Stephen Byers was Transport Minister and he didn’t drive. Bit bloody stupid, that.
The 50 mph limit has bugger all to do with safety, it’s because the Govt. can’t manage transport they’re making us all slow down to the speed of congestion. Give it another 10 years and pensioners in their mobility buggies will be getting flashed by speed cameras
False logic of course. If it takes longer to complete your journey then there will be more vehicles on the road at any given time and greater congestion. Quicker journeys result in vehicles requiring road space for a shorter time.
I hereby announce my new transport policy :
Every vehicle is to be driven behind a person waving a red rag to warn other vehicles of its presence. The speed limit on motorways will therefore be reduced to 5mph.
This will greatly reduce the likelihood of collisions between vehicles.
Furthermore, this will provide much-needed employment for millions of people.
It will also ensure that they get plenty of healthy exercise.
Signed :
The Supreme Leader
PS Your government’s drive to promote healthy eating will naturally result in plentiful bowel gas which can be ignited should there ever there be a need to overtake.
it’s a choice between a vegitarian for defra or a minister who can’t drive for transport.
Great.
Let’s get the buggers out now, please
Guido, his rustic agitator and the contemptible middle-class Anglo rabble congregated on this forum ought to know that enlightened Socialist supermen as Gordon do not feed on the flesh of beasts or such unclean matter, but confine their diets to wheat, grain and oates, and such which may be easily ruminated. Hence his virtuous neglect of the countryside and concentration on giving succour to the clean-shaven, hard-toiling, chaste-mannered proletarian serfs in Nu Labour urban fiefdoms and chav plantations.
I for one am much enraptured that dearest Gordon is proceeding with his noble-spirited, selfless schemes to eliminate bourgeois excess and redistribute ill-gotten Tory wealth. On with the Revolution!
I believe the great leader currently lives on a diet of semen
Would that be organic or mass produced semen?
Mass produced semen made by the hard working heads of hard working families. This year alone this government has invested 38 million pounds in training schemes for apprentices in the production of semen. This is a good start but more needs to be done which is why today I am announcing a further 38 million pounds for that scheme. In additon to this we will be spending 45 million pounds in real terms for training schemes for new rhythm magazine models with the intention of increasing semen production to 85 million gallons per year.
Lord Mandelson was to be put in charge of this programme but he came over all faint and had to go for a lie down. Instead I can announce today that Floella Benjamin has accepted the role as my Jism Czar.
Semen production figures will soon eclipse tractor production! This is democratic renewal in action.
All Hail the Supreme Saviour of the World!
…but confine their diets to……..oates…
Which type Titus or Captain?
Oh, of all types. Wheaten particles, as bread, cereals, pastries, cakes. Granular particles like rice, corn and rye. And finally, oaten particles like Mark, the Winchester excrement-loving Winchester Libdem MP.
Bit like Hitler then.
The famous sausage and bacon-eating vegetarian
Don’t worry: Fitzpatrick is such a useless constituency MP that he will lose his seat at the next election. Poplar & Limehouse will go Tory.
Yeap
*unfeasibly wild cheering and clapping*
oh come off it, surely you can do better than this. We’ve had one of the worst election results and a near coup and you’re focusing on vegetarians. Mandy really has silenced the critics. How depressing.
Surely you mean best election results, or is your name Jim Naughtie?
*** NEWSFLASH ***
Malik made Minister for Housing. Baroness Uddin said to be distraught at not getting the job.
Drop Dead Fred named as Chief Advisor to the Prime Minister.
how did sir phillip mawer conduct his fearsome inquisition, I wonder?
Did he threaten Malik with the comfy chair ?
There’s a 70 page summary report downloadable from the Telegraph site:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01421/Edited_version_of__1421412a.doc
Quite interesting.
Now Mr Malik, do come in. You’ve been accussed of doing some not at all good things. How od you plead?
Not guilty.
Oh, that’s a relief. Saves all the effort of trying to find some other reason to let you off.
Thank you sir.
Not at all. Now, I’ll just file this report in the shredder and we’re all done. Send in Elliot on your way out.
The Penguin
Quick action by McDoom. Instant constitutional reform – large numbers of Tory voters now represented by Labour MPs who would probably not recognise cow shit if they trod in it..
Disconnected,unelected representation …the gift that just keeps on giving!
“Another Vegetarian Minister to DEFRA”
Throw him to the parsnips
parsnips the him to throw
I’m fed up with handing out money to fucking farmers year after year.
Failed businesses should not be propped up by the tax payer.
If they can’t make a living without subsidies, they should change jobs.
So you’ll be starting in France then ?
hear hear
Fucking right.
Get rid of CAP and allow Africa the chance to trade its way out of poverty. But at least remember that we need to keep some form of farming for food security – and that requires some form of support. Also the farmers give us our countryside, it doesn’t look like it does naturally.
Unlike the French that use CAP as a form of national income.
PS Watching BBC News 24; fuck I’m annoyed that a presenter can’t say more than one sentence at a time. And don’t get me started on the camera work on Panorama etc…….
Agreed.
We keep the massive agri-businesses which can easily pay for themselves…even though those twats in Brussels hand them millions of our money every year, which they don’t need.
What we don’t do is continually fill the begging bowls of a load of small, UK failed farmers.
Ever been hungry?
are you going to grow your own then?
This is why farmers (the hardest working people in the country) vote Tory.
I thought the Tories were against the hand-out society.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8092716.stm
Never mind the veggies, this is where the action is. The second image is rather disturbing.
I think the second image is a dirty sanchez.
Yes – but where is the leather jerkin and peaked hat?
if you think that’s bad – look at the link below
http://www.theruralarmy.co.uk/rural_army_das_projekt.htm
Gord blimey !!
“Hardly the best qualifications for his new rural job. ”
Rubbish. There’s that City Farm thing behind Stratford marshalling yards. They’ve got donkeys!!!!!!!!!
Thats not a farm, thats a agri-disneyland political correctness labour camp . Proper farms are huge, in the country and not run so kiddly winkles can see a duck and think they are Worzel Gummidge’s bestest mate.
Fitzpatrick probably knows as much about farming as you probably do about particle physics.
Good job it takes a minister at least six months to understand a new ministry because by the time that they do they’ll in all likelihood be out of their ‘arse.
Anti-poverty.
Anti-matter.
Same ball-park.
So has the cabinet.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8093784.stm
If this story is anything to go by, we must ask him to declare his interests.
Does he represent members of Mrs Trellis’ North Wales Vegetable Growers Allotment Society for example?
Or perhaps, he is one of the “tractor production is up” fraternity?
The Polit Bureau announce appointment of Neu Comrade with responsibility of Food and Farming because Vegetable supply for the winter season is showing signs of not meeting demand.
One thing’s for sure, he won’t be a member of the Quorn Hunt.
Vegetables make you fart.
Brussels sprouts in particular, it must be a European thing.
I’ve been away for a few days and seem to have lost track.
Can some kind soul please update me on who is in the Cabinet today. I had heard some news that it was just David Carradine.
No, your Grace – David Carradine is the Leader of HM Opposition and doyen of the ‘Rising Sun’ set – as such he is in the Shadow Cabinet (because the door was closed)
Vegetarianism aside they guy’s clearly a prat – Irons & Lions? No way – probably supports some jumped up little scottish team and daren’t admit it.
That’s Millwall RFC. Rugger, not the round ball game. Is there a WHRFC?
Appoint a pig farmer to look after community relations in the East End.
Now that IS a thought, given the number of people there whose “religion” forbids the consumption of pork.
What an excellent signal to send!
Bloody hell that’s now two male ministers in Gordon’s cabinet that don’t eat meat. Is Gay Gordon turning straight or something?
Lord Fondlebum will eat enough meat for both of them.
It’s apparently alright to suck, if they don’t swallow.
The Penguin
My brother Esau is an hairy man but I am a smooth man.
Oi Jonesy stop boasting about going out with that beautician. I’m sick of hearing about yer back ‘n’ crack!
Labour hates the countryside and country folk for a variety of reasons. It can’t put its spy cameras up in fields and villages. It can’t exercise it statist, centralist policies there. So – slash and burn. Close rural pubs, close post offices, close down hunting (what a feckin wasted effort that was) and make travel difficult. Then appoint a minister who hates the feckin lot. Job done.
It’s already figured how to get its own back by allowing Travellers to build sites right next to your farms.
Human Rights Act, don’t you know. It was brought in to protect the weak… and increase Cherie Blair’s coffers. No conflict of interest at all!
So why can’t trvellers park outside Cherie’s ?
They do for all sorts of family events. I gather her auntie sells heather door to door whist she’s there. And tells fortunes from the back of the van although she’s curiously obscure about Gordon. Keeps banging the tea leaves out on the table & hitting them with her shoe
Yep and next it’ll be a Land Tax. Pay up or they confiscate your land and build on it.
Fitzpatrick is now chairman of the Pig Task Force. Clearly they need a veggie to promote the industry.
Tractor production was up .0002% in May.
Recession over, then.
Yes, and these data come from an impeccable ‘consultancy’ who are funded by several government departments.
I live in countryside and it is shit
That’s cos it’s full of fucking pikeys.
The Penguin
NOK U DOWN LIKE A SACK O’ COLD TATIES COLD TATIES AINT HOT SEE?
‘E NOK ‘IM DOWN LIKE A SACK O SHIT THE GORGER C’UNT!
FULL OF SHIT PENGUIN – AS ALWAYS!
Ever heard of a NobLab minister getting west of Warwick and stepping outside the stainless steel tube of the Virgin’s train?
Too many shotguns over mantlepieces.
Too many bastards still fighting the Prayer-Book Rebellion. Lush.
With most MPs, scoffing a bacon filled butty would be too much like eating a member of their family.
But even if he wasn’t veggie, it looks unlikely that he would be supporting pork production by eating bacon in any case…
Gaffer tape over the mouth + Caroline Flint = Good Shag
What, waste an opening? Besides, I bet she talks dirty and is a bit of a squealer and screamer. And you’d definitely want the neighbours to know!
The Penguin
Don’t be taken in. East end of London my arse, Fitzpatrick is a Glaswegian. He is yet another member of the Scottish Mafia running England.
Is he a arse bandit as well?
Labour hate the rural British
Labour hate the British people, FULL STOP.
S’ok, we hate them just as much. It’s called balance
Tom Watson would be more the part. I very much doubt if he is a bacon-butty dodger.
Move Shahid Malik to DEFRA, I say. The Pig farmers would welcome him with open arms.
Arrange a visit. Starve the pigs for a few days. Tip the Huhne into the pen. Game over.
The Penguin
I’m glad he doesn’t eat bacon. All the more for me…
All the huffing and puffing, expense scandals, sackings, resignations, elections,
NO CHANGE.
Only 1 MP has stood down and all credit to him for what he will be losing.
BUT I’m afraid it’s CARRON TROUGHING, lying and bullying at our expense. NOTHING HAS CHANGED NOR WILL IT.
I’ll eat anything that’s been strained through a chinoise and fits in my long spoon.
Shall I bring your soup now sir? I am afraid it is 12 minutes late. Sincere apologies.
Come on – Keep up
The UK did a secret deal some many moons ago – we get FINANCIAL SERVICES – and the EU mainland get ALL AGRICULTURE hence no cows – national herd reduced by 25% since 1997
And all the immigrants.
Why should MP’s worry about the food they eat? We pay for the majority of their supermarket food, and they get a very nice subsidy, courtesy of the taxpayer, in the HoC restaurant and bar. I’m convinced they’ve made sure they get the very best of everything on offer.
What’s wrong with this any way, if the BBC can appoint a muslim to run the mainly Christian country’s broadcasting, why can’t a veggie run the country’s farming?
You voted them in this is what you get!
as the boards’ original redneck, may I clarify that none of us voted for the fuckers and indeed were the first people to realise that nulab were all piss and wind .
At least we have have had the satisfaction of enjoying our illegal hunting for the last few seasons, waiting for the rest of the population to catch up and suss nulab out !!
And wasn’t it a great season? Followed 6 of them.
I’m a vegetarian and I’m quite well-rounded!
Phooar!
callimammapygian per chance?
‘Widdecombe for Speaker’ says Sky News. Haven’t we been punished enough?
She’ll be a lot cheaper than Gorbals Mick and can actually speak the Queen’s English.
It’ll be Ann, or Margaret Beckett. She’s applied as well.
Margaret Beckett. Please God, not that arrogant, patronising old witch.
If Gorbals was forced out over expenses, then Ma Beckett is not a good choice. Have you heard the greedy old sod when questioned about her own expenses, such as the £7,000 on gardening?
She actually thinks this money is hers by right and the public has no right to pry. She is far too busy and important to do her own gardening you see, so the taxpayer simply HAS to provide for her (including the £600 hanging baskets)
Also, if the govt is serious about being seen as reformers (!), should they be even contemplating a third Labour Speaker in a row?
So, a two horse race….
The Penguin
Boom Boom.
Just remember that the rural community hate the current bunch of hoons more than the townies(if thats possible).Luckily whichever halfwit is nominally in charge of farming never sets foot into the countryside.
I guess the fact that we hate them and we are armed probably influences their travel plans.
And can block major roads with farm machinery and paralyse the road network we could cordon off London, Birmingham — any major city we choose… plus the fact if it really came down to not being able to import oil as the £’s fucked, we’ve got lots of red diesel and can actually grow the stuff (oilseed rape) for our LandRovers.
We’ll be dining on venison, hare and pheasant when the townies are reduced to eating their pets.
PS The Army’s on our side too.
Then why don’t they do it? French fermiers block the roads at the drop of a chapeau. Given the help of a few of you turnip bashers we’d have Bruin spending more time with his family by now.
Election or the cute fluffy baa lamb gets it!!!!!
Great. A vegie nutter in charge of farming. And isn’t it great to be special like Mr Malik?
As in But surely this is all just waffle and piffle from wee Jimmy Brown, the prime ministerial clown?
Does Brown make everyone feel like swearing? Or is it just me? (No…)
Brown makes me want to knife him…
I find when I am having a really good shit I start day dreaming that I assassinated him and that rather then being put in jail they named a national holiday after me and gave me a knight hood. Children would point at me and look up at their mum and ask “mummy is that the man who saved the world”. She would reply “yes son, if you grow up to be half the man he was you would make me so proud”. Then I wipe all the brown shit from my arse and flush it down the toilet and sigh…..
You turn me on.
Knifing’s too good for the One-Eyed Scottish Bastard. He should be made to listen to one of his speeches – any one – over and over on an endless loop for six months and then fucked to death by Mandy and his rent-boys, all of them pumped-up on Viagra and with that clip from A Clockwork Orange playing on a screen behind them.
Well, there is that to it, I guess…
I’m so glad he doesn’t eat bacon butties. All the more for me…
You are all missing the elephant in the room, which is Comm*n Purp*se, it is. It was a disease what started in Wales, see, and everybody in the public sector has been indoctrinated. It stands for world government and feeding people through tubes.
We got to stop C*mmon P*rpose, see?
My mam held me up to see Idris Price in his coffin. Idris Price, the Torso from Maesteg. He had no arms, no legs, didn’t even have any eyes. Just a torso, with a proboscis, squiriting ectoplasm at the ceiling.
“What happened to him, Mam?”
“He failed to stop Comm*n Purp*se, Dafydd Bach”
So now you know. C*mmon P*rpose. They’re all over the public sector like a mad woman’s shit.
there was me thinking that the elephant in the room was the prime mentalist.
It stands confidently in the corner grinning like a retard in a sweet shop, surrounded by red herrings and maribo stalk see.
I thought the elephant in the the room was Eric Pickles.
……and prezza
i heard a rumour in the club last night that simon hughes has converted to islam – is this true?
i know he has a problem with gays – anyone know what this limp dum is up to?
The only problem he has is whether to go cruising for boys or girls of a Saturday night.
http://www.pinknews.co.uk/news/articles/2005-355.html
In all fairness, he has apologised to Tatchell for the activities of his team during that election, and Tatchell has accepted his apology.
Is it me or is it as though the status quo has returned as though nothing of consequence has happened. Even green shoots are reported.
Come on someone, stick the knife in, make them sweat again. The Telegraph surely must have some juicy claims left
There are no green shoots. The ‘good news’ is being perpetuated by Mandelson via the government agencies and quangos (and of course the nationalised banks).
Nulabour are spinning more than ever before and certain elements of our sick society are believing all the lies.
I know what you mean! Considering this time last week …..or was I dreaming?
Including this blog. A non story about a minister’s eating habits when the country is falling apart. Gordon must be delighted.
Osborne and Malik.
Haven’t seen anyone else today.
Yes. It has gone a bit quiet hasn’t it.
How dare you mention them in the same sentence. Shame on you, your childreen and your childrens’ children.
Is the Charles Hardwidge that posts on here the same charles hardwidge that was caught in a compromising position with a donkey on a farm in Suffolk?
possibly – although it is too early in the investigation to be able to say
I thought it was a goat and NOT a donkey
Charles has an affinity with dumb animals – ask Andy Burnham ( you won’t get a reply just endless bleating )
Leave my mascara out of this
It was definitely a donkey because it prompted a lot of jokes about taking it up the Ass!!!
If true, then at least he’s a socialist with an interest in farms and livestock.
Fast-track peerage and ministry for Hardwidge?
Which is why no-one in the country votes Labour, and why they were wiped out in the South West in both the local and Euro elections.
SO. what we want down here when the Tories get back in is
1. Make hunting legal again
2. Make the hunting of Labour MPs legal.
Elby
Labour MPs will hopefuly be a very rare species
Maybe we could just go to Scotland and stalk the odd one or two.
McMentals hideous head would look good on my wall.
Oh Beast!! – you’re a Brave Man!
But there are limits.
Or would you have it on the wall of your Chamber of Horrors?
In the cellar with my secret family
Im choked
…just want to change one word, old pal: cross out legal: substitute compulsory!
Chav hunting is the coming thing.
Department for the
Eradication of
Farming and
Rural
Activities
Dysfunctional
Erectile
Function (for)
Reproductive
Activities
Department for the
Eradication of
Farm
Reared
Animals
Coined during the foot and mouth fiasco I suspect.
Department for
Every
Fucker
Ruining
Agriculture
My cattle farming friends in the South West refer to DEFRA as DEATH ROW
Osborne and Malik. What a pair of theiving hoons.
The Penguin
Slighlty OT but interesting – Apparently there have been very heated scenes in the commons between the speaker and the MP for Plymouth. This was about 30 mins ago. Can anyone elaborate on this for me?
Since both MPs are women, presumably the wouldn’t run along and fetch the tea love” for Mick and his rainbow coalition mates.
No but H Harman was put in her place as well, did anybody else see this it was during Business Questions, what was going on
Lord Voldemort Mephisopheles of Foy busy spinning green shoots of recovery. Bah, humbug. It’s a false dawn.
PS. Everyone knows that vegetarians have smaller testicles.
Including the female ones.
Well, there we have it!
Gordon talking on Sky about Malik. Says he received a clean bill of health before these new allegations came out and so will continue as a Minister. He will, like all other MPs go through the independent process of scrutiny (yet to be set up and probably never will be) and if anything is found amiss action will be taken!!
And I thought Brown had changed his ways….hahaha….tax payers and the county can go fcuk themselves
Let’s not forget the Dan “I hate hunting” Norris is also now a junior DEFRA minister.
Hi Flatcap – visit http://www.theruralarmy.co.uk – interesting!
Scab’a o’ tha’ facey of Uld-NooLieBore ar’ ma’ bae.
Bu’ nae’bod’s gonna shi’ ma’.
No’ ev’n tha’ pust’ae ont’ arse o’ tha’ Partae.
Cos nuth’ns ma fult ye un’stan’
[TRANSLATION :
Adherent, infected scab I may be on the face of the UK Body Politic, and in particular on the face Old-Noo (neé Noo-Old) BoringLiars, but I'm here to stay, - and no-one will - or can - move me!
Not even that little pus filled sac on the arse end who thinks he knows and controls everything - even me.
This is because I accept no responsibility for anything. And I am the genius to put the world to rights.
COMMENTARY : oh dear. Still no progress with the therapy or drugs. Clearly no insight. There again, I suppose the 'therapy' (sic) sessions have had to be suspended, - what wiv the 'changes' (sic) in the top layers of the 'party'. ]
Not a piggie in the trough then?
He includes in his interests “anti racism and anti poverty”?? Boring idiot (no surprise he’s teetotal) doesn’t even have any proper hobbies!! How can anti poverty be an interest?? In what form does this interest manifest itself? Detailed study of the well heeled? Interested in anti racism? Of course, most of us mere mortals are interested in both poverty and racism, not to mention degeeneration…..
Perhaps the “anti-poverty” interest applies to himself, seems to work well with his other SWP mates.
Ha ha yeah and of course, anti poverty DOES begin at home
What about his interest in “fire”. Interesting…
Does he get an erection when he sets fire to things ?
Maybe the anti-racism thing is this ‘reverse racism’ that apparently happens when whites are on the recieving end of abuse (circa 2002). As for anti poverty, that’s just a tag. The rich poor divide has increased under Labour – the last thing that Labour want is people having chances of improving their lifestyles, they’ll have possessions of value and realise that Law and Order is important, and vote Conservative, and not the criminal’s human rights party.
My current real belief is, they read the occaissional newspaper about poor people, tut and then forget about it! It is after all an interest – bit like Eastenders!
Interested in anti racism?
In his case that’s probably porking little black boys in a Kings Cross basement.
Jus’thought that could be little black girls. He does look a very unusual labour MP
On the subject of metropolitan lefties who now nothing about agriculture, did anyone else see this on last night’s Newsnight?
Ethical Man’s visit to a US pig farm (best bit at about 2 minutes in).
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/newsnight/8091743.stm
Warning: This may spoil your lunch…
Shows the contempt the ‘listening’ gummunt has for the poor fuckin populace.
There again, easier for the Brussel’s swine to foist their crap on us.
Still, – I’m sure he’ll play his part in MAKING THE H.O.P. Bars restaurants etc smoke free and unsubsidised . . . . WON’T HE??!!
Like hell he will.
Where’s the lamp post ‘n piano wire man when we need him?
Gordon Brown has handled the recession and the media frenzy over expenses amazingly well. He has proved himself to be a world-class leader and all you Tories are just jealous of his towering intellect and moral strength.
His moral strength has gone the same way as his moral compass – southwards.
He never had any towering intellect. Remember, Charles, Gordon was the person who said “I was never any good at maths”.
I rest my case.
Brown was also the dillusional twat who told us he had ended “boom and bust”!
This just shows his lack of any understanding of the financial markets.
He is nothing more than an incompetent buffoon who has brought this country to its knees.
If the Tories don’t sort themselves out and stop shitting in their own nest he’ll have us on our backs in long rows of body bags, the bastard. SOMEONE has to take him on. How about a mass walk to Downing Street, with tens of thousands of us telling him to his lop-sided Scottish face to fuck off? We could start with another fuel protest and take it from there. Fuck him and his supine bunch of wet farts.
Keep telling yourself this is true Charles…and then go and lie down in darkened room.
Lovely to hear from you Stan, as ever.
You’re boring us now. I much prefer your anecdotes about how you revolutionised the video gaming industry.
Good morning, Judge. I did indeed revolutionise the video gaming industry, particularly in the field of game modifications (“mods”) which may include new items, weapons, characters, enemies, models, textures, levels, story lines, music, and insect vectors.
Or rather not. I was led in the right direction by Bill Quango’s helpful reference to “Doomdark’s Revenge” and then browsed around on Wikipedia looking for suitably pompous Dungeons and Dragons type stuff to tweak as necessary. Pixelated Markup Language ™ is, needless to say, just a load of home-spun bollocks.
“Jordan the Windbreaker”, a sort of Wagnerian monstrosity in a helmet with antlers on it, appeared in a Rushton cartoon in PE in the 80s as part of a review of some Terry Pratchett-style nonsense. I also borrowed freely from HP Lovecraft’s story “The Rats in the Walls”, which is online somewhere.
By now, you may not be surprised to learn that I know the square root of shit-all about Eastern philosophy, but once you have culled the basic motifs of scarecrows, grasshoppers, hidden dragons and crouching mice (eg Zen in the Arts in Alan Watts’s “The Way of Zen”), you are all set up and ready to go.
Encomia of Gordon Brown seem to have come back into fashion recently of which the one by Tessa Jowell is probably the state of the art.
But it’s not all work, work, work! After my exertions, I walk the way of the boddhisatva down to the local greasy spoon where I dine on hovercraft of beef, drizzled with the jism of axolotls, with potatos au perverte and a tossed salad.
Thanks for your encouragement but the joke seems to have played itself out now and any further efforts will not be “mine”.
Toodle pip
“CH”
Thanks for that.
Post of the day.
Go read the latest edition of TIME magazine to see what the US think of your supposed “world class leader”. The opposite is infact true; the entire world is laughing at us and our ridiculous dictatorial leader.
How dare you Sir,
We are the cradle of democ . . . demukcr . . demarcat . . . demos . . .
OMG – I forget . . . somethin about birth ‘n stuff
Ah – got it . .
We are the cradle of teenage preggas – flat ‘n cooker provided . . + social worker.
I just cannot tell any more whether you are using post-modern irony or are serious and a twat.
Also not sure if it’s the real Hardwidge in this case, but if walks like a duck, quacks like a duck…
For any Labour Ministers reading this, a duck is a type of bird that likes to swim on water, is edible and produces nice eggs.
Can I have your dealer’s number please? He can obviously get his hands on some serious shit
Charles A Hardfrigger, you’re doing a great job of trolling, whoever is writing you, is a grade 1 wind-up merchant. But time to move on now, this particular incarnation is getting a little tedious.
Why don’t you go and add some more postings to No Leader But Gordon?
The Penguin
Donkey shagger.
Apparently Ronaldo bends it like Brown.
Come on, Guido, that’s using the same kind of false-logic/reasoning that labour use, and it’s not the way to attack the government because it makes the opposition look stupid if they use that kind of false-logic.
It’s like saying a defence minister can’t be in charge of the army because he’s never shot anyone.
As long as a minister is competent and doesn’t try to force their own personal rules onto the electorate then there’s nothing to complain about.
Labour ministers are not competent, and that’s what you need to attack them on.
Just because you don’t have personal experience of something, that doesn’t mean you’re not capable of managing it. If it did then that’d mean that nobody would ever be able to get a new job. It’s using the same “no time for a novice” logic that Brown uses, and it’s a very dangerous argument to use.
Much as I despise the labour government, this is most definitely not the line-of-attack to use, ever, on any government.
Nope!
I like meat.
Especially pork between the buns….
Now where’s mandy’ number?
M & S wouldn’t employ a retail wine manager or purchaser who was teetotal, nor a manager/purchaser for the delicatessen who was vegan.
Whoever represents the farming community needs to understand it and there is no evidence this man is qualified for the job.
The farming industry does not have the luxury of sitting idly by while somebody gets their farming legs over the nest twelve months.
Why not put him in charge of the treasury in that case?
Oh …………. silly me.
‘gets their farming legs over the nest ‘
Is this something you learn at Ag. Coll.?
Horse-shit!
These are the stated ‘objectives’ of DEFRA (I know none of them are measurable in any way, but that guarantees success!)
*Adapting to climate change (what a fucking surprise)
*A healthy natural environment (meaningless)
*Sustainable consumption and production
*Addressing environmental risk and emergencies (EXCEPT fire! That is Dept. for Communities!)
*Championing sustainable development (meaningless)
*A thriving farming and food sector
*A sustainable, secure and healthy food supply
*Strong rural communities
*A respected department (so it doesn’t feel ‘respected’ enough already?)
DEFRA is the only department tasked with representing the interests of farmers and rural communities (overlooked entirely by the so-called “Dept. for Communities”).
If DEFRA doesn’t look after these, no-one else will.
I really don’t suppose that a Glaswegian who has spent the last 36 years living in London as a train-union official for the FBU has managed to pick up much of an understanding of rural communities or the farming industry.
His aim to “promote the East End” rather indicates he also has no intention of trying to catch up.
I expect his diet consists largely of Eritrean Falafal Bon Bons and suchlike, so I don’t suppose he is too fussed whether anyone is promoting animal husbandry in the UK.
Never trust a thin chef! – geddit
I hate to say it but the farmers in this country are being much to nice.
If this was France they would have –
caught 1000 foxes and let them loose in all the major metroplitan centres ( like mink farms in reverse ! ) so the townies could really appreciate foxes up close ;
brought herds of sheep and pigs through the city streets if they couldn’t be sold;
had a tractor go slow on the M25 so everyone could appreciate what a nice guy Bob Crowe is;
deposited tons of shit in front of Parliament and told the MPs they’re being paid in kind.
Pity they don’t do that – but I guess they’re too hard working – something the Labour lot don’t understand – professional politicians, they’re too interested in themselves and each other to give a damn about the real world.
This is ‘McDonald’s Farm’ nursery rhyme time to them. Sheep are fluffy clouds with legs and go ‘baa’ like Larry, and cows that go ‘moo’.
If he confuses the Milton Keynes cows for a herd – it wouldn’t surprise me!
Do you remember “Baa Baa Green Sheep”?
You see foxes close up more often in London than in the countryside, never mind the French countryside.
I can’t believe you’re promoting a “whingeocracy”.
Perhaps the car workers were too nice too. With French style “whingeocracy” Longbridge wouldnt have closed.
You know what french farmers are up to this week?
Stealing all the supermarket trolleys, and/or trashing them.
The only thing I would agree with is when they say: “non a la PAC”
Knobs.
Take your Oyster Card and shove it up your…
Bob Crow
I like it!
Nah – punch him in the face instead!
http://punchbob.co.cc/
Of course it is, I would not employ a fucking vegetarian in a slaughter house just the same as I would not employ a retard in a toy factory. Would you hire a journalist to work in the MOD secrets department or someone who is a compulsive liar as an MP (scrap that last one). Or would you hire a non-smoker to be a smoking campaigner. I suppose at the end of the day it just shows that this Labour lot only need one qualification, the ability to Lie through their teeth and not care if they are found out.
You are wrong about this.As a townie I had the great good fortune as a child to have holidays on a farm in Buckinghamshire every year.To say this had an effect on my understanding of nature/the countryside and life is indescribable. Most farmers have incredibly hard and isolated lives.There are huge pressures on them and so there are many suicides. I am sure there are days when some farmers don’t speak to anybody except their dogs and beasts.Being isolated and finding a wife is hard.Also the hours are unsocial they don’t get to have the type of life that most people take for granted.Due to drink-driving laws some of then cannot even go to the pub.Up early in the morning working God-knows- how many hours is hard.The last thing they want is some political knob-head from London or Glasgow or anywhere ‘ MANAGING’ them.
No it isn’t.
It’s like saying a defence minister can’t be in charge of the army because he’s a conscientious objector.
……or he has a nut allergy.
Well, it’d be more like one who doesn’t like the Navy because he can’t swim and gets seasick, but doesn’t mind the Army and Airforce.
Either way – tie him in a sack, take him to a great height (courtesy of the AF), then drop the bugger over sea or land according to taste.
No actually, – just tip the bugger in the sea, – save on fuel.
A bit like being Chancellor when you can’t add up! Remind you of anyone?
‘As long as a minister is competent and doesn’t try to force their own personal rules onto the electorate then there’s nothing to complain about.’
For a minister to be competent – he has to understand the job description.
How does picking up 100mg of Sliced Pork at Tesco’s compare to being a farmer?, or prepare the minister for DEFRA?
There’s a basic need to know and understand the portfolio of the ministry! That basic assumption cannot be made here, beyond – there’s countryside, and it has farms. The farmers need someone who understands what their life’s work involves and can supply PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS not just the latest political polemic! Cows and Sheep don’t vote, they don’t give a damn who’s in power, but their issues matter beyond the venal thread of politics that this government represents.
Now we know why Google StreetView is allowed.
We all know that it is easy to do character recognition from photos. Speeding tickets registrations is one example.
Now they have the ability to look up all the houses with “Vote XXX” in the windows. Simple, look for primary colours and letters like C or L or even B. A quick voter registration lookup and you have your lists.
DEFRA civil servants must be crying themselves to sleep.
The four DEFRA ministers comprise a vegetarian professional politician, a vegetarian fire fighting union activist, a local authority leisure manager/union activist and a former teacher/child protection officer.
None have any hands on experience of farming, food or rural affairs and only one has previously registered any interest in climate change and the environment.
“Government of all the talents” – you can’t make this stuff up
If they don’t have experience of muck-spreading they could always call on McBride
If you herded all of Gormless Brown’s talented personnel into the boot of a Mini Cooper there would still be enough room to fit a grand piano
Just so long as he knows how to
SQUEAL LIKE A PIG
. . . he should be OK with this load of tossers
Don’t forget troughing experience.
The Penguin
That’s why one of their most resounding ideas was Passport for Cows.
is that what jacqui smith uses when going on holiday?
Yup – and she’s got her chip in all ready
Now, where’s that hay bale?
and I’ve got my chipolata in as well
Passport for cows? don’t need one for the Isle of Wight. Pimlico’s a different story though.
He looks just Like Des O’Connor.
If he sings like him – imagine the effect on cows and sheep and all those other things they have on farms. Cow girls and midges.
Remember the ads ? recordings of Des O’Connor were played in rivers and fish threw themselves on the banks to escape him.
I think farmers should be warned.
Could be worse, he could look like Jim Reeves.
The Penguin
It should come as no surprise that a nulab drone put in charge of overseeing an industry of meat producers is a vegetarian. Most of the dullards on my local council who deal with roads, parking, traffic policy etc are confirmed cyclists who hate cars and drivers with a vengance.
These sort of tedious hand-wringers deliberately apply for positions where they can quietly spread their own spite-agendas.
I’m not so sure.
Jim Reeves had the look of the friendly family vet.
Trustworthy and reliable.
This Fitzpatrick chap – well, look at him. Can’t you just imagine him asking “Will I need some Wellington Boots and a hard hat and special cow-proof vest?”
“Are you insured for M.Ps? – and I don’t mean members of the public”
“Will I have to kiss the farms newborn?”
Etc….
“Will I have to kiss the farms newborn?”
Nice one
LOL
Well of course Gordo wants veggies around him, they at least won’t eat him alive…..
But otherwise, yet another exemplar of the contempt that Brown’s Labour holds for the electorate.
Blair can confirm that Flint ain’t a veggie.
First Peter loses Reinaldo now I Ronaldo – is there no justice in this world?
Only if we lose Ronald McDonald as PM
We are hard at work and will soon be ready to roll out another ZaNuLab intheshitive, namely cashetarian ministers. they will be genuine non troughers!
The whole nation will once again be able to rejoice at the ZaNuLab miracle that has taken place in this country since’97.
As I’ve said before, balance and harmony are the keys to a successful government. Labour understand this while the Tories just flap about like wet hens. Remember, the economy is picking up again just like Gordon said it would. This time next year the Labour party may be in a strong enough position to trounce the transparent Tories for another five years!
Is that why newlabour got a whopping FIFTEEN PRECENT OF THE VOTE and NINE OUT OF TEN PEOPLE DONT WANT NEWLABOUR IN OFFICE?
Newlabours share of the vote is now fast approaching fringe party levels, ministers fleeing the cabinet with tales of bullying/backstabbing/dirty tricks, more unelected ministers that at any time in modern history and crooked ministers by the score!
I must interject, your post sir, must be provided in at least 12 of the most popular languages in this country.
To write in English without these options, is to go against all that ZaNuLiebor has founght so hard to achieve over the last several years.
Only then can you claim to truly be ‘one of us’
Sorry your Archbishopness-ness, EU rules state the following
The European Union has 23 official languages: Bulgarian, Czech, Danish, Dutch, English, Estonian, Finnish, French, German, Greek, Hungarian, Italian, Irish, Latvian, Lithuanian, Maltese, Polish, Portuguese, Romanian, Slovak, Slovene, Spanish and Swedish
The legal basis for the EU’s language policy is Council Regulation No 1 of 1958 determining the languages to be used by the European Economic Community, as amended, which lists the official languages and specifies when and for what purposes they are to be used. The European Community Treaty also enshrines in primary law the principle that the EU institutions must communicate with its correspondents in the Member States in the official language chosen by the correspondents.
I insist that from now on you communicate in future all messages in Polish, Latvian, Lithuanian and Irish. (so they can hate you as well!) Especially important you make all small utterances in Irish – that way we get a NO vote from them and a referendum!
@Guido – no offense meant.
The EU may have 23 official languages but it has nothing intelligent to say in any of them. It’s also very unfair on the Luxembourgeois, who have a perfectly good language of their own (rather like German spoken by a drunken Frenchman) but no recognition of it.
At the risk of opening the the floor for more CEH bollocks, I’m struggling to see how harmony, balance and Labour go together.
‘Harmony, balance and Labour’ should, of course, read
‘Hegemony,bollocks and Liebour’
Whaddo we want?
GENERAL ELECTION!
When do we want it?
NOW!
Please.
Charles
anal fisting is starting affect your judgement
Thanks.
I have a great idea. Why doesn’t that turd Brown bring Dr. Harold Shipman back from the dead, lob him a peerage and make him Secretary of State for Health? At least Shipman would have some experience, some knowledge of the ministry to which he was appointed.
I have no idea who this Fitzpatrick person is. I have no idea what qualities Brown believes he possesses that makes him suited to overseeing complex decisions pertaining to agriculture.
I am sure he was a brave and competent fire-fighter but that oes not necessarily mean he is not an ineffable shit. Given his background, one suspects his skills as a stitch-up merchant and bully-boy have been finely tuned by his prolonged exposure to the Scotch Labour mafia.
As far as I can tell, he is another career politician and professional charlatan (see Edwin Balls); a Scot masquerading as an Cockney sparra, with all the usual bullshit about being a fanatical Wet Spam supporter, yadda yadda.
I wish he and his ilk would just fuck off back to Scotch local politics.
I think this gag is great
Two Tories were suspended from the party following allegations of racism at Oxford University’s Conservative Association.
A row broke out after electoral candidates were asked to tell “inappropriate” jokes during hustings for junior officer positions on Sunday afternoon.
Nick Gallagher, the current publications officer, reportedly said: “What do you say when you see a television moving around in the dark? Put it down, you n*****, or I’ll shoot you!”
You sir are a racist!
If there’s a vote in it for us, we can be a very flexible party.
Sorry, not you sir, but the one below at 680
It’ s okay then is it for people of darkish hue to use the word n……….r,but when whitey does then that’s racist? I could never understand this.Surely this word should not be used by anybody.Perhaps if black boyz n the ‘hood stop using it then so will whitey.
Same with Irish/Scottish/Welsh jokes.If the joke is told by a person from that country it’s okay,but if an Englishman tells a joke about the Irish/Welsh/Scots it’s considered to be racist.Why??
WHY are you not on the Malik story how come a lawyer can have a verbal rental agreement??? and set up a direct debit to pay for this THEN say Moslem’s like cash so i paid half in cash NOT so he could avoid paying any tax BUT for religious reasons AYE RIGHT!!!!!
Ther follow just a little snippet of the bucket of whitewash that was prised out of the Prime Mentalist hands
Split payment arrangement in respect of [property 2]
15. According to the evidence of Mr Malik and [name of the manager of the property company], when Mr Malik began to rent [property 1], he instituted a monthly direct debit to pay off the rent of £320. Mr Malik has shown me redacted copies of his bank statements from June 2007 which show regular monthly payments of that amount to [name of the property company].
16. When Mr Malik moved to [property 2], these direct debits were not increased to cover the higher rent on that property but continued at their old rate. According to Mr Malik, [name of the manager of the property company] and [name of the property company] accountants, the balance of the new rent of £620 was paid in cash. In short, Mr Malik paid £300 of his new, higher rent in cash, and £320 by direct debit.
17. Mr Malik told me that this arrangement was made at the request of [name of the manager of the property company]. When he had moved from [property 1] to [property 2], Mr Malik, in the midst of an MP’s and a Minister’s busy life, had not got round to making arrangements to increase his monthly direct debit to the level of his new rent and had paid the balance owing in cash. [Name of the manager of the property company] had subsequently asked him to continue with this arrangement to suit his ([name of the manager of the property company’s]) convenience. In his letter of 28 May (Appendix L) and during our meeting on the same date, Mr Malik explained that this request had not seemed surprising to him given the preference of many religious Muslims for cash transactions rather than transactions using Western banking arrangements. He had been dealing with [name of the manager of the property company] for some 4 years by then, and knew him to be a religious man:
“So when [name of the manager of the property company] asked me to continue to pay in cash I did not think this to be unusual, nor having got to know [name of the manager of the property company], who is a strictly practising Muslim, did I make any assumption that this was a means of tax avoidance.
“My first assumption, as it would be with any member of the Muslim community within reason, is that it was a matter of religious observance or a cultural norm”.
18. [Name of the manager of the property company] has provided the following explanation of how this split (part cash; part direct debit) payment arrangement came into being:
“When Mr Malik’s first monthly rent for [property 2] was due in the middle of June I noticed that only £320.00 had gone into the [name of the property company] bank account. He said that he had not yet updated his bank payment details and he said he would do so for July’s rent. For June 2008, he paid £300.00 in cash on top of the £320.00 direct debit [which] had gone.
In late June or early July 2008, I asked Mr Malik if he would continue with the arrangement of paying by the bank and cash, and he agreed. This was useful as petty cash for small items and bills.”
It will be seen that this account tallies in a number of respects with that of Mr Malik.
Evidence of Payments Made by Mr Malik
19. I have already mentioned that Mr Malik has provided documentary evidence of the payments he made by direct debit to [name of the property company]. However, Mr Malik told me that he had never been given receipts by [name of the property company] for any of the rental payments he made, whether by cash or by direct debit. In response to questions I put to [name of the manager of the property company] in writing on 19 May, he said that it was not the practice of [name of the property company] to give receipts to any of its tenants. He simply recorded all payments collected in his landlord payment schedule file.
20. The statement provided by [name of the property company’s] accountants (Appendix F) says that, on the basis of the accounting records of the firm provided to them, they can confirm that Mr Malik paid £620 (£300 in cash and £320 by direct debit) after he became the tenant of [property 2]. The records they received from the firm consisted of the table appended to their statement. They received this from [name of the property company] in April 2009, shortly after the end of the last financial year and therefore around a month before the article published in the Daily Telegraph. At my request Mr Malik has shown me redacted copies of his bank statements from June 2008 to April 2009 showing cash withdrawals made by him over that period. These do not show a regular monthly withdrawal of £300 but there are a number of withdrawals of this amount around the middle of the month (the period at which the rent was due) or of withdrawals of other amounts, which would, in total, have covered the £300 payment. Mr Malik has commented on this point:
“The reason why I do not withdraw the exact amount of £300 each and every month is simply because I have cash already in my pocket and certain service tills have maximum withdrawals which are below £300.”
21. In view of the importance of evidence on this issue, I asked [name of the manager of the property company] if he could let me see a copy of the payment file he maintained (mentioned in paragraph 19 above) relating to [property 2]. [Name of the manager of the property company] subsequently sent me redacted extracts showing the rental payments he had recorded as having been made on that property between June 2008 and March 2009. These, he told me, were the basis on which he had then compiled the table of payments relating to the property, which he had passed to [name of the firm of accountants] and which is attached to their statement at Appendix E. The information sent to me by [name of the manager of the property company] is consistent not only with the table but with the account and supporting evidence given me by Mr Malik of the various payments he made.
Tenancy Agreement
22. Mr Malik supplied a copy of a tenancy agreement in respect of the property he initially occupied in Dewsbury, i.e. [property 1]. The agreement is dated 11 October 2004 and signed by Mr Malik and by [name of the manager of the property company] on behalf of [name of the property company]. It specifies a monthly rent for the property of £320, payable on the 15th day of each month.
23. Mr Malik told me, however, that no new tenancy agreement was drawn up when he moved to [property 2]. He says in his letter of 18 May:
“For my part I was never presented with a new agreement and never thought about the matter.”
During interview, Mr Malik said that, although he now wished he had insisted on one, at the time he had never thought about the need for or desirability of a new agreement. He had simply been moving next door, to a property owned by the same landlord. The only change agreed upon was the extra rent, and Mr Malik had assumed the terms of his rental agreement would otherwise remain the same. As a tenant of almost 4 years standing, he knew [name of the manager of the property company] and trusted him to deal with him honestly and fairly.
24. In reply to a supplementary question I put to [name of the manager of the property company] on this point, [name of the manager of the property company] said:
“As far as I was concerned he (Mr Malik) was under the same terms and conditions at the address next door but simply with a higher rent. I normally only have agreements with new tenants and given that Mr Malik had been there for over three years and been a perfect tenant I did not believe there was a need for such an agreement. I would have dealt with any equally good tenant in a similar situation in the same manner”.
25. I also asked [name of the landlord] why there was no tenancy agreement in respect of [property 2] when he was reported to have told the Daily Telegraph reporter (Appendix G) that all his properties were the subject of legal binding contracts. [Name of the landlord] replied:
“I don’t recollect the exact conversation I had with the reporter but I can confirm after checking with [name of the manager of the property company] that although we may not have written agreements with all our tenants they are still legally binding. This is also true of Mr Malik. He had a contract for [property 1] and the only change when moving to [property 2] was the price. Apart from this the terms and conditions remained the same. This is exactly the same way we would deal with any of our tenants who are no hassle, long term and good tenants”.
My, isn’t it amazing how things have changed in the world of Labour politics in the last few days.
Ever since Gordon promised to change, the whole culture has been refreshed. So pleased you have been able to clarify the ‘error’ for us.
Accountancy is not my strongest suit either.
BACS (Bankers’ Automated Clearing Services) defines a “Direct Debit” as “an instruction from a customer to their bank or building society authorising an organisation to collect varying amounts from their account, as long as the customer has been given advance notice of the collection amounts and dates.”
If Malik had set up a direct debit mandate then all the Landlord would need to do would be to change the amount collected.
So why the cash payments?
Why do you think?
The Penguin
And all of this fiddling APPROVED by SIR PHILIP MAWER !!!!!!!!
Is the Civil Service TOTALLY CORRUTPED NOW?
Has Dirty Tricks Brown promised a Life Peerage to Mawer as well ?
Just another fucking disgrace to add to all the others
Mmm,
Malik & Lord TextDeath Ahmed probably threatened to withdraw the postal vote support of a certain religious grouping if their honour was insulted by such trivialities as receipts.
Could have turned nasty – Lord TextDeaths private 10,000 strong militia on the streets of Westminster, scaring the softies in the Metropolitan Police again.
A crisis narrowly averted by appeasement & no doubt more political bribery – & of course a secret report that clears Mr malik completely.
Dissolve this rotten Parliament
The Civil Service is simply sucking on Labour’s tit. They have a lot to answer for.
A little word in the ear of the Inland Revenue about these informal, cash in hand arrangements wouldn’t go amiss.
“When he had moved from [property 1] to [property 2], Mr Malik, in the midst of an MP’s and a Minister’s busy life, had not got round to making arrangements to increase his monthly direct debit to the level of his new rent and had paid the balance owing in cash.”
He didn’t need to “make arrangements”. All the Landlord needed to do was confirm the new amount agreed for rent in writing and collect the new sum under the existing direct debit mandate.
[Sorry to repeat but this clarifies my point]
And, even if it was a standing order rather than direct debit, anyone knows that it is much less onerous to withdraw cash every week and go and deliver it to someone than it is to ‘phone/write/change online instruction to a bank once.
But it says in the Koran that Mohammed the Child Molester is bang against all this modern banking malarkey, he’s fond of cash, no questions asked, Know what I mean?
The Penguin
Sir Philip Mawer also questions why the rent due on the original property was not increased annually. Independent professional valuers have suggested that a rent increase of between £25 – £30 per month might be expected. The reason given for not increasing the rent was that the landlord wished to retain Mr Malik as a “solid, reliable tenant of obvious good standing”. Mawer accepts this argument ["it does not seem to me an unreasonable commercial judgement "].
I wonder whether the landord has been as generous to their other tenants in Dewsbury. But then they may not be “solid” or “reliable” or “of obvious good standing”.
Anyone from Dewsbury here?
Aah just got in from racing me pigeons and training me whippets lad, and allus I can say is it seems a reet rum do all this carry on
Sir Philip Mawer has of course been told by Broon to go away and consider a verdict of “Not Guilty”. He does not however lack civil service wit. In considering why Malik did not question why his Landlord had not increased his rent, Mawer concludes: “This might not have been in his own financial interest but it would certainly have been in the interest of preserving his public reputation. However, this was not the situation.”
It is now every citizen’s duty to “preserve” Malik’s public reputation.
Suprised Guido hasn’t written about the Malik scandal: far more important than “Veggie gets job with meat involved”
And Malik’s story: surely: The Most Pathetic Excuse Ever.
Why drag religion into tax evasion?
Could it be that, when he was caught red-handed, he scuttled off behind the big, heavy, protective curtain that protects all those who say “But I’m a Muslim, innit?”
Malik is a scheming,lying,piece of shit, scumbag crook…
Am I allowed to say that?
not allowed to describe him in any other way as Guido moderates inaccuracies
Whats this, a Labour politician with no relevant experience or qualifications comensurate with the position he holds? Try and find just one of these people that would be capable of a proper job of work in the real world! If Gordon Brown were sent to my workspace and put on my machine, I’d shove the nob down packaging end with strict orders not to touch any buttons. And don’t go to break until I bloody well tell you!
Gordon Brown can’t even drive!
Could you imagine him driving?
Yeah Guido, tomorrow you can do an article on the Childrens Minister… I found out they’re over 18 years old!
OH MY GAWD ZANULIEBOUR IDIOTS!
Btw… dont farmers grow vegetables?
hear hear.
I’ve also found out that the home office minister has never been imprisoned, so I don’t see how they can understand the prison system.
It’s the “no time for a novice” argument – these are bollocks words, using spurious logic/reasoning.
Contrary to popular belief, it is actually possible to take advice from experts, and it’s also possible to learn things, and it’s also possible to put your own personal preferences aside and be objective, and it’s also possible to use a bit of common sense and to listen to people. I’m not saying that labour ministers do those things (they don’t), but if they did then the argument holds no water, and if they didn’t then the argument is the wrong one to use.
I’m a staunch tory, and hate the labour party more than anything, but the line of argument/debate on this blog topic is very very wrong. I’ll be fucked if I’m going to use the same “no time for a novice” argument against labour that labour try to use against the tories because it’s a bullshitty argument and has no place in a rational debate.
Bollocks. Making him responsible for the countryside is like making Gary Glitter responsible for children.
The PM
“He’s one of the most brilliant players in the world. I think people will be sad that he’s lost to the game in England.
“At the same time, I know Sir Alex Ferguson well, and I know he’ll have plans that will be rebuilding and renewing his team. And I would expect that Manchester United and English football will emerge not weaker, but emerge in a new way and probably stronger in the long run”.
sounds familiar
Has the one-eyed snot gobbler got nothing better to do that make innane comments on some over paid footballer pissing off somehwere for even more fucking money?
The Penguin
Hague’s speech was popular yesterday but the best speech was this one: Dissolution of Parliament – The Rt Hon Richard Shepherd MP, the Ace in the busted flush.
Very good speech – one for future historians though, given the lack of attendance in the HoC.
Hope you don’t mind me posting this link, but it relevant, and funny, and shows what happens when NuLabourites go out into the big world and try to do a real job. It’s worth an afternoon titter…..
Did ya here the one about about the townie veggie munching fireman on a farm that thought chick crumbs were what girls ate.
He thought Cow Cake was cottage pie
He thought grazing was when you scuffed your knuckles on the tender.
Durum is the the North
hay is a greeting
Hoggs are motorbikes
Byer is a bloke on the back benches
Meal is the crumbs chicks eat
Nurse crop are NHS totty
Rough grazing is fast food
Steer is what you do with the moving tender
Suckler is a Tory voter
Eggs Benedict was a fascist traitor.
Was he win a Nobel for being “out, standing in his own field”?
We can’t have a load of veggies running DEFRA. What I really can’t stand about them is how they get their food first on the plane and then they complain about how bland it whilst all us healthy omnivores are left waiting.
If they want to be veggies they should piss off to Greenland. I wouldn’t normally say this but I’m with the french… all restaurants serving veggie meals should be closed down as a danger to public health.
It’s interesting that they are no labour councils covering rural areas, yet these are some of the most deprived areas in our country…the closest these guts get to undertsnading farming in snout troughing their expenses. They probably think beer comes from Tesco, rather than the being wonderful elixir from hops, malt and barley… that needs to be grown on farms!
Fuck ‘em I am going to get pissed on fine English ale and eat three whopping big steaks (rare of course)
Wiser . . . you have the naswer!
Pity is, the bugger can claim that increased steak and beer consumption is ‘cos of him.
There again, sod the fucker!
Tuck in mate – enjoy!
Will join in the feasting later.
Always order the Veggie meal but dont order it in advance; complain loudly that you emailed and also put in special intsructions. Must be due to some cock up, and then you get to eat THEIR veggie dinner! Ha!
But now for something completely different . . .
Q. What gives Grouniad McSnot the idea that he, not qualified in any useful trade, skill, or profession, and never having had a proper job, can lead the ‘Party’ (sic), called NooBoringLiars?
A.
he doesn’t like it up him
In the picture is he attending a tanning salon or is he using too much make up to appeal to his core demographic of voters in the east End?
Mrs Righty.
It’s called slap, as worn by all clowns and queens.
O/t but interesting… Not on the ball with the Telegraph! Hint Guido and Dale started covering this ages and ages ago!
Interesting that we have a fascist EUSSR MP but its the PM who makes a hit being depicted as Adolf.
Excellent mash-up Financial Gain Spotting
This guy is talented.
The uk population should get free smack to get us through the next 12 months.
We vegetarians are out to rule the world.
Unlike other groups out there we don’t eat meat.
Why don’t all you window lickers know that ?
Yeah, if the witless veggies get their way we’ll all end up licking fucking windows because the smart twats have managed to close down all the farms and there’s nothing left to eat.
Come on, ANO. You are totally and comprehensively WRONG. One of the reasons for food shortages in certain parts of the world is that meat production CUTS the amount of food produced per hectare or acre. Meat production is utterly wasteful and I can’t think of any defence for eating it, apart from tradition. Have you seen a friend die of colon cancer from eating red meat three times a day, or have a heart attack from the same cause? I have.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1192308/Im-exhausted-Heavily-pregnant-Kate-Garraway-feels-strain.html
You do think Derek could do this shopping, don’t you? After all he can’t be that busy.
He doesn’t cook either. She was on the Jonafun Woss show and, although coyly he wasn’t mentioned by name, she described her “partner” as hopeless in the kitchen.
Then just what is he good at …. I guess Katie’s bulge answers that question.
Only the Mother truly knows who the Father is
I bet the baby will be a great dancer.
hopeless in the kitchen?
Just hopeless – full stop.
“Kate and husband Derek Draper have decided to keep the sex of the child as a surprise.”
Surely they will have to tell the poor mite what it is one day!
I’m less worried about the gender , it’s the species which is concerning
ha ha
How convenient the the World Health Organization has declared a global flu pandemic. How long before that is used an excuse to cancel all mass meeting, including elections?
The funny thing is we didn’t seem to have a flu pandemic last week, just dodgy MPs ….
These things do come on very quickly don’t they?
Teetotal, vegitarian – A Hitler
Wrong. Hitler ate meat. His favourite dish was squab and he also had a penchant for sausages. The reason he didn’t eat red meat was because he was paranoid about getting cancer and his doctors told him not to eat much of it.
Nope he ate meat, just not red meat because he was advised not to by his doctors because of his paranoia of getting cancer like his mother.
Nope – he liked soft candy
New Labour guide to agriculture
As a gesture of goodwill to Mr Fitzpatrick in his new job, I’ve compiled a glossary to help him in his new job:
CAP – item of clothing formerly worn by Keir Hardie
Chicken – a noble creature of great courage, hence why people say ‘Gordon Brown is a chicken’
Countryside – the green bit you can see out of the train window, most often seen between London and Glasgow
Cow – carrier of highly contagious diseases, sometimes tramples former Home Secretaries, must be exterminated and incinerated on sight
Duck – heraldic beast to be found in toff moats
Environment – something or other to be saved by closing down all UK power generation (don’t worry big TVs still imported from China)
Farm – area of land formerly used by aristocrats and rentiers to exploit workers and peasants, last one forecast to close in 2010
Field – yet to be developed eco-town
GM – American car company baled out by Germans, unlikely to feature in Luton or Eleemere Port for long
Horse – method of transportation used by upper classes to hunt cute fluffy animals, must be banned and exterminated
Milk – white liquid banned by Thatcher, comes from Co-Op, Sainsbury’s and other party-supporting outlets
Pig – unclean animal favoured by the indigenous population
Pork – deserved remuneration for MPs from progressive political parties
Rural Affairs – sex between members of the Kulak class (to be eliminated)
Sheep – most popular animal in Wales (former friendly territory), exterminate just to be sure
Subsidy – what happens to council house walls when disused coal mines collapse
and…
Tractor – statistical unit to underpin the claim “Green shoots of recovery”.
Thnaks for that I always get mixed up betweeb sheep and vegetables as the correct word for NuLab backbenchers.
Thanks chaps, added to list. These will be useful as only 11 months left for the government to destroy British agriculture – onwards and downwards!
Sorry Guido but something says “slow news day” about this post.
After Guido’s sterling work, he deserves a bit of time off for some Guinness quality assurance testing.
If I was a betting man, I’d put money on Gordon Brown winning a nobel prize for economics in the future.
shurely you mean eComedynomics
Like Simon Cowell getting a peerage?
Now Prescott on the other hand would have at least looked the part. I always thought he had more than a passing resemblence to our local butcher. Minister for Lard and Pork Pies would have had no hesitation in sampling the produce either.
And then he could throw it all up.
The Penguin
“He tells his constituents that: “I am here to promote the East End of London””
Well, isn’t he an MP for an East End of London constituency, or is my knowledge of london just plain shit? I’d be pretty worried if he wasn’t interested in his constituents at all.
What’s he supposed to say? “I don’t give a shit about my constituents” ?
Now, if he said “people in the countryside are all a bunch of inbred hicks and we should just leave them alone to fester in their own cow shit” then I’d worry.
Perhaps if he doesn’t like eating turnips that disqualifies him from listening to farmers who grow turnips too?
Vegetarian ministers in DEFRA?
Its like putting:
a CND supporter in charge of our sub fleet.
a lycranazi* in charge of road building
a thief at the Home Office***
a Marxist in charge of anything financial ***
a Socialist in any position of power***
Actually it is not worth trying to make up absurd postings, for the Labour Party have made such corkers as to just tell the truth is bad enough.
* one of those cyclists who wears “those” shorts and spends all their time not sitting on the saddle (cos it appears to be a razor blade) but leaning side to side so far as to send sparks from their pedals – cleats on, natch – as they ponce along the road with their buttocks high in the air like some lemur signalling to its brethren. Maybe they should shove one of those blinking LED lights up their fundie, so we get a real cats-eye view. They HATE cars. All cars, regardless of the driver. They are prejudiced. Maybe from personal experience, but prejudiced all the same.
*** too late
Fancy a free speech by Gordon Brown with dinner thrown in? They just can’t give it away.
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23706700-details/Now+Sir+Elton+John+and+friends+abandon+PM+as+Labour+gala+fails+to+sell+out/article.do
Oh, how the mighty have fallen……
Imagine. A free Gordon speech, with dinner thrown up.
“Rude, vile pigs! D’ ye ken what that means? Rude, vile pigs! That’s what a’ youse are.”
Wisnae me!
I see BBC news has gone into full, global swine flu panic mode. First item on the rolling news. Is there some pressing reason that our attention is being drawn to 10 cases of the sniffles half a planet away?
Can’t be another Cabinet Minister resigning. That only rates an any other news on the local programmes now.
This is an extremely feeble effort to deflect attention. It isn’t working.
If you have to shag a pig, wear a condom. You know it makes sense.
The Penguin
Labour has always hated the countryside and agriculture. To them, farmers are wicked kulaks, putting up the price of the workers’ bread and refusing to comply with depleasurization directives from Whitehall. Worst of all, they don’t vote Labour.
True – and the Hunting ban (alleged/attempted) was part of that.
They made no bones about it – the evidence was immaterial.
If you don’t believe, it read the Committee reports
Finally we are eliminating you carcass-eating war-mongering savages… Hear Hear to Vegetarian power!
Government plans FOI restrictions
The government is planning to introduce important new restrictions on access to cabinet and royal papers under freedom of information.
Under the new plans, cabinet papers would be absolutely exempt from FOI for a period of 20 years. This would include records relating to cabinet sub-committees.
This would be significantly tighter than the current position, where for most cabinet documents the decision on whether to release them depends on the “public interest test” – whether it is more in the public interest to disclose them in response to an FOI request or to keep them secret.
Royal papers will also be subject to an absolute exemption for 20 years, which in the case of the sovereign and the heir to the throne would be extended to five years after their death if that was later.
The Ministry of Justice has confirmed that this is what Gordon Brown meant when in his Commons statement today he referred to “the need to strengthen protection for particularly sensitive material”.
This will be accompanied by greater openness for government papers apart from cabinet and royal documents, reducing the “30 year rule” which governs when most of them will be open to the public to 20 years. This is the government’s response to the recent Dacre review of the rule.
Mr Brown also confirmed that FOI will be extended to cover a wider range of organisations. The justice minister Michael Wills had already indicated this last month.
The next step on this would involve consultation with those bodies that the government wants to bring within the scope of FOI, so it will be some time before any extension actually takes effect.
Mr Brown told MPs:
“Given the vital role transparency has played in sweeping aside the discredited system of allowances, and holding power to account, I believe we should do more to spread the culture and practice of freedom of information.”
The Ministry of Justice has now given this statement:
“The Dacre Review’s recommendation that we consider – in parallel to adopting a new rule – whether certain categories of information deserve enhanced protection has prompted us to look at important safeguards in the current FOI Act. In relation to Cabinet information, and information relating to the Royal Household, it has become clear that those safeguards are insufficiently robust to protect our current constitutional arrangements, and need changing. We will be announcing the detail of these changes in our full response, to be published shortly.
We will be making two amendments to the exemptions in the Freedom of Information Act to ensure that our information access arrangements allow essential constitutional relationships and conventions to be preserved.
“Cabinet papers will be released much earlier than under the current rule, but will be subject to an absolute exemption under the Act until they are 20 years old.
“To ensure the constitutional position and political impartiality of the Monarchy is not undermined, the relevant exemption in the Freedom of Information Act will be made absolute for information relating to communications with the Royal Household that is less than 20 years’ old. After that point – if the relevant Member of the Royal Family is still alive – then the exemption will continue to apply until five years after their death – on an absolute basis for the Sovereign and the Heir to the Throne, and on a qualified basis for other members of the Royal Family.”
The Campaign for Freedom of Information is not happy.
The FOI Act was one of the bravest and wisest acts of Mr Blair. It has already been of great benefit to the government of the UK (though not necessarily to the UK Government) by reducing corruption and exposing incompetence and sometimes showing competence and good practice as well.
This is an obvious fudge to protect Government and leads one to think that there are some very nasty secrets waiting to be disclosed. I have long thought that there must have been some real, large scale bribery in recent years, for instance relating to the inexplicable policy changes on casinos and the BAA bribery scandal. Creeping in under Her Majesty’s skirts is pathetic.
The way I read this is that it is the Government’s wish allow more scope to FoI requests for everyone but the Government, who will close all the ‘loopholes’ that have allowed embarrasing information to be disclosed so far.
Typical NewLiebour bullshit – one rule for the many, another for the few.
Beer o”clock…
Don’t say you believe Gordon, Charles. This is more waffle and it could take years to sort out.
Good evening, Great Britain. Allow me first to apologize for
interrupting your ‘leisure time’…
I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of the
everyday routine – the security of the familiar,
the tranquility of repetition – a cosy night in.
I enjoy them as much as any bloke.
But in the spirit of commemoration…whereby important events
of the past…usually associated with someone’s death…or the end
of some awful, bloody struggle are celebrated with a nice holiday…
I thought we could mark this recent political cover-up by taking
time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat.
There are, of course,
those who do not want us to speak.
Even now, orders are being shouted
into telephones… and this e-mail circular will be withdrawn by officials…
Why? Because while the truncheon
may be used in lieu of conversation…words will always retain their power.
Words offer the means to meaning… and, for those who will listen,
the enunciation of truth. And the truth is… there is something terribly wrong
with this country, isn’t there?
Social and financial cruelty and injustice, faux environmental issue claims, wholesale cover-ups of the true crime situation are all served up with media
intolerance and oppression within the government controlled BBC.
[Yes - you are actually financing a 'body' of people to lie to you... the Devil inside
has a sneaking respect for this bare-faced cheek.]
“They use you,
abuse you…
and bill you for the pleasure.”
Hand-picked presenters blindly read hand-picked scripts.
(Multiple blinking will reveal their compliance in the ‘pushing’ of the lies and deception)
And where once you had the freedom to object… to think and speak as you saw fit…
you now have censors and surveillance coercing your conformity… and soliciting submission.
How did this happen? Who’s to blame?
Certainly there are those
who are more responsible than others.
And they will be held accountable.
But again, truth be told,
if you’re looking for the guilty
you need only look into a mirror.
I know why you did it.
I know you were confused.
Who wouldn’t be? Mr Mandelson is one of the best ‘spinners’ this country has produced. Gordon’s smile could project a warm cosy belief that he was a good, sound man.
There were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of
your common sense. Taught belief patterns, manipulated by minds far stronger than ours,
got the best of you. It’s cool to proffer and ally oneself as a liberal, makes it look like you care
and are deeply compassionate about the rest of society… all in all a thoroughly decent sort
with thoroughly decent and commendable attitudes. Regular Nice Guy Eddie. So easy to get along with.
But I think you know, when you’re all alone and drop the public mask, it just plain don’t feel right and makes no naturally instinctive common sense.
Truth be told, your understanding of British politics and it’s machinations is really quite poor… all opinions are formed by either TV, Press or the odd ‘Free Festival’.. how could it be good?
And in your panic, you turned to
Nouveau Labour – Why not? Eveyone else did.
They promised you order,
they promised you peace,
they promised you prosperity
…and all he demanded in return
was your silent, obedient consent.
Last night, I sought to end that silence.
Last night,
I released censored information on ‘Labour – The Bunker’
to display and remind this country of what it has forgotten.
It has already been illicitly censored against all media outlets.
My hope was to remind Great Britain
that fairness, justice and freedom are more than words.
They are perspectives.
So if you’ve seen nothing… if the crimes of this government
remain unknown to you… if you’re relaxed your grandchildren
will contribute to paying off the loans for this decade of disaster
… if you feel we are currently in a better place than 12 years ago
then I would suggest that you allow recent political developments
to pass unmarked.
But if you see what I see… if you feel as I feel,
and if you would seek as I seek…
Then I ask you to stand beside me,
and expel this corrupt and manipulative body
of people who deconstruct British values and seek to control
for personal gain under the guise of fey social concern allied
with shameful deceipt and misinformation.
Vote for ANYTHING but the current
incumbent Government.
Reassert your own opinion – turn the country around – Give A Damn
hear,hear, nothing more to be said-they have to go and go decisively. But I fear too many sections of British society are now institutionally socialist and incapable of seeing ‘animal farm’ for what it really is.I am also concerned that the opposition is not strong or visionary enough unless they are playing their cards very close to their chests.
Ta, “V”…
In the spirit of Guido – how better could I pontificate?
“Remember, remember the fifth of November,
The gunpowder treason and plot,
I know of no reason
Why the gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.”
Love always……….. V
tl/dr
What’s the latest on the private prosecution attempt on
JackBoot Jacqui’s thievery?
I miss putting the Boot into the olde Boot.
Can’t McGayGordon reinstate her so she can be
further humiliated?
Oh well I suppose I might have to concentrate more on
Shady MALIK.
Just one Boot?
I reckon you could house the entire Imelda Marcos Footwear Museum and Factory Outlet.
Amusing twat spat between Tom Watson and Alan ‘Mr Grauniad Editor’ Rusbridger
http://plato-says.blogspot.com/2009/06/twat-spat.html
So he lists one of his interests as ‘anti – racism’? I suppose that consists of going round finding examples of anti racism, and saying, “Hmmm….. that’s interesting.”
What a Huhne.
Can’t see a problem with the minister for DEFRA being a veggie.
Labour did the smae thing with Transport when they had Barbara Castle who could’nt drive and that was… er a f%$K up.
And they have healthy people running the hospitals which are for sick people.
but at least Gordon had a crook as home secretary!
I could become extremely BORED with this thread.
And its all Gordons fault…………
Was there a ‘no confidence’ vote yesterday in Troughminster ? Haven’t seen any mention of it.
Yes there was, common sense lost.
Just remembered Hiliary Benn is not only a veggie too but also a tee-totaller. I guess a late night pork vindaloo and Cobra is out of the question for them both. But at least farmers can rest assured they are doing everything in their power for the Pig Task Force and getting on with the job in hand.
No worries Guido, they’ll all be eating sh1t after the general election.
Seems like Margaret Beckett is the favourite to become next Speaker.Please,please, anyone but her. I will emigrate if she is chosen. I give you all my word on that.
Wish I could vote for Anne Widdiecombe:always prepared to tell the truth, is scrupulously fair and decent. Her snot has not been in the trough.
Hardly surprising. Labour are now just taking the p*ss as they see the sunset of their rule.
Life would not be as rich if it wasn’t for Pork bangers and mash, fillet steak (and fillet steak and friend onion sandwiches) and of course a damn good bacon butty.
Veggie weaklings don’t know what they are missing.
An essential requirement for a job at Defra has to be that you are a carnivore, I mean, its like someone turning up to an interview to be a lorry driver and saying they don’t drive!
Can we engineer a swine flu outbreak in the commons?
Even an imbecile can see that Gordon Brown is not only a loathsome,disgusting speck of humanity,he is a patholigical,habitual liar incapable of honest response in debate.
He is the chief exponent of the theorythat “bullshit baffles brains ” and the amount he sprays about demonstrates his utter contempt ,not only for his political opponents,but also for the spineless disgraceful bunch of national traitors currently residing in the PLP.
So what other mental incapacity is it that afflicts supporters of Brown ?
Answers on post card please to Quango for Lunatics,Downing Sreet ,London
It seems to be a policy with NuLab, pissing off the countryside.
Elliott Morley was a vegetarian too! So moral he is, LOL
MInd you maybe there are no Labour MPs from rural constituencies
We wurzelmongers have more sense than to vote Labour
The muslims and Jews are right. Pigs are definitely unclean.
You should see the sausages in the the skip behind Marks & Spencer.
They’re fucking filthy most of the time.
Pigs are intelligent animals, easily the equal of our canine friends. Eating meat is costly, bad for the health, cruel, wasteful and one of the principal causes of methane production. For once I agree with the faux leftie apparatchik, Wedgie Stansgate Junior.
[...] Another Vegetarian Minister to DEFRA Hilary Benn is the Secretary of State at DEFRA (the ministry for farm subsidies) where it is a source of continuing [...] [...]