June 1st, 2009

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View


  1. 1
    Scorched Earth says:

    Can I just ask what the point is to all the amusing wind about an Election ?

    Cameron can stamp his feet all he wants but it’s not his decision.
    Major staggered on until the bitter end. So will Brown.

    Fact is the mechanics for a challenge in the Labour Party mean he is absolutely safe and there can’t be a competition yet.

    The only other possible way he could be persuaded to go would be a massive Cabinet revolt and in case you haven’t noticed Mandy has spun the imminent doom of some members of the Cabinet to great effect and they all fear for their jobs as few indeed could not be easily swept onto the backbenches because of their disgusting piggery.

    So a reshuffle will cement Browns power and the reforms package will keep the backbenches happy as it’s easy enough to tell them to wait and see how things go once the Expenses Scandal and the Euros are out of the way and they can check public opinion in September when the Speaker has his By-Election.

    So by that time Brown has his reforms package starting to move through the commons and even if he is still doing as badly as now it will be too late for a challenger by then as who wants to be leader with the polls in the shitter and only a scant few months to go ?

    All of which still ignores the vital point of if not Brown then who ?
    Because there is no one candidate who could satisfy all of Labour.
    And that being the case there would have to be a messy contest which would take months and that just isn’t going to happen just before an Election. Labour know this. You can pretend they are stupid or desperate enough to do it if you wish but the appettite is simply not there. They are all in the shit so they will happily be led even by the likes of Brown.

    Don’t get me wrong I’d love an Election tomorrow but the facts on the ground are that it’s not going to happen. Brown has hatched this whole reshuffle/reform strategy with Mandy (who should have been securing Vauxhall jobs the twat) so why would he quit before the reforms and reshuffle ?

    Cameron can keep calling for an Election from now until next year because that’s when it’s going to happen and there’s nothing he can do about it.

    He cried day after day after day for a referendum on the Lisbon treaty too.
    Guess what ? Didn’t happen. Won’t happen under him either.

    Cameron fears what Brown’s minions have been hatching all this time as a constitutional reforms package and so he should. Because the only thing that unites Labour right now is any sort of plan to totally Fuuck the Conservatives at the next Election.

    So Proportional Representation, a LibLab pact, Party Funding, fixed terms, Bill of rights, Totally Elected House of Lords, massive extensions to freedom of Information.. all this and more will be considered and some of it will indeed be implemented. Some won’t of course as he only has so much time. The Relaunch and reshuffle will be pretty quick after the Euros and Locals though.

  2. 2
    Susan Boyle says:

    Is that Simon Cowell in the passenger seat? GOOD! I HATE HIM!

  3. 3
    Scorched Earth says:

    Well done thick as thieves. You may now gloat a little.

  4. 4
    Harri says:

    If Gordon Mc Mental was a Kamikaze suicide pilot, he would return home safe and sound from each and every mission?

    (神風 Gordons headband = Twat approaching , stand where i am actualy aiming its the safest place to be?

  5. 5
    A pedantic w**ker says:

    John Barrowman keeps popping up everywhere

  6. 6
    pedant says:

    If he’s a kamikaze pilot surely he’s trying to crash the Labour Party into the Conservative Party, not the ground.

  7. 7
    Anonymous says:

    Brown will change the voting system amongst many other things, the Tories and the right will stamp their feet but the average British voter is a sheep who just does as he’s told.

    You know this is what is going to happen and there is nothing you can do about it…..

  8. 8
    Anonymous says:

    All perfectly logical but are these logical times?

  9. 9
    Johan says:

    Ugh. Sad, but rings all too true!

  10. 10
    Dick the Prick says:

    No depth perception – probably hit Middlesbrough and cause a tenner’s worth of damage.

  11. 11

    Christ! I think I recognise who one of them is supposed to be!!

    The Penguin

  12. 12
    Galloping Gurner says:

    The wheels are in motion for a huge change in postal voting. In fact I’ve already got 200,000 Labour votes ready for sale. Any offers?

  13. 13
    Catosays says:

    More likely £50 of improvements.

  14. 14
    Catosays says:

    Good holidays I see. mwhahaha

  15. 15
    Ex Libris says:

    Aim for Hull, Dahling, and take out Lord Prezza and his half-timbered toilet seat…

  16. 16
    Simon de Kuntwell says:

    BBC reporting some hairy Scottish nutter has been sectioned; oh and some footnote news item over the nation’s Chancellor being a fraudster, tax evader and lying piece of shit.

  17. 17
    Chris says:

    Can’t wait for thursday….Labour are going to get a huge kicking!!! Brown will remove Darling after in a reshuffle and probably Blears. Will anyone in the Labour party try and remove Broon or will they just wait for another kicking in the general election? Fun, fun, fun.

  18. 18
    Anonymous says:

    Looks like it’s going to happen. On GMTV this morning when Brown was asked if Balls was to replace Darling he said that Alistair HAS been a good Chancellor…… not IS.

  19. 19
    General Election NOW, please says:

    “Proportional Representation, a LibLab pact, Party Funding, fixed terms, Bill of rights, Totally Elected House of Lords…”

    Not a chance.

    a) Any change to the voting system can only be undertaken by a new Parliament with some credibility, and will anyway be held up in the Lords for years.

    b) LibLab pact already shot down in flames – “Vince Cable: ” Why would I want to be Chancellor in the dying days of a Labour Government?” or words to that effect. Complete non-starter.

    c) Party funding – Yeah right, Joe Public is really eager to give even more of his hard-earned to politicians, especially right now. NOT.

    Bill of rights, elected House of Lords, etc – dream on….

    None of this stuff will happen and Brown knows it. It’s just a stream of bullshit bubbling out of a political corpse.

  20. 20
    Scorched Earth says:

    A fair point and if NuLabour comes fourth and their national polling plummets right under 20% then panic among backbenchers might cause chaos.

    But I still can’t see it shifting Brown as he has proved that bloody minded stubborness that often flies in the face of common sense & reality is one of his strongest traits.

  21. 21
    Susan Boyle says:

    It’s very nice in this clinic. I’ve made friends with lots of famous people already.

  22. 22
    Kavanaghed says:

    Get out and vote anything but Labour.

  23. 23
    Ali Stewart says:

    That is a consigned-to- history scenario. Brown cannot do any of this during this term, so at best manifesto pledges, which the whole electorate will not believe in. The trust has been completely broken: will only be repaired via a GE. So with Brown still at the helm, a couple more political disasters, they just kep lining up-DDay anniversary, Post Office reform, the public will not get any sense of retribution for the serial troughing untill they get a vote, and I think they will exercise it to Nulabs total destruction.

  24. 24
    Harri says:

    A LibLab pact ?

    Calamity Clegg is probably licking Gordons ring piece as we speak.

  25. 25
    Smoggie says:

    You southern soft shite half pint shandy drinking bastards. Come up to the Boro and say that.

  26. 26
    Harri says:

    Dick , “No depth perception – probably hit Middlesbrough and cause a tenner’s worth of damage”

    That would give the council a chance to improve the housing , they could build some slums.

  27. 27
    Trough Mixture says:

    Weren’t the Kamikaze used mainly against shipping – particularly Carriers? The ‘Labour Party’ having long since been gang-buggered and strangled with it’s own pants, I hope that there is one reshuffled soul with the cajones to blow guts of the freak abomination it became wide open with a sworn statement. Darling, Blears – who cares? One of the fall people could perform a Grand Guignol disembowelling of the offensive beast. Let them think they are heading for a glorious fiery deck crash, but for Smith’s sake let one of those in receipt of the boot recoup a modicum of honour and open the sea-cocks so the boat finishes up on the bottom.

  28. 28
    Eyebrows in Vigorous Denial says:

    The Lords will frustrate any of Broon’s reforms and I believe that he will call a GE earlier than next June rather than risk a leadership challenge or being seen to hanging on by his nails. It won’t be very soon but it will be sooner than June.

  29. 29
    Totally Fucking Pissed Off says:

    I’ve watched Brown’s performance on yesterday’s Andrew Marr Show a couple of times. It’s Kamakazi TV. This guy is totally off his rocker. Are we all going to sit back and allow him to wreck what he hasn’t already destroyed.

  30. 30
    Eyebrows in Vigorous Denial says:

    thick as doesn’t do “a little”. When he’s finished the toast and jam his mam is making him he’ll be along shortly for some megagloating and puerile abuse.

  31. 31
    Money and Ratings Obsessed TV Concept Owner says:

    Feeling a bit exploited today are we?

  32. 32
    BBC reporter says:

    The Prime Minister is on holiday, and the Chancellor is said to be reviewing his financial arrangements.

  33. 33
    Cardinal Richelieu's mole says:

    Will Brown be deposed on Saturday morning whilst he is taking the Queen’s place in France by Cabinet Ministers deciding to get their reshuffle in first, post the local election results and before the Euro count?

    (An irony for Thatcherites perhaps, if it does happen while Brown is in France.)

  34. 34
    Gordon Brown says:

    I sent Susan Boyle a “good luck, you can’t fail message”.

  35. 35
    On the receiving end says:

    What would that be exactly?

  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    Gordon Brown on GMTV…cult status interviews!

  37. 37
    Wackford Squeers One Eyed Scots Idiot - "the popular prejudice runs in favour of two" says:

    OMG – just heard that Jonah Brown made an enquiry upon Susan Boyle’s health !
    I fear for the lady now.
    Please pray for her safe delivery.

  38. 38
    Wackford Squeers One Eyed Scots Idiot - "the popular prejudice runs in favour of two" says:

    ABL as always.
    Get out and vote. Your nation depends on you.


  39. 39
    Up the chutney says:

    Brown is no Kamikaze, he is the Faery from Fife

  40. 40
    jgm2 says:

    The Lords can be simply further stuffed with Labour yes-man just as Mandelson was shipped in with zero notice. The Lords is no bar to whatevere scheme enters Brown’s deseased skull.

    I reckon we’ll see PR before the next election. The only problem for Brown then is that suddenly being Prime Minister is a prize worth having even in the death of this government. Because sure as shit stinks Labour will come second in the next election any way and so will be able to cosy up to theLibDems and offer them a string of pretendy cabinet posts as long as Labour gets to be the Prime Minister.

    What odds Brown PM in 2011. Even with an election.

    Still worth a punt I’d say.

    It’s all about personal power and photo ops for Brown. Ever decision he makes in aimed not at the history books for the progress of the UK but his own autobiography.

    Picure of me with Obama ‘I said to Obama when we met on Omaha beach ….’

    Picture of me with Queen ‘I told the queen when she sat raptthrough our weekly metings…’

    Picture of me with Pope ‘I told the Pope on the occassion….’

    etc etc.

    It’s all about Brown using the status the position of PM affords him to gad about the world acting like the International statesman he truly imagines himself to be in his fucked-up head.

    It’s a shame for the other 60m of us but hat is the limit of his ambition. The destruction of the UK economy was just the necessary short-term boom he had to engineer to get there.

    Look at me ma! Top of the world!!!!.

  41. 41
    Post Office Worker says:

    You must have been up all night writing this thesis and was first to post, take a cookie.

    I doubt very much whether Cameron for all his rhetoric actually does want an election now neither will he want the removal of the gratest unelected imbecile of all time.

    And as for Mandy well he never backs a loser and if he was so supportive of Brown do you really thinkk at this moment of time he would be alienating the public, unions and dismayed Labour backbenchers by pushing on with the part-privatisation of the Roayal Mail.


    I firmly believe that Lord Mandelson is secretly plotting and was ‘planted’ by Mr & Mrs Blair. Revenge is best served up cold.

  42. 42
    Celebrity Look-a-Likey says:

    Gordon Brown = Susan Boyle

  43. 43
    Eyebrows in Vigorous Denial says:

    Would that it could be like Luton, Dagenham, Erith or even Slough.

  44. 44
    CYNICAL TWAT says:


  45. 45
    Less Than a year to go to the next election says says:

    200 shopping days to Christmas

  46. 46
    Eyebrows in Vigorous Denial says:

    Over the hospital radio I hope.

  47. 47
    Anonymous says:

    Metaphorically speaking- i hope?

  48. 48
    Diversity Officer says:

    I am personally happy Diversity won!

    It shows how a multi cultural blah hard work blah young people today blah knife crime blah commitment blah achievement blah tolerance blah etc etc etc

    Can I have my £64k salary now please?

  49. 49
    Deeply Regret says:

    Even John Barrowman must hate John Barrowman.

  50. 50
    Moley. says:

    Labour MPs are no longer a team; they are a collection of unprincipled and untruthful individuals fighting for survival. Their first thought is their own re-election, everything else takes second place. This also applies to members of the Cabinet none of whom can be certain of re-election.

    Being seen to shaft Brown politically is the one thing that they all know will improve their prospects in a General election.

    There will be no functional Government until after the election, by which time Gibraltar will be Spanish, the Falklands will be Argentinian and the Chancellor will be the IMF.

  51. 51
    Mr Christopher says:

    Who will be left standing on stage when the curtain falls on the New Labour regime?

    Who will survive long enough to become Britain’s first President for Life?

  52. 52
    Anonymous says:

    Armed insurrection is whats required to remove a dictator, not an election.

    Grab your pitchforks and off we go.

  53. 53
    Dr Feelgood says:

    Prime Mentalist on Toady just now:

    Son of Manse bullshit – check
    New meaningless Quango announced – check
    Tran-spair-ently – check
    Get on with the job – check
    Tran-spair-ency – check
    Parliamentary Gentlemen’s Club – check
    Losing rag – check
    Not at fault for anything to do with expenses – check
    Lying – check
    McBride (not even Mr) – check
    Turning smeargate question into how to reform constitution and strengthen FoI – check
    Tran-spair-ent – check
    Getting on with the job – check
    Weird smile – check (can tell even though on radio)

    Cheeky fucker wants to reform constitution before election – he has no mandate to it.

    I think I preferred it when he was in hiding.

  54. 54
    Jackanory says:

    “I am not arrogant or unwilling to listen to people.”
    Guess who said that?
    The Mentalist on Radio 4 a few minutes ago!!!!!
    The arrogant, deaf moron!

  55. 55
    Loudhailer says:

    That’s the spirit, although I would amend slightly to “anything but politicians, common thieves or celebrities”.

  56. 56
    tweek says:

    What hasn’t he destroyed?

  57. 57
    tweek says:

    Will he amend the constitution to prevent unelected and untalented PMs from holding office?

  58. 58
    Eyebrows in Vigorous Denial says:

    Galylord Manderson the Fist.

  59. 59
    Nettle up yer Kilt says:

    McMental has just stated on R4 ‘s Toady programme that
    ‘ I am not arrogant!’

    I feel it’s time for the white coats and a hypodermic.

  60. 60
    Harri says:

    No, Actualy fucking licking it ?

  61. 61
    One Eyed Scots Idiot - "the popular prejudice runs in favour of two" says:

    I truly am Desperate, Dan

  62. 62
    Premier Gordon Brown says:

    At weekends I like to relax in women’s clothes. During the Andrew Marr interview I was wearing a Marks & Spencer matching bra and thong. Oooh, I can’t wait for next weekend!

  63. 63
    Harri says:

    Leave Luton alone, i was born there ?

    We made hats you know and have a very diverse community.

    And its a shithole !

  64. 64
    Centre Parting says:

    He hasn’t got any nails.

  65. 65
    going down the pan says:

    people should only vote for candidates with two eye’s

  66. 66
    The Admiral says:

    I like D Dan you b-gger…..

  67. 67
    Argos, £36.99 says:

    I’m with you. Where can one purchase a good quality retractable pitchfork these days?

  68. 68
    Bordeaux Binger says:

    I understand your arguments and the reasoning behind them. It is all totally possible and absolutely frightening. One of the remaining checks on the administration, and one that also fills me with dread, is the last absolute power of the Monarchy and that is to call for an election. HM QE2 did it to Whitlam’s Government in Australia and could yet do it in the UK. The ship is sinking fast.

  69. 69
    Harri says:

    Mosques ?

  70. 70
    Lord Mandelson to you, Nils Blythe says:

    Or people who have twice been forced out for lying, being made lords and brought back in to government?

  71. 71
    Jackanory says:

    …but non of the bastards can sing as good as me!

  72. 72
    Another mad Fife git says:

    Dear Scorched Earth
    Hedoesn’t acrually have to make ‘the mad dash’ to reform – he just has to put it in motion and claim another term in power is needed to see it through. There is an auld Scots saying – ‘You need a lang spoon to sup with a fifer…’

  73. 73
    Aethelred says:

    Balls is replacing Darling because, according to the Tgraph today:

    “Alistair Darling, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, claimed parliamentary expenses for a flat that he let to tenants while also claiming living allowances for his grace and favour home in Downing Street” …

    this follows on from

    “It has already been disclosed that Mr Darling is a “serial flipper” who has designated four properties as his second home in four years. He has also employed an accountant at taxpayers’ expense to complete his self-assessment forms”.

    So Brown is not trying to be clever, he merely realises that the minister responsible for HMRC is a corrupt, thieving dickhead and has to go.

  74. 74
    Snotty says:

    Out of the kindness of my Presbyterian heart (for I am a deeply religious, truthful and moral man), I have seen fit to grant the Queen a day off from her duties, and I, as Life President of North, South, East and West Britain will attend the D-Day Remembrance Ceremony instead.

    Indeed the Queen will be having many more days off in future when the constitutional monarchy is abolished as part of my socialist review of the constitution which will report as close as possible to next May when an election will unfortunately have to be cancelled due to the occurrence of an unexpected dangerous civil contingency, namely attempts to remove me by democratic means from my post.

  75. 75
    Less Than a year to go to the next election says:

    As we enter the month of June, there in no longer ‘years’ to go to the next election. It is now to be measured in months, weeks and days.

    The sands of time will start to run out very quickly as will our beloved leader’s options. Time & Tide stands still for no man (or woman). The clock it ticking. Old father time and the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present & Future are beckoning and the Right Honourable Prime Minister like his friend Jacob Marley will end up walking the Earth forever being nothing but an invisible and lonely ghost.

    I’m already putting up the xmas decorations in celebration. 2010 is going to be one hell of a party. Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock

  76. 76
    One Eyed Scots Idiot - "the popular prejudice runs in favour of two" says:

    corruption ?

  77. 77
    going down the pan says:

    there is no one darker and colder than the prince of darkness the grubby little mincer.

  78. 78
    Harri says:

    It was just a slip of the tongue insists a Drowning street spokesperson he meant “i am not a rogue ant”

  79. 79
    One Eyed Scots Idiot - "the popular prejudice runs in favour of two" says:

    Draper’s wife rimming him earlier. Cow.

  80. 80
    going down the pan says:

    he’s trying to crash into the fee’s office before they see his reciepts .

  81. 81
    Guy Forked says:

    This is the 21st century. Let me introduce you to the Forklift: Two pronged at once with the comfort of a chair.

  82. 82
    Scorched Earth says:

    Hardly all night I had a spare 20mins this morning and none of it is that far fetched it’s simply what I think Brown and Mandy will try because some of it has been trailed for a while now like the reshuffe, the reforms and now what they might include.

    Cameron is doing a very good impression of a man who desperately wants an Election. Is it because he doesn’t want Brown to have year to enact any reforms he isn’t keen on ? Not entirely but it’s certainly crossed his mind by now.

    Mandy backed Blair he doesn’t always back the winnner as he is backing Brown and a Brown victory is still hugely unlikely. Mandy plays the long game and his “loyalty” is to those who employ him. He now has almost complete carte blanche and is back in from the cold. A sleeper for Blair why exactly ? What profit is their in revenge when he can still be a mover and shaker and Blair is yesterday’s man.

    P.O. reforms are Mandy’s baby and a measure of his power that they are still going to try and shove them through. Because if the Conservatives support them the backbenches will be pissing in the wind. Not the first time that has happened.

  83. 83
    One Eyed Scots Idiot - "the popular prejudice runs in favour of two" says:

    Please destroy the labour party on Thursday. ABL
    Get out and vote ..

  84. 84
    Anonymous says:

    @ Jackanory: Lying bastard more like!
    Caption entry: Deluded Dictator & Sorcerer’s Apprentice take unreality check.

    He’s desperate that people don’t vote for the Party that dare not speak its name on Thursday so the best solution, IMHO, is for everyone to vote for them. That’ll convince the rats in his govt that voters no longer listen to Brown & they must take action to get rid of him, otherwise they’ll all lose their jobs when a GE finally comes round – as compared to most of them losing their jobs if they’ve actually got a leader who’s unlikely to be detained under the Mental Health Act.

    For those of you who can’t stomach voting for the Party that dare not speak its name – please get out & vote for someone, anyone apart from Labour so that the percentage of voters is very high – percentage voting for Gordon very low.

  85. 85
    Anonymous says:

    Bl**dy hell. Just read the sky news site about Susan Boyle.

    Apparently the Mentalist was on the phone to Cowell & Piers Morgan last night to “make sure she was OK”

    Now, much as I hate BGT and the car crash TV associated with exploiting Ms Boyle…..

    Hasn’t the Mentalist got better things to do?

    He’s not seen for nearly 10 days, the country is in it worst financial mess for decades, parliament is going through the worst expose for nearly 300 years and it turns out he’s been worried about Britain’s Got Talent contestants?

    Puhhhleeeazzee give me strength.

  86. 86
    Frank says:

    I think you are right, Brown will not resign and will remain after the next election. Civil war within the Labour party will result and it will break into at least two factions.

    What we are watching is the beginning of the final break up of the Labour party, which should have happened pre Blair.

    We have a lot to thank Gordon for and now someone will have to sort out Dave

  87. 87
    David's Turkey says:

    It’s quite easy, listening to Brown, to see how Hitler got away with it for so long.

    There is an air of untouchability surrounding leaders that journalists of all persuasions need to get over for the good of the country.

  88. 88
    The Admiral says:

    Keep saying this…. “You couldn’t make it up”….


  89. 89
    Anonymous says:

    Yes, a bit difficult to get upstairs if you’re storming a building like HoC though.

  90. 90
    One Eyed Scots Idiot - "the popular prejudice runs in favour of two" says:

    If that was the case he’d do the same with all the others.
    I suggest the media have been activated to soften up trash Darling’s support before he’s replaced with Balls-Up. Darling won’t be a threat on backbenches but Blears might be.
    Rejoice – the end is nigh

  91. 91
    The BBC is full of left wing wankers says:

    Wow I see McSnot faced the wrath of the public this morning……. well OK he was on GMTV.

    Hattie Dykeperson is going to be on with Nicki Campbell. So expect a Nu Liebour love fest at 9AM.

  92. 92
    Harri says:

    Nah, its fuck all to with pressure , she has gone in for some serious bastard waxing, Susan has now after some 24 hours of extensive treatment and some scaffold erecting almost had her back completed , the team of waxers are to make start on her bikini line after the swelling has gone down?

  93. 93

    You are very, very boring and long winded. Have you thought of getting your own blog? Rather than boring Guido’s readers and ruining a gossip blog. This is not a place for policy analysis on proportional representation.

  94. 94
    Anonymous says:

    Of course not Tweek – those are the very people he wants in govt – based on current performance.

  95. 95
    Alex Salmaon is the best English PM we never had says:

    She’s Scottish, he’s got to think of the SNP.

  96. 96
    Dr Feelgood says:

    Toenails on Toady just now:

    “No sign of the Prime Minister cracking up” – ha ha ha ha …. ffs

  97. 97
    Wholly, exclusively and necessarily says:

    Absolutely right.

    We have the most dangerous government in recent history; unafraid of electoral wipeout, since it’s going to happen anyway and desperate to salvage something reputationally out of the whole New Labour project.

    Watch for one-clause legislation to reform the Lords, introduce a constitution, abolish selective education, changes to the monarchy, disestablishment of the church – anything to attract the attention of the core Left and give them something to nurse to themselves as they enter a long dark night of the soul – well at best two or three terms well away from power. Sitting and outgoing Labour MPs have no reason to vote against any of this; since they can’t do anything about the wipeout to come, they may well revert to the politics of principle, assuming they can remember what their principles were.

    The hallmark will be similar to that of the Brown attempt to reform the expenses system just before the telegraph went public; instant, eye-catching rushed solutions pushed through, unthought out and without much regard for the long term consequences, since they won’t be around to have to pick up the pieces. A bit like their handling of the economy, come to think of it.

    Be depressed; be very depressed …

  98. 98
    An unspeakably vile, sanctimonious, bullying, snot-nosed little shit, says:

    Aye! th’s i’ ma’ week sur’ enu’

    Arl’ tha’ tof’ jes’as ar’ gon’nae git tha’ cum’upance!

    Ar’ gae’ jus’ tha’ shil’ on bordy


    Cos’ it’s mae’ relig’un ye’ knoo’

    An’ nuth’ns ma’ fult ye unna’stan’




    Yes, I’m gonna show all those tory toffs and champagne socialists who’s really in charge.

    And I’ve got just the man with me to make sure it happens, – Bollocks by nature, language, and name.

    Could be a clone of me.

    It’s my religion you know – sanctimonious git, leavened with righteousness, – suicide and taking everyone with me.

    Nothing is my fault of course – people still don’t see that! They will when I sink them!


    More absolute bollocks by the arsehole who has brought the country and most people to moral and financial bankruptcy, – now intending to finish the job. Here’s hoping he takes the loony-left with him to the bottom.]

  99. 99
    Moley. says:

    Lord Mandelson is intelligent enough to have realised that his future life and career will be more favourable if he is detached from the train crash that is the Brown premiership.

    Mandelson’s loyalties are to himself and he has the security of being an unelected peer which sets him completely apart from the rest of the Cabinet.
    He could easily be the one to lead a rebellion because he has the most security of employment. He has a future in the House of Lords and could easily return to the EU. In addition, he could well have ambitions to reform the Labour Party, become its new Leader and go down in the history books as its saviour.

    Mandelson’s interests and Brown’s interests are not the same and they never were. It is just a question of who gets the knife out first.

  100. 100
    An Aussie says:

    You Poms are the most gutless bastards its been my misfortune ever to come across. Your’e shafted front and back and still do nothing but twatter on to each other. Show some balls. Those old boys at Normandy had some.

  101. 101
    Nightmare at the Manse says:

    I blame his “Presbyterian Conscience” myself !!!

  102. 102
    Guy Fopar says:

    I’m with you. Where can one buy a good pitchfork these days?

  103. 103
    Harri says:

    Rimming is that the same as felching ?

    Apparently you have to drink a couple of litres of cranberry juice after to take the taste away ?

  104. 104
    Anonymous says:

    I do hope they broadcast where McSnot is meeting with MPs today to explain why Queeny isn’t going to France. I can only imagine there will be great humiliation for Dear Leader & I want to savour that. Hope someone captures it for YouTube.

  105. 105
    Sunonmars says:

    Who wants to bet that if they try to oust Brown next week, Brown will do a big middle finger and call a GE as a last act of defiance.

  106. 106
    non-jobs for me says:

    I wouldn’t get out of bed for that.

  107. 107
    Harold Larwood says:

    Now you know that is not true

  108. 108
    Anonymous says:

    No doubt he’d also sent her a ‘Good Luck’ message beforehand. I do hope she recovers OK.

  109. 109
    Anonymous says:

    Re: D Day. As Brown told Marr the Queen only had to ask and “I would personally have got her an invitation !” I bet Phil had some trenchant comments to make on that one to Her Maj over Sunday Breakfast. As a guess I say it would be two words first one starting with F and the second with T.

    The trouble is Brown genuinely thinks he IS more important constitutionally than the Queen !!!

  110. 110
    A very capitalist revolution says:

    Can we not just get a few men in to clean the trough for us and put it on expenses?

    These people specialise in trough cleaning:

  111. 111
    Tick Boxer (jus' keepin' on tickin' them boxes - it's me Noo-Lying-Bore trainin' y'kno, innit) : says:

    Bliar (1) gone [ v ]

    ‘Third Way’ bullshit gone [ v ]

    Bliar (2) gone [ v ]

    Gorbals gone [ v ]

    Mr ‘2 jags ‘n mock tudor shags’ Prezza gone [ v ]

    Blind ‘Shagalot’ Pugh gone [ v ] back [ ] gone [ v ] back [ ]

    m’Lud MincyBum gone [ v ] back [ ] gone [ v ] back [ ] gone [ v ] back [ ]

    Cinq-Bellies going . . . . going . . . [ ]

    Baroness Udder of Gravy-Train [ ]

    ‘Neo-Endogenous’ bullshit gone [ v ] coming back [ ]

    Parasitical + verminous MPs [ ]

    ‘Britain-best-placed’ bullshit [ ]

    Mad Jock McSnotty, the Kirkaldy Twatty [ ]

    OTHERS :

    Arselickers [ ]

    Arsewipers [ ]

    Jobsworths [ ]

    Quangocrats [ ]

    Filthy infected hospitals [ ]

    Local Authority claptrap, waste, and mindless interference [ ]

    AlJaBeeba [ ]

    EUSSR [ ]

    British ‘envy of the world’ crap educashun + exam system [ ]

    Junk qualifications [ ]

    Banal Job Titles [ ]

    Rubbish ‘Universities’ (sic) [ ]

    Thought Police [ ]

    Bin Inspectors [ ]

    Compliance Officers [ ]

  112. 112
    One Eyed Scots Idiot - "the popular prejudice runs in favour of two" says:

    He’s not worried – he’s a sick, sick, opportunist.
    Did same with Goody and any other popular character who may reflect some public goodwill onto the tosser if his goodwill message can get into the media.
    He has no feelings for anyone except himself – and I really mean ANYONE.
    The man has no redeeming features at all – and this ZanuLabour crowd let him walk straight in and destroy our nation.
    Repent in leisure you utter b*stards.
    You deserve everything that’s coming your collective way.

  113. 113
    Dr Feelgood says:

    This was just reported on R4 9AM news too.

    Scary that some people’s votes could be swung by such nonsense – I’d guess they have market research data to prove it’s worthwhile.

  114. 114
    Anonymous says:

    Wonderful! So all those troughing MPs who’ve said they’ll stand down at the next GE get to go now rather than next year & go with emptier pockets. I’m seriously thinking of taking some time off to leaflet drop etc for the SNP in Snotty’s constituency when there is a GE.

  115. 115
    Eyebrows in Vigorous Denial says:

    Well I was born in the Boro and we have the best MP that money can buy. We just don’t like the half pint shandy drinkers rubbishing a place they wouldn’t dare come to on the basis of something they read in the Sun.

    And it’s God’s Country.

  116. 116
    Lizzie says:

    Brown clearly has mental health problems, they have just put Susan Boyle in a clinic for her own safety, Brown will be next, send the men in white coats to Downing Street as soon as possible. Brown is the PM, and he has messed Britain up beyond belief, his economic policies have runied a great economy. If his own cabinet don’t remove him the people of Britain need to have Brown certified as mad.

  117. 117
    Scorched Earth says:

    A Labour Civil war is not inevitable but it is possible.
    Much will depend on how bad the results are and how the Newscycle turns.

    Because another thing people seem to be forgetting is that a massive UKIP vote will have repercussions beyond showing how little support Brown has.

    UKIP will be front and centre of Politics for a while because of this and as a result Cameron will have to deal with his Eurosceptics again as I have little doubt they will feel that “the future belongs to us” after UKIP’s big vote.

    Will Cameron budge and change the European Policy that has held the Party together this long ? I can’t see it myself and I think he has enough support to quash any rebellious grumblings. I could be wrong though. But grumblings about Europe there will be and no doubt Tebbit for one is spoiling for a fight. Again this hardly means a full scale Tory Civil War over Europe is inevitable but it has happened before.

  118. 118
    Jackanory says:

    “As you know, if Alister Darling had done anything wrong he would be the first to admit it”
    Guess who said that on Toady?
    Oh shit, this is becoming Alice in Wonderland stuff!

  119. 119
    Moley. says:

    His slitty eyed stare at Andrew Marr was radiating the message; “Cross the line and I’ll have you killed”.

  120. 120
    Labour Spokesperson says:

    A Pre – Election Announcement by the Labour Parteh.

    Whatever the result, they are not half as bad as we expected.

  121. 121
    Sunonmars says:

    Oh I reckon there is going to be knives out, don’t you believe otherwise, Blears and Darling on the backbenches is going to be bad because Brown is going to try and blame the economic problems on Darling, you watch.

  122. 122
    Dr. Raj PerFraud says:

    Brown to be sectioned – quartered, diced and feed to dogs.

  123. 123
    Lizzie says:

    Ed Balls couldn’t control social workers, how is he going to deal with economics? Britain is going mad under this stupid Labour government, please someone out there get a grip!

  124. 124
    Anonymous says:

    My guess is that we won’t have to wait that long – more likely early October 2009.

    Johnson will go to the country within 100 days of being made Prime Minister

  125. 125
    Gordon Brown - the Agent of Chaos says:


  126. 126
    Fausty says:

    Doesn’t tinkering with the voting system amount to a constitutional change? If so, MPs can’t just decide to change it – any proposed changes must be put to a referendum.

  127. 127
    Nemo says:

    Did you hear him on the Today programme (1/6/09)? Seemed to me he has completely lost the plot. He said he wanted the Commons reformed twenty years ago, it was just no one would listen to him. He did, however, hint the BBC expenses would be in the mix that is to be investigated.

  128. 128
    Garden supplies says:

    We may have to postpone the revolution for a while due to the lack of availability of pitchforks.

    There are only three available on Ebay at the moment, that’s really not enough to attempt a full scale bloody revolution.


    * Most people have a garden fork or spade in their shed. Would that not do?

    * I might be able to organise a boatload of pitchforks from Libya

    * Garden trowels are in plentiful supply

    * Secateurs might do for up close and personal work?

  129. 129
    Bingo says:

    I didn’t think it possible for Brown to become even more like a crazed and mad dictator in some imaginary tin pot socialist state, but hey, he has managed just that.

    Gordon Brown = divorced from all reality (as about as polite as I can be).

  130. 130
    Barry Mackenzie says:

    Blood oath! I’m Australian. It’s the greatest little humdinger of a c*ntry in the world. Beaut sandy beaches, lovely juicy steaks, decent church-going buggers all over the place and clean-living Sheilas who root like rattle snakes and can’t pass a prick.

  131. 131
    The Admiral says:

    Oh my poor Susan. That’s all you need is Jonah’s best wishes…….

    My heart goes out to you, truly…..x

  132. 132
    Daddy I want to be an MP when I grow up says:

    EasyJet scraps plans for in-flight weddings


    What’s the relevance, think of the cartoon.

  133. 133
    going down the pan says:

    how can this panda faced twat make millions for himself by cooking the books yet fuck up the economy for the rest of us ?

  134. 134
    alex taylor says:

    Sorry Pendent, that would suggest courage, its Broon the fuckwit your talking about

  135. 135
    Talwin says:

    “..possibly inevitable”??

  136. 136
    Scorched Earth says:

    God forbid we should veer into Political analysis on a Political blog rather than mindless abuse Guido. You are quite correct.

    Brown is a one eyed scottish HOON!!!!

    He’s bugnuts babbling crazy and is “rumoured” to be having an affair with a recently inducted famous singer who is sharing a room with him in a rather exclusive “Priority” location.

    Happy now ?

  137. 137
    Anonymous says:

    I hope to God that McTwat doesn’t chicken out at the last minute and does appoint Balls as Chancellor – the Labour party will implode – the Blairites hate Ed’s guts and are already plotting to bring Brown down if Balls gets the job. Great ! And we also have Friday morning and then Monday to look forward to when Labour gets fucked at the local and euro elections!!!!!

    Oh….things can only get better….!!!

  138. 138
    Andy Carpark says:

    But would he leave Yvette Cooper as Financial Secretary to the Treasury? That would make her Balls’s biatch which would surely never do.

  139. 139
    Gecko says:

    Ah, but Hitler DID win an election so actually had at least some mandate…unlike this tosser.

  140. 140
    Frank Crook MP British Communist Party says:

    Them kamikazis were right fucking brave not like them fucking leadswingers in that poncy Battle of Britain. Them fuckers don’t deserve a fiver. Now the
    Red Army raping their way to Belrin, them were proper men.

  141. 141
    Lizzie says:

    As I keep saying a march is needed to Downing Street, the people must tell Brown and his Brownies to go, just keep it peaceful folks! If a million people marched to DS surely Brown would get the message, “give us a general election”.

  142. 142
    Sunonmars says:

    well Brown wants to fight an election, he wont go until he has fought one so in his mind, if they try to sack him, he could just order a GE straightaway. He’s that much of a spacker.

    Hence him trying a reshuffle on Friday, question is, is there anyone who wants to reshuffle, will they want to go anywhere or will Brown just fill it with the last of his cretinous toadies. Brown is I bet going to make it way worse for himself by doing just that.

    Last days of the bunker my friends.

  143. 143
    going down the pan says:

    he’s not seen out of one eye for 50 years listen ! gordon can spot a good bit of scotch totty from a mile off cant spot a recession though twat !

  144. 144
    Anonymous says:

    Fear not, I would sooner chop my penis off with a lawnmower than vote NuLabour.

  145. 145
    Scorched Earth says:

    BTW they seem to be showing their boredom in a very odd way by discussing the subject. But that is no doubt my boring imagination.

    I look forward to Thick as Thieves joining in this thread and returning it to normality as I’m sure do most of your other readers.

  146. 146
    Tattooed_Arry says:

    I hope the Veterans turn their backs on him.
    Or refuse to parade in front of him – why should they? – he’s not our Head of State – yet….

  147. 147
    Sunonmars says:

    Well like he’s admitted the truth on the economy. “rolls eyes”

  148. 148
    Moley. says:

    Political leadership depends on friendships, personal relationships, the granting of favours, threats and vulnerabilities.

    A Leader elected by the current Parliamentary Labour Party may be unacceptable to the Labour MPs in a newly elected Government, may lack the levers to be an effective leader, and may have policies which conflict with those of the new intake.

    The reign of a new Labour Leader will be short and messy.

    To a lesser extent, Cameron has the same problem. It will be a good sign if he shows he is ready for the challenge and it will be a real test for him.

  149. 149
    Anonymous says:

    Perghaps Her Maj might like to consider the wishes of the voters (how many petitions out there now?) & dissolve Parliament – that’d show him who’s more important.

  150. 150
    Lizzie says:

    Things can only get better when their all gone!

  151. 151
    Robc says:

    So why is he replacing him with another one?

  152. 152
    Australia = Theme Park says:


  153. 153
    Harri says:

    Have you got an airport ?

  154. 154
    Anonymous says:

    That’ll soon all change as you’ve now voted in a Socialist govt. Your boy – the midget one with specs – is already making a name for himself internationally as a complete & utter hoon (guess he’s been taking lessons from Gordon)

  155. 155
    Enuf says:

    That about sums up Britain, you are all off to the slaughter without a fight.

  156. 156
    Talwin says:

    Kamikaze pilot? Christ, he can’t even drive.

    Saving jobs? He’s never had one.

    Prebyterian conscience? Surrounded by sleaze and smearing.

    Bringing us through the economic crisis? Yeah, when he’s caused it.

    Fairness and redistribution of wealth? Redistributing our wealth to bankers, big business and Westminster.

    He always wanted to be prime minister? Well, he was. The worst ever. Bar none.

  157. 157
    RSPCA Inspector says:

    Oi! I’ll have you up for animal cruelty & deliberate poisoning.

  158. 158
    Harri says:

    Its Mmm mmm mmm mm Mr Desperate Dan if you dont mind

  159. 159
    Out the Faerie Quene of Kirkcaldy says:

    And Australia’s just elected a Labour government with a homosexual as PM. You’ve got it all to come.

    G’Day now!

  160. 160
    a REAL Socialist says:

    HEY Guido you missed the Prime Mentalist giving Susan Boyle the kiss of death

  161. 161
    Scorched Earth says:

    Thanks Talwin that was indeed dumb.
    “I personally think they are Inevitable” would have been better as these are just my opinions like most on a blog so there is no certainty attached.

  162. 162
    Darling paid 75p for a carrier bag says:

    The Chancellor of the Exchequer was reimbursed for a £1,000 service charge bill on his flat in south London that covered up to six months after he had moved out and begun letting the property to tenants.

    He also continued to bill taxpayers for £1,200 worth of food while he was designating his grace-and-favour apartment in Downing Street as his second home.

    …Just weeks after moving in, he spent £4,995 on furniture, magnolia carpets and a television and put through all the bills on his second home allowance. This included a two-seat sofa and a chaise longue from Ikea, costing £765, as well as kitchenware, bed linen, vases, tea towels, an oven mitt and a 75p carrier bag.


  163. 163
    Anonymous says:

    How about ‘Gordon Brown, completely off his trolley fuckwit’ – that polite enough, while making all the salient points?

  164. 164
    Team GB says:

    Yeah, cause like that worked with the Iraq war protest didn’it…

  165. 165
    Talwin says:

    He’ll probably amend the constitution on Youtube.

  166. 166
    They saw him coming says:

    This isn’t just any carrier bag, this is an M&S carrier bag

  167. 167
    Anonymous says:

    It’s just the lowest of the low I think.

    What about that woman who is supposedly too stupid to look after her own kid? Did the Mentalist phone her up?

    Does he phone up Afhgan civilians?

    Much as I think Blair is a tosser, not even he would stoop this low to try and get coverage.

    Where’s your f***ing moral compass you complete idiot???

  168. 168
    Anonymous says:

    ‘The reign of a new Labour Leader will be short and messy.’

    Can’t see any problem with that myself, Moley.

  169. 169
    anon says:

    Boy wonder is doing the same to you mob. Every Labour Government, irrespective of the Country it governs, has destroyed the economy.

  170. 170
    Anonymous says:

    It bored the pants off me too after 2 or 3 lines.

  171. 171
    Tattooed_Arry says:

    Not a chance, he’d just call out the dogs and “kettle” the whole thing – don’t forget they’ve had 12yrs to fill the upper eschelons of the Police with New Labour placemen/women.
    Put their jobs/expenses on the line to support the people of this country, or obey Their Master’s Voice, they wouldn’t hesitate for a moment.

  172. 172
    Anonymous says:

    If the criteria for being sectioned is “acting strangely” how is it our glorious leader is still walking the streets.

  173. 173

    First thing on Monday morning I do not want to read hundreds of words about proportional representation under a cartoon about an entirely different topic.

    This is a gossip blog – fuck off and get your own blog.

  174. 174
    Anonymous says:

    Er….I think we beat you to that one.

  175. 175
    Anonymous says:

    And the surprise element to this story is….? We know they’re all thieving c**ts.

  176. 176
    nell says:

    It’s the Veterans I feel really grieved for. It’s their day and their memories that are being commemorated, and Gordon wants to use it as a means to grandstand with Obama. He has no respect for them or the sacrifices they made to keep this country safe. And look what he’s done to their legacy!!!

    Imagine having to march past him and salute. Well I hope they don’t !!! – I hope they simply march past and ignore him – shame him in front of Obama and Monsieur ‘dimunitive everywhere’ Sarkozy.

  177. 177
    Anonymous says:

    Why “keep it peaceful”…

    It’s time their cages were really rattled..

  178. 178
    Twizzle says:

    Don’t be so sure.

    Brown has had quite a few months to sort out the postal ballots as this election has been planned for a number of years. If they can print £125bn worth of pound notes in 3 months, the printing of ballot papers is a piece of cake.

  179. 179
    Anonymous says:

    What was diverse about ‘Diversity’?
    Only difference I saw was that one had a wild harstyleeee.

  180. 180
    Star Chamber says:

    He just wanted to know, how after a Global hype it felt like to lose.

  181. 181
    Housing Hubba Bubba says:

    The BBc would probably spin that march as ‘a spontaneous celebration of 12 years of NuLabour success’.

  182. 182
    Anonymous says:

    F***ing hell.

    Just listened to the mentalist on the Today re-run.

    He said “y’know”

    Is it just me or is he trying to appear more like Tony Blair every day?

    The Youtube fiasco.

    The body movements when speaking

    That smile

    ….and now the “y’know” line.

    I honestly have seen a shift in how he performs in the media recently.

    And as with any “tribute band” (much as I hate Blair); he’s just not the same thing.

  183. 183
    loony says:

    “Britain is going mad under this stupid Labour government,”

    That’ll be McTwat leading from the top down.

  184. 184
    Twizzle says:

    ‘well Brown wants to fight an election,…’

    Yeah, course he does. Obvious really isn’t it. Root and branch terror on anyone who dared to vote against him in taking over from Bliar. A complete cop out in October when he would have won with an even bigger majority.

    And now this. Brown wants to fight an election? Never has and never will. We’ll NEVER have another GE in this country whilst Brown remains PM.


  185. 185
    Harri says:

    What like we did in World war I and World war II ?

    Dont be fooled by all the apathy , the British can turn to Brutish when pushed hard enough ! and make no mistake about it.

  186. 186
    Anonymous says:

    Not with Broons head clearly visible on top of a stake – with Eyebrows severed appendage protruding from his moth..

  187. 187
    Scorched Earth says:

    That’s more like it Guido.
    I was beginning to think you had lost your touch.

    Would “Go Fuck YOURself thanks” be the appropriate response here ?

    And very little was on PR but I understand why the subject upsets you.

    I won’t make the mistake of thinking you welcomed contributions again.

  188. 188
    Anonymous says:

    Did he not say ‘I’m not Adam Ant?’

  189. 189
    An Aussie says:

    Its true our poli’s are scum but we know that and keep them on a tight line. You blokes are loosing your Country. Do something before its too late.

  190. 190
    Anonymous says:

    has his wife not the courage to tell him what a twat he is making of himself?

  191. 191
    Old Man says:

    You Australia fuckers are a one joke nation, you laugh every time you use the word “Poms” …fuck off.

  192. 192
    Anonymous says:

    Its his Siamese sister, Why shouldnt he be worried?

  193. 193
    Anonymous says:

    She can sing to Jade.

  194. 194
    Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

    From Labourlist, showing that they are determined to go down fighting and that Labour are still the party most trusted with the big moral issues facing us.

    Is this the issue around which they can regroup and rebuild? What do you think dear readers

    …..New poll reveals 56% still see Tories as “nasty party” on hunting….

  195. 195
    The Admiral says:

    Sorry to disagree but at least SE can spell (mostly) and doesn’t resort to c*ap e.t.c.

    Surely you’re in favour of free speech…..?

  196. 196
    Harri says:

    Well you have impressed me ! you either have very very long grass or your hung like a camel ?

  197. 197
    Enuf says:

    How many referendums has the UK had in say the last 50yrs? 1 ?

    Democracy my arse.

  198. 198
    Sunonmars says:

    I’m all for hunting…..hunting down “nasty” labour mp’s.

  199. 199
    Dr Feelgood says:

    Iain Dale has got a good post on this:


    Results from completely flawed research methodology.

  200. 200
    Anonymous says:

    She made a twat of herself marrying theHunt

  201. 201
    krusty mcsquak says:

    Balls for Chancellor? This smacks of defeatism to me. McTwat just wants to give his brown noser chum a go on the train set before mummy turns the lights out.

  202. 202
    The Green Shoots of Recovery are here says:

    £ just gone through the 1.64 barrier against the dollar, FTSE 100 up nearly 2% this morning.

    The labour red geraniums and flowering in the blistering hot summer sun.

    It’s all over bar the shouting, another 4 years of Gordon Zebedee Bounce Brown.

    boing, boing, boing.

  203. 203
    Housing Hubba Bubba says:

    Marr would claim the PM had never looked so good, while showing you stock footage of Gordon waving from the steps of number 10.

  204. 204
    Enuf says:

    Manhandlebum is a horrible disgusting pervert & well named as the prince of darkness.

  205. 205
    Dead Cat says:

    You reckon I’ve had my last bounce then?

  206. 206
    Percy Thrower says:

    From the bark and roots of a fallen dead tree, green sucker shoots and mushrooms will grow, an indication that the dead tree is decomposing.

    The key word “sucker”.

  207. 207
    Catosays says:

    Rumour has it that Darling is going to be Home Secretary…..he knows a lot about homes.

    Meanwhile, where’s Jackboots going?

  208. 208
    Catosays says:

    It defies belief that not one of this shower of shit has the cojones to stand up to this madman and throw him out.

    It can’t be that difficult can it?

  209. 209
    Enuf says:

    How is Blair yesterdays man? he seems to be setting himself up as tomorrows man re the EUSSR.
    Blair should be strung up with the Hartlepool monkey alongside him.

  210. 210
    Thats News says:

    “Banzaii” or Bananazz?

  211. 211
    An Aussie says:

    Old Man – correct, we laugh.

  212. 212
    Enuf says:

    All very good these long winded posts, but isn’t it about time the people got off their arses & realised there are not many people in the House of Conmen who actually have the interests of the British people first & foremost?

  213. 213
    M.T.BUCKET says:

    He is a fkuin highway man though and certainly not prince charming.

  214. 214
    A Pensioner says:

    Lets be brutal – she came second with Carla

  215. 215
    freddie flintoff says:

    i got a shootgun and the barmy army

  216. 216
    Enuf says:


  217. 217
    Andy Carpark says:

    Adolescent society; adolescent attitudes.

  218. 218
    Catosays says:

    Problem with being an Aussie and living upside down is that you consistently talk out of your arse.

  219. 219
    M.T.BUCKET says:

    I believe the done thing is to turn their heads away as they march past him.

  220. 220
    babelfisherman says:

    万歳 負債の

    (“Ten thousand years!!! of debt!”)

  221. 221
    Sticky Bun says:

    Why stop at ‘Boro’ the whole of the fucking North East could go and us Southern shandy drinking poofters can finally stop paying for you, you useless, talentless bunch of utter losers.

  222. 222
    Steve Blunt says:

    Yes, it’s God’s country in a Sodom and Gamorrah sort of way

  223. 223
    Sir Arthur Strebe-Greebling says:

    Under a cartoon about Ed Balls, if you search the page (Ctrl-F) for “ed balls” or “balls” the first match is comment number 124.

    Start another thread please Guido – this one hasn’t really addressed the topic.

  224. 224
    Enuf says:

    Labour motto, vote early vote often.

  225. 225
    Alan Bread says:

    Yes I heard that too, it must have been about the same time that he wanted global financial reform, but yet again no-one would listen to his wisdom.

  226. 226
    Enuf says:

    It’s good for Britain more diversity…groan.

  227. 227
    TOO FAR says:

    For fucks sake, look at the obvious, Brown is surrounded by totally incompetant ministers and front bench tossers…NO ONE ABLE TO RUN THIS COUNTRY.
    Only thieves and chancers.
    Any sensible labour MP, and there must be a few, Frank Field comes to mind would be mad to join the front bench. Mixing with that lot of total wankers would finish their career.
    This labour government is TOAST and they know it. Unfortunatly they will not do the honest thing and save the UK from farther damage AND GO.
    Gorden Brown is under considerable strain and is just not up to the job along with the rest of his cronys.
    Yes, I honestly think he is off his rocker, raving mad…. NURSE!!!!!!

  228. 228
    salty balls says:

    or nackers

  229. 229
  230. 230
    Susie says:

    Yep not a bullingdon toff amongst them.

  231. 231
    Harri says:

    Or shame ?

  232. 232
    Enuf says:

    Winterval you racist bastard.

  233. 233
    Harri says:

    I bet he would not go to Middlesbrough.

    Its always fucking raining ?

  234. 234
  235. 235
    Mad as a box of frogs says:

    You just watch – come the next general Election, Labour and the Happy Clappy Lim Dems will join forces to try and block any Tory Bill. It’s the only way ‘leg over Clegg’ can get his lousy party into any kind of national Government – mark my words, they are good bed pals of Labour – always have been – don’t vote for them!

  236. 236
    Mad as a box of frogs says:

    How come Tony BLIAR’s expenses got shredded then? So much for the freedom of information act – Oh sorry – forgot, his Wife is a Human Rights Lawyer, so she probably told him to destroy the evidence! Also, when is he going to do the job he’s paid so handsomely for – i.e., middle east envoy! He daren’t set foot in the bloody region – talk about money for old rope AND TALKING OF OLD ROPE – anybody got a piece to string the bastard up?

  237. 237
    salty balls says:

    he must have a chopper like an elephant

  238. 238
    applause says:

    “Gibraltar will be Spanish, the Falklands will be Argentinian and the Chancellor will be the IMF”


  239. 239
    M.T.BUCKET says:

    Reading browns comments darling is a ”has been.”

  240. 240
    applause says:

    another gurning, smirking, shoulder shaker movie? Yipeee.

  241. 241
    Anonymous says:

    re jackboots


  242. 242
    Anonymous says:

    Shit stinks, they don’t want to get their hands dirty.

  243. 243
    Susie says:

    Which dogs? The local hunt kennels wouldn’t touch him. Fed to pigs would be more apt — like that Hannibal Lector film.

  244. 244
    Enuf says:

    Silly buggers, we only have em voted in every 3 years you have em for 5.
    Yes we have a wanker at the helm now, but he will get punted soon enough.
    But we ain’t as deep in the shit as you are & that is a fact.

  245. 245
    Anonymous says:

    Perhaps she would do an “off with his head ” moment

  246. 246
    Susie says:

    And third with Michelle.

  247. 247
    albacore says:

    Quite right. You just heard it from the horse’s mouth. Target audience has the attention span of a blancmange and not enough nous to figure out that they’re bored until they’ve silently mouthed the very last syllable of the, erm, boring posts.
    This is Guido’s blog. Don’t anybody forget it!
    And just remember to vote for those lovely UKIP people like Guido says, too.

  248. 248
    Anonymous says:

    We pigs don’t want him either throw him to the sharks

  249. 249
    Anonymous says:

    and 46th with everyone else

  250. 250
    Moley. says:

    Me neither.

  251. 251
    michael says:

    just get out and vote on thursday,michael

  252. 252
    Anonymous says:

    And a big spoon to shovel up his shit!

  253. 253
    sed miles says:

    There is one way to force an early General Election: if all the Tory MPs who will not be restanding were to resign immediately. There is no way upwards of a dozen constituencies could be left without representation until next year, and if there were a dozen bye-elections going on the call for a General Election would become too loud to ignore. It would be a brave and risky strategy for the Tories, but it would be proof that they were putting country before Party; and it would also be a way for the disgraced MPs to salvage some scrap of personal honour.

  254. 254
    sed miles says:

    Ed Balls? I thought the guy in the bandana was the Prince of Darkness.

  255. 255
    Susie says:

    I don’t think the hunting fraternity have actually murdered anyone so far (although they tend to be killed falling off their horses) whereas the League decapitated Trevor Morse with their gyrocopter a couple of months ago.


    Who’s the ‘nasty party’ here?

  256. 256
    salty balls says:

    the rats are in charge of the cheese cuboard

  257. 257
    Moley. says:

    “Not the Nine o Clock News” had a brilliant take on opinion polls.

    “When asked, nine out of ten dog owners preferred Pedigree Chum”.

    the question;

    “Would you prefer a red hot poker stuck up your bottom to feeding your dog on Pedigree Chum?”

    The League against Cruel Sports used the same technique and published the results, not the question.

  258. 258
    Afghanistan Banana stand says:

    Incompetent sycophantic speaker of the House gone [v]

  259. 259
    Mary Hinge says:

    Election 3 June 2010.
    You read it here first.

  260. 260
    Susie says:

    Come on Your Maj. Dissolve it, citing Brown’s usurping your role as Head of State next week at the D-Day anniversry and therefore committing High Treason.

  261. 261
    Tattooed_Arry says:

    I’m waiting for the Kim Jong-Il “perm” to materialize.

  262. 262
    Moley. says:

    Rewrite as.

    Dollar crashes.

    Serious doubt about the USA’s ability to drive the world out of recession.

    The green shoots are growing on a corpse.

  263. 263
    Anonymous says:

    There is an opportune moment for NuLabs dissidents to ditch Brown coming up soon. Why not wait until the Scottish Scunner is away in France sucking up to messrs Sarkozy and Obama and make their move then?

    It would be quite funny to watch the man leave these shores as PM(Unelected) and return as an ordinary citizen (Booted Out!). Or better still he might choose to stay away permanently – could apply to Sarkozy for political asylum, if they were foolish enough to want him!

  264. 264
    Mary Hinge says:

    You forgot to mention the flies.

  265. 265
    Mary Hinge says:

    And the huge increase in the Tory vote is in fact a loss for them as we announced beforehand that it would be even bigger. WE WIN!

  266. 266
    Anonymous says:

    Brown has a simple move which would at one instant restore his position.

    Announce it was a mistake to renage upon the promise of a referendum on the Lisbon Treaty and arrange for a referendum to take place immediately, scuppering the hopes of the EU Obergauleiters attempts to close off the issue by forcing the Irish to change their wishes and elect to continue under the regime that has done so much to destroy their economy and well being!

    That move would leave all the other parties floundering, and be hugely popular with the UK electorate – the streets might even ring to chorus’s of “For He’s a jolly good fellow!”

  267. 267
    Moth Liberation Front says:

    Oi! Cruelty to moths!

  268. 268
    Moley. says:

    On the one hand Guido is right, it is long and boring, but on the other if all this blog consisted of was five hundred people saying

    “Brown’s a cnut”,

    no one would read it, and it would simply become a lavatory wall where people gratified themselves by writing rude words.

    I try and make short contributions formatted to be easily readable.

    There is no point in consistently using a whip on a horse unless you have made it clear which way you want it to go. When man and horse become one, the whip is no longer necessary or in the least bit desirable.

    I expect Guido will shout at me for that too. I won’t be offended if he reads this post and then removes it.

  269. 269
    Tattooed_Arry says:

    I thought along similar lines but the most likely outcome would be a Lib-Lab pact – “to do otherwise would cause Chaos”.
    The Lib-Dems are after all the Labour party under a different name – I believe most of the old “Liberal” party have left in disgust or as a result of “natural wastage”. They may not be “New Labour” but their hatred of The Conservative party remains nevertheless.
    Take a look at what happened in march ’77, there are parallels with the current situation, when “Oily” Jim Callaghan faced a vote of no confidence, against the background of a resurgent Conservative party led by Margaret Thatcher. The inevitable Conservative landslide was held off for two years (the pact being dissolved in 1978) whilst the Lib-Lab pact and the unions destroyed what was left of the economy.

  270. 270
    Tattooed_Arry says:

    Mandelssohn would never allow it.

  271. 271
    Susan Boyle says:

    Not at all. The clinic people say that Gordon Brown was in last week and I’m in his room. Fancy that, sleeping in the Prime Minister’s bed! I’d better put on my new suspenders.

  272. 272
    Anonymous says:

    I find the title ‘Lord Mandelson’ to be highly offensive. Please revert to the much more pleasing ‘Lord Fumblebum of Boy’ if you don’t mind.

  273. 273
    albacore says:

    The “Ohka” rocket-propelled, kamikaze-piloted bomb had to be released from a parent aircraft.
    Even the fanatical Japanese of WWII could have found no aircrew daft enough to ride shotgun on a ton of explosives with Brown’s palsied hands at the controls.

  274. 274
    The ref says:

    Guido, leave Scorched Earth alone. His comments are among the most interesting on this blog. If you disagree with them then make your argument.

  275. 275
    Henry Crun says:

    He would if it was raining men

  276. 276
    Henry Crun says:

    That’s not a lawnmower. That’s your wife’s muff trimmer.

  277. 277
    Henry Crun says:

    Course not, which is why he sent Harriet Hatemen along to the FiveLive studios this morning to face the wrath of the electorate.

  278. 278
    Henry Crun says:

    I find it incredibly amusing that the Australian border police now turn away anyone with a criminal record trying to enter Australia. Time was a criminal record was a prequisite to entry….happy days.

  279. 279
    Henry Crun says:

    Yvette could be appointed the Housing Minister.

  280. 280
    Jimmy says:

    99p. Zero bids. I hope they have day jobs.

  281. 281
    Moley. says:

    The famous coup while the leader is out of the Country.

    Memo to immigration.

    Don’t let him back in.

  282. 282
    The Wasp says:

    Us Brits are a bit gutless really. No wonder that Orwell thought that 1984 was more than possible. Why isn’t the nation marching towards Downing Street armed with pitchforks?

    I think the expense claim for the £5 church donation should have led this Government to resign in disgrace. How can that be an error? Do you get receipts from the donation bowl?

    One-eyed twat won’t be happy until he’s destroyed the country and is locked down in his bunker deep in the Scottish Highlands.

  283. 283
    Pld Moore says:

    Personally I like a bit of rage and reason on here. Fuck Broon ! Is there a God?

    Works for me every time.

  284. 284
  285. 285
    Churchill's Cattleprod says:

    “people should only vote for candidates with two eye’s”

    And preferably less than 2 inches apart.

  286. 286
    Churchill's Cattleprod says:

    And we all know what happens to the fairy at Christmas time ….

  287. 287
    Ronald McDonald says:



  288. 288
    Sir NOAH says:

    The Scottish Man must die! I’d join Al-Qaeda if it meant I could send Jonah Jock to hell with a suicide bomb.

  289. 289
    alex taylor says:

    No, a tanner’s worth

  290. 290
    alex taylor says:

    RE: Sticky Buns rant
    as usual, your talking with Iain Dales cock in your mouth you f*cking french c*nt

  291. 291
    Anonymous says:

    I never find these cartoons funny.

  292. 292
    The referees a wanker says:

    You are Scorched Earth and I claim my 5 minutes of peace and quiet from your boring as arsehole diatribes.
    Bugger off you bloody communist.

  293. 293
    Jackanory says:

    How about checking your own balls first before throwing the shitty boomerang? What about Nick Sherry, deputy leader of the Oz Labour opposition in the Senate making false travel allowance claims when he was staying at his mother’s house in Tasmania. And the three MPs – Mal Colston, Member of the Senate; Michael Cobb, National Party backbencher and Bob Woods, Liberal Party member all having to face police investigations and charges over alleged misuse of their parliamentary expenses. There are many others not to mention the Brimbank Affair. Shitty boomerangs have a nasty habit of coming back to you! Where are you living, Earl’s Court? No wonder you don’t know what’s happening in Oz!

  294. 294
    Nemesis says:

    “unacceptable to the Labour MPs in a newly elected Government”

    A newly elected government will not contain any Labour MPs

  295. 295
    General Melchiot says:

    The Balls in the cartoon is far better looking than the real life Balls. It flatters the ugly scrote!

  296. 296
    caesars wife says:

    could be brown in the cockpit , but no idea who bloke is behind him , not very thoughtful considering todays air france news

  297. 297
    That bloody pedant says:

    Banzai, not Banzaii.

  298. 298
    Anonymous says:

    The Limp-Dems may be stupid but they are not bloody stupid. It will have taken them all of 3 milliseconds to realise that McBust is hoping to spread some of the blame for his imminent demise and to take some of them down with him.

  299. 299
    Scorched Earth says:

    Try again dickhead. It certainly wasn’t me.

    I’m perfectly capable of standing up for myself thanks.
    Particularly against fuckwits who can only babble “communist!” at anyone who confuses them with a long post containing anything they disagree with.

    Don’t like my posts ? Don’t read them.
    Reading appears to bore you anyway.

  300. 300
    Hugh Janus says:

    I’d be more interested as a fly-on-the-wall when Her Maj grants him her next weekly audience. We would all forgive her in advance for any dubious language she may feel compelled to use.

  301. 301
    thick as thieves says:

    er, no, you can’t ask.
    now fuck off.

  302. 302
    thick as thieves says:

    cameron is not doing a great impression of someone who wants a general election you fucking retard.
    dave said he does not want a rash of bye elections.
    that is exactly what we fucking need to precipitate a general election.
    you are full of shit scorched earth.
    you are talking out the back of your head.
    note to labourbloggers4war: we have found your missing idiot, please come and get the c’unt.

  303. 303
    Scorched Earth is a WANKER says:

    Fuck off communist.
    Go rim your communist boyfriend Barroso.
    You are an EU Stooge.
    Bought and paid.

  304. 304
    thick as thieves says:

    let me tell you how it will be:
    I’d just like to take this opportunity to thank Guido and rich and mark. but most of all I would like to thank all the members of the thick as thieves fanclub, who have supported me throughout my epic journey to rid the world of thieving Hunt politicians by bashing out the brains of their trolls when they visit this place to push the party line.
    and lastly I would like to say that even though scorched earth is a total wanker maybe we should should feel a tiny bit sorry for him/her/it for they live such a squirrel cage life spent pumping out pallid, monotonous platitudes of no interest to anybody but themselves.
    actually, fuck scorched earth. he/she/it is intelligent enough to know better.
    it is his decision to whore his intellect, what there is of it anyway.
    fucking retard.

  305. 305
    onan mcfly says:

    If Herr Testes gets the key to No11, as part of Uncle Joe’s attempts to secure his succession, what happens to la Cooper? Surely you couldn’t have a pair of balls in the same department?

  306. 306
    thick as thieves says:

    yes, you are quite right your lordship.
    never mind this piffle, we should ofcourse be talking about the great thick as thieves.
    it is a pleasure to be in the presence of a genius, is it not?
    choose your words carefully sir or I will gut you like a dog.

  307. 307
    Kelly says:

    Why would anyone hate John Barrowman? He’s immense and just because he pops up everywhere isn’t an excuse to hate him its just means he’s successful, jealous much? And stop being homophobic you twats ¬¬

  308. 308
    Scorched Earth says:

    Hey the juvenile is back.

    Awwww isn’t that cute he thinks he’ Guidos favouwite because he’s got his name on a cartoon. Is this the part where you ask people to leave you alone again as you are just a just a little kid Thick as Pigshit ?

    Thanks for proving me right BTW
    Mindless abuse from a little kid. So much more stisfying than actual Politics.

  309. 309
    Scorched Earth says:

    Try reading thick as pigshit. Even a juvenile like you can manage that.

    The bit where I said I’d love an Election tomorrow is the clue here.

    And unlike you I don’t have a clue where all the Labourblogger sites are because I don’t have the slightest bit of interest in any of them.

    Piss off back to CBeebies little twat.

  310. 310
    The Grim Reaper says:

    Oh, so that’s why Alan Douglas claimed nearly £600 to have his lawnmower repaired, Wondered why.

  311. 311
    Scorched Earth says:

    Piss off you embarrassing little piss stain.
    Barrusso can go fuck himself much like you.

    Thanks for elevating the discourse as usual.

  312. 312
    Scorched Earth says:

    Piss off back to CBeebies little twat.

    Anyone who bleats that we should stop picking on him because he is a “juvenile” shouldn’t be on an adult Political site.

    It’s sweet that you managed to work out how to use mummy and daddy’s PC but they will be back soon to make you a nice bowl of Jelly.

    Though people do love laughing at your embarrassing twattery.
    So keep it up as we all like a bit of clueless comic relief.

  313. 313
    Death Wish says:

    Oo’s this Camo in the Khazi then ? Some Tory toff shitting for England ?

  314. 314
    Scorched Earth is a cry baby says:

    Don’t start crying Scorched Earth!

  315. 315
    Scorched Earth, only child parents hung on her every word, no one else is interested in her rants says:

    Quick, someone give Scorched Earth some jelly and icecream so she doesn’t feel left out and start blubbering again.

Seen Elsewhere

Beeb Bias is Counterproductive | Nicholas Booth
Bercow Blames Colleagues for Clerk Mess | Guardian
Tony Benn Too Left-Wing For Soviet Union | Telegraph
Mrs Danczuk’s Festive Treat | Sun
Hollande Forced to Ditch Super-Tax | Mail
1 in 3 Back UKIP Over Chinky-Gate | Breitbart
Ed Miliband Taken Hostage | Worcester News
This Brilliant Coalition, Apart from Craig Oliver | Peter Oborne
Digital Politics: Standing Still Faster | Rafael Behr
After David Cameron, the Tories are Stuffed | Dan Hodges
John Humphrys Admits Skewed BBC Coverage | David Keighley

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