May 30th, 2009

Handy Anti-Politics Poster to Display on Lamp Posts

It is election time and leafleting canvassers can be annoying pests knocking at your door.  Print out this poster and attach it to the nearest street lamp post outside your house, remembering of course to fill in the name of your expense troughing local MP in the space provided. Piano wire can be useful to secure the poster to the lamp post. You may want to keep some spare…


  1. 1
    Anonymous says:

    step too far – actually a bit sick.

  2. 2
    Anonymous says:


  3. 3
    Shrinking sack of shite says:

    Could we have one for telegraph poles. we are a bit rural here

  4. 4
  5. 5
    papasmurf says:

    Fits the public mood though, don’t you think?

    No-one seriously thinks these troughers should swing, but as an idea MP’s get that mood.

    was listening to Toady this AM and listening to the reception Stephen Crabb got from his constituents…. they could have lynched him, at least some of them.

  6. 6
    Save the best for last says:

    Can’t be saved as a PDF, useless!

  7. 7
    We just can't afford Labour says:

    How about:


    “Where’s Gordon”


  8. 8
    Anonymous says:

    A step too far (maybe) would be actually stringing them up on the lamp post without the benefit & humilation of a public trial when they appear on your doorstep.

  9. 9
    Shrinking sack of shite says:

    a typo maybe ,- agreedy MP no more

  10. 10
    We just can't afford Labour says:

    Yes, Where is Gordon?

    He’s gone to ground again

  11. 11
    walls have ears says:

    Oh Shit

    Does this now mean that piano wire will be on the list of materials subject to the terror laws alongside, swiss army knives, nail files, bottled water, A 2 Zs of Luton, names of war dead and leathermen?

    Follow Guido’s advice at your peril, it well mean vamishing without trace for 42days.

  12. 12
    Tony Blair says:

    Would such a notice not be in breach of Health & Safety legislation ??

  13. 13
    Anonymous says:

    Don’t forget the lamp posts! Jacky Sspliff, Second Home secretary & Minister for Pornography will now declare lamp posts to be terrorist materials.

  14. 14
    Cherie Blair says:

    It could also be considered Incitement to Violence – and I’m a lawyer so I know!

  15. 15
    Trough Mixture says:

    Blair should swing papa. For treason.

    The rest should bear witness (see above) and then be walled up with a hatch to deliver their slops and gruel.

  16. 16
    Anonymous says:

    Isn’t that where cornered rats normally go?

  17. 17
    Anonymous says:

    Too far

  18. 18
    Dr Nuts says:

    Well, Moran has decided she’s going to take the ~£64,000 golden good-bye, along with the guarenteed pension! Wish my pension was worth as much.

  19. 19
    Anonymous says:

    Far too humane! No need for a hatch.

  20. 20
    Dr Nuts says:

    What’s wrong with that?

  21. 21
    A Norwegian Troll says:

    Is that for Polish people who try and read the Telegraph in Norwegian?

  22. 22
    Elspeth Tanner says:

    Up your Booth!

  23. 23

    I’ve been trying to tell you: Gordon is summoning up the courage to chicken out.

    He’s got to quit, he knows he’s got to quit, but he’s just not brave enough. So he’s hiding.

  24. 24
    Anonymous says:

    Great point.

    We’ve seen Dave & Nick but where has Gordon gone?

    Is McCavity courageous or a just a useless coward?

  25. 25
    I'll Bring The Rope says:

    Our ‘representatives’ are not afraid enough of the people they have been looting from.

  26. 26
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m busy writing personal letters to 50 million voters asking them to vote Tory.

  27. 27
    A Policeman called Plod. says:

    Surely a campaign of placing golden pots labeled Pension outside places where the right honourables gather would be more effective and less likely to being invited to donate dab prints and DNA to the local plod?

  28. 28
    Anonymous says:

    As ever with NuLabour – reward the guilty & reward failure.

  29. 29
    Anonymous says:

    Bollox anon!

  30. 30 says:

    I don’t see the problem of reserving lamp posts for an MP. It’s just about the only thing they haven’t stolen from us in the last decade.

    If a lamp post has been specifically reserved for an MP to come along and remove with our permission at their leisure they should be grateful.

  31. 31
  32. 32
    Anonymous says:

    Or gold painted troughs – with the MP’s name on it.

  33. 33

    Err, yes it can stoopid. Did you actually try pressing “save”?

  34. 34
    billy says:

    None of these cheats will GO willingly – they know no shame and shall have to
    be hounded out of office…..with NOTHING. Golden hand-shakes/pensions ?
    The police should be brought into this without delay and decide whether or
    not criminal proceedings applied where appropriate……..they should go
    through the rest of their lives constantly being reminded of when they
    bit the hand that fed them.

  35. 35
    Hoover says:


    Woah, laddie. I’m not with you on this one.

  36. 36
    Bastards says:

    Well said billy.

  37. 37
    Gordon Brown says:

    Insider trader Tip of the day, buy shares in the Priory Rehab Clinic, MP’s are queuing up to get in, I’ve just got the last room with a sea view.

    £400 a night and not even a mini-bar in the room.

    Must go the drinks trolley is coming round, yes nurse six-pack of Carlsberg Special Brew, bless her she thinks it strong tea. Sod it just spilt a double vodka all over the keyboard.

  38. 38
    Dack Blog says:

    Free advertising? It’ll be Nike-esque hoodies next.

  39. 39
  40. 40
  41. 41
    sansculotte says:

    I’m a big fan of yours Guido but thats not funny. Are you suggesting the punishment for theft is murder by the mob? Not sure this will do you any favours. Pehaps you have a hangover and have woken up imaginging you are in Iran or China. ?

  42. 42
    Anonymous says:

    Worse than uselessly silly – an invitation to join the route to Fascism – and I really do mean Fascism not the pastiche cardboard enemy beloved of the left who are all closet National Socialists at heart.

    The silent majority gets what it deserves – ignored.

    Join the party of your choice and help clean it from the inside out.

    Don’t join the lemming rush of righteous hypocrisy that is about to overwhelm what is left of British democracy with a rash of inexperienced amateurs who will be easily manipulated by the ruthless professionals and their media lackies who pull the strings in Whitehall and Wapping.

    P.S. How many of you have been contacted for the Guardianista poll and got pissed off by the way you were being guided down a simplistic route and could not answer the questions you would have liked to be asked. Even so, I look forward to seeing the result and how they spin it.

  43. 43
    Anonymous says:

    Well, yes, you do have a very valid point there.

  44. 44
    String em up says:

    To numbers 1 & 2. You big girlie ponces.

  45. 45
    Bastards says:

    Yes too far. Its the sort of thing that should be reserved for people who have

    – exempted themselves from the laws they make to govern us
    – exempted themselves from the tax code they use to take our money
    – helped themselves to the taxes they take from us using rules they create but we cannot challenge
    – colluded in the above frauds
    – eroded our rights to freedom of speach
    – would evesdrop on our private communications to search for disenters
    – allowed our executive powers to be passed to an unelected quango in Brussels
    – opened our borders to those who would wish us harm
    – chosen to keep at our expense known terrorists and agitators rather then return them to their own countries
    – have sat idly by while financial con-men and sharp practice have brought our economy to its knees
    – have allowed our jobs to exported to the third world
    – have allowed parts of our cities to become places where we feel like strangers in our own land

    The list goes on but I’m getting depressed just writing it.

  46. 46
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    I agree with anon, none of us want to string them up.

    What I propose is to cut off their thieving hands, gouge out their eyes and then burn them at the stake

  47. 47
    Anonymous says:

    agreed agreed. Piano wire? WTF?

  48. 48
    Historian says:

    Isn’t it usually fascists (like Mussolini) who end up swinging from lamp-posts?

  49. 49
    papasmurf says:

    Andrew Pearce this morning stated that that the DT had gone through 450 of the MP’s, thus leaving 200 to go.

    DC has now called for MP’s that have taken the public money from phantom mortgages AND the like, to feel the full force of the law.

    The Beeb this morning also were differenting between Moat claimers and those that had ducked under the radar for much worse sins eg flipping.

    So the inescapable conclusion is that this has

    some way to go yet

    the commissioner’s next boss has given the green light to DO YOUR JOB

    and that the public see NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SMALL CRIME AND A HUGE CRIME it only the sentence in prison that will vary.

  50. 50
    sanscullote is a pooper says:

    Always someone trying to be a party pooper.

  51. 51
    sixtypoundsaweekcleaner says:

    FFS!!! Haven’t you got a sense of humour? Take it in the spirit with which it was meant.

  52. 52
    String em up says:

    No-one thinks they should swing? I genuinely, honestly and wholeheartedly beg to differ…

  53. 53
    V says:

    People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.

  54. 54
    Pissed off voter says:

    incitement to violence is a charge more appropriately directed at the current ‘government’.

  55. 55
    Pissed off voter says:

    yep, too far. post it on your front gate :)

  56. 56
    Tony Blair says:

    How are you, yunno, enjoying the job Gordon?

  57. 57
    Pissed off voter says:

    they’d just steal them.

  58. 58

    “It is the right thing to do.”

  59. 59
    String em up says:


  60. 60
    Stronghold Barricades says:

    It is

  61. 61

    Well this ain’t Kansas. Get-a-sense-of-humour. Gallows humour. ;)

  62. 62
    Fred Goodwin's Goose Palace says:

    The MP part can also easily be changed into BANKER! so it has a dual use.

    Should come in handy for the Square Mile.

  63. 63
    Grytpype-thynne says:

    Hmm, sounds a bit liberal to me

  64. 64
    Pissed off voter says:

    that lets Gordon off lightly – and Blunkett even more lightly.

  65. 65
    Exiled in Wales says:


    I know you ended-up in four pieces with your head on a spike, and you penis in your mouth, but times have changed.

    Let’s humiliate, prosecute and incarcerate.

    Leave the lynching ot the Iranians

  66. 66
    eeyup says:

    For crying out loud Beast why are you being so nice to these thieves

  67. 67
    Stronghold Barricades says:

    It isn’t fair to let them have a quick way out

    Much better the long prison sentence and then put them on benefits, so that they have a long time to think about the errors of their ways

  68. 68
    Exiled in Wales says:

    Or should that be five? ;-)

  69. 69
    Pissed off voter says:

    I’m wondering if they are holding something special back for Sunday.

  70. 70
    Blakey says:

    You can’t. You live in a smokeless zone. And do you have permit for an outdoor fire – three weeks turnaround and the office is only open on wednesdays. And have you done a risk assessment and properly recorded it. And do you have marshalls in hi-viz standing around the perimeter. And do you have three lifting regs trained people to lift them up onto the pyre. @Ave they done their manual handling and been given the proper PPE.

    ‘Elf and safety innit.

  71. 71
    Rudy says:

    Cornered rats tend to leap for the throat. No evidence of that. Cornered pigs however continue swilling regardless and just give you a funny look for cornering them.

  72. 72
    Grytpype-thynne says:

    The Populus poll results are staggering.Despite the best efforts of the MSM to portray the Tories as the sleaze party, it is Liebour who are feeling most pain and UKIP benefitting most.One interesting snippet is that there may be enough support for the BNP in the NW of England for them to get an MEP.Are we seeing a permanently seismic shift in politics or is this temporary?

  73. 73
    Galloping Gurner says:

    Blair should be put through the shredder. Not only was he the architect of Britain’s demise he was the clever enough to shred the evidence along the way.

  74. 74
    chronic says:


  75. 75
    Mr Floppy says:

    Penis in his mouth ? – should make him a wow with the laydeez

  76. 76
    Grytpype-thynne says:

    Our wonderful box= ticking culture more like.

  77. 77
    Shrinking sack of shite says:

    No it is those things that B.T. use to hold up wires ,stout wooden pole? Wires? only thing missing is an M.P .

  78. 78
    Anonymous says:

    Tony Blair says:
    May 30, 2009 at 9:34 am

    Would such a notice not be in breach of Health & Safety legislation ??

    Probably, people might die laughing when they read it.

  79. 79
    Ex-Speaker of the House of Commons says:

    To trawl through 200 MP’s expenses has taken the Telegraph weeks, so using my Grade X maths grading it is going to take another 6 weeks for the rest.

    Expense fatigue is setting in fast.

    The DT had every right to expose the thieving bastards (excluding myself) but not in the method and manner that they have done and which has been completely and utterly botched.

    The Telegraph could have gone through in alphabetical order starting with A and finishing with L or exposed the pigs & thieves in order of importance but no they have 40 boy scouts and girl guides sifting through scanned copies of expense claims which they cannot sort or filter in a ad-hoc and totally unprofessional manner.

    I will most definitely be writing to my MP about this if I can find him.

  80. 80
    Stewie Griffin says:

    jackie sspliff ? – have I missed some part of this story

  81. 81
    Unsworth says:

    Well it’s the Court of Public Opinion, innit?

  82. 82
    Gordon Brown says:

    Is that you banging on the wall next door Tone?

  83. 83
    Unsworth says:

    I usually do.

  84. 84
    Grytpype-thynne says:

    I still believe Brown will stay on to the bitter end but rather than resign to make way for another Liebour stooge, isn’t it more likely he would call a GE so as to have a Gotterdamerung of his party? In other words, if he can’t have it (the party) then no one else can, as he would be consigning them to oblivion.

  85. 85
    Anonymous says:

    What the fuck is happening under Cameron’s desk on the front page of the Telegraph?

    Look at his eyes. I can’t decide whether he’s straining for a shit, in receipt of a blow job or whether he is actually a cyborg in receipt of confusing instructions.

  86. 86
    papasmurf says:

    have you seen someone hang? Have you seen the lifeless body of another human being?

    have you been locked up and denied your ability to go to and fro at will?

    Please explain why you GENUINELY, HONESTLY and WHOLEHEARTEDLY disagree.

    Even Guido says here that it is gallows HUMOUR not a call for mass murder…….FFS get real……..what these troughers have done has created a constitutional crisis but they have not actually taken a knife and cut any throats. I can see that the actions they took have had unforseen consequences on others but they haven’t personally thrown the hatch switch so people swing.

  87. 87
    Chutney Monkey says:

    OT but you may want to have look at the members of the Chutney Club

  88. 88
    papasmurf says:

    Cherie has Tony taken his “fist” out of your mouth yet?

  89. 89
    Centre Parting says:

    Any thoughts on Blair’s receipts being ‘destroyed’ or ‘mislaid’.

    Has he kept records of what he has claimed as we all have to in case HMRC wish to go back over past years?

  90. 90
    Anonymous says:

    What is really galling is the double standards employed by NL. Back bench MPs have been willingly sacrificed but the Poison Dwarf, Hoon, Purnell et al have all either disappeared off the radar or have done “nothing wrong” according to Broon. It suits NL to have massive publicity about moats and duck islands as they make for silly headlines. Yes, these claims are bad enough but it is tax avoidance and flipping that is more despicable. I was critical of Dave over Julie but for whatever reason she is going. Broon has disappeared from public view. To take the whip away from front bench troughers would result in virtually no front bench and an impossible to resist call for GE.

  91. 91
    Jacqui "put it on expenses" smith says:

    Trust a wishy washy liberal do-gooder to come in and spoil the party.

  92. 92
    MP's looking for votes & sympathy says:

    Only got three fingers left, the rest are in the shredding machine.

  93. 93
    Iranian Immigrant says:

    Ready when you are.

  94. 94
    Churchill's Cattleprod says:

    650 MP’s left in a large room with 1 gun and 649 bullets. Tell them that only one can come out … and shoot him as he exits.

    I think you should take the “City of Westminster” bit off it Guido. CoW are a bit nasty about taking legal action against anyone using their name and logo without permission so how about just using the your Porkbusters logo instead?

  95. 95
    Field Marshal Montgomery says:

    War Heroes, get a wreath on expenses.

  96. 96
    Fells Point barfly says:

    Off-topic?? That was all the way out in left field. WTF, over….

  97. 97
    Justice Fingers says:

    The very next MP who says:

    “I’ve done nothing wrong and it was all within the rules.”

    is actually saying :

    “My judgement is so poor that I am not fit for public office of any kind and I therefore resign immediately and forego all termination payments and pension.”

    Who’s next?

  98. 98
    Stronghold Barricades says:

    I’d much prefer if the Met knocked on the doors of the House and carted them away in handcuffs

    But they’d probably be staying in their second homes…at least the Met will know where the Two Homes Secretary is, and they always say a policeman likes to get his own little bit of retribution in first

  99. 99
    Where there's blame, there's a claim says:

    How much did they sneak onto expenses though?

  100. 100
    oldrightie says:

    If we poor volunteers traipsing round the apathy, immaturity and childish attitudes of the ill educated, brainwashed Brits and Irish cuckoo nests didn’t try to offer information and work on behalf of the democratic process, you would have nothing to do. The smirking, self-righteous conviction of individuals who happily make money out of the political realm, are every bit as arrogant, smug and grasping as the targets of their mock ire. The shambles and wasteland that is now The UK is the doing, mainly, of Socialism and Labour. To change this awful environment someone else has to have a go. It would be nice to wait a few years before starting the whingeing and carping all over again. Fat chance, it’s such an easy job to moan and criticise. Much easier than tramping the streets. Mind you, if nothing else it keeps the old figure a lot trimmer than most bloggers, eh, Guido?

  101. 101
    Anonymous says:

    My MP appears squeaky clean unless someone else knows different.

  102. 102
    Anonymous says:

    I just love your phraseology ‘summoning up the courage to chicken out’. Absolutely priceless.

  103. 103
    Class War Federation says:

    We’ve been doing similar stuff for decades, as we knew they were dirty theiving scum way back. We even have adhesive stickers with similar messages. “use your cross wisely, crucify a politician” etc. All good fun.
    I think you might be a closet anarchist Guido. Join us. We need a new tea lady. :-)

  104. 104
    It's the Tyburn Jig for you laddy says:

    Michael Flatley, for egregious posturing with a bare chest.

  105. 105
    Alan Johnson MP says:

    But in true NuBritain style only 10% of the letters will actually be delivered and we will charge the taxpayer £50m for delivering them

  106. 106
    chronic says:

    After MPs we go after the fuckers with no sense of humour.

  107. 107
    It's the Tyburn Jig for you laddy says:

    They’re the worst type. Sanctimonious, smug AND honest. String ‘em up.

  108. 108
    Loony says:

    Kill the bastards. We want the streets foaming with MPs’ blood. String ‘em up by their balls and slash at their suspended bodies, then laugh with glee as blood oozes out from their bloated, cancerous bodies and gushes into the streets in a tsunami of gore. Kill the fuckers. Kill them all.

    Slow death – extreme and messy – is what we want, not some genteel, humane and swift exit from this world. I want them all dead. Dead, dead, dead.

    Die, motherfuckers. Die badly. Die, die, die.

    And don’t expect us to cough up for your funeral expenses.

  109. 109
    Alan Johnson MP says:

    How do you varnish without trace?

  110. 110
    But????????????????? says:

    So it has taken just a few journalists less than a month to trawl through years of All the MPs expenses (except those in a shredder marked Blair) and produce a coherent catalogue with the i’s dotted and t’s crossed.

    How come Parliament said it was impossible to produce an audit of Mps expenses even in real time as it would take up extraordinary ammounts of manpower, time and resources?

    Yet again they were telling us lies, damn lies..the thieving liars

  111. 111
    Winston Churchill says:

    Never in the field of human conflict was so much expenses owed by so many to so few:—no-longer.html

    To all the greedy, thieving MP’s and Ministers of the Crown:

    “This was your finest hour”

  112. 112
    Fells Point barfly says:

    Tax avoidance? Nope, that is quite plainly tax EVASION. Avoidance is legal, within the HMRC guidelines (except they keep closing each ‘loophole’, and you should apply to use a new one, in case they didn’t think of it first.) Evasion is, and always has been, illegal. These MPs are criminals (subject to a court decision, of course). So let’s get them into court, forthwith.

  113. 113
    Anonymous says:

    Cornered rats full of courage go for the throat – then there’s the other sort……

  114. 114
    jgm2 says:

    Woodchipper – like in ‘Fargo’.

  115. 115
    Dack Blog says:

    If the good did nothing they’re not good.

  116. 116
    Anonymous says:

    Joking apart, isn’t there something about him writing letters, trying to drum up support? He’s shit out of luck if he sends one to me. I wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire.

  117. 117
    Painter and decorator says:

    Use a quality real bristle brush, best clear yacht varnish and apply along the grain.

  118. 118
    Anonymous says:

    Apart ftom the double ‘s’ just a reference to the lady’s pot smoking habits when a student.

  119. 119
    Gallows humour says:

    Ate too much cheese last night did we?

  120. 120
    Stewie Griffin says:

    and who’s going to clean up that mess ?

  121. 121
    String em up says:

    To papa at 85.

    I haven’t yet seen anyone swing but I think my constitution will cope. I have however spent time at HMs pleasure. I will lead the lynch mob. Happily.

    And you are a Gay.

  122. 122
    jgm2 says:

    The best revenge for all these Labour property ‘flippers’ is for Cameron to hike interest rates to about 10%.

    Then those destroyers of the UK economy will be well and truly hoist on their own petradf. Unemployed and with no means of paying their mortgage while the high mortgage rate itself drives the price of houses down to more reasonable levels.

    Dave could easily dress it up as ‘controlling inflation’ or ‘supporting the currency’ or ‘reassuring the bond market’.

    Let these Labour MP fuckwits undertstand what it means to encourage the entire UK population to borrow themselves into penury just so they, personally could act like Sarah Beeny at public expense. Fucking bastards. Aye, that’s you I’m talking about Darling.

  123. 123
    Shorter men make better dictators says:

    Can you name one honest politician though? I mean, ever?

  124. 124
    Anonymous says:

    They’d probably think it was a present – somewhere to stash their ill-gotten gains.

  125. 125
    Gordon Brown says:

    As I can clearly detect you are a fan on mine, I am going to send you two personel hand-written letters:–vote-says-Brown-letter-blaming-Tories-expenses-scandal.html

  126. 126
    Bordeaux Binger says:

    You don’t like him very much do you ?

  127. 127
    Anonymous says:

    What’s going on with all these celebs, Ratzen et al? Celebs and journos now want to run parliament??????? All bunch of Hunts, all libro-fascists. NO FUCKING THNANKS!

  128. 128
    Trough Smeller Pursuivant says:

    Eleanor Laing, a Conservative front bencher, has admitted that she did not pay capital gains tax when she made £1 million profit on a second home bought with the help of taxpayers’ money.

  129. 129
    Stronghold Barricades says:

    Thanks for the pdf, Chrome wouldn’t let me save it either

  130. 130
    Dixon of Dock Green says:

    What a waste of piano wire, won’t picture wire suffice?

  131. 131
    Harri says:

    A step too far ! agreed… fuck em, dont give them any warning… they showed us no quarter , they will get none in return.

  132. 132
    papasmurf says:

    You haven’t justified your GENUINELY, HONESTLY and WHOLEHEARTEDLY opinion.

    What did you serve your time for at HM pleasure? Hope it is not a Dishonesty matter, Tax evasion matter or that would signal hypocracy, wouldn’t it?

    Hope it is not a sexual crime or some on here will would have you string yourself up before you got to the MP’s.

    Am I Gay…….. No you are thinking of Tarquin – Smurf. Tarqin is often seen on the Common at the “Biting” Tree…… our young Smurflings are warned not to go near it.

  133. 133
    Anonymous says:

    Beast, you got religion or something? You seem to be going a bit soft on the MPs. I can have a fire in my back garden – bring ‘em along, bring ‘em along. Just make sure they’re safely trussed up & gagged – the neighbours will be fine about the smoke & smell – nice meaty B-B-Q innit? – but the screams might upset them & it might frighten the dogs – I’ve promised them the leftovers – me bins are a bit too full this week.

  134. 134
    uk Fred says:

    Also to Papa at 85

    What about all the soldiers who have died in illegal wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and what about Dr. Kelly? This lot are not only thieves but I think they are murderers as well.

    And as for lifeless bodies, what about relatives who couldn’t get the treatment they needed when there was a chance to do something to save them, but only palliative care when their fate was sealed.

  135. 135
    Housing Hubba Bubba says:

    I don’t think Gordon’s ego will allow him to fight a GE that, divine intervention aside, he has little chance of winning.

    He’ll find a way to stand down while claiming that Britain has never been in a better position to face the challenges ahead.

  136. 136
    String em up says:

    They were. Even.

  137. 137
    Diablo says:

    I’m a bit hazy on the legislation but is it acceptable to hunt vermin with the hounds?

  138. 138
    papasmurf says:

    Thomas Wolsey?

  139. 139
    Harri says:

    I will second that !

  140. 140
    Bordeaux Binger says:

    Quite a few of them are very afraid of the people now. They are going to lose their seats and will have to find someone stupid enough to employ a glut of them in a very sparse labour market. Happy, happy, happy.

  141. 141
    The Queen says:

    I blame “Saving Private Ryan” for not getting an invite to Normandy and bloody Brown, he’s taken all the wreaths on exepnses, using poppies as Labour red roses.

  142. 142
    M.T.BUCKET says:

    Could it be his piles playing up, they can be a exacerbated by a lot of cycling.

  143. 143
    Anonymous says:

    we should just use the same piece of piano wire to be economical with tax payers money. Obviously we should give it a quick wipe down after each usage so as to lessen the risk of spreading swine flu.

  144. 144
    Spin Doctor says:

    Simon Cowell: “Why did you burst into tears on last night’s show?”

    Hollie Steel: “Just before I went on stage I received a good luck telegram from Gordon Brown!”

  145. 145

    Nothing closet about Guido’s anarcho-capitalism. Live by the values you believe in as best you can.

  146. 146
    Rudy says:

    Inspired. I must agree.

  147. 147
    Harri says:

    Apparenty when the hanging is in progress the bowels usualy open up so watching them piss and crap themselves would only add to the entertainment. and sometimes the head comes off, also if the hangman has miscaculated the weight to height ratio…. good, i hope the hangman in question ha the IQ of a pickled oinion and his batteries are fucked in his calculator.

  148. 148
    Anonymous says:

    WTF’s Peter Lane? Yetta Nother Trougher?

  149. 149
    Almighty God says:

    Denive intervention ??? Are you kidding !

  150. 150
    Midnight caller says:

    What happened to those 3 am random phone callsto members of the public that The Jonah used to do

  151. 151
    uk Fred says:

    So now we know where all those stolen mobile creanes have gone.

  152. 152
    Andrew McLie MEP says:

    Are they all chutney ferrets ??

  153. 153
    Fatter men make better politicians says:


  154. 154
    Stronghold Barricades says:

    they are still there, and therefore still useful…hence present tense

  155. 155
    sixtypoundsaweekcleaner says:

    Have you got any jobs going for cleaners? I’m rather good with a mop and bucket.

  156. 156
    Anonymous says:

    So you will also be familair with the laws on Fraud then you troughing bitch !

  157. 157
    Saddam Hussein says:

    Hey, it’s not so bad.

  158. 158
    Dunfesterin says:

    “String Em Up” – you’ve done time have you?

    Aye right, that’s why you visit a blog full of nancy boy Tories!!!

    The term for you is “prison Walt”

    Who’s going to be the first muppet to print one of these posters off and get arrested for threatening behaviour?

    Go on, Tories. I dare you.

  159. 159
    sixtypoundsaweekcleaner says:

    I don’t mind…for the correct remuneration.

  160. 160
    Anonymous says:

    Gordons goons will never “pass by on the other side” when theres money to be made.

  161. 161
    papasmurf says:

    Fred….. you make some good points there. But are they culpable for those actions to the degree that they need strining up? No. They may have a moral responsibliity for voting to support the Iraq war BUT they were not told the whole truth NOR HAVE we as yet. Tony Blair in cowtowing to Bush and the cabinet at the time…..which includes McMental have that responsibility. I for one would want to see an open enquiry and if there is evidence….. not shredded….. then Blair and Brown and the rest should face a trial. Then they can languish at HM Pleasure and think of there trough then as they slop out and line up in a dinner queue.

    Palliative Care…assumes that nothing can be done. As one who has lain in a hospital bed in exactly that position I think I can say that if the doctors have done their best with the resources they have available then that is it in all honesty. I survived minus a significant body part….. others lose their lives. I don’t see that a politician is fully personally liable for that.

    Kelly….. a scandal that we need to still to get to the bottom of for his family’s sake.

    What we need is uncorruptable politicians to sweep the shower of stinking shit out and have clean honest Government… even if it is not to the ideological liking to sections of the community.

    Still waiting String em up

  162. 162
    Anonymous says:

    True and aaprt from the piano wire have you costed in the bright yellow refelctive vests ?

  163. 163
    papasmurf says:

    Ghandi was more a protester than a politician, wasn’t he?

  164. 164
    Class War Federation says:

    Fair enough. Capitalist-boy. We shall readvertise the position.

    Even our tea ladies have to be idioligically sound. Your application is rejected.

    Keep up the good work though.

  165. 165
    Samsonite Travel Products says:

    Latest innotative travel accessory for MP’s on the move, an inflatable confession box, 2 AA batteries and priests not included.

  166. 166
    Anonymous says:

    She won’t be winning tonight then will she? Not if the Curse of Jonah does it’s usual act.

  167. 167
    Anonymous says:

    Sunday bloody sunday, here’s hoping !

  168. 168
    court of public opinion says:

    or stupid enuf if he thought we would belive the “accident” lie.

  169. 169
    Thomas Rossetti says:

    I’m all for gallows humour, but this is a step too far. Politicians have cheated on their expenses and behaved badly, but they certainly do not deserve this.

    I know Guido isn’t *seriously* suggesting we hang MPs, but this is a very sick joke worthy of Derek Draper and his friends.

  170. 170
    Betty Swollocks says:

    I fear your cunning plan may be appealing to a good many MPs Mr Fawkes.

    Man arrested for ‘having sex with lamp-post’

  171. 171
  172. 172
    Will says:

    “what these troughers have done has created a constitutional crisis but they have not actually taken a knife and cut any throats.”

    No, they’ve done far worse. By their negligence and laziness they are responsible for the deaths and disablement of men and women of far greater honour:

    Read it and weep, then reach for the rope.

  173. 173
    uk Fred says:

    Yep. As the boys from HM Revenue & Customs (HMRC) are now interested, this should, because of the high profile of the persons being investigated come under the remit of the special civil investigations unit. These guys, the seriously naughty boys squad, interview under the police and ciriminal evidence act processes, and can prosecute for tax evasion although they prefer to settle for cash.

    Now their take on “wholly, necessarily and exclusively” is that any personal benefit at all means that something is not exclusively for the purpose of the job and therefore should be taxable.

    They also take the view that everything should be recorded and if it isn’t recorded and records available for them to see then it probably didn’t happen.

    Can one of the lawyers on the site tell us, if a candidate is subject to a tax investigation by the HMRC, does that have to be declared on election literature?

  174. 174
    court of public opinion says:

    Agreed lets just have the remainder contained in a bumper Sunday supplement. This is dragging out things and its time to move on to the next part of the process ie interviews under caution.

  175. 175
    Cynosarges says:

    Guido, you’ve got it all wrong. Hanging MPs around the country would reduce the impact. A truly artistic display would be much more effective. Hang them all on the lamp posts that line Westminster bridge! A really impressive photo for tourists.

  176. 176
    Gordon Brown says:

    No such thing.

  177. 177
    Dicks pussies and assholes says:

    David van-fekin-Day on Sky, holy shit 1

  178. 178
    sixtypoundsaweekcleaner says:

    I don’t mind doing the cleaning up. For the correct remuneration…

  179. 179
    Churchill's Cattleprod says:

    Ah, the 16% are out in force I see. Guess there are so many malingerers, convicted thieves and dolescroungers among them that they don’t really care that MP’s are stealing the country from under them – just that the state continues to provide for their 6 kids while they are on their regular “holiday visits” to the Isle of Wight.

  180. 180
    Anonymous says:

    Agreed and another thing such campaigns are a complete waste of tax payers money….errr…hold on ….you mean we arnt paying for it ? Oh well thats ok then : )

  181. 181
    Percy Thrower says:

    But where would the hanging baskets go?

  182. 182
    sixtypoundsaweekcleaner says:

    You can tell I’m keen.

  183. 183
    Anonymous says:

    Isn’t there an M.P. Catholic Conversion Kit as well? For those MPs who haven’t quite yet taken the path lit up by Tony? I think that includes a CD of a priest, with gaps in the monologue for you to make your responses & a little bottle of holy water to splash over yourself at the end. Then you get to open the secret compartment & find a photo of Tony dressed as the Pope & a John Bull printing kit so you can stamp a personal message of choice from Tony on the back of the photo. Only £999.99 so it can be put on expenses.

  184. 184
    Chromium vs Platinum says:

    chrome is clearly crap go for mozilla

  185. 185
    thick as thieves says:

    memo to the parliamentary labour party: you should not be suprised that the sacrificial lamb is bleating as it is being dragged to the slab.
    the beast is aware that it is facing the end and it will kick and fight with all its might to escape the blade.
    pay no attention to the dumb animal: be strong and brave and do not let go of the lamb as you drag it through the dusty floor and sling it on the stone slab.
    and when it is lying on the altar slit its throat deeply and quickly.
    do not use a blunt blade or be slow in your work for it will only make the sacrifice more stressful to the creature.
    for the good of the country as well as your party.
    that is the best advice the labour party will ever get.

  186. 186
    Anonymous says:

    TR – I agree with you – they deserve far worse.

  187. 187
    Anonymous says:

    I wrote something similar for my O grade English essay many moons ago. I only managed a C+ and a letter home to my parents.

  188. 188
    Gordon Brown says:

    The Fees Office stopped me ringing round the plebs for votes when I asked them to ring back on a premium line number.

  189. 189
    Steve Expat says:

    How many lamp posts are there on Wembley Way? I believe there’s an audience of 90,000 heading down there this afternoon… ;-)

  190. 190
    Gormless says:

    No, no thoughts at all.

  191. 191
    Anonymous says:

    Now would be an appropriate time to mention another Elephant in the Room namely Gordons extortionate and extremely unlikely Cleaning bill

  192. 192
    Churchill's Cattleprod says:

    Philip Hollobone MP. An honest man in a den of iniquity.

  193. 193
    Anonymous says:

    I believe the two teams have devised an extremely torturous and lengthy route to the stadium to minimise the possibility of meeting the Jonah on the way and Andy Murry is refusing all phone calls in France this weekend.

  194. 194
    Ideologically speaking says:

    It’s ideologically actually.

    Don’t they teach you anarchists anything at public school?

  195. 195
    Churchill's Cattleprod says:

    Agreed. Much too far. Think of the Mikado. Let the punishment fit the crime, thus:

    John Greenaway claimed a box of matches
    Sentence: Burn at a stake made out of matches

    Patrick McLoughlin claimed for a wasp’s nest removal
    Sentence: covered in jam and pegged out over a wasps nest

    David Heathcoat-Amory – claimed for horse manure
    Sentence: involves reversing the effect of manure coming out of the horse’s bottom and probably very painful (for the horse).

    Douglas Hogg – moat cleaning
    Sentence: Keelhauled along HMS Belfast should do it nicely – better do it again though to make sure

    Margaret Beckett – hanging baskets
    Sentence: Hanging – yes. Baskets – no (unless the head comes off in the process)

    Cheryl Gillan’s dog food
    Sentence: Come on Cheryl just 10 more tins to go. Tuck in.

    Chris Huhne’s trouser press
    Sentence: Well, its not going to be his trousers that get pressed – don’t they still have a human press in the Tower?

    *** Double Act ***

    Paul Murphy’s toilet roll holder plus John Prescott’s toilet seats
    Sentence: Double act. Murphy and John Prescott get to run in front of a gigantic toilet roll (memo: could just use newspaper rolls) each handicapped by wearing lead toilet seats.

    Vera Baird – Christmas tree decorations
    Sentence: Large tree … fairy on top … get the idea?

    Hazel Blears – CGT avoidance
    Sentence: Far nastier than mere death. Our Little Hazel will spend 20 years in jail having to complete her annual self assessment 24 times a day until she learns that defrauding the taxpayer equals “wrongdoing”

    Michael Clapham claimed for his wife’s glasses
    Sentence: Both eyes gouged out to cheers of “Should have gone to SpecSavers you bastard!”

    *** Double Act ***

    The Balls – various frauds, claiming £33 for poppy wreaths and £600 a month on food
    Sentence: Some might say that the only real way to punish Adolf and Ilse is to take away their money. I say the opposite. Sit them down in front of £10,000 of fake £5 notes with a knife fork and some water and make them do it in public. First one to puke has to eat the other’s vomit.

  196. 196
    Anonymous says:

    Tony has taken to re writing centuries old Catholic Dogma to suit his own needs.

  197. 197
    Cynosarges says:

    Why clean up the mess? Leaving the bodies to be eaten by rats would not only save money on the clean-up, but also be a far more effective lesson for the others.

  198. 198
    Anonymous says:

    M’mm – seems to be catching on.

    ‘Last year, Robert Stewart was placed on probation for three years after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.’
    He’d heard so many of his mates saying ‘she’s the local bike’ that he just got confused. Easily done.

    Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs. Difficult choice for anyone in Reddich – Jacky Spliff or the pavement? Well, since Mr Spliff prefers porn to the real thing……….

  199. 199
    Stronghold Barricades says:

    handy of the council to provide those useful attachments

  200. 200
    You say looser, I say loser says:


    Your spelling is as anarchic as your politics.

    It’s “I” before “e” except after “c”.

    Try Firefox. It has a built in spellchecker.

  201. 201
    Stronghold Barricades says:

    But without it his flat would be a “pigsty”…credited to sister-in-law

    you couldn’t make it up

  202. 202
    Waffen SS says:

    Absolutely spot on, well said Sir.

    It is wrong wrong wrong to even contemplate making a slightly risque joke in New Labour’s Britain. Guido will be fortunate not to be carried off to the Tower for this.

    Herr Braun rules OK!!!

  203. 203
    Anonymous says:

    Tied to the MPs feet? To give ‘em a bit of ballast like – so they don’t flap in the wind.

  204. 204
    Stronghold Barricades says:

    been there, done that

  205. 205
    Steve Expat says:

    That’s a bit like saying I can’t be bothered to procrastinate just now, maybe I’ll do it later :-)

  206. 206
    Anonymous says:

    ‘Pigsty’? Seems strangely suitable for a trougher.

  207. 207
    Harri says:

    Talking of imminent death , and no doubt Dear Nadine Dorries is perusing over this blog, its been all of three weeks now since the three poor hard done by souls who reside on the back bench have been on ” suicide watch ” … well whats fucking keeping them , got better all of a sudden have we, having second thoughts maybe ! look you just cant go around building peoples hopes up only to snatch it all away at a moments notice ? just in case they are still feeling a bit down, i hear the view from the Golden gate bridge is lovely this time of year… and yes fuck it you can even put the travel costs on expenses.

    Nadine you lying cow !

  208. 208
    Gordon Brown says:

    In order to balance the national debt, make up for the loss of expenses and regain the respect for Parliament, a giant roulette wheel will be installed in the lobby at Westminster with one-arm bandits galore.

    All MP’s and Ministers of the Crown will wear sexy croupier outfits and male MP’s over the age of 60 will be asked to perform exotic pole dancing during PMQ’s.

    I will do whatever it taskes to regain the respect for Parliament whilst David Cameron will do absolutely nothing and a commend this seedy bill to the honorable members of this house of sin.

  209. 209
    Earnest Bevin says:

    Reminds me of my poetry when I was 16 actually. It was rejected by every publishing house I sent it to. No guts, no glory.

    Never mind, look where I am today!

  210. 210
    Cynosarges says:

    The Telegraph really fell down on investigating this one. If Gordon is renting his second home out, then cleaning should be covered by income from the rental, not the taxpayer.

    If, as they assert, the property is empty, then how can so much money be spent on cleaning? Business took me to Belgium (in a similar way that “business” took Gordon to his grace and favour pad in Downing Street. My cleaner recommended a spring clean every six months, and a further clean before I returned. Over 26 months, this would cost under one thousand pounds. Where has the other five thousand pounds gone?

  211. 211
    Trough Smeller Pursuivant says:

    Not with a face like that you don’t!

  212. 212
    Green fingers says:

    From their shoe laces?

  213. 213
    The Pope says:


  214. 214
    Sir William Waad says:

    What a nasty idea. You’d have to be a heartless moron to find that idea funny.

  215. 215
    Ugly stick beater says:

    He should try wearing nylons. On his head.

  216. 216
    Steve Expat says:

    From that Maily Dail article:

    “…Labour’s deputy leader Harriet Harman said last night that the golden goodbye payments for MPs who quit – under which can receive up to £129,000 – could be scrapped.”

    I’m assuming that this will be enacted before the next election, Harperson??

  217. 217
    The Last GOOD Man. says:

    Cheers Winston, I was about to answer no.

    Mr Hollobone MP. deserves an honour but I fear he wouldn’t give or take the cash.

  218. 218
    MP of your choice says:

    I’m sorry I have to step down owing to health reasons

  219. 219
    Sir William Waad says:

    In what sense is the Home Secretary more ‘real’ than a porn starlet? I expect many porn stars are quite nice people in real life.

  220. 220
    Chutney Monkey says:

    Oh come on, you all know when friends come round there is always lots of chutney to clean up, you couldn’t expect Gordon to

  221. 221
    A Doctor says:

    Am not giving you a certificate – get your arse into Court.

  222. 222
    jgm2 says:

    Vlad the Impaler had interesting ideas about mass executions. As the name suggests he would impale his victims through the arse and out through the shoulder on nicely polished, well-oiled spikes.

    The upshot is it could take days for the folk to die.

    But that was not all. He took to arranging them in interesting patterns. Say concenric circles of hundreds of the poor bastards and then having a table set up in the middle and enjoying a banquet.

    As regards this Labour government I think history may be giving us the ideal template on how to deal with the evil fuckers.

    Bagsie first sitting.

  223. 223 says:

    The incident echoes a similar case last week when a Polish contractor was caught on his knees with a vacuum cleaner in a hospital staff canteen.

    A security guard walked in on the man in the middle of a compromising act with the Henry Hoover appliance. He later claimed he was cleaning his underpants. He has now been fired.

  224. 224
    Moley says:

    Conservatives will be shocked to hear that the success rate of the Government’s scheme to save families from repossession has recently doubled, thereby vindicating the courageous leadership of Gordon Brown.


    TWO families have now been rescued, a 100% improvement on one.

    The BBC will be making a special commemorative Broadcast in the near future to draw attention to this miraculous success and contrast it with the “Do nothing Conservatives who would have begrudged the £285,000,000 it cost to save the two families.

  225. 225
    MohammedIsfahir says:

    This is idiotic, and less than funny.

    Look what we’ve done – all the stupid bastards up and down the country will now vote us a Commons full of Esther Rantzens.

    Then we’re all royally fucked.

    There is a fine line, Guido, between constructive criticism and vindictive childishness, and we’re beginning to cross it.

  226. 226
    Pyewacket the cat says:

    Don’t hang them, make them pay back with a bit of “hard labour”. Digging ditches, draining swamps and laying concrete for community projects. Based on the minimum wage make them work as long as it takes to repay what they have swindled from taxpayers. Should keep them going for years.

    Oh, and deduct the cost of food, accommodation, tools and clothing from their “pay”.

  227. 227
    Executioner's Song says:

    Certainly Blair, Brown and Mandy at the very least should be hanged for High Treason. I hope to see justice done in my lifetime.

  228. 228
    jgm2 says:

    You’d want to have a heart of stone not to laugh out loud more like.

  229. 229
    An uncivil engineer says:

    Why not hang them from the wobbly bridge? Their dead weight should dampen its resonant frequency.

  230. 230
    Gordon Brown says:

    not withstanding a cat in hells chance of winning the next elections, for the sake of myself, myself and myself I have decided to take the only valiant and honourable course of action and to get into bed with the Libdems.

    You didn’t thinks you were going to get rid of me that easy. The gravy train is just beginning.

  231. 231
    Augeas says:

    No. Mussolini was a famous example, but mostly it was Eastern European villagers who dared resist the Nazis.

  232. 232
    The Electoral Commission says:

    It’s upto the candidate but if/she didn’t mention it & it came out after the election & had criminal consequences for the MP voters could sue for misrepresentation asking the court to remove them

  233. 233
    Executioner's Song says:

    Harri, it’s not so colorful, I’m afraid. Albert Pierrepoint’s assistant executioner, Sid Dernley wrote in his autobiography that in all his experience, he’d only ever known someone shit themselves once. And no one had ever lost his head! You’ll give the process a bad image by spreading misinformation like this and only make it more difficult for us to re-introduce it.

  234. 234
    Hanging judge Roy Bean says:

    To be honest, I would have thought that a suspended sentence was far too lenient for the crimes committed by most of them.

  235. 235
    The Electoral Commission says:


  236. 236
    Pyewacket the cat says:

    My MP has claimed forty five quid for a set top box so (wait for it!!) he could watch the Parliament Channel!!

    You couldn’t make it up!

    The dopey sponger hasn’t yet worked out why, when he watches it he cannot see himself!

    He must think we are as daft as he is.

    Err… Just a thought, possible undeclared motive perhaps, has Richard Timney ever claimed for a set top box?

  237. 237
    Harri says:

    It was 6 am

    Brrrring brrring… brrrrring brrring

    Hello first and foremost do you know what fucking time it is.

    Oh Hello Mmmmm mmmm Mr …. its Gordon Bro……

    Hello so we can direct you to the next available human being please follow the instructions , please note that this call is recorded for diversity training purposes and will be logged on a giant fucking database for every man and his bastard dog to have access to.

    But its Mmmmmm mmmmmm me Gordo….

    Press one if you wish to continue.

    But it really is mmmmm mmm me Gord….

    Press two if you wish to be told to fuck off at this time in the morning.

    Press three if you wish to be told to fuck off in any other language other than English.

    Or Press four to be connected to the Hunt you just woke up and wish to be told to fuck off to your face you one eyed mental twat.

    Hangs up?

  238. 238
    Anonymous says:

    sorry to bang on about this but I notice another broken toilet seat here – what do Labour MPs do to their loos?

  239. 239
    Anonymous says:

    Completely O/T – I blame Band of Brothers – 101st Airborne were good but they didn’t win the “Battle of the Hedgerows” in Normandy they had a little help from the Brits(& Canadians)

  240. 240
    Cash for Tits says:

    I have only murdered a few people. I could have murdered far more people but I made absolutely sure that did not occur. After calm and due consideration you will see that I only murdered a few people. If, after that, you still feel I have done something inappropriate I will seriously consider apologising. But I only murdered a few people.

  241. 241
    albacore says:

    “what these troughers have done has created a constitutional crisis but they have not actually taken a knife and cut any throats.”
    The whole Parliament is complicit in an unprecedented criminal conspiracy – the intended genocide of the real British people by means of their reduction to a dwindling ethnic minority in their own country.
    There are none so blind as those that will not see.

  242. 242
    Anonymous says:

    Mine’s a double whiskey please.

  243. 243
    Eric Blair says:

    The lamp post outside my huse reserved for my useless MP; Ruth Kelly.

    Oh yes.

  244. 244
    Alan Titmarsh says:

    How often will they need watering?

  245. 245
    jgm2 says:

    The problem is that this government has had 12 years to respond to constructive criticism but has preferred instead to view all criticism as coming from evil saboteurs and enemies of the party and completely fuck up the economy and everything else they’ve turned their infinitely fuckwitted attention to.

    I’m beyond caring if we’re passing into vindictiveness. Because I do feel vindictive. I want them crushed and humiliated. I want their children mocked and scorned for generations to come. I want the history books to either condemn them for eternity or, better still, not mention them at all. Not even dignify their idiocy with a mention in history. Go the whole 1984 experience and declare them non-persons.

    I would not shed one tear if the army took over tomorrow.

    Seriously. The army wouldn’t even need to pass any extra laws to round the bastards up because this government has put all the tools of a dictatorship on the statute book already.

    That’s the kind of fuck-up this government of idiots has delivered.

  246. 246
    Kew Gardens says:

    …or dead heading?

  247. 247
    Earnest Bevin says:


  248. 248
    You can never spend too much money - as long as it is someone else's says: says:

    The writing was on the wall in 97, whilst some were singing ‘things can only get better’ Blair made sure that one of the first things he did was to get ‘Traitors Gate’ bricked up.

  249. 249
    Mrs Malapropellor and Mr Spooner says:

    …or a din of inequity even?

  250. 250
    Old Scrotum says:

    Comeback Matthew Hopkins

  251. 251
    Egocentric trying to revive a career says:

    I am Esther Rantzen and claim my seat to look after an adoring public who need me – Luton South, Totnes, SHunthorpe – I’ll go anywhere.

  252. 252
    Herbert Hoover says:

    It’s Henry Hoover I feel sorry for.

  253. 253
    Siegfried says:

    Action speaks louder then words. Get the bastards out!

    Call out for national mobilisation

    Following yesterdays announcement by Elliot Morley, at 08:00 this morning Mike Taylor of the ElliotMustGo.Com campaign announced live on Radio 4 the formation of a nation wide movement to force all disgraced MP’s to step down and resign with immediate effect.

  254. 254
    Beaver hunter says:

    A husband and wife team operating in europe have been carting away public money for years and not even declaring they are married step forward

    Stephen Hughes MEP and his wife Cindi Beaver aka Hughes.

    He employs her as a political ‘researcher’ – she has many other interests including taking away over £30k from Darlington Council as a cabinet member, then some more as a member of the North East Regional assembly and the rest.

    Between them trousering somewhere around half a mill a year.

    Why not ask them?

    or visit his web site

    Cheating thieving scum.

    anyone know of any more because this sort of factual information should inform voters next week

  255. 255
    Moley says:

    Watch this space.

    Clegg wants proportional representation which has been a long term goal of the Liberal / SDP alliance. aka the Liberal Democrats.

    The question is; will he commit electoral suicide by joining Labour in the Last year of its term to force electoral reform on the people of this country,tearing up any pretence of democracy in the process?

    Major electoral reforms cannot be made by a Government with no mandate to do so.

    Her Majesty should unilaterally dissolve Parliament in order to prevent that happening. Support for her would be unanimous and overwhelming under such circumstances.

  256. 256
    Anonymous says:

    Thanks Gordon, please take the Lib Dems with you. This will guarantee the Conservatives a healthy three figure majority and can fully investigate your actions as chanceller, release the cabinet minutes from before the iraq war, anything to keep the Labour party out for power for a couple of generations.

  257. 257
    You can never spend too much money - as long as it is someone else's says: says:

    Prescott of course had no worries, he would not have fitted through.

  258. 258
    Old Man says:

    I hope everybody saw that NuLabour rabble at Elliott Morley‘s HQ on the News last night. Scruffy arrogant fat fuckers, more angry with the media than their fiddling MP. Did anyone say sorry to the taxpayers? like hell. Just like those Union fucks from the 70s fat, always angry, only interested in themselves.

  259. 259
    Anonymous says:

    “And no one had ever lost his head!”

    Are you mad? Did you not see the Saddam show on youtube? It was great. Obviously it would be far too quick and painless for the liblabcon traitors.

  260. 260
    Executioner's Song says:

    Too medieval. Hanging’s more humane. And totally appropriate for war criminals who start illegal wars under a false premise, resulting in hundreds of thousands of needless civilian deaths. “You know it makes sense.”

  261. 261
    Tattooed_Arry says:

    It’s really simple – offer the electorate a binding referendum (one that our “representatives” cannot weasel out of) on the subject of the restoration of the Death Penalty. You’ll soon find out “the democratic will of the people.” Every poll that I have seen on this topic has shown that given a choice “the people” want the Death penalty reinstated.
    It’s not surprising really – when the Death Penalty was abolished we were told that “Life” would mean Life – now what does it mean? Twelve years?

  262. 262
    Boris says:

    They smash champagne flutes on their loos…

  263. 263
    Anonymous says:

    I think the country would prefer to send you to Coventry, dear.

  264. 264
    Half eyed Scottish idiot says:

    We do need to get real. At the next General Election we will have 2 choices – another 5 years of McMoron and his chums or the Tories.

    There is no other choice. I know which I would rather have.

  265. 265
    Ligature says:

    Well said JGM2.

    Sarcasm and irony can sometimes be far more cutting than a rope round the neck. If the comments here veer between constructive criticism and vindictive childishness it’s because it’s pretty much all we have left to fight with.

    Let’s be clear though. The public are so pissed off that anything could happen. For once it is MP’s who should be looking over their shoulders.

  266. 266
    Atlas shrugged says:

    I agree.

    What we want, and desperately need, is this amount of anger directed to where it is most required.

    Which is The EU and the worlds establishment that have conspired to create it, along with all of their most criminally undemocratic and corrupt practices.

    Our National Parliament is at this moment simply a diversionary tactic.

    SOMEHOW the establishment will use this tactic to further undermine our already fundamentally undermined representative parliamentary democracy. Confidence in, and within parliament will continue to shrink to unknowable depths.

    This entire subject should, but very possibly will not, logically move to The EU, and lets us also hope the MSM and above all The Bloody Bastards Corporation. If it does not do so soon, the REAL common purpose of Common Purpose will be exposed, for most to completely ignore yet again.

    We have had a FASCIST coup by stealth. The counter-revolution will now either start, or it will not.

    Fabianism and its blood cousin Jacobinism is seen to have finally won the day. Which are both forms of revolutionary type MARXISM. Where wealth and therefore power and control is successfully moved from individual citizens and their respective national despots, to pan-national and then to world despotic level.

    This is either the beginning of the end of the beginning of our later reformed European Fascist Super State, or it could turn out to be the beginning of the end of it.

    ONLY time will tell. Although time is now one of the many things we are desperately running out of.

    Personally I have not entirely made my mind up yet, on whether this New World Order is ultimately going to be a better or a worse alternative. However it grieves me much that we are sleepwalking into bondage. Because my common sense and experience inform me that revolutionary constitutional ‘projects’ embarked and enacted on the basis of ignorance and lies, rather then informed honest debate creating common consensus, is without doubt very potentially lethal to the great mass of humanity.

    Which includes us, every bit as much as it includes the people of any other area of this planet.

  267. 267
    Papasmurf says:

    albacore……. I agree there is a criminal conspiracy in Parliament. I have posted as much previously. But not Genocide “of the real British People” WTF is that supposed to mean.

    Whether we like it or not there are real British people on this blog right now that are offended by that remark. Is Guido “real British”?

    Immigration is a justifiable political concern and I for one do think that the uncontrolled access that NuLabour espoused in 1997 have bit them in the bollocks. Just like McPherson opened up “instititional racism” into the language bit them too…… politicise the Police… not think it through… oh in stitutional racism elsewhere….didn’t think of that!! Just like many other policies that were not thought through..we are all now suffering from it.

    But you sound like a Racist Bigot… a bit too far right pointing at 90 degrees methinks.

  268. 268
    Anonymous says:

    Very likely much nicer than Ms Spliff. I wasn’t casting aspersions on porn stars – nice or otherwise, merely commenting that Ms Spliff was available in the flesh, so to speak, while onscreen porn would require the assistance of Madam Palm, nevertheless, this was Mr Spliff’s preference.

  269. 269
    Harri says:

    And dont forget to sand down in between coats for the perfect finish.

    Then hang them !

  270. 270
    Auto Asphyxia says:

    Good for you Siegfried. Where do we sign?

  271. 271
    Henry Hoover says:

    Believe me, I’ve got to put up with a lot!

  272. 272
    Lanchester Lad says:

    We don’t want her here !!!

  273. 273
    Tattooed_Arry says:

    Don’t forget Jack “Skunk” Straw – can’t we offer immunity to their Drug-Dealers/Customers in return for testimony?

  274. 274
    John says:

    Is this a Nazi salute Brown is doing in the photo in his contribution to The Sun?

  275. 275
    The Jackal says:

    Just twitter me

  276. 276
    It doesn't add up... says:

    Getting Jonah’s curse is more than enough to make you cry

  277. 277
    Silvio Lolita says:

    Moonlighting as a Roman traffic cop more like.

  278. 278
    Beaver hunter says:

    The following is from Open Europe’s press report of today

    Leading opponent of UK’s 48-hour opt-out pockets thousands in MEP allowances

    The News of the World reported that Labour MEP Stephen Hughes is claiming his full £42,000 office allowance this year, despite his office rent being just £1,642. He also pays his wife, a local Councillor, £40,000 to be his “chief of staff”. The paper notes that he is not breaking any rules, as the EU permits members to claim the full amount even if they do not spend it. It also notes that “he could have raked in hundreds of thousands from the benefit over his 25-year MEP career.” Stephen Hughes is leading the European Parliament’s campaign to end the UK’s opt-out from the 48-hour week.

  279. 279
    Anonymous says:

    Yes, from their shoelaces. Dead heading wouldn’t be required. At some time in the future, with natural decomposition etc, the body & hanging basket would drop to the ground, the head would then also fall to the ground. The hanging basket could be retrieved for re-use – provided it wasn’t too badly damaged – the head put on the appropriate pike & the body heaved into the river. Simple, clean & no high funeral fees.

  280. 280
    Beaver hunter says:

    put one up for the MEPs as well

    The following is from Open Europe’s press report of today

    Leading opponent of UK’s 48-hour opt-out pockets thousands in MEP allowances

    The News of the World reported that Labour MEP Stephen Hughes is claiming his full £42,000 office allowance this year, despite his office rent being just £1,642. He also pays his wife, a local Councillor, £40,000 to be his “chief of staff”. The paper notes that he is not breaking any rules, as the EU permits members to claim the full amount even if they do not spend it. It also notes that “he could have raked in hundreds of thousands from the benefit over his 25-year MEP career.” Stephen Hughes is leading the European Parliament’s campaign to end the UK’s opt-out from the 48-hour week.

  281. 281
    anonybot says:

    Correct ! On June 4th we are one of the areas where there is both local and euro-elections. I intend to vote Conservative at the locals to get rid of the Labour Council and UKIP at the euros just to make sure that Labour come 4th. However at the General Election as you say there is only one way to get rid of Labour and that is vote Conservative.Voting for LibDems or minor parties then is just ensuring Labour cling to power either by a revised Lib-Lab Pact or making them the largest party and a minority government.

    Whilst I’m mad at the MPs in the Conservative Party who have been found troughing I’m not that mad that I want another 5 years of Labour and Brown and I’d vote for the Devil to get rid of them

  282. 282
    Anonymous says:

    I have just listened to a program on radio4 where it was stated that even after the expences reforns go through MPs will still get FIRST CLASS rail travel warants, the Bastards ought to be in cattle trucks, Our armed forces only get third class warants and the are fighting and dying for us including these greedy shitbags,ITS A DISGRACE

  283. 283
    Anonymous says:

    Gordon Brown’s trouser pocket? And from there to an Icelandic account (if only).

  284. 284
    jgm2 says:

    Just you watch. Emergency legislation to bring in PR. Labour and Liberals form government post election.

    Labour still largest party. Brown still PM.

    The Liberals bought off with a few well-paid but meaningless cabinet posts. Minister for the Environment and such. In any case Brown continues to rule without listening to anybody in cabinet. Probably even harder for Labour Mps to toss him out.

  285. 285
    Germoloids says:

    What no show trails!

    Uncle Joe always did things properly.

  286. 286
    Anonymous says:

    M’mm – I think your Moral Compass may need another teeny weeny adjustment Gordon – on the other hand, I’d pay a lot to see Gorbals Mick pole dancing.

  287. 287
    Esther Rantzen says:

    But everone loves me. I am an INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALIST!

  288. 288
    Stronghold Barricades says:


  289. 289
    Anonymous says:

    What makes you think that Esther Rantzen couldn’t do a better job that Margaret Moran or whatever her name was?

  290. 290
    Big Kahuna Burger says:

    “And the meek shall inherit the earth.”

    Or least the likes of Ian Dale and Nick Clegg will.

    For all their limp posturing they have at least embraced the internet, and are having their ideas tested in the furnace of public opinion almost daily.

    Let’s hope that those who replace the troughers understand that they too will be crucified publicly if they do not act more openly and accountably.

    Dolly Draper was right for once in his small, mean spirited life. You can’t ignore the internet. Without it you are dead.

  291. 291
    Anonymous says:

    20 miles up the road from me.
    No thanks.
    I don’t want establishment elitists, under whatever banner.
    Particularly when they are quite such pain in the necks.
    Couldn’t she go to somewhere like Manchester?

  292. 292
    Susie says:

    Make him Speaker.

  293. 293
    realist says:

    The families are almost certainly from the ethnic minority so the Tories will trip over themselves to praise the initiative and offer £666,000,000 more for the rest of the local bangla town community.

  294. 294
    Scallywag says:

    Rope shares are up…

  295. 295
    Queen of Hearts says:

    Just bung a guillotine in Trafalgar Square.
    Good for tourism too.
    They would pay good money to watch and it would mean the taxpayer getting a penny in the pound back on their stolen taxes.

  296. 296
    Ralph Furious says:

    I have reserved a really pretty lampost for Adrian Sanderson here in Torqay. It has some very nice hanging baskets. He’s currently refusing to divulge any of his expenses (if you’re hiding something it’s because you’ve got something to hide) & is brazening it out with the local paper’s requests for open-ness. He just doesn’t get it….we the people pay the bills so we want to know what he’s spending it on. He’s just the hired help. If he won’t tell us – we’ll ‘hire’ someone else. Simple really – the cnut.

  297. 297
    Atlas shrugged says:


    I don’t think you properly understand what crimes these people are really guilty of. Fiddling expenses is hardly a capital crime. If stealing money from the tax payer to pay for their own personal life stiles, was their only crime against their own electorates, public anger would be relatively minimal.

    They are ALL personally responsible for TREASON. Which if not still a capital crime, it most surly should be.

    Signing binding treaties to foreign or otherwise, totally undemocratic and therefore unaccountable bodies, in direct contradiction of all stated intent, IS TREASON written large.

    Conspiring directly with banksters to deliberately bankrupt ones own nation and its individual citizens, is maybe not treason as such. However it is still one hell of a crime, don’t you think?

  298. 298
    Anonymous says:

    I’m really beginning to wonder whether the ballot box will enable sufficient reforms or whether there’s going to have to be a revolution.

  299. 299
    Stephen says:

    There’s nothing worse than the morally repulsive displaying moral outrage. Get a grip you stupid fuckers.

  300. 300
    Bordeaux Binger says:

    I agree that he is unlikely to resign I also think that he will call for a GE rather than face Conference in October. In the words of Boy Dave – Bring it on.

  301. 301
    It doesn't add up... says:

    Does SLeazyjet fly from Luton Airport?

  302. 302
    You Say Mushy Peas, I Say Guacamole says:

    I am sure Nick Clegg is just dying to wrap himself in the shitty blanket that is the Labour Party.

  303. 303
    Piano Tuner says:

    Guido do you realise that there are 220 strings and 88 keys on a piano? That’s going to take a lot of MPs to make a replica concert grand. Perhaps your countrymen at Guiness would like to come over and record the event.

  304. 304
    Beat Policeman says:

    Trying to pervert the course of justice eh Gordon?

  305. 305
    eeyup says:

    What’s up,are you an MP.

  306. 306
    Mary says:

    Yep, just tell them they are being taken to a guillotine debate.

  307. 307
    Housing Hubba Bubba says:

    Looks like the magnet’s fallen out of your moral compass Gordon.
    Better go and get another one for Ed. At this rate the 3000 magnets he purchased aren’t going to last long.

  308. 308
    God defend the right says:

    What makes you think that with PR, Labour will get any votes? I thought it would be worse for them (and better for the public) if we removed the pro-labour effect of the smaller constituencies.

  309. 309
    Anonymous says:

    …or back to the Celebrity Jungle.

  310. 310
    Sticks and Stones says:

    Yeah, let’s leave moral outrage to professional politicians.

  311. 311
    God defend the right says:

    What’s all this about a Cleaning Bill? Is this to be put before the Commons and Lords so they can debate it and pass a Cleaning Act?

  312. 312
    Esther Rantzen says:

    But I’m terribly famous and did well on “Strictly Come Dancing”, so I would make an excellent MP.

  313. 313
    Anonymous says:

    Dolly’Billy Graham’ Drooper & his own personal God are now happily sucking up to each other. God is busily telling Dezzy that it doesn’t matter that he lied about his qualifications or about RedRag as long as he worships Him & Dezzy is busily telling God that he could easily run a really cool web blog for Him – he’s suggesting selling the Samsonite travelling confessional & the MPs Catholic Conversion Kit from the website as one of his mates – some Irish bloke I think – Mac something, can’t just remember the whole name – could source them really cheaply from China. Leopards don’t change their spots do they?

  314. 314
    Mr Mnar says:

    I’ve put my poster up for Claire light fingers Ward.

    Party leaders are still a total disgrace.

    I see the leader of the con artists has finally bowed to public opinion and agreed that MPs should be prosecuted for crimes. Unfortunately he still just doesn’t get the public mood and is only agreeing to MPs who have fiddled mortgage payments and not all MPs who have fiddled their expenses. He still is not going far enough and this is far to little and far to late.

    I hope he and all the MPs from every party get what they deserve. Even if we do have to wait for another year to do what there leaders and the police should be doing now!

    When will the all party leaders and the police actually do something about these crimes?

    I cannot wait for the 3 main parties to be taken down at the next election. Really looking forward to a brand new parliament that actually works for the people for the very first time. The current crooks will all be extinct in one years time despite the fact they should be locked up now.

  315. 315
    Anonymous says:

    And badly broken Moral Compasses.

  316. 316
    Magnus Magnusson says:

    You have really given this some thought haven’t you?

  317. 317
    Atlas shrugged says:

    Oh but I dont think you understand the true situation.

    Governments, that is the REAL governing class, not the ones that ever go up for any type of election process, are perfectly petrified of the common people. That is why they periodically murder so many of us, when not also systematically robbing us all blind. They also get up to a whole long list of highly nasty things, like for example creating the BBC, and all of the utter untruths, propaganda and general disinformation it daily broadcasts.

    Have a heart, these people have virtually everything to lose, not much left to gain, and one hell of a lot of people that would gladly feed them to the dogs, if they ever get to properly understand the enormous scale of the crimes that have been committed on them. Never mind the consistent and well repeated lies they have been told to them, while these crimes where being collectively ignored by their infinitely over-trusted MSM.

  318. 318
    Anonymous says:

    We could even go green, and recycle the MPs’ skulls as additional hanging baskets!

  319. 319
    albacore says:

    I don’t give a rat’s sphincter what I sound like to you or any other dimwit.
    Google is our friend. Use it or don’t.
    Take a look at the country around you and extrapolate what it will look like when your kids are your age.
    Nobody knows what our population numbers. The Office of National Statistics is about to run a panic count – but it won’t reveal the outcome until after the next general election.
    As for MacPherson, he didn’t invent the term “institutional racism”. He changed its meaning completely to the insane and thenceforth punishable if practised concept of racism of which neither the perpetrator nor the victim is aware. Witch-hunting, 20th Century-style.
    You couldn’t make it up. He did.

  320. 320
    Leagle Beagle says:

    clearly anon is an MP (and likes to agree with himself) not a step to far, its just a bit of a joke. This is the UK lighten up a bit, if you dont laugh you’d cry at the current state of things!

  321. 321
    Anonymous says:

    I had to post this. It is written by a self-defense expert.

    “First a warrior, or all else is folly”

    OUR late friend, the kenpo-karate expert John McSweeney, often quoted the above statement. It was from John that we first heard it. It is appropriate to the thesis at hand.

    It is not at all popular today to advocate the warrior spirit and warrior skills for the private citizen. Yet those who insist that “only the police” or “only the military” should in fact be in possession of arms and be training in lethal close quarters combat skills, are advocating a position that is nothing less than tyranny.

    The right to self-defense when the individual’s person, property, rights, or dignity is being violated by any entity — individual, group, government, or “official” organization of any description — must be recognized as an unconditional absolute, or there is no real freedom and there are no individual rights, at all. It is preposterous and intellectually insulting and offensive to say that someone has the right to his person, his privacy, his property, and the prerogative of deciding that which he will do in life and how he will live, and then in the same breath to mutter that his right to protect and to defend all or any of this is “limited” or is subject to the permissions and approvals of some “higher human authority” — emperor, ayatollah, king, queen, potentate, fürer, prime minister, presidium, committee, collective, proletariat, or president, etc. That people have bought this latter bullshit since the species first came out of the trees is merely a confirmation of their stupidity, uselessness, and — in general — lack of any capacity to appreciate that which their nature requires for living as human beings on earth. It does not alter the irrevocable fact that any situation save that of POLITICAL FREEDOM and PERSONAL AUTONOMY is, as far as any creature deserving of the designation “human” is concerned, evil.

    This principle is, we maintain, an absolute. It is valid regardless of the degree to which one cares to put it to the test. Thus, a schooyard bully and a thug government differ only in degree, not in quality; and both must be dealt with in the same manner: by applying self-defensive force. The right to employ and to apply such force must always be held to be unconditional and absolute, or true civilization cannot exist.

    The private, free citizen of a properly run constitutional republic that is built upon the premises that the Founding Fathers of the United States of America gave us, has an absolute and unconditional right to defend himself, his family, his home, his community, and his nation. He does not “derive” this right from some collection of disgusting, law-degreed, scumbag, powerlusting, psychopathic, greedy, inexcusable bastards who managed to con the sea of braindead window dummies all around him into voting them into office. The only legitimate “office” that may properly be held by anyone in a government such as the one that used to exist in the United States of America, is an office dedicated to the protection of those rights — Natural, Human Rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness — guaranteed to be recognized and upheld by the Constitution of the United States of America, and the Bill of Rights.

    In a free country the PRIVATE CITIZEN is supreme. Such law enforcement officials as may need to be employed are the servants not the masters of the citizenry. It is they (the servants) who derive their “right” to be armed and to use weapons from those whom they serve; it is not the other way around — i.e. the way it is today. The citizenry — in a free nation — may decide to disarm the police. Only in a tyranny may the police act to disarm the citizenry.

    As for the military, the Founding Fathers established the right system. Never ought the military in a free nation to be used against the citizenry. N-E-V-E-R.

    Obviously, things are now upside down in this Country. When they were predominantly rightside up (ie prior to 1960) an essay such as this one could never have been inspired, and would never have been necessary.

    Every human being has the right — the EQUAL right — to defend himself. No innocent individual human life is “more entitled” to be defended than is another. And in order to exercise that right, every individual has the right to acquire, maintain, and when and if necessary use the skills and the tools with which defense of himself and those whom he loves may be undertaken.

    Some careful thought will demonstrate that in a feral world (and we live in a very feral world) those who lack the skills and the tools with which self-protection may be implemented are at the mercy of any predatory individual(s) who chooses to employ force in order to violate others physically, and/or in order to take or to destroy the property of others.

    The conclusion, therefore, that indeed, one must first of all be a warrior, or all else is folly, can be seen to be very logical. What good are rights without the power to defend them? Of what use or good is it to BE “right”, when you lack the ability to defend your position against those who are “wrong”?

    First a warrior, or all else is folly.

    One final thought about the “Rights of Man”: It is crucial to comprehend that these rights exist for all men, everywhere, and for all time. These rights can be violated (as they have always been in the Western European, Eastern European, and Asian socialist states), or as they are now being flagrantly violated and trammeled in the United States of America. But they are absolute and they are the proper estate of every human being — acknowledged and recognized, or not. This was the thesis of our Founding Fathers in America, and the Document that they authored (not to “provide” man’s rights, but to recognize them as unalienably inviolate) — the Constitution of the United States of America and the Bill of Rights — may be shredded and burned, but that in no sense negates, abridges, or even remotely affects the TRUTH of those Rights of Man being his; and being his forever and for all time.

    It is these facts that stand as sanctification for every man’s right to be a warrior first, with all of that which his so being implies.

    More: YOUR “being a warrior first”, dear reader, is, when you ponder the matter, much more than your prerogative. It becomes, when you take your status as a free man seriously, your obligation.

    –Bradley J. Steiner

  322. 322
    barefootcontessa says:

    Having a week off? Still biting his nails, now down to the quick.

  323. 323
    chronic says:

    In the light of recent events this is my proposed new goverment:-

    Prime Minister, First Lord of the Treasury and Minister for the Civil Service Rt Hon David Brent
    Chancellor of the Exchequer Rt Hon Ken Dodd
    Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs Rt Hon Alf Garnet
    Secretary of State for Justice and Lord Chancellor Rt Hon Judge Dread
    Secretary of State for the Home Department Rt Hon Robo Cop
    Secretary of State for Health Rt Hon Quincey MD
    Secretary of State for Business, Enterprise and Regulatory Reform Rt Hon Del Boy
    Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs Rt Hon Anibal Lecter
    Secretary of State for International Development Rt Hon Lex Luther
    Secretary of State for Defence Rt Hon Rambo
    Leader of the House of Commons and Lord Privy Seal Rt Hon Chubby Brown
    Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government Rt Hon League of Gentlemen
    Secretary of State for Transport Rt Hon Thomas the Tank Engine
    Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families Rt Hon Gary Glitter
    Secretary of State for Energy and Climate Change Rt Hon Windy Miller
    Secretary of State for Work and Pensions Rt Hon Logan (Logans Run)
    Secretary of State for Northern Ireland Rt Hon Frank Carson
    Leader of the House of Lords and Lord President of the Council Rt Hon Katey Price
    Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport Rt Hon sir Les Patterson
    Secretary of State for Innovation, Universities and Skills Rt Hon Forest Gump
    Chief Secretary to the Treasury Rt Hon Lester Pigott
    Secretary of State for Wales Rt Hon Captain Ahab
    Secretary of State for Scotland Rt Hon Rab C Nesbit

  324. 324
    String em up says:

    To papa at 128 and that other fannypad whose name and number I can’t be arsed to scroll back to-

    No not dishonesty, nor sexual. Good decent bar row. Violence I suppose, self defence really, though my brief was shite. Nothing more. Such is life.

    And papa, no hypocracy at all. I served the time for my crime. Your bumboy friends in the commons won’t.

  325. 325
    barefootcontessa says:

    And most importantly you forgot to mention taking us into an illegal war! Tony Blair is to blame for this, and for his diabolical government Newlabour! and much
    much more, and all of it bad.

  326. 326
    String em up says:

    I retract and apologise, stronghold.

  327. 327
    Harri says:

    Dont they just… 911 ? 7/7 ? Madrid?

    Iraq , Afghanistan, Vietnam,

    Soon be Irans turn , then Venezuala, then North Korea..

    So expect another ” outrage ” quite soon.

  328. 328
    Piano tuner says:

    There are 220 strings in a piano, so if we are going to get this right and tune the hanging MPs into a Large upright, then we may have to utilise other street furniture around Parliament such as CCTV camera posts and retractable bollards.

  329. 329
    Harri says:

    In the Gorgons bunker it is so full of shit even the rats wear overalls ?

  330. 330
    grobdj says:

    He’s cleaning up politics

    Maybe he’ll come clean and repay the £6500 he claimed for his brothers cleaner who cleaned the flat that he wasn’t using

    Or does he think that’s all been forgotten?

  331. 331
    Atlas shrugged says:

    Bordeaux Binger.

    Further to your comment.

    Yes you are very possibly correct, and so they should be.

    However we have a name for this sort of person, it is a ‘fall-guy.’

    This can not be allowed to settle or finish at simply the very lowly British MP level.

    This form of corruption go’s to a much higher level. Otherwise it would not have been allowed to happen in the first place. Or someone somewhere in the main stream media would have successfully alerted us and our systematically corrupted MP’s to this dangerous situation, almost as soon as it had ‘accidentally’ happened.

    Always remembering that if it appears to have been an ‘accident,’ where government is concerned, especially when the BBC reports or NOT on a matter, it extremely rarely is in reality anything other then yet another secretive secret government conspiracy. Working at every level it can manage to constitutionally cement their not so brave or new, Brave New World.

  332. 332
    barefootcontessa says:

    Actually, (as Jackie smith would say), there’s a special cream for this condition. You get them from sitting on cold surfaces.

  333. 333
    String em up says:

    Fuckin A. I’m with Harri.

    And Papasmurf, is still a Gay.

  334. 334
    papasmurf says:

    albacore…….. you give a bad name to humanity…….so just what do you suggest is the answer seeing as you are so opinionated as to the rpoblems… I haven’t noticed you giving any solutions out. Or are you just a Hang em high sort of guy?

    And if you are so disenchanted why haven’t just packed your bags and f*ucked off already? Or is it that you have tried but have been rejected because of your criminal record?

  335. 335
    barefootcontessa says:

    What about all the ‘paybacks’ blair will have picked up since LEAVING office?

  336. 336
    M.T.BUCKET says:

    Far to intellectual against whot we have been used to.

  337. 337
    Right Bastard says:

    Just not the British way.

  338. 338
    Class War Federation says:


  339. 339
    Mancunian Electorate says:

    WE don’t want HER either !!!!

  340. 340
    Vincent Vega says:

    Secretary of State for Justice and Lord Chancellor: Samuel Jackson

    “The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides with the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon those with great vengeance and with furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know that my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee”

  341. 341
    Henry V - MP for Monmouth. says:

    ‘Once more unto the trough, dear friends, once more;
    Or close the wall up with our expense receipts.’

  342. 342
    Snakes,Spiders and Wichety Grubs says:

    Even WE refused to do the Bush Tucker Trial when she was selected !!!

  343. 343
    MohammedIsfahir says:

    It’s not that. I think Moran is a hideous example of what lowering standards in our political system leads to.

    MPs like her should be gotten rid of and replaced with sensible, honest people; but these people should be seasoned professionals, well qualified, experienced and respected, intelligent and capable.

    I don’t want equality in our politics – I want a real cutthroat meritocracy. I’m not concerned about the number of men, women or ethnic minorites in our Parliament. I want the most resourceful and capable to win votes, which they will do.

    I think we are capable of demanding and receiving that.

    Fuck Labour and their articifial tinkering with the civil service and the political class. Look at the Soviet Union – their politics was initially based on similar ideas of the wisdom of the average citizen, and lower standards in the civil service. And what happened?

    I can think of nothing worse than a HOC dominated by people voted in off the street for their ‘honesty’ and ‘simplicity’ to solve a temporary problem, especially celebrities and impulsive chancers.

    The current batch of MPs have made huge mistakes, and many of them will go. But we can’t undermine our political system by destroying it through misplaced notions of what yer average joe can achieve in power.

    I think I’m being realistic.

    JGM2, you won’t be singing the same tune when we get martial law imposed as a result of a collapse of the political system. This country has never been through the crises that other places with REAL chaos and corruption have been. The Winter of Discontent, compared to things happening in central europe, was a walk in the park. I don’t know if you have experienced martial law yourself, but it’s certainly not pretty. I doubt you would back up your hyperbole when the shit really did hit the fan and you found yourself as a nameless citizen facing the gun barrels of the state.

  344. 344
    Guido Fawkes says:

    Gerry Adams?

  345. 345
    Anonymous says:

    “I CAME into politics because I wanted to change the world. ” first line in The Sun article.

    Well you certainly did THAT Gordon – starting with fucking up the UK Economy !

  346. 346
    Right Bastard says:

    Tie him up and throw him in the river. If he floats, he’s guilty. If he sinks, he’s innocent.

    BTW – that applies to female MPs/witches too.

  347. 347
    Harri says:

    Jack Russells i do believe have a taste for rats , and they are nippy little bastards.

    Bloodhounds would also come in usefull in hunting down stray MPs on the run , apparently a Bloodhound can smell bullshit from fucking miles away.

  348. 348
    Anonymous says:

    David Dimbleby in Any Questions last night clearly didn’t think too much of her intention of standng for Parliament – and he’s quite right too.

  349. 349
    Jack Ketch says:

    Just ’cause you’re all too lazy to build a proper gallows.

  350. 350
    Papasmurf says:

    String em up…….. “Good decent bar row. Violence I suppose,”

    so knocking 10 bells of shit out of someone is “decent” What you are actually saying is I got pissed out of my skull and bottled someone disfiguring him for life.

    you went to prison for a) the seriousness of the offence you committed b) you have previous convictions that necessitated you going to prison.

    Oh and your “brief was shite”……… oh the “system” was all wrong then?

    I don’t have any bumboy friends in the commons… I believe they should all be prosecuted and join that club with a criminal record number, DNA reference and sudden belief in a God.
    you and albacore should go down to Matalan and buy some brown shirts.

  351. 351
    Susie says:

    That’s an oxymoron and I claim my £6,000.

  352. 352
    Cliched Quotes. says:

    Softly, softly catchee monkey!

  353. 353
    MohammedIsfahir says:

    What a load of cock.

    This means that if I attack a guy in a wheelchair, I can claim that he was not enough of a warrior to defend himself.

    Bollocks that we live in a ‘very feral world’. Perhaps somewhere in Darfur. Not in England.

    Finally, you assume that every person will agree on what excessive and justifiable force can be. Have a look at your local high street, at night or in fact any argument about the legal powers of the state, and you’ll see that is also bollocks.

    Schoolyard bullies and government are fuck all like each other.

    I’m sorry, but martial arts experts should stick to self defense and not fucking theories of the state.

  354. 354
    Harri says:

    And all the “righteous” go ….. Gulp?

  355. 355
    Papasmurf says:

    Those that have served time inside should not cry out too loudly about homosexuality.

    As you well know knobhead…. it is you that had to endure the salty toothpaste not me not anyone else that think your Attilla the Hun beliefs are normal.

  356. 356
    Esther Rantzen says:


  357. 357
    Anonymous says:

    Well it worked for Jonathan Aitken who “found God” when in prison and also John Profumo!

    O/T -I couldn’t resist quoting Aitken’s speech again – It seems so prescient in the present circumstances

    “If it falls to me to start a fight to cut out the cancer of bent and twisted journalism in our country with the simple sword of truth and the trusty shield of British fair play, so be it. I am ready for the fight. The fight against falsehood and those who peddle it. My fight begins today.” Jonathan Aitken MP – At his press conference which was swiftly followed by trial and a prison term

  358. 358
    Mr Beeching says:

    What do you expect? I mean, heaven forbid that an MP should actually have to sit with ordinary people, you know, the ones who he or she represents and whose taxes pay for their lifestyles.

    And travelling second class would also mean – god forbid – standing up – putting up with the same nazi piss-stinking cattle truck conditions that the rest of us have to endure because this fucking lazy shit eating excuse of a poxy government once put a fat useless thick hopeless pie scoffing fucktard like Two Jags in charge of a so called “intergrated transport policy” which is shorthand for fucking up public transport altogether and allowing most of us to be priced off the railways because we don’t have the luxury of having our tickets paid for by the taxpayer.

  359. 359
    Susie says:

    Ok have Samuel L, so long as I’m not on brain detail.

    And another especially for Blears, Smith, Moran et al., “You need to know the difference between being a character and having one.”

  360. 360
    albacore says:

    There, there, Papasmurf,
    Sorry, no convictions at all, never even a parking ticket.
    Plus, I have no intention of skedaddling from the country I love.
    My solution? Well, within lawful means, I intend to start by voting for the party that Guido doesn’t approve of our mentioning.
    That party’s manifesto appears on its website, so needs no elaboration.
    I would, of course, give careful consideration to your views on the nature and scope of the problems we face and your preferred solutions.

  361. 361
    Harri says:

    Still sounds a bit on the quick side , can we singe them first , then cut their hands off, gouge their eyes out then burn them?

  362. 362
    Ratsniffer says:

    I think you’ll find that there is a by-law forbidding the use of lamp posts for “the suspension of any wires, decorations, signs, notices, fencing, plants, baskets or MPs without prior notification in writing.”

  363. 363

    How is this for a plot?

    Gordon gets really hammered in the County and European Election on Thursday June 4th.

    Sunday press on June 7th make it worse as Euro votes are counted.

    Peter Hain, Charles Clarke or some Big Beast from the past sticks the boot in the following week at Westminster sometime between June 8th and 11th and threaten to be a stalking horse candidate.

    Weekend of June 13th and 14th is full of bad news for Gordon and calls from backbenches for him to go.

    Peter Mandelson tells him his time is up and even his offer of Foreign Secretary isn’t enough.

    Gordon decides to stay in place until new Labour Leader is chosen.

    Labour elect new leader in late August and under growing pressure are forced to call a General Election in late September thus forcing party conference season to be called off.

    Scenario 1: Hattie Harman gets thrashed and Cameron wins with landslide majority like Blair in 1997.

    Scenario 2: Johnson or either of the Milibongs get beaten but Tory majority is only about 60 enabling Johnson or Milibong to stay on as Leader of the Opposition.

    It could happen!

  364. 364
    Harri says:

    Oh , and will we have to fill out a risk assessment and job instruction worksheet beforehand!

    We would not want to fall foul of the Law.

  365. 365
    Sir William Waad says:

    Gordon is being restrained and kept under sedation by Ministers and PR types who realise that support for Labour drops by another two points every time he speaks in public.

  366. 366
    Mr Christopher says:

    The Guilty now reveal themselves by their inaction. The Commissioner of the MPS should explain why so very few police resources have been applied to the detection of these very serious crimes.

  367. 367
    Harri says:

    How many points does Mc Twat get for sitting in the middle of the cabinet table with drool dripping from his mouth while uttering……Wibble to passers by ?

  368. 368
    Sir William Waad says:

    I still can’t get my head round the idea of a ‘legal war’. It sounds so like a ‘tasteful torturer’ or a ‘sensitive serial kiler’. War is a process of imposing one’s will by extreme violence involving the infliction of death, very severe and lasting pain and widespread destruction. One can have a just or unjust war but the question of whether a war is ‘legal’ is as trivial as asking whether a hangman’s noose is smooth or scratchy.

  369. 369
    Housing Hubba Bubba says:


  370. 370
    Sir William Waad says:

    Defenestration would be more fun. It’s more spectacular than hanging and, of course, the fatter the MP, the bigger the splat. Those with a sense of greed and adventure could try to catch the money that fell out of the MPs’ pockets and purses.

    You’d need to tag them first, so that you could recognise them afterwards.

  371. 371
    Revenge is very sweet says:

    ok,so when some bastard mugs you,do you give them the wallet AND the car keys and then invite them home to do the missus and take the flatscreen?
    Wow – you really do not get it do you mister?!

  372. 372
    An Anatomical point says:

    He’s already dead – the mouth movement is extended rigor mortis.

  373. 373
    Brown - the colour of shit says:

    You are forgetting about the men in white coats (and a SAS team) who have to go in to the Panic Room, deep in Downing Street and prise Brown’s fingernails from the wall as he still refuses to go – all this as Cameron holds his first Cabinet meeting upstairs……

  374. 374
    Robc says:

    I like this scenario better – whenever Brown or his successor calls an election New labour is totally wiped off the face of the map and our 12 year nightmare ends. What a fuxxxxx relief.

  375. 375
    Chris says:

    Hope its a reinforced steel post. Concrete can crack.

  376. 376
    Salvador Dali says:

    This is no time for realism.

  377. 377
    Geek Boy says:

    Is this the right time to mention that everyone should back-up their hyperbole at least once a week?

  378. 378
    Holywood Producer. says:

    We’ll get Spielberg to direct. And Tom Hanks can play Gordon

  379. 379
    Housing Hubba Bubba says:

    I don’t think the Commissioner can get a mobil signal on the golf course.

  380. 380
    albacore says:

    Ooh, didn’t notice you down here, Papasmurf.
    Brown shirts? Good one. How I larfed!
    Suspected thought-crime content early warning!!!!!
    Assume the standard Defcon 1 insufferable indignation position now.
    Do you get your burkas wholesale or do you just liberate a few post boxes and re-spray them blue?

  381. 381
    Papasmurf says:

    albacore…… see Post 338………… it was a bit obvious that your style of dress was brownshirts.

    So all opinions but only one solution…….. vote for the far right….. very well thought out that argument…….doh doh…don’t have a solution but I think what is written in what I think doh doh.

    The solution to immigration is not simple but it is possible…it is to apply the laws that exist and ensure the immigration agency has suffficient staff to apply the law. It is to come out of the EU and ensure that all means of transport eg airlines are fined if any passenger does not have the correct paperwork. Further it is to allow people to work if they have papers but do not allow them “benefits” until they have paid an amount of tax and NI that is equilvilent to what they would have paid if a natural born citizen was in employment and paying his dues. It is to discourage the idea that the UK is a soft touch. Doing this economically.

    What it is NOT is alienating communities that are now established, but it is ensuring that people that are now citizens to enjoy the benefits that this country does have. But will be very sparing for us all once the new regime takes over from McBroon after he has ruined the economy necessitating tax rises.

    There is no simple answer to it but at least we can try to re establish a sense of Britishness and get all to speak one language as their mother tongue.

    The very nature of being British is one of integration of many different races over the centuries…….. even you would be surprised that you are most probably of immigarnt descendant.

    Oh and I don’t believe you don’t have a record……. even if you have never been arrested……… you HAVE a record…….you just don’t know it.

  382. 382
    Sailor says:

    I take it your are not fond of them then.

  383. 383
    Anonymous says:

    Surely Guido is not anti-politics, but is against those who are troughers, which is far from all MPs. So, this post goes a bit wide of the mark.

    Incidentally, is it not so that whereas MacKay and Kirkbride have been fairly nailed for claiming the second-home allowance on separate homes, Labour’s Ed Balls and Yvette Cooper have so far not really been examined half as thoroughly over both claiming second-home allowance because they more cannily nominated the same house. The net effect is still that the taxpayer pays twice.

  384. 384
    papasmurf says:

    albacore…… now the Muslin taunts………you really are quite the biscuit aren’t you? tatooed, shaven headed and bovver boots no doubt.

    Albacore = fish……….. very fishy

    Alba = Scotland
    Core = centre

    You are Gorbals Mick from Glasgae and I claim my seat in the Lords.

  385. 385
    Red Alert says:

    “The contempt of [Ms Moran’s] constituents was summed up the same afternoon when one of them took a can of red paint to her constituency office and, in a reference to her possible successor, daubed the words “That’s Life” on the door. “

  386. 386
    Grytpype-thynne says:


  387. 387
  388. 388
    A Silent Emission of Bowel Gas says:

    Cameron’s New Labour isn’t going to be any better than Blair’s New Labour.

    I’m with Hitchens on this.

    The Conservative Party is a feather pillow in a velvet glove.

    Same government, different faces.

  389. 389
    Grytpype-thynne says:

    The website appears to be unaccountably down.I wonder why?

  390. 390
    Harri says:

    Inspiration … i was going to go to a self awareness course , but to be honest i really couldnt be arsed to go.

  391. 391
    I have finally found one of the 16% says:

    “As Labour has tried to bring civilized traits to Britain the masses rebel. In bringing these traits it has allowed these masses a voice but these masses turn into a mob acting against the civilizing forces and this is encouraged by the media. I am confused.”

    Richard Davie, Burntisland, Scotland

  392. 392
    Sailor says:

    Happy to oblige.

  393. 393
    Grytpype-thynne says:

    The only way we will all get the GE that is now essential is for Whitehall,Trafalgar Square and Northumberland Avenue are filled with thousands of people demanding it.

  394. 394
    thick as thieves says:

    ah, did someone mention applications?
    you anarchist motherfuckers are a bunch of jokers!
    please fill out a thick as thieves fan club application form if you really want to be involved in smashing the satanist machine and ripping its fucking wires out.
    I will closely scrutinise your application and I must tell, even at this early stage that your chances of being declined are very high.
    you anarchists had your chance and you fucking blew it.
    you are now nothing more than police agent provocateurs: useful idiots whose acts of petty violence are used as an excuse by the police to attack innocent bystanders.
    worse than fucking useless!

  395. 395
    Madbadger says:

    total gobshite. But what else would you expect from a spaced out (steroid junkie) martial arts wankstain. Bet he’s got whacky tattoos too and a shaved head. Re the troughers, can’t Damien Hirst do a chainsaw / formaldehyde job?.

  396. 396
    Stewie Griffin says:

    Shove his set top box up his arse – without rounding the corners off first

  397. 397
    Morpheus says:

    Unplug him from the Matrix, he’s had enough.

  398. 398
    Boris says:


    But it will be interesting to see the handful of Labour MPs that survive the meltdown..

    Mostly from Nu Labour Tribal Areas I forecast…with heavy dose of postal voting..

    Interesting for the new government to “investigate”…

  399. 399
    Martin Peters says:

    Clearly Ms Kirkbride’s former lover was 10, or even 15, years ahead of his time

  400. 400
    MI5 says:

    Part of the Scottish Labour Working Class Catholic MAJORITY I assume…

  401. 401
    Benny says:

    Someone needs to draw up a map of these Labour Tribal Areas so we know what we are dealing with…

    I cannot even place half of them on a map of Britain…

  402. 402
    Ratsniffer says:

    One can only hope that Camo is keeping his powder dry and that once in power the real tory with balls will blossom to get this shit-stained country back on track again and clean up a decade of Nulab ruination. I’m not holding my breath, though.

  403. 403
    Historian says:

    I tend to agree

    But Cameron if elected will have the worst financial situation in Britain’s history to deal with.. He will have to try and fund hundreds of billions of £ with a gilts market that is already virtually saturated..

    Far worse than Mrs Thathcer had to face… IMHO

    Will the British People accept Austerity is the big question

    And if they do not, what will happen ??

  404. 404
    Satnav says:


    Is that a place name or a description of Britain?

  405. 405
    MI5 says:

    That is the right question Historian

    “We ain’t seen nothing yet” (financially) as they say…

  406. 406
    Anonymous says:

    I’ve seen Saving Private Ryan….or was it Shaving Ryan’s Privates. I had been drinking.

  407. 407
    English Nat says:

    Not on my map either !!

  408. 408
    Who the hell is Bradley Steiner? says:

    AK47s all round! Mine’s a double nandrolone

  409. 409
    Augeas says:

    Fucking right he’s confused. Thinks stealing and running a surveillance society are civilised traits.

  410. 410
    Thomas Rossetti says:

    I’m all for sending them to jail and making them do hard labour, I just think this joke went too far.

    In terms of Waffen SS’ comment that it is

    “…wrong wrong wrong to even contemplate making a slightly risque joke in New Labour’s Britain”

    there is a big difference between this and a “slightly risque joke”. There has to be *some* level of taste about these things.

    Surely even the rudest poster on Guido’s site would agree that it was unacceptable to criticise David Cameron right after his recent family tragedy (hence the general abhorrence felt about McBride and Draper’s smear campaign). Now, of course, we can all say what a slimy character the Tory leader is but, at the time, common decency should prevail (and I’m happy to report that it did).

  411. 411
    1381 says:

    Get real here.
    The poor and middle class will face austerity.
    Cameron’s mates and the bankers will rule OK.
    Cameron says he is heir to Blair.
    You saw Blair and you are going to see Cameron.
    He owes his leadership to the media.
    Who owns and controls the media?
    Work it out.
    If you are in the bottom 70-80% you are going to continue on your way to controlled serfdom.

  412. 412
    Sarah says:

    You missed a Minister of prisons.
    Suggest the Terminator.

  413. 413
    Realist says:

    He has to be careful.
    He is as guilty as sin himself. Greedy sod.

  414. 414
    Anonymous says:

    But you are not as posh as we are.

  415. 415
    Anonymous says:

    Didn’t work for Iraq did it ?

  416. 416
    Ratsniffer says:

    One thing is certain: anyone who has to try to part the feckless underclass from their benefits will face a tough task.

    The lawless, idle scummies on estates near me take it as their god given right to breed at will, sit around all day drinking and smoking dope, and all the while holding their hands out for the state to sponsor their idleness. They are not working class – they don’t work nor do they want to.

    How do you persuade people who have been poorly educated under labour, have no qualifications, can barely articulate a sentence, to go out and get a job? That’s if they are employable int he first place. They simply aren’t interested and whoever takes away their fag and dope money will face riots.

    NuLabour knows this, which is why it created a benefits dependant underclass. Just one aspect of the Blair/Broon scorched-earth policy….to make life as hard as possible for any government which follows them.

  417. 417
    Mr Christopher says:

    Perhaps there will be so few MPs left that Brown will be declared President for Life.

  418. 418
    albacore says:

    Your solutions are pie in the sky, which has to be where you built the castle you’re living in if you believe that the Lib/Lab/Con brethren and all the associated offal will implement them this side of Armageddon.
    Love your comrade’s choice of name in Post 338. Says it all.
    Did I mention the Unmentionable Party’s manifesto? Thought I did rather than just saying vote for you know who.
    Oo-er! You reckon I have a clandestine record? The REAL Brown shirty goons are coming for me?
    Where did you glean that info – from one of those hundreds of MoD laptops and flash disks that go walkabout every year?
    As for that old canard about our having always been a nation of immigrants, were it substantively true the currently unprecedented swamping would not be THE number one political hot potato.

  419. 419
    nell says:

    Slightly off topic. Sorry – although I shall put up one of Guido’s posters on the lamp post outside my house for Gordon.

    I am disgusted at Gordon for not including the Queen in the British delegation for the D-Day commemoration next week.

    No.10 were asked by France to name the British delegation party.

    They decided to omit the Queen and put forward Gordon as the head of the country in the hope that he will get some much needed reflected glory from Obama who is also attending. Had the Queen been there he would have had to take a back seat. Is there no limit to this malodorous man’s ego??

    As a descendant of a father, uncles and an aunt who were involved in D-Day – I can say unequivocably that they served their Soveriegn not these grey corrupt ‘men’ of government.

    And I want our soveriegn to represent them and their bravery and we, their descendants, at this Commemoration. Gordon the Coward, is not worthy to be their/our representative at this important event.

    I hope that any veterans attending the D-Day event will snub Gordon for the absolute ‘trail of slug’s slime’ that he is.

    Another political disaster Gordon!!!!!!!!! You truly are a waste of space.

  420. 420
    Tangled web master says:

    I don’t understand this shredder business. Blair may claim to have inadvertently shredded his own copies but the Fees office can’t reasonably claim that they selectively destroyed the prime minister’s claims for each and every year.

    When were every other MP’s expenses put on an electronic database? I presume by 2004/5 at least or they wouldn’t have been available on a CD – it is inconceivable that such a poorly staffed office retrospectively scanned in years worth of Tesco receipts, mileage claims, mortgage documents, pergola invoices etc for the sheer hell of it. If everything was going on an electronic database from 2004, it is not credible that the Blair data didn’t get scanned in at the time.

    The other alternative is that they outsourced the scanning more recently to a company connected with the dubious character who sold the data to the Telegraph. However much the general public may feel he has done us a service, that would then beg the question of whether he is retaining any data and therefore what pressure could be applied to the subjects of it. Michael Martin – unlamented and odious trougher though he is- may have had a point about seeking a police investigation into the leak.

  421. 421
    T. Dan Smith says:

    So, what’s wrong with that?

  422. 422
    Half Pig Half Poodle says:

    Couldn’t resist signing although it could cost me. Who cares; I’ve spunked you plebs for a fortune. I’m minted. SQUEEEAL !!!!

  423. 423
    Tattooed_Arry says:

    If the Mets are anything like the Police around here who are cutting “frontline” officers in response to Labour cuts, the head of the Met doesn’t have the man-power to do the job.
    Actually, I’ve just thought about this, how many working-hours would it take to investigate, process and lock-up/bail the number of MPs suspected of wrong doing. I honestly believe that the Mets really don’t have the numbers required to do the job.

  424. 424
    Tattooed_Arry says:

    Defenestration as in “Hannibal” would make marvelous TV.

  425. 425
    Tattooed_Arry says:

    The French have never forgiven us for ruining what was for them a very profitable collaboration.
    See “Marianne in Chains” for the real story of the wartime Franco/German economic partnership – I shall say this only once – the French Resistance did not exist.

  426. 426
    Outbreak says:

    Couldn’t we just kettle ‘em all on Gruinard for a few weeks?

  427. 427
    Famous Scottish Humourist says:

    Perhaps it’s what passes for satire in that part of the world?

  428. 428
    Tunk says:

    Bill Cash should be made into a jam sandwich

  429. 429
    dirtyden says:

    I nearly Laughed My Hairy Arse Off. That plastic coated metal chord you use to hang net curtains would be quite good too. They’d bounce a bit: a sort of bungy lynch. Sorted.

    And here’s just one more reason all the pisshole troughers should be strung-up:

  430. 430
    John P says:

    The ony time I ever broke a toilet seat was when I shagged someone on it.

    Er, too much information. I’ll get my coat.

  431. 431

    For once hanging is too good for them better they are publicly disgraced which of course will happen if the ones who have announced retirement but are clinging on to office until the next General Election. Everywhere they go constituents will throw the expenses topic back in their faces. In any event severance payment should be contra’d against any expenses or taxes outstanding and only when the have full clearance from HMRC ‘consideration’ given to making any payment aftere all expenses have been proven to have been incurred in accordance with the HMRC pamphlet on the subject.

    The cost of any such investigation should also be paid for by the MP concerned.

    #C4DC is the Channel four news Twitter hashtag they are inviting questions for David Cameron tomorrow Sunday

  432. 432
    Anthony Steen says:

    Is it ‘cos my house is big?

  433. 433
    Nacht Und Nebel says:

    The one that tickles me is ‘Oradour Sur Glane’ presvered as a monument to the bestiality of the SS, but after the war, trials for the perpetrators were quietly dropped when it was found that a large number of the particular SS division consisted of ‘French Nationals’

  434. 434
    Harri says:

    What about trees ! its the fucking countryside .

  435. 435
    screw me, badly, cheaply says:

    You don’t like politicians much do you Mr Fawkes?

  436. 436
    Anonymous says:

    Tony Blair a Catholic? Do me a favour.

    He converts and first thing he does is start telling the church to be more modern.

    misses the point about catholacism.

  437. 437
    Anonymous says:

    Thomas sounds like one of them mp blokes.

  438. 438
    Adds Up says:

    From the Wikipedia entry for Burntisland:


    In the summer months the annual fair comes to town.

    There is a leisure centre called The Beacon. Facilities include a 25m swimming pool with a wave machine and flumes.

    There is also the Burntisland & District Pipe band. They have achieved well in the 2007 Competition Season, and the drummers of the band have achieved the status of British Drumming Champions 2007, European Drumming Champions 2007 and the Drummers Champions of Drummers 2007.

    Er, that’s it!

  439. 439
    Anonymous says:

    dont worry. they get much better treatment than normal people.

  440. 440
    NewGirl says:

    some one beat you to it round here Guido. All our lamp posts have signs saying “Dogs, do not foul”.

  441. 441
    credo says:

    Gordon Brown must be thought of as something of a cult round our way, as I’ve seen several Vote Labour stickers around in peoples windows.

    Must be the type of sticker you have to lick.

  442. 442
    A NON says:

    Mark Spelman, is standing as a Conservative MEP for the West Midlands, the husband of Caroline Spelman, put my nanny/secretary on expenses MP.

  443. 443
    Red Alert says:

    Lick the window and apply the sticker you mean?

  444. 444
    Abbadabbadoo says:

    Prescott doing his bit to save the Pringles & Vienetta industries

    Can’t we weigh him in public each week just for the fun of it

  445. 445
    Stronghold Barricades says:

    Why am I thinking Pot, Kettle, black?

  446. 446
    haribo says:

    it’s a sort of essex girl joke/ labour voter kinda thing, ie how many labour voters does it take to change a lightbulb?

    five……one to hold the threaded light bulb, four to rotate the table.

    actually, include all labour politicians in that. it’s a graphic illustration of how we’ve been governed for the last twelve years.

  447. 447
    Anonymous says:

    He’s thought of as something of a cult round our way.

  448. 448
    Madbadger says:

    Nah, they’ve cleaned that up. How about Tain ranges or Larkhill.

  449. 449
    Anonymous says:

    If he floats its because he weighs the same as a duck !

  450. 450
    Anonymous says:

    hello sailor !

  451. 451
    Anonymous says:

    Well said, read Bad faith by Carmen Callil

  452. 452
    nell says:

    Yes what you say about the French in WW2 is true. My father used to say ‘never go into a battle with the French supporting you’ And but for Britain – 1939 to 1943, France would have been lost long before the Americans piled in at the end to tip the scales.

    But in fairness I have to say that ordinary Frenchmen were not ineffectual in the face of conflict. The Battle of Verdun 1916 stands as one of the grimmest and bravest battles ever fought – and it was fought valiantly by French ‘other ranks,’ although their Generals (especially Petain) were incompetent and uncaring of their troops. Petain repeated his incompetence in WW2. He was, self serving, spineless and politically immoral, much like Brown and Sarkozy are now.

    All the more reason why the Queen, who is Head of our Armed Forces and for whom they fight, and not the tainted, discredited, Brown, should represent us at the D-Day Commemoration.

  453. 453
    Anonymous says:

    One of these areas is about to have a bye election due to Martin stepping Down. Glasgow Springburn will be interesting. I predict a swing to the nats and another “safe seat” lost by Browns Labour party.

  454. 454
    Anonymous says:

    There are lots of tunnels beneath Downing street Brown could survive for years down there. Flame throwers may be required , as used by the Yanks on those pacific islands.

  455. 455
    Ratsniffer says:

    Nell…..good post…. Broon and his marxist cronies know no shame. To them it is a point of honour that they have excluded HMQ. To them it is a point of honour that they have never had to fight in any wars to defend their country. They hate this country, and are trying to change it to match their own student communist society political view of what it should be like. They have almost succeded, but at long last, the people are catching on and these buffoons will pay at the ballot box.

  456. 456
    Labour pollster says:

    Will I put you down as a No then ?

  457. 457
    Anonymous says:

    The Sun are still sitting on the fence.

  458. 458
    caesars wife says:

    it must be one of those places with no TV radio or telephone and a monthly ship delivery postal system .

    just laughing at expense gate apparently gordon has given Hoon a clean bill of health , no whiff in hoons wallet ??? They must be telling him any old rubbish now . Ok gordon we want you to annouce that a corrillian class starship has arrived near henly and one mr darth Vader wishes to purchase most of the guilts with co invester one jabba the hut , direct payment with dilithium crystals .

  459. 459
    Anonymous says:

    Its that silly karate chop hand movement he has recently developed as part of his speaking perfomances. I think its supposed to be a sign showing decisiveness and clarity which in Browns case is simply a big fat lie.

  460. 460
    Augeas says:

    I’d like to think so, but I fear not.

  461. 461
    Executioner's Song says:

    Oh very well then, if you really must. But only if the whole thing is televised as a warning to future power-hungry vultures and made into a series of info-mation films suitable for school distribution.

  462. 462
    Beaver hunter says:

    He’s something of a cu*t around ours!

  463. 463
    Anonymous says:

    Love it all!

  464. 464
    Anonymous says:

    Forget liz-shes the BIGGEST trougher of all!!

  465. 465
    Anonymous says:

    use the flames if you must-from a distance of 6 feet!

  466. 466
    Anonymous says:

    Sec of state for quislings-Rt Hon Ming the meaningless!

  467. 467
    thick as thieves says:

    fuck off albacore you fucking retard.

  468. 468
    Bath plugs for the many, not the few says:

    Jacqui Smith could be forced to sit in a bath with no plug watching unmentionable porn movies, under constant surveillance by CCTV.

  469. 469
    nell says:

    Iain Martin of the DT is asking today -“Are we absolutely certain Gordon is still alive?” We can hope not.

    He wants to know if anyone has seen him in the last week. Not likely, he’s comfortably esconced in his deep dark bunker away from the howling mob.

    Although I hear he has had printed millions of leaflets – one of which will be delivered to each of our doors in a day or two telling us what an admirable leader he will make next time around. Cost of design, printing and delivery courtesy of the long sufering taxpayer.

    Personally, I thought Alan Johnson had already taken over, in all but name, and was forging a pact with the LibDems proposing that Vince Cable would be the next Chancellor and Nick Clegg the next Leader of the House.

    Dream On.

  470. 470
    NewGirl says:

    Nell are you sure the leaflets funded by us? Not Labour Party? Cuz if they are….!

  471. 471
    nell says:

    Not a chance. The Blairs, Mandelson, Balls and Cooper beat her hands down!!

  472. 472
    freddie flintoff says:

    they are all hoons fucking shoot em all china style then fucking cut the fuckers up and shit on em

  473. 473
    Anonymous says:

    Way to do it Guido! One post a day is the way forward.

  474. 474
    Tattooed_Arry says:

    The woman whose husband you stole doesn’t love you Esther.

  475. 475
    Tattooed_Arry says:

    Is that “Things can only get better” clip up on utube?
    The sight of Prescott and co.. strutting their stuff is priceless.
    Almost as good as Kinnock falling in the sea and then blaming his missus.

  476. 476
    HTML Hunter says:

    You mean this Steven Hughes? Looks like somebody didn’t follow instructions to shred, er wipe the site, and left a couple of pages on the web server.

  477. 477
    nell says:

    No NewGirl not sure – though I suspect Labour Party wouldn’t have funded it because it’s said they are just about bankrupt and struggling to raise any new funds from donors – why would they throw money , which is in short supply, at promoting Gordon when they know he’s already a lost cause? But if you could lose the costs in 10 Downing St admin ..????

    I’m going to do a FOI request on Monday to find out – just hope I don’t get one of these leaflets in my door.

  478. 478
    NewGirl says:

    completely agree. he’s a prat. the fact he took communion before being received into the Church shows the disdain with which he holds its central tenets, let alone his voting record on abortion, amongst other things.

  479. 479
    jgm2 says:

    It may have escaped your attention but we are in the grip of chaos and corruption. The politicisation of the Speaker, Seargent at Arms, Solicitor General, police and every other aspect of our society with Labour party placemen and ideological imbeciles has reduced us to the point where we are printing 50bn quid a pop in made-up money.

    We are truly on the edge. We can only hope that elections do actually go ahead as planned before next June so we can begin to undo the idiocy and sheer malevolent evil that has characterised this Labour government.

    We need somebody making the ‘tough decisions’ today instead of political grandstanding by economic imbeciles about raising income tax to 50% for the rich which will raise practically fuck-all in the broad scheme of things.

    Believe me, if raising income tax to 50% on the rich (that’s my missus you’re robbing there by the way) would do the job then I’d be all for it. But we all know it’s pure show-boating to keep the kind of self-harming fuckwits who vote for the likes of Prescott and Martin on-side.

    Suuuuure, the economy is fucked, sure we (labour) fucked it but lets just stick it to the rich for old times sake eh?

    And that’s it? That’s your strategy for turning around a 200bn quid annual deficit? Stick the rich for a couple of billion?

    Bring in the army. Let them organise an election toot sweet since this fucking clown sems determined to destroy the economy and blame the guy who has to pick up the pieces.

  480. 480
    Labour Tribal Area Returning Officer says:

    I can assure you that Labour will retain the seat.

  481. 481
    Grytpype-thynne says:

    This is not (yet) Iraq

  482. 482
    NewGirl says:

    ooh, I think I can answer that one!

  483. 483
    Ratsniffer says:

    Nick Clegg will lose what little crediblity he has if he teams up with this bunch of labour shysters and crooks. The public will never forgive him for allowing Zanulabour drones to cling to any kind of power, just to satisfy his vanity and thirst for office.

  484. 484
    NewGirl says:

    But the blog would be so much quicker to read then….. :-)

  485. 485
    lolol says: has a new poll out,oops.

  486. 486
    Turd Place says:

    in a Westminster poll

  487. 487
    jgm2 says:

    Political Betting reporting ICM poll….

    CON 40(+1) LAB 22(-5) LD 25 (+5)

    Labour THIRD

    Let it be true. Let it be true. Let it be true.

  488. 488
    eeyup says:

    Conservativehome have it to.

  489. 489
    NewGirl says:

    Its hilarious. Never thought it would come to this. But he’s definitely going to hold out, because with polls like that he’ll think it can’t get worse, and most of the electorate are idiots with short memories, so it may improve. He’d never dare going to the country at the mo..

  490. 490
    jgm2 says:

    Come on Toynbee. Jump ship. Embrace the LibDems.

  491. 491
    nell says:

    The loss of a child is a monumentally sad event . Something that leaves a scar on our souls. The Brown’s very sensibly never talked about their loss of Jennifer in any depth.

    Until now.

    Today Gordon talks about his sorrow. Not about Sarah’s ( the mother’s ) loss and sorrow. But his.

    Why has he chosen to do that? for the first time ever, today, just when he knows he is most in need of public support. It sure didn’t make me feel any better about him .

    My sympathy is for Sarah , for Jennifer who was lost, and for Sarah’s boys.

    But for Gordon who was today trying to use his baby daughter as a political pawn????????????????????

  492. 492
    jgm2 says:

    Oh, and why have they got Labour in second place reading left to right? Surely they should now be in third.

    It should read

    CON 40(+1) LD 25 (+5) LAB 22(-5)

    Keeping Labour in second place when you list them even though they are actually in third only serves to perpetuate the myth that Labour have some right to be in the top two.

    When, of course, in a universe with even a thimble-full of natural justice they would be reduced to the political equivilent of the geological record. Extinct. Look how extinct this bunch of political dinosaurs are. No brain cavity see? Unable to think beyond the top inch of their spinal column. Able to breath but not to think. Fucking great amoeba really. No wonder they died out.

  493. 493
    Neil says:

    We need to really stop these criminal government types. Revolution can come at any time. We should help it along.

  494. 494
    jgm2 says:

    Keeping his powder dry?

    Lest we forget this is the man who assured us he would never use his family to further his political career. And then the very next day had his missus introduce him to the Labour conference.

    The man is a bigger liar than Blair. And that is no complement.

  495. 495
    NewGirl says:

    Its uncanny how people read my mind on this blog…

  496. 496
    NewGirl says:

    I dunno SB but MB is bound to come on and say you just being racist….!!

  497. 497
    barefootcontessa says:

    yes, I know what you mean, but in this case the description legal and illegal was pertinent because it was the only way that was left to try to stop blair going to war v Iraq. It didn’t succeed of course, but then, nothing would have stopped him, not even the United Nations. I hope he will get his come uppance one day.

  498. 498
    dirtyden says:

    LABOUR TRAILING LIBDEMS says latest poll.

    Woahahahahahahahah. Oh dear. Poor :D :D :D :D :D gord…woahahahahahah….
    Stop it, stop it, it hurts…

  499. 499
    Stronghold Barricades says:

    very reassuring

  500. 500
    NewGirl says:

    That’s utter bollox, she’s not a trougher, she lives personally very frugally and works harder than is believable for a woman of her age.

  501. 501
    Never waste a crisis says:

    Militwat for the NoTW.

  502. 502
    Technomist says:

    Why does everyone have it in so much for the LibDems?

  503. 503
    Technomist says:

    It started in America

  504. 504
    Ratsniffer says:

    Total and utter humiliation for snotgobbler’s band of useless, third-rate trough-snafflers. May they be consigned to the political dustbin for generations.

  505. 505
  506. 506
    barefootcontessa says:

    Ah, but he did it because it was right.

  507. 507
    nell says:

    The DT is saying tonight that the Tory Grandees are attacking Cameron for saying he’s re-opening the debate on the Lisbon Treaty and will hold a Referendum if he wins the next election. Yes please. That’s what I want.

    The Tory Grandees like Gordon just don’t know when they’re finished.

    Keep on doing what you’re doing Dave ( and William) – because you’re doing just fine.

  508. 508
    Technomist says:

    I have never before heard totoal strangers discussing politics in the check-out queues at Sainsbury’s like I did this morning. There is a very ‘interesting’ mood about.

  509. 509
    nell says:

    I heard he wanted to go the UN. Guess he thought he could make even more money there.

    I just don’t understand why ANYONE would want millipede.

  510. 510
    Lord of the Mance says:

    Is the Dark Prince of Mince going to regret bringing Oleg Deripaska negative publicity.

  511. 511
    barefootcontessa says:

    tony blair is a 100 per cent FAKE, and isn’t he earning nicely?

  512. 512
    nell says:

    Polly Twaddle- Do we want her?

  513. 513
    NewGirl says:

    ‘Cause they’re a bunch of Europhile idiots with some truly ridiculous leftie policies that people don’t realise or scrutinise, as they aren’t considered a real prospect for the leadership. Because they aren’t regarded as real contenders, its too easy to discount them all together or treat them as an over indulgent parent might treat a wayward toddler…

  514. 514
    Jackanory Tory says:

    Tory Grandees = Old Duffers

    you have had your time lads, now go and fuck off and make a mess of running your golf club

  515. 515
    NewGirl says:

    Thinking it more of a shame there were enough idiots taken in by Blair to vote Labour in in the first place….

  516. 516
    Heads on poles says:

    Mandelson’s leadership campaign to start in 10..9..8……….

  517. 517
    dirtyden says:

    It’s a naff made-up Guardian story, complete with ‘nazi’ smear, and it will just make Cameron look stronger. More super-bad Liebour news mismanagement.

    Dan Hannan pretty much annihilates it in about 300 words.

    All Cameron need say to the Grauniad is: more please!

  518. 518
    Heads on poles says:

    Because it is so easy :)

  519. 519
    Technomist says:

    What’s to like at the moment?

  520. 520
    Cassandra King says:

    A newlabour/libdem deal is on the cards now I think, the winner of the major share would get to lead this mongrel party and Brown is obviously hoping that the two parties get enough votes combined to outweigh the Tory vote.

    The libdems would sell their grannies to the gypsies for a sniff of executive power and McMental is so desperate to cling onto power he would share power with lucifer if he could.

    A vote for the libdems is surely a vote for McMental, every vote/non vote/rigged vote helps him cling onto some form of power, the Tories simply have to get more seats than the liblab axis combined, the way things are going its shaping upto a close run thing.

    Up and down the land there are people ready and waiting with fake fake ballot papers and officials just waiting for ‘no shows’ so their votes can be used last thing at night, all it takes to make a spoiled ballot is a small pencil mark over the paper and there will be a shed load of ‘spoiled ballots’ in every box that just happens to be from the same pencil.

    Stalin said: its not who votes that counts its who counts the votes!

  521. 521

    Speaking on behalf of myself the quango and the collective of Sordid Prostitutes everywhere, I’m ashamed that Gordon Brown and the Labour Party have brought us into disrepute A Welcome Demise
    But, watch out for the fightback and re-shuffle.

  522. 522
    barefootcontessa says:

    ….and take their d and a.

  523. 523
    NewGirl says:

    can we include faceless inane bureaucrats fed out of the public purse, and social workers?

  524. 524
  525. 525
    Twizzle says:

    Brown is Lucifer.

    In drag.

  526. 526
    NewGirl says:

    That too :-)

  527. 527
    barefootcontessa says:

    Nell, you are absolutely right, another newlabour cock-up!

  528. 528
    NewGirl says:

    Wow SS! We’re psychically linked in Blogsphere!!

  529. 529
    Stronghold Barricades says:

    The man is a bigger liar than Blair. And that is no complement.

    Bigger liar than Bliar!

    The Blairities might have you believe that Brown mislead Bliar

  530. 530
    Under a flowerpot at the bottom of the garden until the GE says:

    I do C++ and C#

  531. 531
    NewGirl says:

    Well naturally. Who else could possibly be responsible for Blears, Moran, Uddin and the rest?

  532. 532
    Technomist says:

    Good to see the Gurkhas there.

  533. 533
    Never waste a crisis says:

    Every little counts

  534. 534
    not mad says:

    Jeremy Hunt let his agent stay rent-free in his taxpayer-funded country home – while he lived in London.

    Margaret Chellingworth lived in the house for seven months after Mr Hunt became in an MP in 2005 and for a separate period of up to five months.
    Mr Hunt – who also has a home in west London and a part share in a palatial villa in Italy – claimed £37,699 of taxpayers’ cash in “second home” allowances for mortgage interest and bills on the property over the past three years.
    But under parliamentary rules, MPs are banned from allowing anyone close to them or their party benefiting from the use of taxpayer-funded housing expenses.
    Mr Hunt’s admission that he allowed his agent – who plays a key role in his success as an MP – live rent-free in a house partly paid for by taxpayers infuriated his constituents.
    In a stormy public meeting in Farnham on Friday night, he faced a two-hour grilling over his allowances.
    Mr Hunt was shouted down after he confessed he had “no idea” if he had broken the rules by letting his agent live in his second home free of charge for three nights a week.
    One angry voter yelled: “We don’t trust you. We don’t trust what you are saying and so far, you have given us no reason to trust you in future.”Mr Hunt says: “I had a long standing arrangement where I allowed my agent to stay free of charge at my home in Farnham. I was not aware and did not believe this is a breach of the rules but I have written to the commissioner for clarification and will repay any amount if he deems this necessary.”

  535. 535
    Technomist says:

    No, it started in America

  536. 536
    barefootcontessa says:

    Don’t be taken in. They are all as bad as each other, lib dems included. The French had a SERIOUS revolution, and everything settled down after the blood bath, and returned to nearly the way it was before iwith a different set of corrupt rulers.

  537. 537
    Anonymous Misogynist says:

    It might be me.

  538. 538
    NewGirl says:

    I was wondering when you’d pitch up TwaT. I nearly warned SS not to converse with me cuz I knew you’d pop up with some bile. You just can’t bear me talking to other men can you? Poor love.

  539. 539
    nell says:

    Well said NewGirl –

    Do we know yet how many servants Uddin has in her Bangladeshi Italian Marble Palace that she built at the same time as she launched her Uddin Trust with Moran,Galloway and Kitty Ussher.

    Purpose of trust?? – to help the poor of Bagladesh .

    Where is the Trust now? —–?????? Audited Accounts ?????????????

    People helped in Bangladesh by BaronnessU through her Uddin Fund –

    Well she will say she has provided employment, as servants ,for x numbers of people in her marble palace – won’t she!!!!!!!!! Oh amazingly!!!!! she was LABOUR

  540. 540
    Technomist says:

    His name also rhymes with ‘front’, ‘grunt’ ‘punt’ and ‘runt’ .

  541. 541
    thick as thieves says:

    peter mandelson has got more chance of being rimmed by brad pitt than of becoming the leader of the labour party.

  542. 542
    Anonymous says:

    502-youre SO niaive-youre new around here, arent you??

  543. 543
    albacore says:

    Shifted around again under Guido’s weird system, eh, Papasmurf @ 385.
    Yup, you got me bang to rights, I am an unreconstructed cotton-fabric-o-phobe.
    Next time they shear you, save a bit of that wool for me.
    When you get to graze next to G M in recognition of your outstanding services to the New World Order (PBUI) and the fine art of malapropism, I wouldn’t go telling him what your idea of haggis land is, though.

  544. 544
    Moley says:

    The pound’s rise against the dollar has been taken as a sign of the green shoots of recovery for the UK economy.

    If we believed that we would have to believe that the economic outlook is more favorable for us than it is for the USA.

    The pound is rising because it is being set up for a an almighty crash, (with huge profits for some), engineered by those who have an interest in its demise.

  545. 545
    moral compass says:

    he is a sociopath who will use any means necessary to advance his cause, even the exploitation of his ‘grief’. He is very dangerous. I would be very suprised if he didnt inflict further harm, than anybody currently imagines, on this countrys reputation before he is prised from office.

  546. 546
    albacore says:

    No, thank YOU for that gem of scintillating wit, thickastwoshortplanks @ 469.
    Let me guess – you studied under Oscar Wilde?
    Gordon needs you. He is pining.
    Heed the call.

  547. 547
    dirtyden says:

    Who believes the rumours of a Lib-Lab pact floating around the blogosphere today like a disowned fart?

    It would be the stitch-up of the century. And it would backfire spectacularly.

    Bring it on!

  548. 548
    NewGirl says:

    wondered where you’d been :-) and I was responsible for an appalling misspelling earlier and not a tweet from you…!

  549. 549
    Stronghold Barricades says:

    If he gets one does that mean he automatically qualifies for the second?

  550. 550
    moral compass says:

    yes but tallyrand had some style contessa!

  551. 551
    nell says:

    SERIOUS revolution – yes Barefoot Contessa – we need one of those!!!!!!!!!

  552. 552
    Engineer says:

    Does anyone seriously think the Lib Dems would want anything to do with Labour now?

  553. 553
    Engineer says:

    He could probably do the photocopying.

  554. 554
    Indigo says:

    The MPs browbeat the Information Commissioner, I see.

    And here, an attempt to claim £5 put in a church offertory plate, a pink lap top, a bath mat …

    I want all these vulgar people cleared out of Parliament.

  555. 555
    Anonymous says:

    youre first then.

  556. 556
    jgm2 says:

    You would hope that they could cast their mind back to the reneged PR referenda as recently as Labour’s 1997 manifesto. And if I remember rightly Brown tried to pull the same stunt of kidding on to the LibDem’s that he’d let them have a whiff of power when he ascended to the throne.

    Vince Cable told them to go fuck themselves after their 1997 performance.

    I don’t doubt Brown will try it but he needs a picture of Cameron, Clegg and Joanna Lumley and triumphant Gurkhas shoved under his nose to sober him up.

  557. 557
    Moley says:

    Gordon Brown apparently.

  558. 558
    Anonymous Misogynist says:

    Spelling is not my forte, but nice to see you are back on line.

  559. 559
    Anonymous says:

    Frank Cook MP tried to claim for a five pound donation he made during a Battle of Britain memorial service. The amount involved was only a fiver yet this revelation has sickened me more than anything I have heard so far. PS. the fees office refused his claim.

  560. 560
    Sir William Waad says:

    The Lib Dems have always been the true party of the Left in this country. They remain a party based on principles, whether you agree with them or not. The Labour Party has for most of its existence been a party of sectional interest, representing that part of the working class that was unionised, against everybody else. Nowadays it represents only its fellow-travellers on the great Bisto Express of public parasitism, the mad army of control freaks, windbags and apparatchiks who leech away our money and self-respect. It’s time the LibDems took their rightful place once more as the main liberal, progressive left-wing party in the UK.

    So, unless you want to be ruled by a cabal of effete, troughing toffs and City spivs, vote Lib Dem on June 4.

  561. 561
    nell says:

    Gordon thinks it might save his bacon. And Alan Johnson thinks it might win him the leadership.

    They are both more isolated from reality and more deluded than Kim Jong Il.

  562. 562
    dirtyden says:

    Yeah, just heard that one. Breathtaking. The big, CGT scams are hideous enough but some of these smaller ones are the worst of all.

    This one is just depraved.

  563. 563
    thick as thieves says:

    have you been on the acid again stronghold?

  564. 564
    jgm2 says:

    Where was their principled stand when there was a vote on a referendum for the Lisbon Constitution?

    Something they’d guaranteed (along with Labour and Tories) in their manifesto?

    Just asking.

  565. 565
    A Doctor writes says:

    That made me cry laughing, thank you.

  566. 566
    nell says:

    So let’s hope that today’s press that is suggesting LibDems might be considering a pact with Labour to make Vince Cable Chancellor and Nick Clegg Leader of the House is just so much Labour windbagging. LibDems will make it clear tomorrow , wont they??????? that they are not interested in this most recent Labour deal?????????

  567. 567
    moral compass says:

    This is very very very funny. Brown to make Blinky Ed chancellor because of his ‘superior communication skills, electioneering ability.’.. and the ‘respect he has in the City’

    I thought this was a spoof But no its in the TIMES TMRW.

  568. 568
    Anonymous says:

    Good question. I’m sure a reply will be forthcoming. They are more europhile than Labour.

  569. 569
    Engineer says:

    Sounds like desperate straw-grasping by whoever thinks they might be Labour leadership contender this week. (Why do they bother? Who would want to take over the controls of a plane that is quite obviously about to hit a large mountain?)

  570. 570
    English Liberation Front says:

    Her Majesty The Queen to you, you ill-mannered, disrespectful, bolshy guttersnipe.

    She is the Head of State with the greatest right to attend the D-Day memorial because she was serving then as she is serving now, with more sense of duty in one little finger than Brown and his vile criminal gang have together.

    Brown and the French dwarf show their true colours again. Scum.

  571. 571
    Housing Hubba Bubba says:

    Have we actually seen Kim in the same room as Alan or Gordon?

  572. 572
    NewGirl says:

    HA! You missed me!

  573. 573
    English Liberation Front says:

    I hope our military take their revenge on Brown. He deserves to be put up against a wall and shot for the vile, communist traitor that he is.

  574. 574
    Anonymous Misogynist says:

    Power corrupts, absolute power………………….

  575. 575
    Anonymous says:

    #1 right. Not funny and a step too far. If the law has been broken prosecution is enough.

  576. 576
    Housing Hubba Bubba says:

    ‘Lord Mandelson, the business secretary, has warned Brown of the potential dangers, but is ready to support the move as part of a final attempt to revive the governm ent’s fortunes.’

    This sums everthing up for me. It’s not about the reviving the government’s fortunes, it’s about reviving the UKs fortunes. Utterly insular troughing halfwits.

  577. 577
    NewGirl says:

    Why do you care what age he thinks I am you weirdo? Why do you care at all? Get in line behind my other obsessive stalkers you arsehole….

  578. 578
    Anonymous Misogynist says:


  579. 579
    NewGirl says:

    PS What IS your forte Anon Misog?!

  580. 580
    Funambulist says:

    No, not Kansas. Wrong state. Get a sense-of-Yuma!

  581. 581
    Madbadger says:

    The thieving Hoon ought to be thrown from the back of a Chinook.

  582. 582
    nell says:

    Last thought for the night – the Queen MUST represent our men and women who fought in WW2 at the D-Day Commemorations .

    Do any of us want Gordon to masquerade as our Head of State at such an event ????????

    Of course Gordon and Sarkozy are trying to grand-stand. I hope Obama realises that and refuses to be a part of it.

    I read somewhere tonight that the Amerians are trying to get the Queen included.

    Well Thanks Yanks – We appreciate that. Our own Government is trying to do just the opposite so that Gordon can take the limelight .

    I hope our Press, on the day, shows him up for the egomaniac that he is!!!!!!!

  583. 583
    Engineer says:

    I suppose the funniest part is that Blinky Ed might actually want the job. What could any Chancellor do in this situation other than institute massive public spending cuts or ring the IMF? Can’t see Blinky wanting to do either.

  584. 584
    jgm2 says:

    Same as Darling.

    Print more money and declare the recession will be over right after we lose power. So when they lose power and there is still a recession they can blame Cameron. Because if we’d been in power the recession would be over by now.

    As scheduled here in this completely manufactured book of shit I had made earlier.

  585. 585
    Engineer says:

    Vaguely recall some veterans performing an about-turn on Bliar for some reason I can’t recall. A massed about-turn on the beaches when McBroon hoves into view might be an appropriate gesture from veterans.

  586. 586
    Nausicaa says:

    Take heed.
    Trim the lamp; polish the lens;draw, one by one,rare coins to the light. Ringed by its own lustre, the masterful head emerges, kempt and jutting,out of England’s well. Far from his underkingdom of crinoid and crayfish, the rune-stones’s province, REX TOTIUS ANGLORUM PATRIAE,coiffured and ageless,portrays the self-possesion of his possession,cushioned on a legend.
    Geoffrey Hill

  587. 587
    Susie says:

    New Girl is certainly not naive, the Queen served in the ATS during the war and the Duke of Edinburgh in the Navy. Her Majesty the Queen has devoted her life to duty and service for this country, when given the choice I’m sure she would have preferred to be a minor royal living quietly in the country away from the public eye. Her uncle’s abdication precluded that.

    The pair of them along with the veterans are the ONLY people who have the right to attend this 65th ceremony, which for many of those taking part in D-Day will almost certainly be their last.

    Gordon Brown is little better than a traitor muscling in and gatecrashing a party he has no right to attend — he’s not the Head of State, he’s not elected PM and he’s not wanted there.

  588. 588
    Housing Hubba Bubba says:

    Sell more peerages. Perhaps even start selling seats in the commons as well. Wouldn’t surprise me.

  589. 589
    NewGirl says:

    Ha Ha was I getting above myself there for a second? Soz Misog, must not forget its you, after all….

  590. 590
    The laughing policeman says:

    you have no sense of humour, my friend.

  591. 591
    Concerned Bystander says:

    Been at the gin, old chap?

  592. 592
    NewGirl says:

    Was just about to say that myself.

  593. 593
    NewGirl says:

    Who the hell is Frank Cook?

  594. 594
    NewGirl says:

    JUst looked. Thank goodness. Labour. Where is bloody Master Baiter when I want to gloat?

  595. 595

    Nope – its a pathetic post.

  596. 596
    NewGirl says:

    See, I told you he was psycho… He just gets worse. Winding him up spins out the time between sleaze stories though

  597. 597
    NewGirl says:

    Oh set the WI on him too

  598. 598
    Engineer says:

    Hello NewGirl. Hope life’s a bit brighter for you than it was the other week.

  599. 599
    Anonymous Misogynist says:

    My forte is a secret.

  600. 600
    Susie says:

    They did this on Hirohito’s state visit about 12 years ago. The FEPOWs lined up on the Mall and turned their backs as Blair and Hirohito went past.

  601. 601
    NewGirl says:

    Watch this, for eg

    ooh lets make it a dating site too guido, why not have some fun whilst we here

    Off you go TwAT…

  602. 602
    NewGirl says:

    think thats the fascination…!

  603. 603
    Engineer says:

    Now that IS cruel.

  604. 604
    thick as thieves says:

    new girl and 56 year old father of two.
    very sleazy indeed.
    news of the world reporters will be contacting you in due course.

  605. 605
    NewGirl says:

    Hi Engineer, yes am all chipper again, thank you v much!

  606. 606
    NewGirl says:

    I don’t remember hearing about that.. Bugger, would have loved it though.

  607. 607
    thick as thieves says:

    acting like a slut twice on one thread?
    that’s double penetration, innit?

  608. 608
    NewGirl says:

    Ha ha you never disappoint do you Twat?

  609. 609
    Anonymous Misogynist says:

    Blush! You Win.

  610. 610
    NewGirl says:


  611. 611
    thick as thieves says:

    and don’t try to butter me up with compliments new girl.
    as you well know I say what I fucking like and if people don’t like it they can fuck off.

  612. 612
    NewGirl says:

    Its called friendly banter TAT. I realise its alien to you, but give it a try sometime. You never know, someone might call YOU a slut.

  613. 613
    thick as thieves says:

    I always win motherfucker.

  614. 614
    NewGirl says:

    :-) Anon Misog

  615. 615
    NewGirl says:

    Compliments? Where? Not a hope in hell for you TwAT. I may be a slut, but even a slut has standards…

  616. 616
    Engineer says:

    Glad to hear that. Sorry, but I’ll have to leave you to it – I need some kip!

  617. 617
    thick as thieves says:

    new girl,
    in case you hadn’t realised the general election campaign has begun, so you can stick your friendly banter up your arse.
    if you want to have a friendly chat with retards then fuck off to conservativfoam or do some sp@stic voluntary work.

  618. 618
    Anonymous Misogynist says:

    Hi TwAT, so you are into double penetration? Can’t blame you, but you are soooo sad.

  619. 619
    NewGirl says:

    Thtat’s ok. I’m so chipper I’m goading TwAT for kicks! Sleep well.

  620. 620
    Nausicaa says:

    Geoffrey Hill is our unannounced Laureate – all you fucking illiterates should do a bit of research. Read him for stringent analysis . Mercian Hymns.

  621. 621
    NewGirl says:

    Well go get busy then TwAT, as you clearly have VERY important work to do. Don’t waste any more time following me around the blog. I’d much rather you spent your time usefully doing…..well who the fuck knows what you do….just LEAVE ME ALONE

  622. 622
    NewGirl says:

    Anyway, I like the retards HERE. They’re a far better class of retard, I find.

  623. 623
    Anonymous Misogynist says:


  624. 624
    thick as thieves says:

    I will forward you an application form for the thick as thieves fan club.
    you have passed the first test – don’t take any shit.
    well done old man, there is hope for you yet.

    new girl, sluts need not apply.

  625. 625
    NewGirl says:

    Ha Ha ok, let me just finish Heat..

  626. 626
    NewGirl says:

    You are getting to be an old softie Anon Misog..

  627. 627
    thick as thieves says:

    if you cannot take the heat then fuck out of the kitchen love.
    oh, and take your tory troll boyfriend, AM with you.
    but stick a brew on before you leave eh? two sugars.
    well done.

  628. 628
    oldrightie says:

    I am one, I’m afraid but it comes with age and almost good living!

  629. 629
    NewGirl says:

    Wow I bet that’s a huge group. How many members? Leaving aside all the disappointed sluts who aren’t allowed in?

  630. 630
    NewGirl says:

    He’s no troll you plank. (and I’ve spat in your tea)

  631. 631
    Anonymous Misogynist says:

    Hey TwAT, don’t take sugar. You are a plonker personified. So you lose again.

  632. 632
    Anonymous Misogynist says:

    Yes, but less of the old.

  633. 633
    Mr Christopher says:

    How ridiculous that the very people who have conned and swindled us all for years should now hold themselves out as providing the solution to the problems that they have created.

    No future political party that does not guarantee in its manifesto to hold a very public war crimes trial of the New Labour conspirators will ever be wholly credible. Not only the Downing Street gang, but as at Nuremberg, New Labour’s facilitators in the world of media, finance and industry should all find themselves in the dock on capital charges.

    Failure to totally eliminate the New Labour parasite that has engorged itself for so long on the very substance of our national life will result in its quick regeneration in some new and still more morbid form.

    The more quickly New Labour and all its collaborators are taken into custody the better. Like all organizing criminals, they belong in prison.

  634. 634
    Thomas Rossetti says:

    Now that’s offensive. How dare you!?

  635. 635
    working class and proud says:

    the reason they dont say sorry to the taxpayer is they were all sponging doleites so as such have never paid any tax like most liebore core voters scum!

  636. 636
    working class and proud says:

    just spin to get the press to go easy on them

  637. 637
    UAF says:

    They killed Iraqis & Solidiers through their actions they all have blood on their hands for that indirectly or not they stil allowed it to happen so should hang like Saddam.

  638. 638
    Regent Exeter says:

    These men certainly need to have a strong light shone on them now; MEMBERS(spelt in reverse) might well rhyme with FREEMEN, but PARLIAMENT(spelt in reverse) rhymes with EXPLAIN RAT.

  639. 639
    The Bank of England says:

    Apparently a Labour MP has submitted receipts from a non existent firm – Now if that ain’t fraud I don’t what is as the rules “which must be followed” don’t allow for that

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Why We Must Remember the Holocaust | Hugo Rifkind
“Adjustments” Not Cuts | Gary Gibbon
The New Puritans | Alex Wickham
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New Tory, New Danger | Laura Perrins
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