May 12th, 2009

Dave Orders Shadow Cabinet Pay-Back

Guido has just got back from a hastily* called Tory press conference, where we were told by Dave that he has ordered:

rsz_pay-it-back… Michael Gove will pay back the £7,000 claimed for furniture.  Oliver Letwin will pay back the £2,000 for the pipe under his tennis court.  Andrew Lansley will pay back the £2,600 for home improvements. Alan Duncan will pay back nearly £5,000 for gardening expenses. Francis Maude will no longer claim any money for his second home in London. And neither will Chris Grayling. Theresa Villiers – the only London MP in the shadow cabinet – will follow suit later this year. I’ve also dealt with some of the smaller, but nevertheless significant, claims that have caused concern, whether that is Ken Clarke’s council tax bill in Nottinghamshire or David Willetts’s electrical bill. George Osborne will pay back the cost of a particularly expensive car journey. And I will pay back the only maintenance bill I have claimed in eight years as a Member of Parliament.

Is this enough? Burglars don’t get off by giving back the telly.  Guido wants to see the small print, are they really going to be allowed to keep ill gotten gains because they were in the past?

*So hasty that Guido came late, straight from the pub dressed in traditional national dress – an Ireland rugby shirt. Guido naturally sat down right in front of Sir Michael White.


  1. 1
    Sir William Waad says:

    By hook or by crook I’ll be first in this book!

  2. 2
    Mark says:

    It was a good start. Cameron didn’t suggest it’s the end. Meanwhile on BBC News Polly is laying into Brown for letting Cameron take the lead.

  3. 3
    nell says:

    He’s wrong footed the Labour crew again who are stilll dithering about what to do. Well done Dave!

  4. 4
    Tony Blair says:

    Now is the hour.
    Time for piano wire and lamposts.
    These Hoons make me puke

  5. 5
    lololol says:

    Just come in,listening to polly oh dear she’s definatly out of love with snotty

  6. 6
    Jacko says:

    I have to say I’m with Cameron on this, its a good start.

  7. 7
    Swiss Bob says:

    Compare and contrast Harman’s speech outside the HoC just before Dave’s speech (YouTube for expats). Game, set and match Herr Braun.

  8. 8
    Mark Littlewood says:

    It was a better stance than that taken by Brown. But no real punishment for anyone as far as I can see. Pay back the cash and let bygones be bygones. Not convincing.

  9. 9
    Fanny by Gaslight says:

    He is setting the precedent, and wrongfooting McBroon. That’s probably enough to protect the Tories from the worst of the publicity. Especially if the Balls/Cooper revelations are sufficiently grandee-ish.

  10. 10
    mitch says:

    This doesn’t really make sense.

  11. 11
    One-eyed snotgobbler says:

    Definitely a good start from Cameron and this was about all he could do without appearing to be making rash decisions or jumping in without properly assessing the situation.

    I hope to see more too and he did hint that there would be further announcements coming but I was also encouraged by the anger that he showed about the actions of his MPs who had let him, colleagues and grassroots members down.

    Also, respect for bitchslapping that arsehole from the Mirror!

  12. 12
    Anonymous says:

    Brown is in the deep do do over this – either way he looks weak and being led to do the “right thing” by Cameron who looked Prime Ministerial to-day. Brown needs to act now tonight before PMQs or he’s finished particularly if Clegg issues a similar statement along the lines Cameron has tonight.

    Re abov:Polly must be really really upset she absolutely flayed Brown live on BBC News – a “ditherer” – “unanble to avoid the elephant traps in his path and then dives into one !”

  13. 13

    They let you in the press conference?!

    Given that they were in the rules and approved then for these extravagant things from tories that are getting paid back this is enough.

    For the flippers who lied about where their main residence was to at least the taxman or for their expenses – that is fraud and they should be jailed.

  14. 14
    JM says:

    At least he’s heading in the right direction. Decisive and fast. Unlike GB and Gorbals Mick who are spinning like headless chickens. Cameron is in a position of strength to lead. Brown is not. Therein lies the difference. How do I petition the Queen for a dissolution of Parliament?

  15. 15
    Anonymous says:

    Can I be the Independent member on the expenses scrutiny panel please.

  16. 16
    Boudicca says:

    It was a good enough start.

    He still needs to deal with the Squire-ocracy. There are too many ‘lords of the manor’ in the Tory Shadow Cabinet and Grandees. Multi-millionaires don’t understand the true value of money to ‘ordinary’ people – which is why they think a £64,000 salary is chicken-feed.

    Cameron needs Tory MPs who come from normal (or relatively normal) backgrounds and who understand that actually £64 grand plus perks is quite a good income.

    It’s time Ancram, Maude et all were dispensed with.

  17. 17

    Yeeeeeha! As I said here: I Bloody Well Told You So

    The filthy-rich Tory “Grandees” could easily afford to pay back the money, whereas the Labour “Flat-Flippers”, whose money is tied up in devalued flats and plasma TV’s, could not. A great opportunity to score points, eh?

    Expect Cameron to go on the attack now: “We’ve cleaned up: why can’t they do the same?”.

    Expect Brown to vanish off the face of the earth for days on end.

  18. 18
    More Tories Please says:

    It is pie in the sky to hope that every penny will be paid back because a lot will be quite valid using non-parliamentary criteria. The very least we can hope for is that everything going forward will be crystal clear and squeaky clean.

    David Cameron is leading the way out of the mire leaving Gordo et al wandering around in circles saying that “something must be done”.

    LibDems next?

  19. 19

    I thought Cameron did well. He acted swiftly and decisively and I think that the solution is a good one.

    Local constituencies can still deselect MPs if they feel minded. I note that although the stories on Labour MPs appeared well before those on the Tories, dear old Gordo has still not done much.

    I think Cameron comes out of this much better than Brown.

  20. 20
    Old Tory. says:

    … point taken, but it is good to see Dave being firm. We need someone who has the balls to say it as it is. Not to hide behind spin. Any Tory who does not toe the line should be out. Tebbit wants to get in line too. Don’t listen to him. Vote Tory!!

  21. 21
    Gordon Brown's manky eye socket is actually his anus says:

    They’d better pay it all back!

  22. 22
    Steve says:

    Well done Dave, a good start, probably the best he can do given the situation. He was furious this morning and I think now that his old guard know he means business.
    Gordoon Hoon and Hattie on the back foot yet again…

  23. 23
    John Puxty says:

    We need a new system of government which excludes these sorts of bastards. It’s no good just paying the money back, they should be kicked out of parliament for their fraudulent lifestyles.
    We need to start again. Dishonest people in power leads to dishonest, self-seeking & hypocritical policies.
    If they pay back this lot of dishonesty, they’ll just find another way of dishonestly appropriating money.
    How long before we find a government minister who gets a lottery funded swimming pool in his back garden?

  24. 24
    Simon the Pieman says:

    To be credible heads should have rolled. Old-fashioned? Well maybe…….but a cop-out none the less. However, makes Broon look even more pathetic if that is possible. BNP and others must be enjoying this

  25. 25
    Concerned Citizen says:

    Look fellow conspirators…

    This whole story is not about “wriong footing” being the “fist” etc…

    It is about a fundamental breakdown in Democracy which has destroyed the trust of the People in their Parliament and Government at the same time…

    I think Cameron is being a clever PR man but he is not really being “root and branch”,which is necessary…

    Either MPs behave honestly vis à vis their electors or they must GO…

    Paying back is like the Shjop Lifter saying “Let me go, I will give it back to you” when picked..

    What a joke…

    Once caught stealing OUT…

    Otherwise this climate of sleaze will continue for YEARS…and no one wins with that…

  26. 26
    Silent Hunter says:

    Whilst we’re at it – can we also make sure that Speaker Martin(ette) is investigated by the police for misappropriation of public funds for taxi journeys and 4 day, all expenses paid (by the taxpayer) trips for him and his wife to far flung, sunny, Arab climes?

  27. 27
    Piers F-D says:

    Yep, it’s good stuff from Cameron and has left Brown floundering. Now Guido, just try – and I know it will be hard – to give Cameron some credit for this. It might even make you feel better.

  28. 28
    Dr Nuts says:

    Have you got nothing better to do than to sit and wait for a new article to appear, and try to be first to post?

  29. 29
    dr. sipp says:

    my idea–but its too complicated for current gov

    pay every MP 85K

    drop expences

    gords idea–daily allowance –sign in every day—is he INSANE

  30. 30
    Wholly, Necessarily and Exclusively says:

    If they’re going to start giving back the flat screen tellys, can I have one? I’m a deserving tax payer …

  31. 31
    The Baronessleaze says:

    Too little – too late.

    The MPs test the saying “poor people steal* while rich people take”.

    *poor people steal and go to jail. rich people take and if caught, at the very worst, just need to pay it back.

    This is unacceptable – anytime and anywhere (except perhaps in America).

  32. 32
    Concerned Citizen says:

    It was “spun” that he can cleaned up the Tory MPs expenses claims A YEAR AGO…

    And then he is “appalled” to find out what has been going on in hos own Party..

    Does he have any control or knowledge of what really gooes on in his own Party ??!

  33. 33
    Premier Gordon Brown says:

    That bastard Cameron has got the better of me once again…tell that wanker in the I.T. Department to bring me a couple of Twin Bin Hewlett Packards immediately!

  34. 34
    Cup of Tea says:

    Alan Duncan is two strikes out: first the bad joke, then taxpayer’s money for “gardening” expenses, which must be lingo for something…

  35. 35
    Martin Day says:

    Labour Labour Labour – Out Out Out! :smile:

    Labour have shown why they are unfit to govern – Brown has “DONE NOTHING” on expenses!!!!!


    Gordon Brown has done very well out of MP expenses just ask Gordon and his wife about the Flat they cashed in at the top of the housing boom! Lloyds TSB certainly were the bank that liked to say yes! :(

  36. 36
    Give me 650 lamp posts and a roll of piano wire and I can fix democracy says:

    Pot Belly Toynbee is a Hoon. How on earth can she really think Liebour scum could get away with changing leader YET AGAIN without an election?

    She and the other helmet haired harridens think parachuting Harman into the job will get them out of the shit. It won’t Polly. Liebour and totally fucked up the Country. Would changing the Captain of the totanic made a difference as it was sinking?

  37. 37
    "Dr Nuts" says:

    Have you got nothing better to do than to sit and wait for a new article to appear, and try to be first to post?

  38. 38
    Anonymous says:

    Well Done Dave.

  39. 39
    Dr Nuts says:

    Can I lay into Brown – I’ll make sure the damage is nowhere visible.
    I’ll kick him in the balls, and kick Balls in the ‘ed!

    Interesting to see that this is a follow-suit to Margaret Moran. I’m angry about her claim – but there again – they have sufficiently moral high-ground about the fact it IS their second homes/castles!

    There should be a requirement to make an apology – using the word ‘Sorry’. This alone will f*** Brown completely!

  40. 40
    Give me 650 lamp posts and a roll of piano wire and I can fix democracy says:

    Er, don’t forget the millionaires in Liebour either. The BBC do.

  41. 41
    The Baronessleaze says:

    I want that post too…. please

  42. 42
    Give me 650 lamp posts and a roll of piano wire and I can fix democracy says:

    I’m ready

  43. 43
    Anonymous says:

    Thank god Cameron has at last shown he has cojones

  44. 44
    Gordon Brown says:

    We are not in this reimbursement/sorry for I have sinned strategy. That might be appealing to Hug a Hoodie Dave but I am made of sterner stuff.

    I and my colleagues did not come into politics not to steal what is due to us.
    Its the right thing to do.

    Fuck hardworking families, they can look after themselves.

  45. 45
    Concerned Citizen says:

    And what did that AH Sir Michael White have to say Guido ?

    Nothing to see move on ?!

  46. 46
    Grayling's big houses says:


    You mean Cameron’s refusal to answer pertinent, probing and difficult questions.

    So why are Maude, Grayling and Villiers not required to pay back their ill-gotten gains?

    If it was wrong to claim for their additional houses, why are they not paying it back?

    Margaret Moran has already agreed to pay back her £22,000.

    But Maude, Grayling and Villiers are not apparently.

    This will all look much less impressive for Dave when the details are teased out.

  47. 47
    A disadvantaged yoof says:

    I’ve just been nicked climbing out of someone’s flat with thier widescreen telly and credit cards. Can I give it all back and say sorry guv I did it but the system was to blame?

  48. 48
    Dr Nuts says:

    Oh my word – how did I get three entries? Including 1 as a reply to an entry – when I only put up the message once?!

    Good Grief!

  49. 49
    Blooper says:

    Brown will announce that Labour MPs will follow suit, except that they can’t afford to as all their cash is ties up in property.

    Brown will use public money to set up a fund to loan these poor Labour MPs the money, so they can pay back the tapayer

  50. 50
    Droopy Drawers says:

    And rightly. Cameron has made a good decision – the ONLY decision. Why has Broon not made his MP’s do the same??

  51. 51

    Oh, those “Do nothing” Tories. What will they get up to next?

  52. 52
    Stuart Bell MP says:

    Pansy Con MPs caving in to Cameron.

    We Lab MPs are standing steadfast with Speaker Mucky Mick against handing over any of our goodies.

    I am interested in Mucky Mick’s job.

    If there is a vacancy………

  53. 53
    Give me 650 lamp posts and a roll of piano wire and I can fix democracy says:

  54. 54
    Culloden says:

    This whole saga provides outstanding entertainment. The detail being published is not really news though – it merely confirms what we all suspected already. Public servants see their expenses as part of their remuneration package. I for one would be happy if all expense claims henceforth were published in full and more stringent rules set for the future. That would stop the rot and allow parliament to get on with some considerably more important business.

    Forget the past. If the South Africans had spent the last couple of decades poring over every injustice ever done in their country, it would have been a disaster. If they can ignore the terrible things done in their country in the interest of rebuilding their nation, then we can ignore these comparatively petty issues and move on to more important things.

  55. 55
    Hefferlite says:

    Fuck me. I was hovering over the refresh button and, stupidly, commented on the last thread. Gutted but congrats to Willy.

  56. 56
    Perry Neeham says:

    Whatever it’s limitations (and it seems to be reasonably comprehensive at first sight) at least Cameron had DONE something.

    Clever political move as it makes the deluded, monocular snot gobbler look ever more hopeless.

  57. 57
    Hugh Janus says:

    I agree. This atonement for their greed is a start but as it stands it isn’t sufficient – at the very least we should see some sackings from shadow posts. As has been said elsewhere – the burglars should not get away merely because they can repay what was stolen. It doesn’t properly reflect the gravity of what’s been going on for some years now. And how will the repayments be calculated? How many years will the longer-serving MPs have to go back?

    The one good thing about it is that it has wrong-footed the slow and lumbering McBust – but I suppose that really isn’t too difficult to achieve, is it?

  58. 58
    Emporer Barroso Communist Leader of the EUSSR says:

    I am completely underwhelmed by DC’s answer to this problem.

    This was potentially a momentus epoc making event for DC – & I think he has blown it.

    He could have sunk Mcmental & his torrid cronies today. Right here, today. But he has barely laid a glove on him.

    He should have sacked at least two of them, & removed another five from the Party.

    That would have put Mcmental in an impossible place with no wiggle room.

    yes, the carnage & blood on the carpet from a few dinosaur Tory grandees may have made a nasty stain for a while, but the rewards for doing so were potentially immense.

    Sorry, my vote stays with UKIP.

    Got anything else in the armoury Dave?

  59. 59
    Give me 650 lamp posts and a roll of piano wire and I can fix democracy says:

    Did Shite have shit all over the end of his nose like normal?

  60. 60
    Anonymous says:

    Physician. Heal thyself!

  61. 61
    Andy Carpark says:

    Indeed we do need to see the small print, GF.

    For example, what is the measure of recovery if they have claimed expenses to the tune of say £2,000 for plumbing or wiring which adds £5,000 to the value of the house?

  62. 62
    Concerned Citizen says:


    But I don’t think any of them “have got it”…

    They seem to live on Cloud 11 and think that “spinning” can solve everything…

    This time they have been caught with their hands in the till…

    No explaining away this time…


  63. 63
    woolfie says:

    A pretty good start. Paying CGT on the sale of second properties is an added benefit to the taxpayer. He has promised sackings if any of the back bench don’t follow suit, so that could be interesting.

    It is time to get rid of Maude, Ancram, Clarke, Letwin,Hogg et al. Some new blood is what’s needed. Bring back Redwood ( clean as a whistle and one of the original 25 that voted for transparency back in 2005) to Head up Economic regeneration. We need a Westminster seat for Hanan and some junior front bench post for Carswell

    Dave, so far so good

  64. 64
    peter carter-fuck says:

    I actually feel a bit sory for Letwin; the two grand really was for repairs to his property, as opposed to building a portico or similar bullshit. The problem was the pipe went under his tennis court, which in the current climate makes him look even more like a Woosterish toff than he does at the best of times.

    I wonder if McSnot puts in a claim for his Clinique? Just a thought.

    Did you ask Sir Michael if he ever got his Mont Blanc back? I’ve been worrying about it for ages.

  65. 65
    RavingMad says:


    couldn’t you have sat ON Michael White?

  66. 66
    Lord Grabbit of fiddling deexpenses upon Tweed says:

    Sorry old boy, why vote Tory? Heath sold us out to the EU (then the common market) Dave ‘Boy Green’ Cameron wants to keep us in. I shall be taking Norm’s advice and voting UKIP.

  67. 67
    Wayne Rooney says:

    It’s easy to wrongfoot a bloke with two left feet!

  68. 68
    Peter Grimes says:

    I know that you are known for your foolhardiness, Guido, but to sit down IN FRONT of The White Queen was bravery beyond the call of duty!

    Watch your backside!

  69. 69
    It doesn't add up... says:

    Perhaps you should study how shoplifters get treated under NuLabour – even absurdly rich ones like these:

    Her son earns more than 2 MP annual salaries PER WEEK – he could bankroll the pay of all the LibDems. She just got let off with a caution.

  70. 70
    RavingMad says:

    here here

    Martin is a joke and should be ousted but it seems no one can….hmmmm????

  71. 71
    Perry Neeham says:

    At least he has done something now, unlike the mentalist.

  72. 72
    Homeless Bum says:

    Duncan’s really going to suffer losing 5 Grand! Will we see him down the soup run?

  73. 73
    Laughing boy says:

    Plus interest at the statutory rate? Currently 8% per annum, compounded.

  74. 74
    Spin Doctor says:

    David Cameron’s actions are receiving positive comments on Sky News.

  75. 75
    RavingMad says:

    yep, dead right, great entertainment.

    all we need is an arrest or two, a sacking and maybe some hanging.

    that’ll make my day.

  76. 76
    caesars wife says:

    Oh er darling might be investigated

    Milliband ups profile with an interesting USA president hero (claims push chair expense was wrong !!) and claims ed doesnt spend much time on planet Labour .

    caesars wife is rather hoping that neither of them get any where the law making section of our country ever again . is milliband a Blairite ?? if so why does he give us the referendum on Lisbon , as Blair promised

  77. 77
    Dr Nuts says:

    As Leader of the House of Commons – Harmon could’ve stated that there was going to be criminal investigations and the Tories responsible would be toast! I’m sure that’s the bit between the lines.

    Love the mis-claimed. Misclaimed = Theft. These people are supposed to be running the country – claim to be smart and competent enough – there’s no misclaim, there’s misappropriation, embezzlement and theft.

    BTW – which has the highest prison tarriff? Can we be entertained by watching them being fed to a tank of piranhas? I’d say sharks, but I think these shysters will be too full of **** to be edible in large chunks!

  78. 78
    peter carter-fuck says:

    Uphill gardening in his case. The bill would have been less, but he insisted on employing fit young Polish lads who had to do the gardening with their shirts off, can’t think why.

  79. 79
    Anonymous says:

    Have you nothing better to do than to sit a post the same comments repeatedly ?

  80. 80
    It's all Balls says:

    If the claims were ‘within the rules’ he cannot force them to repay any money.

    What he can do though, is dismiss them from the Shadow Cabinet if they don’t.

    Over to you Dave

  81. 81
    Self Serving Career MP says:

    So do I. I want to get my claim to the top of the pile.

  82. 82
    Joe Public says:

    Its NOT a punishment at all.

    It’s the same as asking your burglar to put the items back.

  83. 83
    nell says:

    Sorry I couldn’t listen to her all the way through – what a silly trout she is.

  84. 84
    It's all Balls says:

    Do you get expenses?

  85. 85
    Anonymous says:

    Its often the “fairer sex” who wield the killer blow.

  86. 86
    Father O'Blivion says:

    Bless you, my son. That would be an Oirland rugby shoirt with de Guinness stains den?

  87. 87
    Magic_2010 says:

    It’s something. It’s a fucking hell of a lot better than what that Harman crone suggests.

    Will that grease stain Vaz pay back any of his 75 large? Lmao

  88. 88
    Carlos says:

    Indeed, where oh where is the dirt on those two hoons? Surely there’s something to come from the Balls, as it were.

  89. 89
    caesars wife says:

    he thought he was grandad out of the TWEENIES , easy mistake , wanting to please the kids etc etc

  90. 90
    Eric Cantona says:

    So Margaret Moran has repaid £22,000 – that’s good! I see she also has a fourth house in Spain and has upset the Spaniards with her arrogance.

    But what about Darling, Hoon, McNulty, Jaqboots, Blears and Vaz who have in my view “obtained pecuniary advantage by deception” on a range of so-called second homes?

    I’m still waiting to see if Brown’s cabal of crooks will “do the right thing”.

    Bit of pot calling the kettle black here don’t you think?

  91. 91
    emj says:

    Sorry, Guido, but you are days behind on all of this. Iain Dale is leading the charge now.

    Any news on the Speaker’s latest woes?

  92. 92
    nell says:

    Where are Balls/Cooper? Tomorrow do you think?

  93. 93
    It doesn't add up... says:

    Now that does not add up! You are a banker or estate agent and I claim my £5

  94. 94
    king chillout says:

    But David Davis is exactly what you want, yet disapointingly even he had his nose in the trough.

    I expected better of him.

  95. 95
    Anonymous says:

    But will Dave pay back the £300k he has made on his 2nd home in Witney as a result of the interest free loan he has had from tax payers since 2001??

    Or was that within the spirit as well as the letter of the rules.

  96. 96
    Anonymous says:

    Labour’s turn*.

    Nice one, Cameron.

    * = Do fuck all, and they’ve lost the initiative anyway. As usual.

  97. 97
    Gooey Blob says:

    The current speaker cannot continue in his post if parliament is to be seen to have cleaned up its act.

    Who are the front runners to replace him? Anybody know?

  98. 98
    Anonymous says:

    Sharks wouldn’t touch them. Professional discourtesy.

  99. 99

    What about all the suspect claims from previous years? Will they be paid back?

  100. 100
    Anonymous says:

    Yes, within the rules.

  101. 101
    Andy Carpark says:

    Sir Michael White looks like a jobsworth railway porter.

  102. 102
    Reds Under The Bed says:

    Polly Toynbee, one of Gordon Brown’s biggest cheerleaders in the final Blair years, talks absolute twaddle most of the time, as we know.

    Yet even Brown himself must now be worried – interviewed just now on News 24, she admitted that Brown is beyond rescue.

    She even contrasted his baleful and wholly opportunistic response to troughgate with the robust action announced by Dave this afternoon.

    Labour MPs now have to ask themselves whether it would be better for them and the party to be wiped out for three generations of Parliament by sticking with Brown – or whether to lessen their losses by getting a new leader after June 4.

    And if they think that any successor will have until next spring before calling an election, then they just don’t get the public mood at the moment.

    The current public anger over troughgate will seem like a Sunday School prayer meeting if they try and brazen it out under a second unelected leader.

  103. 103
    Anonymous says:

    And those being?

  104. 104
    Indigo says:

    Good start by Cameron.

    I have just read Douglas Hogg QC’s letter on the DT web site about his expenses. Please tell Hogg from me that if he cannot afford to be an MP and pay for his housekeeper’s salary, house, car, moat dredging and all the rest out of his post-tax income, then he cannot afford to be an MP. Simple as that. He must content himself with whatever crust he can earn as a QC and must step down and make way for people whose lifestyles are not so profligate that they must have them subsidised by the poor sodding taxpayer.

    I felt a bit sick when I heard what Carrie Gracie’s salary is but then charitably remembered that people in her sort of job cannot have an off-day.

  105. 105
    Sarah says:

    Have a look at the photo of Balls here:


    He doesn’t look like a happy, frolicsome bunny, who hasn’t got a care in the world because of his pure and noble character, does he?

  106. 106
    VotR says:

    Will there be any arrests? Embezzlement was a crime last time I checked.

  107. 107
    Ewanme says:

    Leave him alone , hun . I like his comment .

    E x .

  108. 108
    Hanging judge says:

    My research shows that a roll of piano wire is only about 500ft – 700ft long on average. So unless you are anticipating hanging 650 MP’s with just 1ft of wire you may need to revise your quantity.

    I would suggest at least 20 rolls to be sure, allowing for breakages, extra large neck sizes and dribbling.

    Never mind the cost, you can always claim it on expenses.

  109. 109
    Oliver Letwin says:

    Anyone for Tennis?

  110. 110
    Gorbals Mick says:

    It’s all mine mine mine.

  111. 111
    Self Serving Career MP says:

    V small ones

  112. 112
    pearl necklace says:

    Couldn’t we just daisy chain them?

  113. 113
    Anonymous says:

    I bet he spilled his pint!

  114. 114
    JWil says:

    Guido, You are right that these are not sanctions if they just have to pay back the amounts. First of all, the amounts are piffeling compared to the wealth of these guys, although its safe to say that a capitalist wouldn’t want to lose a penny of his ___ ______ gains. Secondly they need to be suspended from The Commons for a lengthy period of time just to emphasise that what they have did is not acceptable.

  115. 115
    Ed Balls says:

    You wait till you find out what Ian and I have been up to.

  116. 116
    Dr Nuts says:

    I don’t care if their properties are devalued – that’s their problem. They shouldn’t have misappropriated the monies in the first place.

    Thieves aren’t allowed to claim clemency of ‘it’s not worth as much now’ in the court of law. There’s a simple rule – for all… give back what you shouldn’t have claimed, it should’ve come out of your pocket in the first place!

  117. 117
    Anonymous says:

    So they think paying back a fraction of the millions they have stolen from the public purse is going to make anyone vote for any MP again.

    Being an MP is the ultimate job for a crook. You can lie; cheat, steal and murder people in an illegal war that politicians of all parties voted for and get away with it.

  118. 118
    Anonymous says:

    Xmas greetings from the Met police Mounted division.

  119. 119
    P.C. Filth says:

    Can’t guarantee arrests, sir but there might be a severe ticking off, or two.

  120. 120
    Andy Carpark says:

    All right, if you don’ t like that example, what about restitution of capital gains on home flipping?

  121. 121
    caesars wife says:

    ah but what about BeDazzlement !

  122. 122

    I seem to recall a woman found guilty of a £ 200,000+ (presumably merely the visible part of her theft iceberg) benefit fraud a couple of years ago receiving a suspended sentence and then having the temerity to cut a cheque for the £ 200k right there in the courtroom, despite having no visible employment.

    With British justice being the way it is David Cameron’s repayment proposal is probably the only practical one. As for punishing the perps, the ballot box is where that should be done. Most are unemployable outside the Westminster village and will wither and die financially.

  123. 123
    labourwipeout says:

    Top of the bestsellers list is a good old fashioned “who done it ” murder mystery.

    The victim in this case in Gordon Browns Premiership which is due to be finally killed of by one or a number of female suspects.

    In ” Who shot Gordo” the suspects are named as

    Harriet Harman : Motive; Ambitious and positioning herselve for the top job her self.

    Hazel Blears: Motive :Once thought as another leadership contender but recently cast out by Brown after she publicly declared his leadership as being lamentable. Recent developments indicate Blears is being set up by the Brownites over the expenses fiasco.

    Kate Hoey: Motive, publicly humilated in the commons by Browns chief enorcer Michael Martin

    Polli Toynbee : Motive; Once Gordons head groupie now disillusioned and a case study of a woman scorned.

    Watch this space.The female of the species is truly more deadly than the male.

  124. 124
    moralcompass says:

    no Guido. Burglars just get off. The drug addict who burgled me, got himself caught and got a suspended sentence.

  125. 125
    Half eyed Scottish idiot says:

    Perhaps something good will come out of the whole mess if the Tory Squirearchy are brought down a peg or two and some of them are deselected by their constituencies.

    Might make the party a bit more human as Maggie began to do.

  126. 126
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:


  127. 127
    Subversive Matron says:

    The hand of truth might have to pay a visit to botty-land.

  128. 128
    Recruitment Officer says:

    Welcome to the Labour Party dear boy.

    Here’s a shilling, now go round to Dave’s house and nick his bike will you?

  129. 129
    Hanging judge says:

    20 rolls, surely?

  130. 130
    Anonymous says:

    Hogg is one of the “old school” of Tory MPs and the party would be better off without them. I wonder if some of those so called “party grandees” choked into their post luncheon port(courtesy of the taxpayers naturally)when Dave told them they’d gotta pay some of the monies back

  131. 131
    The Voice of Sense says:

    They can “get away” with it, there is absolutely nothing anyone can do to stop it. They have already lost the next election and although they may lose some votes for replacing another leader without giving us any say, its has to be under the number of votes they can gain by killing of the most unpopular Prime Minister in history.

  132. 132
    It doesn't add up... says:

    He can’t say sorry… especially to Kate Hoey

  133. 133
    Anonymous says:

    Is that you Norman ?

  134. 134
    Anonymous says:

    They ave squandered the moneys and cant pay it back

  135. 135
    Cjamesk says:

    “How on earth can she really think Liebour scum could get away with changing leader YET AGAIN without an election?”

    Because Socialists` know best!

    Where have you been for 12years! :)

  136. 136
    Dr Nuts says:

    Try about 2:20 -> 2:35, makes for an interesting listening…

    IF it is outside the spirit of the rules – it is a matter for the MP and the constituency party.

    What no top down chop? That to me sounded so brazen and ‘f*** you’!

  137. 137
    Col. M.T. Kernel (retd.) says:

    GUFFFAWWW, sir.
    Tennis is for woofters. Croquet is a real chap’s diversion of preference.

    Yours, etc. etc.

  138. 138
    Muffin says:

    Can Brown please pay back the £15 Trllion he has robbed of my kids

  139. 139
    Andy Carpark says:

    Douglas Hogg: what a clown. Does he still wear that broad-brimmed hat?

    Just before the debacle of 1997, Private Eye printed a spoof poster for a Western featuring DH wandering along in the gutter, James Dean style, sporting a trench coat and that broad-brimmed hat. Caption:


  140. 140
    Windowlicking expert says:

    Thatcher was a windowlicker.

  141. 141
    Cjamesk says:

    Because it is far more than a “mere” 10K

  142. 142
    Fanny by Gaslight says:

    Cameron cannot suspend them from the Commons.

  143. 143
    Anonymous says:

    Stealing from your employer is gross misconduct and in the real world is followed by summary dismissal without notice. An offer to pay back what you have stolen will cut no ice.

  144. 144
    cutofyourjib says:

    So, what was the question from the Mirror at the press conference and what was Cameron’s reply? I haven’t seen the whole thing and a few people have mentioned this particular exchange as being a feather in Cameron’s cap.

  145. 145
    Anonymous says:

    It is only the Powder store in basements that Guido is barred from.

  146. 146
    High-spirited Estate Agent says:

    Who is going to be the first to hand back the house that they were only able to afford by scamming the tax-payer? I won’t hold my breath.

  147. 147
    It doesn't add up... says:

    Is Macavity a huge dental opening, looking for an amalgam of excuses, or a Nokia hole in the wall?

  148. 148
    soapyballs says:


    Car boot, are you listening Gordon, all the stuff brought back incognito dumped in a field say Hyde Park
    all stall owners wear masks proceeds to me bank details given on identification.

    Forget tampoons
    Oh and kit kats

    Second thoughts might be able to shift tampons

  149. 149
    Anonymous says:

    Sir Menzies Campbell MUST be a clear favourite with all parties or failing that Sir George Young – anyone but “Gorbals” who will survive the “disgrace” and be enobled as The Rt Hon Baron Martin of Kelvinside no doubt

  150. 150
    Scrubs says:

    John McVicar is in with a good chance.

  151. 151
    Gordon ©unt PM says:

    We MPs only ever carry £10 in loose change, for reasons of prudence.

  152. 152
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    I hope that you lamped Sir Mikheil Gobshite
    Total f****** Hoon
    An anus sucker of the lowest order
    Hope that you kicked him in the bollocks as well, then stamped on his neck

  153. 153

    DC showed real steel today. His leadership on this issue was critical.

    Have blogged about it on

    What is interesting is what comes next. Gordon Brown has showed total inactivity to respond to this issue. Now DC has seizes the initiative, Gordon will be dragged grumbling form the corner to announce a similiar response from the Government….or will he. The amounts involved for Labour are far higher and may not be as easy to pay back. When Gordon announces his response, he will be seen as reacting to the Tories.

    Guido, you know this more but whats the Daily Telegraph got planned next.

    Is tomorrow Lib Dems day?

    And when can we expect the infamous Ed Balls & Yvetter Cooper article. Is the best being saved until last?

  154. 154
    Anonymous says:

    Harman knifed Blears live on TV this afternoon in saying rules on CGT and second homes SHOULD be adhered to in ALL cases – Miaow!!!!!!!!

  155. 155
    Grayling's big houses says:

    “Eric Cantona says:
    May 12, 2009 at 5:11 pm

    So Margaret Moran has repaid £22,000 – that’s good!

    But what about Darling, Hoon, McNulty, Jaqboots, Blears and Vaz who have in my view “obtained pecuniary advantage by deception” on a range of so-called second homes?”

    I’d want them to cease their claims and repay too when the Labour party finally gets around to addressing the issues. They appear to be discussing them at the moment and other extrernal investigations are ongoing.

    The point though is that Cameron named people who would be repaying but only that Maude, Grayling and Villiers would be ceasing their claims.

    No mention of repaying.

  156. 156
    Stronghold Barricades says:

    Brown doing his own cleaning?

  157. 157

    Too right. There should be 645 vacant desks in Westminster by now.

  158. 158
    Hefferlite says:

    LO king chillout. You’re expectations were out of this world.

  159. 159
    It doesn't add up... says:

    Has he sold it? If not, there is a best a notional paper gain. I get the impression he’s agreed he’ll pay CGT on it when he does sell, hasn’t he?

  160. 160
    Anonymous says:

    It’s a good start from Cameron.

    As usual Useless Dithering Brown has been left miles behind.

    Let’s not forget though, that at that three-way meeting with Clegg and Cameron a couple of weeks ago, Brown ranted that MPs expenses was only an issue because Cameron kept bringing it up at PMQs.

  161. 161

    Mark is but his mummy isn’t.

  162. 162
    Julian says:

    So the question remains, would they have given back the money if they had NOT been found out?

    I don’t think so.

  163. 163
    Sungei Patani says:

    Whilst I would not go as far as voting for UKIP (a very weird bunch, but their heart is in the right place) I quite agree with Barosso in that Dave should have sacked a few to encourage the others and completely run rings round Gordon Brown (GB).

    It would have forced GB to sack at least Darling, Hoon and Blears – now that would have been an achievement!

  164. 164
    Vote Vote Vote for Jacqui says:

    Excuse me ,but what about JackBoot Jacqui,is she forgotten already.

  165. 165
    Alan Mullet says:

    Nice to see you’re feeling yourself again, Beast.

  166. 166
    Olli-Pekka Kallasvuo says:

    I fucking love that Gordon McMental your Prime Mincer
    (apologies for my Scandanavian accent)
    But the Hunt has paid for my holiday home
    Long may he prosper along with his Hoon Geoff

  167. 167
    Julian says:

    The moat might be a bugger to shift

  168. 168
    Anonymous says:

    Is Hoon going to give back his £1.7 million property empire obtained and financed through expenses?

    Is Darling going to give back his property empire (four properties?) obtained and financed through expenses?

    Is Blears going to give back the hundreds of thosands of pounds profit she made by buying, doing up, and reselling three London properties all obtained and financed through expenses?

  169. 169
    Anonymous says:

    You wouldn’t have dared say that to her face when she was in her prime – she’d have “handbagged” you she was the toughest “man” in Cabinet ! Even Reagan & Gorbachev quaked when she spoke to them and as for Mitterand -he famously said of her “She has the mouth of Marilyn Monroe but the eyes of Caligula!” And Galtieri and the Junta never survived taking her on !

  170. 170
    It doesn't add up... says:

    No dissolution honours for the dishonourables! In fact, the “Goodwin” committee could be quite busy stripping honours. Baroness Udder for starters.

  171. 171
    Harriet Harmanure says:

    Oh! Look at that bright shinny thing over there!

    The government has just acted decisively, according to the BBC at 5pm,

    “The Commons authorities have been asked to go back over MPs expenses and order any deemed “excessive” to be paid back.”

    better than those Do nothing Tories!!

  172. 172
    labourwipeout says:

    ssshhhhhh trying not to spoil the twist in the ending !!

  173. 173
    Dr Nuts says:

    true – he could’ve sacrificed a few of the grandees. In doing so the POLITICAL gain is immense.

    Anyway I’ve emailed the Labour constituency party for Luton South – asking if they’re going to deselect Margaret Moran, and push for a prosecution – as its the rules of the system, laws of the land, and we have to obey them!

  174. 174
    robert peston's speech therapist says:

    There’s nothing wrong with trout!

  175. 175
    Stronghold Barricades says:

    Whilst DC has shown some leadership, and presumably the people in his party were able to pay the money back, I too would like to see the “detail”

    I trust that Guido will do the necessary

    I am a great fan of the publishing expense claims for all to see. Sunlight will indeed be the best disinfectant and quickly open up people to ridicule

    At least we haven’t had “it’s the system” or “within the rules”

    I’d still like to see some resignations, or deselections

  176. 176
    Anonymous says:

    Drunken Labour peer Georgie Foulkes, one of Brown’s gang, goes apeshit over expenses at overpaid BBC presenter live on air this afternoon…..

  177. 177
    labourwipeout says:

    shhhhhh trying not to giv the final twist away !

  178. 178
    David Heathcoat-Amory-Savory-Biscuit-DooDoo says:

    Horse manure, horse manure, horse manure, horse manure, horse manure, horse manure, horse manure, horse manure, horse manure, horse manure, horse manure,

  179. 179
    P.C. Filth says:

    That depends, sonny. What ethnicity are you? Over.

  180. 180
    Anonymous says:

    Well done Cameron.

    Now, where’s Brown?

  181. 181
    Anonymous says:

    Gordo’s done a Macavity.

  182. 182
    Plato says:

    I had to force myself – she could have said it in 30 secs – over 5 mins was torture and all she said was she wanted a ‘process’ to ‘look at claims’ ‘that were outside the rules’ despite the fact that they all were as they were paid!!!!

    What a fuck-wit.

    Cameron’s press conf was excellent – no nonsense, named and shamed, action right now and play by my rules or you are no longer a Cons MP.

  183. 183
    Dicky T says:

    Got any more of those naked catfight videos?

  184. 184
    Dick Cheese says:

    If that young rascal, Gove, has to repay all his ill gotten money, will he still be able to afford to keep using all the beauty products that Sarah recommends?

    Oh no! You don’t think that he might start becoming ugly without them?

  185. 185
    Anonymous says:

    Yeah – hang the cost.

  186. 186
    Mrs T says:

    Sir, You are the window licker

  187. 187
    Master Baiter says:

    No one else will.

  188. 188
    Lord Mandleson of Arsebloom says:

    Oooh big boy – Mount me Mount me

  189. 189
    Anonymous says:

    How many Euro MPs and councillors will the B NP get in June on the back of all this Labour and Tory sleaze?

    It’s almost as if they’re being helped to succeed.

  190. 190
    An ordinary voter says:

    There is now only one course left open to this Parliament to restore it’s reputation and that is that there must be a New Parliament and that means an election where each MP can defend his/her expenses claims with the electorate AND of course Speaker Martin MUST go.He cannot be Speaker of the New Parliament he has disgraced his office

  191. 191
    Seconder says:

    Thirded with knobs on.

  192. 192
    caesars wife says:

    are you playing block busters mr beast !!

    the answer is Mandelson of course .

    however what the question was is far more interesting

  193. 193
    Swiss Bob says:

    Cameron’s question and answer session up on YouTube: Full Q&A except for last boring Indy question (blame YouTube)

  194. 194
    Anonymous says:

    Gove will have to stop sending all that pizza to his psycho friends in Israel.

  195. 195
    caesars wife says:

    in HCL preferably

  196. 196
    Anonymous says:

    Both Channel 4 and ITV seemed to be bigging them up last night, showing the launch of their election campaign without the usual critical comment.

    It’s getting like the Weimar Republic round here.

  197. 197
    It doesn't add up... says:

    Let’s be accurate: Moran has said she will repay. I doubt payment has been made yet.

  198. 198
    Dr Nuts says:

    That’s an interesting point – was it another lie that Bliar figured he could spin his way out of – with ‘it’s not a constitution’?

    Don’t expect Bliar to stick to the election promises.

    Wont put up student fees at university – first thing they did the first parliamentary session after re-election, stipulating the law comes into effect in about 4 years so it ‘didn’t happen during that election run’ and wouldn’t have to be a future election pledge!

  199. 199
    Heads on poles says:

    Guido, I trust you tugged your forelock when approaching Sir Michael White – for it is he.

    The Tories seem to be getting more of a kicking in the media than Zanulabour.
    Situation normal….

  200. 200
    Sir Blogalot says:

    REpay or stand down – it works for me

  201. 201
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Mr Mullet
    I wish that I had a fucking moat to drown the Hoon in,
    that would be so sweet
    Maybe cover his face in water soaked copies of Autotrader whilst smashing his his pods with a hammer and explain to the pompous Hoon just what was coming next, half drown him, then set fire to him.
    Harsh but fair

  202. 202
    Cicero says:

    Thought the government line was that it was the rules – ‘the system’ – that was rotten?
    How come, then, that the solution is now to make sure it was all within the (rotten) rules?

  203. 203
    What Gordon did next says:

    MB you dear little wanker, I thought you had finally crawled into a hole – but not so it seems

  204. 204
    Inspector Knacker of the Yard says:

    Just pass on their names and addresses to me and PC Filth and we’ll ‘ave em banged to rights – collars felt, waterboarding and it’s the Tower for the whole lot of ‘em.

  205. 205
    It came with says:

    Polly twaddle ditches Brown embraces Dave sensation

  206. 206
    Dr Nuts says:

    Harmone – You’ve been a bad, bad boy – you got caught – don’t get caught again!

    Camaron – cough up – it’s only a few grand, and labour will look terrrible if you do – it’s all politics innit!!

  207. 207
    Anonymous says:

    You could garrotte them with only a foot of wire?

  208. 208
    Dot Neck says:

    First, arrange each hangee carefully in order of their weight and adjust the length of each wire so that, when plucked, it sounds a different note, Then you could play a number of different tunes to accompany their slow, agonising death. “Who’s sorry now” springs to mind.

  209. 209
    It came with says:

    Nice pistachhio imaging – go easy with the terazura though

  210. 210
    Dr Nuts says:

    The commons authorities – who’s that – not Broon or Harmone.

    Is that a euphemism for the Civil Service advice, and spun to look like Labour are trying to take some initiative (thinking for themselves).

  211. 211
    Devil Rides Out says:

    Surely the whole point about Cameron’s performance is that he can actually be bothered to stand up and attempt to deal with this. Where is Brown? Along with the speaker and Lord Foulkes it appears that he has massively misjudged public opinion. Ok, maybe Cameron’s measures may not be enough but at least he is aware of the how this looks to the voters and is trying to look as if he cares. The complacency of Labour over this issue has been disgusting and just as with the emails debacle they are trying to deflect attention by prattling on about ‘moles’ and security. This tawdry bunch of thieves and amateurs have had their day and I shall delight in watching every last one of them squirm on their way down the sewer.

  212. 212
    Muffin McTuffin says:

    I think that unless the Labour pigs also pay back the x’s it could be quite an opportunity to accuse the Government of being “do nothing Labour”

  213. 213
    Dr Nuts says:

    Oh, that needs to be mentioned as much as possible in as many Labour held constituency local newspapers as possible. Crucifiction of the Labour oinks can only occur if you’re prepared to try!

  214. 214
    Margy says:

    Probably because the nulabourites all thought this expenses lark was part of the job. We know how the left hate other people having money because they want it all for themselves ie poltics of envy & hate etc etc. They are just all f***ing idiots and we are bigger idiots for letting them get away it.

    If this had happened 30 or 40 years ago it would have brought the govt down. Nulabour (who clearly have very little understanding of anything other than ‘taking’) can’t even apologise. I genuinely think people like Blears still don’t think they’ve done anything wrong. If she had any backbone or integrity, she would have resigned as would that piggy pink faced Margaret Moran with her 4 homes.

    So called bloody socialists – their duplicity knows no bounds.

  215. 215
    Anonymous says:

    UKIP, B,NP, Greens are all going to do well out of this.

  216. 216
    Anonymous says:

    I think he knows whats coming.

  217. 217
  218. 218
    Anonymous says:

    So what was the only claim made by the millionaire?

  219. 219
    Max says:

    Don’t bother giving it back; you’ll have to theive hard and long to win a place in jail at the moment sunny jim. No room at the inn and the CPS need a better than 60% chance of conviction to even drag you through the process.

    Go shoplifting and there’s practically not a chance of jail (as mentioned earlier). BTW did I mention you don’t need to give anything back?

    It is assumed you sold it all within 20 minutes of said theft to pay your dealer. That’s life after 12 years of ZNL.

  220. 220
    Plato says:

    Yup but shouldn’t have claimed for it in the first place. It has no bearing on his job as a MP.

    It is no different to hedge trimming next to a heliport – I can’t believe these fuck-wits even made these claims bearing in mind how much private money they have.

    I make almost six figures and wouldn’t dream of claiming anything for house maintenance – I’d be embarrassed and ashamed to do so.

    The whole point of the allowances in the first place was to help those MPs from less well off backgrounds and far flung parts to be on an equal footing – instead they have all ripped the piss shamelessly.

    Fuck every one of them from whatever party. They are parasites eating out on my hard work.

    *opens bottle of finest fish fingers to chill out*

  221. 221
  222. 222
    Self Serving Career MP says:

    Phew! I think we’re out the shit. They look like they’ve swallowed it.

  223. 223
    Bri says:

    The Balls claim their house in Castleford as their main home and a house in Stoke Newington as their second home. Therefore allowing them to both claim ACA of about £44,000.
    The children attend school in London.

    They are theiving from you and me

  224. 224
    Bri says:

    Oops, thieving

  225. 225
    Anonymous says:

    Swinging in the rain?

  226. 226
    resurgemus says:

    Can’t see what you’re fussing about:

    In France 1 in 6 voters regularly support neo-fascists
    In Italy 1 in 8 voters regularly support neo-fascists
    In Germany 1 in 15 voters regularly support neo-fascists
    In Eastern Europe very scary !

    All that’s happening is we’re becoming more like the rest of the big happy European family.

    Indeed if the BNP gets seats they will have an easier time finding a voting block than CMDs mob

  227. 227
    Pissed off voter says:

    Sir George Young was chair of the committee which gave the Wintertons a six month window to bring their property scam ‘within the rules’ – and they are still building their grand poroperty portfolio courtesy of the taxpayer.

  228. 228
    Goat says:

    She reminds me of a rat doing one from a stricken ship. I hope she drowns.

  229. 229
    Anonymous says:

    Correct both times.

  230. 230
    P.C. Filth says:

    Yes, sir. I’m straining at the leash. Would you like a chocolate hob-nob with your tea, sir? Over.

  231. 231
    Father Jack says:

    agree with you Hefferlite – david davis was always destined to disappoint us

  232. 232

    If HMRC are really going to take an interest there’ll be plenty of retribution. Taxes, plus Penalties, plus Interest. Possibly even prosecution. There’ll be a lot of MPs shitting themselves if the taxman is allowed to do their job.

    The Penguin

  233. 233
    Alan Duncan says says:

    72 – ‘Did I hear the word’ bum’?

  234. 234
    Bob Marley says:

    So a thumping majority since 1997, control of parliament, elected on an anti sleaze slate, blame the system and it’ll be alright and it appears that Gordo as chief gadarene swineherd still does not get it like his mate the speaker.

    In the land of the blind the one eyed man is king!

    Not anywhere else

  235. 235
    grandma B says:

    Gordon’s is very, very busy organising an escort service for the whole population of the country. I’m not sure what the police think about it. Where did that brilliant idea come from. Has be flipped or is he flapping? Nevertheless it could be very useful to me on Bingo night.

  236. 236
    Cato the uncensor says:

    MP’s have been to see the Prime Mentalist to demand the Speaker goes – Times.

    If you all want a larf visit Labour Home. It’s like the party that no one went to.

  237. 237
    Bishop Tutu says:

    Christ on a bike!

    Have you been to South Africa recently?

  238. 238
  239. 239
    Gummer says:

    “Burglars don’t get off by giving back the telly.”

    Spot on, Fawkes. Spot on.

  240. 240
  241. 241
    Anonymous says:

    Wouldn’t surprise me if Gordon was having some sort of breakdown

  242. 242
    Dr Nuts says:

    And where is Virginia Bottomly these days?

  243. 243
    Harriet and Hazels toyboy says:

    I’ll have to be firmer with them (arf arf)

  244. 244
    Goat says:

    I detest this government with a passion so intense it actually radiates venom and I now have no friends. Small children run screaming in the street, and I feel violently compelled to take all of the fifteen bins I now have and shove them, forcefully up the rear end of the next Labour politician who dares cross my path. I am past apoplectic and into a stage of hatred that is beyond anything that I thought even I could imagine. It has took well over a decade to get to this point.

    So what do they do? They know they are hated, they know that everybody with more than two brain cells to rub together wants a chance to kick them into the long grass. But no, the bastards will hang on till the last minute so they can fuck us over one last time. They really do seem to be trying to destroy the country so that the Tories will have a shit time and they can get back in and abuse us again.

    Forget piano wire and lamp posts, I want eviscerations and torture. I want to see them burned at the stake using a bucket of Thermite. I want these people tortured slowly.

    And breathe…

  245. 245
    DCI Nacker says:

    Two donuts and a chicken bhuna. Then open fire.

  246. 246
    Mrs Trellis says:

    “I misclaimed, m’Lud!”

    “Six weeks inside, then. Take him down”

  247. 247
    peter carter-fuck says:

    You have to be careful hanging someone with piano wire. Get the drop wrong and their heads come clean off. Then again, that could be a feature, not a bug.

  248. 248
    Anonymous says:

    Does this mean his millionaire Etonian friends are going to effectively get away with it?

  249. 249
    Harriet and Hazels toyboy says:

    Is your keyboard functioning properly?
    You seem to have missed out an ‘h’ in your comment RavingMad

  250. 250
    It doesn't add up... says:

    I wonder if she will sign Carswell’s motion? It’s a clear message that the speaker is shit.

  251. 251
    Trough Mixture. says:

    No chance. You look like a geriatric George Formby. Repeating “We’ve changed it!” ad inf. doth not a ukelele player make.

    Turned out nice….

  252. 252
    Jethro says:

    So, Sir, shall I – after a lifetime of voting Conservative. It might let the LD’s in (not, I think, down here the other Anti-Hunting Party!), but if a Tory wants me to vote for him, he has to stand for our withdrawal from the even filthier Augean Stables that is the EU-gh: any institution that gives well-paid ‘jobs’ to two Kinnocks… I rest my case!

  253. 253
    Oswald Mosley's shirt wholesaler says:

    What a fucking shithole of a country, when the b,np can claim the moral high ground.
    645 arseholes’ finest achievement

  254. 254
    Harriet and Hazels toyboy says:

    I do believe that you have missed out an ‘h’ in your comment

  255. 255
    soapyballs says:

    Sample nicely presented will sufficice
    can collect

  256. 256
    Oliver Letwin says:

    Dear boy, keep up!

  257. 257
    Dr Nuts says:

    Thanks Ewanme

    I’m not a physician – I’m an engineer!

  258. 258
    Trough Mixture. says:

    I always see him in the uniform of a Walmington Home Guard Captain for some reason.

  259. 259
    I am Sick says:

    “Vote Tory!!”

    Not a chance at the coming Euros, the big three are all beyond the pale as far as the wretched EU is concerned. Vote for anyone who wants the UK out and I mean ANYONE.

  260. 260
    Hoddles Waddle says:

    ditto to goats comment….phew

  261. 261
    S Milligan says:

    Send him some stockings,suspenders, a garotte and 2lbs of satsumas. I feel a u-tube moment coming on.

  262. 262
    Mrs Trellis says:

    Guido took an enormous risk sitting down in front of Michael White. Has Guido not heard about his predeliction?

  263. 263
    Whoopy cushion says:

    I see the BBC & the labour propagandaist Nick Robinson are bleating on about Tory ‘Grandees’ whilst forgetting to mention the inconvenient truth that these people were Tory grandees BEFORE entering Parliament – Nor do the BBC seem to understand that labour MP’s have, unlike the Tories, acquired THEIR property portfolios ENTIRELY at the expense of the tax payer – as Clark would have said “they (Labour) bought their own furniture”

  264. 264
    Carol Thatcher's Brain says:

    Surely, this is THE most important thing? If our politicians are being exposed as cheating, greedy, self-serving parasites then, golly, how can we trust them with anything remotely serious?
    BTW, Mummy says hi and Mark says……..
    Who cares what that useless twat says?

  265. 265
    Pissed off voter says:

    What you are suggesting is that crime is ok as long as you stop when you are caught. They have gloried in responsibility and abused it, they must now be held to account for their sins. Otherwise, we’ll have to go through this kind of thing again and again.

  266. 266
    Pot and Kettle says:

    It’s interesting to look at the hypocrisy of some of them.

    David Willets for example – selected here because he is
    a) allegedly a bit of an intellectual (but can’t change a lightbulb),
    b) one of the most recently ‘named and shamed’, (but by no means the worse),
    c) obviously prone to Irony.

    The Times (8/1/09) carried a report by Willetts, who was calling for a debate upon the evolutionary role of cooperation:


    “You can’t just instruct people from above – ‘you must be good'; you have to look at ways in which ‘good’ or co-operative behaviour will emerge rationally.

    In the past, we’ve tended to do this by appealing to self-interest.

    We need to appeal to people’s sense of fairness and create the environment in which fair behaviour thrives and is rational”

    // Extract.

    So why hasn’t “Two-Brains” Willetts – who has also been outspoken about benefits cheats, yet claimed public money for a dog enclosure and for concrete base for a shed- practiced what he preaches?

    If MPs did a bit less preaching, and a lot more listening, they might actually learn from ‘peoples’ sense of what is fair.

  267. 267
    Anonymous says:

    UKIP if you want to. Tories aren’t for kipping.

  268. 268
    resurgemus says:

    Anonymous 190

    Can’t see what you’re fussing about:

    In France 1 in 6 voters regularly support neo-fascists
    In Italy 1 in 8 voters regularly support neo-fascists
    In Germany 1 in 15 voters regularly support neo-fascists
    In Eastern Europe very scary !

    All that’s happening is we’re becoming more like the rest of the big happy European family.

    Indeed if our own neo fascists gets seats they will have an easier time finding a voting block than CMDs mob

    PS replied earlier but having problem with the moderation

  269. 269
    Eddie Stobart says:

    I think I have a couple of lorries big enough. Someone else will have to load it though.

  270. 270
    denverthen says:

    I don’understand. Who are these buggers paying this money back to?

    Are we getting a rebate?

  271. 271
    peter carter-fuck says:

    A Conservative MP’s home is his castle.

  272. 272
    Dave Figgley says:

    Dunno, mate. Last I heard, she’d gone in to hospital for a peterectomy.

  273. 273
    Dr Nuts says:

    The you’ve been bad – you’ve been caught acting OUTSIDE the rules….

    Easy solution – change the rules – you wont get caught out again!

  274. 274
    filipinomonkey says:

    I think the House of Commons needs a good old sing song to cheer itself up, and what better than a few old favourites from that classic “The Jungle Book”

    So Mr Speaker takes us away please…

    “Now I’m the king of the swingers
    Oh the jungle V.I.P
    I’ve reached the top and had to stop
    and that’s what’s botherin’ me…”

    …and now a song just for that nice Mr Cameron, all Tory MP’s on the chorus please…

    “Look for those bare necessities
    The simple bare necessities
    Forget about your worries and your strife
    I mean the bare necessities
    Mother Natures recipes
    That bring the bare necessities of life”

    And finally one for Mr Mandleson, here from the other place as a very special guest, so with no further ado…

    “Trussssssssssssssst in me
    Jussssssssssssssssst in me
    Hold still please
    You can sleep safe and sound
    Knowing I’m around”

    There, that’s much better.

    Edith Piaf anyone??

  275. 275
    Geordie Girl says:

    Toenails on 6pm BBC news – “Cameron will be feeling smug” that he has imposed some discipline on his party before Brown, thereby stealing a march on Brown.

    Definition of smug – “Exhibiting or feeling great or offensive satisfaction with oneself or with one’s situation, self righteously complacent”. There are many words more appropriate than “smug” which should have been used by Robinson.

    It is this sort of subtle bias that is all pervasive in the BBC and it is infuriating that we who fund it are powerless to stop it.

  276. 276
    NewGirl says:

    Thank goodness he’s done something…..more than bloody Brown has. Wish he’d sacked a few though…. Please let the focus move from the Tories back to Labour – there must be a few nuggets left ….I want DC to be able to get righteous again…

  277. 277
    Nemo says:

    “…is he INSANE.”


  278. 278
    Max says:

    “My client was walking past the aforementioned premises and was taken aback to see that the window was wide open and an apparent break in had taken place.

    Because the property was now exposed to the elements he decided, and he agrees that he took the decision in some haste, that he could assist the owner by retrieving the television and wallet (which unbeknown to him contained some credit cards) into his own safe keeping.

    This was to be only a temporary situation with the intention of protecting these items whilst looking for a Police Officer in order to report the incident. My client considered himself fortunate that the local beat officer was in fact just outside the window when he was leaving the premises and was in the process of explaining himself when he was arrested.

    I would ask the Court to consider my client’s submission and on a technicality would remind you that my client was arrested in the garden of the premises and thus the items he was carrying did not actually leave the possession of the owner.

    My client has a history of poor treatment by the authorities having been in the care of the local social services since an early age. His parents were not in a stable relationship and in his childhood he has known a succession of father figures that have not been interested in his development and well being.

    He is now, since his arrest, responding well to his outreach worker and, under a government funded scheme, due to embark upon a six week holiday to the Caribbean which, if he is incarcerated, he would miss.”

    “Thank you m’lud”.

  279. 279
    peter carter-fuck says:

    It’s two for the price of one day at Pizza Hut, she’s busy.

  280. 280
    Pressbog says:

    Tracy liked a bit of crocket, innit?

  281. 281
    Homeless Bum says:

    My Arse or yours?

  282. 282
    It doesn't add up... says:

    Has he asked Hattie about the escorts? Lots of jobs for the girls and boys

  283. 283
  284. 284
    Grytpype-thynne says:

    My friends, I believe Cameron did well.True leadership is about how you handle a crisis and that is just what he has done.Remember he has said it is not his last word on the matter, which sounds very like a threat to the Grandee side of the party.Harman’s idea of referring matters to yet another committee is pathetic and is only about addressing claims made outside the rules, whereas Cameron’s address immoral claims too
    Brown, by contrast, has gone walkabout in the Bush, as he always does when the going gets difficult.As for Speaker Martin, he digs himself an ever deeper hole and manages to combine greed with a highly offensive sense of entitlement.Talk of UKIP is absurd; they too are corrupt and have no intention of changing things.Our only chance is to vote Conservative; hold your nose if you have to but Dave has shown some steel and leadership today.Asb to Martin’s successor, Ming Campbell’s name has been mentionedand I like it

  285. 285
    Anonymous says:

    Nope, sorry Bob. Doesn’t even rhyme.

  286. 286
    Tory Dan says:

    So whats going to be in the Telegraph later on/tomorrow then?

  287. 287
    I am Sick says:

    85K for what?

    The lazy troughers dont work for most of the year and 80% of all laws are made by the Brussels Politburo.

    All the lazy hoons do is administer laws made in another country, by an unelected and unremovable executive, who enjoy immunity from prosecution for life, that we have no say over, can never amend, alter or say no to.

    I say they are overpaid and underworked enough as it is. Put their jobs up for tender and lets see what a regional assembly workers job is really worth.

    I will undercut 65k by 15k and I will do a 40 hour week with 4 weeks holiday too and I wont claim for bath plugs, patio heaters or cat food etc.

  288. 288
    Grex. says:

    I complained to the BBC about Mr Robinson’s questioning of Joanna Lumley.

    It turns out I am misguided, the BBC is committed to fairness, we need Mr Robonson to explain things to qw poor mites and there was nothing to see here.

    My point about the question somehow wasn’t answered. So you complain (and I am not an habitual complainer) and a BBC employee exonerates the BBC while patronising you.

  289. 289
    Droopy Drawers says:

    Thing is though, that you DO need to earn more than £64k to run a mediaeval house with grounds and a moat. So someone like Hogg, if that is the lifestyle he wants, must get a job that pays enough for him to live that way.

    OR, alternatively, he gets a pay rise. Putting a business hat on for a moment, if the going rate for a top-flight Douglas Hogg is £90k per year, and you really do need a good Douglas Hogg for the task in hand and nobody else will do, then you pay the market rate. A Douglas Hogg is not a cheap thing to run. A Douglas Hogg is a status symbol like a Sunbeam Alpine or Babycham.

    The Daily Mash have a good go at them:

  290. 290
    Engineer says:

    Don’t forget the Lib Dems – they’re next, apparently.

  291. 291
    British Fruit Importers Assn says:

    It’s all lies, I tell you.

  292. 292
    Dr Nuts says:

    Margaret Moran for Jail!

    Margaret Moran for Jail! She’s the first – and the start.

  293. 293
    I am Sick says:

    Heads should still roll.

  294. 294
    It doesn't add up... says:

    Tell me, Anonymous, what first attracted you to multi-millionaire Peter Mandelson?

  295. 295
    Copper with a baton says:

    Need any help from me DCI Knacker?

  296. 296
    Sir William Waad says:

    The Beeb have been doing their loyal best on their website with ‘Minister Fights Back’ type headlines. The sad thing is that the Beeboids may genuinely believe that they are impartial. I think they really try to be so. They just can’t manage it, because everybody they meet at the Beeb thinks the same way that they do. They are goldfish who can see outside their little bowl, but everything they see is distorted.

  297. 297
    DCI Nacker says:

    You could elp me with my spellin. Then open fire.

  298. 298
    Dr Nuts says:

    Is there a timing thing on this repay?

    I’ll repay over my dead body – or I’ll repay when Hell freezes over. Did we only get part of the quote?

    Her offer to repay – is an admission of guilt – I’m still waiting to hear if she’s been deselected.

  299. 299
    Moderator says:

    It’s OK now resurgemus. We had our dial thingy cranked up to 11. We’ve tweaked it down a bit so most swear words should get through. Don’t try the N-word, the Q-word or the Balls-word though.

  300. 300
    Auntie says:

    Sorry, we only take habitual complainers seriously.

  301. 301
    What Gordon did next says:

    Hopefully the little Zanulab hoon will be collecting his P45 in the very near. I remember him writing a blog on one of DC’s meet the people meetings in Harlow last year. The little shit arrived when it was all over – aparently he was stuck in traffic.

  302. 302
    NewGirl says:

    so forgettable, the LibDems….

  303. 303
    anticant says:

    “Sorry” is not what I want to hear from these people. I want them to say “I am thoroughly ashamed of myself and am retirimg from public life”.

  304. 304
    It doesn't add up... says:

    “It’s going to be a cross-party motion”

    Has Kate Hoey signed?

  305. 305

    Re Margaret Moran – did you see that in the dispute with her Spanish neighbours (yes, her 4th home) she used HoC notepaper to pin a notice to her gate telling them why she’d blocked access to their homes? It’s the ‘do you know who I am’ syndrome and tells you all you need to know about her.

  306. 306
    Anonymous says:


  307. 307
    Anonymous says:


  308. 308
    Anonymous says:

    Remind me not to let you tinker with the boiler!

  309. 309
    resurgemus says:

    Completely lost on that as it didnt use any of those !

    The only difference between post above and that originally sent was I changed the 3 letter party to the words “our own neo-fascists”

    Still interesting about the sphere people

  310. 310
    Maitre D says:

    You want nuggets. You want vintage wine.

    Main Course will include Balls/Cooper and Hain.

    Cheese ‘n biscuits Lib Dems(Charlie K’s Threshers Bill) with coffee via some Tory backbenchers.

    The biggest thieves are:

    Mr Malcom Jack accessory before during and after the larcenies.

    Mr M Martin the Speaker who has presided over this Institutional Theft of which was also a most enthusiastic participant.

  311. 311
    It doesn't add up... says:

    Who has been dumbest of late? Lib Dumbs?

  312. 312
    Papasmurf says:

    Wholesale Reform

    Does anyone else here wonder if, now that the bubble of corruption has been pricked, that there should be wholesale reform of the system?

    I read, or heard, somewhere that Speaker’s normally get an automatic entry into the Lords.

    Bearing in mind that the troughing is in the Lords too, it is hardly surprising that the cost of Parliament is so enormous.

    Just because one has become a Speaker, Prime Minister or any other position is NO reason to get into this exclusive ‘club’ for life. Would you really think GB deserves to go into the Lords……. FFS NOooooooooooooo!!!!!!!

    I think the opportunity to get an elected upper house should now be taken. Nominations from all over the country’s best talent…..dare I say, a government of all the talents!!!

    Get rid of all these ‘club’ members and make them earn their keep again.

  313. 313
    Pissed off voter says:

    Yes he did well compared to do-nothing Brown and, to be fair, he declared his measures as interim, but he completely sidestepped the question of ‘flipping’. In particular, Theresa Villiers appeared to switch from London allowance to second home allowance purely to take advantage of the extra taxpayers cash available as she was already living only 14 miles from Westminster. So why is she not stopping her claim until ‘later this year’? Indeed, why is she not repaying the claim? There are also a number of apparent conventional flippings which remain untouched.

  314. 314
    Dr Nuts says:

    Well then, the Hogg should put his claim into the constuency Conservative party and state if they want his services they must pay for it. None of the general tax-payers concerns.

  315. 315
    I am Sick says:

    You are right, Brown can sacrifice someone like Blears and look tougher than call me Dave in the process. Cameron really should have made a few heads roll, Brown would then be absolutely high and dry, with nowhere to go. As it is the door is still open to the old fraud, expect another stabbing among the komrades.

  316. 316
    RavingMad says:

    what? he’s got a castle as well, fuck!!??!!

  317. 317
    Anonymous says:

    Different Parliament Same Shit

  318. 318
    Pissed off voter says:

    Alternatively, you could just drown them in a moat – there is a nice clean one available.

  319. 319
    RavingMad says:

    yes, knocking balls about everywhere – good sport sir

  320. 320
    DT Editor says:

    Don’t worry NewGirl, madam *phwoooar*. We’ve got enough dirt on Labour to revisit their ‘honest mistakes’ at the end of the week. Yellows tomorrow; you’re going to love their faux-pas. Can’t mention names just yet but they have been propping up the domestic windmill industry, hair-shirt manufacturers, jesus-creeper suppliers and numerous taxi rides to The Bulldog; a health farm in Amsterdam from what I can gather. Oh, what fun. Please don’t forget to buy the largest paper (5.5 sq. metres) on sale in Britain, tomorrow. Ta.

  321. 321
    Give me 650 lamp posts and a roll of piano wire and I can fix democracy says:

    Fuck me. Did anyone else see Toenails on the BBC 6PM news ‘claim’ that McTwat will be getting some of the credit for the plans to reform expenses and how Gordon did his best despite his own cabinet trying to knife him?

    What fucking planet does Toenails live on?

    Tom Bradby and Adam Bolton give us a totally different view. Cameron looked decisive and the Tories look like party heading into power whilst Liebour look like they are on the way out.

    i can’t believe we pay 3.5 billion a year for the Hunts at the BBC.

  322. 322
    Jethro pp.The Prone Monster says:

    I agree with you that your plan is too complicated.
    Here is what we will do:

    We will immediately action your ‘pay every M.P. 85K’ plan, back-dating it to 1997, but restricting it to those who do not represent divisive, elitist, nationalist, old-fashioned Parties and people.

    We will set up a Royal Commission to look into the whole business of expenses; this will be chaired by someone of great reputation, such as Lord Hutton. Meanwhile, in the interest of fairness, expenses claimed by progressive M.P.s will continue to be paid, while the Commission is at work. Expense-claims of the Opposition will be minutey scrutinised, the more egregious ones being made public, in the interest of transparency.

    Furthermore, the ‘signing-in’ process will be inaugurated, but, in tune with our progressive ideals, signing-in will be by electronic means (Capita has already submitted the one tender for this e-contract). Once more, to ensure fairness and transparency, the e-signing-in will be moderated by the Government, to ensure that questionable, disputatious, frivolous, and other such ‘signings-in’ are prevented from sullying and polluting the whiter-than-white – whoops! – unimpeachable integrity, and sea-green incorruptibility of Parliament.
    I am most grateful to Dr. Sipp for his suggestions, and his ISP identity is safe with us!
    p.s. The Brown who is on the Board of Capita is, of course, ‘no relation’.

  323. 323

    I really hate that fat little cun+

  324. 324
    oranges are not the only fruit says:

    How many people, I wonder, did a copycat?

    I’ve still got nylon up my Mandelson and pips in my teeth.

  325. 325
    Give me 650 lamp posts and a roll of piano wire and I can fix democracy says:

    Good point. I need more piano wire. Perhaps we should do what they did in the war when they went around collecting metal off the public for the war effort?

    I don’t think we’d be short of donations.

  326. 326
    Anonymous says:

    Not those bloody Tamil protesters again.

  327. 327
    Red Bacon says:

    Couldn’t have gone any better for Brown really. Behind in the polls, the revalation of Tory troughing has been a leveller – delivered by the Torygraph…sorry, the Tonygraph…..wheels within wheels….

  328. 328
    Dr Nuts says:

    Even more importantly – he’s made it extremely obvious the Labour Party are ‘do nothing’ – a stinging remark that Broon has been using on the marketing principle that heard enough times a person comes to remember it.

    This whole situation has everyones attention and Tomorrow the news will state Camerons solution – and Broon – he’s got no authority and the party will be seen as the ‘do nothing’ party – when and where it counts.

  329. 329
    HoC Wormery says:

    Fork off. Hoe. Hoe. Hoey.

  330. 330
    Jethro says:

    …had to explain to them what ‘Park & Ride meant’, don’t you know.

  331. 331
    Ratsniffer says:

    Tom Bradby – ITN – says his contacts on the telegraph say the day after tomorrow they’ll reveal the “worst of the worst” trough snafflers.

    Oh please, please – let it be Balls.

  332. 332
    resurgemus says:

    Another labour balls up

  333. 333
    Norman says:

    And apparently Cleggy paid some jockey to shoot Vince’s hampster.

  334. 334
    Pig-in-a-wig says:

    **Blub** I award the young man £500 for services to the community. Case dismissed.

  335. 335



    WE WANT BALLS!!!!!

  336. 336
    Anonymong says:

    Brilliant – I’ve been wondering what he reminded me of and this suits him to a t.

  337. 337
    Icarus says:

    Balls ACA look very reasonable, sorry!

  338. 338
    Dr Bob says:

    Raving bonkers more like. He thinks he’s a natural leader.

    While the Germans used direction radio finding to blitz Britain, Herr Von Brownhatter did it without a moral compass or radar.

    Nurse … lithium for PM Brown. Quick!

  339. 339
    John says:

    Do nothing Brown is too busy digging his way to Australia. He is a man of straw, a spent force who will lose the next election.

    Cameron has started to take action with the Conservative but Crash Gordon is still in his bunker throwing phones at his staff, doing nothing to deal with the Labour party sleaze!!!!

  340. 340
    Anonymous says:

    Check out Dave at:

  341. 341
    Sic a parcel o'rogues says:

    Just how much bigger a hole will Labour dig for themselves?

    Speaker Martin biting the back bencher’s hands that keep his nose in the trough. Lard Foulkes trying to make out he gets paid less than a second rate BBC presenter and that somehow the jobs carry a similar responsibility.. (Well George your visit to the slammer for disorderly conduct does highlight your commitment to the people even if it is to molest old grannies).

    The bottom line is if you or I tried the expenses scam that the MP’s are pulling we would have the IRS on our backs like a ton of bricks and be repaying not just the sum involved but punitive interest on the sum and the option of a fixed penalty fine on top or a visit to M’luds and a jury of our peers.

    We have seen the farce that is PPER 2000 and the ability of MPs of both main parties to avoid criminal prosecution under the act by ‘apologising to the house’ while still trousering the dosh tax free (Hain’s £100,000 comes to mind then there was Straw’s £25,000…).

    My point is that Parliament has put itself above what little constitutional rules Westminster has by ignoring the intrinsic right upheld for 800 years that all are equal before law. In doing so or condoning such action by default, all MP’s are guilty of a treasonable act in putting themselves above the law.

    So it does not matter how much of their petty cash Tory Grandees spend ‘paying back expense they were not entitled to’ the whole boiling has been found wanting in extreme and the least they can do is allow the judgement of a jury of their peers by means of a General Election. That is the only way this sordid and sorry pass can be dealt with.

  342. 342
    gollums knob says:

    fucks sake Goat, don’t hold back – tell us how you really feel.

  343. 343
    Jethro...akaGWR says:

    For ‘jobsworth’ try substituting ‘post-nationalisation': pre nationalisation, Porters ported, were paid, and took tips; post-nationalisation, porters all disappeared when the ‘Home’ signal bell sounded – too grand to accept demeaning ‘tips’, just willing to take the same pre-nationalisation pay for not doing the job!

  344. 344
    Reggie & Ronnie (Decent Geezers) Enterprises says:

    Shut it. It’ll cost you ten grand for us to open the envelope. Lemmy (the Dip) and Chopper (the Banker) are both ahead of you in the queue. Tasty CVs too – written by Delboy Drooper at very short notice.

  345. 345
    gollums knob says:

    No. Charge them with theft, get all the shit back from them, fire their asses with no perks or pensions, suspend them from dole money, and let the fuckers find their own way through life with nothing.

    None of the fuckers would make it.

  346. 346
    The Compleat Dangler says:

    You’re right. 17 Down is a bastard today.

  347. 347
    Max says:

    A glass of port in my rooms?

  348. 348
    Devonport Dave says:

    All Cameron has to do now is to announce the removal of any kind of exemption from the fraud laws M.P.s might think they have if he gets elected and a full investigation by the Police and Inland Revenue with a view to re-claiming ALL dodgy expenses paid over say the last 5 years and not only will Mrs Cameron be able to start buying curtains but by the time the next election is called all the panicking Labour lot who can’t afford to re-pay their dirty money will be in the funny farm next to Gordo.

  349. 349
    MOT Centre, Westminster says:

    We have a lot of used tyres to get rid of. Hoon and Co. look like natural gurners.

  350. 350
    Anonymous says:

    Thought at one stage he was going to crush the proverbial grape he was so angry. Sniffing a lot. Does he have a cold???

  351. 351
    Grytpype-thynne says:

    Thank you for your openness and bravery Mr Anonymous

  352. 352
    Alien8n says:

    It’s entirely possible that some of them do not have the money to repay back just yet. By delaying it allows them time to find a way to privately finance their mortgages or try and sell the home in order to repay.

    Not every Tory is rich (just most of them)

  353. 353

    just heard that a couple (husband and wife) will be named and shamed in the telegraph tommorow. I think the balls turn has come :)

  354. 354
    Grytpype-thynne says:

    MPs are not exempt from the law of fraud; there has to be a complaint from the defrauded party (as in person or organisation) and of course an intention to defraud

  355. 355
    Glastisch says:

    “It’s going to be a cross-party motion”

    ” Paging Mr Oaten! Paging Mr Oaten! “

  356. 356
    Trough Mixture. says:

    Any betting on resignations before publication?

  357. 357
    Give me 650 lamp posts and a roll of piano wire and I can fix democracy says:

    Looks like Balls and Cooper are going to be the desert.

  358. 358
    Give me 650 lamp posts and a roll of piano wire and I can fix democracy says:

    But watch the BBC defend them.

  359. 359
    resurgemus says:

    Balls didn’t look so happy leaving the cabinet today – Mail has the photo

  360. 360
    Geordie Girl says:

    I do hope so but it could be the Keens, Robinsons or Wintertons also.

  361. 361
    M.T.BUCKET says:

    Ihope they are haveing an immodium+ moment.

  362. 362
    Alien8n says:

    Why should he know what has been claimed? He’s not signing off their expense claims.

  363. 363
    freddie flintoff says:

    i heard it wasnt convinced but will give him a chance before i bowl him a bouncer

  364. 364
    Lord Troff de-void of Shame says:

    To summarise the above comments;

    Dave showing McBunker a clean pair of heels over his response.

    Daves response a start but must cleanse the super-toffs from his team.

    Toenails and the Beeb biased twats.

    No-one named yet on suicide watch.

    Balls to get kicked on Thursday?

    Liebour a spent force and will be drubbed in June


  365. 365
    freddie flintoff says:

    she needs a bat round the face

  366. 366 was 'honour-and-offer' all night. says:

    …but, when he comes back from the government-funded scheme (we must not call it an holiday!), with his outreach worker, I insist that I be informed, so that informal arrangements for his further rehabilitation may be made. Only the other day, I learned of someone of unimpeachable integrity, whose Moat needs to be dredged, and another who, from time to time needs his Aga servicing: it is just this kind of service to Society that can make all the difference.
    I see from the case-notes, that his outreach worker is 29-years old, and, from her picture as much as from her stated age, I guess that she might benefit from some further experience of the world, to widen, as it were, her experience: I ask this Court to make sure that she contacts me, as soon as she is back.

  367. 367
    C.J. says:

    You would expect political leaders to lead. Instead our politicians are forever on the back foot,doing the minimum necessary to placate the maximum numbers of voters. I don’t want somebody to tell me what they think i’ll like. I want a leader who leads first, and then waits to see if anybody’s following. A lot will wither on the path,but through natural selection the best will thrive. What we have at the present is middle management form shufflers,which would at least be bearable if they were competent,but the expenses fiasco is straight out of Reggie Perrin.

  368. 368
    freddie flintoff says:

    line em up and shoot em

  369. 369
    Veloman says:

    I can’t wait for the Ball’s to get their mention in the Telegraph!!!?????

  370. 370
    Flemingcrag says:

    David asks his front benchers to pay back unwarranted expense claims whilst Gordon orders the police to walk those who are afraid the last mile to their home.
    If your last mile home takes you past the Houses of Parliament that home of many thieves who specialise in mugging honest hardworking taxpayers then I suggest you get on the phone to your local police station and book your escort home now, just say Gordon O.K’d it…First come, first escorted.

  371. 371
    reg511 says:

    Why all the confidence in Liebour losing the next election, Glenrothes?

  372. 372
    Anonymous says:

    Yes. DC blew his chance. Theft is theft. Paying it back is not enough. The Tories have lost my vote. If the LibDems actually force people to resign then I will, unbelievably, be voting LibDem. I expect they will screw it up as well though so my vote will be wasted on an independent. Monster Raving Loonies here I come…

  373. 373 was 'honour-and-offer' all night. says:

    .. apart from the vacancy in his head, there is a vacancy in his sense of morality, another in his understanding of integrity, an even greater one in his sense of any obligation of impartiality, let alone dignity of Office.
    Discarding the Speaker’s wig was a symptom of the condition – ‘I am greater than all these centuries of custom and tradition: I, Michael Martin, am greater than this Office of Speaker. I will apply, and, if necessary, make, the rules ‘my way’.’
    Oddly enough, had he not discarded the ‘ancient trappings of office’, he might very well have got away with it!

  374. 374
    Moley says:

    Not quite all.

    Cameron also said that Constituency parties would have an opinion and would doubtless express it in due course.

    (Not his actual words but probably close).

    Cameron isn’t going to withdraw the Whip, he is going to leave matters in the hands of the constituencies.

    A sensible and democratic solution.

  375. 375
    Cock Smoker General says:

    The Tories are filthy Cock Smokers as proven by their reprehensible rape of the expenses system.

    Far, far worse than Labour.

  376. 376
    Brown Envelope says:

    Fuck Me! Even Neil Hamiltons shocked! Or envious.

  377. 377
    Fiery Freddie says:

    Aim for the box!

  378. 378
    Gareth Thomas says:

    Right, Guido, so you went to the conference. Excellent. Well done. So: what are you giving us that the rest of the press aren’t? The Telegraph has led this, the rest of the traditional press are following, and you bloggers are bringing up the rear, reacting to it all. After all the fuss following the Draper nonsense, which got you a whole load of attention, I haven’t seen anything here which persuades me you are one step ahead of the press. Quite the reverse: you are just telling us what you’ve read in the papers. Not very interesting really, is it? Are you just going to be the bloke in the pub, or do you have something more to bring to this?

  379. 379
    Ben Doon-Hoon & Phil McCaverty says:

    Before we hang ‘em, can we bang ‘em?

  380. 380
    Anonymous says:

    The millionaires won’t miss the refunds.No other sanctions. Game, set and match to the Bulingdon boys mates

  381. 381

    Good for you Guido. We hopefully shall be as hot after the arses of the Cameroonies and the Cleggies as the GramscoFabiaNazaNuLieBorg.

  382. 382
    NewGirl says:


  383. 383 was 'honour-and-offer' all night. says:

    Culloden: now wasn’t that one of quite a few battles the Scotch (rather like their ‘Auld Alliance’ partners, The French) lost?
    And, isn’t it true that, despite all the ‘reconciliation’, South Africa remains a riven, polarised, them-and-us, country?
    P-o-V is spot-on: if crime is o.k. once the criminal is allowed to get away with saying, ‘You’ve caught me: don’t make a fuss, I promise to return the stolen goods.’, we have not only ceded the moral ground, but offered encouragement to the criminal just to be much more circumspect next time; the ‘Eleventh Commandment (‘Thou shalt not be found out.’) trumps the Ten: not ‘Thou shalt not x…’, but ‘Make sure no-one catches you doing x…’. Is this what we really want – a Parliament of thieves and rogues that are just more adept at concealing their immorality? If so, come back Lloyd George, come back Lord North, come back Walpole: all is forgiven!

  384. 384

    I think this is about all you’ll get Guido. But it is good news as the Toffs will give back the money with better grace that the Labour politicians would.

    Also it will force Gordon to do the same, he has to, Cameron has got him cold. If he doesn’t there can be no doubt Labour will not get into Government again for a decade or three.

    If he does copy Cameron and force his own people to give it all abck, his cabinet and back benchers will club together to ensure he goes so fast his feet won’t touch the ground.

    I am beginning to really understand the expression “caught between a rock and a hard place”


  385. 385
    Another mad Fife git says:

    Dear old Goat – Can you repeat your speech in a rough Fife accent and send the tapes to a certain address in North Queensferry?

  386. 386
    Doctor Mick says:

    I say, is this Lord Fenian another f-f-f-foulking Celtic supporter?

  387. 387

    No more Scottish Speakers. They have their own Parliament. And with Speaker Martin, we have given.

  388. 388
    head up arse says:

    fancy seeing you here

  389. 389
    Doctor Mick says:

    What scurrilous gossip could there be? He lives in her second home which is his main residence and she lives in his second home which is her main residence. Both homes reimbursed and both homes escaping CGT.

    I don’t believe these two good people would ever do that.

  390. 390
    Tricky Dicky says:

    Whatever you think, however you look at it, Dave has played a political blinder here. Brown is left looking weak, indecisive, tolerant of troughing – even if he tries to play catch up, it will be far too little, too late. Who looks like the Prime Minister here? Brown had his chance – he could have sacked Smith when she was exposed for declaring her sister’s back bedroom as her main residence. Brown could have sacked McNulty when he was exposed for claiming on his parent’s home. But no – all McAvity Brown could manage was “it was within the rules”. Well, sod the rules, the rules themselves are corrupt!

    Cameron 10, Brown nil.

  391. 391
    Jethro says:

    or a ‘Short of money? Throw a Printer at it!’

  392. 392

    […] your attention, since so very very many of your people read us as I now know from our stats, that some emotional people over at Guido’s place are expressing sentiments about what you Fabians have been doing, are doing now, and want more to […]

  393. 393
  394. 394
  395. 395
    Doctor Mick says:

    So: what are you giving us that the rest of the press aren’t?

    The truth?

  396. 396
    Jethro says: say nothing of his britches.

  397. 397

    […] your attention, since so very very many of your people read us as I now know from our stats, that some emotional people over at Guido’s place are expressing sentiments about what you Fabians have been doing, are doing now, and want more to […]

  398. 398
  399. 399
  400. 400

    […] your attention, since so very very many of your people read us as I now know from our stats, that some emotional people over at Guido’s place are expressing sentiments about what you Fabians have been doing, are doing now, and want more to […]

  401. 401
  402. 402
  403. 403
    Jethro says:

    257 – You” be the famous ‘Screws, Nuts, and Bolts’, then?

  404. 404
    Sinequanon says:

    The best thing the House of Commons could do, if it wants to restore its credibility, is to appoint a special commission to investigate and propose remedies for this situation, and ensure that one of its leading members is Elizabeth Filkin, the Parliamentary Standards Commissioner booted out by Martin and Co for taking her job seriously. John Lyons the present incumbent in that post should go–he has surely failed the British public more than most since he was supposed to be the watchdog and he proved totally ineffective–and EF should be given a formal apology and perhaps (if she still wants the job) reinstated. That would do more than any number of repayments would to restore standards in British parliamentary life.

    Oh and if or when Speaker Martin goes, if necessary H.M. the Queen should exercise her royal prerogative to ensure that he is not made a Lord. Gordon, kicking him upstairs in this case will simply pile more disgrace on your head.

  405. 405

    […] since so very very many of your people read us as I now know from our stats. Now also we know that some emotional people over at Guido’s place are expressing sentiments about what you Fabians have been doing, are doing now, and want more to […]

  406. 406
  407. 407
  408. 408

    […] since so very very many of your people read us as I now know from our stats. Now also we know that some emotional people over at Guido’s place are expressing sentiments about what you Fabians have been doing, are doing now, and want more to […]

  409. 409
  410. 410
  411. 411
    Gareth Thomas says:

    Great idea Dr Mick, except there’s nothing different here to what we can read in the papers at the moment. I think that was my point actually. So explain where is the ‘truth’ here that isn’t available elsewhere, in the press. Did Guido blow the thing open? No. The Telegraph did, with their chequebook. That’s the point: you won’t change anything with a bloke on a computer in a pub.

  412. 412
    Broom and Dust says:

    Just line them all up before a firing squad in Members Lobby — the honourable despatch – then we can all move on. All pensions forfeit to offset some of snotty’s legacy.

  413. 413
    Ben Doon-Hoon & Phil McCaverty says:

    Guido is giving us a platform to vent our spleens, be informed and thorougly enjoy ourselves expressing our views, plus, for those of us who post sensible stuff he buys us the odd Guinness. Feeling dry?

  414. 414
    Tricky Dicky says:

    I think you will find that Cameron has led here. Brown is not even an also ran – he did not even join the race!

  415. 415

    […] since so very very many of your people read us as I now know from our stats. Now also we know that some emotional people over at Guido’s place are expressing sentiments about what you Fabians have been doing, are doing now, and want more to […]

  416. 416
  417. 417
  418. 418
  419. 419
  420. 420
    Elections are just a case of re-arranging the deckchairs says:

    Let’s have the whole sorry story out once and for all. The troughing mp’s are just the tip of a very large iceberg. Those at the top of local authorities, NHS trusts, quangos various, the list goes on and on are….. )oh.. don’t let’s forget the BBC!) writing their own rules and getting away with it. It’s the old story of take a small amount from a lot of people and you will probably not get caught.
    We are all being ripped off blind and unfortunately I don’t see any party with the balls to get to grips with this lot. It is, I fear of pay up/shut up or emigrate.

  421. 421
    Rbh says:

    Too late dave! The Tories have been far worse than the government. Thank god the con party have been shown in their true colours. The country was in serious danger of sleep walking into a Tory government!
    Now that brown has regained the initiative he can reshuffle the cabinet and get on with the job. He needs to at least maintain his majority and then he will have the platform to activate his vision for Britain without the Tories ‘do nothing’ party poltics games.

  422. 422
    Peter Grimes says:

    Fuckin’ nutter. Keep taking the tablets!

  423. 423
    Jethro says:

    244 – Goat: I fear that you might have, if anything, ‘misunderestimated’ the thoughts and feelings of probably the vast majority of England (“We are the people of England, and we have not spoken yet…”): the incandescent rage is beyond mobbish yells of ‘a la lanterne!’, not least because we feel we have no means of redress, and also because we know (French Revolution, par exemple) how often gross injustices and pure savagery have been the only victors: Ancram, Maude, Mc.Nulty, and Moran, would somehow escape the bloodshed, while very small fry would be mounting the scaffold, where, among the masked execution party, would be Ancram, Maude, Mc.Nulty, and Moran. If we were Americans, we’d arrange for a shooting or two – plus a shooting or two to cover up; but we’re English (sorry: I’m not feeling very pro-the-Union at the moment). Burning at the stake? Hanging, drawing, and quartering? Or leave all that to the Eternal Punishment liberals have been encouraging us all not to believe in for decades?

  424. 424
    Grytpype-thynne says:

    The days when Scots were instinctively trusted by the rtest of us are long gone.In the case of politicians and bankers, most of us actively distrust them

  425. 425
    the Unknown Streetcleaner says:

    “Right in front of ‘Sir’ Michael White”

    Nice one.

  426. 426
    Peter Grimes says:

    I’m with you, Goat!

  427. 427
    Peter Grimes says:

    112pearl necklace you haven’t been hanging around that Master Wanker have you? No, I withdraw that, his miserable seed only just dribbles out into his hand!

  428. 428
    Grytpype-thynne says:

    Well named

  429. 429
    Grytpype-thynne says:

    You seem to have a short memory: remember the McBride affair? That had certain members of the Cabinet trembling and it’s not over yet

  430. 430
    Jethroakatoothyparson says:

    112 Dick Emery Says
    ‘Sir, in this Household we do not say ‘Daisy-Chain’! We call it sackbutting.’

  431. 431
    Peter Grimes says:

    I thought Jacqboots did flabby baps not pizza! Ah well, shows you can be wrong!

  432. 432
    Anonymous says:

    Could it be that Thursday we shall have the Balls, with or without Sir Nicholas and Lady Winterton? Tomorrow’s LibDems will just be a short intermission and not very exciting.

  433. 433
    Anonymous says:

    Dave couldn’t have done a better job pr-wise; he truly is a p.r. master.

    Brown/Labour now look like a bunch of crooks who are just trying to copy him now that they’ve been found out.

    Cameron, being a pr bloke, knew that you can’t defend the indefensible, whereas labour are so used to using totally irrational logic that nobody ever believes that they just followed their normal thought processes thinking that the electorate would be taken in by it.

    Cameron’s just talking about a few thousand quid, but it’ll get him enough votes to gain a huge majority in 2010 and to trounce labour at the june euro/local elections, possibly even forcing a general election much sooner because of such a sound trouncing in the elections this june.

    It’s nice to see a politician who understands logical thinking; he’s done something that’ll only cost his MPs a few quid that they won’t even notice, and managed to gain the political advantage on every front.

    I don’t believe for a minute that he did it because it was “the moral thing to do”, but the result is what we’re all after, so well done dave.

  434. 434
    Peter Grimes says:

    What do you mean McDoom has been left behind. I thought that he offered every citizen a private police escort home today. What do you want – blood?

  435. 435
    A pedantic w***er says:

    The burglars bringing back the telly analogy doesn’t quite work, does it?

    If you leave the house door open and put up a large sign saying “telly inside, help yourself if it is in accordance with your duties – please wipe your feet on the way in” – then you wouldn’t be too surprised if your telly went missing.

    Getting your telly back under these circumstances is not a bad result.

  436. 436
    Peter Grimes says:

    What do you mean ‘McDoom is left LOOKING weak? All bigoted ignorant bullies are weak, and McDoom is the worst of them!

  437. 437
    Peter Grimes says:

    Celtic’s Chairman is a former senior BoE official.

  438. 438
    Jethroakatoothyparson says:

    You are so innocent! Of course Mr. Norman Crum’s moat was not cleaned: he just wondered, ‘What is the most outrageous claim I can see if I can waft past these nonentities?’
    No doubt, next year he would have put in for necessary and essential items such as, ‘re-pointing and french-polishing of Portcullis…Betrothal-gift for Iron-maiden…fencing to enclose the Common…legal expenses re. adverse claim from Vicar re. Chancel-roof… legal expenses re. Bailiffs (Vicarage)… ditto re. sale and (re-)purchase of Vicarage…repairs to family vault in said Church…Gift to Bishop, not in any way connected with any of the above expenses… Mole man.
    Not, perhaps, in the most altruistic vein, but all, as the late Kenny Everett used to say, “..and all in the best possible taste!”

  439. 439

    That;s Ok then, a new Dark Age.

  440. 440
    Jethro says:

    …de gustibus, non est disputandum!

  441. 441
    Jethro says:

    365 Freddie: where do you suggest for the Bails?

  442. 442
    Fanny by Gaslight says:

    as with Hillary Clintom “mispeak” = lie

  443. 443
    A few words for Call-Me-Dave says:

    Too little, too late

    They knew about this weeks if not months ago – Call-Me-Dave’s anger now is purely synthetic, and the action taken is just a desperate cynical tactic.

    Paying back the money is a colossal admission of guilt – which would never have happened at all if they could have kept the expenses info under wraps.

  444. 444
    Fanny by Gaslight says:

    Is there a timing thing on this repay?

    Yes. Nulab in marginals, and soon-to-be-marginals will be desperate to delay proceedings/call for enquiries. Once they’ve been thrown out, you won’t see them for dust. Tories will grin and bear it as they will be in government, so will therefore have more moneymaking opportunities.

    Did Mr Abrahams ever get his money back?
    There’s your answer

  445. 445
    thick as thieves says:

    dr nuts,
    regarding your earlier post about rules. if you are a fraud and a thief who is stealing from the public purse then you should be locked up.
    if we don’t lock these thieves up we will never deter others from defrauding the taxpayer.
    oh, and dr, you said that you work in mental health yet you frequently question the mental health of others.
    just about sums you up.
    what a c’unt you are dr. nuts!

  446. 446
    Jethro says:

    Ooh, you are a one, homoless! I’d say ‘Pull the other one.’ but I distrust your literalness.

  447. 447
    Anonymous says:

    If you think taxi journeys and 4 day, all expenses paid (by the taxpayer) trips for him and his wife to far flung, sunny, Arab climes are significant when it comes to the Martin Dynasty, you’ve no idea how long and how deep this family have been at the trough.

    Out and out gangsters, seriously.

  448. 448
    Anonymous says:

    According to Tom Bradby on ITN news the best/worst is being kept for Thursdays edition.

  449. 449
    Jethro says:

    Drop til’ you flop.

  450. 450
    Anonymous says:

    John Reid would be interested……

  451. 451
    Jethro says:

    Senore, Dottore: en Espana, we have tried and tested methods: remember The Inquisition? Remember el Caudillo? The Stake, the Garotte… send them here, under the European Single Justice: we will deal with them!

  452. 452
    Anonymous says:

    The BBC are Fuckmonkeys…Ive no idea what a fuckmonkey is but it seems entirely appropriate that the BBC be identified as such. Good day to you.

  453. 453
    Lizzie says:

    What a mess this whole thing has turned into. Cameron is at least trying to do the decent thing, no sign of Brown doing anything, he didn’t even ask Hazel to pay her taxes. There needs to be a fresh start for the country, Britain needs a General Election pronto! Situation critical.

  454. 454
    Ths Prone Monster says:

    No: my index finger continues to mine, and mine, and mine.

  455. 455
    Ths Prone Monster says:

    …tell that to Lord Archer, David Mellor(s)…

  456. 456
    Peter Grimes says:

    The plod or his horse?

  457. 457
    Jethro says:

    7-up is pretty frightful, too.

  458. 458
    Ivor Phartparp says:

    Is Balls the fellow in the photo with the ostrich feather on his forehead?

  459. 459
    Inspector Knacker of the Yard says:

    PC 297 is an imposter. Your feet won’t touch the ground, sonny boy.

    Just got back from the transgender realignment rainbow collective to give a talk on Ashes to Ashes. Thought it was all about cricket and Oz.

    Filth, I keep telling you to call me Guv! No respect any more. What is the world of crime coming too.

    Off to the House of Common criminals. See the front pages tomorrow.

    Don’t think your getting away so easily Ginger Chipmunk. Criminal Justice system? Justice for criminals, I say.

  460. 460
    Broom and Dust says:

    and his moat it would seem.

  461. 461
    Lofa on the sofa says:

    Guido naturally sat down right in front of Sir Michael White.

    hope you had a curry the night before

  462. 462
    benji says:

    what planet are you on! Dithering Brown on the news again clutching defeat from the jaws of victory. He can’t read the mood!

  463. 463
    Kingbingo says:

    OK but apart from apologizing and paying the money back and issuing a commitment to change the rules, what are they suppose to do? Hand themselves in for a 30 year stretch at Belmarsh?

    The public seems to have descended into a mob frenzy. Perhaps it is a subconscious rejection of MP’s themselves now that they are powerless. All power in this country resides in the executive or the quangocracy (sp?).

  464. 464
    benji says:

    as apposed to Gordon Brown “doing nothing”! where have we heard that before!

  465. 465
    Sic a parcel o'rogues says:

    Foulkesakes was chairman of Heart of Midlothian until he invited Vlad the Impaler in and Vlad, spotting a complete numpty had him impaled, hung out to dry at which point Labour made him a Lard ( as he had a criminal conviction for drunken granny bashing as an MP), then because the House of Lards trough was not big enough also made him a MSP at Holyrood where he has asked £500,000 worth of asinine questions which have all said the same – the SNP are making a far better job of it at Holyrood than you and Labour ever have.

    (Numpty – Scots colloquial: a bumbling fool who is intellectually challenged – see Speaker Martin as living example)

  466. 466
    Rebel Saint says:

    “Burglars don’t get off by giving back the telly”. No they get off scott free normally. It would be a much better system of justice if they did have to give a telly back and the threat of losing their job/benefits if they did it again rather than simply pay a £50 fine to the government.

  467. 467

    That was MBs only comment that was funny.

    Maybe LAbour can’t fund trolls on expenses?

  468. 468
    Unpalatable Truth says:

    Weak, pathetic, useless. Now Camerhoon has lost the moral high ground.

    This country is heading nowhere. No lessons learnt.

    This was his chance. The Churchillian moment. Lost forever

    Adios and enjoy paying your taxes in this mediocre, compass lost, provincial little island. And to think we had an Empire.

    Churchill was right, “if we should last a thousand years, people will still say this, was our finest hour”. Well we didn’t last a further 69 years.

    Enjoy the future. Overpopulated, Islamic, Socialist, over taxed island people. Enjoy. My family have a better future elsewhere. Ciao.

  469. 469

    Guido, whats the point in the shadow cabinet repaying things because they’re forced to? Brown is right on this one – there has to be a full audit, everything in the open, of everyones receipts. Not just a few people and their moats.

    If politicians do clean up their act, naivety I know, but if they do, its not over, you can still go after the lobby :P

  470. 470
    PC 297 says:

    Shit on a stick.

    Sorry, guv, I thought you woz on leave. Open fire?

  471. 471
    Lord Mandleson of Arsebloom says:

    Oooh choices choices!

    That nice Mr Plod first and his yummy scrummy horse second.

    Well you know I am a greedy hoon

  472. 472
    Robc says:

    You have got to be joking.
    Brown and reviews=9 months later and fuck all done we are in the clear and have moved on.
    His interview with toe nails and sky show just what a shyster he is “I have done nothing wrong and I was thinking about this a long time ago”.Has anyone noticed that whenever an uncomfortable question crops up he does a smile cum grimace?

  473. 473
    Charlie says:

    It is absurd that Brown could not clean a 2 bed flat. So many MPs are claiming for services which most people do themselves. Perhaps future MPs should have skills tests- they must prove they can weed a garden, iron a shirt , paint a wall, clean a property etc , etc, change a light bulb . If they cannot undertake these functions how can they run this country effectively ? Of course silly me they cannot run this counry effectively.

  474. 474

    I’d rather wait 9 months and get all of them than rush it all now and get a few of them. They just want this to go away. Don’t fall for it!

  475. 475
    Goat says:

    I was having a bad day… Today is even fucking worse.

  476. 476
    grandma B says:

    Can’t wait. Hope it’s not a false dawn.

    Geoff Hoon spotted on NW BBC news in Manchester giving his thoughts on transport, but no mention of housing (his).

    Hazel Blears given a right ear bashing by local newscaster – Ranviah Singh

  477. 477
    Another mad Fife git says:

    there was some prospective candidate in Malvern on Sky news today. She was telling us what a martyr to herself she will be if elected. ‘I have given up a well paid job to do this…!’

    Well that’s OK you great lump of a martyr – get your snout in the trough you deserve it!

    The lack of truth and honesty in their lives – even as prospectives – shows that they just don’t get it

  478. 478
    going down the pan says:

    im just going down there and writing scum on my ballot paper DONT GIVE UP YOUR RITE TO VOTE if one of these tossers got 5votes and another got3 he would still claim he had a large majority

  479. 479
    going down the pan says:

    one roll should recycle! recycle! recycle!

Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,717 other followers