+++ MacKay : Local Conservative Association Livid +++
Guido has been contacted by constituency members from Andrew MacKay’s local Bracknell Conservative Association. To say they are livid is an understatement. They think he is in denial about his wrong doing and do not accept it was a mere error of judgement – they think it was blatant troughing.
ConservativeHome is polling grassroots feeling on the issue. If a majority of party loyalists give him the thumbs down it will signal real trouble. He may have no option but to consider “retirement”.
Andrew MacKay’s voting record on transparency issues is appalling – hardly surprising in the circumstances:
20 Apr 2007 Freedom of Information (Amendment) Bill — Keep disclosure for MPs’ expenses — absent
20 Apr 2007 Freedom of Information (Amendment) Bill — Exempt only correspondence — absent
18 May 2007 Freedom of Information (Amendment) Bill — absent
18 May 2007 Freedom of Information (Amendment) Bill — absent
18 May 2007 Freedom of Information (Amendment) Bill — absent
18 May 2007 Freedom of Information (Amendment) Bill — absent
18 May 2007 Freedom of Information (Amendment) Bill — absent
3 Jul 2008 MPs’ allowances — External audits and no more furniture — disagree
30 Apr 2009 MPs’ financial interests — absent
His constituents meet on Friday 22, May to decide his fate.
This is excellent progress in restoring democracy…….
as is Elliot Morley suspended from Labour Party It is hard to keep up with all the troughing news.
His statement is laughable and Byzantine in complexity.
“In 1997 when I was appointed minister I was obliged under the rules at that time to class my London home as my main home. That meant I had to make my additional costs allowance claims on my constituency home.
The mortgage interest was £800 per month. This was paying over a shorter period to cut overall costs. That ended in 2006. In 2007 after I ceased to be a minister I decided it was more appropriate to claim on my London home. I have been sharing this with Ian Cawsey MP who paid £1000 per month covering a mortgage of £900 and council tax of £100. I paid for furnishing and other costs at my own expense. This was a non commercial rent with no gain to me and less than the average rents in the area.
When I switched the claim to London in 2007 I renegotiated the mortgage, a large part of which had been paid off through a short period and reduced my mortgage claim accordingly which has been the same from the end of 2007 to date at around £360 per month using the contribution from Ian Cawsey to reduce the mortgage and therefore my claim to the taxpayer. There was an overlap on what Ian Cawsey paid for two months when I switched the claim back. This payment was declared to the Finance department and was deducted in full from my ACA allowance. Since 1997 I have only charged Mr. Cawsey a notional rent which has also been declared to the finance department and deducted from my Additional Costs Allowance.
I pay a number of mortgages and premiums including an endowment policy on my constituency home. I have never claimed for this.
I do my accounts in yearly bundles and I simply let the established payment run as it has for some years. I did not take sufficient notice of my accounting.
When receipts were recently published I realized that there had been an over claim for this period 06 to 07. In fact I could have switched my claim to London in that period but simply never got round to it. When I realized this mistake I took steps to raise the total cost of the mortgage claim in that period of £16800 and have since paid this back in full to the House of Commons. I am entitled to claim for the endowment but I don’t know whether this is now possible and I accept the fault is entirely mine.
I accept that I have made a mistake in this case and have rectified it in full. I deeply apologize for such sloppy accounting in a very loose and shambolic allowance system but there is nobody to blame but myself and I take full responsibility for this.
I apologise unreservedly. I have always given the people of SHuhnehorpe my total commitment and although I will be quite rightly criticized for this I will continue to do my duty to constituents and will also explain the situation in full to my local party.
I have asked Sir John Lyons the Commissioner for Standards to demonstrate that there was no intent. I will co-operate fully with his Committee.”
IT’s a fooking orgy of MP carnage.
Agree with Plato: it was a hideous statement. Particularly this part, though:
“…deeply apologize for such sloppy accounting in a very loose and shambolic allowance system but there is nobody to blame but myself and I take full responsibility for this.”
Your a criminal Morely. Hope you enjoy stir.
http://denverthen.blogspot.com/2009/05/army-anger-over-expenses-scandal.html
*You’re.
Bums.
WHAT A FUCKING PISS TAKE
This is the biggest load of counterproductive gibberish since Cherie Ceausecu’s tearful protestation that her little Euan was in his first term at university.
Good burghers of the SHoonthorpe Labour Party: you know what to do. Kick his arse. Jam him into a Dolly-style Michelin tyre and kick his lardy arse until his nose bleeds.
May I also draw readers to Harry ‘value for money’ Cohen’s expenses…
Cohen repays £13 for toiletries – he’s taken £346k of our money
Nice and gorgeously apropos typo in the picture caption in the Mail:
Money in the bank: The house in Southwark, south London, that Mr Morely claimed expenses on even though he was renting it to a fellow MP
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1181434/Ex-minister-suspended-claiming-16-000-mortgage-paid-off.html
Ah, the Jackass Straw Defence !
‘Accountancy is not my strongest suit’
It got him off the hook so everyone should be permitted to plead the Straw Defence.
Justice will soon be done.
*
AB SENT
AB SENSE MAYQUES THE HART GROW FONDER
Abcess makes the fart go Honda
Go, join Madeoff, you scallywag.
if it was a ‘non-commercial rent’ and the money came ‘at no gain to me’, who was the money paid to? Shouldn’t he say ‘I got nothing out of it except a free London house, which I kept, by the way’.
Abstinence makes the hard grow longer
Will it?
I’ll believe it when I see it.
*
*
*
*
OLIVER CROMWELLS* HEAD
WEN KROMWELL WAS BURIED,
SUM SAY, ARFTER HE WOZ DEAD,
SUM UTHERS DUG HIM UP,
AND THEN HAQKD OFF HIS HED
AND THEY STUQK IT UP ON A SPYKE,
JUST OVER THERE,
ON THE SUNNY SIDE,
OF PARLIAMENT SQUARE
OLIVER CROMWELL WARTS AN*ALL,
WAS FAT SQUAT AND UGLY
AND BY NO MEANS TALL
AND ALL WERE AGREED,
WEN THEY SAW HIS HEAD,
THAT IT LOOKED A LOT BETTER NAO
THAT IT WAS BLOODY WELL
DED
No, it is…..
‘Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder!’
NO! Absinthe makes the tart grow fonder
Andrew MacKay on Sky earlier today
He’s taking it right on the chin today – did same turn on R5.
He’s been caught right out but at least he’s fessing up to it.
his wife is worse – more to come there.
Indeed, power seems to be returned to the people, at least to a degree
Attacking the constituency party is the way forward: voters should issue threats that their votes will go to other parties if a Master Trougher alias Dirty Pig will be (re)selected as candidate.
If voters return a pig to parliament, they have to pay tax for further troughing and have only themselves to blame.
Has John Lyons suddenly been knighted for services to not investigating MPs?
The Penguin
Sir John normally interrupts his busy schedule to keep us abreast of such matters. I’m sure he’ll be along as soon as Morpheus allows…..
Sorry, I’ve been busy gardening, putting in a moat etc. Has something been going on?
Local papers also appear to be very useful in putting the spotlight on members. I also liked the story of Hope coughing up his £41k because one of his local constituency officers rang him up and called him a cnut
A neighbour of mine is a hard-working Tory councillor in the north of England. She was out canvassing last night and is distraught at the number of doors slammed in her face, sometimes backed up by the odd swear word. The word on the street is that it’s even worse for the Labour pavement pounders.
O/T… but have a look at this for a Broonesque chuckle….
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9433610
Isn’t MacKay and his wife renowned in Westminster for trolling off on ‘fact-finding tours’ together across the world….. Not to places like Soweto or the back streets of Mumbai you understand – they like to fact-find on beaches in places like the Bahamas…. apparently.
What about the Deputy Speaker – Grandee SIR ALAN HASELHURST ?
Sweep my chimney – cut my grass – lay that shingle on the drive – where’s our grub – what council tax ? – that’s a nice new oil tank – that’s a good repair job on my patio……..
Throw the lot of them out NOW – from top to bottom and let’s start again !
Andrew and I love the Bahamas nearly as much as Simla, but I leave Andrew behind when I go with my mother on interparliamentary union trips which she loves, especially as theyre free and I dont have to justify them to those dreadful losers in Bromsgrove. I leave my nanny (oops secretary on expenses) to look after Andrew, and my brother Ian in our flat to play on his computer at taxpayers expense. What a sucker Cameron is just like the losers in my native Halifax.
Isnt it strange, that the Tories are falling on their swords, but Labour Ministers and the like are just going to repay the money.
Liz
Can I play devils advocate here? Could it be possible that the real problem that underlies the whole system is with the department that has been advising all these politicians on how best to claim the maximum allowance. I am in no way saying that what these MPs did is right, (I would need to be on special meds for that). I think that this office is run for the specific purpose of HELPING MPs to claim the maximum allowed and to stay within the rules. The question is this
If you started a new job and there were expenses involved and you were advised by the HR department to claim this way and that way would you think that what you were doing was wrong? Lets say that you did think it was wrong, what would you do about it, quit, make a stand and piss off every other employee there who is following the so called rules.
The way I see it is that this office has been there openly encouraging people to make outrageous claims. I think it is also used as a sort of bribe, and I think its all part of the union types that Michael Mcshithead is running. Am I right in thinking that a few weeks ago MPs were being offered 5 grand for the summer period in expenses as part of the NEW system that Brown was offering because they could not claim an attendance allowance during recess. That is a bribe.
Once an MP has accepted the money it becomes very difficult to vote against the motions that will expose you. Mind you to have that very thought does indicate guilt. But can we not say that SOME of these MPs have been guilty of naivety.
Naieve. Not me you sucker.
J Kirkbride.
There has been some sharp posting on the bbc blog today following an even sharper letter in the Daily Troughinggraph (or should you leave out one g from my double g as with the h in Southampton?)
No offense Guido, this is worth reading:
140. At 3:15pm on 14 May 2009, Boilerplated wrote:
#86
“A letter in the DT from an accountant suggested that Hazel Blears paying back what she doesn’t owe (??) would not be good enough as it would go as a credit on her HMRC account, rather than a payment for a debit. She would need to submit a tax return to make amends and face the consequences of that.”
Let me get this straight, she doesn’t owe HMRC money yet she is making a loan to the HMRC (in effect paying her next tax bill early)?
If Iceland can do it, we can do it
Get ready to take to the streets.
It’s about time journalist started carrying 50,000 volt tasers. And when some slimy politician or corrupt public sector drone says, “I take full responsibility..”, the taser should be whipped out and fired in their face, while the journalist shouts, “take that you mutha!”.
Brilliant Work, Guido.
Now the hard part – what replaces this?
(answer – not just a Tory Government)
The roots of it are that MPs felt
- insecure as the job lasts up to 5 years
- frustrated that they have no real power, just lobby fodder
- jealous of the people they dealt with (consultants, media people, businessmen) when they had the responsibility for government performance
That clip from NoW suggests MEPs have the same frustrations.
So, to all the pundits out there, What do we replace it with?
Once again it’s time to think about re-organising society.
We live in a world where most things are automated.
In many countries , there’ll never be mass employment again.
Most Incomes have been flat in real terms for thirty years while a shrinking minority get very rich indeed.
So how to redistribute wealth, and get used to circumstances where no-one works very much?
We replace it with independents, voting according to the wishes of their constituents.
For further details, see Switzerland (the richest, happiest, healthiest, most democratic country in the world).
BASTARDS
Old Holborn
Very good to mention Switzerland
Low taxes and direct participation through referendums can produce:
-high GDP per head
-good infrastructure with trains leaving on time in winter
-world class companies
-better life expectancy
Rather than focus on the Nordic model, politicians should look to emulate the Swiss one.
Yes, sounds simple but don’t think it will work.
The whole structure needs re building.
Government’s in debt to the banks, they had their chance to write it all off when the banks were falling. As usual they choked and fluffed it.
They’re weighed down by PFIs. They’d have to go, and who loses? The banks!
The next lot of MPs will all be surrounded by the usual lobbyists and so on, all infinitely more attractive than the great unwashed.
And the big issues – change forcing structural unemployment – are being ignored.
A post industrial society – more equal, and less wasteful, the rest of the world avoiding the pitfalls – would not have the same pressure to seize oil and other resources (sorry, counter political insurgents)!
I am with OH on this one. If independent MPs could steer this country in the same direction as Switzerland, ( back to EFTA not EU) that would be a good start.
I lived in Switzerland for a bit back in the 90s and it is a bit OTT on the citizen referendum front [voting for new airforce planes etc] but otherwise a sensible and highly democratic place.
When you want to build an extension for example – you don’t submit plans to some office – you actually build a mock-up out of wood so neighbours can see what you have in mind.
Brilliant and simple – why don’t we just do this??
Oh and the cow bells are divine!
No-one confuses heat with temperature.
The first thing not to do is confuse wealth with the measure of it, money.
The second thing not to do is confuse money with fiat credit.
(The third thing not to do is confuse price with surplus value, but not many are that well read).
The rest is easy.
BTW Switzerland is a good example, but I don’t know about broadcasting, as we need to replace the BBC. See Netherlands.
*
L8
I ARRIVED BY THE TOWER,
AT THE ELEVENTH HOUR,
BUT THE BEEF HEATERS WOOD KNOT LET ME IN,
AND B’COS I WAS L8,
I HAD TO GO ROUND THE BLOQK,
IN IN THROUGH THE RIVERSIDE GATE
AS PERSONAL FINANCIAL ADVISOR
TO THE HARE TO THE THRONE,
I HAVE THIS BANGQKHURS* ADVICE,
TO GIVE TO YUNG HARI
OVER MY MOBILE
JELLYPHONE
LOOK ARFTER YOUR PENNIES
AND YOUR POUNDS WILL LOOK ARFTER THEMSELVES,
A KINGDOM IS NUFFING
BUT
A
KHUNTREE FULL,
OF
MADGJYQK
GNOMES,
PIXIES
AND
ELVES
Soon Brown and Darling can blame the imploding economy and tumbling house prices on the unravelling of MP expenses troughing.
Off to the pub now, although it’s called different in this country (not that you care)
Keep nailing them to the wall Guido. I can’t wait for the alleged Balls/Cooper revelations…
Time to come cleanly Balls
I have never had expensual relations with that woman, Miss Cooper.
Up to a point, Lord Cooper.
I want Balls.
Sunny side up? With mayo?
Bored with waiting for news of Ed and Yvette’s downfall I found this detailed report of the Parliamentary Commissioner’s investigation into their ACA claim for their London house. It’s worth a read if only to help analyse what comes out next.
http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm200708/cmselect/cmstnprv/1044/1044.pdf
I’m not sure that we are about to get any major revelations on the main/second home issue as this has already been looked into. It still looks pretty fishy to me but there was just enough wriggle room for John Lyons to let them off.
The best hope is for something to come out of the detailed expenses check.
PS The report says they paid CGT on their previous London home – wonder if that’s true?
This could actually be quite a good way to go.
One brave constituency party could open the floodgates:
Constituency party tell him to stand down.
Cameron never has to mention him again.
Tories get new candidate with no baggage.
Tories win by-election.
Repeat as required.
Very, very risky.
I disagree.
Cameron is seen as a hard man.
The local constituency are the ones with the blood on their hands after another political career ends in failure.
No backbencher left to stick knives in DC’s back, just one who knows exactly where the limit stands on expenses.
Meanwhile Labour form a circular firing squad amidst cries of “but he/she was doing it too”
Yes it is, for Liebour.
I don’t see where the danger would lie.
Half of these people are at best dead-weight and, at worst, potentially damaging to DC in the future.
Labour, due to their numbers and the potential destruction of the cabinet would find such a strategy impossible to match.
It would be a radical spring clean for the Tory party and create a steady stream of by-election landslides enabling Cameron to be associated with a host of victorious, clean, media-friendly candidates.
As long as a semblance integrity were to be maintained in the shadow cabinet the Tories might have nothing to lose.
This is precisely why I said Dave and young Nicky should jointly call for a general election to be held in the autumn. Whilst loth to defend any of these troughers it is plain that there is a spectrum of activity from stuff that is arguably OK (I think a second trouser press is allowable for a man who needs to look smart in his constituency and in the HOC whereas a marble fireplace is of no relevance at all to the job), to the unequivocally fraudulent i.e. mortgage that doesn’t exist. There is a danger that partial reporting by the press and differing approaches by the parties will lead to rough justice and resentment. Gordon’s idea of some central body vetting claims from the past 4 years is laughable unless his agenda is to draw the whole thing out until he is an OAP ( how could I be so cynical?).
The neatest solution is for each MP to submit his/her unexpurgated expenses to his constituency party who will discuss it with him/her and decide if he/she is worthy of reselection. If he/she is reselected, the expenses details will go on-line for ordinary voters to see. All this should be done for everybody simultaneously i.e. in the run-up to an election. Otherwise we just get drip fed stuff and self-righteous BBC hacks start bleating about some relatively minor claim e.g. retaining someone to cut the grass and neaten the edges to keep a garden maintained at a very basic level while conveniently forgetting about major landscaping exposed a few days earlier.
Does anyone remember when we all looked on the Italian government with shock and disgust at the greed and corruption held within? Apart from the fact that we had a change of PM without so much as a sniff of a fair vote on the replacement and the fact that some peerages were possibly given in exchange for large cash donations and the then PM’s wife sat on the cabinet and the whole weapons of mass destruction debacle, we must have seemed a fairly respectable democratic establishment. Oh I Give up….
“Labour form a circular firing squad” what a wonderful image that conjures up. And so perfectly socialist too. Who would you have in the middle – Goebbels Mick ? Don’t wait for Gordo to say ‘Fire’ though.
Just one more of the benefits of being more European, thanks to the EU!
P.S. Vote UKIP.
No, AC1 – the worst parliamentary scandal in 400 years this side of La Manche was achieved entirely by our own bottom-feeder spawn without the help of the EU.
I feel more European and less British by the hour, the longer this goes on.
So you feel proud to be a part of a superstate governed by a “parliament” which hasn’t had its accounts signed off in 14 years do you Indigo?
Anonymous at 3:40pm
Who said anything about a superstate. Europe is a land mass. Perhaps I should have said that I feel more Continental by the hour.
Indigo, they may be home-grown but the two issues are not unconnected. Our politicos are, by and large, overwhelmingly pro the European gravy train.
Now we have hard evidence of the grubby priorities that shape their decision making (interlude: ker-ching! ker-ching!), perhaps we might hazard a guess as to why that might be?
Other countries don’t have cleaner parliments, they just have tighter privacy laws.
Asking local political party members if an MP should be re-selected is now too little and too late.
If any part of a political party, local constituency group, or any other, chooses the next candidate, this problem will be self perpetuating.
The reputation of parliament, both lords and commons, has entered the waste plumbing and is gathering speed and additional sh*t as it goes down.
Ann Widdecombe may be right, there may be some untainted people working in Westminster, but they are having as much effect on saving the reputation of Westminster as a couple of life jackets trying to support a sinking Chieftain tank.
Parties that had a problem with MPs are now THE problem. Patronage and protection of MPs by their party organization has brought us here. Any display of conscience shown by an MP is crushed by the threat of de-selection or bribed away by the carrot of advancement.
A poster on another thread suggested political whipping should be outlawed. Political parties live and die by the coercion of the whips and would never select any candidate that might end the practice.
A general election is needed now. It will not happen immediately, political parties will try to get some defences prepared to deflect the anger that will be shown by the electorate. An electorate who have been lied to, taken for fools, taxed to poverty and treated with contempt by a political class considering it self superior.
Add to that 70%+ of UK law is now made in Brussels and we arrive at a place where politicians have very little proper work to do ( on their own admission), They are very well paid (and expensed) for what little they do and are despised for their hypocrisy ( compare the treatment of benefit cheats and the actions OF MPs after the Telegraph revelations.
Banning political parties would be the best way to proceed. Turkeys do not vote for Christmas so that is unlikely to happen. The only hope for the UK is that sufficient independent candidates stand and get elected to form the majority. Only in this way will the dark stain on parliament, consisting of all party colours, be removed.
Don’t do it Dave, you’ll take all the risks but ZANU won’t. They will never willingly go to their imminent slaughter, they’ll just hang on and ‘concentrate on getting their message across and helping hard working families’
Just wait for the election, when in, reduce the MP count.
Tories and Liberals can never let Zanu happen gain.
I think this is genius by DC,
it pre-empts the BALLS-up expected soon.
Think about it, if double-claiming is worth resigning, how can Balls survive.
50 cal anyone?
Oh he’ll survive, even if he is expelled from the party, you can bet your life that the late night teleconferencing will continue – much as they did between Mandelson and Blair when the “Brussels Boomerang” had his little problems with awkward questions and a restive electorate.
In any case they’ve all got their Directorships sorted with Labours clique of “preferred bidders.”
Yeah : (
And in any case, having screwed us for several hundred thousand quid; will they really care.
I guess what we can at least look forward to is these people being utterly defeated in their “safe” seats, humiliated and villified as the fucking crooks they are.
Especially for Balls, remember he wanted to be the PM.
BRING US THE BALLS
I am not sure that those directorships will be quite so easy to come by. Surely some of the people who are about to get kicked out will never find any sort of employment ever again. I suspect that company chairmen in general are much more aware than are the mps themselves, of what a liability they have become.
It will be the bread line for some of them and well deserved.
50 cal would be ‘over the top’ a little lad like mrs blinky , would be shredded by a .50 cal. The Chinese method would be a lot less messy & you’d have the organs intact for research projects, allowing them in some small measure to repay their debt to society.
can’t we take the organs first and then 50 cal her?
It’s just not the same with lesser calibres, I think in the interest of public contentment there should definitely be a bit of splatter.
This is the debate we need to be having, how to restore trust (with lashings of gore)
Oh yes, maybe the Barrett Light 0.5 at 500 yards. Public could pay a quid a go until all were dispatched.
The Penguin
No it won’t be! – 50cal, please, you could sell tickets
Use them for nasty medical experiments and save some animals.
And if I remember right, in China the condemned have to pay for the bullet used on them. Or would it be claimed on expenses anyway?
Surely someone could pay a Liebour Lord to slip in a law to revive that penalty of being hung, drawn, and quartered for these traitors to the British electorate?
Open fire.
I recommend a double tap to the head and one for luck with a walther at 6 inches
Back of the neck, ahhh.
I know some of the .50 cal fans out there are going to be very upset about this but we need to fundamentally reevaluate how we deal with our crooked members.
I’m actually (at risk of being controversial) going to suggest 30mm autocannon, as it can be fired from a helicopter and makes an enjoyable and playful splash of body parts when viewed in infra red.
These have been fully tested for use on members of parliament and have my official recommendation.
And there goes Elliot…
Report of Elliot Morley suspended from PLP in Daily Mail.Great picture in report of a man, woman and pig, – Does not identify which one is known as Elliot Morley.
8?
9?
10?
157?
fuck only 85
86?
Tell me you didn’t get one of those for Christmas?
The worst kids toy ever.
Hang on a mo. Isn’t his Missus equally culpable?
Despite being a troughing shit he may still be a gentleman.
No, he can always use the “Harman Defence” – I didn’t ask where the money for the mortgage came from.
aiding and abetting??
Troughing Cnuts!
Watching the TV coverage of Labour launching their European Election campaign.
Is it not deplorable the ‘plants’ asking the questions on preprepared notepaper and with labour party pins on their lapels!!
What a waste of time….. is anyone wanting to hear what these hoons are saying now?
Answers on a post card to
Iver Troffing
etc etc
It seems William Hill reckon there’s a good chance that UKIP will beat Labour at the Euros.
http://dizzythinks.net/2009/05/william-hill-say-ukip-will-thrash.html
Yes Yes YES Aaaah
Ooh – I won’t need to buy any Herbal Essences shampoo the week of the Euro elections
Can you see MB there? He’ll be the sallow spotty one with greasy hair sat at the front.
No not that one, the other one.
SALLOW GREASY SPOT SPOT?
Launching their European Election Campaign. Fantastic. Must feel something like the White Star Line’s Entertainment’s Officer wondering why not too many people were interested in the deck quoits championship.
WTF is that apostrophe doing there? What a tard.
I can’t believe they went ahead with this non-visit on a day like this.
Just makes them look completely out of touch and stupid.
Assume it is all part of some bizarre ‘getting on with jobbie’ strategy pretending that we’re participating in a mass delusional experience.
No one I know is talking about anything but this – the lady who helps clean my litter trays and has zero interest in pollytix is livid – she compard MPs to benefit cheats.
Great opportunity for a vote bribing announcement such as “Eurofighter Tranche Three? Definitely until we cancel it!”
The Penguin
They won’t be the only local party association to be livid. Stand by for a weekend of carnage.
Brown on Morely:
“If there are any other disciplinary cases where we have to take action we will take action immediately.”
What he means is we’ll wait until a) it’s made public and b) there has been a formal complaint made to the police by concerned citizens. It isn’t a disciplinary case until the police are involved doncha know?
My bid, mr & mrs balls will have scammed £320,000 from the tax payer.
BBC reports that in 2007/8 they claimed half the second home allowance each (£12, 219)
BBC…AKA the propoganda wing of the NuLabour
I’ll raise you to £330,000 sir.
Thanks – Better – can read this thread – but still getting ‘Internal Server error’ -
Parliament has to be dissolved NOW. Cameron can force it by ordering his MPs to resign. Happily, this will bring down the government at the same time as being the right thing to do.
MPs throughout the house have to face the music – one way or another.
(‘Another’ way – and my preferred option (!) is an army coup followed by an interim military government prior to the restoration of democracy in Britain.)
I don’t think a coup is an option no matter how tempting. The Armed Forces are probably out numbered by Outreach Councillors and they’d have to do a Health & Safety risk assessment first.
We could always reactivate the Chelsea Pensioners.
Coup no, absolutely not but the Queen should intervene. It must be heartbreaking for her to see her Parliament reduced to such low esteem in the eyes of the public. I would go far as to say that this is turning into the biggest political crisis of her reign.
We all know that a general election is needed to allow the public to elect new representatives or return the ones they already have. I would like to think that she will intervene and counsel her prime minister to request a dissolution.
If not anyone fancy organising a petition for her to do so?
Mr Dirty are you a doppleganger?
Yes, but then the TA couldn’t take on the Outreach Councilors, you need the Regular (real) Army to slot those fucks and implement the coup.
Sorry too many officers, not enough Indians in the forces, can’t upset the gravy train.
Don’t think we’ll be needing the boats on this one, Commander. Strictly army (and maybe a few marines). Roger that?
Not a NuLiebour type trying to have a “go” at the Armed Forces perhaps? Gravy Train is not a term normally associated with the Forces.
Piss off “Tarquin Smithers-Smyth Lt CDR RN” you Iranian hugging surrender monkey.
Should have thought a couple of re-targeted Tomahawks would do the trick!
TheRuralArmy.co.uk is ready now
Pitchforks we want pitchforks
Anyone watching News 24? Wtf is going on?!
Is this Communist fucking China ffs?
None of the Ministers have been challenged? Why are there no questions from the press?
It’s as if this were a perfectly normal week!
Brown looks like a wriggling little turd compared to Cameron!
You English are all the in pig trough yourselfs
A nation of shop keepers I think with hidden monies under you bed
Achtung, nein!
Have Germany’s politicians had their expenses published? No, I didn’t think so.
They’d be in German so not many of us would be able to understand them. I suppose we could understand the American ones but might get confused over their inability to use the letter u correctly.
Topf und Kessel
Donner und Blitzen
Sturm und Drang
Art’noon, Adolf.
Ruhe, Deutsch schweine hund!
Gehen Schraube deine Großmutter.
http://denverthen.blogspot.com/2009/05/army-anger-over-expenses-scandal.html
Achtung Englanders!!
Hult dat klapper.
two world wars and one world cup do-dah,
two eorld wars and one world cup do-dah,
two world wars and one world cup oh-the-do-dah-day. stick it Fritz
Sie muessen meine englischen Kollegen entschuldigen, aber die Sozialisten haben unser Erziehungssystems komplett ausgerottet.
Shouldn’t you be with your sister?
The correct expression for a swingers’ night in Mannheim
I had a german plumber round the other day to fix my shower.
He accidentally connected the gas supply to the water supply.
I guess old habits die hard.
Accidentally?
I have to say this………………I fucking hate Hazel Blears, she’s got a head that bobs like those stupid fucking things you see on dash boards……………
And a smile like a ventriloquist’s dummy.
I wonder if she’s in to fisting.
Only if the kind of fisting you are referring to is where you grab large amounts of taxpayers’ cash in your fist and run away
I think that mouth is ideal for teutonic style “Oaten Sports”
Brussles is driving the fucking lot of them. Fucking Puppets
She has given us £13,000 (not that she HAD to, she insists) so we are supposed to like her now.
As many have pointed out, sending a cheque to the Revenue when you don’t have a debit on your account means they cannot use it, but just hold it and credit you when your next tax liability comes up on the computer. Blears will get this money back, it’s a farce.
NO, she’s given the tax department 13k, which they will use to pay any future tax bills they send her. It’s all a giant con. Thieving bitch.
Bloody hell. Do these crooks EVER play with a straight bat?
Are you sure? Do we know whether the cheque has cleared?
That Prescott nodding dog kills me.
Airey Belvoir – well done!!! Blear’s actions is absolutely meaningless….
Just imagine her scrappy pubis astride her motorbike and seeping its unpleasant moistures into her female leathers, whilst she practises that perpetual false grin.
Stop it
I’m hard
20th April and 18th May 2007 were both Fridays so few MPs will have been there. Nice perk if you can get it. They simply aren’t doing their duty and haven’t done for a long time. Halve their number and have everything in the open. They shouldn’t be able to build property empires on expenses.
Swine cull.
Jump.
Mistake is not an excuse.
Advice of fees office is not an excuse.
This was troughing.
Agree advice is not an excuse, but it has become evident that the advice seemed to be to sail very close to the wind and therefore we the public and funders of it all have a right to know who influenced and monitored this advice.
Perhaps Guido can give as a few clues about the running of the claims office (apart from all the revelations). Is it cross-party, do they trough it to the max as well?
This was fraud.
No. 8?
sorry 35 or 36
“Andrew MacKay’s voting record is not exactly on transparency issues is appalling”
Lose the “is not exactly”
Yet more proof that I have a great future as an unpaid sub-ed.
It started in America. Her name Heather Brooke. Born in the USA. Needs to be made a Countess. Countess Brooke can then go into the House of Lords and sort out their expenses. Well done Heather with the (FOI)
Ah, started in America. Yes that’s right.
Yes, and then a big boy did it and ran awae.
Unfortunately it is the other Heather Brooke (nee Harman) who interests these people. Think Richard Timney.
A Spokes PorkPerson for 10 Drowning (in debt) Street has issued the following :
2pm, Thursday May 14, 2009
The Beloved and Glorious Leader, Herr Comrade McStalinBrownStainovich, is this afternoon belabouring innocent children and adults with sanctimonious shit about caring, and sharing.
This platitudinous two-faced back-stabbing twerp, the Bonkers Bullion Bodger, actually imagines that anyone,- apart from paid shills, hanger’s on, jobsworths, local council officials, benefit scroungers, ‘elf ‘n safety ‘n ovva parasites, – actually cares about what he says, – or cares a toss about his discredited party.
Anyway, stuff him.
If you wanna stay behind, he’ll give you smiling lessons, a U-Toob tutorial, and shove a broomstick up your arse to show how he does that weird jaw-dropping thing.
GENERAL ELECTION NOW!!
HEAR HEAR!
pardon?
Not until more of the crooks have been identified and removed and there are better selection and monitoring procedures to ensure we don’t just replace one set of crooks with another.
Guido, your Stringfellow link is busted. It should be:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/personalfinance/fameandfortune/5317793/Peter-Stringfellow-MPs-disgust-me-with-their-fiddling-of-expenses.html
Me and the boys have heard there’s a whole load of new bitches heading our way. Have ordered in a fresh load of lube although I don’t mind a dry one with the right guy.
Mmmmmmmmmmm
Hi, Ron! Remember me?
Yes – you were the ponce in the brushed velvet prison uniform who wouldn’t stop banging on about how clever you were at least until I broke your nose and put something in your mouth to shut you up
What about his sheila?
Julie isn’t it?
She’s in it too and the stains don’t come out easily, I can tell you.
What about her, Christ you Poms are thick!
I think you mean Les Patterson.
Tsk, just can’t get the cultural attaches these days…
The smell of the cheese board….
The Penguin
I want to know when Mr Brown is going to resign for fleecing the taxpayer for ₤6500 in cleaning expenses.
when hell freezes over
I seem to remember that Hazel Blears claimed that she flipped homes because when she was made a Minister she was told that her Primary Home had to be in London. Is that what she said?
I thought the Home Secretary’s Primary home was still in her constituency?
Who is telling the truth? (If anyone).
Fear not my friend, she will get her wish come the election. A mobile home will be hers for the taking………..
Moley, you need help.
Jacqui Smith claims her ‘additional costs allowance’ on the cost of her constituency home. That means the constituency home is the ‘second’ home.
Glad to be of service.
Looking forward to the job add inviting the uk public and especially The Guardian readership to become the next ‘chief blue movie rater’, 38 hours per week and with generous pension.
I reckon the current chief blue movie rater is on black lists to prevent him getting another public sector job.
The Second Home Secretary designated a room in her sister’s London home as her main residence so did as was told like Blears.
What that plainly doesn’t mean is ‘fill yer boots’ with regard to second home expenses.
It’s even worse for Brown and others with grace and favour homes as they had no earthly neccessity for their claims.
Smith turned down the grace and favour London home (justified because as Home Sec she needed protection). I’m sure this wasn’t so she could maximise her troughing??
None of them needed protection until the public found out what they were doing.
Let’s get one thing clear here. They do pay accountants to work this out and claim on that too right?
I could tell you, but then I would have to invoice you too.
Andrew Mackay isn’t Scottish by any chance is he?
Mackay and Kirkbride both Scottish names
No. He was born in Birmingham. His second wife born in Halifax. And I thought it was just the Jocks taking us for a ride.
HOONS
Bllody Hell, the Scottish cancer has spread further than we thought.
Nurse, scalpel!
His wife Julie Kirkbride was engaged to Tory M. P. Stephen Milligan back in 1992. However he died in 1994 and was found dead from auto-erotic asphyxiation combind with self-bondage and cross-dressing. Damm I just wish in my school days they gave me some form of sex education so I would know what is going on. Anyway it is all on the Wikipedia
Does that make their name Mac-Bride in that case?
I keep getting confused.
I want to see the Balls knackered. What’s the news on the news blackout?
We are unable to give you any news on the news blackout because of the news blackout.
Hogwash.
What’s the news on the news blackout of the news blackout?
These are difficult times for many people, so it’s only right that we should be economical with the truth.
It infuriates me how these MPs can call them errors of judgement, or mistakes. It is blatant stealing. Common thievery. No spin can gloss over that fact.
Or incompetance
Guido,
At this rate the Chiltern Hundreds will require a selection committee to be formed.
It’ll be an All-Trougher shortlist. Should Trevor Phillips be alarmed?
I seem to remember applying for the Stewardship of the Chiltern Hhundreds (or of the Manor of Northstead) is a device for resigning from the HOC because they are ‘Offices of Profit under the Crown.’ Errrm……
“His constituents meet on Friday 22, May to decide his fate.”
Far too late, he’s a gonna!
What say you that we set up a Nuremberg affair? Get all these damned greedy snouters in front of a tribunal. Plenty of rope on standby. Must be a Pierpoint descendant or two who could so the honours? Shooting’s no good. Waste of lead.
Do you know, I was just sampling a rather good sherry. Buggered if I know where I’ve put it down.
You’re sitting on it.
I propose myself as the successor to Mr Pierrepoint – I have read his autobiography and so am well qualified to do the job – please send me the detailed list of how many ropes and gallows I can claim for and in addition,supply me with the weights and heights of the entire Cabinet.I will not ask the shit Straw to calculate the drop as of course,accountancy is not his strong point…
Actually if you look at other Stranglers songs,they seem quite appropriate;
Peasant In The Big Shitty
Go Buddy Go
Something Better Change
Burning Up Time
Nice ‘N Sleazy
Lies and Deception
and on and on – the list is endless.
You have, of course, passed the City and Guilds Hangmans Certificate Level 3 I hope?
If not then no problem. I suspect that we can get it rushed through.
Damn – I forgot that nowadays at a hanging you need at least 27 Health and Safety people to ensure that I don’t accidentally hang myself!
Please be careful with that piano wire – it’s fucking dangerous stuff.
Have you done a Health and Safety Assessment?
Ladders can be dangerous, as can nooses and trapdoors.
Gordon applied for Children’s Blinds – when he got turned down he applied for Noah Blinds – he knowingly committed fraud.
That sounds just like Brown all right. We promised you a vote on the Lisbon Constution. This is the Lisbon Treaty. Not the same thing at all.
You are wrong it wasnt “Noah” blinds it was 5 grand for “no” blinds
Went through on the nod
That bloody couple MacKay-Kirkbride being caught spoils it for the rest of us.
Whose next? , I ask.
Those bloody troughing Keens and Wintertons, I guess.
Balls
Cal’s Blooper
Morley’s prison bitch name is:
Moustache Girl
AH (C)
I may be a bit slow but I’ve just twigged why El Gordo the Fat One has not given anyone the chop until today. If he’d bumped off the first victim of the Telegraph – who was it ? – seems a long time ago – he would have set a level beyond which other offenders would also have to go and as the DT has been upping the ante through the week GB would have ended up not just as Billy No Mates but Billy No Cabinet and probably Billy No Party either. Hence whatever Dave did , GB could do nothing until he thought (hoped ?) the end was in sight.
Hang on – have I just suggested that the old twat has actually thought something through ? Sorry, my mistake.
(Excuse me, being semi new here I just need to try something……Huhne. Well what happened ?)
Wow – ain’t that clever.
Sitting here, reading your post and crying with laughter – “Billy No Cabinet and Probably Billy No Party” …
Bravo, encore, more!
Brown is getting battered on Sky
What like a Mars Bar ?
Throw him in the fryer.
This past 6 days has seen power and authority flow away from Brown and into Cameron. Brown is left looking as if he’s playing catch up all the time
Never mind swine flu – when I listen to the half-arsed excuses being trotted out, all I can think of is “Foot In Mouth” disease.
Just saw McMental on Sky news telling reporters that he is taking the necessary action to deal with this problem. Completely ignored Toenails who presented himself before him.
What a pair of cnuts.
“The necessary action.” That’s one of Cyclops’ mantras. He has just a handful and this one is always succeeded by……..absolutely bugger all. Zilch. Nada. Stuff all. What it really means is: “I’m a mentally and psychologically flawed nutter and out of my depth every waking second. I need a committee report before wiping my Scottish arse and I can’t make a decision on which breakfast cereal to stuff into my uncontrollable jaw, never mind whether to sack troughers like the Bleary one ’cause if I do she’ll stick a shiv in my back. Boo-hoo. What do I do…….?
Have another review.
I’m buggered if i can understand why anybody would vote for such a weird looking fucker in the first place.
I think you — and the rest of us — have been royally buggered anyway.
Why the long faces?
Anyone spoken to Lord Ashcroft or Andy Coulson?
Don’t blame you.
Action that’s what’s required and leadership and a scrutiny committee (not Whips, no they don’t exist) and when we get the scrutiny committee set up we’ll have tea and maybe some biscuits or is that in the budget, ummm, how’s my make up looking?
Horse walks into a pub, barman looks up and says, “Evening Sir, but why the long face?”
Man walks into a pub with a fierce dog straining at the leash and asks “Do you serve politicians in here?”, “Yes”, replies the landlord. “Good” says the man “I’ll have one for the dog”
Man walks into a pub.
Ouch !
A person walks into a bar. If she kept her helmet hair out of her eyes perhaps she would have seen it.
Sky news now looking at potential for prosecution under Fraud Act…..
Joy!
I put a Twix in my pocket walked out the shop and was stopped by the supermarket security guard. I told him that it was sloppy shopping on my part and that shopping is not my strong suit I said that I would hand back the Twix. The Police were called and I was charged with theft. – It is political correctness gone mad.
Happened to you too eh?
Sloppy diamond shopping on my part, huge mistake, very sorry and all that – JCB sort of ran it’s self into the wall et etc.
that’ll be its not it’s
That’s nothing. Me and some mates were driving along the road one day when the driver lost control and crashed through the shopfront of a High Street jeweller. I told him that it was a result of sloppy driving but he wouldn’t believe me. Well, keeping calm is not my strong suit, so I knocked him out with a baseball bat that I was still holding from playing earlier with my son. I asked my mate if it would be okay if I took the expensive antique clock on the display shelf. He said that’s fine so long as it was for my second home down on the Costa Del Sol. He said you’d better call the local policeman to escort you home as you can’t be too careful with all these thieves about.
Watch out you’ll be getting bill from a firm you’ve never heard of for about £87
It’s a bit like having crabs… you dip your card (ballot) in the wrong box(ballot) and forevermore you’ll suffer from bloodsucking parasites ruining your life. I’m still scratching and wondering when this will ever end, at least the doctor will give you cream for crabs, this lot are new EuroLice, hanging on for dear life… PUbeLBABOUR, the choice of parasites.
With all this shit hitting MPs of all sides today, then today is a great day to bury bad news. So keep a sharp look out everyone!
Labour peers in focus!?!?!?!?!
Indeed – I see the Olympic project has needed about £300 million to keep itself afloat.
Dead right. They buried this news yesterday:
http://denverthen.blogspot.com/2009/05/pfi-swindle.html
But thanks to the peerless Spectator, the bastards didn’t (completely) get away with it.
“Resignations” “Suspensions” ” Removal of whip” “Standards Comittee”
Damage limitations and whitewashing all round
BBC kicking the sh!t out of Nick Brown – well done!
Happy Birthday Guido!
Well it does seem that in that last week or so, all your birthdays have come along one after another, a bit like buses. So once again
H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y
G U I D O
GUIDO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE BIGGEST CAR CRASH IN BRITISH HISTORY
NOT BAD FOR AN IRISH BLOGGER WITH A PINT !!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GUIDO
I am afraid that to paraphrase Admiral Yamamoto after the Japanes attack on Pearl Harbour – MPs “have woken a sleeping giant!” regarding their expenses and allowances and are in danger of seeing themselves swept aside in a veritable “tsunami” of public anger.
The electorate are incensed and united in their condemnation of the antics of some of our so called “Honourable Members” in other countries less stable or at other times this is how revolutions start,
In some cases saying sorry and repaying part or all of the amounts claimed will not be enough to assuage public opinion.In extreme cases not only must they lose the party whip but also cease to be a MP and also where proved that fraud has taken place be prosecuted.
Public Opinion accepts a lot from our elected representatives but nothing but total reform and a general election will restore Parliament’s tarnished authority or politicians reputations. Some who may have thought themselves in “safe seats” and who have been liberal in their interpretation of the rules regarding MPs Allowances may well find that their support in their constituency has gone never to return and could face de-selection at the first opportunity irrespective of whether they be front or backbenchers;senior or junior;titled or untitled
Fred Goodwin, Andy Hornby and James Crosby will be laughing their tits off right now. Haaaa hahahahaha.
How d’ya like that youse fuckers. Blaming us for being too focussed on personal short term profit and bonuses and wrecking the banking system.
Now we know who was really too focussed on short term personal gain and instead fucked up the entire UK economy.
Ahahahahahahaha ha ha.
“Fred Goodwin, Andy Hornby and James Crosby will be laughing their tits off right now. Haaaa hahahahaha.”
So we don’t need to look far to find out who spilt the beans on the MP’s expenses then do we!
I’m sure if Goodwin et al had had access to those figures they’d have leaked them long ago. Or perhaps not. For sure they’ve kept their traps well shut about what they knew (and Brown and the FSA) and when.
Let’s just say the official time-lines on that particular breaking crisis are a load of shit.
Crosby won’t be laughing. If that Moore chaps. who he sacked, full evidence ever goes public I’d suggest its open prison time.
Aye, that Moore chap. Didn’t he claim he had some interesting stuff about Brown and the FSA too. What happened to that story? Is Moore still alive?
I hear Moore on the local radio the other week. comes across as some sort of avenging angel type. He took the pay-off from HBOS to keep quiet and then stuffed them by spilling the beans to the Treasury Select commitee, after he consulted his religious conscience. He was quietly menacing, hinting there is more to come…….
To be fair I think Moore was for blowing the whistle on dodgy mortgage self-cert lending but looking at the ongonig HBOS-Lloyds catastrophe it looks like the major financial fuck-ups were being made in their Corporate and Treasury departments. The old Bank of Scotlland bits as opposed to the boring old mortgage bits.
So Moore was right to be worried about the dodgy self-cert stuff but what really broke the bank was the imbeciles in Corporate and Treasury lending billions to errrr ‘property developers’ like that Grant Bovey. Who promptly paid themselves with the cash first and then speculated away to their hearts content with borrowed money.
Still nothing as hilarious as the 2bn quid RBS lent to some Russian to go and buy a mine in Khasakstan or someplace. ANd if I try to open an account I’ve got to bring in my passport. But some fucking Russian rocks up with a glossy brochure and it’s ‘Suuuuure, here, take this 2bn quid…’
Fucking idiots.
It’s Pearl Harbor.
Pearl necklace, more like.
Andrew MacKay is a former estate agent and his MP wife
Julie Kirkbride is a former journalist ……
AND pretty soon they’ll both be “former” MPs
I would rather Skynews headline read “Morley suspended by Balls” than by Brown
Brilliant one!
There is more humour on these pages than in an Irish Joke Book.
Gordon Brown walks into a pub with a pig under his arm and the landlord says “Where did you get that?”. “I won him in a raffle”, replies the pig.
Brown shows the way to Balls after knocking pearl necklace off on Yvette’s Exes.
Not sure it makes sense, but I think you get the picture.
Brown walks into the Drs with a Parrot sticking out of ear.
“How did that happen?” asked the Dr
“It started off as a wart my arse”..says the Parrot.
Mrs B to Mr B – “Darling (pun intended) – I am feeling frisky tonight”
Mr B; “I shall take the necessary action to deal with this problem”
call in a committee
Lets just wait until we have all had an extra deep look into the accounts of McMentalhoon
Here is the skill of the sub-editor:
Mr Brown said that Elliot Morely had been suspended from the Parliamentary Labour Party to maintain the highest standards in public life.
“We’ve go to have the highest standards in public life. Where people have made mistakes where people have done something wrong actions have got to be taken,” he said.
OR
Mr Brown said that Elliot Morely had been suspended from the Parliamentary Labour Party to maintain the highest standards in public life.
“We’ve go to have the highest standards in public life. Where people have made mistakes, where people have done something, wrong actions have got to be taken,” he said.
Substitute “lamp post” for “Parliamentary Labour Party”
Typical Tory sleaze when will they ever learn.
I really don’t know, perhaps the Cabinet should teach them.
The appalling shower of Labour shite currently troughing us all into bankruptcy would appear to stand head and shoulders over rogue Tories when it comes to sleaze. We have learnt and Labour is almost totally corrupt.
Slapping just one MP on the wrist is just not good enough.
When are the police going in to arrest those MP’s and Peers who have stolen public funds and or made a profit.
Why isn’t the TAX man investigating all MP’s and Peers expenses?
QT panel from Grimsby (Hah!) looks prime for a decent bunfight tonight:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/question_time/8044248.stm
I’ll order popcorn and posh pop.
Well at least the catering is sorted……
I see the panel includes Steve Easterbrook, the CEO of McDonald’s UK. That’s handy. I wonder if he will be taking along a pile to job application forms for the others to fill in.
I hope he takes a giant poster with him which they can stick on the big QT screen saying ‘Up to last Thursday I was lovin’ it’
I hope Becket didnt claim for her horse face transplant.
No, just the horse’s arse.
I hope the horse that got her face claimed damages.
Caroline Flint on Sky News in attempting to explain her ‘flipping’ said that the rules had changed 3 times in the last 12 years so was a bit confusing.
I wonder what happened 12 years ago then?
And these shits are supposed to be leading this country,working with complex data,facts and strategies in the NHS,Education,Defence etc and they cannot even understand simple and basic rules that my kids can grasp – execute the lot of them – now where’s that graduate of the Pierrepoint College of Long Drops when you need him?
Hmmm, 1997.
Let me think………
No, can’t think of a thing.
This is all disastrous.
I will never be able to write a believable script ever again.
No, you’ve quite a challenge now, haven’t you? perhaps Sci-Fi might be a more feasible genre?
At no time did I have sex with that man in return for a reduction in my rent.
I am not a rentboy even though I “rent”
I hope that statement clears matters up
How convenient…
MPs’ EXPENSES: Blair’s £43,000 expenses were shredded ‘by incompetence’
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1181415/MPs-EXPENSES-Blairs-43-000-expenses-shredded-incompetence.html
PS. Sorry if posted before, too much here to keep up with.
I wouldn’t have thought it beyond the wit of a reasonable forensic accountant to unravel – given the right access.
…by incompetents, surely?
Mark Thomas serves Speaker with legal papers -
“Lawyers acting on behalf of Mark Thomas served Speaker Martin with legal papers demanding an independent audit and investigation into the scandal of MPs expenses. The audit should examine all claims going back to 1997, not just the last four years, any mispayments or misclaimed expenses should be repaid rather than rely upon voluntary repayment when MPs feel adequately embarrassed and if there is evidence of fraudulent claims then the police should be called in to investigate. MPs should be subject to the same standards and laws as the rest of us.
If Speaker Martin does not launch an independent investigation then Mark and the lawyers will seek a Judicial Review of his actions.”
Andrew is damn saucey man
twice as saucey as a tube (rhymes with lube) of Heinz ketchup and entitled just as much as we all are to steal.
Professional baseball players are well paid and they steal bases all the time and nobody complains. It is one law for those earning a modal salary of $1 600 000 and another for paupers on £64 000 a year.
Mark Thomas has instructed his lawyers to write to the Michael Martin threatening legal action unless a full transparent review is urgently ordered into MPs expenses.
Mark asked the following of Speaker Michael Martin:
* To obtain and publish independent authoritative legal advice & guidance on the meaning of the MPs’ expenses rules, to be consistent with other guidance applicable to the public where similar words are used
* To appoint independent accountants to audit all claims by MPs in the current parliament against the legal advice and guidance obtained
* To consider auditing all claims by MPs back to May 1997, applying consistent principles which would be applied in cases of false/excessive claims against other public authorities or the HMRC
* To explain publicly what sums have been wrongly paid out to members and to set out proposals for recoupment where overpayments have been made, such recoupment to be no more favourable to MPs than the system for recovery of benefits overpayments or income tax underpayments
* To report possibly fraudulent claims to the Metropolitan Police fraud squad for investigation.
The Speaker has 14 days to respond, failing which Judicial Review proceedings may follow.
Thanks Mark.
P.S. Invoice is in the post.
Aha!
What about bringing me back, Armo?
Knowing me, knowing you,
It’s the least I could do.
Hold on – isn’t that Abba?
We in the United Kingdom Nincumpoop Party (YUKNIMP) believe in anything that old has beens or might have beens might vote for.
‘Keep Britain Simple’, — that’s our moto.
Have you noticed you could park a small car in my mouth?
Do people not feel left out here? Every fucking twat seems to be on the take except me. Fucking Lords, MPs, bankers. BUT NOT ME!!!
Anyone got any advice as how to shaft the state for dosh?
Become CEO of Network Rail.
Change your name by Deed Poll, Sir Richard Branson should do nicely.
Fuck off. That’s my scam. find your own you bastards.
Yunno guys
These things happen, lets move on
God once said to me
“Tony, you can do no wrong, what are you going to do to save Britain from that one eyed fuckwit Gordon McMental?”
An Yunno I had to say to God
“Look,yunno even I have my limits, but slip me 5 mill and I will have a try”
Pope sent me the cheque this morning
Fucking result
No i fucking didnt.
Yes you fucking will…
It’s Blackfriars Bridge for you, matey
Oi! What have you done with my money?
He has two eyes at it happens – but one is a civil servant.
Oh dear, how sad, never mind version (Morley? Toasty!)
So – when IS the Balls-Cooper diarrhoea going to hit the fan and spray its turgid particulates into all those murky corners? Only then can we take the necessary legal and constitutional action going forward as we always do heading into the future we’ve mapped out ahead of us etc, etc, etc….. WHEN??
WHEN?
Tomorrow – that’s why Gordon was in his constituency today,to say adios mi amigo Balls.
What a joke our parliament is.
Two Labour peers face suspension.
They should be facing jail but as usual they get to come back to their highly profitable posts as they made a mistake and didn’t steal or make a profit!
Next time they’ll be far more careful not to get caught out!
Peers used to be able to demand a silken rope for their suspension…
Wasn’t it the right to trial by their peers and a sword instead of an axe?
I’ve just had a grovelling letter of apology from my local MP in Hampshire, James Arbuthnot, who was outed earlier in the week.
He’s a dreary bastard and I’d be quite happy to help deselect him.
My MP too and I wrote a stinking letter to him – asked him not to bother replying.
My MP too. Dreary but diligent in my experience.
Then surely he could have mowed the lawn that takes 4 hours to complete – really diligently,rather than give us the bill?
This is all very well but we were promised suicides. Is there not one of these people with a proper appreciation of public entertainment?
Suicides? Don’t encourage them, they’d claim for a trip to Switzerland.
At least it would a single ticket……
Politicide
Remeber you Huhne I know where you live and have the keys to the nuclear button (They may be in my other pants)
I havent used up my MI6 “”Kelly” allowance yet so be careful
You have to ask Barrie Obermeyer first and he’s not being co-operative.
Have been disappointed with Elliot Morley who has always struck me as a decent fella – tho’ must admit having cringed when he cheerfully admitted on the radio that he voted with the Government over the Gurkhas, so he could keep in their good books.
To paraphrase Nye Bevan:
If the Honourable Member is sincere in what he is saying – and he may be, he may be – then if he is sincere in what he is saying then he is too stupid to be an Honourable Member.
Thanks. More info like this please.
I’ve finally remembered who this Morley chap reminds me of. He’s the spitting image of Mr Toad from Wind in the Willows. A career in pantomime surely beckons after the election.
Once he’s served his sentence obviously.
He’s already had a career in panto
Looks more like Jabba the Hutt to me and about as honest
Front end of a pantomime pig, or perhaps a tapir (longer snout)
Saw him on Sky this afternoon. Had a strange scuttling sideways walk – a bit like a crab.
Is he really Rod Liddle?
Never see them together, do you??
I can fully understand Mackay not noticing that he’d spent three months and four accountants working out how to get paid twice as much as he was entitled to, without paying any tax.
It’s the sort of thing that could slip anyone’s mind.
I just can’t forgive his being so fucking ugly.
He’s got a face like an emission of bowel gas in the lavatory of a Madras curry house.
Fancy a 69 tonight darling?
Julie Kirkbride sure knows how to pick them. Her late fiance – Stephen Milligan MP
http://images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_CBwmh8oHONc/SJC6PpinolI/AAAAAAAAAaM/bJm73JjKcKM/s320/Stephen%2BMilligan.jpg&imgrefurl=http://enemies-ofthe-people.blogspot.com/2008/07/198-stephen-milligan-mp.html&usg=__N2ya2H255WvwEkc0leSUFDol6N4=&h=178&w=238&sz=13&hl=en&start=1&um=1&tbnid=Wu8WZH6J4BfTFM:&tbnh=82&tbnw=109&prev=/images%3Fq%3DStephen%2BMilligan,%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26rlz%3D1G1GGLQ_ENUK319%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1
The difference of course is that this time the fragrant Julie is an active part of the scandal. I doubt whether she could even fit an orange in her gob although I bet Edwina Currie could
I’m told it’s a Satsuma and is supposed to use the Tradesman’s.
That’s not all Edwina could fit in her gob.
“Tory Party MP (Eastleigh) Stephen Milligan was found dead in his flat in February 1994. Milligan was discovered tied to a chair, naked except for stockings and suspenders, with a plastic bag over his head and an orange stuffed into his mouth. He was believed to have accidentally asphyxiated whilst pleasuring himself during some kind of grotesque solo bondage and self-strangulation sex act.”
Cheers up a dull CV, I suppose.
Crappy days
CpostV in this case, rather than CV
Jesus wept – that’s incredible about Milligan and Julie!
I assumed he was gay – one lives and learns.
he was set up I reckon. probably found out something untoward and was silenced and discredited. After all Kirkbrides pretty foxy for an MP. Then again perhaps some men prefer self love whilst wearing suspenders and garotting themselves than normal, hot, love with an attractive women……. Then again the wifes out, where did I leave those oranges?……
It’s all lies, I tell you.
Im fucking shitting it
Or as we used to say at Eton “Im looking forward to mandlesbury day”
Then we all enjoyed a circle wank
Well now that Brown, (at last) has suspended Morely, now its time for those ubersleazebags the ‘MacBrides’ to be chopped.
Wasn’t that arse Mackay the one who intervened when the plod fingered Green pity they hadn’t dragged him of.
It wasn’t Plod, it was Jacqui Smith.
Private Eye have been banging on about the risks PFI represent to the tax payer – don’t you lot ever read it – if you did you could be at least a year ahead of the rest
To add “for ages”
PFI is a sort of delayed nightmare. It only happens after the bastards who inspired it have long gone.
Trouble with the PFI scandal is that no-one seems to want to look at it, it’s the elephant in the room.
Indeed – PE have been covering this for eons – unfortunately it is just too dull reading unless one understands the implications.
I’ve been involved in several PFIs and they are a licence to print money for the supplier – government depts have no idea how to negotiate contract changes so everytime a PC or phone moves desks they get charged for it.
Numpties burning our money.
So the Taxpayers Alliance have called in plod and Mark Thomas has served notice on the Speaker. Now would definitely be a good time to exhume Jacqui Smith and ask her if, in retrospect, she might have been better off not calling in the police over the Damien Green affair.
Stupid woman. That’s what she didn’t understand at the time and that is what will totally fuck the lot of them this time around. The whole point of Parliament is that it is above the law. It makes the laws. It is errrrr ‘sovereign’. Or at least it was.
Until Fuckwits like Brown, Smith and the imbecile Martin allowed it to become just another target for their police state.
If Smith and Brown had just taken their beating over a few embarrasing leaks instead of claiming it was a national security issue and running to plod and getting on TV with suitably vexed faces whining about how MPs were not above the law then they’d be able to bat away these embarrassing police investigations.
But because they’re such a pair of fucking idiots they couldn’t see what precedent they were setting and where it might lead. They really have no understanding of Parliamentary history at all do they.
And the same is true of their idiotic ID card scheme and their idiot NHS database scheme and their idiotic suspension of double jeopardy, right to silence and 42 day detention without charge. I’ve no idea why they want such things in the first place or what they think they will achieve but I do know they haven’t thought it through for what some bastard will want to use ‘em for in the future.
Utter economic, constitutiona, legall and moral fuck-wits.
England 184-1 at tea.
Spot on (again).
Apart from that, they’re doing a grand job.
Jacqui Smith is the best Home Secretary ever and you are just having a go at her because she is a woman.
Here’s 10 quid – go buy yourself a movie.
Looking a the dogs salad that you have in England today, i am not sure why you keep sing about the work cup and the world war, I think you lost match to Scotland!
Still, beats losing half your country to Poland.
We’d never win a “work” cup
Is a dog’s salad like a gorilla salad?
Or is that just a German thing.
Did someone mention Germany sexual practices?
NO
#308:
Do they involve large sausages?
Give me a baton any day…
BBC Radio 5 concentrating on Tory MP not Liebour scumbad or dodgy Liebour Peers. No bias there then.
Sorry – you expected any different? Orders have been issued from the bunker: Take the heat off Nulabour.
I don’t think the bunker has to give orders. The BBC wags its tail in anticipation.
For 15 minutes at the start of Drive the BBC attacked the Tory MP who has had to resign. 3 seconds was given to mentioning the sleazy Labour Peers (only referred to as ‘Peers’ and not Labour) and the suspended Labour MP not menioned at all.
Luckily we have Sky News to tell us the facts.
What’s the difference between SHuhnehorpe and Bracknell?
About £125,000.
I suppoase you’ll be out of a job when the communication allowance is cut ?
Where’s your exposition on Uddin you useless lazy fallen petal?
I have sent it to an external inquiry by thoroughly independent body who will report back and tell me if she has followed the rules because I am shit scared of taking a decision for myself ………………..
Brr This Gordon A Carat (Sic ) Nib I Op To
We need to call in Jeffrey Archer to clean up this mess.
As a sum of £2000 is known as an ‘Archer’, I suggest that the amount of £1.7m be known as a ‘Hoon’
Im off to Weston to SURF, I’ll pop in and see him.
Yeah maybe he could get all the sex-workers to go on strike, Christine Keeler II sort of thing…
The tories are ahead.
Conway’s £500,000 got them off to a flyer.
But Labour’s trying hard, and Copper/Balls might well swing it when it breaks.
Lib dems are crap of course.
Add in Hoon’s £1.7 m
Rt Hon Francis Maude MP
Shadow Minister for the Cabinet Office and Shadow Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster
Won’t pay anything back.
Do you change hands on a regular basis to avoid asymetric muscle development?
How often do you return to Specsavers?
Does that acne cream help?
The Penguin
David Miliband won’t even pay for a pot plant – so what is HE smoking?
Foam or gel?
Andrew MacKay MP, Julie Kirkbride MP 8 years double ‘additional costs allowance’ admitted on television, probably will cost them at least £141,000.
Bracknell and Bromsgrove, massive majorities, archetypal Conservative insiders. Both of them spectacularly dim.
Arrghh! thur’ll be some frothing an’ ragin’ in Bracknell and Bromsgrove tonight.
sigh
Yes, yes, whatever. But to the point – foam or gel?
MB will your NuLab mates no let you outside to campaign because you put people off or are you just afraid of meeting real voters ?
Then sack the bugger, withdraw the whip from him, deselect him from his constituancy, and then presecute the hoon for every penny he has filched – and no nice “country club” prisons for these peoiple when they are sentenced.
Alan Duncan MP
Shadow Leader of the House of Commons
Will pay back £5,000
Lords Truscott and Blackburn will be suspended…..preferably from a great height.
That’s it, sir
You’re leaving
The crackle of pigskin
The dust and the screaming
The yuppies networking
The panic, the vomit
The panic, the vomit
God loves his children, God loves his children, yeah!
Does that really get to the bottom of it?
Master Baiter your exactly like your party, wagging a socialist finger, always telling us whats best, pointing the “Class Warrior” finger.
Was Che not born with a silver spoon in his mouth?
Not many people of his time could afford to take time out of Uni and travel the South Americas.
Socialism is envy guilt and greed built on the hopes of the vunerable to line your pockets.
Just take a look at Nu-Labours “Millionaires” row, and ask yourself how much of that did these people of the “working man and women” make legally?
Theres poo in all houses, but dont throw stones in glass houses.
Now f**k off to China, they have the Socialist dream you so crave.
Burma would be better… great place for a social conscience, lots to be done.
Has anyone thought that the reason there’s no Balls & Cooper revelations is because matters could be subjudicy
Juicy subjecty
Why can’t we have big, interesting, exciting thieves in power, like Berlusconi*? He wouldn’t bother getting out of bed to pinch £16,000.
*Not the Italian statesman but another unrelated person.
This has probably been noticed and commented on before, but have you noticed how Lord Mandelson looks just like Mrs Tweedy in Chicken Run?
It seems appropriate somehow as they’re all running round like chickens with their heads cut off – or in imminent danger of it.
But where IS Fondlebum exactly ? Is he in hiding ?
I doubt he’s in a hen house
A yacht or hotel in Greece, I think – unless someone can demonstrate otherwise. There’s a little conference going on:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article6283373.ece
I found my HORSE
He was in the Palace of Lord Fundelbum ….TROUGHING WITH HER LADYSHIP…
birds of a feather I suppose…
In South Africa with Archbishop Holiness YOUTUTU…
Channel 5 newsanchor Tom Tucker does it for me….so to speak. Things can only etc.
http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/familyguy/images//6/67/243333_height419_width419.jpg
Andrew MacKay he’ll help Cameron sort out the EU!
As Mr Cameron’s senior Parliamentary adviser, it was Mr Mackay who was despatched to Strasbourg last year to deliver the party leader’s tough new demands for transparency over their expenses.
tee hee
That is a pretty frock you’re wearing today
youve posted this fact of the day before on this blog. Have you got Alzeimers or are you just a repetitive prick?.
Both.
Both
I think you have posted this before. Do you have alzeimers are you just a repetitive prick.? Is it habit forming being an asshole for a living?.
MB
why don’t you shave your head , get tattoos and wear Doc Martens that way you’re sure to pick up more votes.
Oh calimty ~ when will it all end?
Classic Peter Allen on Radio 5. It just shows what a f**king twat he is.
Interviewing that man who is giving the profit from his house to charity Allen sneers that “You have to charge people more for goods originally to make money don’t you?”
Yes Allen it’s called capitalism. The fact he didn’t get it, the fact he sneered just shows what a bunch of left wing Communist twats the BBC are.
How would anyone know at the BBC about profit? 3.5 billion a year Allen probably on a very fat six figure salary and he doesn’t care that people can go to jail for not having a TV licence.
Peter Allen is typical of the BBC, none of them have ever had a real job.
Your analysis is correct, but it’s not even capitalism he’s sneering at – it’s trade.
It was the idea of the free market that Communist Allen didn’t understand. Then again what does the BBC understand about the free market?
Or if they did have a real job or different views, it was “re-educated” out of them once they started sucking on Aunty Beeb’s fat, bulging tax-teats.
I think the BBC just attracts untalented losers.
Paxman
Marr
Toenails
Pinhead
Peter Allen
Nicki Campbell
Victoria Derbyshire
Those are just a few that come to mind.
Toenails started off as a tory – but that’s not the way to get promoted at Al-Beebja
You forgot Creepy Crick The NuLab Dick.
*
PETER AND ANITA IN A SOUNDPROOF BOX
PETER CAN KNOT GET EGNUFF OF ANITAS* LARFF
PETER IS SO SMOOTH AND URBANE
TELL US THE TIME, PETER THE PARQKINGMETER
TELL US THE TIME AGAIN
Yes Michael Prick, the man who has more grease on his hair than that a 60′s rocker
Just seen McMental announcing Morley’s fate on the BBC at some press conference; he randomly wanders around, who the fuck told him to do that! The man has no idea about anything, his presentations are getting worse and worse.
McTwat employed some EX BBC bint to try to give his image a boost (can’t remember her name but she’s a typical helmet hair female beeboid). So she told Gordon to SMILE more and be more animated.
Unfortunately the fat one eyed twat hasn’t worked out that he’s supposed to move and smile when appropriate not randomly.
He just looks like an even bigger tool. Funny that the BBC used to rip the piss out of George Bush for being a moron, well McShit is far far worse.
But George W was a Republican and Brown is a Royalist!
His presentation is irrelevant. It’s his substance that is so unspeakably inept and clueless. Has he ever had anything to offer anyone apart from intimidation by his goon squad?
You were warned,
Milligan, Stephen Milligan, yes that name stirs some memories, former MP for Eastleigh, engaged to be married to Julie Kirkbride MP but ended up well…. so she married Andrew MacKay MP.
Yuck!
The PR is going to be disastrous.
Conservatives are so thick, they can’t spin a washing machine.
The Thick of It…. precisely
Shouldn’t you be out there fighting the B N P or have you given up on all your seats already ?
I think he’s a closet BN P-er. Note the combination of socialism and frequent lapses into hate speech when over-excited.
Memo to self. Steer clear of that Julie Kirkbride bird. She’s a bit of a fucking Jonah.
England 239-1, Cook 109 no, Bopara 81 no.
Please use your wit and wisdom and say something to help me Mr Master Baiter.
Elliot, you need to be thinking of a new career in pantomime. You are God’s gift to the role of Mr Toad.
That role belongs to John RAC Maples, Poop, Poop!
You didn’t help us Mr Master Baiter, shame on you.
Come on you labour fucks, where are the suicides you promised us? Can’t you even do that right?
Surely the real star is Mole?
Minekiller,
Oh Labour can’t do suicides properly. Look at David Kelly. What manner of botch-up was that eh?
“you were warned”. prick. stuff the PR for the Tories I’d concentrate on the shitstorm awaiting your lot. and it is going to get much much worse in all sorts of the ways.
You’ve got to hope that Balls-Cooper are at least on a par although since I believed they were already warned off something similar a few years ago perhaps they’ve not stood on that particular landmine again. Mind you they are as thick as is humanly possible without actually dying due to forgetting to breathe so you never know.
I remain hopeful that the Telegraph has saved the best for last and Balls will come a cropper at the weekend.
The thing thats annoying me, is how is what Morley did any legally different than what Blears and Darling have done really. Moley is going to be used as the initial scapegoat but others are just as bad and being treated with kid gloves.
all guilty-put them in chains-then the time honoured hanging,drawing and quartering to follow……burning oil optional due to global warming concerns!
Taxpayers’ Alliance said “We should hear more this afternoon” [from Plod re: MoreLies]
Any update from Victoria St.?
It’s about time this government got a kick in the Balls.
its about time the big3 got a kick, Im votin’ Green, and saving the humble british potato.
tony blair famously claimed for a tv license-probably to watch himself!
apparently in yet another MISTAKE his expenses were shredded…….
these pricks tell us what to do yet couldnt run a piss up…….
TB confessed that he didnt know how to work a pc………
so if the expenses were entered into a drowning st computer they will still be there!
somebody get the Met in there asap!
Exactly, where are Tony Blair’s claims….. the paper copies may be conveniently shredded, but where does the paper trail lead ??????????
The shredding of their expenes is just an opt out for Tony and Michael Martin – the police and IT experts should be able to ‘rediscover’ these expenses….as importantly, most feel they will reveal a lot.
After all the shredding of expenses is only the first act of a criminal….
I have no doubt that the electronic copy will have been overwritten with ones and zeroes too. Very thorough in his mendacity that Tony Blair.
I put all our expenses claims next to the Weapons of Mass Destruction.
Happy Hunting !!
McKay is bent.
Sack him now.
Simples!
My life already, so soon. I see Miliband senior is refusing to pay any of his fiddles back.
Enough of these fiddle schmiddles already!
Enough already!
So soon already!
Big brother asked me should he run for leader of the party. I told him he had no chance. To be Labour leader you have to be a complete prick.
Oink! already. Is troughing Kosher?
Has the fat lady started to sing yet?
I dreamed a dream in time gone by….
quote on BBC r4 PM just now, but a member of the public
“I’m beginning to think that the only honest person to ever enter parliament was Guy Fawkes” !!!
To be serious for a moment, shipmates.
Many MPs say they will ‘pay back’ money that they over-claimed ‘accidentally’, ‘in good faith’, or ‘in accordance with the rules’.
But what mechanism is there to check that these repayments actually happen ? Or that they don’t simply write cheques and then stop them ?
Of course, we could just take the word of honourable members that they have actually done the honourable thing.
And we could also take the Tooth Fairy’s word for it that Santa Claus actually exists.
Quote by a member of the public on BBC R4 PM programme just now
“I’m beginning to think that the only honest person ever to enter parliament was Guy Fawkes” !!!
Well done Telegraph and Guido – Can we have one revelation a day until the next election?
All authority gone.
When any of these oinks poke their heads round the
pig sty door to ask for our votes or tell us what is best for us, and how
much it is going to cost us they are going to be told to f*ck off by the
electorate.
Oh dear what a shame!
When will we get the first Police prosecution?
As soon as 5 bellies spliff can work out which Tory to get the Met Police to arrest.
LoL!!
As much as I despire fucking Bliar and that pig faced bitch of a wife of his, oh how he must be laughing his man boobs off over this.
What gets me is why Bliar had such an incompetent twat like Snot in No 11 for 10 years?
Plus one for the speaker.
Might need two or three – not only to be sure but he is a big chap.
Must be all the lunches?
heads on pitchforks
I wish to make it quite clear, as a means of supporting the economy through this difficult time, that any MP who is deselected or sacked or just plain suspended will be welcome to come and work for us at the BBC, an equal opportunities employer. Their experience and knowledge will be a decided gain for the organisation.
Thank you
The court of public opinion:
http://conservativehome.blogs.com/thetorydiary/2009/05/twothirds-of-tory-members-say-andrew-mackay-should-leave-commons.html
Andrew Porter on News 24 just suggested tomorrows revelation will be as bad as todays. GOD it HAS to be Balls and Cooper, it just HAS to be.
My knees are going to get some serious carpet burns tonight, praying to god…please Lord, I don’t ask for much. I’ll even forgive you for screwing me over on last week’s 100 mil euro lottery. But please, please, let it be Mr and Mrs Scrotum.
Calm down will you.
Mr and Mrs Testes and the Wintertons and Keens will be served up for Sunday lunch.
Sunday Telegraph needs a circulation boost and readers will double if Telegraph put out a leak that roasted gonads will be served.
You’re not Scottish are you? How many times do I have to tell you, If you want my help with the lottery – at least buy a fucking ticket!
Anyone want to come around and watch my £750 TV, (could,nt get the £2,500 one) Damn it!
A cheeky gurl or 2 may join us.
Do you think he claimed for her visa on his expenses?
Pissed myself laughing at Guido saying Limpdick Opec was propping up the bar looking very sad. TOUGH SHIT Opec you deformed moron.
You made a right fucking tool of yourself on Radio 5.
Anyone remember Toenails saying in his blog that this is all just small beer?
Seems a long time ago doesn’t it – also says a lot about his reporting I think.
He was probably told to write that by his masters ie Number 10
He wasn’t reporting. He was just obeying orders.
Well in the context of unemployment going over 2.2 million on its inexorable march towards 4 million and with the BoE rubbishing Alistar (Missing in Action) Darlings growth figures plus the economy being totally, totally down the shitter out through the sewage pipes and bobbing somewhere off Blackpool then our MPs being exposed as a bunch of fucking crooks is, actually, relatively cheap news. Small beer even.
So why not concentrate on the big stories then Nick. Make more noise about unemployment, the BoE trashing the governmnets growth and borrowing figures – indeed the governor actually asking to see the treasuries models because as far as he is concerned their projections are pure shit. Go on Nick. There’s a fucking BIG story.
Run with that.
I remember that. Just like he said on the Daily Politics that the Gurkas thing, before the vote, was small beer and that the GOVT would buy off the rebels. However he wouldnt be covering it as he had more important things to worry about an buggered off to Old Trafford to watch United. Fuckng cretin. He was alright on ITV now he’s so Labour even non partisan people I know notice it.
Elliot Morely’s constituency takes in SHuhnehorpe I just read. Now we know who put the Hoon in SHuhnehorpe then.
AH (C)
Thank you.
Not many people knew that.
Iain Dale is polling for a successor to the Speaker.
Vote for me , you swine.
Is it possible to find one who hasn’t been on the Nelson Riddle?
I do hope, when Mackay’s constituency party meet they hold a PUBLIC meeting for him to get the full blast from ALL his constituents, it will also put the local Conservatives in a good light.
I expect he will resign prior to a public meeting!!!
Dodgy doings in the House of Lords too apparently – the first suspensions since the 17th century.
Lord Truscott just apologised on R4 for being entrapped – the bloody gaul!
New Labour – New Danger.
According to Truscott he “Did nothing wrong, the changed rules are being applied retrospectively, blah, blah…”
Eddie Mair treated him with utter, deserved, contempt.
Yes, I was fully expecting the line to ‘drop out’.
Clearly the BBC aren’t paying future leftie researchers enough.
I plead the Straw Defence….
What ? Decency is not your strongest suit ?
What? Same as the Brown defence, the Balls defence, the Mandelson defence and the Smith defence? Run away and hide?
Guido’s description of Lord Truscott as a real life Alain B’stard is uncannily accurate
You are very rude today England.
So I will be rude to – It is a same that your girls are like the English sausage, very fat!
your beer i warm and you food is very bad especialu upon a Sunday afterrnoon.
I hear mrs Blears is your buty queen
more seriously – I think you need to put Prime Minister Borwn is a dark place, he cuases troube for all of Europe
We agree with your last point.
Unfortunately for you our Prime Minister’s family has always caused trouble for Europe. Did you know his mother was called Eva and spent many years in Bavaria ?
I really don’t believe it, I was remarking to someone just the other day that young German men all sound Gay/Camp, in contrast the older German men bark. Now I see that the campness extends to text as well.
I agree re: the dark place – Europe.
Gordon Brown for President of Europe anyone?
Arry it not funny to joke with a German about the camp! (joke only)
Why not, one of my uncles ended up in in a camp, said that the Germans were okay. The Italians on the other hand, robbed them of everything including their boots. Another Uncle wound up a guest of the Japanese in Burma, now that was a camp that was definitely no laughing matter.
Is 6ft under dark enough?
guess what?
more troughing!!!!!!
how much money is being drained from the serfs of the u.k?
seems that everyone is at it……….
http://globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=va&aid=13578
Anybody on here know any get rich quick schemes? My normal source of funding has been cut off.
I have some skid-mark infested U-bends which need licking clean.
loved your reporting of the terrace Guido , sorry they stare at you , but they worry that they cant bribe you .
I me losing track and these two are a surprise Elliot Morley was pretty fair with famers and Andrew Mckay did a good job , but they have been troughing and by the looks of it stealing .
Kevin madie it up Maguire ?? , couldnt stop laughing nearly as good as michael white been grandad out of the tweenies
I don’t think you should get your hopes up too high about catching Cooperballs in this net.
I suspect little Yvette has steered her little car very nimbly through all of this, and has probably tried to be squeaky clean. Big Eddie has only been an MP since 2005, maybe not long enough to get too serious a taste for troughing.
The sad thing about this is that if Big Scrotum emerges as squeaky clean he’ll be first in line to Snotty Mcmental’s throne when the men in white coats cart him off.
Mind you, would the public want to vote for a sneering, school bully lookalike? Probably not. Could be the best thing that could happen.
Not as sad as you think – Labour are even more fucked with that oily little shit at the helm
Will Balls/Cooper be the icing and the cherry on the cake? Oh, I do hope so.
Just been reading an article, published today, in the Pontefract and Castleford Express about Yvette Cooper. She gave them a statement saying ” Let’s face it , MP’s got it badly wrong …..”
Would someone please post a link for me – sorry don’t know how.
The article finishes with the info that Yvette Cooper claimed £152,660 expenses for the year 2007-2008 – no other financial details.
http://www.pontefractandcastlefordexpress.co.uk/news/MPs39-expenses–Yvette-Cooper.5267421.jp
Thanks
Now I wonder was that the only motive Julie Kirkbride?
http://www.birminghampost.net/news/politics-news/2009/03/03/why-julie-kirkbride-wants-mp-addresses-kept-secret-65233-23047368/
She should be fearing for her safety now that she’s been found out to be a porker.
i’d pork her.
I’d have thought just sending their ‘fan mail’ direct to the HoC would do the job.
Julie Kirkbride is well remembered as a young Telegraph journalist in Parliament for wearing minimal leather minis
don’t set me off I’d just calmed dow after seeing the lovvvly Julie on the Box…Bromide Nurse…
Right that’s it then.
I’ve had enough and I’m forming a new political party “The Hoon Party”
Any Manifesto ideas please let me know.
VOTE HOON GO RED
I listened to Flint chanting the latest mantra ‘I followed the advice I was given’. ha fuckin’ ha. Well, here’s some advice – jump off a cliff.
No way is that woman climbing on me for a jump.
Question to Money Box Live.
I don’t have a mortgage, but can I still claim expenses against it as if I did?
“This is an interesting one and we’ve had quite a few queries along the same lines – Mr M.P. of Westminster says “I have recently married well actually it was a few years back .Both myself and my wife own properties on which we have mortgages on which we pay interest.Is there anyway that we can maximize our tax and allowances.My wife is employed by the same employer ?”
Our experts reckon that if you both retain the properties and your wife registers your property as her second address and you do a similar exercise with yours that you could maximize your tax and allowances.Don’t forget that you can claim these allowances back to date of marriage up to 6 years although we belive there is special dispensation to actually claim another 3 years on top of that given what you state as your current employment but you should run this via your Employers Payroll and Allowances Department first !
Now another listener – a Mr B of Fife has e-mailed to say that he has roughly 300 workers who are self-employed for tax purposes and believes that some of them have been claiming allowances in error via the tax system which he feels as their “shadow” employer he may be personally liable for any allowance overpayments………………”
Can’t imagine Brown is looking forward to the next meeting at Buckingham Palace. Countery in disarray. PM with no authority. Speaker with the confidence of the House lost. Morley heading for a spell during Her Majesty’s pleasure.
Tee-hee
wot no spelchunk on your pc?
HMQ is very subtle. She’ll simply make polite small talk:
“We’ll, it’s been nice knowing you, Mr Brown. Hand your pass in on the way out please.”
on R4 this morning they said the only way you get rid of a speaker if he doesnt want to go is chop off his head via Royal Warrant. A Technique developed by Charles the second. Over to you Maam.
Maybe he could clean the sunroof on the Royal helicopter?
Having spoken to several who have had audiences with her, the reports I have suggest that actually she can be very outspoken. Learned that from her mother, I believe.
Tut, tut. Surely “audience *of her”?
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/05/14/hugger_licence/
OT but have you seen this?
Jesus wept. Just go and fuck up the online market in the way they’ve distorted the TV and radio market in UK for years.
I love the comment, “I don’t believe in a free ride.” – from a beebzoid of all people.
Could you please divorce me Geoff,even my gyney is saying
” Mrs Hoon please get your feet in the stirrups
I need to give your Hoon a thorough examination just to make sure that there are no iregularities”
Then the Hnoo bursts out laughing
What a Huhne
Poll result is in (at least partly):
http://conservativehome.blogs.com/thetorydiary/2009/05/twothirds-of-tory-members-say-andrew-mackay-should-leave-commons.html
Balls & Cooper’s constituencies are to be merged at the next election:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Normanton,_Pontefract_and_Castleford_(UK_Parliament_constituency)
I may soon be made redundant, but I don’t have any qualifications.
I think I might be good as an Outreach Coordinator, or something in Care in the Community. How do I find training for such jobs?
Talk to your kids. It’s what they learn about instead of science now.
There are some provisional poll results at Conservative Home. Something in algorithm preventing a direct link. Two thirds think MacKay should go to spend more time in Provence.
May I just point out that I am a hnoo
Those naughty men at Guido have banned the H word with an algorithm thingy
Oh Im sorry but Im such an old bugger I may have got that all wrong
When are you gonna give me back that two grand you stole from me you fuck?
DONT BE SO MIDDLE CLASS
Why, whenever i see a reporter on College green,as the patch of grass just across and up from parliament is called i think,there is never a single protester in sight? I don’t expect a 1,000,000 man march,but i would have thought at least 1 person would turn up.
Your Joking.
The fucking place is rammed with Tamils for the last few weeks on the green and they have also been jumping off Westminster Bridge and scaling roofs.
I drive through regularly and its a fucking nightmare.
At the risk of sounding ignorant I don’t know what the Tamils think we can do about it so can someone please tell them to Fuck off and let that part of London get back to normal, you’ve made your point boys.
If we do decide to protest we won’t be allowed within a half mile of the place (Anti- terrorism laws you know….)
The real fucking terrorists are inside – economic terrorists.
I would have gone but I had a pizza in the oven.
I am going down tomorrow to protest – will have my own personal kettle all to myself and 25 Special Patrol Thugs to beat me to a pulp.
You will see it happening behind the reporters on College Green as they discuss Ball’s revelations.
Douglas Hoggs paying 2000 back. Just hours after he said he wasnt much fussed by Cammo’s commitee. Ha ha ha ha.
If Typhoo put the t in Britain, who put the Huhne in SHuhnehorpe?
Apoligies for plagurism to John Cooper-Clark
No apology to trougher Morley and New Liars.
I think it was the devine Oscar who once said
“Can I stick it up your bum chum?”
Unlike the current bunch of perverts that masquerade as our representatives at least Oscar paid rather than charged for fucking people up the arse.
Simple answer. Withdraw iplayer, and save a whole bunch of BBC budget to boot.
Whatever they’ve paid back has already been spent and more
160k on a Twitter Tsar
Imagine the next State opening of Parliament.Will they dare to put it on TV? All the pigs dressed in ermine and the Commons troughers all snuffling around. What a sight – poor Queen – the stench will be awful.Will anyone be able to remember when politicians were respected?
*
*
*
*
OLIVER KROMWELLS* KAN
WEN KROMWELL THE VAIN
TCHOPPED OFF KING TCHARLIES* HEAD,
HE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT IT MEANT
THAT THE KING
IS
DEAD
AND THAT ONLY A KING
KAN TATQKE ANUTHER KINGS* HEAD,
‘COS WEN THE KING IS DEAD
THE QKROUWN GOES ON
TO THE NEW KINGS* HEAD
KROMWELL THE VAIN,
DID KNOT WANT TO BE KING,
BUT LAUD PROTEQKTOR OF THE KOMMON WEALTH
INSTEAD
HE TCHOSE COLLEQKTIVE RESPONSIBILLITy WITH
PARLIAMENT ASSEMBLED,
INSTEAD OF KARRYING THE QKRAOUWN
ON HIS OWN BODY AND HEAD
IT WAS KNOT LONG
BEFORE KING TCHARLIES* QKRAOUWN,
WAS GETTING TARNISHED AND BRAOUWN,
FROM BEING LEFT LYING AROUND
SO SOON ARFTER KROMWELL THE VAIN WAS DEAD,
THE KOMMON PAUPERS
TO PARLIAMENT SAID,
DU PUT THAT QKRAOUWN BAQK UP ON
THE RIGHTFUL KINGS* HEAD
SO THE NEW KING GOT QKRAOUWND,
BUT HAD TO SIT SILENT WITHOUT HIS AXE,
AS PARLIAMENT RULED AND KOLLEQKTED,
THE QKOMMON WEALTH IN
TAX
BUT THAT WAS THEN
AND THIS IS NAO,
AND THAT OVER THEIR
IS A JUST BRAOUWN KHAO
WHEN KROMWELL WAS BURIED,
SUMONE HAD TO KARRY THE KAN,
THE TRAITORS SURTCHED AWRAOUWND
AND THEY FAOUWND THE VERY MAN
AND KROMWELLS* SUCCESSOR
WITH THE BLO~DRIDE HAIR,
DGJHUST STRAPPING HIMSELF NAO
INTU THAT AMERRYKAN ELEQKTRIQK
BLAIRCHAIR,
IS
IN THE WAYQKE OF LAUD BLAIRMONTY,
THE HUMBLEBRITISH PLEADER OF THE HUMBLEBRITISH PEYPULL
BROWN KING
Corpus GAWDN BRAOUWN
*
WHEN KROMWELL THE VAIN
CHOPPED OFF KING CHARLIES* HEAD,
KROMWELL WAS NEITHER KING NOR KNIGHT
AND WHEN KING CHARLIES* QKRAOUWN
FELL OFF HIS DEAD HEAD,
KROMWELL BECAME
A KING BY RIGHT
BUT RED KINGS* QKRAOUWN,
OLIVER CROMWELL TURNED DAOUWN,
AND SO KROMWELL THE VAIN
WAS KROWNED KROMWELL THE BROWN
AND A BROWN KINGS* KOPPA CROWN
KAN BE TAYKEN BY A BLAQK KNIGHT IN RED,
JUST AS A BLAQK KNIGHTS* HEAD
CAN BE TAYKEN BY A RED QWEEN IN RED
Now that Mackay’s dealt with, we can move on. There’s going to be two more deselections shortly; look at : Those Dangling Balls
Apparently, The DT is about to “shed light on MPs who are married to other MPs”.
Bring it on
Sack the lying thieving twat without delay.
Not complicated is it?
Don’t worry whatever muppet candidate you put forward is going to be elected. Tip: just make sure he/she is a local.
About 30 years ago, I was employed by a very large and successful financial organisation who sent me to a far corner of Northern Ireland ON A SUNDAY (so I could start my paid hours nice and early on Monday). I arrived at the hotel too late for dinner so bought a (delicious) sandwich at the bar for 50p. Subsequently I claimed for the sandwich and the claim was rejected (“the company does not pay for snacks”). When I protested, I was told that if I had wanted to eat dinner and to claim for it, I should have taken an earlier flight (on my unpaid time). I want the guy who dealt with my claim to be appointed Head of the Commons Fee Office. (Well he might be dead, but someone like him at least).
*
PEOPLE WHOO LIVE IN GLARSE HAOWZEZ
SHOULD KNOT THROW GLARSEWEEDGJANS
Suitable name
How about GADARENERGATE?
What (oh sod it – I’ve forgotten her name now, but I’m talking about his wife)sees in that supercillious git McKay is way beyond my comprehension. Or Cooper in creepy Balls, for that matter!
I hear the Queen is getting a bit miffed about it all. Not before time; I was beginning to wonder what she’s for?
*
FOR THE TIME BEING
INIT M8*
why do MPs need 63k salaries when the goverment has decided that you only need £60.90 to live on
what a lovely person I am. my darling brother never has to work now I`ve conned the plebs in Bromsgrove and Andrew has sorted out that twit Cameron`s office