Who made the rules? MPs. Who benefits? MPs. Who decides how much they are paid? MPs. Who judges rule breakers? MPs.  It is a fundamental legal principle, that you should not be a judge in your own case (“nemo debet esse iudex in propria causa”).  MPs are always judging other MPs caught red handed, that is why despite huge amounts of money being embezzled, not a single MP has gone to jail.

Guido has been shouting about the Green Book Rule changes which came into force on April Fools Day – and politicians really do take us for fools. To stop all the rule breaking by MPs they came up with a clever solution. Scrap the rules!  MPs have become millionaires from property portfolios financed out of taxpayer’s money, they have incredibly generous pension packages worth £30,000 a year.  Even by public sector standards this is generous. They just keep on troughing for decades and then collect their gold-plated index-linked pension schemes on their way out.

Guido’s guide to the lies you will be hearing:

“It has since been corrected” - I knew it was going to come out and it was such a blatant fiddle that I realised I had to repay the fraudulently claimed money before it came out.

“The Fees Office approved the payment“ – the Fees Office always take the word of “honourable” members.  They always make the payment without question.

“It was a clerical error” – it was a small fiddle.

“Lessons have been learned“ – we have got away with it, but we won’t do it again.

“We need to have two homes to do our job properly” - why stay in a hotel when we can build a property portfolio at the public’s expense?

“Claims were made in good faith” - we have always got away with it in the past.

“It was within the rules” - MPs make the rules to suit themselves. MPs are  lawmakers, judge and jury.  It is a joke at our expense.  They really are almost all at it.  Now we can see…

Am told they have a sample of names.  Hope the source got cash up front…

UPDATE : Telegraph story here.  John Lewis list here.

Tony Wright Chairman of the Commons Public Administration Committee says he wants Damian McBride to give evidence, however he “seems to have disappeared without a trace and despite our best endeavours we haven’t been able to trace him”.

There are quite a few people looking to find him. Guido would bet a barrel of Guinness that he is back in Ireland staying with his people and laying low. If he has any sense he will be working on a “smear and tell” book…

May 3 was World Press Fredom Day, the government waited an extra day before publishing a ban on a list of people for thoughtcrimes.   Index on Censorship has some highlights of the list, many of those banned are unsavoury and undesirable.  Guido’s test is simple – do they advocate violence?  If not, then just because you disagree with them is no reason to ban them.

Jacqui Smith employs doublethink to say

The government supports freedom of expression, but believes it needs to be exercised responsibly. We will continue to oppose extremism in all its forms.

There is nothing wrong with extremism per se; “extremism in defence of liberty is no vice, moderation in pursuit of justice no virtue”. One woman’s extremist is another man’s progressive radical.  By all means keep out known advocates of violence, this measure however is not the thin edge of the wedge, it is the thick end of a jackboot.  The American conservative, radio shock-jock*  Michael Savage is not going to kill anyone, nor as far as Guido is aware has Savage ever advocated terrorism.  If merely loudmouthed shock-jocks can be banned, who will be next?

Martin Bright recently commented that it was “surreal” to see Guido supporting Index on Censorship, the liberal leaning, free speech pressure group.  Not sure why he said that, in Guido’s lifetime freedom of speech has been much more cherished on the right than the left.  Anyway, self-preservation is always a personal priority…

*Iain Dale is a conservative, radio shock-jock nowadays.

Anyone see Kevin Maguire in the vicinity?  Just a thought.  Last time Dave’s bike was nicked the Mirror got an amazingly quick exclusive out of  “recovering” the bike.

All was not lost.  Dezzy Swayne (Dave’s PPS and bike riding companion) apparently lent Dave his bike so he could ride into Westminster to be ready for PMQs yesterday.

Not the first time Dezzy has offered a younger Tory a ride.

Last night, as Dale predicted, Draper sent out an email to LabourList subscribers saying that he was stepping down as editor.  No indication as to what has happened to Tom Miller, who aided and abetted Derek in his smear operations.  The new editor, Alex Smith, seems to have decent intentions.  Guido still has some reservations.  Who pays Alex’s wages?  Who funds Tangent Labs development of the rather clunky and overly expensive bespoke software and hosting on which the site runs?   Is Derek still the proprietor?

ConservativeHome and LibDemVoice are much more transparent about funding.  Some clarity from LabourList on this might be a good idea going forward.  Guido genuinely wishes Alex well with the new direction of the site.

This morning Guido suggested that, to survive, the Indy should go digital and abandon paper deliveries for iPhone or Kindle digital only versions.  Today Amazon announced a digital distribution deal for the large screen Kindle:

The New York Times Company and Washington Post Company are launching pilots with Kindle DX this summer. The New York Times, The Boston Globe, and The Washington Post will offer the Kindle DX at a reduced price to readers who live in areas where home-delivery is not available and who sign up for a long-term subscription to the Kindle edition of the newspapers.

The Dead Tree Press is dying. You read it here first…