May 29th, 2009

Rosie’s Sound-Proofed Bedroom on Expenses

Today Guido learnt that the Minister for Work and Pensions, Rosie Winterton, claimed close to the maximum allowance for second homes – including soundproofing her bedroom. The MP, John Prescott’s former mistress, claimed for the work in February 2007, before the fees office reduced the payment to £3,800 after refusing to pay for the use of acoustic felt and wool slabs.

The full claim was for ‘soundproofing of bedroom wall and redecoration to bedroom, bathroom, living room, kitchen, staircase’.  What is she was so keen on us not hearing about?


266 Comments

  1. 1
    Dick the Prick says:

    The screams, the screams. It was the strap-on that was too big. Ah fuck, that’s Friday knackered.

  2. 2

    Pity that her mouth wasn’t sound proofed.

  3. 3
    Tricky Dicky says:

    To hide the screams of laughter about Prescott’s chipolata?

    But Guido, I am sick of having Missy Piggy Jackboots as our Home Secretary – when on earth is the media going to turn its fire back on her – she is every bit as bad as Julie Kirkbride and a lot worse than some of the MPs who have announced they are stepping down!

  4. 4
    Zeno says:

    What a terrible image formed in my mind as I read this.

    I shall have to seek solace of Dr. Draper (PhD failed).

  5. 5
    Koba says:

    I didn’t know he had another mistress. How many has he bored through since becoming an MP?

  6. 6
    Bob A Job says:

    It’s too early for this….

  7. 7
    Auto Asphyxia says:

    Has anyone resigned this morning?

  8. 8

    The sounds of enforced retching from Little Master Bulimia.

  9. 9
    Greychatter says:

    Expenses and SEX on the Taxpayer!!

  10. 10
    Trough Mixture says:

    It’s t’inalienable right of every proud Yorkshireman to bellow ‘On Ilkley Moor B’aht ‘At’ on t’ vinegar stroke sithee. Bugger t’ neighbours.

  11. 11
    Two Shits Prescott says:

    UURRGGHHHHHHHHHHH Tommy the turtle just won’t come out

  12. 12

    have to be careful of the official Secrets Act

  13. 13
    Independent Comment says:

    “I fear that the longer-term consequence of this saga will be rotting schools, useless hospitals and squalid trains, which is one reason why constitutional reform becomes more important.”

    http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/steve-richards/steve-richards-we-may-all-be-victims-of-this-debacle-1692511.html

    I suspect the longer-term consequence of this saga will be more taxpayers money going to schools, hospitals, and transport and less to MP’s and civil servants back pockets.

    As usual, the Indy is talking from it’s arse.

  14. 14
    johnny come lately says:

    NO. Smith is far worse than Kirkbride. SHE is holding one of the Great Offices of State.

    Now, just think about this. The Prime Minister, Chancellor of the Exchequer,
    Foreign Secretary, Justice Secretary, Home Secretary, Secretary of State for communities and local government, and others have all raided the public purse.

    ALL, if there was any honour in public life, would have resigned. That they have not. That they have just carried on regardless shows a complete disregard to the people. Not only have they fleeced us, not only have they ignored their socialist ‘beliefs’ (if they had any) They have and are holding up two fingers, indeed the two finger salute on one hand and the one finger salute with the other!

    We have got to rid ourselves of all these politicians and the rest of the moneygrabbing crooks.

    We must also demand that the new government orders SEQUESTRATION of all property (building, furniture etc.) purchased with public money OR an invoice sent to each individual for the total amount to be paid back. We have got to ensure that not one of these crooks walks away with a smile on their faces!

  15. 15
    Two Craps says:

    Give her a break guido. Would you want to be able hear two shits taking a dump from your kitchen?

    Of all the trivial espenses revealed so far this seems to be the least trivial. Farting prescotts should be seen, not heard.

    Mistress you say? well I never.

  16. 16
    Stronghold Barricades says:

    We just need the time to build the scaffold

  17. 17
    Half the Story Told says:

    Amazing the press does not run more stories about Prescott shagging her for years.

  18. 18
    Tricky Dicky says:

    Dead right! So why is the media giving our porcine, money grabbing, hypocritical, disgusting, not fit for purpose, Cabinet Ministers a break?????

  19. 19
    Sir Robin Knest-Magpie says:

    Absolutely spot on. They should have only claimed what they needed to – to get by and job done. But no. They have to claim the maximum don’t they.

  20. 20

    Anything that makes me think of John Prescott’s bottom cheeks is a bad thing. And yet they have been in the news so much recently; first the broken toilet seats, now this. I reckon that Gordon Brown finds the courage to keep going because he has seen John Prescott in the nude, and after that there is nothing in politics that can shock him any more. Perhaps it’s a New Labour initiation rite. All prospective front benchers are forced to look at John Prescott in the nude. Those that that turn away are rejected. The few that can stomach or indeed embrace the horror are picked, because only they have the courage to make tough decisions.

  21. 21

    Check out what someone has done to her Wikipedia page: http://tinyurl.com/kuxhpo

  22. 22
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Has anyone else on this blog seen the safety elf’s requirement for the soundproofing of flats in building regs? I’m afraid Prescott’s bit of fluff has got a good excuse on this one, which the Red Star Chamber of none of the talents could well wave through. Unless, of course, she’s on the bunker’s list.

  23. 23
    anonymouse in the Treasury skirting boards says:

    I hear Dolly has found God.

    Poor God.

  24. 24
    Independent Comment says:

    By popular demand, here’s a list of those already on their way, and how much it will cost us just to get rid of them (courtesy of the Independent):

    Andrew MacKay (C, Bracknell) £105,565 (£64,766* + £40,799*)

    Julie Kirkbride (C, Bromsgrove) £73,182 (£32,383 + £40,799)

    Margaret Moran (Lab, Luton S) £95,202 (£54,403 + £40,799)

    Michael Martin (Lab, Glasgow N-East) £40,799 (winding up costs only)

    Sir Peter Viggers (C, Gosport) £105,565 (£64,766 + £40,799)

    Douglas Hogg (C, S’ford and N Hykeham)£105,565 (£64,766 + £40,799)

    Anthony Steen (C, Totnes) £105,565(£64,766 + £40,799)

    Ben Chapman (Lab, Wirral S) £77,068 (£36,269 + £40,799)

    Ian McCartney (Lab, Makerfield) £105,565(£64,766 + £40,799)

    Sir Nicholas Winterton (C, Macclesfield) £105,565(£64,766 + £40,799)

    Ann Winterton (C, Congleton)£105,565(£64,766 + £40,799)

    Christopher Fraser (C, S-West Norfolk) £73,182 (£32,383 + £40,799)

    There is no mention in these figures of MP’s gold plated pensions or further likely troughing costs (expenses claims prior to standing down at the next election or elevation to the Lords for example).

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/mps-1631m-payoff-and-another-163125m-for-pensions-1692548.html

  25. 25
    Bob says:

    o/t but Gordon’s very quiet these days

  26. 26
    Tricky Dicky says:

    Yes, the Indie doesn’t get it does it? The problems we have in this country at the moment are in large problem caused by the troughing of our MPs. Let me explain. It isn’t the taxpayers dosh they have scammed – in terms of total public expenditure, it is peanuts. It is because of two reasons – one is that the Executive has bought off the MPs with a goody bag of expenses and allowances, so they do not properly hold the Executive to account (as has been amply seen these last 12 years, where Parliament has been a virtual irrelevance) and another is that it has encouraged the piggy ways of everyone in Government – a few billion here a few billion there – “investment” Brown calls it, when much of it is simply “squandering” on consultants, failed IT systems and petty bureaucrats who don’t add a knats arse to the quality of life in this country (Diversity Councillor anyone?).

    That is the simple truth of it. We need a Parliament which is responsive to what the people demand – value for money, good frontline services and zero net immigration!

  27. 27
    Auto Asphyxia says:

    “She of course is not married. She tried claim more than £800 in expenses from parliament (taxpayers money) to “soundproof” the bedroom of her south London home, as she tends to scream a bit when bull dikes come round to give her a good fisting.”

    It’s on Wikipedia so it must be true?

  28. 28
    Tony Blair says:

    It would seem obvious to have soundproofing.
    After all the couple were rehearsing their act for the X rated version of “Britain’s Got Talent”
    ……and John and Rosie were the nations favourites to win the event.

    We can only imagine what could have been

  29. 29
    McBride (oh yes) says:

    I am in hiding, but as you can see, I have access to my poison pals in the press!

    Who is going to stop my plans once and for all? Come on then, Im ready for you!

  30. 30
    Anonymous says:

    Check out Martin Kettle’s Guardian article today re. 52 Labour MPs angling for a seat in the Lords when they are thrown out.

  31. 31
    Anonymous says:

    Must say am thoroughly bored of this serialised scandal. I can hardly be fucked to buy a paper. The budget and the economy has been trashed by a bunch of smug evil shits. I give far less of a fuck about their dodgy expenses.

    If the next PM sorts out the economy and reduces taxes he can have 3 moats on the sly for all I give a fuck.

  32. 32
    Ian E says:

    Don’t worry – he was just meeting up with Tony Blair. They make a perfect couple, each as pure and honest as the other.

  33. 33
    aiden o'fovit says:

    This will all go away,the spectre of a tory govt hell-bent on revenge will not. Where will all the Poly-educated exMPs with no experience in the real world go then? The media,PR, or into blogland,no doubt. Still,as long as the poor dears don’t have to lay bare their finances in order to claim £62pw-AND THEY WOULD BE ENTITLED TO THAT! Ironic,huh?

  34. 34
    Sir Dando Tweakshafte says:

    Oh dear.

    This whole sorry saga puts me in mind of the administration of the great Sir Robert Walpole (who would sell anything to anyone, and probably would have considered a ten-year deal to rename the state “Everest Double Glazing Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland” if he’d been offered a deal).

    But at least the Georgian politicos looting the national cashbox managed some nice architecture, and had floosies who looked like Kiera Knightley.

  35. 35
    Derek Draper says:

    I’ve found God you know, trouble is he looked me up and down and then bellowed, in his infinate mercy..

    “Fuck off Draper you qualifications cheat and all round cock trumpet”.

    Rather put a dampner on the day it did.

  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    Here we go again.

    Bill Cash rents a property from his daughter further away from Westminster than his flat – cue scandal, headlines on the news etc.

    Gordon Brown had a free flat in 10 Downing Street but chose to charge the taxpayer thousands of pounds for another London property before charging us for a new kitchen then transferring the property into his wife’s name to avoid future CGT – not even mentioned on the news.

  37. 37
    plantman says:

    Didn’t know God was lost

  38. 38
    going down the pan says:

    whith that great fat fucking hog grunting away on top of you no wonder she had it soundproofed!

  39. 39
    sick of the greed says:

    Where is Charles E Labour Troll now??? So much for greedy Tories….

  40. 40
    going down the pan says:

    she really was comitting an act of gross indecency yuck!

  41. 41
    God says:

    Indeed! Rosie may be disgusting and desperate (to have fucked Prescott!) but Smith is a serious disgrace to public office and he should be humiliated and hounded (or should that be “Hoonded”?) from office without delay. I HAVE SPOKEN

  42. 42
    Prezza's Short's says:

    Hearing Rosie fart is one thing, being downwind is something else.

  43. 43
    God says:

    I’m not fucking lost!

  44. 44
    Auto Asphyxia says:

    For me it is much more about the BENT legislation that has been introduced to reward incompetent private companies with fat contracts to screw up decent services previously delivered at half the cost by civil servants. Water, electricity and gas supplies immediately spring to mind.

    Much of this legislation can only have been PAID FOR.

    That’s a strong accusation, but who doesn’t believe that this Government has been for sale since 1997, right to its rotten core?

    That is where the REAL scandal has been. Expense claims were mere trimmings in comparison.

  45. 45
    Andrea says:

    Brown stoops to new depths.

    Daily Mail article about the death of his daughter

  46. 46
    Tricky Dicky says:

    Good point – plus despite being as corrupt as Hell, they did a pretty damn good job of running the country. The current lot are corrupt AND incompetent as well!

  47. 47
    Chief cashier says:

    Please let me know how to get a job in the fees office at Westminster. I know I could do a better job than those already working there, and have lots of experience of working in finance, or maybe its a closed shop.

  48. 48
    Aristotle says:

    your choice

    the sound of silnece or

    piggies makin’ bacon…

  49. 49
    Indigo says:

    Carry on troughing:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1189408/Labour-MPs-lobby-peerages-amid-fears-lose-seats-election.html

    God forbid that any MP should have to find a real job.

  50. 50
    John Prescott says:

    Aye, old Rosie does make a hell of a wailing noise when she ‘as one o’ them organisms. Takes bloody ages though!

  51. 51
    God says:

    OK I forbid it!

  52. 52
    Sir Robin Knest-Magpie says:

    Maybe we would all like to soundproof our bedrooms just to cut the noise down of the external anti-social behaviour and bloody police sirens, etc. Perhaps we would like to turn the volume up on our radio, occasionally, to mask the fighting next door? What this is about is the fact they our masters believe they don’t need to experience the blight which we have to. Socially and financially.

  53. 53
    Andy Carpark says:

    Why no totty watch tagline?

  54. 54
    Julie says:

    Very unimaginative

  55. 55
    An ordinary voter says:

    Gordon refused to appear on BBC Breakfast – they have been i/v all other party leaders in run up to euros -the reason being given “He’s too busy !” yup too busy to explain to the electorate why they should vote Labour on 4 June. He sent Harman who after mouthing the mantra “If any MP has been found to have broken the rules” before Susanna Reid laid into her regarding Blears and then Charlie Stayt read her an E Mail from a viewer basically saying that Harman was talking bollocks and that what MP were doing may well be within the rules but it was morally indefensible.Harman looked like a “goldfish” and was obviously struggling and kept going on about “MPs must also show ‘good judgement’ etc etc and that whilst they may still remain in the Labour Party the electorate would ultimately decide their fate “- goodbye Hazel then ! Harman no doubt thinking about whether she showed ‘good judgement’ in agreeing to appear – she obviosuly thought that Stayt & Reid normally good Labour supporting types would be going easy on her – sorry Harriett the rules have been re-written it seems !

  56. 56
    Jeremy Bowen says:

    Winterton MUST resign or be de-selected simply on the grounds of having no taste whatsoever. Even John Major who was rogering the not wholly unattractive Edwina was more appetizing than the fat incompetent oaf, Prescott. The vision of a humping two jags, two chins, two buttocks Prescott is sickening. Perhaps she did it to advance her career. Didn’t work, though

  57. 57
    Anonymous says:

    Where’s Gordon?

  58. 58
    Closing in on Benefit Cheats says:

    As Prezza’s former mistress, this poor cow deserves some compensation for her ordeal. Let;’s not attack the victim, eh?

  59. 59
    Jeremy Bowen says:

    Let them find work, as all others have to do. They must NOT get sinecures in the House of Lords where they will be able to rip off the expense system again

  60. 60
    Rick the Roman says:

    We’ren’t we told that today is the day of the latest re-launch? Seems to have gone quiet on that front too. The BBC would have been absolutely drooling if it to have been announced today – orgasms all round fromt eh Breakfast Team onwards – but nothing. Perhaps he’s not too well today and needs to stay in the Bunker orchestrating more Tory sleaze stories with his new friends – the Barclay Brothers!!

  61. 61
    Steve Expat says:

    Please can we call in the POLICE on this lot – throw them in prison one by one until they get it!

    To compare how the “authorities” are treating MPs compared to the rest of us, Mrs Mranil Patel is being PROSECUTED for FRAUD by Harrow council after not informing them that she had changed address while her daugher’s school application was being processed. She faces on conviction a fine of 5000 pounds and a year’s imprisonment :-O

    Good article in the Labourgraph about this, now let’s see some MPs in court please!

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/5335572/The-great-school-scam.html

  62. 62
    Old Muckspreader says:

    Guido, have you spotted that the repulsive McNulty seems to be getting away with it again? The headlines scream “McNulty to repay expenses”, but it seems that the truth is he’s only repaying about 5% of the loot he claimed for his parents’ house. Tell us the truth, Guido!

  63. 63
    Anonymous says:

    Patience dear boy.

    First, the weak piggies who have strayed from the pack need to be picked off by the media hyenas.

    Once they have resigned their expense claims then become the standard by which all other MPs will be judged.

    More weak piggies will be targeted pushing the level higher and higher.

    Any MPs whose standards fall below these and cling on will be seen as dishonourable and local party and media will finish them off – including Miss Piggy Jackboots.

  64. 64

    If I were God, I would do a fucking runner.

  65. 65
    Anonymous says:

    So who is two shags current mistress?

  66. 66
    Steve Expat says:

    ;-) Not guilty of that, but wish I had been. Can we get togather a Wiki-editing team for a bit more of this ‘fun’..?

  67. 67
    Jack Straw says:

    Remind me, who employs my wife?

  68. 68
    Frank says:

    Just getting on with the job

  69. 69

    […] This post was Twitted by ilyine – Real-url.org […]

  70. 70
    Old Muckspreader says:

    Oh, and while I’m at it, did anyone else see the pounding old Iain Dale got from his readers yesterday. He huffed and puffed in defence of Julie McBride, blaming her downfall on the meeja, when it was her constituents wot dun it. His blog got very emotional indeed, with Dale roundly abusing some of his contributors. Lucky for him that he wasn’t addressing a real public gathering, or he might have been lynched.

  71. 71
    Pope Nazi the 1st says:

    I found him down the back of the couch last week. Must have fallen out of my pocket while I was watching quire boy born last month.

  72. 72
    Morley is next in line.. says:

    Former minister Elliot Morley is set to become the 13th MP to stand down in the wake of the expenses scandal.

    Mr Morley, who claimed £16,000 for a mortgage that didn’t exist, is meeting his constituency Labour party tonight and is expected to be advised to step aside at the next election.

    http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23701213-details/Ex-minister+Morley+set+to+be+13th+victim+of+expenses+scandal/article.do

  73. 73
    grandma B says:

    It’s amazing what turns you on, but Prescott is the pits. I question the lady’s judgment both as a Minister and a woman. How could she?

  74. 74
    Auto Asphyxia says:

    Good riddance you fucking greedy trougher.

    When will Brown, Darling and the other cabinet troughers and flippers be going?

  75. 75
    Centre Parting says:

    Earlier on the Pearce chap from the Telegraph was being given a hard time by Stayt but:

    1. The BBC people are going to be given big resettlement allowances to move to Salford – gross abuse of license payers and tax payers money.

    2. As we all know, the BBC have been very ‘selective’ in their reporting – really pisses me off that they are reporting certain bits and slag off the Telegraph over the main principle.

  76. 76
  77. 77
    Anonymous says:

    Advised to step aside at the next election.

    They are all getting that advice as it maximises profits. But is it advice, are the party leaders complicit in maximising crooked MPs ill gotten gains? Dave said he wanted a general election now and if he told all his crooked MPs to go NOW then he would get his election now, so why doesn’t he?

  78. 78
    Another ex says:

    I think the project was probably for sale well before 1997.

  79. 79
    Anonymous says:

    She’s got the perfect name too.

    LAETITIA/b>

  80. 80
    Harri says:

    Her mouth is definitely truth proofed !

  81. 81
    MrPeregrination says:

    The problem we have is that most politicians have now been shown to be in it for all they can get and don’t give a toss what happens to the country. We need all these bastards cleared out and a tight set of rules put in place to make sure the next lot can’t rob us blind. Then maybe they will actually focus on making sure they leave the country in a better state than when they entered parliament instead of concentrating on leaving their bank account in a beter state.

  82. 82
    An ordinary voter says:

    Er like f***king up the country you mean ????

  83. 83
    Anonymous says:

    http://www.dailyexpress.co.uk/posts/view/104085/Yard-moves-step-closer-to-MP-quiz

    at least the Express hasn’t forgotten five bellies smith

  84. 84
    Siegfried says:

    She can make £500 an hr as an escort, of cource, for the more extreme stuff.

  85. 85
    Harman Pride says:

    Did you see me on TV this morning? Did you? I’m so good!

  86. 86
    papasmurf says:

    Let me get this right…..Winterton gets a job in Prescott’s office…. she allows him to get into her knickers…. he then promises her the earth (Or at least a safe seat).. so he uses his influence to caterpult over the heads of decent hard working labour activists who want to do good and think the Labour ideology is the right way to do it…… she then is elected and gets her nose in the trough………. Prescott then has to peddle his line to some other amenable woman.

    Enter Tracy…… “Tracy… if you want a safe seat could you………….”

  87. 87
    Johnny says says:

    Not too quiet to regurgitate the ghost of his dead daughter.

    The day my Jennifer died.

    Of course, he would never use his family as props now would he.

  88. 88
    Anonymous says:

    Dal will have to write another of those utterly boring lists and about the protests rather than his favourites from musical theatre.

  89. 89
    justoneglass says:

    ‘cos JP isn’t totty

  90. 90
    Tracycee says:

    It’s sill me, me me!

  91. 91
    Steve Expat says:

    Good fucking riddance – we want to see you in PRISON, the same place WE would be if we had done that, you fucking hoon

  92. 92
    Troughtastic says:

    A LONDON MP was caught in a new expenses row today over using taxpayers’ cash to fund her constituency party.

    An Evening Standard investigation has found that Barking MP Margaret Hodge has let her local Labour party use half of the two-storey building she rents in the constituency.

    Ms Hodge used public funds totalling more than £60,000 to rent and equip 102 North Street in the town centre. The first floor is Ms Hodge’s constituency office, where she and her staff deal with casework and constituency issues, the purpose for which the allowance was designed. But the ground floor has become the headquarters of Barking Constituency Labour Party, which never had a base of its own until Ms Hodge provided one.

    The phone number given for Barking Labour Party in the Yell.com directory enquiry service is the same as Ms Hodge’s constituency advice line. The phone bill on this number is paid by the taxpayer.

    The MP has had the property for about three and a half years. The landlord, Barking council, confirmed that she is the sole tenant and the rent is paid out of her parliamentary office costs allowance.

    A council spokesman said: “The amount is paid to us directly by the Commons Fees Office.”

    http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23701307-details/London+MP+claims+public+money+for+Labour+party+HQ/article.do

  93. 93
    Siegfried says:

    Morley is trying to do the impossible…

    Living near the sack of shit? Give him a hand!

    http://www.elliotmustgo.com/

    Subsequently we are taking a petition tomorrow morning in from 10:30 onwards calling for Mr Morley’s immediate resignation. BBC North and the BBC Politics Show will be attending and are keen to talk to SHunthorpe constituents as to their feelings on the response to date. We will be situated on the High Street outside HSBC from 10:30am onwards and the BBC will be arriving at 11am.

    Take this opportunity to make your voice heard so Mr Morley is under no illusion as to public feeling on this whole shameful episode.

    We also need helpers – if you’d like to help, reply to this post and our admins will get in touch with you

  94. 94
    HarrietHarman`sLoofah says:

    Can`t believe Two Shags would get much noise out of her – except perhaps laughter.

  95. 95
    grandma B says:

    How delightful to have a bit of old-fashioned swearing. The old swear words had a certain ring. The modern form of swearing gets a bit repetitive at times.

  96. 96
    anonybot says:

    Julie McBride ??? The woman’s got enough problems without that one !! By the by Dale is now out for Cash’s blood it seems ! Was he a closet “Majorite” in 1992 do you think?That for those short of memory was when Bill was ringleader of the “Maastricht Rebels” and almost brought down Major’s government !

  97. 97
    Christopher Wren says:

    Surely the London Eye and The Millenium Dome are up there with Machu Picchu and The Egyptian Pyramds.

  98. 98
    Troughtastic says:

    Because he has a large mortgage to pay?

  99. 99
    Evan Mor Anonymous says:

    Were it just the soundproofing claim, I’d ask WTF is wrong with Boots’ earplugs (they sell 2 types I can tell you), and/or a bloody ASBO from the local Trading Standards? But together with the redecorating claim… well now, looks like we have a screamer who likes wet and messy. And it isn’t the neighbour.

  100. 100
    Ghost Righter says:

    FFS Guido, I’m trying to have my breakfast here.

  101. 101
    Holier than thou says:

    Let’s hope God has a decent safe for his valuables.

  102. 102
    Derek Al Draper says:

    Praise allah.

  103. 103
    Redditch Raven Master says:

    Neither have her electorate ! Roll on the election and then byee Jacqui!!!

  104. 104
    Thinking aloud says:

    I’ve noticed that you can comment on this expenses issue on every blog/website going apart from the headline making Daily Telegraph. Why is that?

    Just wondered.

  105. 105
    Steve Expat says:

    SHoonhorpe – Guido, your bad language filter need a bit of tweaking!!
    It’s S C U N T H O R P E :-)

  106. 106
    Anonymous says:

    60 Rick the Roman says: “We’ren’t we told that today is the day of the latest re-launch?”

    This is it:

    Seven million ‘use illegal files’ 28 May 2009

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/8073068.stm

    That is, who are we to criticise MPs ? ;-)

  107. 107
    thick as thieves says:

    never mind all this fucking bullshit Guido, you are trying to pull a fast one!
    what about a piece on the excellent process of the israel palestine negotiations?
    President Obama has told israel to stop breaking international law and stop building on occupied palestine.
    the american taxpayer cannot afford to continue to fund israeli war crimes and the President can very easily reduce the supply of arms to israel because he is the arms dealer who supplies them.
    VICTORY BY ALL PEACEFUL MEANS NECESSARY.
    VICTORY THROUGH PEACE (good one, innit!)
    peace in Israel and Palestine 2009.
    good work President Obama, you are building a remarkable legacy.

  108. 108
    Closing in on Benefit Cheats says:

    Well it would take ages, yes. Not surprising when you’ve got a fanny like Mary Poppins’s bag.

  109. 109
    Georgia Gould's Golden Parachute In says:

    Have another look at which nu liebore big knobs and pussies were supporting the delectable Ms Gould’s candidature at Erith – and you may conclude something else interesting.

  110. 110
    RavingMad says:

    You know, all this continued information about how MPs have misused the system ie mispent OUR money, is fascinating. But there is a pattern emerging that gives us cause for concern.

    1. There is nobody with leadership qualities at the top of current political life. No party leader has demonstrated an ability to deal with this crisis adequately. Errant MPs are still getting away with murder by not resigning, merely ‘standing down’ at the next election. This is not good enough because it enables them to continue troughing.

    2.No MP appears to be learning anything from the process of exposure because they are still coming up with excuses all the time. Bill Cash is claiming he’s done nothing wrong. Some 200 MPs have had their claims examined and they still don’t get it do they? They still think they have a ‘right’ to do what they are doing.

    3. The most alarming of all for me is the fact that there is NOTHING the population can do to change things. The people have no power whatsoever – other than blog and write letters – to stop all of this fraud and change the system, getting rid of the criminals and re-developing an interest in the welfare of the country. The current MPs trying to correct a bad system, one they all signed up to, is an anachronysm. They cannot do it. The people shouldn’t accept it, rather there should be a fresh start. But in the UK there is nio means by which the people can express their wishes. This is what we should be concentrating on now – and changing things!

  111. 111
    Luton based says:

    Imagine how reinforced her bed must be
    FUCKING HELL
    This is man who breaks bog seats

  112. 112
    Anonymous says:

    Muesli ? Or are you more a fried egg and sausage man ?

  113. 113
    Satan says:

    I shall be along directly.

  114. 114
    2345 says:

    The (reported) Labour minister who authorized the now boring sensationalized claims is 100% accountable to taxpayers and others if he’s party to financial impropriety.

    It’s the usual media spin and manipulation ………

  115. 115
    papasmurf says:

    13…….. unlucky for some

  116. 116
    Auto Asphyxia says:

    Your right, my examples highlighted some pre ’79 opportunities for self improvement, but the list of NuLab fraud is endless. Road charging anyone?

    All we need to prove it is a mole with an empty bank account and a CD burner.

  117. 117
    Anonymous says:

    Never mind the electorate of Harrow will do the job on him come the election.He’s finished

  118. 118
    Anonymous says:

    http://lolfatcats.com/

    quite amusing although not enough Labour MPs on it yet

  119. 119
    Postal Vote says:

    Indeed, probably not good for the female hygiene.

    By the way, maybe she had the walls soundproofed because she was tired of hearing the loo seat break.

  120. 120
    Steve Expat says:

    Good spot Troughtastic – This is ILLEGAL under party funding regulations written to separate state and party activity.

    Not even close to any rules, this sort of arrangement is exactly what the rules are there to prevent.

    Definitely one for Inspector Knacker this…

  121. 121
    Anonymous says:

    I feel sick – this man just keeps plumbing the depths – TWAT

  122. 122
    RavingMad says:

    so that’s why he needed toilet seats, safe ones 0f course!!!

  123. 123
    JMT says:

    Now that is a blatant mis-use of Public Funds.

    Against all rules – and the law.

    I am sure she can take some comfort from the fact that she is not alone.

  124. 124
    It doesn't add up... says:

    Meantime some sounds of desperation from miliband minor:

    http://page.politicshome.com/uk/miliband_eu_governments_appalled_at_prospect_of_tories_leaving_epp.html

    Not ratify Lisbon? He really thinks Cameron won’t do that!

  125. 125
    Steve Expat says:

    The interesting thing is that the DT have only worked through 200 MPs’ expenses. This means that they’re not a third of they way through the troughers yet.

    This could run until August!!

  126. 126
    Take the Cash and run. says:

    I would hazzard a guess that Bill Cash (very unfortunate name) has not got long left in the house of commons. It won’t be long before the Sunday redtops get his daughter Laetitia’s (very apt name) boyfriends to reveal exactly what went on in his flat.

  127. 127
    Siegfried says:

    A whip can do miracles.

  128. 128
  129. 129
    Wet wet wet says:

    Is this what Labour spin doctors are reduced to?

    Mandelson must be turning in his bed, sorry grave, sorry nest, sorry nylons.

  130. 130
    Cath says:

    Don’t be hasty!

  131. 131
    Grytpype-thynne says:

    Dale had his “Nadine” moment yesterday.

  132. 132
    anony60mous says:

    The “London Eye” is quite entertaining compared to the god awful “Millenium Dome Experience” ! I was one of the few who probably visited in 2000(don’t ask grandson’s school trip !!!!!!)It was totally mind numbingly awful – the main participant in the show in the amain arena being “Sky Boy !” but then again Mandelson was in charge so no surprises there.

    Incidentally I still have the leaflet and brochure(Saddo or what but I wanted to keep it to remind myself how effing awful it was !”)

  133. 133
    MisterE says:

    To be fair, when you think of it like that, the taxpayer’s expense seems almost justified – if only to save her neighbours from years of expensive trauma counselling…

  134. 134
    papasmurf says:

    Raving……… you are quite right I fear. MP’s can only wait and see if they get ‘outed’ or not. The chances are that they will all be outed in one form or another. For example if they are not picked on by the main steam press.. you can bet your bottom dollar that their opponents at the next GE will be pouring over their receipts.

    MP’s cannot do ANYTHING about the situation because they have taken the money and the evidence is in the hands of an organisation that will not be corrupted, at least on this story. So wait they do.

    The Leadership issue is being handled approproately……. again there is nothing any of them can do because they partook in HOOKY claims themselves. So they waste and use time to get the issue out of the public mind…… but there is the trouble……. the publice will not forget this one at all. Would it be interesting if even the Leaders get kicked out at the GE !!!

  135. 135
    Silvio Berlusconi says:

    ‘Miss Winterton, 50′

    since when did England have fifty year old ‘maidens’ who have the face of a dried-up old coffin dodger bint? You blokes must be fucking hard up for a shag or fucking blind.

  136. 136
    Closing in on Benefit Cheats says:

    Yes, and while you’re at it, spare a thought for the war criminal whose name is fast becoming the new ‘c word.’ :-D

  137. 137
    Anonymous says:

    She is a whore like all the rest – it is the power she craves certainly not Prezza’s good looks is it.

  138. 138
    2345 says:

    When is “leaked” information merely spin and manipulation ?

  139. 139
    warmonger says:

    When dropped a nuclear bomb on Japan in was pretty peaceful in America.

  140. 140
    Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

    From the DT

    Miss Winterton, 50, is a close ally of John Prescott, the former deputy prime minister. She has known Mr Prescott since she was a student and began her political career working in his Hull constituency office.

    Something seems to have worked well.

  141. 141
    JMT says:

    That is what passes for PR in Labour circles – load up the Lords cos’ we is f**ked in the Commons.

  142. 142
    Breakfast Ruined says:

    Ah, Enver Hodge, the nonce’s friend. Now she is well overdue a visit from Inspector Knacker.

  143. 143
    Alibis4mps.com says:

    Need an alibi fast? Here’s a few of our free alibi’s

    * It was a mistake
    * I will pay it back
    * My husband made me do it
    * I am just a mother
    * I am not good with numbers
    * It was within my rules

    For further amazing alibi’s do visit us at Alibis4mps.com.

    Look out for our premium service, and our two-for-one offers on now!

  144. 144
    Harri says:

    Dolly has found God has he! its only a matter of time before he finds Allah.

  145. 145
    Andy Carpark says:

    To develop a previous hypothesis, if Heather Mills is the thinking man’s Nadine Dorries, Nadine Dorries is the thinking man’s Ian Dale.

    Or something. As someone other than Mae West once said, you’re only as straight as the man that you feel.

  146. 146
    fidothedog says:

    According to Tracy it was only 2 inches, soundproof the laughter maybe?

  147. 147
    no longer anonymous says:

    Stick to hurling abuse at people.

  148. 148
    Pugh says:

    Gordon Brown. David Blunkett.

    I rest my case.

  149. 149
    A Pensioner says:

    Mais oui, Silvio. The old Google translater did quite well on this one.

  150. 150
    Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

    Bill Cash is old school. How’s this for an elegant way to say fuck-off?

    …He added: “What is lawful is appropriate.”

    Asked why he lived in clubs rather than his own flat, he said: “I just didn’t and that’s all there is to it. I was nomadic at the time. It was around the time I was moving between two places and I was moving around.” ….

    Class will out, you see.

  151. 151
    Sir William Waad says:

    I used to despise Heat magazine but now I can see the fun in following the small doings of unpleasant people. Personally I am quite happy to pay for Rosie’s bathroom tiles – a bit ‘off the wall’ perhaps, but we can’t have the poor woman living in squalor. When the Government wants to spent £300 billion on a bank that doesn’t work, or £20 billion on an IT system that doesn’t work, I happily send them a cheque (after all, money grows on trees), so a splash of magnolia paint isn’t going to hurt.

  152. 152
    Monkey Brain says:

    Can you ‘see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil’?

  153. 153
    The complete Cunt says:

    On Sunday May 19th Guido posted.

    “Coming Tomorrow:How to Fiddle £2 Million On Expenses Tax Free! Within the Rules! “

    COMPLETE HOON GUIDE TO FLIPPING

    Why are we still waiting?

  154. 154
    Harri says:

    Prescott and his amazingly small todger has been doing the Westminster rounds… that would account for three Labour backbenchers being on suicide watch then?

    Now i really do feel for them… NOT, give them the revolver and the whiskey bottle, and another thing why did Naddine get so many people worked up at the prospect of MPs being ” close to the edge” and could top themselves… well some time has passed now and .. fuck all! not even so much as an attempted suicide, i bet the cow was rubbing salt in the wounds and teasing us… i hope they hurry up , the sell by date on my popcorn is due soon.

  155. 155
    A Surveyor says:

    Unless my theodolite is lying, Prescott’s belly has a 9 inch overhang, and said young lass has a six incher. So unless the former bar steward has a greater than fifteen inch cock its not humanly possible to raise a squeal.

  156. 156
    Questions for Cash says:

    Can you elaborate on your “nomadic” lifestyle Bill?

    What exactly were you doing in that period?

    Were you visiting festivals perhaps?

    Squatting?

    Laying concrete caravan standings on Surrey wasteland?

    Asphalting driveways?

    Living in a teepee?

    Do tell Bill. You sound like a fascinating old cove.

  157. 157
    Nearly Headless Nick says:

    “What is she was so keen on us not hearing about?”
    Grunts and groans as the fat bastard got off?

  158. 158
    General Motors spokesman says:

    We are willing to negotiate with Chinese, Indian and even the Italians over the sale of Vauxhall/Opel but we draw the line at the British and especially the Scottish English. Endemic Corruption is one thing but dealing with lowlife criminal scum is too much even for us Yanks.

  159. 159
    Flemingcrag says:

    The most successful soudproofing has been the one thrown around this incompetent Government by the Fourth Esate, they have all demonstrated zero investigaive journalistic zeal, prefering to feed their headlines each day from a succession of Labour spin merchants, each one more poisonous than the previous (Campbell/Whelan/McBride and you can include Maguire) and all to an agenda, this one;
    During the 12 years of Labour rule the rich have got richer like never before and politicians at Westminster/Devolved Assemblies/Councils and Quangos have trousered the taxpayers’ money like never before.
    Whilst this has been happening the infrastructures of the Country, Hospitals/ Roads/ Raliways and Defence have never been more poorly run nor given of such poor quality service (people are afraid to go into hospital lest they come out with something worse than that which they went in with).
    All this to the backdrop of the poor geting poorer and the middle class being reduced to penury through higher taxes and still the majority of the Fourth Estate support this Government.
    All of us must ask ourselves why? The answer is bound to take us onto the streets where the “state police” will undoubtably bring orderly control by busting our heads, remember the G20.

  160. 160
    Nearly Headless Nick says:

    Yes, the mulatto is building a legacy, but not one the American people want!

  161. 161
    Stating the Obvious says:

    Dave can kick all of his MPs out. It still won’t cause a GE. Only Cyclops or the Queen can do that.

  162. 162
    Nearly Headless Nick says:

    Who – god (whatever that may be) and Blair…Ho,Ho.Ho!

  163. 163
    Nearly Headless Nick says:

    But can he find his pecker?

  164. 164
    papasmurf says:

    Sir William

    You have accidentally hit on a niche market for a new magazine……. “Political Heat” Why allow all these Luvvie types all the fun. A Political Heat TV channel (perhaps adverts on the Parliament Channel directing to the latest on the PH Channel) would cover all the gossip and news that will shock.

    With the advent of all receipts being published…. there is ample opportunity for investigative hacks to uncover the sex, sleaze and scandal…. and if it all goes “quiet” then they can resort to just making it up !!!!!!!! Brilliant, can’t wait. Who do I pay my subs to Sky?

  165. 165
    EC1 PhD says:

    Rearranging deck chairs

  166. 166
    Nearly Headless Nick says:

    How can you forbid it when you don’t exist?

  167. 167
    PD77 says:

    Lets hope he doesn’t find Jesus or he’d sell him out faster than Judas :)

  168. 168
    Nearly Headless Nick says:

    Yes – in her younger days Madame Curry (!) was quite fancy in a sort of way!

  169. 169
    Anonymous says:

    AAARGH!
    No more please!
    I have this image of a fat wobbly , spotty arse in my head and it won’t go away!
    MERCY!

  170. 170
    Berks Peerage says:

    Bill Cash bungs daughter £20K

    – Kash for Huntage?

  171. 171

    Guido wrote: “What is she was so keen on us not hearing about?”

    If she was Prescotts lover she probably was embarrassed at the diea of the neighbours hearing him grunting like a big fat pig.

    What I can’t understand is, why the Labour thieves didn’t go into the Star Chamber and say to their inquisitors, “If I am found guilty of any misdemeanor, I will do the decent thing and resign as an MP immediately.”

    There is no way Gordon Brown would then get rid of them. The threat of a by-election would save their miserable lives. From our point of view, it would just increase public anger.

    Ampers

  172. 172
    Nearly Headless Nick says:

    Doggy fashion?

  173. 173
  174. 174
    JessTheDog says:

    The rhythmic slapping of Prescott’s bellies against Rosie’s posterior, and his piglike grunts and bellows, were all too much for the neighbours. They complained to the council who issued a notice of statutory noise nuisance requiring abatement under the Environmental Protection Act 1990. So I am told. Allegedly.

  175. 175
    Shithead says:

    Good on yer, Anonymous. Let’s put this in the comments columns in the national broadsheets NOW!

  176. 176
    Steve Expat says:

    That’s disgusting.

    He says nothing on any expenses-related or Euro elections-related subject this week, then comes out with this thinly vailed attempt and garning public sympathy.

    It’s almost as if he thinks that this might encourage people to vote for Liebour next week

    Sympathy, found in the dictionary somewhere between Shit and Syphillys…

  177. 177
    Me arse hurts says:

    Sounds more like a plant from the get gordon out campaign by cabinet ministers. I want the whole f-ing cabinet out. Out of the country.

  178. 178
    michel de montaigne says:

    Guido is getting lazy or losing contacts. Since the McBride emails the input has mostly been via the Telegraph. Even this thread is inuendo with no evidence. As yet Guido has a long way to go before he joins Drudge and the Watergate reporters.
    It seems as though Guido is getting undue credit on here. Let’s have some meat, it’s getting rather repetitive : the names change but the story is the same.

  179. 179
    Anonymous says:

    new to politics,can someone expalin why the TORY PARTY are know as the NASTY PARTY??

  180. 180
    Anonymous says:

    BBC was bigging up Bananaman, Foreign Agent Miliband, on Toady this morning – up against Hague. Millipede’s opening remarks were so fatuously of student hegelian-marxist type twaddle that I almost strangled the cat. Having got over that, I noticed the sound balance was odd – whenever Hague was speaking, the sound was subtly but distinctly quieter; when Davis or Millipede were speaking, their voices were louder. The effect of course being to make Hague appear as feebler, less worthy of the listener’s attention.

    If I were in Tory HQ I would keep an ear out for more of these BBC “off-days”. This type of bias is crass, gross, and not subjective.

  181. 181
    A Pensioner says:

    Would that be an ASSBO?

  182. 182
    John Prescott says:

    Those bloody paper cup against tha’ wall neighbours. That will teach ‘em to listen to our moaning and groaning…

    about Tony!

  183. 183

    Just thought of the downside here, they would all end up £1,200,000 richer. :-(

  184. 184
    Ronnie Biggs says:

    Psstt.. Don’t suppose you’ve got any alibi’s for bank robbers have you?

  185. 185
    A Pensioner says:

    Berk, ease off. She’s not a bad looker – unlike all the other fat bints we’ve been exposed to recently.

  186. 186
    Anonymous says:

    oo, get her!

  187. 187
    Pissed off voter says:

    I suspect your post contravenes the terrorism act :)

  188. 188
    Boris Livingstone says:

    You have it slightly wrong. The nasty party is…

    The Labour Party

    The Tories will be the nasty party after the next election if they win.

  189. 189
    Postal Vote says:

    sharpening his skills, for running budget deficits that is

    remember, no novice should aspire to be as good at running budget deficits as Brown!

  190. 190
    The Rt Hon Santa Claus says:

    That seems likely, PROVIDED the pressure from the population at large can be maintained. If that drops, they’ll all breathe a big sigh of relief and everything back to normal.

  191. 191
    Another Surveyor says:

    The 9 inches still applies, and I’m betting her arse is minimum a 6 incher, so the original assumption still stands.

  192. 192
    Anonymous says:

    Could be on your head.

  193. 193
    Postal Vote says:

    labour will always more generously fund the bbc than the conservatives – large part of the bias explained

  194. 194
    jgm2 says:

    Labour? Make tough decisions? When they could just glibly pretend there is nothing wrong and print 200bn quid we don’t have every year in perpetuity?

    I bet that was a tough decision for the economic Titan of Africa, Robert Gabrial Mugabe too.

    Hmmm, piss off the voters and tell them the truth or pretend that you’ve been ‘forced’ to take these ‘tough decisions’ to pretend you know what the fuck you’re doing and just print money?

    It would be a ‘tough decision’ for anybody with a conscience – printing money. It would mean there really was no alternative. But there is a very simple alternative. The government must live within its means like the rest of us have to.

    Simple. But a ‘tough decision’ for a government whose popularity (before it evaporated) depended entirely on pissing exponential amounts of borrowed money into the economy.

  195. 195
    Pissed off voter says:

    It appears the cosy relationship between MSM and senior politician continues to flourish.

  196. 196
    dr. sipp says:

    132MisterE says:
    May 29, 2009 at 9:48 am
    To be fair, when you think of it like that, the taxpayer’s expense seems almost justified – if only to save her neighbours from years of expensive trauma counselling…

    PMSL

  197. 197
    jgm2 says:

    Yep Nadine. You’re confusing me with someone who gives a shit if the entire government topped themselves. Indeed it would put a spring in my step if even one of them did.

  198. 198
    niceonecyril says:

    Perhaps their frequent renactments of the “squeal like a pig scene” from the film Deliverence were getting a little noisy!.

  199. 199
    Disco Biscuit says:

    “Is it in yet?”

  200. 200
    Austrian Economist says:

    ach so siegfried – zis is ze free market at vork. if i vant my pumpernickel skveezed by a young trollop dressed up in ze kinky boots and we come to mutual agreement at £500 all is peace and goodness.

    however, i pay no more than £5 for ze pumpernickel sqveezing if it is done by Rosie Vinterton.

    btw siegfried, are you coming round tonight for poker? my place on sarajevostrasse at 8.30. von der mises vill be zere and sigmund says he vill make it by 9.00

  201. 201
    Postal Vote says:

    perhaps some advanced suspension technology was involved – check whether the ceiling was reinforced on expenses

  202. 202
    Bertie Ahern says:

    Tricky you are spot on but this is not been talked about.
    Remember all the Bills passed by B-lair like a Minister can change any bill without going back to Parliament.
    Removing the rights to protest and spying on the public’s emails and telephone calls while at the same time paying Bin laden’s men thousands in free housing and benefits.
    All this under the snots of all these crooks.
    Notice all the ones standing down are hoping to go on the House of Lords to continue their thieving.
    Let’s have a campaign for an all elected House of Lords of 100 members only.

  203. 203
    Sluicegate says:

    She could make a Monkey out of anyone.

  204. 204
    Postal Vote says:

    michel

    if you’re truly bored rather than a labour or lib dem hack, you can just remove the site address from your favourites

  205. 205
    Alibis4mps.com says:

    Alright Ronnie!

    I have put you on a comp for our premium package, but here’s a few to be getting on with:

    * It was a mistake
    * I will pay it back
    * My husband made me do it
    * I am just a mother
    * I am not good with numbers
    * It was within the rules
    * I’m too old for porridge

  206. 206
    Harri says:

    I bet it was not Prescott cock proofed was it…. Brrrrr perish the thought, i have come over all queasy.

  207. 207
    thick as thieves says:

    wet wet wet, but ’tis you who is is spinning you sp*astic!
    you serve such thin gruel, it is so wet, wet, wet.
    peace in Israel and Palestine 2009 because the man says so.
    GO OBAMA!
    get used to it motherfuckers, it’s a done deal.

  208. 208
    Rogues gallery. says:

    MPs who rejected expenses reform

    Includes:

    Rosie Winterton (Doncaster Central)
    Kitty Ussher (Burnley)
    Julie Kirkbride (Bromsgrove)
    Andrew Mackay (Bracknell)
    Tony McNulty (Harrow East)
    David Chaytor (Bury North)
    Elliot Morley (SHunthorpe)
    Tom Watson (West Bromwich East)
    .
    .

    Well I’ll go to our back door! What on Earth could have possessed them to vote this way?

  209. 209
    artboyusa says:

    Cram it, thicko.

  210. 210
    Pissed off voter says:

    and just how much more will he trouser between now and the election?

  211. 211
    Draper Berkleyensis - cranial leech says:

    Ah, so that’s where Draper has been hiding; inside Anon’s skull…

  212. 212

    So What have I found?

  213. 213
    Citizens advice says:

    Have you tried your local MP’s surgery? They are bound to have a leaflet you can take away.

  214. 214
    Number 10 says:

    Sorry, no one here. Go away. No callers please.

  215. 215
    Unsworth says:

    Always thought she was a noisy fucker.

  216. 216
    Pissed off voter says:

    If a tory government had run the country as badly as the current lot Dale would still be singing their praises. I sincerely hope he never becomes an MP.

  217. 217
    Gussett says:

    Too true!

    She’s the spitting image of Kate MiddleofEngland and Liz Hurlingham. What a classic English rose!

    She could grace the front page of the Daily Telegraph any day. Like today.

  218. 218
    Clouseau says:

    Do you have the rest of that list somewhere? It might tell us who is next in line.

  219. 219
    JMT says:

    That is my dream. To see McSnot getting dumped.

    What a leadership dilemma!!!

    Then we can watch what is left of Labour form circular fring squad and shout “Fire!”

  220. 220
    Olaf says:

    Usual appalling ‘I’m not having Cameron scoop all the coverage, look at me! look at me! Shocking but predictable behaviour from the McMental. Shame on him.

    Brown must go.

  221. 221
    Tracey Temple says:

    Enough, our John had a big sausage, just a pity you couldn’t see it under his belly.

    Right, I’m off to the NOTW, should get £50K about how my room wasn’t padded.

  222. 222
    artboyusa says:

    “Holding her still form in my arms I whispered a final farewell.

    ‘Speak up, Mr Prime Minister!’ called the assembled cameramen. ‘We can’t hear you’.

    ‘Um, okay’ I said. ‘How’s this? “And I promise you, my little dead darling, that I will never exploit your memory for my own selfish advantage” I lied with heart-wrenching candour, as the photographers snapped busily away.

    ” Then I brushed away a tear, gobbled a booger and got on with the job…”

  223. 223
    1381 says:

    Yep and notice the Tamils in Parliament Square.
    Double standards everywhere you look.
    Only Brits get attacked and murdered by the governments thugs.

  224. 224
    The Longest Post in history says:

    Labour (146)
    Nick Ainger (Carmarthen West & Pembrokeshire South)
    Graham Allen (Nottingham North)
    David Anderson (Blaydon)
    Janet Anderson (Rossendale & Darwen)
    Ian Austin (Dudley North)
    Adrian Bailey (West Bromwich West)
    Gordon Banks (Ochil & Perthshire South)
    Kevin Barron (Rother Valley)
    Margaret Beckett (Derby South)
    Clive Betts (Sheffield Attercliffe)
    Liz Blackman (Erewash)
    Roberta Blackman-Woods (Durham, City of)
    Bob Blizzard (Waveney)
    David Borrow (Ribble South (South Ribble))
    Nick Brown (Newcastle upon Tyne East & Wallsend)
    Richard Burden (Birmingham Northfield)
    Colin Burgon (Elmet)
    Andy Burnham (Leigh)
    Stephen Byers (Tyneside North)
    Alan Campbell (Tynemouth)
    Ronnie Campbell (Blyth Valley)
    Ben Chapman (Wirral South)
    David Chaytor (Bury North)
    Tom Clarke (Coatbridge, Chryston & Bellshill)
    David Clelland (Tyne Bridge)
    Ann Clwyd (Cynon Valley)
    Ann Coffey (Stockport)
    Harry Cohen (Leyton & Wanstead)
    Michael Connarty (Linlithgow & Falkirk East)
    Rosie Cooper (Lancashire West)
    Ann Cryer (Keighley)
    John Cummings (Easington)
    Jim Cunningham (Coventry South)
    Tony Cunningham (Workington)
    Wayne David (Caerphilly)
    Ian Davidson (Glasgow South West)
    Janet Dean (Burton)
    Frank Dobson (Holborn & St Pancras)
    Brian Donohoe (Ayrshire Central)
    Jim Dowd (Lewisham West)
    Angela Eagle (Wallasey)
    Maria Eagle (Liverpool Garston)
    Jeff Ennis (Barnsley East & Mexborough)
    Bill Etherington (Sunderland North)
    Caroline Flint (Don Valley)
    Paul Flynn (Newport West)
    Michael Foster (Worcester)
    Michael Jabez Foster (Hastings & Rye)
    Mike Gapes (Ilford South)
    Dr Ian Gibson (Norwich North)
    Linda Gilroy (Plymouth Sutton)
    Nia Griffith (Llanelli)
    Andrew Gwynne (Denton & Reddish)
    Mike Hall (Weaver Vale)
    David Hamilton (Midlothian)
    Dai Havard (Merthyr Tydfil & Rhymney)
    Stephen Hesford (Wirral West)
    Sharon Hodgson (Gateshead East & Washington West)
    Jimmy Hood (Lanark & Hamilton East)
    George Howarth (Knowsley North & Sefton East)
    Beverley Hughes (Stretford & Urmston)
    Joan Humble (Blackpool North & Fleetwood)
    Dr Brian Iddon (Bolton South East)
    Eric Illsley (Barnsley Central)
    Adam Ingram (East Kilbride, Strathaven & Lesmahagow)
    Brian Jenkins (Tamworth)
    Diana Johnson (Hull North)
    Kevan Jones (Durham North)
    Martyn Jones (Clwyd South)
    Tessa Jowell (Dulwich & West Norwood)
    Eric Joyce (Falkirk)
    Alan Keen (Feltham & Heston)
    David Kidney (Stafford)
    Peter Kilfoyle (Liverpool Walton)
    Bob Laxton (Derby North)
    Tom Levitt (High Peak)
    Ivan Lewis (Bury South)
    Tony Lloyd (Manchester Central)
    Ian Lucas (Wrexham)
    Tommy McAvoy (Rutherglen & Hamilton West)
    Stephen McCabe (Birmingham Hall Green)
    Christine McCafferty (Calder Valley)
    Kerry McCarthy (Bristol East)
    Sarah McCarthy-Fry (Portsmouth North)
    Siobhain McDonagh (Mitcham & Morden)
    James McGovern (Dundee West)
    Anne McGuire (Stirling)
    Shona McIsaac (Cleethorpes)
    Rosemary McKenna (Cumbernauld, Kilsyth & Kirkintilloch East)
    Tony McNulty (Harrow East)
    Denis MacShane (Rotherham)
    Khalid Mahmood (Birmingham Perry Barr)
    Rob Marris (Wolverhampton South West)
    Gordon Marsden (Blackpool South)
    Alan Meale (Mansfield)
    Gillian Merron (Lincoln)
    Andrew Miller (Ellesmere Port & Neston)
    Madeleine Moon (Bridgend)
    Jessica Morden (Newport East)
    Elliot Morley (SHunthorpe)
    George Mudie (Leeds East)
    Denis Murphy (Wansbeck)
    Paul Murphy (Torfaen)
    Mike O’Brien (Warwickshire North)
    Eddie O’Hara (Knowsley South)
    Sandra Osborne (Ayr, Carrick & Cumnock)
    James Plaskitt (Warwick & Leamington)
    Bridget Prentice (Lewisham East)
    Gordon Prentice (Pendle)
    Gwyn Prosser (Dover)
    Ken Purchase (Wolverhampton North East)
    Nick Raynsford (Greenwich & Woolwich)
    John Robertson (Glasgow North West)
    Terry Rooney (Bradford North)
    Chris Ruane (Vale of Clwyd)
    Christine Russell (Chester, City of)
    Alison Seabeck (Plymouth Devonport)
    Barry Sheerman (Huddersfield)
    Jimmy Sheridan (Paisley & Renfrewshire North)
    Angela C Smith (Sheffield Hillsborough)
    Angela E Smith (Basildon)
    Jacqui Smith (Redditch)
    Anne Snelgrove (Swindon South)
    John Spellar (Warley)
    Phyllis Starkey (Milton Keynes South West)
    Gavin Strang (Edinburgh East)
    Gisela Stuart (Birmingham Edgbaston)
    Gerry Sutcliffe (Bradford South)
    Mark Tami (Alyn & Deeside)
    Gareth Thomas (Harrow West)
    Emily Thornberry (Islington South & Finsbury)
    Don Touhig (Islwyn)
    Derek Twigg (Halton)
    Kitty Ussher (Burnley)
    Keith Vaz (Leicester East)
    Lynda Waltho (Stourbridge)
    Claire Ward (Watford)
    Tom Watson (West Bromwich East)
    Dave Watts (St Helens North)
    Phil Wilson (Sedgefield)
    Rosie Winterton (Doncaster Central)
    Shaun Woodward (St Helens South)
    Phil Woolas (Oldham East & Saddleworth)
    David Wright (Telford)
    Iain Wright (Hartlepool)
    Derek Wyatt (Sittingbourne & Sheppey)

    Tory (20)
    David Amess (Southend West)
    James Arbuthnot (Hampshire North East)
    Henry Bellingham (Norfolk North West)
    Brian Binley (Northampton South)
    Sir John Butterfill (Bournemouth West)
    Christopher Chope (Christchurch), John Greenway (Ryedale)
    Gerald Howarth (Aldershot)
    Bernard Jenkin (Essex North)
    Julie Kirkbride (Bromsgrove)
    Eleanor Laing (Epping Forest)
    Anne McIntosh (Vale of York)
    Andrew Mackay (Bracknell)
    Andrew Rosindell (Romford)
    Hugo Swire (Devon East)
    Sir Peter Tapsell (Louth & Horncastle)
    Angela Watkinson (Upminster)
    Ann Widdecombe (Maidstone & The Weald)
    David Wilshire (Spelthorne)
    Lady Ann Winterton (Congleton)
    Sir Nicholas Winterton (Macclesfield)

    Independents

    Dai Davies (Blaenau Gwent)
    Robert Wareing (Liverpool West Derby).

  225. 225
    artboyusa says:

    How awful for you…

  226. 226
    1381 says:

    £2,000,000?
    Isn’t that the figure Farage (UKIP)has pocketed.?
    Notice he didn’t deny it last night on Question time.
    Just tried to justify it. The rules!!!!!

  227. 227
    The Rt Hon Santa Claus says:

    Makes McBride look lily white … utterly, utterly nauseating.

  228. 228
    Rogues gallery. says:

    The clickable link is underlined the post above

  229. 229
    Troughtastic says:

    Bill Cash was presumably on the move that night.

  230. 230
    Clouseau says:

    Thank you Cato, of course I knew that all along…

  231. 231
    thick as thieves says:

    artgirl,
    who the fuck are you?
    fuck off nobody.
    thankyou.
    peace israel palestine 2009.
    good news innit.

  232. 232
    Cigar Smoking Man says:

    The tough decision was not to print the money, but whether they would need to start trying (and in all probability failing) to pull it back in before the next GE.

  233. 233
    Feast of Troughers says:

    Other notables:

    Jacqui Smith (Redditch)
    Margaret Beckett (Derby South)
    Nick Brown (Newcastle upon Tyne East & Wallsend)
    Andy Burnham (Leigh)
    Stephen Byers (Tyneside North)
    Frank Dobson (Holborn & St Pancras)
    Caroline Flint (Don Valley)
    Tessa Jowell (Dulwich & West Norwood)
    Denis MacShane (Rotherham)
    Khalid Mahmood (Birmingham Perry Barr)
    Elliot Morley (SHunthorpe)
    Nick Raynsford (Greenwich & Woolwich)
    Keith Vaz (Leicester East)
    Rosie Winterton (Doncaster Central)
    Shaun Woodward (St Helens South)
    Phil Woolas (Oldham East & Saddleworth)

  234. 234
    !Otsumkash Tbungme, Traffic Warden says:

    You can’t park dat heap of shit heah, Mr Thick as Thieves, sah, dis am an urban clearway.

  235. 235
    Indigo says:

    Cash is such a pseud. Nomads are nomadic because they have to search for food and pasture every day, unlike Bill Cash. I doubt, too, that the sybaritic Cash would find being nomadic so romantic if he had to lead the real nomadic life, moving his smelly yurt every few days or sharing his living accommodation with a camel or goats and, like the Inuit, prepare animal hides by chewing them.

  236. 236
    Christopher Robin says:

    You missed the point, so here it is. They don’t build them like Chartres any more, do they, Christopher Wren? They’d totally lost the plot by Beauvais – it fell down.

  237. 237
    Fells Point barfly says:

    Sailor Prescott: Hey Rosie, how am I doin’ ?
    Rosie: About three Knots, John.
    John: Whattya mean?
    Rosie: Yer knot hard, yer knot in, and yer knot gettin’ yer money back!

  238. 238
    Ashiata says:

    I think you are almost correct but not complete in your description. Prospectives are instructed to sniff the crack when Prezza turns round. It’s a trick though, as those that do sniff The Humber Crack are dumped, for they don’t know shit from shit.

    [I am reading the Mulligan diaries and all this crap is in there from years ago, but he is relatively balanced on prezza, saying he has a soft side that rarely is revealed to the public, maybe he saves it for the ladies].

  239. 239
    Harri says:

    I know for certain he had a very large pair of bollocks , he used to wear them just above his eyes!

  240. 240
    RavingMad says:

    there’d only be sufficient of them to fill a people carrier, I’d hire one for the day!

  241. 241
    Ghost Righter says:

    Fried egg and sausage…
    Free range natch. :grin:

  242. 242
    Housing Hubba Bubba says:

    Enter stage right——> PFI.

  243. 243
    Aldolf Hitler says:

    Christine Russell (Chester, City of)

    Pay it back!

  244. 244
    Anonymous says:

    What is she was so keen on us not hearing about?

    Prescott forcing one, ‘sans lube’ up her puckering sphincter.

    I reckon.

  245. 245
    Housing Hubba Bubba says:

    ‘Gordon Banks (Ochil & Perthshire South)’

    I’ll forgive Gordon any wrong doing for that save against Pele.

  246. 246
    Steve Expat says:

    Don’t worry, we haven’t forgotten about your expenses. Your time will come – soon…

  247. 247
    artboyusa says:

    Biting his nails, eating his boogers, not washing his hair, throwing things around the office…so much to do, so little time.

  248. 248
    Ben Dover taxpayer says:

    Cant sack McSnot if they cant find him.
    Reports a strong smell from the No 10 Bunker.

  249. 249

    Hang on in there. The expenses scandal is the symbol of all they do wrong, not a thing apart. It is just the most visible, now. For instance, Moran’s dry-rot fiddling was nothing as compared to the kozy konsultancy Kwango which she set up to pay her to do her own PR on the taxpayer, but it is harder to show how that was done on the back of a beer mat. It is not just a pimple; it is a lesion which shows the pox running through the body politic.

  250. 250
    JimDee says:

    That’s why the big pig Prescott had bulimia. He used to chuck up after eating her out. Apparently she has staggering VO (her box smells like a box of rotting fish heads on a heap of cat shit).

    It says on Wiki she presided over the introduction of the new NHS dental contract. In other words – the poor get no dental treatment and have to knock their own rotten teeth out with hammers, while dentists get £250,000 a year for stabbing patients in the face and while fucked up on coke.

    What an evil bitch. I hope she goes down to China Town.

  251. 251
    Nearly Headless Nick says:

    Reverse cowgirl would do it!

  252. 252
    michel de montaigne says:

    Belatedly LOL Thanks

  253. 253
    God says:

    Ok mate!

  254. 254
    John Prescott says:

    It was my massive todger that Rosie liked! She said that shagging me was like having a fucking baby every time I shoved the pork in!

  255. 255
    John Prescott says:

    Aye, Rosie would be a bit slack for ordinary blokes, but my pork can fill her to bustin’ an’ she got off on that!

  256. 256
    Anonymous says:

    Telegraph hasn’t given us chapter and verse on her flipping record, but in her constituency house she has, in the past few years, had considerable amounts of work done extending her (originally) four bed semi.

    Loft conversion (without planning/building control) permission
    Addition of an Orangery????? (Amdega of course, no UPVC for Rosie)
    Construction of a self contained garden room (Amdega again, the planning officer questioned the wisdom of this given how she had built over most of the garden already, but perhaps self contained may have been prudent given the potential for noise pollution to her neighbours)
    Addition of a dormer window (something about this application is considered so shocking to our sensibilities that Doncaster council has declared it confidential so we may not upset ourselves).

  257. 257
    Rosie Winterton says:

    You’re all jealous because I got to fuck Two Shags! Mind you, I had to fake my orgasm until he promised me a safe seat – then I came like mad and had to soundproof my bedroom to stop the pathetic little poor people from hearing me throw!

  258. 258
    John Prescott says:

    Aye, she were a bit dry were ol’ Rosie – had to use a tyre lever sometimes, to get the pork in!

  259. 259
    Harriet Harman says:

    Did I remember to say that I don’t want to be Prime Minister?

  260. 260
    Harriet Harman says:

    I don’t think that I ever shagged John Prescott – Hmm… maybe one day!

  261. 261
    thespecialone says:

    And on the news just now no mention of trougher Winterton. All the MSM have obviously been contacted by no. 10. ‘Dont mention any Labour Mps or else…remember someone by the name of Kelly?’ MSM are running scared of Labour tricks.

    This has got to get into the news. Gordon and all the other ministers are crooks. Errrrrr, Gordon, Gordon! Where are you??????

  262. 262
    thespecialone says:

    Even the Daily Mail seems to be concentrating on Tory troughers. And then they go an publish Brown’s account (although obviously sad) of his dead baby. Is the DM trying to win over readers to vote Labour?

  263. 263
    thespecialone says:

    As a non-Londoner, I didnt know what Hodge had got up to! Now surely that should be beamed into our living rooms by the BBC,Sky and ITV! Or even in a national newspaper. WHERE IS GORDON?????????????????????

  264. 264
    J Bowen says:

    As much as the hypocrite can lay hands on

  265. 265

    What is it with these Wintertons?

  266. 266
    Archie says:

    Now which is it, ladies; tiny todger or big sausage? You can’t both be wrong, innit?

  267. 267
    grandma B says:

    As a reluctant constituent of Christine Russell could you please tell me what and how much.


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